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PKN 558, how you boys doing?
Like girlfriend brought,
I was just saying my girlfriend brought home
that really fancy box of cookies.
And like each one is a special, different kind of cookie.
And each one has been hand decorated clearly.
I'm like, oh, she's not even here
to tell me if I can eat these.
What the, may hope they're not for something.
Yeah, let me try.
I don't know, it was just as hard as a rock.
They were dog cookies.
They were dog cookies.
Oh, that's great. They were't know. It's just hard as a rock. There were dog cookies. There are dogs that are like Bow Wow's cookie
Emporium on the back of the box, and I didn't really click carefully enough.
They were hard, but afterwards, my teeth were kind of clean.
Well, I was shaking like a toothbrush and it was bright green and it was.
Yeah, it was from Dr.
Scooby's cookie yard.
An artisan creator.
It looked just like a nice cookie.
Taylor, I've been playing a ton of oblivion.
What level are you now? 29.
Oh, shit. Oh, God.
I'm like level eight or nine or something like that.
You're way ahead of me. I've mostly.
But I've also been similar to Skyrim.
It's one of these games where if you as you're running around,
you're just casting stuff.
It levels that up.
And so this first character, I've almost been trying to power level
all the interesting attributes like I'm doing the quest, but it's like I'm just
as you walk the casting restoration.
I'm casting something to like increase my carry weight
and like ranking that up because then I get to the majors college
And there's a million new spells in this game that aren't in Skyrim
And I just wanted to like pick and choose and see which ones are good which ones aren't what's fun
So for being as high level as I am I like three missions into the main story
It's this game is it may be better than Skyrim like I'm to that point I think so too. I don't's this game is maybe better than Skyrim. Like I'm to
that point. I think so too. I don't know this game Taylor,
but I think the way you're playing it might make it a
little more comfortable the whole way through like it.
Sometimes if you just do the minimum, then you find
yourself a little under leveled and it's possible if you're
super duper skilled, but ouch and it's frustrating if you're
level 29 on Mission 3, which apparently
is a lot, I don't know, it's like it can turn it into something that's fun instead of something that's
I don't know a test. It's so it's it's actually the opposite of that in the way Oblivion does
their scaling where now when I'm showing up and the main guys like, you must go to the easy peasy cave and clear
out the rats to find the initial key. And then like I, and it's supposed to be easy peasy cave
full of rats, but I'm level, you know, 24 when I do it. And so there's like Dramora demon lords
in there. There's drag Goths. And so I went in there and like any assistance that came with me, like the like
we're here to fight alongside you, sir. There there's no time in which they're not dead.
They're all like when I go into the dungeon or whatever, they all die on the front step and then
I have to forge ahead all the way. And so like that part has made it harder on me, but I don't
really care how hard it is because it's not that like at this point, my acrobatics and athletics are so good.
Basically from from Friday afternoon, eveningish Friday afternoon, really, I was got like actually
sick like a like a cold for the first time in years.
And so this whole past weekend, oblivion mode. Like I played so much,
I couldn't have got sick at a better time.
And so I just was grinding.
And Skyrim, you can't change stuff,
like how fast you move, how high you jump.
In this game, you can, and you can cast spells.
So I have a spell now where it's like,
I cast it and I'm 150 pounds lighter,
which impacts how far you can jump
and how high you can jump.
And my acrobatics and my athletics are so high that no one in this entire world
can pick a fight with me.
They simply can't.
I can jump from the top of a mountain if I want, and like only lose a third of my
health as I fall for like five real time seconds.
And they go to like hit me and my guy, my guy is so fast that it's sometimes annoying
to like say to like walk through a building and say hi to someone.
Cause my guy just, it's so fun and you can just move off.
You can make your own spells.
And so I'm like, all right, I'm going to make, I made one called EMP where it's just an enormous
electro ball explosion over a giant area that
lasts for a few seconds. And so, but, but it's also counteracted by the fact that I
leveled so fast that this like epic spell still isn't able to clear a lot of areas unless
I go down to like a depth difficulty, then it'll, it'll clear it out. But on expert,
it's not
I'm playing on expert too. I'm, I like the difficulty scaling. I am going to download
some mods. The mod that I want is going to get rid of armor and weapon durability because
I hate repairing my armor all the time. Sometimes they beat the armor off my back. Like I'll
go in with 100 armor and they'll beat it off me. It's like, I'm still good, but I'm like,
I'm still standing. I'm like hacking my way through this whole.
They're all zeros.
And they've beaten the armor off my body and I'm still fine.
So I want to fix that.
And also some of the legendary items, they also scale with the player, but then they're locked.
So if you go get like, I think it's the Sword of Umbra.
I have that.
And now it's stuck at that level.
So when you get level 50, that sort of number is gonna suck
I want it to scale with me or to be dropped at its maximum their level on drop
Yeah, one of the five and up is the max it'll go to apparently because I have a good system now where I have
Yeah, Woody, how does end up be a max like that sounds like a minimum
So like let's say
Let's say you're a level 4 character and you decide that you really wanted this legendary sword
You could go because it's open world. You could just go to that dungeon fight through and get it, but
It would be scaled to your current level 4 and so when you're level 30 that sword isn't gonna be worth anything anymore
But if you would have got that sword at level 25, it's at its max base stats.
And so then whether you get it at 25 or 50,
and no matter what your enchantments are, it's going to scale the same.
And so for some of those really good swords, you don't want to get in the.
So if you get to 25, then there's no disadvantage to getting all your favorite gear.
Correct. Yeah, I think that's the level it is because I've got a good little,
I've got a good sword engine going right now where I use the Umbra sword and that
steals souls from people when you kill them, which fills your soul gems,
which you need to recharge your sword's power.
And so I fill up all my soul gems and then I switched to this like gold Katana
that does a bunch of fire damage, go to town, hay day. And then when that runs out, switch back to Umbra,
swashbuckling my way through.
And if I run up against some demon that I'm not tough enough to fight,
guess what? Like he can't, he can't catch me.
I just jumped to the top of the next nearest mountain.
I was doing the,
the like mechanic in this is that like portals to hell all throughout the world open up
called oblivion gates. And you have to go into this portal and
there's demons and scary like tower of like, like, in
border steel doors, tower looking stuff and towers and
mortar, all sorts of like spooky lava and things, tons of demons
and enemies. And a lot of the time, they're really kind of annoying
because it's like, oh, fuck, did I go up this staircase and down that one?
Or did I go up that one and down this one?
Because you know how it is.
I watched you do this one of your streams.
What do you get? You're like, you know what direction you're going?
And then you have a big fight that goes to four corridors.
And then you're like, oh, this quarter looks like the other three.
You think I did that? I don't buy that.
No, certainly not.
But literally I was out on it was this giant spire in the middle
with a ton of of little bridges, walkways going to other spires.
And I kept being like, I clearly need to get to that one
like 100 yards east of me and like down 10 feet.
But I could not for the life of me find out which way to go.
