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Calling something tomorrow's news is very funny.
I've never heard that.
PKN562, what's up everybody?
What's up?
Chatting about gaming and how I guess,
if you wanna play Dark Souls, don't start with one.
Oh, it is such a,
the first half of the game I really enjoyed.
I can remember being like,
I saw it start streaming till noon.
I wish it was noon right now.
Like I was anxious to get back into it.
The second half of that game is such hot garbage.
It's such hot garbage mechanics.
Like, okay, now we're going to do balance beams in the dark.
I'm like, really? What the fuck is?
That sounds tedious.
It's so bad.
And, and by the way, it's balance beams arranged
in a maze in the dark while people hit you.
This isn't good.
It doesn't even feel skill-based.
It's just you walk awhile, oh, that's right,
at this spot now a person jumps out
and pushes you off the balance beam, so watch for that.
And then you do it again, and the next guy,
and this is the next guy.
There are ghosts, you can't hurt them.
They can hurt you. There's like 12 of them in this room, you're
fucking getting gang raped by these things. And you can't hurt
them if you have this special spell on but like it wears out.
And and you're in a room with like 12 things you can't run or
walk because they just block your path. And I'm like, this is
just bad gameplay. This is bad mechanics.
You're like playing in order.
It's not that like you're in a way over leveled area
where if you were a higher level, you'd be casting that spell easily.
That hurts him.
Um, it's in this situation, the spell wears out after five minutes,
which is a pretty long time to like forget to recast it.
I'm way over leveled.
The chat had me do this game in kind of out of order.
So I'm coming back and cleaning up things
that I could have done much before.
Everyone's dying to one hit,
except these like bad game mechanics where you're night,
not nighttime, you're in a cave system
that is balanced beams in the dark.
You can't see.
The thing they give you to see is this helmet with a giant light on the top of it, which sounds like it might be good. It shines the light in your own eyes. Like, like, I'm like this, I don't know that this even helps. It might be worse. It like, Oh, I can't see shine a flashlight in my eyes. That's the hell that you see.
That's not how you see.
That's not how you see.
They should have told the devs.
So like, does this game have a giant cult following? And your chat was like, you got to try the first one.
Or is it like, you're just trying to run the whole gamut.
Like it is.
Yeah, it has a giant cult following.
So like Dark Souls one led the Dark Souls two, which is even worse.
Dark Souls three, which was a legend, which led to Elden Ring.
Like this whole thing that this is the game that walks
so that Elden Ring could run.
And now I'm going back and playing the old ones.
And like in chat, I'm like, guys, it's just a bad game.
It's just a bad game.
It's a bad game with bad mechanics.
Like balance beams in the dark is not good gameplay.
You're trying to defend this game,
but you know who didn't?
The people that made it.
You know what they did?
They apologized for the second half of this game. They said, this game, but you know who didn't? The people that made it. You know what they did? They apologized for the second half of this game.
They said, this game is shit.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry about how bad my game is in the second half.
We ran out of time is what they say, but not my chat.
My chat is like, nah, this is great.
Just get used to it.
And I'm like, what is...
I like hard bosses.
That's not the problem, right?
I've done Rune Level One where I died hundreds of times. Like, like, I
don't mind a hard challenge. I might a dumb challenge. I don't
like bosses that fly in the sky and hit me with range attacks
when I don't have a range attack myself.
That's infuriating in any game.
It should just be cast off as bad game. Like, yeah, that's not
what good is. Good is you and me
both with swords wanting to fight. You're not running. I'm
not right. The first guy who walks backwards is a pussy.
Let's go. Right? Like, that's good gameplay. I don't want some
mage. Get out of here. A dragon in the water hitting me with
distance attacks every once in a while lowering his head enough
that I can hit it. That's stupid.
Are you out?
Like you're not playing anymore of this one?
So I pretty much beat the base game and went to the DLC.
And then I beat the best boss in the DLC and chats like,
there's a shitty boss left in a dragon.
