Painkiller Already - PKN 557

Episode Date: April 22, 2025

Pgan 557. How you boys doing? Not too bad. Much better now that I saw the Oblivion remake just dropped. I've got it downloading in the other room because it was free on Game Pass. Can you tell me about Oblivion? I don't know. I've heard of it but I don't know much about it. It's the prequel to Skyrim from like 2006 and I didn't play Oblivion or Morrowind, which were the two prequels to it. Skyrim was my first endeavor into the Elder Scrolls universe. And the few times like I've looked at videos online

of Oblivion or Morrowind, it had the same feeling of trying to play New Vegas after I was introduced to Fallout on Fallout 4, where it's like, oh, there's no quality of life stuff like this. It's ugly. Apparently the combat's like a meme in Mortal Wind. It's so bad. It's RNG. So you can stab someone with the spear and nothing happens because it's RNGing whether or not you hit. And so I just never wanted to play it. Now they like redid it, brought in all the Skyrim like quality of life features, honed, I'm sure,

the at least half of the billions of glitches that happen in Elder Scrolls games where like some guy just can't walk past a wheel of cheese anymore and you have to like go back two hours in a save to try and get past it. Where do we still talk about in game being unable to pass a wheel of cheese?

Yeah. Well, that's that's both actually. This is a glitch. What's weird about this? It kind of reflects my reality. I'm seeing problems as the character. But yeah, I'm not going to look at any of it. I've never played. I don't know the character setups. I don't know because I know so much about Skyrim. I can like you.

I want to go in fresh. I want to just have a fun go at it. I play a ton. Patrick Stewart's the emperor. So you hang out with Patrick Stewart a little bit there at the beginning. Nice. It's notorious for its, I don't know if complicated

or janky is the way to describe the rank up system, the point allocation. Like it's like parts of 100. Ah, 62 intelligence, that's what I need. Give me 13 strength while you're at it. Is that out of 20? 100, it's overly complicated, there's a lot going on. I remember there being lots of interactions

that bugged things out. And most of all, the characters look absurd. Like, I don't know, like you made them out of Play-Doh and then animated Play-Doh. But they fixed, I won't say they fixed that because there's a charm to that. People have some oblivion character faces. But they definitely like polished it up and remastered it.

And I saw like there were areas that before it was just like a porthole cutlass or whatever you call it, that callus, what's that thing called for the- Portcullis. Portcullis, like the sewer with the bars on it. Like- Oh, I didn't know that had been- Before it was very plain Jane. It was just a circle with bars across it.

And like, ah, and now, and you know, they added plan. Why is it important? Ah, not portent. Why is the look of that great important Oh, I just mean that as an example of how they have fleshed out the world and added uh to it like like They've added uh instead of it just being a hole with bars over it There's like plants and plant growth around it and oh yeah just maybe it was

like the hub and you see it con know this is this is literally what I'm describing okay yeah I do see how that's an upgrade yeah and I did I saw something online now I I heard the same thing about the oblivion like rank-up system being convoluted convoluted and kind of weird, but apparently they redid that whole thing and borrowed like a mesh of the Skyrim system of rank up, which is kind of more streamlined. We'll see, I'm excited. I don't know what kind of character

is even offered in Oblivion. I'm sure it's similar enough to Skyrim, but I wanna, it'll be so long since I've played a game like this where I had no fucking clue and I'll genuinely be just trying to figure it out instead of like, you know, if I want to it'll be so long since I played a game like this where I had no fucking clue and I'll genuinely be just trying to figure it out instead of like, you know, if I want to I can just go crouch with a summon bow and shoot the gray beards on their around, rank this up super fast and stuff like that. Like you tell yourself I'm not going to do it, but then you get close to a level up and you're like, I'm just throw a couple of illusions.

I took my, I took my X-Box controller and I used rubber bands to make it swim in a circle. And I left, put my character in a pond and put the controller down carefully and went to bed. Like, but one thumpstick all the way to the right, one all the way forward and right one all the way forward and like one of the triggers matched all the way down and i'm sprint what did that do on your oblivion character either strength or stamina one of those was like like every few minutes you'd

hear as you like oh got another level let's go it's all i'm not above that kind of behavior but i am I'm not above that kind of behavior, but I am just, I don't like being lost. I don't like not knowing what to do. I don't like figuring games out. And the fact that you're like, I'm going in here totally fresh, no nothing, not me. I'd like to watch a whole play through before I play. The surprises are worthless to me.

I would like to skip all dialogue. Everybody who talks in video games talks too slowly for my tastes. And I, yeah, you're, I think normal. And the other side of normal where they're like spoilers are welcome. Backseating streamers hate backseating. Not me, not me, please. Do you have some subject matter expertise on this? Tell me, tell me. Before I face any boss, I'm like,

all right, chat, kind of bosses this. Anyone know what they're weak to? Let me know. Yeah, I totally agree on the backseating. I can't imagine. I guess if I were a, who's the shroud, that's like the master gamer. If I were a gamer of his level,

I also probably wouldn't like someone being like, you should, that's a stupid nade spot. But for me, if I'm playing a story like Red Dead Redemption, like I'm, I was playing that on stream a few years ago, like you're just putting attention between the stream and the game. And sometimes you miss like what, you know, fucking sharpshooter cowboy just gave you a hint on where you need to go. And then you look back at the screen, but it's left that cut scene

and now you're just in the desert. And it's like, oh fuck, I really need someone in chat to tell me what direction. Okay, I need to go north. Thank you. Cause I wouldn't have got it. I'll like read lore to chat. Like whatever, the dragon is going down.

We're all scared. Fuck. I read it in a fancy way and now it's gone. And I probably wish I knew what the second half of that was. There's no way to pull it back up. I read it slowly when I do it fancy. Yeah, I hope the I hope the voice lines are as funny as they sometimes were in Skyrim. And people have always said they were even funnier because the voice acting was a little

lower effort then. But like the the over the top like Jarl Balgruff in Skyrim always kills me that way like two characters will sound exactly the same. Like just the same guy doing the same voice. I know that's silly, but I enjoy that. It's like a fun little immersion break, but it's funny. I just finished streaming a minute ago and I was the super me and I'm still on a high about it.