It's a bit of a puzzle.
I just my acrobatics was so high.
I'm like, we're going for it.
I jumped the whole way and was like, I should have done this immediately.
And then we finished it.
That's the part of Ob oblivion I don't like.
Because when I played oblivion in 2006 and seven,
one of the things that you could do is you can,
I don't remember how many rings you can wear,
but it doesn't matter.
But there was a glitch,
so you could wear infinite rings, I think.
And so I just kept making rings that buffed your like
strength and athletics and added another one
and another one and another one
and another one until your athletics is a thousand or ten thousand whatever it'd be a hundred maxed
out so like you said you're going so fast that you can sprint jump out of the cities yeah like
you'll be inside of a castle wall and you'll sprint jump out and the game doesn't have like
anything loaded for that so you're just in this green blob of a world on the outside of the castle
Anything loaded for that. So you're just in this green blob of a world on the outside of the castle I don't like it when you're too fast and to jumpy when you'd like jump like I
Don't know like a Mario character or something guys like a like I have that moon cheat on Antoni Hawk at this point
Yeah, yeah, I don't like that feel the way that the game feels when you do that
I haven't really fucked with magic too much. I've just made my guy super strong and super lucky
I really fucked with magic too much. I've just made my guy super strong and super lucky.
That's all I've really focused on is strength and luck
and heavy armor and big swords.
And I just smashed things so far.
And I've been having a blast.
Did your character move slowly, Kyle?
Sword and shield.
No, I'm fast enough.
It is pretty quick.
Yeah.
That's the like, honestly, maybe a little too quick already.
Like, I don't like that.
You were saying this the other day,
like there's a horse in the game
notoriously, and for travel, like riding around places, but
care, but Taylor's character is faster than the horse. So he
just runs
by like a huge difference. I'm, I'm two to three times faster
than a horse at this point. It's, it's too quick. Like I,
there's like puzzles in some of the dungeons where it's like, be careful, that pillar will drop into a pit of spikes if you step
on it. It's like, make that pillar five times as wide and I can clear it. Just a sprint jump,
maybe not five times, but still it's awesome so far. I'm having fun tinkering with the stats.
Is there a compass in the game?
Yeah, there's a map and something better. Let me say this.
The mini one's great.
When you're a level one and you just walk out of the cave and
the light, your eyes are a little, everything is dim.
Your eyes have to adjust to the world instantly.
You press map and you can fast travel anywhere.
Anywhere on the whole map.
You don't, you never have to walk around. I didn't like walk around. I didn't like it either
No, I didn't do it for a while. Yeah. Yeah, I I think that's a bit of a downside
They should at least make you walk the first time but right out of the gate you can fast travel. Is there any
I'm basing this on Elden ring
But like if you go to the wrong place in Elden ring, you're gonna find yourself very under leveled
Like if you just jump to the end, for example, does that happen
in oblivion or the leveling works in a different? It's all scaled. So like, oh, it's all based
on how good you are. Yeah. If you're level 50, I don't even know if you go that high
in this game, that little tiddly wink, you know, easy first, you know, cave you come
across is going to have like some heavy hitters in it.
But if you do nothing, but go through the main story and you finish the game at like level 11, I don't even know what it would be like.
Nothing's going to be overscaled to you.
It gets harder as you level up more.
Cause there, unless you cheat and do like multiple rings or something, there does
come a point where it's like, all right, you've kind of maxed out how much your
armor can boost your endurance and your intellect and your strength. But then if you level up again,
it's like, everybody's about to get harder again. Like, and the leveling the the difficulty
slider is crazy. Adept, which is it's like, I think it's like easy beginner, something
else, adapt expert legendary. And adapt to the middle one they start you
on is pretty fucking easy.
Like there's no, there's no issues at all.
And expert, like the main change is that everybody now does like it's either three or four times
as much damage to you.
And so it's an absurd jump.
And then I, I put it on legendary for like a second and was like, this is not fun.
I don't want to have to grind against mud crabs. Like I want to be able to there are enemies I want to walk in and just be the
bee's knees and be like yeah get the hell out. Rats should die in one hit like that's how I
scaled my difficulty. I was like rats should die in one hit. I'm a giant man with a giant sword.
There's no way that they should take two hits to kill that rat. The difficulty should be wherever
one sword hit kills a rat and that's where put it, which was like one level below hard.
Or yeah. Yeah.
And the something that's harder with combat in this game than Skyrim is like
you're pretty much never hit with attribute or character effects in Skyrim.
And this game, like there's these annoying giant she-lob spider looking things that have paralysis attacks.
And so sometimes you're in a dungeon and one of those comes and gets you
and you're surrounded and you're like, I can swashbuckle, I can get out of this.
And then they hit you with that for five seconds.
And now everybody's just beating you to death for five seconds is so long.
It's just being hit.
Now, this is one of those games where you have a pause time button. It's the tab button
And suddenly time pauses and you go through your huge inventory of 40 different potions and find the remove
Paralysis spell and our potion and you drink that down and then you're instantly good. That's it
I've been selling all my potions. I'm like if I can't get through this with magic and fighting then I don't deserve to
I'm loaded. I'm like, if I can't get through this with magic and fighting, then I don't deserve to. I'm loaded.
I'm loaded.
Just from selling all the potions.
I've got almost no magic.
I've done almost zero.
Cool, you guys play so differently.
I throw a fireball every now and then if it's a skeleton,
but I'm mostly just swinging my sword.
And it's fun to like, I don't know,
dodge and duck and dip in this game.
I'm digging it.
You got to put some stuff in magic because the magic in this game. I'm digging it. You got to put some stuff in magic
because the magic in this game is so much more fun.
Yeah, I'm stuck right now
because my magic's not high enough to cast a spell
to unlock a desk that has a key
that I need to progress a quest.
So I'm like, what the fuck?
I, this is, now I'm hunting for a vampire slayer
who I'm pretty sure is killing not vampires
and collecting the reward.
That's his fucking scam.
He comes into town, he says,
I'm fucking Lucian the vampire hunter
and you have a vampire.
That guy and he kills that guy.
Murders of innocent man tells everybody it was a vampire
and collects a reward and then moves on to the next town.
I'm pretty sure it's a scam he's running.
So I'm on his tail right now.
The vampire quest was funny
because I've never played this before. Like you and you haven't in 20 years so you may as well be new. Oh yeah. Yeah the first
vampire quest is like some dude some normal looking dude with normal eyes and face and everything is
like I run a group called the vampire hunters. We're sick of the vampires in our area. You seem
trustworthy. Come on I'll introduce you to the gang." And everyone in the hangout is like
a red-eyed, gray-faced, has-to-go-out-at-night guy who's like, yes, we hated the vampires.
We are going to get them. Immediately, I'm like, this guy, these are fucking vampires, aren't they?
