Painkiller Already - PKN 555

Episode Date: April 8, 2025

PKN 555, how you guys doing? Not too bad. Doing solid. Yeah. How about you? Every so often I'll pop in, see your stream, see you gaming. And the two most recent times I popped in, one of them was very sweet. It was like you and Jackie was off screen being like, go like north here.

And you're like, well, I fought in like six rooms since you told me to go North. And so I don't remember where we were. I'm always lost. Like you weren't even playing, you were scrolling and you're like, ah, Kevin, I'm really sorry. I really didn't mean to ban you, man. I I'll figure it out. I'll figure it out. I did. I think I banned the same guy twice.

Some guy came in and when it's the first thing they've ever said, it tells me first time chatter and it was something really unkind. So I'm like, all right, if this guy's going to pop in here for the first time ever and be awful, then then that's what he's all about. And, um, sorry, I'm just getting my mic set up. And anyway, so I went to ban that dude and I banned the wrong guy.

Problem is second time, I've only falsely banned someone twice and it was the same guy both times. And it just, when you click on the three dots near someone's name, they're not aligned correctly. It's a little above or a little below in the software. And I made a mistake and I banned him. And I'm like, I can't believe I banned this guy's alt account.

Cause like, not only did I ban him and I can't figure out how to unban him, but he made an alt account so he could watch me. And I banned that too. I'm awful at this job, but I did fix that. Yeah. So Kevin's all good now. Yes, it's funny you saw that. Yeah, yeah.

I'll pop in from time to time. Seems like you're becoming well respected in the very, very difficult game universe. Like you don't seem to be struggling. I have become competent at gaming. There's a guy I watch. I don't want to name him because I'm about to compare myself to him, but he's world-class, he owns like many, he previously owned like speed run records and stuff like that.

And now I'm watching him play this game. It's a new game, so we're both new. And I'm like, low-key, like, yeah, I don't want to say I'm, we're about the same. And like I'm better at some things and he's better at some things. And I was like, this is shocking to me because And like, I'm better at some things and he's better at some things. And I was like, this is shocking to me because that guy's a way better gamer than me.

But on a game that he doesn't have like a 2000 hour advantage, it's a lot. It's anyway, I played this game pretty well, but we'll play a new game soon and I'll suck all over again. Have you thought about that? We talked about it on the show months and months ago, but people thought it was going to be like Souls, the monkey king of Wukong or something. Yeah, that's on the... So Wukong and Liza P are on my list. So May 30th, my heart belongs

to Night Reign. That's when that comes out and I'm very excited about it. But between now and May 30th, I could see squeezing in two new games. I think this one I have will be done before too long. Nice. What's Night Ring? Is that a whole new game or an addition to? They reused the Elden Ring assets and built a Left 4 Dead out of it. So it's the same combat that I'm accustomed to and even some of the same bad guys, but it's 30 minute games where you kind of rush and try to survive to get to the big boss at the end. Okay, that's cool.

Yeah, and I intend to play with subs in that. Like that's the idea. Like, you know what, I was bragging two subs. I'm hoping that I'm good enough to carry like non-great players to wins consistently, but it's yet to be seen. Yeah. So, let's see. That's cool.

Everybody I know is playing schedule one. I have a friend. It's a drug dealing game, right? Yeah, tell me. Do you know about it? What can you say about it? I saw weed. That's all I know. That's all I watched a friend play for a bit.

And it's like. Silly polygonal people you're talking to, like a game where the graphics couldn't be less of a thing. It's just about like the grind. And he was taking me through like his inventory and everything, I think it may have mentioned on PKA, but he was like, he walked into this, I guess he was early in the game

because he was still selling weed. And he walked into this like shitty fucking trap house apartment in like, where like if you leave, there's like other drug dealers and they're like polygonal goofy heads. And it's just filthy. There's like trash all over his apartment. And he's like, made some easy money by firing the cleaning lady. I don't care if it's dirty. Doing that. And he's like, if I sell a little bit more, then I can make a down payment on my first meth lab. And I can level up to selling meth instead of selling wheat.

And I'm like, okay, like what's the end game? And he's like, well, I think eventually, I think eventually I can get to heroin and it's like, okay, well have fun with it. I don't know how much it has in terms of legs for like playing it a lot, but it's a very novel goal in a game, which is sometimes all you need. I have wondered if like, is it a good game or is it just, I don't know, an edgy concept that makes a bad game more interesting? Yeah, I can't imagine that like two years from now, there's going to be some guy who's like, yeah, I've been grinding schedule one and now I'm the king, the global kingpin. Like, I think it'll schedule one and now I'm the king of the global kingpin.

I think it'll probably have the same life. Like that, oh, fuck, I was the one playing it and I can't remember. Lethal Company, the one where you like fly around and the graphics are terrible and you're with your friends and you collect trash and try not to get killed by these like randomly generated monsters and randomly generated dungeons. That was a lot of fun because it was just a novel concept and another way to like shit on your friends a little bit and make fun of them and joke around. But the game itself isn't what drove you there. It was kind of like like an Among Us. No one's like, dude, the Among Us gameplay. So it's like, no, you're just clicking

like a line that lines up with a generator fake generator and all the fun comes in the post lobby we're like no you're the fucking murderer so I think it'll have that that's what a murderer would say yeah it's pretty sus all right Kyle I heard unfortunately on your Baldur's Gate squad you had to let someone go, not everyone makes it to the end. You know, the the the the journey is no less complete, however, for those who get booted from the party after Act one for not having enough free time.

But, you know, he's just like he's he's. I describe this person as unclean. No, it's just he's kind of like our Boromir. You know, he gave me all gave some and some gave all. What's his name? He's got a black person name, but they call him dirty. I was saying that's unclean. Yeah. Yeah. He said he's like, I got weekends.

I can play on weekends. We're playing four wide Baldur's Gate, which requires a ton of your time because it's like I don't know if we sped through it You could probably knock the campaign out in the 80 hours or something You know, we had a skit you had to skip things and everybody's got to be on the toes 100-hour commitment that we're doing here and he said he had weekends and then we were like, alright Alright Friday Saturday and Sunday works then and then Friday he was he had like Three hours to play and everybody was disappointed and we're all in the back of our head

We're thinking Saturday's coming. That's a meaty day. We'll get a good six eight hours at least We might do a whole session. We might start early and game late and we ride into our little Discord like hey, man What time do you only get started on on Saturday? He's like 10 10pm works for me. And we're like, everyone you just see everyone else is hype. The other three of the other three of us are all just like, ah, motherfucker, started 10pm on like the day that you have free time. Because I know Sunday, I'm not going to have as much free time. I've got stuff going on Sunday. It's not certainly not all day is free or anything.

So we had to boot in from the party and continue with just three of us. But let me ask is. Of the characters you have in your fellowship, was his the easiest to be rid of? Oh yeah, not only was the easiest to be rid of, but now like the game, the game's difficulty only goes to high. Is he your least favorite friend? Was he sort of yipping?

No, no, that's not at all. No, it's, it's about, you know, you're, there are three of us now instead of four of us. And so everything is 25% harder. Um, uh, but, but that's a good thing. Oh, it doesn't scale. No, no, the game is the game. You bring as many people as you want. Four, and obviously it's, all right, it's four of us. We got this.