The Liza P is a famously hard game, right? It's harder than most of the Souls games. I certainly thought it was. It's like one of the hardest of the hard games. I go to the lies of peace subreddit, and it's just people cursing and angry and said they quit the game. I'm quitting this boss is fucking impossible. I'm out. And I'm like, I was like nervous about getting to this. And of course,

I do it in front of everybody, which just adds to it. Second to last boss. First try just walked in there, didn't know the move set anything, just fucking styled on them. And I'm like, Oh my God, we always say first try regardless of how many tries it takes me in my day. It's like one of our things. And, uh, um, but this was a legit first try. So then I, I go to the last boss and this is the one that makes people quit.

This is the one where 75% of the players who start LizaP do not beat this boss ever. It's called the true ending. And my dumb ass didn't touch the hub so that I could get any heals. So I have no heals in my pocket, and I made it to the boss's second phase on my first try. And I was like, you know, that was a good first try. Like I beat them without using it. And

then about my fourth try, I beat the whole game. And then every time we beat boss in my stream, we play marbles. I won at marbles. There's like a one in 40 chance of me winning at marbles. Everyone in the first Marvel race. I'm just, look, when you're good, you're good. Oh yeah. It's an everything's coming up Millhouse kind of day. Yeah, it is. It's my day. It's my day.

Oh yeah, love to hear it. Yeah, this is- It's called When You're Hot, You're Hot. I like the aesthetic. I wanted to see what the final ending looked like. And I'm sure this is just this person's character, but the kind of gritty grossness of the weapons see what the final ending looks like. And I'm sure this is just this person's character, but like the. The kind of gritty grossness of the weapons where they look worn and used

and like bloodstained and they get this. Yeah. Liza P I like the aesthetic of this more than what I've seen of Elven Ring. I think this looks kind of, kind of cool. It looked really good that game. And I thought I didn't care about graphics, but I like Elden Ring's graphics. And then I played a game called Kazan,

another like famously super hard game. And it's like anime looking, and everyone said it looked terrible. And I was like, yeah, I guess I just don't care. And I thought I was telling the truth until I jumped in Lies of P. So much of that game takes place in the rain. So your character's clothes are drenched.

And when the light from the street light hits like your jacket, it glitters and there's like reflection and stuff. And I was like, I didn't know how much I thought this was cool until I had it. It's making that cartoon bullshit look like some 1990s game by comparison. Liza P looks fantastic.

Yeah, this is a good looking game. I care about graphics for like RPG style games where I'm like playing a character getting immersed in a world. OK, but if it's a strategy game like Civ or A.O.E. or Starcraft, I don't really care as long as it doesn't look fucking like so bad, it's hard to do. Like it's just different motivations. Sometimes I thought what I cared about

was that the graphics were informative, right? Like don't put so much fog in this game that I can't see the attacks. Don't have the enemy so tall that they're off screen, but it turns out I care about the aesthetics too, more than I knew. Good stream. Yeah, sorry, I guess the aesthetics are important.

I guess the way I saw Total War is like that's a strategy game. And even if I would have had an equivalent amount of fun on that game, if the graphics had been 80% worse, but it was also fun playing a strategy game that had these like insane graphics, because that's just something that doesn't exist really outside of the Total War series in the RTS genre.

Like, no one's focused on graphics. It's just about gameplay and strategy. Yeah. Are you going to play Oblivion, Kyle? You jumping in? I don't know It's been so long like I haven't played that game in actually 19 years Is any you know, I I have fond memories of it But do I even I might be conflict

I definitely remember that first scene where you and Patrick Stewart make your way out of the dungeon and but I think I'm conflating some of my gameplay with Skyrim because it's like the same shit. I mean the Skyrim has dragons and if I remember correctly, oblivion has oblivion gates or some such evil and it all melts together. You know, it's very similar gameplay. I might play it but I'm still fucking around Baldur's Gate. They they released all those subclasses, so I'm experimenting with all those, seeing how they mix and match. Taylor question.

You said Oblivion was free or something like what is it that can you help me? It's it's not free. I have a game pass on Xbox, which is is like eight bucks a month or something. I don't know, I should probably cancel it. But it has a bunch of included games. And so I just downloaded it with Game Pass. So I got like fallout on my Xbox to is it like Netflix where things tend to get a long run 1824 months and then it's gone.

They I don't know, I've only had it for gone. They. I don't know. I've only had it for like a year, but every game I've downloaded on Game Pass is still on there. Even the ones I don't play anymore. Like I don't have a physical sky room anymore, but I downloaded on GamePass. So my girlfriend could play. I did the same with fallout four and then like raft and just any game that I thought looked fun because there's a huge section that's like download for

free now with Game Pass and it's, it's pretty handy because it offered you to buy it for like 60 bucks to. Yeah, it's an amazing deal. It's an amazing deal, especially if like a girlfriend is getting into gaming for the first time and you don't want to buy six hundred dollars worth of games the first night, it's like here's three thousand dollars worth of good games that are all free. See what you like. You know, it's it's great for eight bucks a month. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And I don't want to lie by oblivion for a third or fourth time, whatever it is.

I wonder if they'll. I don't know. I hope that they really, really support it a lot and that it gets really popular. I can't imagine it not like how is this something that you see as like a guaranteed big time success for Bethesda? Really? No, no. It's a little nostalgia bait. They need to release their next game that we've been waiting. I'm tired. Oh, what are they going to do?

I don't care about this. This is so this is such a little deal to me. We're waiting on the next Elder Scrolls game, you know? That's what we're waiting on. I guess to me, this is new. It's a 20-year-old video game that they're remastering. They've been remastering their 12-year-old video game for the last 12 years. I'm waiting on a new video game. That Skyrim you're talking about yeah yeah yeah they have been hanging their hat on that for too long yeah I was in knowledge when that came out I think when you've got games like I don't know Baldur's Gate and Elden Ring that are giving tons of free content and not fucking people over and

then you're gonna have games like Grand Theft Auto that might be expensive but it's truly a quadruple a title that Elder Scrolls 6 is gonna look like like an old game right out of the right out of the chute. I think that's why Half-Life 3 never came out because I know I'm almost positive they were working on it because I saw leaks and I think they're like we'll just never hit expectations with this. Decided not to play instead of lose. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I'm tired of the remasters.

