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BKN 545 sup boys. How's it going? How's it going?
Oh, doing good. I had like the worst fall on snow in like 10 years, two days ago.
Please tell me you didn't redent the heiny.
No, I fucked my arm up.
Oh, can I see it again? So what were you wearing? Nothing. That's why I got, so basically there was a mound
of frozen snow in my front yard.
My girlfriend was coming back from the grocery store
and my garage door was on the fritz.
And so I was like tinkering with it
but I had to open it manually that time.
And she texted me while I was in here playing
age of empires.
And she was like, will you open the garage for me
so I can bring the groceries in?
And so I'm like barefoot in like a tank top and sweatpants.
And I'm like about to run outside and do this quickly
so I can get back to my game.
It's an online game, I can't pause it.
And I like stop and I'm like, I can put my shoes on,
but that's like an extra 20 seconds.
You know, I'm gonna put flip-flops on.
And so I put flip-flops on and then I walked out into my front yard to kind of
cross over my flower bed, which is still because of the direction of my house,
just solid ice. And it's worse than ice. If you live in a cold climate, you know,
this it's better to fall on like ice, like an ice rink than it is to fall on
frozen snow because it retains all the rigidity and the grittiness.
And if it's truly frozen through, it's just as hard as ice,
but now it's like sandpaper.
And I got like two steps in my flip flops onto the ice
and I just, woo, like a cartoon fall
where my only thought was like,
don't get a head injury from this, you idiot.
And so I threw my left elbow back.
On your back you landed, onto your elbows? On my left side, you idiot. And so I threw my left elbow back on your back, you landed on your elbow
on my side on my left side, I didn't catch the right one at
all. All of it hit my my left elbow. And it was a bit of a
mound of frozen snow that had been placed there by like the
wind over time blowing it and then solid like it didn't it did
not give an iota for my entire body falling on it. And I hit
it and then slid down the side of the little mound
and my girlfriend opens the door to the car
and she's like laughing and I'm in my head, I'm like,
ooh, it hurts so much.
And then I like stood up, you got the garage door open
and I go back inside and there's like blood
all over my forearm.
And so I go,
I immediately take a shower, rinse it off. I noticed there's like a giant scrape, but there's
a chunk at the bottom near my elbow where there's like a size bigger than a quarter of skin totally
removed. Like there's no skin there at all. And so I had to like find some, I had to rummage around
because I wasn't going to go to CVS and get supplies before dinner. I was going to eat dinner first and then go and it I checked that I wrapped it up
with some I got I have real supplies now this is a real bandage a non-stick bandage because of how
bad it is and I went and I looked out the front door and right now like I checked earlier today
you can see a line of where my my flesh was left on the mound like you can see a path of skin that was torn off
It was so bad. If you leave
Flesh outside the zombies come. Yes
And it's in its fresh. It's preserved. It's cold
Yeah, I'm gonna have a fucking so much
Scar on my elbow because it's like the skin is gone.
Like I just like cleaned it again.
Take a minute to heal too.
Like if there's that much flesh to regrow takes time.
That's such a pain in the ass.
Sometimes I forget you're not 16 anymore, but you're not.
There is a healing gap between like 16 year old Taylor and current Taylor.
Yeah. No, that's definitely true.
If you get on some juice, you'd heal like Wolverine.
Oh.
Well, I was like Googling because I was like, you know, looking up pictures of wounds healing
correctly versus not healing correctly. And I was just in my own head paranoid. It looks
totally fine. But you're right. Like I'm now I'm to the phase where I'm not worried about
it. I'm just really pissed at myself for being retarded
and knowing that like on my elbow,
that's gonna get ripped open by any sort
of upper body movement that I'm doing.
And so I'm like, I'm gonna be doing the cardio bike,
which is probably for the best,
but for like the next couple of weeks,
I can't comfortably lift.
Can you show us exactly where it is again?
There's a giant missing piece here and then there's
a stripe up here that's not as bad. That part of your body, I have experience with injuries there
also. You don't realize how often you hit things with that part of you until you set it down on
every table. It's part of every meal. It gets bumped unintentionally. Like you know, and you will continue to know for a
couple of weeks just how often that part of your body hits me. Oh dude, five minutes ago I was like
getting out of the shower. I was like gingerly like trying to be responsible. Like I'm going to
soap it up. I'm going to get it nice and clean the residue off or whatever every day. Get it nice.
And then I'm like, oh, PKN starting and it's a hangout night. And so I like fast walk into my other master bathroom to put deodorant on,
slam it into the side of my dresser. I'm like, son of a bitch.
Just need one of those floaties, you know, like a,
when you can't swim the kids wear a little floaty on there. When I, uh,
when my foot was fucked up having to take those showers with a bag on my foot,
um, sometimes the water would get in the bag
and when I got out of the shower,
there'd be this big bag full of water on my foot.
But you gotta understand, there's multiple bags on my foot.
So it's like one of the outer bags.
I thought literally like, what are we doing here?
No, no, no, no, it's just old water.
Why don't you just put your foot in a bucket
and take a shower?
I keep old grocery bags bags like in a drawer.
And so I would put one on, put a rubber band over that,
put another one on, rubber band that,
and put like four layers on my foot
and then hop in the shower.
But immediately I can feel the first layer failing
and I'm like, oh, we don't have much time here.
Yeah, it sucks when you,
any kind of injury that you're trying to to heal up from with a shower because
Like scabs will get like melty in the shower and lose all integrity and then you'll bump something and rip the whole fucking scab off
It's super gross. Yeah, and it's like well fuck
I'm just knocked a week onto the time like it needs to recover again now for people who audio only Taylor is hurt
By his elbow on his forearm,
the part where there's not much hair.
Yeah, he's missing everything like below the wrist.
I bought the biggest nonstick,
I'm missing everything.
I'm gonna get a dope hook.
Oh, okay.
That'd be sick.
There was an old ONA clip where Patrice or Jimmy,
it was when he died, where Jimmy was like, Patrice was so good, you know, his last special elephant
in the room. That was exactly what he was like.
I remember at the Comedy Cellar, we saw this guy missing a hand
and he was introducing himself to all the comics and it was his left hand.
So we were able to shake his hand normally.
And nobody said anything.
And Patrice, he had one of those like pincer claws
that you can use to like pick
up things or like smoke a cigarette with. And he said Patrice went over there and put out his left
hand to shake his hand and the guy like not even just second nature stuck his metal hand out and
he says Patrice used his giant hand to gingerly shake one of the metal pieces he just said, he goes, how'd you lose your hand, man?
Tell them a story about RIP.
I've been listening to more Patrice clips recently and it's damn shame.
He's so funny.
Tell your games a little high.
He brought it on himself.
I have to keep changing.
He brought it on himself.
Football game was great.
Chiefs win.
Chiefs go to the super bowl.
Eagles, of course.
Eagles versus chiefs again. Wasn't hard to pick.
Kyle picked it.
He knew it weeks ago.
He needed to watch the playoffs.
He told you right here.
