Painkiller Already - PKN 540

Episode Date: December 23, 2024

What's up boys? PKM 540, Merry Christmas. How's it going? Merry Christmas-ish. Indeed. Do you guys have fun plans? You know, when you get old, it's about the people, not the gifts,

and hope is coming over. She's gonna stay the night before, it's gonna be like she was 13. That's cool. I've gotten to the age now where I feel the same way where I'm like not I can't even think of stuff I really need when my grandma or like dad or brother. It's called 21. What are you talking about? We're acting like we just became adults or something here and

Christmas doesn't have magic. What are you talking about right now? Who is this for? I'm a 2000s kid. Yeah, Kyle, how long have you been 20? I mean for me, this is new Shit for decades at this point. Y'all know it. I know it. We all know Christmas rules you bridge about coca-cola the credit card companies and children. That's all this shit is about in that order Well, I mean, I I guess it is what you make it right a lot of people for it's about jesus and family I mean, I guess it is what you make it right a lot of people for Jesus and explained us some plebs the other day where Santa Claus came from there look actually the the ancient festivals were all melded in with the with the Roman

Catholics they wanted everyone to get along like yeah yeah that's true but that red-suited Santa Claus with those rosy cheeks with that kid on his lap and the chestnuts and the fire and the Americana that's Coca-Cola baby that's all Coca-Cola. We invented Christmas. Your idea of Christmas for what Christmas is and what you do at Christmas, Coke invented that. I think, well, I choose to believe

that the children on the adults laps was a Catholic church edition, and I can't be dissuaded from that. I mean, if you're so afraid of pedophilia that you never put a child on your lap, you know, they're never gonna learn anything That's where you learn some laps, you know, you learn how to give good lap dances you learn how to Start them early. Yeah, you're you just you are not filled with the spirit of Christmas. No, no, not at all

Like it's do you have outside? What's your joy meter at right now? I Mean, what does it start at? It's one to ten your joy meter at right now? I mean, what does it start at? It's one to ten your joy meter. Like I'm probably like a base level for joy kind of guy you know like any day I'm ready to pop off with a five you know we could okay I come down and there's candy cane tonight one was green candy canes oh those are good it is how about general mirthfulness any of that I don't fuck with that shit. You don't fuck with mirth? Nah, like 2010 I did some mirth and I woke up like, didn't know where I was. I think that's what got you in trouble.

They sent you mirth in the mail. Dude, that mail order mirth, you don't even know what you're getting. They're putting fentanyl in that. I put a tree up in my house for the first time in a while because my girlfriend was obsessed with the idea of decorating. One tree. And she's... And she's called me about your house. I put a tree up in my house for the first time in a while because my girlfriend was like obsessed with the idea of decorating. One tree. Tell me about your troubles my son tree child. I was going to say like it is kind of nice. I like

having the tree up. It's fun. What he saw he'd be like, what's that a garland? What? Oh, my tree has limbs like that. Oh, I wouldn't. I wouldn't. Well, my fourth tree. You have one indoor tree, you're saying? I have one indoor tree. And I wouldn't send a picture of it in our group chat because I would get a slideshow of Woody's 10 foot tree.

Yeah, I didn't say. But that's the living room tree. The big one is the 14 foot in the Game of Thrones tree. No, no, no. Our tree's only, I think it's ten foot actually, but this year, Jackie, she's like, what color do you want it? I was like blue, and then it's a white flocked tree, you know, the kind with like the fake snow on it. Those ornaments are black. Jackie insists that they're just very navy blue. She got Colin to closely inspect it and agree that it was blue.

But if you saw it, it's a very goth Christmas around here. I don't hate it. It's just, it is what it is. It's a goth Christmas. We have black Christmas balls. We were putting up ornaments like two weeks ago. And my girlfriend showed up.

She had all these ornaments, these garland things, the tinsel, and she was all excited to decorate the tree. And she like puts these boxes of ornaments down, like these decorative ornaments, and she opens them up. And she's like, huh, there's, there's no hooks on these. And so like, for the next 40 minutes, I'm like, bending hook wires to put into the ornaments. And then you get that shit where you have sparkles all over your hand and you touch Your face unknowingly and now that's your look for like the next nine to ten days because there's no soap that can get that off

I can like this day you were looking cute Thank you. I should have wiped my face like knowingly like under here right myself some flavor I would get down with the sparkles. I see lots of ladies sparkling. They've got that lotion with the sparkles in it. And then obviously strippers are just all sparkly. There's no reason Taylor can't be a twink stripper for Christmas. We got to take it to a game.

The vampires in a body type, you know, hairiness. I could be a, what is it? What's between the otter? Otter, yeah, that's like if you're a bear, but you're not. But you're not like super fat. Yeah, that's more of a. That's more of a that's that's a thinner bear. You got the work to become an otter.

I got a little time. You try to jump into a whole other community. They're not as forgiving as us straight. That's what I said. You try to jump into a whole other community. They're not as forgiving as us straight. So that's what I said. Oh, my God. Dude, it'll harder, my friend. They like skate away on like wheelies.

You didn't know we're there. I'm better than I did. I'm sorry. Oh, no, I'm straight overweight. I'm gay obese. Mm hmm. Yeah. Is bear an insult? I didn't think bear was an insult. It's just a preference.

It's not an insult, it's a categorization though. You're definitely a heavy set hairy fellow. Usually bearded. And you have that body type. It's not necessarily a negative, but it is a description. An otter I see as a more of a medium built, but the same hairiness and perhaps even the beard of the, uh, Hey, I see a downside.

I see a protector bringing the comedy. I'm, I'm here for it. There we go. Right. Like, and that's on him. Like he's the gross one for wanting to fuck someone who has an ass like me. Like that thicket back there. He's going to be plunging in that stuff.

I mean, if I, I feel like if I actually, this is just a straight guy. I'm not dissuaded. You can do it. Like, I was just going to say like, man, if I was gay, I'd want a real hairless feminine boy, like, yeah, you're not very good at being gay. Yeah. No, I don't think so i i think some gays like a lot of hair and some gays want no hair at all just like the rest of us like you know what i mean like like i think some of them are probably caught up in like oh the gayest i can be is like a

hairy dude that's like super gay that's because that's more masculine but um but yeah i i don't like hair on anything i don't i wish i was hairless. I wish I was like. Not totally. Yeah, totally. I mean, I keep like neck up. I keep all that, but like you have the rest. That's fair. Even like arm hair?

Yeah, honestly, like, cause I shaved my arm hair when I took those greasy pictures and it really makes your forearms pop when you got shaved arms, dude. You don't even know. Like all of a sudden that hair was hiding a lot of definition. Fair enough. I never thought about that. You see, you've never had shiny forearms. You don't even know they, you, you oil those bad boys up.