I just don't care. This is neat. It's good that this happened because people can play that part of the game, but it's not going to be like an online sensation that people are playing over and over and everything. It doesn't have a ton of replayability, if you ask me. I don't know.

We'll see. Yeah. Well, to me, it's a brand new game. So I was going to say, yeah, yeah, like I'm in Taylor's boat, not with oblivion necessarily, but I got this Elden Ring addiction, which turned into a broader Souls addiction. And all of a sudden there's this library of like 10 games to go through each of them, at least 50 hours, sometimes triple that. And I'm like, damn, I got stuff to do. I just beat Liza P and I just beat Kazan in the last like two weeks or so. Both of them are dropping DLC next month. So that's a thing.

And what's next? I got a list of five things I might do next. I haven't decided yet. What's on the short list? Do any of them involve multiplayer? Say that again? Do any of them involve multiplayer? Say that again. Do any of them involve multiplayer? One of them. Lords of the Fallen is a Souls-like game that just came. So Lords of the Fallen came

out and it was kind of mid. It came out maybe two years ago and they didn't hit the bullseye they were aiming for. And everyone was mad and they said it was kind of clunky and it was bad and whatever. Well, they've done 50 updates since then. It's kind of that. What was that? No man's sky. I forget. There was another game where it dropped and everyone's like, this is big, open, empty bullshit kind of sucks. And it turned into a really good game in the end. I think that's the arc that Lord to the fallen is trying to do. Like, look, I know we didn't hit it like we said we would, but we haven't stopped. Oh, this looks great.

They're calling it Lords of the Fallen 2.0. And not only have they changed like a ton of stuff where your character's snappier and responds better and the combat's improved, but now it has what Elden Ring would call seamless co-op where you and another person can play as a pair the entire way. And you're like, whose game is it? Both.

Both of you get progression in your character. There's a rule you have to be like within one boss plus or minus of each other, but, but you and another person can play the whole thing as a duo. So that's a possibility that I might do. That looks really good. I just skipped through that, that little video there, just the environment and the character and the way he moves around, it looks real good. So that's on the list. Jedi Fallen Order is a Souls-like

in the Star Wars universe. And I think it's easier than the ones I've played. And a little part of me is like, I would like to not play the hardest game that's come out in the last decade for a change. You know, like, it might be nice to just walk through something and not think I'm bad. So there's that. Surge to black myth wukong or I might have that reverse back. Wukong myth. I don't know that

one, the monkey one. Yeah, in the last one, I'm beating Elden Ring at level one. And so I have this character who I've never leveled up a single time and I've taken it all the way to the final boss I only have one boss left and a lot of people in my chat are like what do you finish the room level one run and it's like a mark of like being an elite souls player to beat it with game without leveling up. So I might finish that run. Nice.

That's like you're just at that point you're one hit by everything. So it's like you can't get hit. You can't get hit. And like, you know, you can imagine a boss health bar when I hit it. It doesn't go down an entire pixel all the time. Sometimes it takes two hits to move a pixel. Ah, that's a lighter shade of red, you can tell.

No, it's not. The damage I do is so minimal. It will be. Like when you're downloading a game and you can't tell if it's even going anymore so you put your finger over it to try and see if there's any movement. Put your mouse right over there. You gave a cursor. Did that move? No, my eyes are playing tricks on me.

Yeah. Damn, well, you're elite. Normally, I would push back on that, but it's been my day. It's been my day. Today, I am. Yeah. And everyone's having good news in the gaming sphere. Baldur's Gate.

OK, tell me about the what happened. Did new players sphere. Baldur's Gate. OK, tell me about the what happened. Did new players drop in Baldur's Gate, new content, new places to go? Did you say there was something new? Subclasses. So like just just new just new characters, essentially like like not storyline, but new abilities, new ways to play the character, new new magics and abilities added to different characters, different path lines to take. So you can be a barbarian before,

but now you can be a different kind of barbarian. You can be a giant barbarian now that kicks things and throws magic hatchets at things. So there's a lot. So for a player like you, and I mean this in a good way, like an addict. Sure. Are these subclasses like interesting stuff or?

Yeah. It is, okay. It's a different enough to capture your attention. One of the things I like doing is there's tons of items in the game. Your character wears like obviously armor, a helmet, a cape, boots, gloves, two rings and a necklace. Each of those have a magical property

that can interact with one another. And I like finding ways to synergize those and make them do things, make everything click together and take advantage of, oh, this makes people vulnerable to this. So let's use this on that. And I like making a really strong party. I I've been having a lot of good, a lot of fun with the new subclasses, but I think I want to beat the game with one character.

That's probably the next thing I'm going to do. Oh, try to try to be with one. Normally you have your character and then like three friends. Three. Yeah, we beat it with three recently really easily. I don't I don't think it's going to be hard to do it with two, but one's going to be difficult. I'll have to there'll be some learning happening to get it with one. Rune level one challenge of Baldur's Gate, right? Everyone scaled for four attackers and you're soloing it. Yeah. Yeah There'll be a lot of a AOE and a lot of hiding or something like that. I'm sure Okay, cool. It's a good game, but and they're done with it. I think I think this was their last like

Burst of content now, they're working on their next project. I think they moved on to whatever Baldur's Gate for or whatever the next thing that takes too long to make a video game. It's my interest lasts six to nine months. So I'll accept every year. Yeah. But you guys taking five years to make a game. I don't know that I'll be 57 for.

Well, can I? Well, I've been arthritic at the time. When does this game coming out? You got to be doing some mental math now where you're like, Oh, I don't think GTA seven is in the cards for me. Colin, I want you to promise me. So my final words,

rape the whore, get your money back. You have to do it in the back of a taxi. I saw someone abuse the effect that like after you have sex with her, she gets out the passenger side no matter what. So they park on the side of a cliff. So every time you can imagine the uproar, if and I don't think it looks like it's going to be a good game, but imagine if GTA six like is straight up bad, like they change the stuff people love. It sucks.