And so, and like I did the quest for him and there's still one guy in the little hangout,
red eyes, obvious vampire, pointy ears, fangs, and I'll talk to him and he'll be like, good to
see you again friend, kill any vampires. I'm like, all right, well I don't know what I'm supposed to
do with you here. I guess leave. I want to kill kill another Aldous gate has those wonderful
interactions where if you were to cast like a sunlight spell indoors it would
freak that vampire out fuck him up I wonder if there's anything like that but
but yeah for a 20 year old game just huge value especially since it's
basically free on a on game pass I really hope they do the same thing to New
Vegas maybe even even Fallout 3.
All those older games that just need a sprucing up and a fixing like this one did.
Yeah. I would be so into New Vegas if they brought it back to this level and this polish.
It's so good. I didn't know they had new spells. That's cool. I can't maybe I'll.
Well, they're new to me. Like they might be the same old spells from oblivion,
but Skyrim's spell list is so restricted compared to,
because there was Skyrim, it was like,
you just buy the spell or you learn the spell
with the scroll and then that's it or the book or whatever.
And this like, you can go in the little menu
and be like, I'm gonna custom this spell.
It's gonna do this kind of damage. It's going to do this long of duration.
It's going to be this level of intensity.
It can be on myself or on something else.
And your carry weight can be bananas.
Like I have so many like light as a feather and strength spells I use.
And so it's like, all right,
I guess I can carry 2400 pounds of armor.
And so then my guys just lugging it back to the one dealer that I invest.
Are there followers like companions? Because I haven't found one yet.
I didn't. I don't really want a follower. I need a buddy.
I need I need to like a redheaded lady run around behind me like, oh, you made quick work of them, sir. Like I need somebody like there to back me up.
You can do, next play through I do,
I wanna do heavy conjuration,
where it's like I'm almost supporting my minions
with spells, like healing them, buffing them,
and then I'll have a staff or a sword or something
to at least make it so I can defend myself,
but just summon powerful shit.
I don't know if that's tenable in Oblivion.
I think so.
I've seen people, you can summon all sorts of Daedras
and cool stuff.
Yeah, it's been great.
This game rules.
If anyone's watching games, $50 on Steam.
Yeah.
60 if you buy the deluxe content,
but I can't figure out what that includes.
Get that horse armor.
I have no idea either.
Is that all that is horse armor?
Oh, I don't know.
Oh no.
I hope the horse armor is.
I've got the horse armor, so.
Here I have it.
It's new quests for unique digital Akatosh
and Mahoon's dragon armors, weapons and horse armor.
So there's quests to get armor that you,
I guess otherwise wouldn't have.
I don't know if that's, if it's worth it.
If it's quests, it might be worth it.
Maybe I'll see.
I got whatever version is on Xbox game pass.
You can like, if I like the random compliments you get
from NPCs, once you've like leveled up a skill to a hundred.
We're like, you'll just be walking through the city and they'll be like,
look at the muscle on this one.
Yeah.
Give me your strength.
Or like even like mercantile.
Like I've been selling all my potions and you get credit for sell and all the
arrows I find because I'm not doing archery at all.
Like I'm selling oodles of things and that's all you have to do.
Would it be better to sell a sack of 150 arrows in one go or each individual arrow?
Am I get like because you get like, you're ranking up your mercantile
skill every time you buy and sell just an item.
I bet it'd be better to break them up
into 150 slices and rapidly like get XP that way.
I haven't been doing that.
I've just been assuming that it's value.
And so like,
if I can sell 200 arrows at a time, I'm selling 200 arrows at a time. Maybe that's it. But like,
some of the compliments you get are hilarious. Like my mercantile is at 100, because I've sold
and bought so much stuff. And like, people will walk by me and go, you look like a thrifty businessman.
And meanwhile, I'm dressed like covered in blood.
Like a demon in Daedric armor.
This game rocks.
Like my whole past weekend was just playing Oblivion blowing my nose.
I wish there was a co-op.
I'd be sick too.
Like if you could play two player in this, that'd be sick.
I've been caught up in the Chedure draft drama all weekend.
I've been watching that.
Been really interested in that whole thing.
If you don't know, Deion Sanders' son, Chedure,
is a quarterback out of Colorado
and he was projected to go in the first round.
Some people said like the second or third overall pick.
A lot of people thought it would be eighth or ninth overall
to I think the Saints had that pick and he fell to the fifth round like 144th or 150th.
The Browns traded like a they traded like their 157th and 166th pick for the 144th pick and took
him which was like traded shit for shit and got a guy who was supposed to be in the first fucking
round.
And I've been like trying to understand why, because it's been all this drama.
And apparently he they're saying that he was incredibly disrespectful in some of his interviews with the teams.
Like they said that when he was in his interview with the Giants,
he was FaceTiming with his friend, like just having a conversation
during his meeting with the GM and the owners of the Giants in their offices.
They said that, well, he's been interviewed and he says like,
if you're not looking to change your culture and your franchise, don't draft me.
And again, this is not like Eli Manning coming into the league.
This is not that, this is what they're saying.
This was a down year for QB's in general cam ward went number one overall
He was the best quarterback in there and they're saying that he wouldn't have been in the first round in it
And like last year the year before that being said
This guy fell so far and they thought he was gonna be again in the first round and they had a party at his house
with a live stream
So like there's like live there's music and Deon's there.
And every time he doesn't get picked, it's like incredibly embarrassing.
Well, low and behold, somewhere around the second round, I'm going to say day
two, day three, he gets a phone call on the draft phone that they had gotten a T
mobile phone.
They'd given the number only to the, uh, the NFL and this email that went just to the teams.
This is just for people who needed to get in touch
with him to draft him and let him know,
hey, you're going next.
And so he gets a phone call and it's like,
hey, this is Bill.
I'm the GM of the Saints.
We're taking you next round, bud.
He's like, oh, great, great.
That's great.
Can't wait to do this and that.
He's like, yeah, it's been a long way.
It's been a long way. Actually, you're gonna have to wait to do this. And that's like, yeah, it's been a long way. It's been a long way.
Actually, you're going to have to wait a little longer.
Hey, and they hang up and he goes, wait a little.
What do you say?
What's that mean? Wait a little longer.
I don't know, man. You're the one on the phone.
What the fuck?
And then they look at the TV and the Saints take somebody else.
We got trolled.
It was the Falcons, fucking like GM or a coach or somebody's son.
It was their son.
It was like a 21, 22 year old in college.
He recorded himself making the Frank phone call.
That's pretty funny.
He's like, he bought it.
It was the meanest thing you can imagine.
It was so mean, but it didn't happen.
No one has any sympathy.
Not really.
Yeah, he seems like he's being a jerk
if he's like talking on the phone
while talking to the GM of the Giants.
The internet kept using the word entitled,
that he felt like he was just a foregone conclusion.
This was his birthright.
And teams are like, he's not, we're not going to like him when
he gets here. You know, he's certainly a gifted athlete, probably. He was Deion Sanders' kid, his first round
projection. But if he's a dick, he could make the rest of your team worse.