Is it harder solo? I thought you had like AI. Oh, it's almost impossible solo. I thought you, have you not done it solo many times? So what you're misunderstanding here is how many party members are going with you when you're misunderstanding here is how many party members are going with you when you're adventuring so whether you whether you control them or

Dirty control them doesn't matter. There's only three of us now So we were leaving his character behind because he's not there. So now there's three of us and you're placing with ai Can't replace him with ai because he we started a four player multiplayer game. You can't replace his character. They won't let you. So his ugly. That's the other thing. Everyone else has an attractive character except for him. He made an ugly rapist midget. And so now we all have to look at this ugly rape midget that's in our squad all the time in the camp, just mean mugging us like a little rape midget that we've beaten him to death over and over. He keeps coming back. I was in your party. You would totally want to bang me.

Wait, so could you, could you control? A little hairy for your preference, but otherwise I'd be dope. Yeah, we can drive his character around, but nobody wants to do that. But what I was saying is like, if he's bothering you, like jail in that game seems semi permanent, could you just control him for one second and be like, pickpocket this guard? Oh no, dirty's character has been caught and now he's thrown in a dungeon to rot forever and the rest of you go on your merry way.

No, no, no. I thought that might be an actual solution. Not at all, not at all. It just makes the rest of the game much more annoying because we both do have a person and don't have a person on our team. So, but he's not there anymore. So at least we don't have to deal with that.

Since it's turn-based, are you having to like skip his inputs manually? No, I leave him at camp. No, we leave his character at camp. You know, his problem wasn't being unavailable. His problem was saying he'd be available, right? You're not mad at the other thousand Patreons for not showing up. You're mad at the one who said he would and didn't.

That's where it went wrong. Yeah, and he didn't seem that invested in a, because it was you and scum last hangout being like dirty for the last time. That doesn't do lightning damage. I desperately need you to understand the damage types. If you're going to be useful in our fighting and even that, Oh, don't even look sparky. And you're like, it doesn't matter what it looks like. That's not lightning damage

He's in part. He's impossible to like Teach he's so hard to teach like I'm really good at teaching people back game like I love that game I know all the nuances of that game, and I'm good at that anyway So like if you play with me after like scum knows how to play the game now I played through the game with scum and scum knows how to play the game now. I played through the game with Scum and Scum knows how to play the game now. Scum asked me, he's like, was I anywhere near this difficult and annoying to deal with the first time we played through this?

I was like, no, not even close. Because you would be like, hey, what does this mean? And I'd be like, well, and I would take 10 minutes and I would carefully explain it. And through that 10 minutes, he wouldn't interrupt me. Dirty will interrupt you the moment you start explaining something. Ah, actually it's like me. Dirty will interrupt you the moment you start explaining something, ah, actually it's like this.

No, no, it's like this, no, it's like this. And you're like fighting him. And it's like, dude, this isn't your game. This would be like me telling you when to throw a grenade and counter strike. Well, he's on an adderall. No, dude, you're wasting your smoke grenades at the beginning.

What are you thinking? Like that's the kind of stupidity that you're bringing into our Baldur's Gate session. Just shut up and listen and he can't do it. So it's it's better three. I like him. I like dirty. I don't hate dirty, but I hate playing that game with dirty. Yeah, so much better. Now I imagine scum would be easy. It's comes a very smart guy. Like I imagine he would pick that up pretty, pretty rapidly. Yeah. I mean, it's not that complicated. Like, like you don't need this huge understanding of all of Dungeons and Dragons 5e to play the game. You just need to do what I tell you to

do. Like, I gave him the simple... his character throws things. He just throws stuff at enemies. That's all he does over and over. He doesn't... there's no nuance. There's no spells. He just throws things. Anyway, that's over now. But we're continuing our session. We're on... we're all the way through act two. We're moving into act three, probably do that tonight or tomorrow. We took a couple of days off, but it's, it's been really fun to play it multiplayer and to have three of us at least Yeah. Yeah. I think I want to play another CRPG next. I might play a rogue trader,

a 40 K rogue trader everybody likes that Or we played some hell let loose you ever play that No, you may have mentioned it. Let me look it up. I think it's milsim world war two We mostly drive the tank because you need a full tank crew to operate those world war two tanks or at least three people I think you can throw a fourth in too, but like one person is driving and there's a gearbox. So as soon as I got the driver's seat, he's like, Oh, not me, not me, not me, not me. There's like a manual transmission that you got to operate with a fucking keyboard. I hate that.

Eric, I quickly like looked at like glazed over at all the controls on my screen. I was like, let me shoot. Let me shoot or spot. That's it. Because like one person's a spotter and one person's the shooter. But it's, it's, it's, it's a lot more milsim than like Call of Duty. So like one person can't just drive the tank and shoot with one click. It seems really fun. I like killing Nazis. That's always fun. And they're trying to run across this snowy hill and I'm just sitting in my tank mowing them down with a machine gun. I think we got team killed eventually.

It seems like there was some kind of drama, but I do want to play that some more. That's pretty fun. Is this like versus, this isn't like two big teams where it's like you spawn as the Soviets or you spawn in as the Nazis. Exactly that. Oh, okay.

Exactly that. You have Nazis versus Americans is what we were doing, but I'm sure there's all the World War II scenarios. Yeah, I bet they got all the factions. That would be a pretty big oversight if they didn't. Probably so, although nobody wants to play as what, Italy. Like, nobody wants that. Why not? For every reason.

For every reason. For every reason. Like, well, you know, if you're playing as a... They're just horrible on stealth missions because they're so loud. Well, like, they didn't, you know, they don't have any tanks or cool guns or They were completely ineffectual in the war, you know So like you'd be the team is like why don't our bullets fit in our guns? Mussolini was a moron That is funny. Like you hear those little stories of like how exasperated Hitler was at times by the Italians. Oh yeah. Hitler was like, I understand, but a four hour lunch every day, we're in a war.

He's like, that's our culture, you know, we eat a lot. That's what we need. We have to set up a whole board, you know, charcuterie every day in the middle of the war. But yeah, they didn't have, I've got a thing in my watchlist to watch about their ineffectuality in World War Two and like Hitler's, uh, like pulling his hair out at Mussolini. I think, I think he, uh, Mussolini wasn't ready. I think, I think there had been some kind of discussion between Hitler and Mussolini and, uh, Hirohito or whoever. And I think Mussolini was like,

all right, three or four more years and I'll be ready to like think about getting started. And they're like, all right, let's start. He's like, whoa, oh no. I think a little bit of that happened. They started the war before he was 100% ready to go. Do you think Hitler and- Do you think he had any tanks, do you have any machine guns?

Like everything was bad. Do you think Hitler and Hirohito like before their big meetings, like would talk shit, would gossip a little bit, because you know Mussolini was late. Oh, probably. Isn't he the guy that made the trains run on time? Hitler was, right?

Or no, maybe Mussolini did too, I don't know. I'm not, I think so. I mean, I would say that Hitler made the trains run on time, but I have an unbelievably difficult time imagining a bunch of Germans pre-Hitler just not having trains when they were on time. Yeah, the trains run on time, but I have an unbelievably difficult time imagining a bunch of Germans pre Hitler, just not having trains. They are a punctual people. I Googled it.

The saying Mussolini made the trains on on time is popular, though largely inaccurate. The claim that the Italian dictator improved the efficiency of the Italian railway system, even though some aspects of the system got better is untrue. Okay. All right. So we didn't even do that.