Like that'll be the biggest disappointment in game history. Oh, I agree. I mean, if GTA six isn't one of the best games ever to come out, it's going to be like every Star Wars release in my life. You know, where's with the exception of the first one where. And there'll be those people who pretend and there'll be shills that pretend. And then it'll take two years for everyone to agree that it's actually bad. Yeah. Two billion dollars dumped into a game. That's a it's crazy expensive. Like I said, that's what a b2 bomber costs Yeah, I

Googled that to like fact-check it and it was true. I just forgot the number in the mean fucking crazy. Yeah Rumor that everyone agrees. I yeah, I think it's public information or something. Crazy expensive. I can't imagine how many individuals that is like spread across, like how many developers are working and coders and artists and what have you. But just two billion is such an enormous amount of money. What would they make Oppenheimer for? You know, like I feel like you could make an incredible movie

for a couple hundred million. Obviously, obviously games, just a completely different thing. But yeah, movies should be cheaper than games. Yeah. Yeah. With the exception of the, as I, it's hard to put up, even the actors don't make that much. You know, like I think Robert Downey Jr. got paid like a million dollars to do Spider-Man and it was just one scene.

Which sounds expensive, but in the context of a billion, that's one one thousandth of the cost. Even actors aren't that, $20 million for an actor's performance is cheap in the context of a big game. Anyway, I think games are more complicated and should cost more to make than movies. For sure.

Yeah, especially if it's like a very CGI reliant movie. It's like, well, now you're both just making images with computers, but one of them has to be interactive and engaging. Yeah, you're just making cut scenes. What's the big deal about this? Yeah, you just have to have Gandalf, like looking at a green screen and like crying

in the middle of filming The Hobbit. You've heard that story, right, Kyle? Oh, of course. Yeah, it was like this isn't acting. You had like a breakdown on The Hobbit because the entire movie was like green screen CGI and so like instead of him acting because he's like a classically trained, fantastic actor. They're just like, all right, now look over there and imagine a beautiful

backdrop of mountains and then on the left on the East Sea and all of your dwarf friends and elves have arrived he's like how many are there 37 and what are their names again actually gamdolf mobo is to your left that's bobo lately you got in mind like like it would be hard enough if there were actually actors. Oh, yeah. You're like trying to make eye contact with like a just a piece of a green screen. Like they put they put an X on it, a little green X. And that's where you have to pretend you're having like a really impassioned conversation with your dwarf companion. Every now and then you'll see they've got the actor, like the motion cap guy inside the monster

suit crawling around like smiegled in Like I would need that I would like like like you know, I need something coming at me So I'm like moving as you see like those old sharknado movies And there's one called birdemic the birdemic and they're like swatting at birds that aren't there with like Weapons and then they put the birds in after the fact After the fact so the effect is that you know, they're just swinging it air and there's birds swarming around. It doesn't look good there. I saw one of the like the behind the scenes clips from Planet of the Apes.

And it's like a bunch of guys in Andy's circus outfits, like grimacing and being like, and it's like their face isn't going to be in it. But I appreciated that. I'm like, yeah, you know, get, get in the mindset of an ape, get, eee, and it's like their face isn't gonna be in it, but I appreciated that. I'm like, yeah, you know, get in the mindset of an ape, get mad, get feral. The tech for those is really good. I never got into the new planet apes, quadrilogy or whatever it is,

but every movie they did a better job of making those apes look seamlessly real to the point where you just accept that that's a real thing. It's its own thing now. At no point are you like, eh, it doesn't, no, it looks real. It looks better than real somehow. They did a great job. They did do a great job.

I should watch this. I don't think I've seen them all. They're good. The first one's got James Franco in it, and then I think there's a trilogy after that where each one one the world is further into the shithole and the apes have like taken another step up and evolutionarily sort of like gotten their shit together. But I haven't seen them all. I think I've seen one or two,

something like that. I was at my grandma's house with my brother and our girlfriends and some family for Easter over this past weekend and had a great time catching up a little bit of overeating, mayhaps watching the blues lose. And my grandma sent me home with just a crazy amount of ribs to send one person home with a barbecue ribs. And so for the last, like I went home Sunday, almost all the food I ate Sunday were these ribs. And then yesterday I had to get through the ribs. It was too much to waste. I wasn't about to throw that amount of food away. And so like, this is the first day where I

were the bulk of my calories hasn't been from pork ribs in like three days. And like I woke up this morning and like farted and it was like so it was so rants. They didn't feel like a bad fart. It was just a normal silent but deadly fart. But it was like farted under my covers. When I pulled the covers off to go pee, it was like I made myself almost gag. And my head, I'm like, am I getting sick? It was like, no, it's a little woozy. You've been eating nothing but like eggs and ribs for three days. Stop eating eggs and ribs. No more eggs. You need some fiber. He's burned a hole in his bedsheet. Basically, yeah. My only fiber has been from like popcorn and cucumbers the past couple days. It's fiber. He's burned a hole in his bed sheet. Basically, yeah. My only fiber has been from like popcorn

and cucumbers the past couple of days. It's been a- You don't have fiber in them? Cucumbers have a ton of fiber. Do they? It just seems like a water tube to me. No, it's like- Usually fruits do, right?

It's vegetable, nothing but fiber, yeah. Whereas cucumber, one of those where they're like, it's actually a fruit. Is that right? I think fruit- I think of it as a vegetable. I do too, but I don't know if I'm a trick. One of those things where they're like, yeah, it's actually a fruit. Is that right? I think I think of it as a vegetable. I do, too. But I don't know. One of those things is it fruit or vegetable like is not a classification at all. It's just a thing people say.

Oh, I still appreciate it. Would not say fruit or vegetable. So I know tomatoes are fruits, but that just doesn't doesn't make sense. It makes sense, but I don't like thinking of it as a fruit fruit, something you just eat by itself. That makes me a little weird. So like, why don't they call ketchup is jam then? Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is. Because it is just it's just tomato jam with a lot of salt.

And sugar. There's so much sugar in it. I think it's technically soda in your parts of Europe. Really? Yeah. How do you get the soda in there? It's a freak. It's sweetened fruit juice And I think it's technically a soda there. Nah, something's not a soda unless it's carbonated in my head. Oh I looked up the fruit thing. I think I was wrong By a tennis real a fruit is a ripened ovary of a flowering plant containing seeds and a vegetable is any other part of a plant that's edible

such as leaves, stems or roots. Okay. So yeah, fruits are the good ones and vegetables you have to usually add a little something to to make them good. Like you gotta roast them with garlic to make Brussels them good. Like you got to roast them with garlic to make Brussels sprouts good. You can't just eat Brussels sprouts plain. That would be disgusting. What's garlic? What do you mean? I think it's just fruit or a vegetable. I mean,

it's a plant. It's got to be something, right? It is. That's true. Is it an herb? So that's a bulb. So that's like it's, it's seed pod. So. So that wouldn't be the ovary. So then it would be a vegetable or an herb if an herb is different from those things. Right. Isn't it the ripened thing that you pick off like the stem?