Every time you squeeze something, they're glinting, popping light off of them. Reflect, refracting, reflecting. Very normal amount of hair. Total arms. Normal. Yeah. You could do better than normal. You could be hairless and oiled. I've got a little more arm hair than you, but you're lighter, complected.

You've got more of that Irish in you as much as you hate it. We talking to me. Oh, I love the I want the blood. I just don't want the mentality. That's all. Like they've got their blood is pure clearly like ivory. So I mean, look at those people. It's like Conor McGregor. Like it's hard to like fall out of my graces because I'll stick in there with you, man. But Conor McGregor's

done it. Like my God, you'd like took a half a decade off of what you claim to be the best at and then you just spend it raping apparently. I think I'm out. You need to beat up an old man in a bar or something like that. I'm okay with the old man being because sometimes old dudes are talking shit and they need to eat one. You know what I mean? It seemed like he just declined alcohol. The reason I didn't like that one the most because that's the one where I most directly fit into the old man's role. If Connor was like, you want whiskey? I'd be like, ugh.

Counterpoint? Lemonade? And he would hit me. Yeah, now I understand if it were like that, but here's where it actually was. I think they were in a pub in Ireland at night partying with Connor McGregor. And he said,

Hey, would you like some of this? That's not what he sounds like. Would you like some of the stuff that I own? And the guy was like, no, I don't drink that piss. And Conor was like, ow, right in the kisser and gave him one. Like there's no way you, like we're in an Irish pub in Ireland, right?

Like, like, like nobody, there was nobody in there who was like, ew, whiskey, like alcohol. Like I promise you that man was drunk when he said no. Yeah, maybe you're right. I don't know. Maybe that was why. Maybe I think it was an insult. I stopped at 14 or maybe that.

Yeah, but anyway, even if he didn't, I'm OK with assaulting an old man. Even if the old man was like a beggar on the street, I'm okay with that. You know what I mean? Like, like do what you got to do. Connor McGregor is an old man. Well, you know, everybody should have picked a different path or a different house or a different street or just stay at a Conor McGregor's way. Cause he's coming.

Uh, I mean, but, but I don't like the raping and I don't like that. He hasn't worked for a living for like, like, like, where are you going to fight again? Like that's what you say you do, but what do you do you do? You say you fight, but I never see you fight. Jim Collison he was sitting there pretending to be the champ for a while. And I think it was Max Holloway, who's like, he simultaneously gave him his flowers and put them in his place when he was like, You are the champion of 2014, or whatever it is. And I'll, I'm with that, right? You were. You won the belt. You'd had a great run. Stop acting like you're still champ. Stop acting like you still fight. All you do is dodge and act like you're champ. And this is

like 6 years ago he was saying that. And I'm like, Yeah, the Eagles don't act like they're champ. They were champ 4 years ago. That's a good guess. It's close. And they say, we hope to be champ again. That's what every other UFC champ does. Connor acts like he's still somebody. Bro, Connor would be, if he was ranked accurately, he'd be like, I don't know, maybe not top 15. Yeah. Well, he's old and he hasn't fought in forever.

It does speak to the impact he left on the sport that like seemingly six years later, people are still talking about him. Like who, who else can just like quit for six years and people are still like, is he going to come back? No, he's never going to come back. John Jones, Khabib, GSP, small list. Khabib has done too, right? He just trains.

Or everyone's like, Khabib, you should come back. You should come back. And he's like done too, right? He just trains. Or coach. Yeah, everyone's like, Khabib, you should come back, you should come back. And he's like, no, I am rich and I've got everything I need. And this is where, this is my new direction.

And where would he, and where would he go? Like where would he fight? You know, I don't, I don't think he's gonna upset. You don't think the UOC would have it? No. Oh, you mean the class.

Oh. Yeah. You don't look like 1555. No, no, no. You mean the class. Oh, yeah. You don't look like 155 anymore. No, no, no. He needed his counter. Uh he's he'd have to be 170 and 170 is not easy. No, it's and I mean most of the

champs are really big for their weight and he was too but at 170, he would not be at all. So. Yeah. He was a weight bully. He was always a weight bully. A lot of, a lot of the champions are, there's not a lot of champions who's like, look how small he is.

Wow. You're always like, look at that monster. How does he make this weight? He always the champ. Yeah. It's always that. It's always some, some goon who somehow can cheat the scales for 10 extra pounds. He's walking around at 235 and weighing in at 170. Like what? How? How? You're not supposed

to be in here with these people. He does the towel thing, doesn't he? That's just no, no, no. So that's that was the kind of a one time thing that some of those only know of DC doing that. But apparently, like it's an old veterans thing. He's not the first person to have ever done it. Maybe first in the UFC. Not sure. But in boxing, we've seen that in wrestling, apparently a lot. Um, but, but at this point, like the weigh-ins are real, like they've, they're,

they're real, um, and you're not going to get around it with that towel shit anymore. Somebody will call you. Somebody will call you out in that situation. Daniel Cormier, Cormier was so beloved and he was going into such an important fight. It was like nobody would be like, Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You see that? You see that? I agree. This is his last fight. I mean, the wildest one is when John Jones popped for steroids and they just moved the whole

event to another state that would let him compete dirty. Yeah, like that is that's that's 10 times touching. They would just ignore it when DC would pop dirty. They would just pretend like it didn't happen. We're just making stuff up now. This is PKA people come to us for accuracy. Look it up. Y'all look it up. Look at Daniel Cormier's urine test. Spreading misinformation about Daniel Cormier. Spreading misinformation about the spirit of Christmas.

I'm a truth teller out here people. Look at Daniel Cormier's piss test. Look at his record. You'll see he's pissed out several times. Nobody gave a damn. You know what I mean? Everybody's on steroids. All right.

All I know, steroids didn't make that man be 6'4 and look like a Spider-Man. All right. They didn't make him win for two decades straight without a loss. All right. He's just the greatest. That's all it is. He's going to fight. I hope he fights Aspen on and quietens all these silly people who have been fans of MMA

for three years. Oh, Aspen all. He's the one. Do you have any of the ones there? It sounds like we have a bet. If Jones ever stops dodging Aspital, I would gladly. It's called negotiating. You also always like take it away from him. He wants Steve A, he wants Gagne. You're like, coward! This guy, he is, yeah, he is so. Gagne,

Gagne, first of all, Gagne was the number two ranked guy in the world and he's still the number two ranked guy. Dude, that win aged so badly. Gagne looks like a chump now. Does he now? What's he ranked right now? I don't know. He just lost him. Number two! Second in the world, last time I checked. He may have lost a fight in the last month. He looked like garbage too. Oh my god. He was number two. He's one of the best in the world. He's still one of the best in the world. He's still one of the best in the world before during and after that fight Just can't give John his roses poor John Jones over there

Just just been a champion since he could barely buy alcohol. That's all He's an old man now Yeah, still never lost and they're like, ah, I don't know. He's not that good We got this white kid who's a boxer who's bigger and younger. He might be as good dude. John Jones has been dodging hard competition for five or six years.