What exactly did he do? Instead of changing the train stations, he was just like, if you're late again, I swear. Like everybody was scared or maybe they just lied about like, we were here on time. Like you just changed the clocks. He was such a fuck, like even- He made massive investments. I always see that political headquarters building that just says like-

CCCCC. Yeah. And it's like, man. What an ugly building. If only Mussolini, you were from a nation that had, I don't know, the most impressive empire in global history, and you could pull from that architecture. No, big block, ugly face, CCCC, just- So scary.

Yeah. Just ugly. I always see it represented as some sort of storm clouds above, an obvious evil coming from underneath. It's like- Yeah. clouds above and obvious evil coming from underneath. It's like. Yeah. It looks like an evil headquarters from a cartoon. It does. It's both ugly and evil looking.

And it's like, you look to the other side of the fucking Plaza and it's like, oh, there's a beautiful 1200 year old building just being rude. Just, and there's this big eyesore with some ugly angular face with C being yelled at you. That guy doesn't get enough hate that Mussolini. He got all he needed in more. He did. I guess he got overshadowed a bit by Hitler and Hirohito.

No, he got like, I know what you mean. Public upside down by his boots. I saw his last remaining relative or whatever, whatever on Twitter. Someone posted a picture of him like upside down, tortured to death and like, that's my great, the grand uncle. And they're like, fuck your grand uncle. He was fat, death to fascists.

He was fat. He was fat. That's the funniest. Those are my complaints in order. Well, I don't even like, and he was a big fat ass. How did they kill Buslini? Do you know like like a mob beat him like a mob beat him death and hung him by piano wire or something. That's not a good death. Yeah. His girlfriend too or his wife or whatever she was. I don't think they hanged him. I think they hanged him up by the boots, but he had been dead like probably hammer strikes

to the head or something, St. Louis style. Yeah, I don't know exactly what was the cause of that was. Exporting culture. It wasn't happening. That's where we got it. That's the one thing. Yeah, we learned that from him. Speaking of St. Louis,

we might, we're gonna make the playoffs, boys. The Blues won 12 games in a row, an all-time franchise record Good guy out of nowhere. Yeah Boston fired their coach and because Boston is the worst team in the league and their coach was like Guys, like I have one superstar and a bunch of bad guys like I can't make a good team in Boston here and then they fired him and then he came to st

Louis and immediately turned it around and so the blues are really hot right now, feeling tentatively positive. You know, it's sometimes it's sometimes and Woody knows this from like watching hockey. Sometimes it's not even about the position you're in. It's about if you're rolling or if you're not rolling when you hit the playoffs. Like if you're, if you're a team that's like solidly in first or second, but you're on a real skid going into the playoffs, that does you're a team that's like solidly in first or second, but you're on a real skid going into the playoffs, that does harm your confidence. Can I jump in?

Yeah. For some reason, home ice advantage doesn't help you as much in hockey as it does in other sports. So the fact that you had a bad season going into the play, like the fact that you had a bad first half of the season, if this were football, that'd be a big problem. You know, you'd be away. It's hard. But in hockey, road teams win.

Yeah. So big fingers crossed for the blues. I didn't imagine ever, Kyle, come on. Actually, Kyle, you're, you've been on a ridiculous role. Don't look at the standings. Who's winning the Stanley Cup this year? Can't be a Canadian team. Um, um, I mean, yeah, I mean, they have to hit against at some point. It's been 32 years. Capitals. Capitals is the thing. The Washington Patriotic Washington capitals.

That's who's going to win patriotic as fuck. And you go hurricanes. When he goes, that's who's gonna win. Patriotic as fuck. And you did- I'm gonna go Hurricanes. What, he goes Canes, you go Capitals. Now, did you look something up or did you just think the Capitals? Well, I did send you the odds over here that your team had 1.6% chance of winning the cup. So I do have access to that. Okay, well, you know, that that means we're in the that means we're in the mix.

Right. Well, that is what being in the playoffs means. Yes. Yeah. But the Washington Capitals, that's a safe pick. They're killing it this year. Alex Ovechkin just two days ago, finally broke Wayne Gretzky's goal record, which is insane. I was shocked at just how bad he is, right? Like both of them really, what do they have 2000 goals? Does that sound right? They both have 894 and now 895 for OV. I must be thinking of points, 800 goal. They would be unremarkable bench players in the NBA.

LeBron James has 42,000 points, right? When you compare this to what you're best at, Ovechkin would never make it in the NBA. It's not even close. He could not score, and nor has he ever scored 55 goals in a game. Yeah, they were like posting all these stats and whatnot. This is something I didn't know. Ovechkin is also less than 300 hits from being the NHL's all time leading hitter since they started recording that. I knew that because my chat prepared me

with things to say to downplay his accomplishment. Dude, what the fuck, chat? Just, ooh. Ovechkin rules his I let me Capitals fans are fucking spoiled, just like Pittsburgh fans. Like they've got to watch these guys be incredible for decades now. Like no one thought Ovi would be scoring 41, 42 goals and like 60 something. He broke his he's 39 years old and he broke his leg earlier this season

and he came back after three and a half weeks. Like his teammates are like, yeah, he doesn't work out every day. He doesn't eat right. He's just like bizarrely strong, can't get hurt and he loves hockey. And so like there were all these videos of him. He loves hockey. A lot of, you know, professionals don't love this sport they play after years. When the scandal comes out, you're going to feel so, you're going to be so mad when you find out Gretzky lost his record to a cheater. The guy was like hopped up on EPO and greenies the whole time. Like it's going to be a real...

Look at OV's physique and tell me he's hopped up on steroids. I couldn't take OV out of a fucking lineup. If he's incorrect, you could take OV and put him in a lineup with like six black guys and I'd still be like, I'm pretty sure it's a tall white guy with eight teeth, but I'm not positive. I'm pretty sure it's the big gray haired white guy, but there's no way to know for sure. Yeah. That's so awesome. And they, he was playing against the, this is an older one, so he's looking a little more svelte there, I believe.

But yeah, he's just a big dude, like six, three, 200 and something pounds, just never gets hurt, which has helped his career. Very great. He's great than I expected. Wow, I can't wait to see him on a Wheaties box. He turned down a Tonight Show interview and the rationale was like, he wants to focus on,

you know, the capitals playoff run. But I think it's also like that for someone who's been here and a superstar for two decades now, his English is not as good as it should be. Woody, are you familiar with his English game? No, a little bit. He knows he can communicate just fine. I wanted to compare him to Khabib.

Oh, comparable, I think. Yeah, I've heard Khabib asked about being on Joe Rogan. He's like, I've been asked many times, many times, and I say, yes, I will come when my English is good enough that I can, I'm like yeah exactly so that he can express himself more better because he's like when I'm I speak Russian he's like I have all the words I can really tell you how I feel about a thing but you know he explained it well and I I like to be more and more every time I

see an interview with him these days. I hope he doesn't get drafted into the war. I hear that's a big thing in Dagestan that a lot of Dagestanis disproportionately are being sent to the war. Not the famous ones, I bet. Well, not the famous ones, no, but there's only like four of those. I thought there were a lot more. Something I liked about the when Ovechkin broke the record, it was in the it was at the end of the first period in a game against the Islanders. Also, the teams Gretzky set his record

on they were losing two to one. And then just in the middle of the game, they did the ceremony. And so it's like, all right, yeah, just in the middle of the game, all the celebration. And I was like, this is a huge celebration from going down two-oh to two-one. Yeah. You guys are all acting like you won the cup. Yeah, and I don't think they- Did they win the game?