I was wrong that the Lions didn't make it
to the divisional championship or whatever,
but they lost her.
But yeah, I'm psyched.
You guys are gonna, by the way.
Eagles are going to win.
Eagles are going to win.
I wasn't sure who we were talking to at this point.
Yeah, that's the fun part.
We're both losing apparently, Taylor. We're fucked.
Tread lightly because we're invested.
I'm invested. I really do want your boy to win that third Super Bowl.
I stopped watching the Chiefs game at halftime.
Travis Felsing.
How could you stop at halftime?
It wasn't decided yet.
It was a good game.
I just went to dinner.
I want the birds to win.
But if Travis if Travis won another Super Bowl and retired on top, that'd be pretty
legendary.
No, it'd be pretty cool.
Oh, he's not done yet.
Yeah, he's got more to win.
I want a Super Bowl and I'm Travis Kelsey looking at.
Oh, Kelsey. Yeah Yeah sure. Oh, yeah
Yeah, but homes were on the same page, but Travis Kelsey
Yeah, if he wins another Super Bowl and then retires on top and just starts banging Taylor Swift is a you know retirement
activity
Could do worse. I'm only staying with Taylor Swift. It's in my movie career is established
If I'm trying to using her for your movie career?
Okay. He likes black girls. He doesn't want Taylor Swift. He's dated a voluptuous,
beautiful black woman his whole life and now he's got this stick figure 35-year-old white woman.
Please. Please.
Please. Please. Yeah, but she's the most famous 35-year-old white woman on her.
There you go. There you go. Exactly.
So how long did that last?
So who's more famous than Taylor Swift in music?
Oh, music.
Famous is weird.
Famous is weird, right?
Cause like I might say Paul McCartney.
Yeah. Or you'd like pick some guy who's unbelievably famous
in India or China and just get total numbers.
I didn't think of that.
But like Western world.
And I would like to think that like most of India and China,
like they know who Taylor Swift is.
Or sometimes there's a Spanish singer
that I've never heard of who's the, you know,
selling the most something or other.
Drake.
That's probably her.
Drake's up there.
Yeah.
That's probably her.
Maybe if I had said who's the most relevant
like English person, speaking musician. I think it probably her. Maybe if I had said who's the most relevant like English speaking musician.
I think it's her.
And you said Drake, which is a good call,
but hasn't he fallen off?
Didn't like Kendrick take his career?
Kendrick could be Super Bowl singing, not like us,
but just hilarious.
I saw like a Swifty fan account post on Twitter
that was like, celebration time gals,
Taylor Swift is only 10 billion
Spotify plays before she passes
Drake as the number one most
streamed artist all time on
Spotify and I was like 10 billion.
Taylor Swift is 10 billion behind anyone.
Drake must be more famous than I know.
Cuz I just don't know the
the music world thoroughly.
I would have been like Beyonce.
How many billion, like I'm only 10 billion views from FPS Russia.
Yeah.
I don't know what those metrics mean.
I think that, I think when you look at her, her like world tour and how
successful that was, uh, I don't think there's many people who compare.
There are people that compare, but I don't think there are many.
Um, she's, she's definitely the most famous. We talked about how Donald Trump is the most powerful man who's ever existed.
It's like, yeah, fuck, yeah.
No.
Yeah.
Oh, I'll just give that title to the current president.
Yeah, absolutely.
Relative power?
He didn't say that.
Because Trump would smash Genghis Khan.
That guy had no nukes.
Yeah.
Destroy him.
Right.
Yeah.
Relative power to their age though.
You would have to go like, like Hadrian or like one of the Roman
emperors or one of the Chinese emperors, someone who had unilateral
control of a huge swath of the known world, like, because there was no pushing back on them. Like our president.
That's silly. That's silly. They were, they had that power in name only.
Like if, if the emperor of Rome wanted to cause some change on the other side of
his empire, it might take months to just get the message there that, Hey,
we're wearing the red togas now. Yeah, the red ones.
And then you might have to fight over it, but trump can say
Uh, everyone in the irs all 85 000 of you to the border and don't show up for work tomorrow and they just do
And and if he wants to he can push a button and a missile will hit the moon
I mean you can shoot the moon
That's why you have to like think of it in terms of relative power because otherwise the most powerful man is just the leader
Of whatever country in the modern era and I know that Trump is currently kind of ignoring some democracy things, but that doesn't last.
I don't know. I think Trump is... Forget Trump. The American president is more handcuffed by
all our rules and laws than some people remember. Yeah. If a Roman emperor, if Trajan or Hadrian
had to abide by all the red tape
that Obama or Biden or Trump had to,
they would be like, what the fuck?
Am I even leading this, this empire?
Like birthright citizenship, that's not going anywhere.
It's written very clearly as part of the constitution.
They're not going to change that it's a show for his voters,
a show that his voters will appreciate.
But it's in the Constitution,
it's very clear. So that's the kind of thing that the person can't change.
I mean, the Constitution?
I think you need three quarters of the states to vote in your direction.
Or what if the Supreme Court interprets the Constitution differently than everyone else?
Yeah, I mean, you never know with the Supreme Court, but it's pretty clear.
There's a little addendum in it that's
like, and those subject to the jurisdiction they're in that I've seen people make it
to do about where they're like, well, an illegal is not subject to the jurisdiction
of the US, and so they're not a part of the birthright citizenship thing.
But regardless, I don't know.
I'm not a legal expert.
We'll see what the Supreme Court does. I'll stand by whatever the disorder, because, I don't know. I'm not a legal expert. We'll see. Bring cordless. I'll stand by whatever the disorder because I just don't because we have
to. Yeah, because you have to. That's the law. I've enjoyed the roundup of the illegals,
all the ICE raids. I've watched a live stream an hour long yesterday while I like cleaned
the house and it was just them building the wall. It was just a live stream of them building
the wall. Who was building it?
The US government or like?
Yeah, US government, hard hat wearing fellows
with big machinery.
And they're putting in those giant wall sections.
They go really deep into the ground
and there's concrete under the ground
and there's listing devices and stuff.
It looked expensive.
I'd like it to be prettier.
No, you don't wanna paint that thing.
I like the rust.
I like the rusty look.
You know, you don't think it would be a little prettier.
What I want is too expensive.
I want it to look more castle-like
and there should be columns that are gorgeous
every so often, but I also don't want to pay
a trillion for it.
And someone did the math that a wall going across
the whole border would like,
humanity doesn't have enough concrete
to do what
I'm talking about. So that's not a thing. I'm sorry.
Yeah. We could make a wall across our whole board.
That was a good like 10 feet thick and it goes across the entire Mexican border.
Oh, you mean our, our beautiful wall.
And this is my beautiful.
You know about Hoover dam, the width of the country.
Yeah, the Hoover dam.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like a Hoover's a little extra, but we're on the same page now, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is something that's gorgeous.
We can't do that.
But it's what I want, but it's free.
Yes.
Well, wait.
Brape brain.
Mexico pays for it.
Mexico pays for it.
How about some nice Corinthian columns keeping people out?