Now he's consistently getting beat by you Sada. He has a bunch of wins on his record against people his size where everyone agrees he didn't actually win. He's made a career out of 185 pound fighters. This idea that he's better than everyone else is silliness. I think it's racism, Taylor. No one puts John Jones on the top of the list because he pissed hot repeatedly for steroids. Everyone puts him on the top of the

list. He's like... That's not true. Obviously, it's not true that everyone puts him on top of the list, but if you take all the lists you want, he's Jordan of MMA he's the guy who's gonna come up on the top of most list. That's funny I wonder if there's people who think that this is true. He's the Jordan of MMA. I thought a GSP. I'll tell you this if you ask the guy who does the announcing at the UFC or the guy who owns the UFC they'll both tell me to say the same thing. Ah the promoter says the current fighters the best ever I'm shocked. Colorby and the announcer thing. Ah, those guys. The promoter says the current fighters, the best ever. I'm shocked. Colourby and the announcer. Oh my goodness gracious. The guy is trying to sell the fights and the guy who's hired to sell the fights says the guy who's fighting tonight is the best. Joe Rogan

and not the retired guy. Can be bought by Dana White. Yes. Didn't Joe Rogan say that? Back in the day Joe Rogan said he makes a quarter billion off podcast. Whatever money they pay him at the UFC will make him tell lies about UFC fighters. No, but he's a hype man. Remember when he was saying years and years ago, I remember Ronda Rousey was so skilled that she could beat up men and like people unironically believed that it took that just that so she could beat up Floyd Mayweather. Yeah, that's retarded Floyd Mayweather. Yeah, Floyd Mayweather. Yeah, there was a lot of crazy stuff, but she didn't then go beat up men for two

decades straight because they dislike it. It would be the same. Do you dislike this aspect? Oh, do you just like Jones more? Oh, I hate Jones. He's a scumbag. He's the worst. I mean, in the in the fighter ranking, like you just think so. I'm not here for my best, my favorite, like toy or my favorite Power Ranger.

There's a scumbag and he's the goat. And then there a nice guy named Aspin all who's got got lots of cool toys And he's fun to watch. He's not as good Well, I hope they fight I don't think Joe rare is the guy I think Joe is the guy run away from Aspin all for the rest of his life Jones is trying like Aspin I was the interim champ. They both have belts and John Jones won't unify him He's coming up like tarot like, you know, he's calling me out and I don't like to do business with people who want to fight me. So I don't want to like make you put money

in his pocket. I'm gonna never fight him ever. This is like legitimately John Jones. I it's called negotiation. This is like this is like when you got mad at Connor for it's funny. He never negotiated that on any of his other fights. Yeah, it was all comers, right? Like, like, what are you talking about? He ran away from Chael Sonnen too, which is hilarious. His his my god. It's true. Tell me that's not true. When John Jones is going to do business, he wants

his own contract. He wants to negotiate because he's the greatest of all time. He doesn't say like, pay me what you want. I'll be there on Sunday. Every time he's going, he stops, takes a step back and renegotiates and gets more money. Cause he's working, not just putting on a show. The same way when Connor would do that and Khabib would actually get butt hurt

over Connor's shit talk. And he's like, talk now in the ring. Connor's like, why? I can't make you more money by talking now. I've been nothing but making run your mouth now. You little piece of shit. I will run out while you count your fortune. Khabib, you're so welcome.

Tell your children under their mop. Yeah, that was one of the greatest moments in MMA history when could be showed McGregor where he really stood. McGregor showed Khabib how to promote when McGregor showed Khabib how to promote? When McGregor showed Khabib how to sit on his ass and say, I don't want to talk now. It was only business, boss man. It was only business. Please stop hitting me. Is that what he said? Yeah, I'm paraphrasing, but it's only business is what he said. I remember standing up and taking out like two or three of Khabib's buddies, because that's how I remember it. This isn't very Christmassy. I bet that dirty fuck Khabib ain't celebrating Christmas right now.

You know who is our boy Conor McGregor. He's having himself a little little whiskey by the tree right now. A 15 foot tree. Little nose candy, little nose candy, couple rape victims. Merry Christmas. Get it right. Little snow. Little Christmas snow.

Answer me this, Kyle. It'll determine how much I like John Jones. Is he a Kwanzaa American or a Christmas American? Oh 100% Christian American. He's got his dad. His dad was a preacher He's got bible verses on his body. He's a huge huge piece. He's a fake Christian big Oh, he's a fake Christian 100% fake, but he's a christmas. He likes to use his christianity as a criticism shield Yeah, he's doing the stay back. I'm with Christ the Russell. That Russell Brand thing. I can't wait to see like that collapse because there's no fucking way that dude went from

like total weirdo seemingly a pervert like drug guy overnight to be like I'm all about Jesus now mate. And it's like really like that seems like all the rape all about Jesus now, mate. And it's like, really? Like that seems tactical. I'm finding out about the rape accusations and the pedophilia. Pedophilia is a stretch because I think that 16 year old was legal in that state, but he was in his 30s banging a 16 year old

with her parents' permission, seemingly. It's a really confusing thing. He did the best he could, dude. Come on. Well, I mean, he could have also banged people 18 and over and we wouldn't even be talking about it. In England. Yes. 16 is there. 16 is already England. I thought we looked at this before and it was, I'm pretty sure 16.

There's 18 here. Look, you know, I don't think Russell Brand did anything wrong. There are all these qualifiers. It's like, well, it was legal where he was. Hasn't it always been legal where he is? Yeah, totally. And he also asked her permission, her parents for permission. You'd want that, wouldn't you? Yeah, you definitely would.

What are we going to do? We're going to ruin it. We offer the father like a salary. Didn't he literally do everything the right way? Like, so the right way. It's weird, right? Like like he was trying a little too hard to be the right to do the right thing. You know what I mean?