No, the garlic is a root vegetable. It's like a bulb under the ground. Well it's a root closer to like a potato or a carrot. So I guess a vegetable. Yeah. Zack said root vegetable. It's like a bulb under the ground. It's a root closer to like a potato or a carrot. So I guess a vegetable. Yeah, Zach said root vegetable. I think that's correct because it's growing. It's a root. We got to the bottom of it. Well, that's what you do with roots. This is important.

People tune in to get these facts straight. Some guys sitting in his car. No, no, no. That's not a fruit or vegetable. Fruit expert here. Yeah, I need to be off the ribs for a while. No more. She just sent me home with so much that I I was eating like a whole rack of ribs.

Are there any other three days in a row? Are there any other Easter specific festivities? Is there is there an egg hunt? Is there an impromptu football game? Anything like that that that real families do they don't know about? An impromptu football game? No. My grandparents wouldn't want to play. No, it's mostly just like sitting around and like reminiscing and chatting. And we eat a bunch of food that my grandma makes. And then like my grandpa, you know, sits on the couch and plays solitaire on an iPad and puts on professional bull riding. And then we just like chat and hang out.

He'll he'll drop some wisdom on me sometimes. It's a good time. I love hanging out with my grandparents. They're good folks. What are your brothers built like? I'm curious. Are they kind of comparable to you, strong? I'm the, like the broadest,

the list of our builds. My youngest brother is the tallest. He's like probably six, almost six, two or so. More of a swimmer archetype. But he's leaner than me, yeah. But he's been lifting a lot recently. I got him on the lifting grind, so he's been beefing up a bit.

And then my middle brother is like probably 5'11". And then he's like smaller build. He was always the most athletic of us by a lot. He could just play any sport in any business. I was like excellent at a couple of sports and really just goalie, like, cause I had good hand eye coordination. It was very flexible. Uh, and I, I did better than people might not that I was some expert, but like all

the other kids really had trouble keeping their bearings and saying, staying square to the net when you're not looking at it, but I did better with that. And that's a big part of being goalie. But my my middle brother could just any like he was the quarterback in high school and he was like on the hockey team and he was on like he could do baseball, whatever sport he was incredible at. So he was you start playing all in shockingly. He's good the first time he's there. Yeah.

Yeah. So I always, I had to like flee into hockey and be like, I could be the best at this, that don't involve catching or throwing this limiting it quite a bit. If I don't keep stopping this puck, my dad's not going to love me. Oh, Mr. Lexon on me. He's going to drop me like a bad investment and just focus on the other one. Yeah, I'll be a sunk cost. But yeah. Were you the more athletic between you and your brother or was he the more athletic one? It was me. Yeah. He, my brother was always, he struggled with body fat and I didn't.

That's always, did you like, was that a point that you would give a shit? I am so much more athletic than him as an adult. Dude, so my brother got cancer and it was bone cancer in his leg and the fix for it was like, it wasn't an amputation in that they cut the bone in the middle of his thigh in the middle of his shin and replace that but surgically it's similar to an amputation and they replace that with a titanium knee with

the bone at the top and bottom that they made just for him but one of the side effects of chemo is cancer so he got lung. So this poor guy who walks with a cane lost one of his lungs. So yeah, I'm the athlete. What he's always telling me with foot races and stuff. Come on, race you to the front step. Here comes my shit head brother, Matthew. He's always high kneeing it into my house. You notice I'm not out of breath? Come on, five up dabs, let's go! How you feeling about like burpees?

Probably pretty bad. Did you give him, was that like a point when you guys would argue when you were younger where you'd go at him for being like, yeah, well, you're fat. No, no, no. I don't think I ever pulled that card. No. Yeah. Yeah. All the stories of brothers getting in crazy fights still blows my mind.

I thought that was a Hollywood thing until I saw a couple of my friends who I'm still very close with get in a real fist fight while I was at their house, which I thought was a rude time to do it. But like me and my brother, like never that part of it was, I was just too big compared to them because I was very large for my age and my younger brother, year and a half younger was very small. And so like it just like there's pictures of us where like I'm 12 and he's 10 and it looks like

a 15 year old and a, like a 15 year old and a seven year old. Where like- Was part of it your parents being like, just expecting you not to use this physical advantage? Yeah, yeah, I think that, but also it, there was rare that I hurt him on purpose. Rare as in like one, I think the only time, even when I tied him up in that wagon and pushed him down the hill,

I just wanted to see how fast he would go. I didn't want him to like hit that tree and get hurt. Yeah, the only time I ever like hit him was like I was like 16 and driving us both back from school. We were like in a yelling argument over some probably something retarded, no idea. And I was driving and I was just so fucking mad at him. And it was just me and him in the car. And he was yelling at me and I was yelling at him. he was in the passenger seat and I just like as hard as I could just

boom just like fired a punch like right just tried to dead arm him. You're on the wheel and you popped him? I popped him so hard dead armed him right in the right in the meat of the arm up there and like it was one of those punches where as soon as I like felt how hard I'd hit him, I was like that was that was over the line. How hard I got used to every bit. And I was a big 16 year old and he just immediately was like, Oh, I was like driving, driving my dad's Jeep and I'm like, I'm sorry. I should have done that. I should have done that.

OK, I'm sorry. It was really hard. Are you OK? I'm sorry. Giant bruised on his whole arm. Yeah, I felt I felt bad about my brother could beat me, but it wasn't like not not unless he tried his hardest. And this is like when we're younger, but I was like annoying and maybe I do well, like one in 10 times, something like that.

So it wasn't like it was impossible, but I didn't have parental protection from like the older brother bullying situation. And I didn't like it and I'd stand up for myself, but I wasn't always successful. And to illustrate the parental protection thing, one time I was probably being annoying and my mother pulled the coffee table

to the side of the room so that my brother would have a better arena in which to teach me my lesson. I'm like, fuck, it's hard being the young one around here. And I didn't learn any lessons. I probably was a slow learner. I didn't get physically bullied at all. The only time I could think of it is my dad. I must have been 12 years old or so.