And I'm like, I might be done.
I might be done.
A different game.
Yeah.
That's interesting.
I didn't, I don't know enough about the Dark Souls series,
but the fact that the first two are bad,
how did it even continue?
The first half of Dark Souls one
is probably what made this entire genre.
Like it's good.
The second one is notoriously bad.
Some masochists like it,
but the bulk of the community doesn't.
And I liked a lot of the third, just not the DLC.
Okay. And Elden Ring, in my opinion, one of the best games ever.
Everybody says that. Yep. Yeah.
I the style of combat I like in a game depends entirely on
what mood I'm in.
Like sometimes I like to go into a dungeon in oblivion
and crank it up to the highest difficulty and then realize immediately
That's too hard and then go down one and
It's it's insane like it would be like see what I'm gonna give you options on what to fight
alright, you can fight a
you hand-to-hand combat to the death a squirrel and
Then level two is a fox but all of its teeth have been removed and it's paralyzed.
And then number three is another slightly smaller version
of you who's about 10% weaker.
And then four is five Brock Lesners.
And then five is the entire United States military.
That's the scaling difficulty because they'll just be wrecking on a depth and
you'll be like, this is too easy. And then you go up to expert and it's like,
wait, it seems like they shouldn't like cut my damage
output in a down to 30% and triple their health.
One of those would have been good.
That seems like overcorrection,
and so it's it's crazy.
And then it gets to the point where it's like,
alright, I can win any fight because I can just cheese it by
being like, oh, I popped you.
I popped you and then I go invisible and then I sneak away
and then I pop you. I go invisible.
I am on Xbox playing it.
And so I don't know if I have,
you can probably put it on Xbox.
It's 2025, right?
I mean, modern console games are moddable
and there's console support,
but I don't know about oblivion.
But on PC, there's a really good mod for balancing that
and just making it fair. Because it's like you said it's to me
It's about at the difficulty that feels right for bosses the little guys. I'm just or any human
I just slash slash slash slash slash and walk through them. It's like that ain't fun. That's not fun
I want to hold my I want to block and dodge and parry
I want to do a little of that every enemy every enemy
I want to do like three dodges and par's and then kill him for like a human-sized enemy
but get that I've got to turn the difficulty up another notch and all of
a sudden I've got to hit him 30 times or legitimately 20 times I have to hit him
and he'll be healing and shit and he'll see as stagger mechanics and stuff he's
swinging a glass war hammer at me that cripples my guy and steals all
my stamina away. They have a real issue with the difficulty slider in that game. Everybody agrees.
This is oblivion. Yeah, oblivion. They fixed it somewhat in Skyrim because I play Skyrim on the
highest difficulty and it's like they have a lot of health, but it's not frustrating as long as
you didn't build your character like a retard, like if you're competent in putting your skill points and not over leveling.
The thing I hate as far as enemies in Oblivion
is those spiders and the spider summons a smaller spider.
It's like, imagine a centaur, but it's a spider.
So instead of a nice regal horse body,
it's a disgusting arachnid body.
And the spider itself isn't hard to deal with, but it summons a tiny spider.
That's hard to see in the dark.
And the tiny spiders only attack is paralyze you.
And so you'll just be thinking you're doing good.
And then you turn green and lock up and stand there in like weird animation and
just get you just a beat toy for eight seconds.
It's like, Oh, this sucks.
But overall I'm loving oblivion.
You should pick it back up again at some point,
Kyle. And what do you love these hard games? You would you might
have fun.
My mind hated not he would hate it. Night Rain. He would hate
it. I played that he would just need to use in like December,
maybe. And then there was a network test in February. I
woke up at 6am every day to play that network test. I stayed up at the network test, the timing was
bad for the East Coast. It was like 6am to 9am. And then there'd
be another one from like 11pm to 2am. Of the six sessions, I
missed maybe five minutes total. Like I was up, I'm there waiting
to log in, log in, log in, log in, log in. It's 6am in the
morning, I'm getting up for this thing. I played the network test and couldn't get enough. When the network test up, I'm there waiting to log in, log in, log in, log in, log in. It's 6 a.m. in the morning I'm getting up for this thing.