Like he knew he knew what that you were going to be a piece of shit about all this. Yeah. Like I'm fine with Russell Brand. I don't think he's a good actor. I didn't think he was a good comedian either. But it didn't seem like he did anything that wrong. You know, he felt Kevin Spacey, too. I never felt Kevin Spacey victimized anybody He's just a dick honker. You know, he's just a dirty old man who likes to honk He's just a dirty old man. Yeah, come over to my wasn't he like, oh, we're having a big party at my house

Stop by and then it's like true just hit That one wasn't right the record so like the the one main piece where they were throwing him under the rug some young underage actor claimed that he was like attacked by By spacey at spacey's apartment But then when he described spacey's apartment like he couldn't like he got so wrong that that it makes his story implausible Because he said that it was that spacey took him back to a bedroom and then like pounced on him and pinned him onto the mattress

But spacey's apartment was this open floor plan where his bed was in the living room in the like asounced on him and pinned him onto the mattress. But Spacey's apartment was this open floor plan where his bed was in the living room in like as a central piece of the party, like everything was open. So there's nowhere to retreat back to away from the crowd that he says was there. So that was nonsense. But then there's been multiple people who like there was the one guy who pretended like he was gay to be like, oh, my God, Kevin Spacey, you're amazing. And like sitting with him, hanging out with him. And he's texting his girlfriend. He's like, like, oh my God, Kevin Spacey, you're amazing. And like, sitting with him, hanging out with him

and he's texting his girlfriend. He's like, dude, just honk my dick. Kevin Spacey is gay. This is crazy. I'm gonna keep it up, see how far I can go. And he's just like messing with Kevin Spacey, but multiple. And then the one guy was like,

hey, invited me back to his house. He asked if I wanted to watch a screening of Casablanca. And I don't know, I looked over and he had it out. He had it out. I looked up the Russell brand thing to circle back to it was in the UK and she was 16, which I'm pretty sure is legal, but also creepy. Yeah. You know how sleeping beauty was when Prince Charming came along. I don't like, I don't need to sleep. I'm gonna say 13.

Yeah, that's right. He's a real Prince Charming. I think we should reuse that. Yeah. That's what you call someone who, instead of a pedophile, uh, when a guy likes like 15 year old girls, he's a, he's a Prince Charming. A real Romeo. Did you make that up just now or have you heard it before? I just made that up. Yeah, I'm digging it. How old was Sleeping Beauty?

Zach says Aurora was 16 and Fuck yeah. Philip was 20. Is Aurora the princess? Yeah. I'm gonna guess that yeah. Okay, well that seems like a pretty stock standard back in the day of nights relationship. That's it. I don't know if you ever saw that one. That's one of the lesser ones or one of the older ones or maybe least popular

ones, sleeping beauty, but it has a great fight scene at the end with an actually scary dragon. If I remember correctly as a child, it actually scared me. Yeah. It's like a good dragon, scary, but uh, 20 and 16. I mean, that's legal in a lot of places. Romeo and Juliet laws generally say that if they're within four years, start checking the birthdays.

So like three years and 11 months is fine, but over four years is not. So 16 and 20, I don't know. Russell Bram was like 38 or something. He was like twice her age. Yeah, yeah, it's a little old to be tooling around with 16 year olds. He's more of a king charming at that point, you know?

Yeah, he's like a Duke. Yeah, Duke charming. Look out, Duke charming's coming girls. Prince Andrew kind of. He's buttoned up. Duke charming's coming around, button that top button. He'll do a little inspection. Yeah, you wouldn't want that.

But he, and he just seems like a greasy guy when he talks. I've always enjoyed his accent and his delivery though, but it gets grating after a little while. I'm with you a thousand percent. And I admire his ability to do it. Like he, I feel like anytime he wants to, he can rattle off a lot of four, six syllable words and make a point and be coherent

and use them properly, right? He's not some guy who's like, stop disintegrating me. And you're like that, what? You know, and he has that gift of gab. But also it's like unnecessary obscurity mixed in with his language where you just, half of my people are decoding what he's saying. If you want to see the best examples of people like doing the the faux sophistication using words

incorrectly, watch black Israelites on YouTube because they will people with the most just profound confidence and be like, seeing the problem here is you coming up to me with an attitude of pontification. You see. You know, and historically, that ain't the way you should be approaching me. It's like, what the fuck you're just making.

But they got a big group there and they're all yelling at some guy in a Yamaka who's like, why are you yelling at me? And and they're like you ain't even a real Jew see the problem is is you be pretended You be pretending to be a Jewish you come in here pontificating on shit You ain't even understand and the guy's like, please let me through. I'm trying to get to the bank We're having a Jew off credit scores, please gentlemen. Oh, is it time for the Yamaka throw? I assume you paid full price for those shoes. He challenged him to a Jew off.

That would be a good. Oh, my God. That'd be a big. Dude, he challenged him to a Jew off. That would be a good, oh my God, that'd be a big, you know what? If I'm the black Israelite, he might win me over with that. Like humor, you know that like, uh, the, that old idea for a reality show where it's like a bunch of straight men in a house and like, they have to find, they're all supposed to be gay and they have to find the one that's straight hiding out, but they're all supposed to be gay and they have to find the one that's straight hiding out, but they're all straight. They could do like Jew house where they say they have to find out who the not real Jew is, but no one's Jewish.

And so they're all just doing spilling coffee. I saw a video the other day and they've got like five girls and said alright, we want you to rank yourselves according to attractiveness and stand in order from least attractive to most attractive and give them a minute and Then they bring the men in say alright guys Rearrange them and they got how do you think and the guy goes? Alright, first of all you back it up Keep going.

Like he said, this this ugly fat bitch has made herself the queen of the roost. And this little demure Asian girl had been like, yeah, I guess I'm ugly. That's true. And they were like, honey, get out. Come here. You are right side of the line kind of girl. You know, over there. And they sent that big bitch over to the left side and like completely rearrange. Dude, I want to see this video. I'll see if I can find it. Yeah, I've seen something similar to that. And that's like its own weird like, like, like female

strategy thing they do where like, all the girls selfrating are like, Oh my God, you're so beautiful. Look at her, your nails. And then they like usher some beluga up to the second place Mark. And they all like they like that skinny Asian girl. I know that. I've seen a screenshot of the video you're referencing. Here it is. You're crazy. If you think that Asian girl who is thin, didn't know she's more attractive than that fat girl, but it's like a social game They're playing and then some dude comes in and throws it down

544 for screech 544 they do like a split screen of the difference in the men's grouping and the women's grouping Yeah women's ranking is laughable there really Yeah, okay as a whole let's agree the women's ranking is laughable there. Really? Yeah. Okay. As a whole, let's agree the women's ranking is laughable. I think the men have it right. The only one thing I wonder the middle three are almost a tie for me. I think the men are there with you know in person and we got a little bit of fuzz going

on a little bit of fogginess. It's kind of hard to tell. Like that, their faces look so blurry. I can't really, I can't really tell how pretty the three clearly prettier ones are. Yeah. The, the, I put it in full screen because I make my browser small so that I don't look at you guys on the floor. Now that I have it bigger, I think the men have it right, but I might switch two and three. I can't tell the face as much

because it's blurry on the bottom, the women's ranking number one, and she's holding her hand in front of her face at the top, but it looks like sports bra and Asian girl in the jumper, definitely the top two. But that other, you know, they're. Oh, so you're with me. The top two are one and three.