No, the Capitals are their first place in the Eastern Conference. I think they've sealed that up so they're really not concerned with it. Oh, so he is in the playoffs there. Oh yeah, they're looking fantastic. And so- That'd be a real dream year if you got a cup too. Yeah, he has he's only got one in his career and people always line him up against Sydney Crosby as like whose career

is better. And it's like, well, Sydney Crosby has what three Stanley Cups. So Vechkin has one Gretzky do in the postseason. Very well. Yeah. I think he's like championships and like appearances, roughly like like was he there? Many, many appearances. I would say, what was it? Was it four or five cups? I was gonna say, I didn't know. I was one go there. But no, I'm just I was just asking for comparison sake. Like, you know, legacies are weird like that. I watch a for as much as I despise basketball and the NBA,

I watch a ton of the TNT crew shooting the **** and I want to teach you to despise it. Oh, they're like them too, but they basketball players are I'm sorry I cut you off. Basketball players are frustrated by the TNT crew because all they

do is talk **** about every player in the league and the league itself. Like these guys are soft. This game is boring. I don't know how anyone watches this. Too many three pointers, too many guys. You know, these players like each other. No one liked each other back when I played back when I played, we fought each other back when I played back when I played. They always shit on the modern game and pump up the old heads and basketball ratings are down.

Some people think that the fact that, you know, what's supposed to be your propaganda crew is actually running a hate campaign against you is perhaps related to it. They don't like me because of what, hey, what Shaq said. That's why no one watches us because Shaq was mean. There's no way that's what's up No, no, they're not watching because of any number of things but it's got to be like the moneyball ization of the game and the constant three-point shooting and everybody thinking they're stef curry when he's clearly A once in a generation type player since he's six feet tall and shoots threes as soon as he walks across the half court point You know what I mean? Like, oh, yeah.

But yeah, okay. The half court line. Is that better? I'm not. I'm not trying to pretend like this is great. We should talk about basketball, dude. The way he bounces that ball right off that timber, you can tell he knows what he's doing out there.

I feel like everything I said is accurate and insightful, Taylor. I'm sorry that I didn't call it the half. I agree. Although the the league all shoots three line What would you believe all short shoots threes better than before like it? Steph Curry is the best but the gap between him and the rest of the league has shrunk Yeah, not because he got worse. I've seen these clips of like I don't even remember the things but they run over they Attempted three and miss rebound to go to the other side, attempt to three and miss, rebound to go to the other side, and they went back like five times. Of course, they handpicked their clip, right? But still,

at some point, and the best players in the world missed like five threes in a row or something, and the crowd's booing, the announcers are going, well, What is this? You know, I bet the main three-point percentage Somewhere around 37 if that's not close. I bet plus or minus one and I should have it for sure So missing five in a row. Yeah, it can happen. Yeah, it looks bad as a product though like like I don't want to see him do anything, but it seems like basketball players would like to see them cutting inside and dribbling more and whenever I see them just pick the ball up and take like 18 steps um I'm like what what game is this like I wish there was a little more game planning right like Kyle if your team was a bunch of small nimble guys who dashed and sliced their way to the rim and had a

three points here and I had a bunch of big clotting guys, you know, who were all threatening seven foot and I had a different kind of game. I'd like to see those styles conflict like a wrestler versus a striker. Instead, every team has kind of sort of modeled off Golden State from seven years ago and it's a three point contest.

Yeah. How big are the ratings? Uh, actually down 45% or something that can't be. I don't think he's too far. I've seen that number before that might've been like, you know, bad comparisons, but they're down a third for sure. Like it's not good. That's that's insane.

Yeah. I'm not, I'm not calling them wrong. He might be right with 45, like it's insane. Yeah, I'm not, I'm not calling him wrong. He might be right with 45, like it's bad. And also it's so much worse than the other leagues. Like there was a moment where basketball was down, but football was also down. And you could say it's like a move to streaming culture that just doesn't really support live sports

in the way that the nineties did. But nowadays everyone seems to be doing pretty well except basketball. So there's something about basketball. So is there a worries that like these giant contracts are going to bite them in the ass now or no? No, they just redid the contracts, like the television contracts, and they were able to get more money by spreading it out, which is a fan sucks.

Now what we're supposed to be across like six different streaming services. We're watching on Amazon and here and there and somewhere. Like in my dreams, I don't care who, but like maybe Netflix gets every game and now I have access to every game. That's my dream. My nightmare is what happened.

Like I couldn't even tell you all the people that got some. There's like random blackouts. They just, that's the worst. Watching sports right now is hard. It should be easier. Like the NFL is weird. I watched a bunch of NFL games last year and I watched some of them on Netflix

and I watched some of them on like maybe Hulu. Like they were just spread around every day. Did I make that? Yeah. Amazon. Amazon. I like it. Every they were everywhere. And I have most of those services. I figured it out.

But that's not the true with baseball. That the same is not the isn't true with baseball. I remember there were definitely Braves games where I'm like, well, how am I supposed to watch this exactly? Like, like, like if I if I was was obsessed if my son was a Braves player What would I do to make sure I saw his game and it's like well, you'd need the MLB gold package That's eight hundred dollars a year and then you'd want to invest in all of these companies It's like it's gonna cost like four hundred dollars a year to watch all the baseball games. And what are you thinking?

What are you thinking? Are your ratings good baseball? Because I don't think so. I've had basketball is pretty close. I think basketball's ratings down are down because of some cultural stuff, because some PR stuff. Can I hit that back? During the COVID times, the NBA really embraced the I forget the Black Lives Matter thing. I was gonna try to pin it to like Ferguson or something. I wasn't sure which, but like Black Lives Matter in general

got very much associated with the NBA. They were in this bubble playing in Disney World because of COVID. And I don't think anyone had their name on the jerseys anymore. Instead it said like, don't shoot, Black Lives Matter. I don't know, don't shoot might not be an accurate one, but like they were all sort of BLM slogans.

And you know, that's gonna alienate a percentage of the fan base. Yeah. That could be part of what's hurt them. Yeah. They should stay. I mean, clearly you have a large amount of of the fan the viewer base thinks the games are fixed Like like a huge amount like like way more than you would think is acceptable

If you were running a sports league if you're running a sports league and 5% of your viewership thought the games were fixed You would be oh no Right people in those stands think this is a joke that were that were stealing scamming, scamming, faking, running a criminal organization. No, no, no. Twenty seven percent think that it's something like that. It's something like a quarter of the fans think that the games are fucking fixed. Yeah. And and those are the people who watch your games. I watch two games a year. I don't know. But they're saying that I've seen these graphs of like,

the the point distribution and how it like closes up toward the ends of games and stuff to keep games close for viewership numbers, all these conspiracy theories about that. And then, you know, like sports gambling has become so big, and you've got so many guys, I'm sure that are like on the bubble, they're not going to be fucking joking, the bubble, they're not going to be fucking joking or whatever. They're not getting some hundred million dollar contract. They're going to play one more year in this league. But oh, oh shit, I can do a thing.