Ooh, beautiful.
Oh, oh, oh, and here's a Trump touch.
A little gold decorative details.
If Trump's in charge, it's gonna have what I would say
is a little too much gold.
Like a little, it's gonna be gauche, it's gonna be gaudy.
It turns out gauche and gaudy is my style too.
Bordercross has 600 a day now from 5,000 a day in its peak last year.
600 a day.
They're all psyched.
It's great.
I love watching the roundup.
I was telling Taylor before we kicked off, they go state by state.
They're like, in Atlanta, they found this child molesting ghoul, and they show him dragging
him out of his house.
And he's wanted in El Salvador for double murder of babies.
And here is the old woman eater of Portland, Oregon.
He's wanted in Honduras for eating old women.
And like state by state,
they're showing the worst of the worst they've found.
St. Paul, Minnesota, you're a little bit safer tonight.
They found several ghouls and goblins
that were living there.
Dude, we've known where these people are.
The government has known for years
and they have done nothing.
Other addresses.
I'm always on like high propaganda alert, you know,
like what's true, what's true?
Is it really more?
I wanna see the, like, there'll be statistics
about how the month of January went
in maybe the start of March.
I'm not sure, like something like that.
And I look forward to comparing like January to December,
you know, like see what kind of changes they really made.
Is it just now we brought,
I really want to do how many ice raids and deportations
there are.
Cause it's nothing new to take these people back.
They've been taking these people back the whole way through.
Now there's just cameras and a show made of it So I mean dr. Phil's riding along now
Exactly. That's my point. It's propagandized now. Whereas before the ice raids aren't new
Have they stepped it up? They set it up. I wouldn't be surprised. It's definitely a step up
We'll be surprised leaving the border, you know for sure a hundred percent that it's like a tenfold increase like it's
It's a tenfold increase and we've seen the numbers. It's a 10 fold increase in like ice rates.
It's a thousand a day they're capturing right now.
Every day it's more.
Rookie numbers, I wanna see those jacked up.
I wanna see those fucking.
They give numbers daily.
What were the numbers under Biden?
I have no idea what the numbers under Biden was.
Oh, we know that they're 10 times higher.
You see where I'm coming from?
I look forward to the numbers.
There's 10 times more rates. Well, they have to be. Like you heard the people
in our Discord, they're like, yeah, they're rating up and down our block. Yeah, they're all over the
place. We're seeing them in our communities going in. People aren't showing up to job sites. Like,
they went into the restaurants in New Jersey and pulled the cooks out. Yeah. Like, yes.
And now, there's going to be a big difference in like just the total
number of people coming to Kyle's point. Like it's down to six hundred a day. Ten percent of the
people who are coming over I think are coming over now. Would they separated them from the kids?
That kind of deterrent stuff makes fewer people cross the border. It's obvious. So the new thing
today, the new amount announcement I heard this congressman was saying, under the Biden administration, they didn't want to DNA test minors who are accompanied with adults
to make sure that they were parents because it took too long. She's like, so I looked into it.
How long does it take? 45 minutes. It takes 45 minutes. So we're putting that kind of time.
So we're re-instituting that. Dude, there's a myriad in Cleveland already paid for by taxpayers
that didn't need to get to.
She gave a number, I don't remember what it was.
It may have been 300,000 minors who have come in
across the border accompanied by an adult.
She's like, so we have no idea
where these 300,000 children are
or who they're actually with
because we didn't DNA test any of them.
So we're bringing that back in.
It was just like one thing after another.
I like the problem-
I'd like to hear the Democrats explain themselves.
Sure.
Or defend themselves, maybe a better term like really the time 45 minutes. I'm
sorry to interrupt you, Kyle. I wanted to hit it back on your point.
Like, well, obviously they didn't do everything right,
right? Even a moron like me can see they didn't do everything right.
So, like, why did you do these things wrong? What was your thought process on
this?
I don't know.
Yeah, I love all of the executive orders he's signing.
I love the shit with Columbia.
Nothing has happened yet that I dislike,
like under the Trump regime, as I'll call it,
or at least nothing.
Even how he's handled Ukraine, it's like, oh, thank God.
Thank God, this is good.
I have nothing, I have no negatives from the Trump regime.
Did you see the I was a big fan of like, dramatically lowering foreign aid. But did you see the little the little
addendum in Egypt and Israel need theirs? We're not cutting a bitty off for them. They can have a suckle.
Zach put numbers on immigrant removals. So Obama removed 432,000 immigrants in 2013.
432,000. Trump's best year was 347,000. Biden's best year was 329,000. So Biden less than, but almost Trump and Trump not even close to Obama.
Yeah.
Well, Trump floundered entirely on the mass deportation shit in his first campaign.
It was like a promise to his voters and then nothing done.
And then I'm also curious, like, I remember we discussed this years ago, but Obama under
that administration, they
changed how they classify deportations to where turning someone away at the border counted.
Whereas previous to that, I believe it was you took someone from internal and then
then kicked them out. Obama deported a lot of people. I've heard you call them the border in chief.
Obama smoked Trump. Obama's worst years are about Trump's best years.
smoke Trump. Like Obama's worst years are about Trump's best years.
I hope we, I hope we see a crazy, I hope this is one of those graphs where Trump's numbers start coming in and all
these ones are little tiddly winks.
Zoom out like when you compare like different star sizes, you know,
when they compare Beetlejuice to the size of our star and it's just a very
magnitude. Um, I, I, I envisioned this to be a ridiculous year.
They better get half a million out this year or 750,000
or a million or something. They got to do more than that. They're not even like the people that
came in under Biden. It seems like what they're doing is they're using whatever data they're
drawing upon to get anyone with records and with active criminal warrants. And then if there's
someone accompanying them, like if they come there to get Woody, but I'm next to him, they'll take me too if I don't have papers. Like it doesn't matter
if I'm a criminal or not. If I'm illegal, that's my crime. If you're illegal, you are a criminal.
I saw that they kept trying to minimize that Venezuelan game, Tren de Anagua or whatever
it's called in Aurora, Colorado that was taking over the apartment complexes
There's that video of them like four guys with with guns kicking doors in and shit
And I still see like the mayor of that community begging for help. She's like really they're lying to you. They're lying to you
We need your help. It's that she's like it's like the beginning of Star Wars where it's like you're the only one that can save us
Obi-Wan.
Well, I bet she's going to get some help if she keeps that up.
Apparently there was a nightclub that had 50 or 70 Trinidad and Naga members in it. It was their nightclub that they ran.
And they raided that and arrested them all. So it was like 50 or 70 arrests in one stop. I was like,
how do they have their own nightclub?
I love the Trump leaning on the guy from Columbia is so great. It is too long of us being pulled
in by countries that we can just tell what to do. And they're like, we're not gonna accept these people back.
And it's like, no shit,
none of these South American countries want their people back.
That wasn't the problem.
They turned away to flights and Trump was like, fuck it.
They didn't like United States military planes
and they didn't like them handcuffed.
They always took them back.
It fucked.