Yeah, yeah, I think so. But you also can't tell. Look at the bottom left. That's an Asian girl who's thinking, whatever. Yeah, honestly, I feel like there's a certain self-confidence in that, oh, am I the ugliest one here? If you say so, Tubby. It's because one, three, four four and five are all in full understanding

that they're more attractive than the fat one. And so they're doing like a second layer, like a second layer social game where they're they don't want to mean because they don't talk about like actual physical. Oh, you're you've got that thing. You are like, oh, this about you, all these non tangibles. Right. Your aura, your glow. Fucking chart.

Like the things about you that can't actually be measured. Oh, my God, there's so much of them. They're so good. Like you can't even measure what's amazing about you. That's the thing about you. You can't even measure it. It's impossible. Not with a scale.

You need to. A scale, a ruler, a camera, none of that shit. We'd have to use x-rays. We'd have to use some sort of infrared technology like Hubble. But no, that that big bitch right there like domineered the whole room and was like, yeah, I'm second best, right? They're like, ah, back it up. I don't get how women consider themselves all tens. I can fall into the everyone's a seven, right? I've seen a lot of people, like I don't know who did it,

but they're like, rate yourself from one to 10. You can't use seven. And it's like, Ooh, cause that's the divide right there, right? Do I think like seven is almost the term for average ish. But yeah, a lot of women want to be tens and they they get insulted if they're not 10s. It's like 10? All guys know they're not 10s, with a few exceptions like Ryan Reynolds and, I don't know, pick your guy, whoever the heck plays Thor. Chris Hemsworth. Thank you. But women, they all think they're 10s. I first of all, 75% of women give themselves tensed.

Ridiculous. And you mentioned this Woody, like an eight or a nine or something. Like you don't even know what an eight is, if I'm being honest with you. Like what an eight is just, an eight is high. Oh my God, oh my God, look,

I would, all right, that's what an eight is to me. That's a good way of putting it. If I see an eight, I'm gonna elbow you to look. Like I'm gonna get my buddy's attention, like hey, look, what the fuck? Like what's she doing here I don't know man probably like in a room like us yeah but like shouldn't they just give her one look at her like like I don't see a lot of eights and that falls into like are you doing this on a bell curve where the tails are no I'm shitty about it I'm I think I think you

are though like the tails are very uncommon they're rare right so they're very long tails and Kyle's bell curve. The other way to do it is for like 10% of women to be 10s. 10% of them to be nines, et cetera. I don't believe in that. If you do it like the 10% way, and I think, Bodhi, you've said this before, like the vast majority of women, if they are fit,

like are gonna be in like the seven ish, six or seven category or better. Like if a woman's like physically fit, she has to have like a busted face to be like a four or something. Cause it's like, you know, I think of like the whole first half, just all fat. Like that's what all of it is.

Or, and this isn't their fault. Old, right? You know know like if you were to pick freaking end of life Joan Rivers stayed in to the end of you know end of life being her last 1050 years. I'm okay with a little older. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But Joan Rivers is one I think lived a long time and got it stayed thin. She died from a neck surgery. So that's it. Wasn't was pretty. Yeah, you know, she just expired, man.

And it's not her fault. So that anesthetician's fault. And it's easy. Is anesthesiologist. Yeah, OK. Anesthetician is a hairdresser, I believe, right? Like another old, thin celebrity who's not pretty. Can help me out.

I'm drawing a blank. Roseanne. She's thin. Yeah. I think Roseanne is thin now, isn't she? I thought I saw her. She went from, from like young and fat to old and thin comparatively. Yeah. Well then she would fit right. And that's, I just, I, I try to give people like, all right, you're a four, you're a three, but you're the best three. If I grade you on a scale amongst your 72 year old peers,

you're kicking ass. Yeah. Yep. But you know, the rating system, quite the quandary, but it is funny how like there are so few illusions for men where it's like, you'll never meet like a guy who's a five who's like, yeah, I think of myself like a nine. It's like, it just doesn't happen.

Right, you don't also, fewer excuses, I think, you know, like it, you can lose like your mom, your house, and your dog in the same year. And a guy is like, yeah, I'm working some shit out right now. Yeah, well, you know, get yourself, pull yourself together, asshole. You know, we all got shit to get done.

But women, it's, you know, we all got shit to get done. But women, it's you know, woe is me. Where's my help? Yeah, must be boys rule. I love when you see like, I'll see a girl on social media, like, oh my god, I've got to move all by myself. And I'm thinking, like, I've never had help in my life. Nobody's ever stepped up. It's always been either one time, actually one time, some people helped, but I've moved like 10 fucking times. I've moved 10 fucking times, dude. And it's always been a struggle and it's always been hard. And I've never expected anyone.

I've never expected anyone to show up. Yeah, I've had to help people help me move like when I was in my twenties, but I didn't think about it till just now. I am so like ahead of the game on the help versus receive help thing. I don't know how many times I've helped people move, but it must be two dozen and I've received help like twice. Yeah, I have helped move maybe once. I think only I think once maybe I helped a girl move

once, but that's never anything. That's always bullshit. I helped a guy move once in his whole family. You know what I mean? They have all this old timey Russian hardwood furniture and shit. Like, this is heavy, be careful. I'm like, everything is fucking heavy Sergei! You don't own anything made in America! How did you even get here? It's all old country shit.

Be careful, this coffee table is my great great great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandmothers. It was so heavy it would hurt your hands. Like, like, like when you put it down, you'd have these, your hands would have creases or like indents from the edges and stuff. That's rough, but the other side of it is rough too, because I help hope and then move. And it's like, oh, this furniture, it's IKEA and it's held together with those cam screws

and the legs wanna wiggle and nothing's heavy, everything's fragile. Like this shit can only survive one move and this is it. Yeah, that stuff's not meant to be moved really. I love this desk I've got. I don't think it's overly expensive or anything. I got it off Amazon forever ago, but it breaks down and it's, I love the whole top of it is a, is a mouse pad and I've disassembled it and moved it

so many times. And just for gaming, like having that full some, usually I can just like game right here in like a little area with my wrists or conference or whatever. But sometimes some games have crazy recoil. I can't remember if it's Tarkov or whatever, but I'd reach and get a whole like armful of desk to like drag the recoil out in some games. And it's there. I did. I love this desk. Isn't it cool when you make a purchasing decision and then even like six years later, you're like, what a banger of a choice I've made.

That was good. This chair is one for me, this Herman Miller chair. I can't imagine how many thousands of hours I have in this chair. I have a thousand hours in Elden Ring, all in this chair, and we're just warming up. Elden Ring's new, right? Imagine how many cot hours I have, PKA. I had a gamer chair for the longest time.