I can do a thing and move a point here or change the outcome there or something. And I don't know. I don't know. It seems real sketchy. And it doesn't help that the guy at the NBA who has to like come out and address rumors of rigging and things like that, the commissioner, the commissioner of the NBA looks like Nosferatu. Like that guy, like have you seen him? Like something silver.

Oh yeah. He has like the bald head. He has like the, like the Christopher Lee angular features of a vampire that guy like He's an IDF commander whose job is to really clean up those villages Kick from a village that's where he got it. I was googling while you talked about fixed games village. That's where he got it. I was Googling while you talked about fixed games. About a year ago, March 25th, 2024, a player got banned from the NBA for life.

His last name's Porter. And what it was is people would bet parlays that he would meet like certain over unders and he would just go and like fake a finger injury or say he was tired or whatever and hit the unders. Some guy won 1.1 million off an $80,000 bet. And it's just like, it's kind of like, people think it's fixed. I don't know, entire games, I can't prove that, but it's not a guess.

It's absolutely fixed at least a little bit here and there. And that sucks. Yeah. I mean, it seems like just the way they handle fouls and I don't know anything about basketball. Not nearly enough to suggest fixes. But the fact that a ref can just be like, I think I saw you slap him there.

I think I saw you slap his hand again. Oh damn, a third time in the first quarter. That's crazy. I feel like it goes the other way. Just being able to have that much control. It's a little bit I watch it slap his hand again. Oh damn, a third time in the first quarter. That's crazy. Like being able to have that much control. It's a little bit. I watch it goes the other way. I saw I watched a video of just Steph Curry being harassed. Really?

It was like, leave him alone. He's just like, oh, I feel like this guy's all over him. It looked like the guy was speed searching him for TSA. He's one of my favorite players, Steph Curry. He's a really, really good player, never in a scandal, always seemingly a nice guy. I mean, he'll like taunt a little bit. Like if he hits a game winning three,

he has like a kind of famous night night pose. Like he just put the other team to bed. But on the scale of bad behavior, that's pretty slim. And his wife- Yeah, on the other side of the coin, you got John Moran, who's coming out with a double pistol. Who's Steph Curry? He like makes the shot and then Steph Curry,

he's like bang, bang, bang. And it's like, bro, you don't get to use both. You point with one or the other. He makes his definitive for like, how many games did they give him? Eight? I didn't hear about the games. I heard about the money.

I'm not sure. I could be wrong. That guy is such a piece of shit. I think I saw Barkley or Shaq or somebody talking about him. Again, I like the TNT crew on, I watch my YouTube shorts and shit. And they're like, I think he's just a gangster and he doesn't want

to be a ball player. He need that tool on him up in the club for some reason. That's what Barclays like for some reason he need that tool on him up in the club. The thing about John Moran, like he came from a nice home. His parents are still married. Like he is a pretend gangster or maybe he's converted. Maybe he's made the die. Clarence's parents have a real nice marriage. I did see the same day that Ovi beat the record, there was a thing trending where like LeBron was like just laying in the middle of the court like he'd been shot. Like even doing a thing where he's like banging with his hands on the ground like a tantrum and like in the yeah in the background in the background like there's you can see the Lakers bench and like

No one seems concerned Like if anything they're doing like a just let him let him get out doing like a just let him let him get out. Back in the day, like when the hack a shack was like a legit thing, like no one could stop him from dunking the ball when he was under the net. So they would just hug him, hack him, whatever. And he would try to power through it. Now, players try to draw fouls. And when you're as big as strong as LeBron or my guy, he's healthy Joellen Bede

um, you almost have to sell the foul because some little guy did hit your wrist and cause an issue but Now they have to like oh my god I'm not sure i'm gonna make it did you see on reddit that old clip of Jordan Playing some hard defense on that white dude right under the rim? They're under the rim. They're right under the rim. And this white guy is like, he's gone down and he's clearly going to come back up with

the ball and like, you know, tip it in, dunk it something. And here comes Jordan out of nowhere kicking him in the face in mid air. Like Jordan has elevated, Jordan has sprayed up jumped 40 inches in the air. And he is now in sort of a like Mario, you know how Mario when he jumps, like one leg knee is bent and he's like, woohoo! He's doing that.

And the one and his shin is hitting the white guy straight square in the face on purpose. And you're like, damn, that's some real D there, ha ha. But then the clip keeps going. And as Jordan passes over him, kicking him, he comes down and forearms him right in the face, hard. And the guy's like, ugh. But he still gets the shot off.

And there's a second person holding him down. Like, it was ridiculous. Did you catch the backstory? Like, if it's that intentional, like, is it a revenge? Oh, I have no idea. It was, they were making fun of like Jordan, I guess being a little bit dirt.

They're like, oh, he must, they must have, he must be taking that guy personally. And then other than the comments, I was looking for some sort of backstory, but I couldn't find it. I think they were just more over just talking about how defense used to be a lot tougher in the league Maybe I see a lot of a lot of that

I don't know. It's I wouldn't I wouldn't watch the game if Jordan were still playing so it's like Don't try to sell your game to me, but clearly a fan group doesn't like it very much either Mm-hmm the people who should be like me wonder where they went Like where did the NBA players bleed off to? I know UFC- The fan base you mean? Yeah, I know UFC grew a ton during the pandemic because they were only showing town.

Dana White's probably hoping for some more coronavirus. That was great for them. I think the UFC has lost its star power a little bit. Big time, yeah. Yeah, you don't have nearly as many. Well, like- What about that new guy that John Jones won't fight? Tom Aspinall. Is he not a star? In the UK?

Yeah, yeah. All all those UK fans like him. What you want is somebody who's a global superstar and you just don't have that. There's nobody who's that. And I don't know if there ever will be. Conor McGregor may just be a transcendent type of athlete that you're just not going to see for. I think Aspinall could be a bigger star. Jones wasn't dodging him.

He's kind of holding out for a title fight and Jones is holding out. Jones wants the record for the longest ever to hold the heavyweight belt, and he's only defended it one time. And he wants to hold it. He's holding this duration record by avoiding all the other fights. And it just adds to what an asshole he is. Yeah. I mean, but fans don't take a duration belt record seriously.

I wouldn't think like it's got to be at the number of times you're like, if there's any five time defending champion, if whenever there's like fan discussion about goat status and stuff like that nuance is built into it You know, I mean no one's gonna say look Jones held the belt the longest like everyone's gonna say Yeah, we all understand that he fought once during those four years though, right? Yeah, we all understand He beat Gagne an unremarkable Champ who I don't think beat the champ to become the champ like it was a no It was a yeah, neither one of them was the champ.

They were like, uh, consoling to make it. Yeah. To fill an empty bill, a vacant bill. And then he pulled this firefighter who had been retired for years out to defend his belt. And when there was an interim champ lined up, right? Jones was inactive for so long, they crowned someone else, the interim champ.

Jones dodged him, Tom Aspinall and fought this retired firefighter of course, and then dodge the other guy for so long. He has the duration title and I'm like, you're the worst person ever. That's mostly true. But you know, not fair to Jones at the same time. He didn't like pick the firefighter. He was scheduled to fight the firefighter and the firefighter is the former heavyweight champion.

Like right. Yeah, like several times ago. Like in looking mob. A steep. What? A steep Miocic. Miocic, I remember. Yeah.