And my dad had, which would have made, yeah, my dad's in his late thirties. And so like looking at that perspective now and like being in my thirties and like having friends in their late thirties, like at 12, like looking at them, I'm like, these are like bona fide real deal adults. But like he had a friend over who like lived in Florida

and I guess they were like raucous college buddies. And it was like a Tuesday night school night, but he and his friends went out and got hammered. And my dad wasn't that drunk. My dad's friend was fucking like blackout drunk the way like a college kid would get, like slurring, but you know, just like good natured fun. And he like hadn't seen me in years

and like burst into my room, this drunk man. I didn't know. And I was like in the middle of the night sleeping. And he just like burst into my room. He's like, let me see where Taylor's at. And I was like, he like jumped on top of me on the bed and was like buffing me up as like people not like hitting me me but like shoving me around bouncing me like like manhandling me.

Yeah having some good-natured fun and I was like like just still like barely awake. Just like I hated it and my dad had him like all right all right let's calm this down but he's like he wouldn't get off me for a while. He was really ruined my night's sleep, scared the shit out of me. Oh, wow. Burst into my room, hammered, screaming. I didn't say anything. No, you had no idea who that was.

Do you think JD Vance might have taken the pope out? Oh, maybe like Trump sends his regards. You know, I sent that meme. Oh, maybe like Trump sends his regards. I sent that meme. He hit him with the vampiric touch where he, yeah, energy. Yeah. Yep. I, the Pope dying, it seems, I mean, it makes sense cause he was like an 88 year old man with pneumonia, but they had just had a story of like,

the Pope seems to be on the mend. And then, you've been out the next day, the day before in the Pope mobile, you know, blessing the, the, the filth and, uh, here comes JD Vance into town. Next thing you know, guys out. And now what are they saying? We're going to get a better pope. I'm here and we're going to get a whiter pope, maybe a pope that, uh, that doesn't think God's go to dogs, go to heaven. All right heaven? Alright, dogs can't go to heaven. What are you talking about, pope? This current pope is an asshole. He's just like, oh, anything and everything, whatever. I would have known he was a Catholic pope. Yeah, that is weird. It's like if I were the head of a Hindu church, I would never be like, you know, it's kind of like matter of opinion. This is to is to say be nice and like fuck off, whatever.

My opinion, Christianity is like change the rules over time forever. So to change the rules to stop them from like losing popularity and getting minimalized in the corner is not a bad thing. If they, for example, if they go hard on that no condoms rule, like even in marriage, no condoms. I'm like, you're just making it hard

for people to follow you too hard. We're making them more Catholics. Yeah, they do. I do hear your point there, but like, you know, so in the same way that we kind of ignore that thing about mixing textiles in our outfits, maybe we can shove some other rules into that corner as well.

That's my take on it, but that's not a surprising take from me. No dogs in heaven, you goofball. I want them to go too. I want to go. First of all, there's no people in heaven. I'd be fine with the dogs being allowed. Good dogs, not pit bulls. If God said there were, but God let us know the dogs can't go to heaven. It's in the

Bible. So it's very clear. Is it in the Bible that dogs don't go to heaven? No. All dogs go to heaven is common knowledge. It's in the fear. It's a fucking TV movie. It's a movie. It was a good movie. It's a good movie. I cry every time. I rest every time.

I rest my case. Yep. Yeah. I mean, my- Can you tell me that cartoon's not true? That documentary I saw about dogs going to heaven. Yeah, they said a pretty cocksure about it. Yeah, I do that.

My Catholic friends have not liked him, that Pope, but they're also not like celebrating the pope dying. They're like, oh man, well that's really sad. You know, he was the pope, we ought to respect him. Hopefully the new one I like more. Two of my Catholic buddies were telling me they were like hoping for that black pope to get the reins because they're like this guy, this guy's going to bring the church back to traditionalism and where it needs to be. And I just, I like this Robert Sarah guy, the black guy, he'd be the first black, but they, they didn't seem to be bothered by the black part of it. They were just like, yeah, traditional

Catholic. Yeah. Are there any Americans on the list? Oh, I don't know. Apparently this pope, like that, like cavalcade or whatever that like picks the next pope, like this last pope who just died picked a lot of the people that are currently deciding. And so I see a lot of people saying it's gonna be a guy similar to him, but I don't think there are any Americans

in the list at all. I think it would be good for the world because I think Americans would pay more attention to American popes and maybe some of the Christian morality would influence America more if the Pope was American. Yeah, that could be Americans pay more attention to the world cup when the team makes it like the same thing would be true I think I was thinking about that. You're right because I've never I don't know if Pope John Paul even spoke English I that guy never spoke enough English for me to ever hear it or know what he was even talking about me, too

Yeah, if he did speak English, so no my Trump maybe get a Trump Pope. That's what y'all Dad side of the family is very Catholic and I remember as a kid Pope John Paul was the the Pope and like my grandma like fucking loved Pope John Paul My aunts my uncles my grandma grandparent like they they were all about Pope John Paul And then when he died and the next one came in, they like had an attitude where they're like, he's he's no fucking John Paul. The next one after John Paul was kind of the hard line.

Benedict, maybe sound right. I think you're just there for a little bit, right? Like, I can't remember what he did. He like quit or something. Yeah, it turns out I guess it's unusual for them to wait. Do they normally die in? Oh, let's see. Percent of popes have abdicated? Yeah, it's like they like borderline never happens.

Like they stay until one pope sold the pope ship to a rich guy and then came back. And then once he was on better financial footing, came back and bought it back from a couple of years later and became pope again. Do you think he got the terrible again. He was a terrible boat. He was a terrible boat. Did you estimate the year on that? Like, do you have any?

My best literal guess would be around the year. 737. I have no idea. Did anyone lead none? Oh, okay, no, no, no. Yeah, you've got it narrowed down to 2000 years. He's the only one who sold the Pope hoods. If you Google that, you get him right away.