Well, Trump agreed not to use military planes or handcuffs, so he sort of out-towed to what
they wanted.
Yeah, Trump's the one.
And he's doing it the way they prefer.
No handcuffs, no military.
As long as they get out of here.
That's what they did before Trump.
So I feel like Trump painted his like, that fucker back down as soon as I agreed to his
terms.
And it's like, all right, have your truth.
And that's political. He right, have your truth. And that's political. Well, he did send his own plane.
He did send his plane though.
And like, who do you think you are, Columbia?
It's not, come on, come on.
Yeah.
Come on.
Although I saw this.
You're gonna threaten to tear us Columbia?
You're a third of your exports and you're nothing to us.
Get real.
I think though, most sovereign countries
do get to set their own rules
about whether your military operates there.
And that was the kind of objection that they had.
I mean, none of these countries want their illegals back.
They'll take them if we lean on it,
but like it's a huge business.
They always took their illegals back.
They just objected to the handcuffs and military planes.
I think they're probably objecting also
to the amount of increase they're gonna see
because like it needs to be understood
that like Columbia, Honduras, Mexico,
these countries want people in our country, in our economy
because they make tens of billions of dollars a year
on remittances, tens of billions, three percent.
I don't think I know what remittances is.
Remittances is. Is reverse tourism.
You come to the US, you take a job from an American, and then you send money back to
your home country instead of spending it here.
3% of Columbia's GDP is remittances.
And that sort of percentage is seen all throughout South America.
They want their little reverse tourists here using our economy and backfeeding them.
And it's like, no, get fucked.
No, no, no, you should not be able to do that.
We're our own country.
We have our own right to determination.
I hate that too.
I'll just be super fast.
When they earn the money here and send it back home,
I always thought like, bro,
we're opening up our doors to you to be American,
but your loyalty is not to America
and that feels yucky to me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's not what you do if you're trying to be a part of a country.
That's what you do if you opportunistically, you know, seize the opportunity.
The left has been taking L after L on controlling the narrative and getting their story across.
They always do.
And like the thing that Woody just said, that's the truth.
And I knew that was the truth too.
It's what I was going to say, that Trump's the one that buckled.
The left cannot get that story out
and they won't get it out.
And so the truth now is that the big,
the headline on Fox News, they had that big,
it's not even a headline, it's like a gigantic screen
behind the person who's talking.
In the middle of it, it was like how many people
he had caught that day.
And it said something like, big stick diplomacy wins. And it was like Trump, like yeah had caught that day. And it said something like big stick diplomacy wins.
And it was like Trump, like yeah, with the big stick.
And then the other one was,
it was how many they had captured on either side
of the board was that picture of that black Haitian screaming.
The one who shrank Obama.
Spittle coming out, looking like a fork.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank you Obama!
I'm going to mess up his name.
Is it Goebbels? Goebbels?
Goebbels? Couldn't have done it better.
That guy wrote a fucking
propaganda video for the
Republican party. If he would have seen that, he'd be like
Ah, this is a little on the nose.
I wish I could do nose. That's great. It's beautiful.
He's crazy.
You haven't seen that video.
Anyone who's listened to God finding it.
They've caught a Haitian and he's in the police car and he's hanging out the window and he's
screaming like, you can't take, I'm not going back to Haiti.
Thank you Obama for everything you gave me.
Thank you.
Thank you Joe Biden.
Thank you Joe Biden. Fuck you, Trump you, Joe Biden. Thank you, Joe Biden.
Fuck you, Trump, I'm not going back to Haiti. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, left is like, aha, your coffee is going to be expensive.
It's like, you've already lost.
You've already lost.
You've already lost.
Why is that your argument here?
That you're going to turn Colombia into coffee import solely
and act like we're going to have a trade war
that lasts months and are all over.
Oh yeah, coffee these days is so expensive
because Colombia is hanging tough with us.
Even though it's 28 billion of their economy
just disappeared.
No, they're going to, like, I know Trump may have said,
yeah, don't handcuff them, let's do this.
But I feel like they hung tough.
Columbia's not gonna let their economy be crushed.
They're not gonna let their economy be crushed.
And the dunces on Fox News were like, just so you know, we make
some pretty dang good coffee in Kona, Hawaii, or wherever it is. And I was like, do you?
Google? They make 1.9 million pounds of coffee in Hawaii, Taylor. It's, it doesn't sound
like a lot. Well, you know how much Columbia makes a year? Almost exactly 1000 times as much. 19 billion. Yeah. Isn't coffee
like the thing for Columbia, Honduras, Brazil? Brazil makes like 60 billion pounds a year,
like three times more than Columbia and on and on and on. They love making uppers down there.
They're good at it. I guess that high
altitude mountainous environment, that rich soil is just great for it. I wish we were still on the
coca. I feel like a little coca would be good for us. They'll chew the leaves down there and just
get a little- Have you ever done that? Cocaine? No, chewing the leaves. No, I've never seen a leaf.
You wouldn't see a leaf in America
You got ripped off if you buy a bag and you see a leaf in it
Yeah, my friend sourced it for our hike in the John Muir Trail
it's a thing that they do to help with altitude sickness and
I tried it and felt
Absolutely nothing, but I said that about Adderall too, so maybe I'm just not sensitive to the effect.
Weird.
Did it taste weird?
No, like every other leaf.
It would have numbed your mouth.
If it were real, it would numb your mouth.
And they say it helps with altitude.
It would have been like an anesthetic.
It would have been like chewing something
that had that mouth numbing gel in it
or Novacaine or something, lidocaine.
I know Coca-Cola company still makes
three million dollars worth of cocaine a year for the pharmaceutical industry. What? I didn't know
that. Yeah, I think it's three million. It could be three billion, but three million sounds more
correct. Yeah, three billion seems like Warren Buffett drug dealer. Yeah, that's crazy. I didn't
know they were still in the cocaine game. Maybe'll be something to do that bring through came back into coke really get this company this country
You know at last JFK's promise to make us all skinny will work
You're all gonna be excited about it
Like I can you just like can you sign into someone's hand and they can talk for you, please
You just like, can you sign into someone's hand and they can talk for you? Please, please.
So I can just someone's hand, Ellen Keller's style.
Oh, I'm glad you said that as well as this.
Oh, did you?
So today was the white house's first press, uh, conference or whatever
with the new, the new person.
She's great.
She's 27 year old blonde girl, but it's like a spitfire.
She brought no notes.
She knows everybody's name.
Somehow she's calling on everybody. She's people are going like, I've never been called no notes. She knows everybody's name somehow. She's calling on everybody.
People are going like,
I've never been called on before, thank you so much.
Like really.
She's like, you in the back row,
you over here to the left.
She's like, oh, and by the way, this front row here,
it's no longer for, it used to be special people
or something, I don't know, but very-
It was like seniority based, yeah.
Yeah.
Now this is for new media people only.
So if anyone wants to apply, any podcaster, influencer,
new media person who wants to cover
the Trump White House and global politics,
you can apply to be right here,
as long as you can pass the White House security.
And I was like, shit!