Yeah, that's what happens in the end of sports.
They talked about how, so like once he slipped, Pat, once the Saints didn't take him at nine or whatever it was,
they said, well, and they get to the second and third round,
now he's gonna be a backup quarterback.
You know, if you're taking a guy in the second and third
round and you're paying this, you're looking for a backup
quarterback at this point.
And the question is, do you want all that drama around your
backup quarterback?
Do you want all that limelight on him and not your
starting guy?
Well, even with, and he went with the Browns,
the Browns had already taken a quarterback.
They already have a quarterback
and they already have a draft from a year or two
who's a quarterback.
They've got four quarterbacks
who man they're in their quarterback room now.
They've got Joe Flacco who's 40 something years old.
And then they got a bunch of kids
who are unproven more or less.
I mean, yeah, that includes Sanders.
Like this, this guy's got to make the team.
It seems to be a practice squad guy.
Uh, well, he's certainly not a starter.
And they're not going to start him.
So Zach says they signed three quarterbacks this year.
I mean, some of those QBs are going to get cut.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Um, I, I don't know.
He's not even that good.
Like he's, He's very good.
In the world of NFL.
You could be good in college
and not be anything in the NFL.
What I mean is he's very good among the options
of quarterbacks in the go.
He was in the top five of those quarterbacks.
I guess he went in the top five.
I think he was the,
I wonder if QB's overall taken,
what number was he, Zach?
Cause there weren't that many QB's in there
That was part of it. But um, I don't know. We'll see what happens to him
I like I'm rooting against him cuz he just seems like such a douchebag
Like he's already got a brand called legendary his brand is legendary and like like like it's everywhere in his house
He's a throne. He's with he's like a throne room with legendary written all over it throne room
I think we are coming from and it's completely reasonable, but I'm hoping
for a different version of this.
I'm hoping that he does well and the humbling works and he learns how to be a good teammate
and like, and he becomes the guy no one thought he would become.
That's what I want.
I don't want him to be prime time version two.
I want him to be something he hasn't indicated
that he'll ever be.
Everyone hated Deion Sanders when he played.
His teammates hated him.
He was a piece of shit too.
He's still a piece of shit.
Deion in his interviews leading up to this.
It's more fun to see Deion get dunked on
and all this and humiliated than it is the kid.
Deion's the real piece of shit.
He's the 45 year old, 50 year old man who's this scummy.
And he always was.
He was always a me, me, me guy, never a team guy.
He was always hated.
Really?
I don't know anything about Deon.
His interviews leading up to this is like,
he's like, I'll step in.
They some teams that we won't let him go to.
It's like, what are you doing?
I will intervene.
I will intervene.
He's like, you don't think I know a thing or two?
You don't think I know the, ha ha, You don't think I know the haha the Jerry Jones's
Uh-huh the Roger Goodell's haha. I know these people they know me. They know primetime. All right
Maybe I know a thing or two. They y'all don't know and it's like, ah, we'll see it's hard to like these people
It seems like a real bitch
So it's good to see him loose and look the guys that went ahead of him were these like
With their family and like just so exuberant kind of guys just ah we got it. We've done it
I don't know. I was rooting for them just so much more than I was the
Sanders Zach before we read that Zach said the Browns were the number one team
They didn't want him going to.
And he coaches, I love what the, I'm sorry, tweets.
I love what the Browns have done this off season, but I'm a young quarterback. Ain't no way I'm going to Cleveland.
I would pull an Eli Manning if possible. When was this? March 18th. Okay. So that was before the draft. This guy's, so Shadr Sanders only played 25 games
with Colorado and Colorado is not like SEC, ACC.
Like most of his college career was at Jackson State.
He started for two years at a premier university
and they won a lot of big games and he played well.
Like he's not a bad quarterback by any means.
He's very-
I believe you.
I'm saying this is not a resume that I would associate
with someone with a brand called Legendary
that expects to go first overall.
Like what-
Oh, he didn't expect to go first overall.
That's the first round.
Sorry.
Yeah, that's, oh, there's a great,
all there's receipts for everything. That's the best part ESPN's always got a camera on so they they did this like thing for cam ward and
should do or were like just playing together like throwing the ball around and kind of talking and
Chidora's like yay, we should do a rap video together. You want to do a rap video
He's like nah, man when I go people Google me. I wanted to say American football player and he's like, oh shit
Okay. Okay. What do you do for fun?
Cam Ward goes I play football
And if I'm if I'm a GM or a coach or anybody that's that's gonna involve with the choice for picking a guy that's gonna be
Expensive and maybe leading my team. I want that guy and not that other guy
I want the guy who's not concerned with frivolous shit and material shit. The guy who wants to play football and actually
loves the game. Um, we talk about how there's, there's people that play professional sports
and don't like it. I want someone who loves it. I have a thing. So Shador Sanders was eighth
in the Heisman voting and his teammate Travis Hunter was first.
So, so he wasn't the best on his team. Well, well, but he was, the first guy was a cornerback in a wide receiver. Yeah.
But I guess he plays both sides of the ball. Um,
he got drafted in the first round. I think, um, he's got,
he looks like a Ninja turtle and he's a little guy, but I,
I was just trying to say, I guess Colorado is not a garbage
team. If they had two guys in the top eight in Heisman and the
Heisman Trophy came out of Colorado, they aren't they had
a lot of talent and he was coaching the team. I think I
wonder if he's coaching it going forward. You wouldn't think he
is you would think he's bailing ship because his kids going
right.
I would guess that I thought he was really trying to do something in Colorado seems to love him.
And, um, I know Colorado has become hugely popular with
prime time at the helm. They get, they have more fans than they ever did before.
No, I'm sure I've never heard about him in the football world as much contract
has been extended through 2029. It says here, okay, good for him. Um, yeah, yeah, yeah
He's not he's not a bad quarterback, but he's just a piece of shit. Nobody wanted to deal with the all that other extra stuff
Hmm. Yeah, that's fun to watch him take the L especially like live streamed like that
um, but you know, um, I here's a fun little stat the the nfl
Uh draft had higher ratings than the NBA Finals.
It wasn't even close. You can't convince me of that.
The NBA draft had like 13.4 million viewers or 14.4 million viewers and the the the NBA Finals had
two million less more than two million less. Last year's finals or this year's playoffs last year's finals.
Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I can't believe the drop off for basketball. I didn't know how extreme it
was to you guys told me it was like 40 plus percent. That's insane. Yeah. It's that's like
a cataclysm. If you're like on the business end of being like, what do we do? They did a bunch of things wrong at the same time. Like they got kind of too political.
The game has changed to be everyone runs sort of the same scheme. It's all it's about the three
point shot. First, whatever reason today's stars like the next generation of stars haven't gathered
the interest that like the LeBrons
and the Steph Currys, all the stars that you like watching
are threatening 40 or have mastered 40
in the case of LeBron James.
And it's like, they just don't have like a prime
American star, oh, that's another thing.