Yeah. Look, look, everything you said is true, but they were scheduled to fight and Jones had like a peck tear or something and Miochich was out for a long time. It was ridiculous how long it took for the fight to happen and Aspinall was interim and everything. It's a real weird left-handed way of doing things, but the only parts of it that are

Jones' fault are what happens now, where he's not fighting Aspinall now. I don't give Jones any hardship for filling out, for fulfilling his you know his word and his contract and fighting Stipe Miocic. How shitty would it have been to Miocic to not give him that fight where he's been training for that thing for years like you know. I don't think he was training. He was retired. I mean I would I would need this I would like to hear Miocic's standpoint on because maybe he was like I needed that money retired. I mean, I would, I would need this. I would like to hear me. Ocic is standpoint on because maybe he was like, I needed that money. You know, this, this capped off the rest of my career.

This was wonderful for me. Jones, they wanted Jones to not take the fight. Jones told me, brother, I have you. And he stuck with me. Like I, I wish me at me. Ocic would say that that's me. Ocic's previous fight was three and a half years earlier. Imagine any other sport, like some what you know. previous fight was three and a half years earlier. Imagine any other sport like some you know,

football player who retired in 2021. Oh yeah. Coming back to fight right. Tom Brady coming. He would be okay. Tom Brady coming back this year would be not Tom Brady. Yeah. Yeah. No, I feel you all the way around. But if I'm Jones, that's the fight. We're getting that little, you know, we're taking that legacy. We're getting that another huge name on our repertoire. And whether or not he fights Aspinall, I don't think has anything to do with

his goat status. I'd love to see him fight Aspinall. I hope they give him give him all the money he wants and we get to see it. But I don't know know if that fights gonna happen. I don't care either way But no the reason the UFC doesn't have much star power is a lot of things One of the things is Connor McGregor was this transcendent once-in-a-lifetime kind of thing And then beforehand at the same time Rhonda Rousey was like this Sort of once-in-a-lifetime kind of thing, but they also just really pumped her up and they did the thing same thing with Sean O'Malley. I felt like he was a fabricated champion from the like goofy hair and tattoos to How you liked it opponents? I mean, I don't dislike him, but I don't think he's one of the or no. No, I'm sorry

I'm I was thinking of the the guy who gets really fat after Patty Pimblitt. I like him too. Yeah He's fighting Michael Chandler this week. It's going to be a very good fight. I'm I'm I'm it's a very good fight. I've been watching the behind the scenes like the they follow the fighters around for weeks in advance as they get ready to do their thing. Does Chandler look amazing? He always. Yeah, they compared this via like they did some kind of a webcam thing, like, like, obviously,

Patty's in the UK, and Chandler's here in the US, and they compared this size. Patty Pimlet's fist looks like an ogre's fist. It looked broken. Like it looked like it like the the big knuckle, like his main knuckle here, was four times bigger than it should be. And like huge, it looked broken. Like his fists looked like caveman fists. I'll try to find it. It's crazy. That sounds interesting.

It's in, you know, every so often you see some fighter and then his fists are just so much bigger than the, oh my. What? That does have to be broken. just so much bigger than the oh my and like why does his index finger connect with that weird knuckle thing he has happening. Yeah, he's about to imagine hitting you with that fucking thing. It looks to me like his fingers broken. Yeah, yes. But his the knuckle next to it seems like it's hiding from the action and then

his ring finger knuckle comes back in. It's wild. It does. Two fists that have seen some action. Oh yeah. This week like those are bruised Chandler is the guy who's known for big hands. I like the one above. I like they don't know that a lot of fighters do.

It's and it's clearly like not one above. I didn't know that. A lot of fighters do. And it's clearly not a coincidence. That's their weapon. And having more mass there is just a benefit. He's gotta be hitting people like 4% harder if his fist is 4% heavier, you know? And he's tracking at the same speed and everything. I look forward to that one.

That's gonna be a good one. I haven't looked at the rest of the card, but I think it's pretty good too. It's been a minute. This last card last week was shit. I turned it off and went back to folder. Reddit complains. Like sometimes a bad card turns out better

than you expected. You know, they're just a bunch of good fights. And while I'm into names, I'm also into fights. And if it's just a banger of no names, I'll watch your card full of middle schoolers if the fights are good. But I would, I mean, you're like, oh, he's kidding. No, dude, fuck the 12 year olds fighting, I'm riveted.

The fights are good. Yeah. But they were saying like all the fights went to the decision and it was just boring, a lot of wrestle fucking and yeah Yeah, yeah, they would put on a bad product. I they need to work on it I think they're doing something to the apex center and expanding it so they'll have more people there So it'll be a better viewing experience because when you watch those cards, it feels amateur. It feels like mmm It feels like a small regional wrestling event, you know, a wrestling event.

That's what I mean. You ever see those when they have like, I know of them. Embarrassing wrestlers throwing each other around in a high school gym and like giving it all. And it's like, dude, this, this can't be worth the punishment you're going through. It has that kind of environment with the audio,

with the lack of crowd noise, the way you can hear like, I don't know, echoes. It was neat at first. Did you agree it was neat at first? It was neat to hear the coaches in a way I couldn't before. It was neat to hear. Even the fighters talking to each other. It was neat when the fighters took offense to what the announcers were saying in real time as they called the fight like, you think I'm the second best boxer? What do you think now? Am I the best boxer? Like talking, it was Max Holloway, he talked shit to DC in his fight. And afterwards went over and told him that he was the best boxer in the UFC. And that kind of stuff was really neat to me at first, but I'm it's cooked now. Yeah, was he was he destroying Brian Ortega while he was doing

that? It might have been my god. Okay, compared to Brian Ortega while he was doing that? It might've been that. It might've been God. Okay. Compared to Brian Ortega, he's the best boxer on the planet. I know you know this, but at mid point in that fight, Taylor, he stopped and gave Brian Ortega defense lessons. He's like, you gotta put your hands up here. That, and Ortega was insulted. He grabbed Ortega's hands and lifted them.

Keep your hands up here. Bop bop. You know what I mean? Bop bop. Keep them up. Bop bop. Ah, see that works. See, I didn't get through.

Bop. I blocked those though. You've gotta be so confident you're winning to give them the best. Oh, it wasn't wrong. It wasn't exactly what I'm describing. It was that kind of like hit you when I want kind of like skill difference.

It was some kung fu fighting. I'm way better than you and your ass is whooped and you're tired kind of like hit you when I want kind of like skill difference. It was it was some kung fu fighting I'm way better than you and your ass is whooped and you're tired kind of stuff But there was you know, a million people watching him do it at the time. It was a cool fight or tega Like so a fight is 15 minutes long unless it's a championship fight And ortega had a few fights in a row where he lost like the first 13 minutes And then found a submission or a knockout or whatever all the way to the point where he gets against Holloway with, I think it was a title fight. And suddenly he's a, you know, a post turtle. Like we could do a little bit of Trumpian. I saw the Dodgers went to the White House, got their whatever freedom medals

or whatever the fuck they won the series last year. The dastardly about the Braves players. I don't think the Braves have won a game this year. Maybe one, they're probably like one in seven or some shit. Like it's great. They're no Phillies. I think they were five and one at one point. Does that sound right? They deserve it

But I saw that and I think that the California Senators were there For because you know Dodgers are their team and Trump was like a couple senators here I want to introduce them because I don't like them very much The Dodgers thought that was so funny that it was like a laugh It was like he was paying the Dodgers to laugh. It's so funny every now and then. Cause he's always surrounded with sycophants, politicians, and those grimy people, but the Dodgers are just people.