Yeah.
Step one, we get you a pardon.
Step two, we got you-
That's not a good photo of her,
but she looks cuter than that.
I'm sorry, I went too fast.
Nah, she did.
I'd like her to look at it.
Now you say it's not a good photo,
but she's good enough.
She's good enough.
And that's something that I wish,
Trump does right that I wish the Democrats did right.
The last one that she was a pretty good looking black woman,
she was okay.
But sometimes they put a person up front and center
to kind of represent what you're doing.
And it's like, Democrats, please
give us something to look at here.
Like don't put an ugly person to represent your stuff.
Every restaurant knows that that chick who walks you
to your table is supposed to be hot.
Every receptionist is up.
This is the face of your firm.
Make it an attractive one.
And as I'm going through this Sarah Huckabee, she was fugly and she was even worse before.
Well, that's a special circumstance here where Michael is a little mother.
Yeah. Yeah, there's some nepotism involved.
Sure. But she's still an ugly bitch who represented the Trump administration. So they don't get it all right. This, you know,
it could be better, could be a lot worse. You watch News Nation at all?
You're so right about the Democrats like not putting forward attractive people enough,
because there's like that famous picture of like the Chicago LGBT Democrat caucus or some shit
like that. And they're like all standing in front of a podium.
And it legitimately looks like Batman villains.
They've got like absurdly oversized suits
and green hair and nose rings.
And it's like, who saw this?
Like who saw this optic on the inside
and wasn't like, hey guys, let's reevaluate.
Let's put our best foot forward here.
Oh, there's a, wow Kyle, these people are all attractive. That's my life. That's look, that's on
a, I watched news nation on a, on YouTube. I, Chris Cuomo is there somehow. I guess they hired him.
And her all the, Oh yeah. He's shaved the mustache off. It looks weird, but they have, sometimes I
look up from like whatever I'm doing and I'm like, Holy shit, that is a gorgeous woman. They have, sometimes I look up from whatever I'm doing and I'm like, holy shit, that is a gorgeous woman they have up there.
She's nasty given the news.
Dude, Elina Shirazi, about halfway down the beach.
These fucking ghouls, goblins.
These are not, oh God, I'm so glad this is over for now.
Which column is she in, Taylor?
She is in the second column about-
Okay. Oh yeah....backing me down. Yeah, she's a very... What is this?
She's super pretty, but I mean, she doesn't jump out at me as more pretty than these other
pretty people. There's a lot, like... Yeah, there's a lot. Sarah is all...
Can you show my rings back? Just like scroll through the pretty people at News Nature.
Yeah. And I could go in the other direction with MSNBC. They have two overweight, fat,
that's redundant, black women on there, Joy Reid and
somebody else. Yeah. I'm like, this is costing you elections, blue team. What are you doing?
Like every time Joy Reid is on screen, it helps the right. You win a popularity contest. You put
these guys as, I think it's Nicole Bertie there. She had on something crazy today with her titties
everywhere. Hell yeah. What is News Nation a TV network?
Is it an online network?
What is it?
My understanding is it's an online network
that's invested in people who were traditionally
from other, Cuomo and Geraldo, obviously old school media.
But I watch it on Fox, I mean on YouTube.
I just see like News Nation, like, okay,
let's see what they get. It's far right, it's far right.
I guess by the people, the way they look, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's 100% far right.
I watch that and I watch Fox News on YouTube
and then I go over to CNN on Max.
And I swear to God, it's different realities.
It's different realities.
Like I would be depressed if I watched CNN all day.
I'd feel like, God, the world's in such a bad place.
Yeah, I feel like CNN gives the right more credit
than people say it does.
Like Scott Jennings on there
is always arguing the right side.
And if you don't go on him, you never invited back.
Yeah, I didn't know anything about that.
I only see close from. Yeah, Tim Conway dunked on Scott Jennings.
Never came back.
Some other girl did it, too.
Never like they just you're banned from CNN.
If you smack around their right wing guy, they're probably trying to coax
some Fox News, which it seems like an effort in futility.
But like they're probably trying to
pull some of that over there. But I just want to see the continued collapse of all these networks.
Fox is having their little time in the sun, but it's going to happen. You want to talk about some
shit that would never happen under the, I'll tell you this, what's, this is what actually is great
about Trump. And I wish that every president forever would be so open with the media and so
quick to say, to just sit down
and start answering questions.
He gives like five news conferences a day.
If he's golfing and there's a camera,
he'll answer questions about Israel, Pakistan,
the economy, the next share percentage
that he's thinking of on Italy.
He'll just spill the beans right there
and tell you what's going on.
When he went to North Carolina
and had all those poor crackers that had lost their homes and a line behind them and one after another,
each one of them took his podium while he stood and watched them and they were like,
oh, the storm came and took our cabin and washed it away and grandpappy went with it
and the dogs and the cats and trapped, that terrible, that's terrible.
And FEMA's done nothing.
Nothing, not a damn thing, it's terrible, terrible.
You're my president, sir.
This man right here is my president.
This happened, I'm not making any-
And then Trump froze all their money.
That's the second part of the story.
He's not all that FEMA aide
that was coming in the North Carolina.
Like he cut all that. It's gone. Right. Well, it's frozen. It's frozen. It's probably not
gone.
I'm not sure about that in particular. I know they froze a ton of funds. There was a long
list of things.
North Carolina is suing Trump for it now because he froze the-
Oh, those posies.
What are they doing with FEMA? They're pushing it back to the states or that's what they're
planning?
Well, he's talking about doing that. But what they've actually done is Trump has stopped what every contractor something from being paid
Do you have more details than a cow frozen like like grants?
Yeah federal like like grant money all federal all foreign aid like you said except for Egypt and Israel
Disaster a shut down
Everything but I don't know if you saw his press conference. So then he left, North Carolina Egypt and Israel. Disaster aid. He shut down everything.
But I don't know if you saw his press conference.
So then he left North Carolina.
The reason he stopped in North Carolina, of course,
is because they voted for him.
And he felt like he used that in the campaign.
Like Biden's not taking care of North Carolina.
FEMA's not taking care of North Carolina.
He was hammering that home in an effort
to win the state, I'm sure.
And maybe it's partially true. But he stops there and then he goes to the L.A.
fires and he's got the L.A. mayor sitting over there.
And some guy was like, yeah, we're looking at a number of things.
When you see the proposal for the amount of money that we're requesting,
just know that in there is some preventative measures
to keep this from happening again next year.
And Trump's like, like water, right?
Like water.
People like us, we know, common sense, right?
Water puts out fires.
That's it, it's very good at putting out fire.
And like-
I mean, he's onto something.
Fact check, true.
He was telling them, he's like,
and he's telling the mayor, he's like,
I've been talking to these people
whose houses got burnt up all day.
They wanna go in there right now
and start cleaning up what's the remnants of their life
so they can start construction.
And your people are telling them they can't go in there.
She's like, no, no, they can go, they can go.
No, no, no, they don't wanna wait for some contract
from the city for some person
that's gonna charge them $25,000.