And then I, in like in the corner of this office room, I had this like normal office chair and then switched back to the office chair. I was like, oh, this is, this is why they made chairs like this forever until like fucking Toyota accidentally manufactured too many seats and sold them in bulk to some chair making company. And he's like, all right, how do we convince these fat idiots

that sitting in a Toyota passenger seat is actually peak gaming? And it's like, oh. Yeah. I love this chair so much. Yeah, I've got a Maxnomic. It's like $556,000. Like everything is perfect still after 10 years or whatever.

Like not a stitch is busted, the leather is all still good. MaxNomic Dominator by chance? Probably. I love this chair. I was, whenever I bought it, it was the one that no one else had. So I appreciated that about it. It was like $152,000 more. And I think DJ Racer was like getting anyone with a with a YouTube channel a chair and

I didn't want one of their cheap $250 chairs that were free. So I got this one and I love it. Like everything in just and it's comfortable. And like you, like you said, just looking at my steam account, there's been thousands of hours grinded into this chair if farts had demons in them this thing would be skulls showing around yeah it's like Frank Renard's chair there'd be a black hole that led to a dark realm of suffering or something in one of these that's what I think about like that's what wings should do he should make a big deal of auctioning his old chairs off. Every year there should be like, it's time.

To auction off Wings and get some zoom ins on the middle of that chair and do some calculations about how much punishment it's taken over the last year. It should come with a mason jar of bath water or something like that. Just to pick a simp. Delphine, that bath water girl something like that. Delphine that fell down.

You still going hard. What are you talking about? Going hard. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. She made a sex doll. That's the so I don't know about that. It's odd. I don't really keep that in touch with it,

although I do find her super attractive. But I think she made a sex doll of herself, a real doll of herself that she marketed. And that was the last thing from her little universe that I was aware of. I genuinely don't pay attention, but I do check in every now and then to see what's going on. Cause I find it fascinating,

the sort of ramp up that she's done and how calculated it's been from like, I don't know, showing like a little like pussy lip at the side of her panties to like full blown full blor penetration with her boyfriend and like like like, you know, all that and making her own sex doll and all that. Last thing I remembered you telling me about her is that she like sucked fake dicks. They were like realistic looking baby legs maybe that's who no, that's who's Amaranth. That's Amaranth who does that.

Okay. Who is the goat by the way? She's the throat goat. She's the goat? She's the goat of like dirty girls online is in my opinion. Like, first of all, she's gotta be worth 50 million. Like, like, and second of all, she's like a gamer chick who's like, I don't know, she looks to me like she's like 510 redhead with giant boobs and a perfect body.

So like, I mean, what more do you want? So would that get you in the Christmas season? Unless she sprouts wings, like there's your there's your nine or 10 right there. Like, what does she look like? Amaranth? I Googled her she is apparently a bowl of rice let me see if i that's like when uh like chris pratt's trying to figure out what's wrong with leslie nope on the internet he's like so funny it looks like you have network

connectivity issues i i figured out how Woody misspelled it. Amaranth grain. Yeah. She's sad there. Is she crying? I think she's literally crying and talking about how her ex-husband manipulated her and made her stream in like skimpy clothes. And then she came back the next day and skimpy clothes and strained. I'm laughing at her pain though.

Little PR move, you think? A little drumming up attention perhaps? She's obviously super pretty and hot and everything in that picture. I don't know why Zach would show that picture. Zach found a literal picture. It was her belly though that I was focused on. Like this is a girl who streams in bikinis.

Right. I sometimes remind myself, Woody, everybody when curled over, like boobs, Denise, there you go. That's okay. That's more representative of the product that I've come to expect from the Amaranth corporation. This is a penthouse cover that we can't really show. Well, I mean, she made that.

Oh, I don't know what she did. I believe it. It seems unlikely. I figured she just made this. It's a good guess. In any case, big fan of Amaranth. How old is she? I feel like I've been hearing about her doing this for a while. Let's call it 26.

Has Amaranth gone like full triple X? I don't think so. I don't think she's had sex at all with real penises. I bet she has. She is 31 and she's five foot four, Kyle. Really? Yes. I don't believe that.

She looks very tall. That's what it says on, I put Amaranth age. It wouldn't lie to me. I mean, I believe you if you say it. I'm just saying she looks, looks taller than that. Yeah. Five, four, she does look taller than that. Anyway.

At what age does a woman hit peak attractiveness? Obviously not the same for every woman, but. 12. I said woman, not girl. Layup joke. I meant girl, not hag. What do you want to say? 20?

Yeah. You show Kyle a picture of some 19 year old hag, he's likely to vomit. She's a girl, because I alcohol. What are you doing? In my head, it vibes a little like at what age does an athlete peak, right? Like it depends what the sport is and what, like Michael Jordan was probably the most athletic version

of himself at like 24, 25, but he was the best version of himself at like 29, 31, something like that. So it's like, ah, what age does, like all the factors that she offers come together to be the best human sex doll. It's really what I'm going for. For girls, I feel like,

for girls I feel like it's got, it's somewhere in the twenties, but it can depend on where in the twenties they're the fittest. No, like years? What do you mean years? 20 years? No, like 22.

Like 20s. No, I was joking that they're wildly expired by the time they've been on this earth for 10. I don't know. I just, I just. You and fucking Russell Brand. Look, connoisseurs. That's what they call us, connoisseurs.

You're like a sommelier. You're like, oh, this is a fine 2014. 2014. Pal, have you watched Silo yet? No, I'm waiting for it all to come out. I'll tell you what I did watch though. And all of It's out is lower decks. Lower decks wrapped up, not just the season,

but the series. They're all done. I'm hoping someone buys them. And like a Netflix or somebody says, we want more lower decks. Cause at the end end, they kind of did the same thing that the expanse did. They're like, what are we gonna do now?

And they're like, well, gonna do now and they're like well We could do this. Oh, we can do that. There you do this and it's almost like they're saying it to the network executives It's like oh we could do a we can explore over here or we can explore over there or in there Another musical just say Yeah, so like how did you did you, I thought the first couple episodes of Lower Deck were not as strong as previous years. I guess I didn't zero them out as being any different. What they did was they had the crew really mature

over the five years. It does make sense for it to be five years because traditionally it was a five year mission in the original track. It's like a five year mission to explain, to explore strange new worlds, to seek out blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then over that, the course of that,

they go from lower decks to like middle management and on the cusp of management. And so you do get that growth out of the characters. I liked that show a lot. There's so much fan service and like, you remember when type stuff from series from the nineties, you know, all that stuff I watched when I was a kid and that I binge watched to this day The the makers of that cartoon are clearly huge fans of it. So I dug all that silo. I'm gonna pick up very soon

My girlfriend is rewatching season one right now to like brush up And but I really want to be able to binge watch it I've been watched And, but I really want to be able to binge watch it. I binge watched Landman the other night and I really liked being able to just, and another one, and another one, and another one. I do like binge watching it. So I try to talk about Silo in a way that it's like zero spoilers,

but I was watching a recent episode, I won't even give the number, and in protest, Jackie's watching it. She's like, I don't think it's as bad as you do. I start reading Reddit. I'm like, fuck this show. If you're gonna take an hour to give me 18 seconds of plot movement, I'm gonna read Reddit.