A lot of the top players,
couple of the top players are not American.
Maybe that hurts American viewership.
I'll say this with football. It's so real and so dangerous that we're, that's all we talk about.
Like the, the, like where the kids should even be able to be playing it.
Where, and then I watched like a clip from the NBA game the other night and
LeBron's on the ground and the excruciating pain he's got his hand covering
his face because he's just can't take the pain and he peeks under his hand,
like a cartoon character and like the fucking
like takes the art scoreboards.
Start with this and.
Oh, yeah.
Get me up.
Oh, God.
And it's like, man, this is your guy.
This is like this is supposed to be your goat over here in the NBA.
And he's a plopper who lays on the ground faking injuries in the playoffs.
That's pretty embarrassing. Like, that's one of his moves.
So so like, I don't want to hear it anymore because in the NBA and NFL,
people are dying.
It's because those guys don't remember where their keys are.
They'd be led to the fucking stadium.
They're take because it's so real and get hit so goddamn hard.
I don't know that.
You know, those ceremonies, you know, those ceremonies they do for really,
really old players who like played in the seventies in some sports.
They don't have that in the NFL, do they?
And today we remember, you know,
Steve Jackson born 1965 and taken from us in 1996,
taken from us when he had a bit of an episode with a loaded gun, and he ended it all because he couldn't stop hearing voices.
Yeah.
I was watching a thing about how this guy was talking about how his team had the best pad
guy. He's like, he made the best pads. Some of them might've been illegal,
but you know, they do a pregame check.
Say everything on you is good.
They don't do a check right before the game though.
They say pregame, but they mean like an hour before the game,
five minutes before we go in with armor on.
They would make a cast and just put a fake cast
on their arm, on their whole forearm and hand and like there
They would create like a cudgel to just bash people one guy had a broken thumb for three years
They said that had never been broken his thumb wasn't even in the thing that stuck out
It was just a thing to gouge with it was a protuberance from his fist
That just stuck out and he'd let he like, I'd pop him right now with it.
Not the helmet right off.
It's just like, what the fuck?
That's a real game.
Billy the gun Corgis.
No one had thought of it before.
I just watching that guy fail.
It's rare that I get to hate on somebody as purely.
I usually find some redeeming quality or like some cheat.
I'm like, oh, OK, I get it.
But he just seems awful.
So I'm looking forward to rooting against him forever.
On the Browns, even though he's not going to be playing.
I hope they like I hope he gets to play some.
I hope he plays some like preseason games or I hope they like, I hope he gets to play some, I hope he plays some like pre-season games or whatever.
And like, I hope there's drama.
I hope he gets into DUI.
I hope he gets a bunch of girls pregnant.
I hope that he like, there's like sexual assault charges.
You're threatening him with a good time.
I'm not a big, like I'm not a football guy.
I don't know football, but a lot not a football guy. I don't know
football, but a lot of my friends do. And I was talking to
one of them. And he told I was, you know, the Shader thing came
up. And he was like, the reason he fell so low wasn't like maybe
there was a little bit of like, you know, we're not going to be
bullied by this guy. And like, of course, the like ruining your
team atmosphere is a bad thing. So that obviously comes high in
there. But also he was like, something course, the like ruining your team atmosphere is a bad thing. So that obviously comes high in there.
But also he was like something they're not talking about is how long it takes
this guy in the pocket to release. Yep. He is he is in the pocket for so long.
It's a time that you can get away with in college if you're kind of quick.
But in the NFL, the guys are faster, the guys are bigger.
And if you can't release, if you're releasing at the times he is in the NFL,
you don't play in the NFL.
Like you straight up don't do it.
He doesn't anticipate the open man.
He waits for the man to be open and then he releases
and they've been shitting on that.
That seems like something you could fine tune.
This is a guy who's under Tom Brady's tutelage
and has been for years.
Like this is the silver spoon of silver spoons
up this guy's ass.
Like he's got every advantage possible
and they're gonna give him every shake available.
But he definitely did just get a message
that he doesn't call the shots,
his daddy don't call the shots
and neither of them really know what's going on.
Cause they were both flabbergasted.
That was the best part you got to see on stream
like Dion Sanders sitting there like every time that his son didn't get picked he just
Fuck!
This is the era of the stats and stories fan and I'm so here for it.
You don't even have to love football that much. You can just like draft day if you want.
You get to see their live streaming their draft. That didn't happen when I was younger. Nowadays, there's that you want to you like basketball. I there's a guy, Jimmy Butler. He's notoriously competitive. He's a guy who turns it up for the playoffs. Normally guy turns up the playoffs. And it's like really, he just got hot in the playoffs. And that's kind of nice. For 10 years, he's been getting hot in the playoffs. Why isn't he this good all year?
I don't know, but in the playoffs, he's amazing.
And he has dragged some garbage ass teams to the finals.
Anyway, I'm watching him absolutely suck shit
at trying to paddle a canoe on YouTube
and scream like a girl when it tips over
because he can't swim and he's only at 18 inches of water, on YouTube and scream like a girl when it tips over.
He can't swim and he's only an 18 inches of water but he's not quite aware of how shallow it is.
And I'm like, this is the best content I've seen
in NBA so far.
The Stanton story stuff is here and it's terrific
and I enjoy it.
Yeah.
I'm glad I'm not so much inside.
You got so much inside information now. Like, like, like even like, I'm glad I'm not so much inside. You got so much inside information now.
Like even like I'm sure like I don't care enough about the sports to know,
but I bet there's all sorts of nitty-gritty stuff about the high school
recruits. The guys who are juniors and seniors in high school and like what
they're up to and what their academics are like and now is he playing baseball
again this year? He shouldn't be doing that. I bet there's all sorts of that. I
know that there are people doing mock drafts for next year now. Because they can't like,
that's how big the NFL is. They're mock drafting 365 days from now what will happen.
Yeah. It's the biggest by a ridiculous amount. Like, it's the biggest. Yeah. No, no other sport
is power slaps. The biggest sport in the world. You don't even understand by orders of magnitude.
You think every sport in the world.
Okay.
Close second.
You take soccer, you take world cup soccer,
you take cricket.
All right.
You take NASCAR.
That's a dark horse by the way.
People don't think about NASCAR blows a lot of shit
out of the water with their huge venues.
It is big.
Doesn't matter.
Power slap takes all those double them.
Still not 10% of what powerslap
not five percent not sure i would do more about this okay it's huge in the guangzhou
valley that's where they get pretty much all of their viewers one damn away what kyle said is
his only slightly hyperbolic version of what Dana White actually said.
He claimed power slap is bigger than everyone else combined.
I don't know where he's.
He, he sounds like Donald Trump lying about the economy because he's so
confident about it and he repeats it so much that I'm like, man, there's
gotta be something to this.
He wouldn't live this, this like, like, like blatantly if they weren't.