They wanna go in with their trucks and their shovels
and start cleaning their homes
up now." And she's like, maybe in a week. He's like, a week is too long. And they took her mic.
So I'm like, like, twisted the mic away from her.
So he took it away, like drug it away. And she just goes, I guess I won't have a microphone now.
Wow, I really must be beefing this up. My assistant take my microphone.
Yeah, she was in Ghana and I wish someone would do an investigation in why black politicians
go to Ghana and what they're doing over there because I also know that the first BLM mayor
who's now going to prison for embezzling all that money, he spent a lot of it in his parties
in Ghana.
That's the first place he went once they elected him to represent them.
He was the guy you may have seen.
He's like in Walmart.
He's like, I am the Marquess, I'm the Marquess Morris.
And then like 12 other black people holding signs go,
I am the Marquess Morris.
We're in Walmart, by the way.
I am running for mayor of your city.
I am running for mayor of your city.
He's got a chorus repeating after him screaming at Walmart.
And this guy would be on the mayor's.
Trying to shop.
That is pretty dope.
I just wanted some socks.
I just tried to get my chicken.
Now it's like that's how I'm doing the show this week.
You remember people echoing for me.
It feels like at the end of Lion King, like when he kills Scar and then
inexplicably the whole earth heals, like the sun comes out and the flowers grow
anew and all the gazelle and zebra start coming back into the, the healed lands.
That's what it feels.
Yeah.
The Wilder beast, all of them.
I will say just some numbers.
Biden was a lot more popular at this stage than Trump is.
His approval was 65% and Trump's is like 54.
We don't count those numbers anymore.
This is it.
He has more approval than disapproval, which is new.
But Trump, Biden had way more approval than disapproval in his first few weeks.
So this, we'll see.
Trump's numbers are getting better every week, right?
Whereas I feel like Biden just got worse every week.
But so if Trump's trend continues,
well, I mean, obviously be the most popular president ever
if his trend continues.
But we'll see where this goes.
Yeah.
He said he may go for a third term, fourth term.
They're investigating ways to make that happen.
Yeah, right.
He's gonna be too old and that's not allowed.
If he's allowed, look, it used to be allowed. It's only not allowed because we decided it wasn't.
Okay. I guess 80 years ago it was allowed, but yeah. Is that, that's not in the constitution,
is it? Do they add it? No, 80, right? It was FDR.
FDR. FDR did four terms. He died in his fourth
That's crazy that he got four
He was beaten the Nazis and the Japs while in a wheelchair who we're gonna pick who we're gonna replace that guy with
Come on
He was the man. No, the 22nd big fan. Yeah, he was preparing the
Pussies didn't want to go Years in advance, he was getting us ready.
He was giving shit to, go ahead.
It limits the number of times
a person can be elected to two terms
and sets an additional conditions
for people who exceed unexpired terms of their president.
So it's pretty clear, you can only be elected twice.
It's a living document, as we always like to remind the people here in the Republic.
You do know how hard it is to change the Constitution.
Does it take three quarters of the states to change the Constitution?
Takes a lot.
Or maybe the Supreme Court reinterprets the Constitution and decides that Trump won last
time and therefore he's owed one. I doubt that's going to happen. When you bring out the Supreme Court, I'm always like, I never know.
They decided he can murder or you know.
Yeah, but what if Baltimore shows up?
Then what?
They decided the president could do anything without ramifications.
So I can't say they would never.
Judges are too powerful in our system.
They can hold referendums on things.
And I think in like 2008, California voted against
gay marriage in a referendum.
And then a circuit judge just went unconstitutional.
Nope.
And then that just undid all of it.
California went against gay marriage?
Is that what you said?
I believe so.
Yeah, it was like a huge avalanche of change,
the gay marriage thing.
Like it was not popular at all in like the aughts.
Yeah, Obama was against it.
And I don't think Obama was, his heart was against it.
I think his political career had to be against it.
So, and that whole story of like, you know, my children opened my eyes and now I'm for gay marriage was political convenience.
Did you see Trump's tweet about the California water? He said, under my orders, the US military has entered into the state of California to liberate the waters. We've turned the waters on, we've federalized the California water.
And I'm like, I don't think you can do that.
And I-
Yeah.
Trump, it helders a spigot
that the Democrats refused to spin.
Dude, he keeps talking about it so much,
I think maybe there is.
That's what Trump does.
Where's the spigot?
He just repeated it so many times.
Where's the magic spigot?
He said it's in the Pacific Northwest
and they refuse to turn it on. So someone in Washington is rubbing their hands together
with glee, not turning on the California spigot. No, in Sacramento. It's those big fat cats
in Sacramento. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, those Californians trying to keep the water out
of California. I just want to point out that we here at PKA saw that reasonable a month ago when we said why don't we just like pump some
Water out of the ocean spray it on there. I saw a fireman today on YouTube
He's like why don't they just pump some water out of the ocean and spray it on there
It doesn't hurt the pipes or the trucks and he like goes step-by-step about how like the salt water would be no problem at all
He's like you think that's a little salt water is gonna contaminate the earth
Well, what's that gonna do and he shows us like a C one 30 dumping that purple liquid over the,
over the country side.
And it starts like roiling when it touches the capacity was the problem.
It was never water, like availability.
It was that they couldn't pump the water to the place.
Have you ever seen videos of those giant planes draw?
I saw one, like I never really internalized how much ferocity
is behind the amount of water moving at that speed.
And it was like an example of it.
It had like a Chevy Tahoe in the middle of a runway
and this plane just flew over it and dropped what like,
was probably like a modest load of water
compared to what some of these are doing.
And it like hit the side of this Tahoe and it was
like a paper cup just immediately torn to shreds. And like in my retarded head, I would like, I
didn't think about how powerful that was. It's like, oh yeah, it's water. That's a lot of mass
and momentum. Yeah, it's coming out of a plane. Planes carry like 9,000 gallons, you know, times eight pounds a gallon.
And then they got to be going 150 miles an hour or something.
It's a plane.
Yeah.
Aviation perspective, that job is maybe the hardest pilot job that exists.
Maybe something in the military is tough.
But there's two things to keep in mind.
One, the weight of their plane changes dramatically
as like the helicopter or the plane drops its water.
And that's a challenge to deal with.
Like you dump the water, all of a sudden,
the plane wants to jump up and point in the sky.
And now you're gaining altitude,
but losing airspeed as you lose up.
So that's something to deal with.
Another is the place that you're flying.
Like thunderstorms don't have shit
with terms of like updrafts and cloud suck on fire.
When you fly over a fire, the wind is going up.
That heat is rising and it's hard to keep the plane
where you want it to be in such a turn.
And by the way, that heat rising over the fire
is accompanied by sinking air next to the fire,
fueling it, right?
Turning this, it goes down on the sides and up in the middle.
And as an aviator, like those guys have a really tough problem to solve.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It makes sense.
I've never really thought about it that specifically.
Cause I think flying a plane is super duper easy and that like a child could do
it if you just threw them in the cockpit.