I think he's also the same pope who dug up the previous pope out of his grave and then dressed the corpse up and put the corpse on a chair on trial and had it cross examined, found guilty and then sentenced and punished. He threw the corpse into the river. I don't know if they ever recovered that pope because he was tossed into all those cardinals in the cathedral had to have been like, we should have picked a different guy. Kyle, the guy that you're talking about died in 1055, so close enough for me. 1055. And one would guess that he did it in like the 1030s 1050s. I

don't know. I was like going through because I was the Pope just died. So I like just got a desire to look through and just like nothing no deep dive, just Wikipedia going back all the way to St. Peter, like the first Pope, and then just going to like, you know, succeeded by, you know, this guy, and then succeeded by this guy. And like, it's crazy, like the early popes, 80% of them. It's like, he did his best to spread, you know, the teachings of Jesus and the church in Antioch.

and the church in Antioch. And after four years, he was tortured to death and murdered by the Persian warlord, Mahmoud or something. And it's like, just like rapid succession popes, because they were all getting killed. And then you get up to like the 1400s and stuff. You get up to like what I imagine is like the Pope Hey Day, where like, you've got all the storied history of the beginning popes and like now you've got a big following of Catholics, and they've got like real deal power like you're the Pope in the year 1200. Like kings are like, we got to, you know, I you know, France, we here in England, we hate you too. And we want to go to war with you. But we do both have to check with, you know, this guy and make sure that he's okay with it and make sure he's not going to expressly pick a side because if he does, the person whose side he picks is,

you know, not, it's not looking good for us. So like, we need to make sure he's not going to enter in. Yeah. And that Marco Polo show, the like, like Genghis Khan's, or Kubla Khan, it's his grandson's issue isn't with the king of Florence or the king of England or France. It's with the Pope And they like like he's the leader that he had he has like issue with he's the one who can send a crusade of Christians to the to the east if he wants to crusades are crazy crusades are awesome history they're pretty like like Crusades are crazy. Crusades are awesome history. Like those popes would promise that all your sins would be forgiven and you would go to heaven if you just went and fought for him.

And everyone was, they believed it. So they went. Just like the population shrinkage during that time, that and the black plague. Oh, I watched a really cool thing about dog DNA in the US. So just like the Europeans coming over introduced diseases that killed like 90% of the North American Indians, the numbers are as high as 100 million before we got here. 10 to 100 million is the estimate. Same thing happened with their dogs. All of the dogs that were here were killed by our dog diseases that came over with our dogs.

There's almost no DNA left in North American dogs that was that OG North American DNA. It's just the Northern breeds like the Malibuats and the Huskies. And the Chihuahua is supposedly an OG breed, but when they check its DNA, all of its DNA is European DNA. I think it was interesting some of the uses

the ancients had for the Chihuahua. They would put it against a wound while you slept, this little hot water heater, and make you feel better. But also they would eat them. They would raise them for food the same way they would guinea pigs. It was this tiny little-

What a useless, that's the worst kind of dog to raise my food. False, false. Okay, well, look, you slaughter a big dog, you can't even eat the whole thing, what a waste. Little dogs, each one is its own little fricacy. I mean, I think I could eat a, you know, like, like we live in a community, right? Today, your dog, tomorrow, mine. The whole litters of chihuahuas will be everywhere. But you see it more as like,

you know, like a rotisserie chicken. Yeah, that's what I always say. Like if things went terrible, I wouldn't eat my big dog because I'd have all this meat going bad. I'd eat my smallest dog and then work up. That that makes way more sense. The big dog probably has utility to maybe he'd be scary. You know, I wouldn't want to have to tangle with him if I was all if there was also a human hitting me with a stick. It would definitely add something to the fight. He's got big, scary teeth, too.

But yeah, I'd eat the little one first. But yeah, all the American dogs are wiped out. They were, there are depictions of them. They're like paintings and drawings of the OG dog breeds that the Indians had. But they're all gone. Tanner Iskra I want to see a good painting. Any cave painting that I look at and I'm like, whoa, because it's all trash. None of them are good. They use those cave paintings that to determine that those ancient lions didn't have mains because it has a bank and that forward to tailor someday having children. I want to see him walk the halls of fourth grade and just be like, trash drawings. This is all trash derivative.

drawings. This is all trash. Derivative. I'm not scared of this monster at all. Commercial garbage. Oh sure. Big eyes on antenna. Is that your idea? You want this on my fridge? Nah. No sir or ma'am. You gotta step up to the plate. I'll put it inside the fridge so no one sees it. Yeah, those cave paintings are trash. And that's hilarious if we're like, we're almost positive that lions of old did not have manes based on this drawing by a guy with two teeth and who had just, who was still out of breath from running away from a tiger.

I don't know why you wouldn't trust his drawing of the lion. You got a good look at the thing. Well, I mean, I wouldn't, it's like, it's maybe like using deviant art and being like, Oh, I guess back in the 21st century, they had lizards who would swallow people whole sexually. Well, they don't have any really tentacles back in the day. They were really in.

They're going to attribute that to all of us instead of just cooks. So I don't know about that unless a bunch of different cave drawings where they are drawing lions the same way. I'd be like, OK, there are. They also found human footprints in New Mexico that are older than they ever thought possible. They thought that humans earliest would be 15,000 years ago in that region, but these are 26,000 year old human footprints in New Mexico.

I wonder how you date footprint. I understand carbon dating, right? Apparently it's carbon and bones and there are certain kind of thing and it goes away at a very steady predictable rate. So you can see how much is there and how long it's been degrading like that. But footprints, like they're just impressions in rocks. Like I could make a footprint. They carbon dated the the seeds that were present inside the mud in the footprints. But how did?

So the seeds they think were 26,000 years old when when because I see what he's saying where it's like, well, we know this is a 26,000 year old footprint because the dirt is 26,000 years old. And it's like, all right, the dirt in my yard is old shit. Like, exactly right. Like, is there not some the dirt could be new right but if you were to like make an impression in something rocky or whatever then like that rock could be really old they're durable yeah I don't get scientists seem

seem pretty sure but I'm trying to understand incentivized to have bold findings right if I say hey, I found a footprint, but there's really nothing interesting about it, then I don't get anything. But if I can claim that it's the oldest footprint to have ever been created and humans were like, this changes everything we knew, then suddenly I'm kind of special.