I can keep up with you and surf the web at the same time so easily. This is no video. I don't wanna disturb Jackie's experience, but Silo, bro, like at this point, you're not making a mistake. You're doing something intentionally. What the heck?

Well, I hope it's what you've described with Game of Thrones before, where when you're able to, oh, you know, watch them in order, you don't mind as much, but. Right. Yeah, when you binge watch them, it doesn't feel quite as slow, but I can't watch more than one at a time.

That is, even though I thought high school, when they made me stay up to class deficiency, is that what they call it? Whatever it is. Like, even though when they made me stay up to high school as punishment and just sit there bored, I thought that would prepare me for moments like this. I find myself under trained and hard to... It's hard to make it to the end of the end of it. I'm so good at that. I can sit in that little room with it with nothing. I've been given that treatment so many times in life at this point. I'm like, this is it. He's like Rorschach, you think I'm trapped in here with you. You're drafted here with

me. I can picture that concrete slab wall that does those concrete blocks that have been painted with that latex paint that you can sort of like indents with your email and I can picture the bubbles that form and where four blocks come together because I've counted them bitches. down them blocks, I'll start doing math. I'll imagine a Tetris game on that wall for myself. I've spent so much time in those little block fucking rooms, whether it's high school or the federal penitentiary system. But in prison, you had books. Like you were able to distract yourself more. I assume in detention, you're just sitting there and they're like, no doing homework, no doing anything.

Yeah, books are. Where'd your books come from? Library, we had a decent library Um, and you could request things and then chis was mailing me books Anything that the library didn't have chis would mail me So I uh, I read like anthony cummings book while I was in there and a bunch of other shit that he sent him I think I've read maybe rogans or sterns wrote a few different books like that Uh, but they had a good library. It had most of what I wanted.

Didn't have Harry Potter. So I got that sent in. Should have left it for him. I don't know why I took my books. I was just thinking of that. Yeah. There was a little bit of meanness in me when I left. I was like, fuck all y'all.

I'm taking this shit. I'm taking all these. I'm going to throw these mackerels out at the closest gas station. That would have been funny. That's what a, what character does that there's a movie. Oh, it's in rounders. Edward Norton's character at the beginning of rounders is getting released from prison and he's, he's a poker pro and he cheats at it at the same time. Even when he, when his professional skills won't get him through, he cheats and they're playing poker for cigarettes and he takes all the cigarettes and they're like Norris you're out and the guys like you're out today. What the fuck and he's like, yep

Going out to the real world. He scoops up this huge double handful of cigarettes and he goes You don't even smoke he goes. Yeah I know and like crumples them up and throws them away in the trash can on the way out Yeah, I kind of had that kind of mindset with my books, I guess. I'm like, I'm taking these paperbacks home. Like they're mine. I watched that final scene a bunch of times, like, you know, hero comes out on top sort of thing. It's fun. Oh, that's the beginning of the movie. Randers has a great ending to it where, oh, you're I'm talking about the end. You're talking

about the beginning. Yeah, Rounders is a fun movie. That was the first poker movie I think I ever saw. Yeah, poker pros apparently love that movie because it brought less skilled people into the game than all of them said they made a million bucks off Rounders fans. Oh, for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, that and then Chris Moneymaker maker he won the World Series of poker in like 2004 I think and He was the first he was an accountant and he was the first like maybe not the first but the first outside the poker little sphere outside that incestuous world of fear outside that incestuous world of professional gambler world to like come in and win that thing while it was televised on ESPN and he caused what was called the poker boom and suddenly and his name was just perfect Chris moneymaker.

That's perfect for a gambler. And so then like I can remember those a box of poker chips for at home was expensive. Like it was more expensive than like 19 year old me wanted to spend for a good one. It was like, I'll get the cheap one because the good one with the clay chips was like $150. Now they're like 20 bucks cause it's clay and a little aluminum case.

You know, it's nothing. But back then, like everybody needed one. They felt like, and we were playing every weekend. I was playing three days a week Poker for money at the time. Is that what real poker chips are made of that casinos clay clay? alright, so They're made of different things and I would imagine that they could the chips at real casinos are probably not clay Because that they probably have something that's very difficult to I. I think they have RFID in them now too.

Yeah. But at home, poker chips are clay or plastic. If you had to snap it with just your two fingers and a thumb, can you break a chip? I've never tried because they represent money. It's like I would like to know. You don't have a vibe for how strong they are without breaking it Would that be if I didn't want to bet a whole chip and I've never seen 50 coin

The fact that I've never seen one be broken lends me to think that they can't be broken But it's one of those things that I genuinely never even tried. Probably because it's someone else's money that I'm sitting at a table borrowing and I'm treating it kindly all the time. But I bet, I don't know. I know that I know a lot of them are made of clay and that would make me think you could shatter them,

but I've never seen it happen. So I don't know. You know the new YouTube like rabbit hole I've gone down to, still loving outdoor boys by the way. Great. Top notch content. But there's a dude on YouTube who's trying to design a top, you know, the thing you spin with your hands. Yeah. And like he makes a top and it's really great. It spins for like five

minutes and you're like, damn, and he's like, we could do better. And then he like changes the design and changes that he adds the mass changes the fly and changes that he adds the mass, changes the flywheel going on. At this point, the tip is tungsten and he's spinning his top for one hour, 17 minutes without it falling. Whoa.

And he's like, ah, the thing is the subsequent spins are one hour, nine minutes because the tungsten is driving into the steel. So we need to have a tungsten plate for the tungsten top to spin on. And he just, I don't know what his goal is, one hour and a half or something, but he spins it with his fingers

and it spins for an hour and 15 minutes. Why doesn't he use a string? It's self-imposed rules. I don't know. Okay. I just know that there are mechanisms that involve a string and a pull that you can really get those things zipping. You know how you spin a top and you let it go, right? Well, this thing, it's so stable,

he's able to get like four or five spins on it and spin it as like quicker than you would be able to on your first attempt. And obviously the top is a lot of mass. It's like heavy and metal and like so it takes a couple spins to get it going attempt. And obviously the top is a lot of mass. It's like heavy and metal and like, so it takes a couple spins to get it going quickly. And then he just lets the camera roll. Weird. I've been watching a little bit of chemistry YouTubers. Like, do you understand it all?

Nile Red, is that the one? I understand a little of it. Like what I'm really interested in is when they take like some common household thing and they derive or they purify one ingredient little of it. Like what I'm really interested in is when they take like some common household thing and they derive or they purify one ingredient out of it. All right, so we're gonna get some phosphorus. So let's start with this. And they end up getting it.