They don't owe any allegiance to anybody. These are millionaires who throw baseballs around. They don't give a fuck what people think. And so they laughed and laughed at his joke at the Senator's expense, And I thought that was great. And then Trump destroyed the world economy the next day. One and eight. Your Braves are one and eight.

Let's go. The worst team in the Phillies. Do you have in front of you? The Phillies are the top team. Easy when you're playing against seven, seven and two. The Phillies seven and two. in the national league. Easy when you're playing against them water right? Seven and two, the Phillies. Seven and two, okay. It's a good start. Three of those wins are against the Braves.

You can't count those. No, no, no, no. You can't count that. The Braves were so excited to see a major league team come right to Atlanta. Yeah. They're like, wow, maybe some of the Phillies will sign the ball for us. It's a bad sign when your guys are asking for autographs. You picked a good time to ditch out on the Braves.

The writing was kind of on the wall a couple of years ago with the Dodgers getting getting all the good players. When I saw the Dodgers get that show, ho, a tiny guy or whatever. It's like, yeah. All right. Well, that we're fucked for a generation when that is the best player in baseball. Japanese. The guy I just mentioned. Yeah.

Yeah. He's a modern day Babe Ruth. He's a pitcher power hitting baseball. Well, we're like, I'm not saying the Japanese are dominating baseball. I'm sure they're not. But foreigners are the best player in the world in basketball. An American hasn't won MVP in a long time

Might win this year John or Shay Gillis Alexander might win this year But if it's not him, it's gonna be Joker who's been winning lately Is that white guy who was in Dallas and then everyone said it was a bad trade? Is he American or is he another you know? Eastern European Luca and American or is he a another Eastern European Eastern European Luca and he missed a lot of games this year. I'm not, you can only win these big things in basketball. If you play 65 games,

they did that to prevent teams from resting players, unlike hockey whose system I think is better. Basketball tends to use per game stats, points per game, the sis per game instead of per season. So guys will miss like a quarter season and have the best stats. Whereas that, if you do that in hockey, you've earned it because they need a season long stats. That is silly.

I don't like that either. Yeah. Like you can really goose your numbers and then take time off, right? Then you rest, you miss like five out of the last 10 games headed into the playoffs so that you're all healed up. Yeah. Well, that's lame. I didn't know Americans weren't even winning MVP's in baseball or basketball anymore. I don't I don't know who the MVP in baseball was last year.

Well, it's got to be that Asian guy who's fucking. You said a babe Ruth of because I mean, I know enough about baseball to know that pitchers are bad hitters. And so if a guy's a good pitcher and like a world-class power hitter and you can plug him in anywhere, like that's beyond unique, right? What's that? Isn't it?

I mean, that's gotta be, when's the last time there was a good pitcher who was a power hitter that was like good at every position. Babe Ruth. OK, so a hundred years. You call him Babe Ruth. OK. Modern day Babe Ruth, except he's going to go ahead and steal a ton of bases to lay like still bases a lot in baseball. He does.

It's probably a dumb question. I'm just going off moneyball, who is like stealing bases is not a good bet. Yeah. And there's there's a couple of players now who still a ton of them. But like, what's his name? It might be a tiny who broke the fucking stolen base record last year. Golly. It's real. It's I can't remember. I don't watch him because I'm mad.

But so I try. It's literally it would be a stat that I've tried to keep out of my brain because I'm you know, I wish the Braves had picked that guy up and anywhere but against him anyway, but against them. You know what I mean? Like it's just the worst case scenario. I don't care about winning the fucking National League East. Of course, we can't win a game. One in eight.

God, I have a baseball question. It's probably dumb, but this guy's a pitcher, right? How often does he play? Does he only bat like every fourth game? Oh, I don't know how they play. But they did away with the pitchers batting and went to like the designated hitter a couple years ago, even in the National League I think

So I'm as he plays every day and pitches every five games. Yeah, okay DH like Probably got him d8 Zach says they do have DH so yeah, they've got a DH again Then pitching every four or five or six days. Yeah That's pretty sweet It's cool in any sport when you see like a Titan like that kind of make an appearance and it's like, wow. Kyle says that a lot,

although I'm not sure he feels that way about the Dodgers, but it's something I've adopted. Like it is nice for greatness to happen while you're watching a sport. You know, it could be fighting basketball, baseball, you pick it. But like right now, like you've gotten to see Ovechkin, you will be someday you'll be 60. And you'll be like, I knew what it was like,

how people responded when Ovechkin broke the record. I saw it. It was cool. Yeah. I didn't get to see Jordan play until he was with the wizards. I didn't watch any of those games, but I think he still would drop 40 occasionally. Like, which is like, there's no way he was bad at that point in his career, just kind of probably a shadow of the Chicago version. I don't know. Part of the team around him as well. Like he didn't he wasn't on a really good team. Whereas in Chicago, he was on you know, he had some of the best teammates in the league to

any own part of the Wizards. Yeah. Yeah, he's famously bad as a GM. And arrogant arrogant and a gambler. I love the gambling. I'm sure y'all watch the last dance, the ESPN thing where occasionally going, dude, it's like must-see TV. It's about Jordan's last championship run. And it begins with his previously failed one. And like the trainers like usually, you know, after a season I figured might get back to me

in six or weeks or so, and we'd start training again. The next day, the next day after the season, he just started training again. And you follow Jordan and the whole cast. They've got Scottie Phippen and, what, um, um, what's his name with the hair? Um, Dennis Rodman and like, like the whole cat, the coaches there, they interview everybody for this thing and they take you through the whole season and the playoffs to the championship. Um, when he's like, he's, he's playing dice before the game with like the

security guard and they parody that on maybe Saturday live Where he just like takes all that guy's money. He's like the guys like I don't have any more money Mike It's all I got. It's a lot of money for me Mike. He's like a night with your wife Play for your pants play for your pants pants. He's like got the guy's pants. Jordan was famously competitive about everything with everyone. One of my favorite Jordan stories is when he loses. He wanted Madonna, but Madonna was all about Scottie Pippen who apparently had a way bigger dick. No, Rodman. Am I wrong? I could be wrong. Yeah, yeah, definitely Rodman. Rodman was the one who was fucking everybody all the time. Yeah, yeah. Definitely. Okay. Robin was the one who was fucking everybody

all the time. Yeah. And anyway, Jordan tried to make a move on I guess Rodman's girl and she's like, Nope, I got the one I want. And it was like, Oh, okay, the rare L. Okay. I got to go gamble to get this out of my head. If you think I'm not taking it out of that security guard, you got to learn a secret too about how we work here. I saw him at a club. Um, they, they said the DJs here don't take requests, but Michael Jordan asked for not like us. So they play it and you can like see him in a little VIP area dancing to not like us. Like how old is that guy? He's still in a club partying. I feel like Michael Jordan has lived his best life always.

Yeah, I feel like he's gambling and fucking and winning for the last 50, 60 years or whatever he's been alive, and it's just been that every day all the time. Like what a professional winner he was. You hear about you talk about the competitiveness, like everything, the card games that they would play on the jet between games, like would get too serious. Like the golf, they talked about him playing 18 holes of golf before important games, you know? And then it's crazy, some of the Jordan stories.