Cause he'll be like, because
he'll even like, try to make people like eat their crow on and be like, I told you guys three years
ago, watch power slap. What did I say it was going to do? And what has it done? Well, let's take a
look. Biggest sport in the world right now. Bigger than, and he'll name those sports I just mentioned,
like world cup soccer is so big. It's unfathomably big. Like cricket, it's like, what are you talking
about? Everybody but us watches it. Everybody but us,
the whole other, like the rest of the men on the planet. And, but,
but he says power slap is the biggest thing in the world. Maybe they're like,
he's Twitter engagement and Slovenia is just off the charts.
Like maybe it owns all of Asia, but I don't believe him.
I think he's fucking lying.
Of course he's lying. It's a worse thing. I've every way. Cause I've never seen that shit. I've only,
I've seen a few clips of it and I click away from it the same way I click away
from dog fights and gore. I don't want this in my life.
Yeah, it's boring. Nobody's doing anything.
It doesn't feel like slapping to me.
To me slapping is something that hurts your skin,
but power slap is a way of Palm striking, undefended knockouts.
And I'm like, that's, it's just not what I think of as slapping.
And every time there's like a highlight, it feels like the winner just cheated.
Like, oh, like to me, yeah.
Highlights are low lights to me as far as like a sports fan.
It's like, you should hide that.
You, you should sweep that into the rug.
You should compensate that person for that bad thing that happened to them. Oh, that's like you should hide that. You should sweep that under the rug. You should compensate that person
for that bad thing that happened to them.
Oh, that's what's supposed to happen in your sport?
That was a, so I don't like it.
They're literally destroying their brains
for $5,000 a pop for reals.
And-
It can't be true.
It's gonna be a sport on earth.
It's probably like $5 million a pop.
Taylor, do you have any idea what percentage
of revenue goes to hockey players?
Oh, I don't know.
14%.
I had something like, close to 50.
All the sports, roughly half of the revenue goes to players.
Except USC, where it's about 14, 17%.
Like Dana White keeps all the money.
14 sounded fair to me because Dana always said it was.
No, well, I don't think the UFC guys,
all the other players have like a union
or like a player's association,
which is basically a union.
So they like renegotiate that from time to time.
So like I would guess around that.
Dana will fire your ass
when you start doing some stuff like that. There's been lawsuits and all sorts of anti-routes tried to put together, but I think
it'd be hard the way it is. I think that the top guys get paid and they get, they become millionaires.
I think that the mid tier guys get paid and they buy houses for the rest of their lives. And I think
the bottom guys come in, find out this isn't the job for me. And it's houses for the rest of their lives. And I think the bottom guys come in,
find out this isn't the job for me.
And it's probably for the best.
They don't get drug along for $50,000 a fight
when they should be making 12.
That 12 should be an incentive for you to get another job.
Like this is not a job to make them $25,000 a year.
You're losing your brain cells.
If you're Dustin Fourier, get in there, big boy.
Let's fucking make a legacy.
But if you're no name Jones, like go play baseball, dude.
Like, can you shoot a basketball?
Can you run?
Can you do anything?
Torn.
There's the kindhearted version of me that says
these guys should be making so much more than they should.
Every one of these guys from the $12,000 fighters
to the million dollar fighters should be quadrupling what they get paid for every one of these guys from the $12,000 fighters to the million dollar fighters should be quadrupling
what they get paid for every one of these events.
That's what fair is.
On the other hand, I've watched so many fighters
get money in their pocket and say,
I don't feel like fighting anymore.
You know what, fighting actually really unpleasant.
Not a lot of people know this, it's super unpleasant.
Now that I don't have, you don't need money
like I did before, you know what's really cool? Vacation. That's what I enjoy. And then
you get guys like John Jones who don't need money dodging fights for years.
And it would be hard to get people on board negotiating like all of the fighters in UFC.
Because like, I know it was years ago in the NHL, like Sidney
Crosby and Ovechkin and like a bunch of these guys were like big on representing the players
organization, like our players association. And so you have like the big guys making a big to do,
getting media attention and everything, because it's not going to hurt them to get a better
collective bargaining agreement. Whereas if you're like John Jones or you're like Conor McGregor and some like little fighters come
to you and you're like, Hey, will you kind of be our media representative on this so we can actually
get some traction? Connor's going to be like, what? Oh, you mean like go take a risk to my career with
Dana where I make, if anything, maybe a little less money. No, thank you. No, I'm not gonna do that.
The reason I'm making so much is because you guys
make so little other than endorsements.
So like, nah, I'm not gonna join your little club.
You guys all get paid.
The top guys get paid very well.
And I always hear the top guys talk about,
yeah, there's what you heard I got paid
and there's what Dana gave me after the fight.
Like there's like, they-
Oh, sure. DC says that when
the Fertitta brothers own the place, they like their main event fighters to always make
a million dollars. He's like, so if I only made $735,000, they, you best believe they'd
show up with a couple hundred thousand dollars after the fight to make it a mill. And it's
like, when I hear stories like that, and I know DC is a company man, but I think a lot
of people got paid like that.
I hear Rampage talking about how he got paid in Pride and how the money was wacky there.
Rampage has great stories.
He talked about how slick the canvas was in Japan.
So he took this tarry stuff that you use for handball and he would smear the bottom of
his feet with it, like tar.
And then he put his feet in a plastic bag,
and then he'd put his sock on top of that.
Then he'd put his shoe on top of that
and go out to the fight.
And when he'd take it off in one fell swoop,
one piece, the plastic bag, the sock and everything,
he's like, nobody ever saw that shit.
Did it a few times for the UFC, nobody ever knows.
You can imagine the black you'd have.
I think they'd see it on your feet right away. They'd be like, what is with Kyle's feet?
Oh, dirty foot Myers.
I kicked the guy and leave a stain on his chest.
Georgia. Yeah. You have to go all in. Your fighter name is Pigpen.
Folks. That's his gimmick.
He ran all the way here barefoot, folks. That's his gimmick.
Just begin of like a, like Trumpian sports talk.
So the blues have won the last two games
against the Winnipeg Jets.
So the series is tied two to two now, which-
Okay, no one's lost a home game.
No one's lost a home game yet.
And I know we talk like for listeners,
this would be the biggest upset
of the year if the blues won the Jets will best team in the league blues barely squeaked
in. And so like Jets fans online are panicking. And the reason is they have a goalie American
guy Connor Hallibuch, who is like a regular season Titan all the time. I think he's going
to win his third Vezina, which is a very difficult trophy to win
best goalie in the league. Like it's you're a great goalie if you get one of those over the course of
your career. And he's gotten I think three now, but he has a history of falling apart in the
playoffs at a ridiculous level. And he's doing that again, the Blues, the first two games in
Winnipeg close as hell. Really close games.
Like the Blues were leading all of game one
and then they lost in the end.
Game two was two to one, close game.
Game three and game four, the Blutes have blown them out.
Seven to two and five to one.
Total blowouts.
He's been pulled in both games.