Every time I see someone that you've done it right.
Yeah.
But, but you've never seen a scenario where like the pilot passes out
and some poor pastor has to fly and it doesn't go well.
It goes well every time because it's easy to fly a fucking plane.
If you've got someone in your ear saying now turn the red knob. Yeah.
Trust me, dude. Plenty of time. Don't even worry. Yeah. Just turn it.
I don't laugh works too. Yeah. Actually it's like turn it either way.
Like it's that one either way like it's
That one guy that stole one in like Portland or whatever
It was me and Chiz were on vacation smoke cation up in like Seattle
And that's when that guy stole that plane up in the Pacific Northwest and went on a joyride
He was suicidal and he's on the radio. It's all recorded
You can watch and listen on YouTube and he's just like yeah, I've played a few video games. I'm familiar. I think I'm going to head over by Mount Rainier.
Take a look at that. Wow. It's beautiful. Hey, you think a DC 137 can do a barrel roll?
And the guy's like, ah, Mark, please, please don't do any barrel rolls. Ah, come on. Let's
see what she can do. And he did. I'm pretty sure he did a bloop the loop in a in like a
I don't know what plane it actually was, but it was a it was a big ass plane
It was not a small plane and then he crashed into the mountain on purpose and killed himself the 9-eleven hijackers
I think they did a lot of their training came from microsoft flight simulator
They took flight lessons in florida. They did also in Cessna's but they learned to fly the 747s with the flight simulator.
Makes sense. Yeah, yeah. I guess, yeah, that makes a ton of sense. They're just super easy to fly.
Like, it's not a magical thing that's happening up there.
They're different. I think it's really easy 98% of the time. And then the other thing is...
Yeah, there's a reason it takes weeks to get a pilot's license
and costs all that money.
But I think it's mostly what if the computer fails
and you've got to do everything manually
is what you're learning in most of flight school.
That's what my book looked like when I was looking into it.
It was like tons of like manual navigation
and tons of manual, what if this breaks type shit.
But just like driving the plane was so easy
that it's just child's play.
It's just like a car, especially in a small plane.
I'm sure in a big plane, there's lots going on.
Helicopters look crazy hard.
And then helicopters with two rotors like blow my,
that guy's an artist.
He's balancing a lot.
I don't know for sure about the dual blade helicopters,
but you may have it backwards.
A lot of the bigger, more sophisticated helicopters
fly themselves, almost like a drone,
if you've ever flown a drone.
And the hardest to fly are like those Robinsons
that have no assistance whatsoever.
It's all pilot skill.
I've seen, like I've been in those
and watched like what he's doing,
and he is always doing something
You know what I mean? Like like at all times he is balancing an egg on a spoon
While like walking essentially it's like having a broomstick on your hand, right?
That broomstick on your hand if you stay right on top of it like yeah
You're in a pretty good spot all the time
As soon as that shit goes sideways you have a big problem that you wish you hadn't gotten here. No, because oh, yeah
You got it. It was clear that Robinson 22 that if he just let go of the stick we just die
Stay up here it wants to come down sideways into those trees so bad
And it's like everything this guy can do to keep it from not you and that pilot the other day how many hours he had
And they never want to tell you we I asked that guy that was driven
It was like I got a guy playing a flying and Robinson 22 and one plan of flying a 44
filming and working together and the 44 guy was old-school Vietnam vet or some shit like white beard
Like solid as a rock trust him so much asked him how many hours and it was like
3,600 or something absurd and then the other guy the other guy
he was like
plenty
That's not the answer I was looking for Scott you fly with him
Yeah, he didn't confident enough to lie to me with a real number knowing I couldn't track it
Yeah, he couldn't even make up on exactly. He said plenty
which to me sounded like 200 or like 80 or something like that, which he did almost crash that helicopter that day. So it makes sense.
I saw an expert on YouTube talking about the military flights to pull the immigrants to
their home countries. And so military flights are very expensive.
And so using our military to take these guys
to wherever they're going is not the cheap,
is not the cost efficient way to do it.
But the counterpoint he made is
military pilots need hours.
So if you wanna save money by not using them,
then they're just gonna cut holes in the sky training,
doing nothing. So it's not
the waste that maybe it seems like it is at first, but it might be. I thought through that myself.
I guess that makes sense. It's like, you can't drop these people off in Honduras, so spend that
fuel in a circle over Vermont. Exactly. Or don't get that extra training. And for every flight hour,
you've got to know that there's at least one more hour of maintenance training that's gonna happen and
And I like all that our military is just like an athlete
You spend years and years in the offseason you come back and you're gonna be for shit
That's why I always wonder like what's China's military gonna? How is this gonna perform when they actually like?
Send a guy in to fight another guy because I don't know if they ever have in modern times.
I don't know if they've ever done anything.
I've had that same thought with North Korea, right?
Cause they're involved in the Ukraine war right now.
Like dude, no one alive in North Korea
had a significant role in a war until now.
Yeah.
It's going poorly for them.
I keep seeing lots of videos of them looking very afraid.
They're probably fully equipped.
I mean, I don't know what North Korean equipment is like, but it can't be as good as Russian
equipment.
And that doesn't seem like on average is that good.
The Russians treat their own people as just they call it meat waves, right?
Their own soldiers are sent into deadly situations and they just
overwhelm the other side until they get land. Ukraine declares a big victory like all right we lost three miles but they
lost 7000 people. Well apparently like I don't know what's lower than meat wave but that's how Russia is using the North
Koreans. They're using them on them like when everyone's gonna die and we said North Korea
and North Koreans are rebelling they're attacking Russians at this point like that like there's
three wanted right now and are they killing a Russian like superior or something there's three
North Koreans and it's like you gotta imagine it's easy to find three North Koreans in Russia right?
Yeah they stick out pretty right pretty easily there's not a lot of Asians or at least the
Asians they have in Russia are like the Mongolia kind of Asians who do not look like the Koreans. There's that whitest kids
you know sketch. It's like right after Vietnam and there's three dudes at a barbecue and they're like,
hey, Mike's a little different since he came back from the war, huh? It's like, wow, man,
this is fucking war. Changes you. Yeah, I guess. But like, I don't know, Mike comes over. Oh, hello. It's great to be here on American day.
Much freedom for us all. It's like, yeah, much freedom for us all.
Much freedom.
Clearly a VC who's like taking Mike's identity.
He's wearing like a blonde wig.
That is. Why is your wise kids.
You know, it's so fun.
That was like one of the first comedy troops that I found on YouTube in like 2007.
Yeah.
It was like what I would go to YouTube for for a while.
Like, Oh, are there any more?
Why does kids, you know, sketches?
Yep.
It was so SNL was way more popular and I was like, isn't this better than SML?
Am I alone here?
This is funnier than SNL on average. Yeah, SNL is still going
Yeah, well the main guy for why just kids, you know died like three years ago or something. Yeah, Trevor Moore
That's his excuse for not making content. I mean some people push through when times get tough
No, not this guy falls off a balcony and I like people who die and still make their TV shows
Yeah, yeah, who's the the bodybuilder who's still pumping out content?