I think they also found an arrow kit. So they had the wooden arrows preserved in this cave that had been closed off by a landslide. I think those were a similar age. That seems like a way better bit of evidence than the footprint. But I also don't know how the footprint thing works. Stuff like this gets undone all the time. Okay, we found a new bone.

We don't recognize this bone. This is probably a new animal that's never been discovered before. I'm a big deal. And then later on they're like, that, we found a new bone. We don't recognize this bone. This is probably a new animal that's never been discovered before. I'm a big deal. And then later on they're like, that's a rabbit. Yeah, it was like the dinosaur people, who knows if they're still doing it now. In like the 1800s, where like exactly what you said, they'd find like some jawbone that looked crazy.

And they'd be like, I drew what I extrapolated from this jawbone. It's like this like alarming giant lizard. And then like four years later, some rival paleontologist is like, guys, it's a fucking, it's a ram. It's the jaw of a ram. And then he added these, like what the fuck is that?

There's a bunch of hoodwinking. And so I think- Yeah, I found a tooth. This is how I imagine the rest of the whale. It's like, what? I just made the rest up. Yeah, that was disappointing. Like learning how much of some of the dinosaurs

are extrapolated. But how they actually had feathers and are just predecessors. That remains to be seen, but that remains to be seen. They're cool lizards. So they not only aged the seeds, but also pollen. And they also use this technique where they optically stimulate

the luminescence of quartz crystals that were found fossilized within the footprint horizon. So in the same level of dirt to date them. So they've got two different aging techniques coming to the same conclusion. Like two different techniques. Evidence depends on paleontologists knowing more about paleontology than us. And that can't be.

I don't like it. I don't like paleontology at all. No, no, no, no. I have a podcast that makes me a subject matter expert on whatever comes up. Riddle me this, do I have a vested financial interest in that discovery or do they have a vested financial interest in

that discovery? What if you're what if these are your ancestors and technically now you own a little land in New Mexico little part of my tune will change. Now I'm going to open a fucking casino and wear Now I'm going to open a fucking casino and wear feathers. Whoa. Just get my voice over. Get really offensive. That'd be the best.

I would totally like meld into that culture. If I had done my ancestry and they were like 47% Native American. Dude, those tribal leaders aren't 47% Native American. I'd slide right in there and take over. Oh, 100%. I'd immediately be online posting like, you can't begin to know the troubles of my people. Slavery was nothing. Like, you're just saying shit like that. Just immediately join the fucking tragedy Olympics.

I'd be like their Luke Skywalker character. I'm unaffected by alcohol like like they would like waft it in front of me and I wouldn't fall to my knees. Oh he is unaffected by the great evil. No that's when you finally would get like as soon as you find out you're Indian now you can't stop with the grand gala. You start making a bunch. I take everything I have for some beads. How did the Blues just play one playoff game so far? They played two and they're down 0-2, but they've been they've been really, really good games, like very close.

So it's not over. One game coming up, right? I assume games coming up. Yeah. Yeah, they got they lost both on the road. I really want them to win at least two because game six would be back here and it would be awesome to be able to go to game six. That would be a lot of fun.

So I'm just hoping they can bring it to six. That way I can go to the game. But it's not looking great right now. Jets are the best team in the league and the Blues are like the last team in like the barely. Blues were the best team in April. That's true. Yeah. And they still look way better. They're not as bad as they were the start of the year. Like having this new coach showed they're not like a bottom feeder team, but also like just watching them against an actual contender. Like the Jets is like, you can just tell like our bottom

six, our third and fourth line for Kyle's benefit are just bad. Like, and if you want a championship team, like you have to have a deep team that you trust, like to keep it rolling all game. And that's what, you know, the capitals, the, the jets, the, uh, Vegas, they all have that. I'd like to see a Canadian team win this year. Like the Leafs would be awesome because those guys have been through so much shit in Toronto for so many years. Like it'd be nice or Edmonton. That would be fun too. I just don't want to see, uh, Vegas or Winnipeg or actually I don't even care about Winnipe Vegas or Winnipeg. Actually, I don't even care about Winnipeg.

Winnipeg will do too. That's just sour grapes because they're beating us right now. Yeah, I'd rather not see. And also, I'm not to the point yet that my sadness for Minnesota fans makes me want to see them get one. They're going to have a few more games. They're in the NBA playoffs too. Yeah, they're in the NBA playoffs. Game two is tonight against the Lakers, we will see. Yeah. one you know they they gonna have a few there then be a playoffs game twos tonight against the Lakers we will see yeah going to try to watch

this shit did they they lost bad I think I know they lost I don't know how bad yeah I'm hearing John Jones agreed to Aspen all by the way I would love that it might be surprised. Yeah, yeah, it might be more bullshit, but but last I heard it's like agreed to. Chael is one of the sources I heard from. So you guys liked him. He we like him and I enjoy his untrue stories. But he is a famous liar.

He will tell you straight up that he alters the things he says for entertainment value, that that is where his priorities lie. And- This would be a bald-faced lie. But I, that wouldn't be his first. So yeah, I've looked up bald-faced and bold-faced and apparently they're both correct. So, um, yeah, I've looked up bald face and bold face and apparently they're both correct. So anyway, bold is much more correct. It has to be. It makes bold is the original.

And then bold became like the old face. So, so you're not even to hide your, your, your Twitch with a beard. Is that, is that what we're the con or we're saying? So like you're not even a lie to me without a beard to even hide the lie Like I said, it's old-time old-faced lies like yeah, you're black. Trust me I'm giving you the bold face and it's clearly a lie. That's a bold-faced life. It's the same thing as like like buck naked Became butt naked for a lot of people but it's like you're naked as a, I guess a bird forest, Jay bird naked as Jay bird.

Lots of ways to be naked in the South. I feel like a birds aren't particularly naked nor bucks. They're naked on the slacks on. Yeah. It's a lot of like that Southern saying wisdom. Not so much wisdom as saying I guess naked mole rat That's naked. That is naked her that's a horrid animal I found out we were doing anything to those other than testing mascara on their bare That's what I want done to naked mole rats

Using fucking arsenic lipsticks on them. Well, yeah, I tell you, it's time for dinner. I'm still glowing from being a very good gamer today. Hell yeah. I was. I was the best me that I've been in quite some time. All right. BKN 557.