It's really bad to have to pull your Vezna winning goalie
and put in some other guy in the playoffs
in game three and four and lose both
Do they need to mic up everyone who chirps him right like if I'm on the blues
I'm practicing my lines, right? Oh, that's a banger write that down
You need to say this to him next time you get near right
This game should be mic'd up in every fucking sport and there should be dual audio versions where you can do just plain commentary, plain commentary plus the mic'd up or just the mic'd
up.
I do just mic'd up.
I would watch a whole game if I could just hear like, and obviously the coaches would,
I could listen to coaches.
That'd be a dream come true.
That's what I really want to hear.
But if I could hear like the bench, if they had like a big mic over the bench so I could
hear the chatter, that'd be sick.
But I really want to go on board with I want somebody running the show
I want to I want it I want it mixed because I love when they're on board with guys in the NFL and you can hear
the impact
And you can hear them like oh, yeah
When they're running you they're like
They're like you can tell they're running with all they have and when they hit
They're like, you can tell they're running with all they have. And when they hit it, there's a bunch of crack.
Yeah, they did that in the NHL.
And you can hear like the the ice cut, like the the blades on the ice.
Yeah, I heard that had smashing into the side.
There was it wasn't miked up, but the Blues new coach,
I think it was like during game three when they were winning.
They like got him on camera, like clearly not very high stress situation
because the Blues were winning by so much. And like it was between plays and they're playing that song like, wake me up before you go.
And he's like on the bench like, wake me up before you go. And so, but yeah, the Hellebuck,
this goalie, they he's getting crucified in Canadian media for falling apart again and also
because and he was just coming off a difficult time because he just long
hair and a goatee he has a goatee yeah I don't know but he lost literally no one
in the world studies go tending more than I know no no you're right it's like
I'm I'm the best goal I studied gold tending more're talking about? I'm sorry. No, no, you're right. It's like I'm
the best goalie. I studied goal-tending more than anyone on earth. I'm an expert in goal-tending. And this is like 40 minutes, I think, after he had been pulled and then he let me in five goals.
I watched that whole clip and that whole interview and I was thinking the same thing. I was like,
he's pulling a Donald Trump here with it. But then I started thinking, I'm like,
look, how many NHL goalies are they?
They're, one of them is probably the guy who knows the most.
Like he's got a decent chance of being the guy
who knows the most about this.
Donald Trump says he knows the most about,
I know the most about technology.
I know the most about viruses, virologies.
Like he'll just, anything and everything.
At the very least, there's like a one in 50 chance that he does know the most about.
He knows plenty.
I wouldn't pick him.
I feel like some goaltending coach is probably the most knowledgeable.
Just guessing.
I've been studying it for four decades now.
And then some of the goalies like probably know less.
Like Dominik Kostak, I wouldn't imagine he knows that much about goaltending because
it'd be like, well, what you do is you just have like superhuman,
weird joints and then you fly all around and then you,
and you have an incredible and he's the best goalie of all time.
And a lot of people's opinion.
And he just had the weirdest, goofiest, you know, inflatable tube man style
where it'd be like, how the fuck did he grab?
How do you throw this arm that far around to grab? He just,
am I right? And the goal tending has gotten a little more boring.
Like you go back 15, 20 years
and a good goaltender would just like do cartwheels
and kick it with his foot at the last second wild save.
Yeah.
Now, if you made that save,
it's because you did something wrong 10 seconds ago.
Yeah.
The goaltending now is much more of a science
and like positioning and not a lot because some of the awesome
saves in the 90s, like, Whoa, this is incredible. Like, you're
exactly right. The reason hasic had to make so many crazy saves
is because he was constantly out of position. Derrick Jeter to
that. So this is this is great. We're just translates between
baseball and hockey. Derrick Jeter supposed to be the fucking greatest shortstop of all time. He was out of position. That's it. So this is, this is great. Where this translates between baseball and hockey, because Derek Jeter is supposed to be the fucking greatest
shortstop of all time. He was out of position.
That's why he has to sprint and jump into the fucking air
and spin 180 degrees and sling it at first.
Cause he was out of position. He was playing the,
he was playing it wrong.
He didn't, he lost count or something.
Like anyway, I don't actually, Yankees,
it's, it's 1999 all over again.
I never forget Taylor. I'll grudge. You'll grudge. Those fucking 99 Yankees. It's 1999 all over again. I never forget Taylor. I'll grudge.
Those f**king 99 Yankees ruining it. I remember the 99 Yankees very well. I remember that whole series. I think it was only five games. It didn't go well. I think he was serving time by 99. He was serving time by 99, wasn't he? Yeah, you're right. Yeah, that would be the end. That's when they let trying to get fired, he was wearing Lou Gehrig's pants. No, that no Steinbrenner was there wearing Gehrig's pants. He's like, hope that's not contagious.
But Lou Gehrig's disease isn't contagious.
I'll be holding him with a new torch. If you're looking for a sport to watch anyone out there,
NHL Playoff's are excellent. Even if you're not a big hockey person, they are
so fun to watch. And I'm not a stats and stories sports person, which is thank goodness. I'm, I'm watched the NHL and because
these guys, there's like a dozen, a dozen languages. And so, and they also, a lot of the guys who aren't
Canadian or American, and even a lot of the Americans and Canadians, they don't like talking
to the media the same way players and a lot of other sports like that too.
They kind of keep it close to the chest.
And so there's not as many storylines and whatnot, but the sport itself, it's so exciting.
It's so good.
The Blues and Jets both broke franchise records for how many hits in a game they had against
each other in like game three. I think the Blues had 66 hits and the Jets had 68,
which is a lot of hits in a game.
It's high intensity.
In watching the game, did you feel like the hits were hard?
Or were they?
A lot of them were, yeah.
A lot of them were hard.
But I had to watch a lot of that one through replays
because we were doing PKA at the time.
Yeah, it's been going really good for the blues. I still expect the Blues to lose in six or seven games because it would just be.
I can't imagine the Jets having a collapse where they lose to the lowest
seeded team in the entire NHL in the first round.
That would be they'd have felt like a front office core out.
They would they'd spaz and they should spaz.
They should spaz on
their goalie a little more because he's costing them games straight. And a lot of people are like,
Oh, well, this shot, you know, ricocheted here. Oh, it bounced off this guy's butt. And it's like,
true, you know, Oh, the offense isn't producing for Winnipeg. That's the bigger issue. Well,
that's part of it, but offense isn't going to produce if there's no confidence whatsoever
that your goalie is going to make a big save.
Everyone's going to be clamped up.
Everyone's going to be more reserved and conservative.
They're not going to be willing to dive
into the other end as much.
But anyway, that's, I've hit my hockey quota.
Kyle, what is this tweet you've linked?
No, they play tomorrow, I believe.
All right, I'll check it out.
It looks like some Harley drama.