Oh yeah, posthumous bodybuilder over there.
Like, his name's like Bulldog.
Blue Mountain or Big Mountain or something.
Something.
Mountain Man.
Did you see the clip when all the other,
it was like the same day Trevor Moore died
or like the day afterward
and like all the other whitest kids you know
were like on a Twitch stream talking. And they're like, you know, nothing had come out about
how he died yet. And they were like, you know, I, we always said we'd be honest about how
one of us died if he did. And Trevor, we kept telling him to stop doing this, but he just
wouldn't stop trying to suck his own dick. He broke his neck and he passed away. And
this is how they just continued that like
in the middle of this sad proceeding. But yeah, that's, that's all subreddit. So I think
it's self suck. I found that the other day. It's just really blowing themselves. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. It's just, it's just guys blowing themselves. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Were you
looking for lessons or just, just poking around? Lessons obviously. I mean, I don't know if
there's any lessons to make a dick grow five. I mean, I don't know if there's any lessons
to make a dick grow five or six inches.
I don't think any lessons are gonna do that.
I think that's what's required.
That's the commonality I noticed in these dudes
that can blow themselves.
They got 12 inch cocks.
Not this guy.
Dude, the top guy right now from six hours ago,
that is just normal.
Maybe even.
Yeah, I'm gonna take your word for it on this forum.
Yeah.
He bends over so effectively.
I thought it was 69 at first based on this camera angle.
Yeah.
OK, that dude can eat his own ass.
You would not like this one.
I wouldn't like.
Is it a little grody?
Well, he's balls too.
He has his shoulders on the ground and his butt in the air and you can see his butt very
clearly and he may have a medical issue.
It's crazy, it's like these guys are so confident in sucking their own dick, they're like, I
can take a picture at the same time.
Like I can.
Oh, he's got a camera set up or at least a camera man.
Like some of these are high quality.
Dude, I think I've spotted two hemorrhoids in the last two minutes
You're not selling this for him. I'm not opening this. No Taylor. I have not that comment a bunch of hemorrhoid bottles leave that comment like
What comment dude get that get that hemorrhoid checked out?
It's gonna pop I think there might be an overlap between self suckers and anal sex enjoyers
Receiver receiving enjoyers, receiver, receiving
enjoyers.
That's one of my favorite parts of land man.
They're like, how's your, they asked Billy Bob how his day was.
He's like, I had a hemorrhoid explode about 80 miles back on that dirt road.
So that's, that's some relief.
I'm sure you could, if one got inflamed enough, you could have one pop like a cyst in your
ass.
I've never had a hemorrhoid.
I know you had that whole hemorrhoidectomy where they like cut your whole butthole out.
I'm a subject matter expert, but I didn't know they popped.
Yeah.
We got his whole butthole cut out, Taylor.
I don't know what I remember that I've got the youngest butthole in the show.
I mean, oh, I bet it's like a model.
It's like, it'd be like if a pretty girl had a car accident, they went ahead and gave like a fair of Fossett knows that's exactly he's got he's got fair
of Fossett's asshole. What if what he got like a like a like a college girl's butthole and like
a like a movie where you get a murderer's heart and like.
Oh, I wish we heard an hour because I would love to wrap on that joke. That's perfect.
When you first told that hemorrhoid story years and years ago, like I remember you and
I'd heard other people say they're like, yeah, you can get them just from trying to push
your shit too hard and like not just letting it happen.
And like to this day, I don't push shits.
If it's not ready to come out, it doesn't come out.
You know what happened?
I just bought a home and in the back of the home,
there was like, I think a tornado had knocked a big tree down
and we had like an excessive amount of logs in the back.
So I was using a chainsaw all I had
to split all the wood with a chainsaw, stupidly.
And the idea was to like get into pieces small enough
that it could rot.
Here in the South, if you leave wood in the dirt
for any period of time, it turns into dirt in five, six years.
So I had a hemorrhoid already, but it wasn't bad.
It was like a two out of 10.
It was the sort of thing you can push through.
I was too young and dumb to know that I needed to rest
and take that to a zero out of 10
and not like go outside and back break for 12 hours
and take that to an 11 out of 10.
It's a baby powder in there.
I fucked up.
So if you have a tiny hemorrhoid,
make it nothing before you hit the gym
or the ax splitting or whatever.
Never had a hemorrhoid or any sort of malfeasance back there.
Nothing, nothing's gone awry yet.
I always, I'm always terrified of the day
when I poop and there's blood in there
and I know I gotta go.
I guess I'm gonna close the fucking 40
and it's time for that guy to run
that goddamn garden hose up there.
Chef's kiss.
I'm not excited for the colonoscopy.
You think I could just get some blood work,
some extensive blood work in lieu of that?
That seems like the sort of medical advance
we should have made by now.
I think we have made that exact medical advancement
you're talking about. Let's go.
Trump's America, let's go.
Some people still advocate for the colonoscopy, which-
Parctologist.
Right, I wonder if it's just big butthole trying to get us
to do an-
Yeah, it's big butthole camera.
Big butthole.
But what was I gonna say?
Oh, the procedure's not bad.
I had it done a long time ago.
I'm overdue, but I have the same thoughts as Kyle.
I don't wanna do it again.
And basically it's not an entirely unpleasant thing.
You get some dope ass anesthesia beforehand
and have no memory of anything else.
The thing I hate the most is when you come to
in the recovery room, there's like my wife
and several nurses all rooting for me to pass gas,
which is not a thing I do.
You could spend a decade with me
and think, Woody just doesn't fart.
Like I don't rip them in front of people.
And they're all like, come on Woody.
Same, I don't rip farts in front of people
because when someone does it around me,
I'm like, that is so fucking rude.
That is so rude.
Go to the bathroom and rip ass.
We're all in a common area. Mm hmm.
Yeah. And a lot of people think that like husbands and wives like that's
you get to that stage.
Our phrase is let's keep the mystery alive.
That's and I think that's actually uncommon, but that's what we do.
I'm 100 percent on board. I've told like Taylor thinks I'm crazy.
We when me and my girlfriend P, we turn a sink on so that the other person doesn't hear.
Even with the door closed?
Yeah.
I run the water when I pee so you don't hear me pee.
I don't want to hear her pee.
Your aim is good enough to do a silent pee.
I do do a silent pee.
I always do a silent pee since I was a child.
Yeah, you're loud and proud over there, Woody.
That's why we share a toilet so well.
I've told this story before, so forgiveness.
But when I was a child, I heard my father pee,
and he was aiming like center toilet
while I would do the silent pee.
And I was like,
that was a draft.
It was so much, right?
Like the thunder of the pea hitting the middle of the toilet made a sound that my tinkles,
his rocks, and I'm like, what kind of hose is that man working with?
So now I want to be that guy that people are like, what is going on in there?
Does he have a fire hose in his pants?
See, you both made good points.
Let's wrap on.
All right, let's wrap.
You got to hang out tonight.
So PKN 545.