I think what he did was, what was he heating up? He put like, it doesn't matter. I find those interesting, all the chemical reactions and that stuff, I like those a lot. Especially when you'll like open a drawer of chemicals and like reach for the back when he's like, here's something you've probably never seen before. This is this would kill me if it were exposed to, I don't know, the air. I'm like, well, don't open it. Of course I have my respirator on. So and I'm like, oh, good.

It's like, is the name of the channel Nile Red? I don't know. I've watched a lot of that guy. I watch shorts for like an hour at a time sometimes. I melt into those things. I like them. I didn't feel like I was gifted at chemistry growing up but I was the only guy in my class selected to take it again next year. So I must have been better than I thought. Wow. Okay. Yeah. That's what that means.

Yeah. That's it. Yeah. I like those chemistry videos on occasion also, cause it just really reveals a whole nother part of life where it's like, man, you really don't know how any of this works. Oh yeah. Yeah.

I had to self-teach a any of this works. Oh yeah. Yeah. I had to self teach a bunch of chemistry for my reef tank. There's all sorts of like, what the fuck is alkalinity? Exactly. What does it really mean? You know, do you even know what pH is? You know, it's the scale of like acid to basic, but do you know what it is? That was the sophistication I understood it as a measure of like how many free hydrogen ions are in the water. That's what the H is. And, you know, so you start being like, well, how do we get fucking less or more hydrogen in there to increase the pH?

It's like, well, you got to get the carbon dioxide to combine with something else. And then and I could have said it to you a few months ago. I need to think it through. But yeah, I have the fish suffered at all during the Elden Ring champion run. No, no, you could argue the tank kind of has in that I'm not like regularly cleaning the glass every day. But the fish and corals do not share my sense of importance on how clean the glass is. We are doing the water changes on time. They're getting fed. They're getting like, they're being well treated. Just, you know, whatever. Yeah, I've been playing Helldivers and having so much fun. I love my fucking stream deck. It's like the best gaming accessory of all time having all the little stratagems

like the best gaming accessory of all time, having all the little stratagems like programmed in there. Like everybody else has to press the home key and then press like left, right, up, down, left, right, up, down to get to do each of these things like, uh, like Mortal Kombat or something. And I've just got these hot keyed in. I can just beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep,

beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep fun. Which game is that for? Helldivers. You feel like such a badass. You and three of your buddies are dropping down to planets and you fight either the bugs from Starship Troopers. You fight basically the Terminators from the Terminator movies or you fight the aliens that are basically the aliens from that Tom Cruise movie War of the Worlds. But they've also brought zombies with them that they've turned humans into zombies. So it recreates those kind of movie tropes

inside the satirical world of a very fascist, democratic super earth in the future. And there's tons of like tongue in cheek commercials where it's like, we'll get a message from the robots, people who it's like, we only want peace. Why are you invading our worlds? If we win, we won't destroy you. We won't take your home as you did to us. We will leave and rebuild what you destroyed. And then it goes, don't believe that propaganda. The bots want your children. They want your children for freedom's sake, for

liberty. We have for democracy. No, I'm team human there. They're being magnanimous. We're liars. We're evil. We're the bad guys. They're being magnanimous in the same way like I would be fighting an elephant. Oh, I choose not. I choose to leave if the elephant storms into my village. No, no leave because I can't compete the robots suck and they shouldn't exist. We weren't we're invading their planets anyway, the the bugs blood is oil in this universe, so like Pretty on the nose pretty on the nose with the bugs. Oh I'm like are they susceptible to fire because I'm Elden ring are

Okay I'm like, are they susceptible to fire? Cause I'm Elden rain. Okay. Um, dude, it's, it's so much fun. Cause the players are always like, Hey, have a big cup of Liberty. Easy. Like dim it play like a capitalist, democratic American. Basically we all wear capes in the beginning. There's a tutorial that lasts 30 seconds. And you're like, Whoa, I don't think I, even if it's a video game and you're like, I feel a little unprepared. Hang on a minute. Like you can imagine if it was a military training, you'd be like, whoa, whoa, you're giving me the gun now. Oh God, it's loaded. Oh, like after 30 seconds of training, they give you a goddamn cake.

They're like, yeah, when we played together, I did the tutorial and I liked how encouraging the propaganda announcements were where it'd be like, now, heroically slaughter this demon. And it's like a bug chained to a radiator. And then you do it. And it's like, now that's the sort of heroism we're looking for. And you're right. They just give you a gun and then they send out there. And I'm like, man, usually tutorials teach you the buttons. There's so much teamwork like, like you and your, and there's so much like, you get to recreate those moments where you give your life for all your buddies, like over and over. There's tons of, you've got like 20 lives, uh,

spread across the team of four, even on the hardest difficulty. So you're just getting swarmed with bugs and you can run in and nuke yourself and all the bugs and save everybody Or you can do all sorts of diving half-ass grabs and like crawl away from the bugs. It's so fun That's is this that I was to you. Yeah, little divers. Oh hell divers, too Yeah, it's real fun. It's hard to find a tip. I just want to see this like the intro But it's hard to see that they're all tips and tricks videos. Yeah, I want to see. I want this experience of I got it. It was fun when I played it,

but I also didn't play enough to really get a vibe like it was mostly Kyle. And I want to say scum kind of carrying this one like like play that searching for things. I think you were playing with like real life friends a lot, Taylor. And you know, we'll come back to the ship. Oh, maybe that's a company. Yeah. Waiting.

It was. That's a very fun social game. You can play it, Zach. It's the it's just the it's a YouTube trailer. I mean, it's a trailer. Yeah, let's let's watch and it's OK. Yeah. This is like the first trailer they made for the game. watch and it's okay. Yeah. This is like the first trailer they made for the game.

Louder, please. Super Earth our home. Prosperity. Liberty. Hi there. Liberty. Hi there. Democracy. Our way of life. Hello.

Soldiers patrolling the street. Look familiar? With liberty! Nooooooo! Look familiar? Scenes like these are happening all over the galaxy right now. You could be next. That is, unless you make the most important decision of your life. Prove to yourself that you have the strength and the courage to be free. Join the hell divers. Become part of an elite peacekeeping force.

They're just spreading the peace like wild. And spread managed democracy throughout the galaxy. Come on, I hear all of the high five. Because you can do in game. Become a hell. All these places actually. Do you think humans look sick? Oh, we're up again is great. We're evil. We're terrible people.

Like sometimes you'll see the bugs begging and stuff. It's awful. Wah. No, they shouldn't be bugs if they want to be, if they want to live. You guys ready to rap? Yes, I got to hit the road. Yep. Yep. Yep. All right.

PKN 540. John Jones is not good at fighting.