I know he's been in some online
Feud if you will or maybe just being attacked by that guy
I don't know those people so I don't even know the guys hoping Kyle
Kyle's a really good storyteller and that he would lay out this whole no I'm not I'm not gonna be able to do that
I just know that like because of Harley's takes on maybe Israel Palestine. He's gotten mixed up in that like
What I know Hassanabi guy, Ethan drama.
I'm surely going to get some of this wrong, but here's the scoop. Idubbz, I think people know,
runs Creator Clash. Zach, correct me if I get something wrong. Idubbz runs Creator Clash.
Creator Clash. It's a boxing thing. And Harley was going to be the main event of that.
iDubbbz also a couple of weeks ago
made a content cop first time in a long time,
10 years maybe, if that's not right, it's close,
attacking H3H3 often on these Israeli debates he had.
H3H3 had a tendency to say that anyone
who didn't like him
was anti-Semitic.
At least that's what I gathered from the first 20 minutes
of it before I was like, this doesn't really float my boat.
So Harley perhaps disagreed with some of iDubbbz takes
and was talking to him, but also iDubbbz's editor
and someone else in the I dubs
universe and they were going at Harley with less tact and
sort of relentlessly and Harley has pulled out of creator
clash. Harley is the guy who defended I dubs. He did it on
a PKA. You might remember talking about I dubs and same
hide and you know a lot of people saw I dubs is like a
total loser in that back and forth but Harley's solid through a different lens and said you know both a lot of people saw iDubbbz as like a total loser in that back and forth,
but Harley saw it through a different lens and said, you know, both of them are kind of this,
they come at it through a different way of being the smartest guy in the room.
And he's defended iDubbbz often to his detriment and not this time.
This time Harley has left iDubbbz and now they don't have a main event for creator clash
And I hope I got a lot of that right
Yeah, it seems like a lot of the oh Kyle you're muted my friend. How much money would he to step in right now?
Dude they can wire you fifty five thousand dollars by tomorrow evening
You got a body fighting. He of LA Beast. He's a big guy.
Oh my god.
I'm not gonna take that beating for
55 grand.
You could go down
quick.
Ah rats! And he's like I think I missed you.
It's like no, no, you got me.
Look, it's I missed you. It's like, no, no, you got me.
Look, it's kind of red.
You're punching.
With black eye makeup to the fight and just just like.
Yeah, I don't know what they're going to do.
Well, like I just saw like a little bit of it.
So I definitely know what's going on.
That sucks for everybody involved.
Yeah, that Israel-Palestine thing is just,
you know, it seems to be a silly thing to argue about because there is no right and wrong and
there is no good and bad anymore after a while. You know, it's just revenge, but getting revenge.
And it's just well-phrased. Why would you like get involved with that?
Because with all events,
like I don't like talking about anything
if we can't make a little fun at it,
have a joke at its expense, whatever it is,
whether it's Democrats or Republicans
or gun control or what have you.
But I don't wanna like,
I'm not gonna go fight for my beliefs.
These are just like silly fart thoughts on the internet.
The idea of like getting so caught up in these positions
and taking it so seriously,
because in the end we can't change any of this.
Like if all three of us finally agree on Israel-Palestine,
then that's just the three of fucking us.
You guys, it's the Israelis and the Palestinians
that are the problem.
I had even the smallest amount of impact on something.
I might talk, but dude,
America's gonna support Israel
regardless of what I say and do.
Even regardless of what its population says and does.
The American government and the Israeli,
I mean, they joke about Canada being the 51st state,
that position is already taken.
We have a fucking parasite state that we support
no matter what, and it's Israel.
No matter.
Puerto Rico.
We have no Puerto Rico.
Apparently we're willing to let them fucking go
without power for eight years.
Yeah, we wouldn't let Israel do that.
We wouldn't let Israel suffer like that.
That's such a bad look.
And that was under Biden too.
So like, who do you even go to if you're a Puerto Rican?
Do you think Donald Trump's gonna bail you out?
Clearly not, you didn't vote for him.
And that's all he cares about.
They gotta secede,
which would be the easiest secession ever
because it'd be like,
I feel like they'd get to court and be like,
your honor, come on, are we even really a part
of the thing we're leaving?
And they're like, fair.
All right, and I guess adjourned.
What do you guys create there?
What are we gonna pay the same taxes
that the other states do?
So that's why I don't think they need to get
the same benefits that the other states do.
Yeah, I don't think they're paying them.
Yeah, they're not a state, they're a territory.
Yeah, territory. like American Samoa
that we never talk about ever.
What are they doing down there?
What even happens in American Samoa?
Like I've never heard anyone talk about it ever.
Is it near Guam?
In my head it is, but in my head,
I just create a bunch of islands down there in the Pacific.
And I imagine they're all sort of near each other.
That's just 47 000 people
that's that's it that's the entire people though like like what are they doing are they americans
like it's it's it's territory still right i know we keep every few years we give up one of our
territories and i lose track and it becomes another yugoslavia lost to history but like
we still territorially control american samoa right. And what's funny is I had no idea
how far away this was from us.
It shows a picture on the globe on this,
on the Wikipedia page where they are.
You can't see North America on the globe.
It's like closer to Australia than like there's no,
it's really in the middle of nowhere.
Like this, there's like,
it's on like the empty half of the globe.
That sucks.
You'd be so far, no two day shipping.
I'm looking at it, Taylor's right.
It's kind of north of New Zealand or near Fiji.
And damn, it's closer to fricking Peru than America.
It's beautiful though, holy shit.
Is it?
Everything I see is like tropical trees
and like coral reefs and these big cliffs
you could jump off to in the ocean that look,
like this is where you would film like a movie,
like these like really dramatic cliffs and mountains
like next to blue water lagoons with,
I mean, it looks incredible to me.
A movie about a place with no internet access.
Fuck that movie.
I'm looking at that, the town looks hopping.
Like there's this little beach side community.
Like, ah, that looks cool to me.
I bet it is popping.
I have a bunch of fat bitches there too.
You clean up in American Samoa.
You know they're eating, they got a food desert.
They've been eating nothing but spam for three
generations. They're only into ginormous men. I bet they have a lot of good pork, a lot of luaus,
a lot of good pork, a lot of pineapples. I learned this, we got to cut because we got to go do our
hangout. But in Samoa, the Maoris during battle, if you could have an erection to display to the
enemy, that was a sign of not only confidence in your own victory,
but just prowess as a man.
And it was done regularly.
Like if your leaders walked out with a huge heart on
and like wagged it at the enemy,
that'd get you in the boys' height.
You knew you were gonna win today.
He ain't scared, he's fucking hard as a rock.
Damn, to imagine these guys have just been
losing wars
for centuries.
Anybody who walks in, they're oh,
and however many people have showed up.
That's their...
They fought each other.
The Vikings, there's little evidence
that the Vikings did something similar.
There's all these rock carvings in Sweden,
and there's hard dicks on all the men fighting.
It's pretty interesting.
I think they're just depicting the race,
but there's a little conjecture there.
We should wrap.
Yes, we should.
Yeah, we should.
Okay, PKN 558.