And I love the interviews and that last dance thing, he would look for a reason to make it personal to motivate himself to fire himself up. They'd be like, all right, Jordan, you've got this guy. He's like, no, no, I got that guy. I'll cover that guy. He said some shit about me in the newspaper. I'm gonna make him look bad.

Jordan was a really good defender. So if a guy was going off or something, Jordan would take it personally, right? And defend that guy. There was one time Jordan was lighting up the sons that had Charles Barkley on the other side. And Barkley's like, all right, give me Jordan. This is getting ridiculous. And Michael's, he retells this story, I saw it.

And he goes like, Barkley not known for his defense. Myers gumption and you know what I had to pass the ball, but like he looked like he had just learned to play D doing everything like technically got down. Got down trying his hardest. He's like I passed the ball.

He did well, but. Never play no defense before. And then Pippen is like bitter about the whole thing. You know, Pippen didn't feel like he got enough money over the years and he doesn't like Mike. And so in those interviews, there's all that bitterness. And then, and every, every time they bring up a story, Michael be like, and I took that personally, it's become a meme of Michael. And I took that personally. It's like, dude, you took that personally, it's become a meme of Michael and I took that personally. It's like, dude, you took everything personally.

Did Scottie Pippen actually get shafted or was it just he was like overshadowed? I forget why he signed a contract that was less than he was worth, but he did. And then he was on that for a while while he's like winning titles and he's like a top player in the whole league. You know, Pippen would be the best player. If there's 32 teams, I'm making this up. He'd be the best player on like 29 of them. And, uh, but there he is next to Jordan earning money. Like he's not that guy. And, uh, he, he got, he's not broke,

but he didn't get paid through his career what he could have. Jordan was good with his, uh with his merch deals and stuff too. I think it's, it might be Barkley who tells the story about Jordan telling him. He's like, why you want all that money? You're like, huh? I looked at your Nike deal. It's like, why are you looking at my Nike deal?

What have been my questions? But he was like, I like your Nike deal. You're taking 3 million upfront. You don't need all that money. Take 1 million upfront and take the rest in stock options. Tell them that. And he's like, so I went to my guy and I told him, Mike says I should take one and the rest in stocks. And he didn't I don't remember how much money he said

it turned into he was like, but the end of the story was Mike was very right. It was Yeah, it's I forget the exact amount, but I'm close. He dropped from 3 million to one. I think Kyle had that perfect. And then he got like 80 on the backend instead. Like it was crazy. It was not like he got three and a half.

So. Paying that for him. Yeah. I mean, Jordan was, there's no telling how much he money he's made from just the shoes over the years, but he was the fucking Hanes underwear guy for like a day. Everything. Anything you attach Jordan to, I would buy it. If he was, if he was pumping something now, I'd be like, that's gotta be some, some good ball deodorant. If Jordan uses it, I

maybe they do. Do you guys know the Be Like Mike song from Gatorade? Like I'm old. So that's blasted in my head back when jingles and. I only know it because I watch retro stuff on YouTube. Is it the one where he, the one I'm most familiar with is when him and Larry Bird are having like a, I can do anything, you can do better kind of thing going back and forth. Yeah. Until they're shooting the ball

from outside the stadium in like, like into a dome. Like I think it just keeps going, getting more and more ridiculous until it's like over the top. They might be in airplanes or in space by the end. I don't think I told the Larry Bird, Michael, the hell was that Johnson? No, no.

Who's the- Magic Johnson? Magic Johnson. Sorry. Thank you. That's what I was looking for. So Larry Bird and Magic Johnson had a very real rivalry and like they kind of hated each other for a while. Magic Johnson thought Larry wasn't really that good

until he played against him in person and he's like, holy smokes, he's that guy. And anyway, they get deeper into their careers and it goes on for a while and they're doing some event together. It might've been a commercial and Larry Bird wouldn't do the commercial unless they shot it some event together. It might've been a commercial. And Larry Bird wouldn't do the commercial unless they shot it by his hometown.

He's like, I'm not traveling. Like I'd rather just fucking, you can keep your money. I'm not, it's not worth traveling. So they arranged the whole thing to be near Larry Bird's hometown. Cool. And he and Magic Johnson are shooting this commercial together,

but they're not interacting a ton. And then they break for lunch or dinner and Larry Bird's like Do you want to come back to my house and eat and Johnson's gonna say no, but he's like my mom wants you to come and for Magic Johnson That's like like, you know can't like, look, I got my things with Larry, but I don't have any issue with this guy's mother. So I'm gonna come back and do what she asked me to do.

I gotta respect. And so they go back and they're eating and Larry's not really talking to him. And Larry's mom is like, did you tell him? And he's like, no, I didn't tell him, mom. And she goes, tell him. He's like, you're my mom's favorite NBA player. And that's when the rivalry ended.

That's when they became friends. They started talking over dinner and Larry Bird's mom liked Magic Johnson so much. That suddenly changed the whole dynamic. I mean, I think that's the reason why I think that Harvard's mom liked Magic Johnson so much that he heard Barkley and Jack. I had a very similar like thing going on where I do know it.

Yeah, Mark Lee bounced the ball off Shax head in the game like angrily like they're on opposite teams. Obviously, he bounces off his head. Shack comes at him with a real punch tries to lay him out and misses. And they have to tear him apart. And there's this big, big fight. And half of the game, I think Barclay said,

no, Shaq said that his mom called him on the phone and said, you got to stop all this, this and that. This is that, hang on a minute. And they put Barclay's mom on the phone. And she's like, this is Mrs. Barclay. You boys got a guy, you know, I done talked to Charles. Y'all gonna make this right.

Yes, Miss Barkley. I don't know if it's still true, but like certainly those old heads in the NBA, like when the moms got involved, it was they were not the Alphas. The moms were. Yes, Miss Barkley. I watched a whole I watched a whole YouTube video of just a litany of interviews about Larry Bird. And so many of the questions were like, so you played with Larry. Was he really as mean on the court, as they say? And it's just all these guys being like in a roundtable being like,

I can't speak for these guys here. But he was unbelievably mean. Maybe the rudest person I've ever encountered in my life. And it was like, he'd put up 30 on you and then he'd be calling you gay. Every single person was like, yeah, Larry Bird was mean as shit out there. Every player tells the same story of Larry Bird saying, like, I'm going to catch it at the elbow. I'm going to walk down to the corner and I'm going to it at the elbow, I'm gonna walk down to the corner, and I'm gonna hit a three, and there's nothing you can do to stop me.

And then he did it, and I'm like, God. You know? Or it would be like one of those timeout, because we've got three seconds left to win the game, and Larry comes back and he's like, they're gonna give the ball to me, I'm gonna go over there to the corner, I'm gonna shoot it,

and then I'm gonna make fun of your whole bench. Fuck, I hope not. Shit, I can't stop him. He's better at basketball than me. Yeah, those are great about how mean he was and how he get mad if they put a white guy to cover him. He's like, you got a white boy covering me? 40. I think it was the Pistons. Daily was the

coach and uh he's like, don't you got, don't you have anyone who could guard me and Daily does wanna no. Just his own team like we don't got a guy here. Yeah. Uh yeah. Those stories are real fun. Yeah, we should probably wrap. Yeah, yeah. All right, PKN 5555.