I played the network test and couldn't get enough.
When the network test ended, I felt like my dog died.
I was like, oh.
And it was February when the network test happened.
Game drops in May.
Like that's not so long, that's not so long.
I'm a grown up, I can go from February to May.
May 30th did a lot of heavy lifting.
That 30, 30, it's like, it doesn't even feel like May. It's coming out in June May, May 30 did a lot of heavy lifting that 3030. It's like, it doesn't even feel like May it's coming
out in June, essentially. So I wait and wait when is it? And
then I see what may 29. I'm kind of excited about that. That's a
day earlier than I thought it was. Do you know when this
hacking game drops? May 29 at 6pm, it drops 30 minutes before
we start recording our show. Oh, this fucking game.
That's brutal.
That isn't that the worst where it's like, all right,
what do I have to do this Thursday?
Oh yeah, that thing I've done for 15 years.
When's that?
When's that?
I've been in the coming.
Oh, the only time I can't.
I'll record on Wednesday.
If y'all want, I don't get you, you know, play your game.
I didn't do it.
I was like, do we have. I didn't do it.
I was like, do we have guests?
Do we like it impacts a lot of people have been just me.
I appreciate your offer.
Yeah, I understand that, too.
I don't want to be on the box.
Yeah, I was moving pieces and brats to cook and children to pick up from school
and stuff, but I'm perfectly willing to record tomorrow or Wednesday or whenever.
Whatever it takes to make sure you play your game.
I know what that feels like.
I know.
I remember when fucking halo three was coming out and I was standing in that
stinky ass game stop being like, dude, I'm going to get a speed ticket on the way
home. I don't care.
I remember like barely paying attention during a PKA while the blues were on
their Stanley cup run. It was like an essential game.
And so like someone will be talking and be like,
Taylor, what do you think?
I'm like, what?
Oh, I couldn't have just been zoned out
for like half a period during the show.
I have no idea what people are talking about.
I'm looking out of the corner of my eye at the other monitor.
I could see myself in the hub, right?
The games have hubs.
Everyone knows what that is.
Just be like, what rings do you start with?
What costumes do I have?
What do you, am I like?
I I'm so jazzed for that game. I I can't wait
Lids up as far Taylor. I recommend you get into dark type with me. They're releasing some new content
I think either this week or next week. They're putting it we can mod you a scoreboard
I will modest of your you have to play on PC.
But I've only played Darktide on PC.
I put up with you guys.
Yeah.
They're adding a new character,
a whole new class, like for the first time.
So I'm gonna.
What's it called?
Oh, I don't know.
I don't remember.
It didn't strike me as like something
from the lore I knew of.
It looks like a servitor.
Yeah, basically thematically, it's like a Judge Dread, like class.
And he's got an attack dog, like it's like a robo dog.
And that seems fun.
I'm sure there's gonna be some cute like integration with that.
You'd be able to pet the dog.
And there's that big Ogren character who's retarded.
And I'm sure he'll be like little popper
like he'll have cute shit to say uh but other than that i'm definitely gonna play some ready or not
later uh that swat team game where you're trying to keep hostages alive have you played any yet
no ready or not okay no after we got done with the hangout yesterday i felt kind of queasy and like
just chilled out i didn't want was it because of the bad. It was the bad clues. That's what it was.
That's what it was.
It wasn't. It wasn't the brats.
It wasn't.
Of course it wasn't the brats.
Brats are healthy.
You know, not the way I eat it, but yeah, dude, I'm on a brats kick now.
I'm tempted to like go buy more brats at the store tomorrow and then make more
brats and load it up with sa make more brats and loaded up with
sauerkraut loaded up with the uh the whole grain mustard like i've said before i'm becoming a
must what do you like in the brat like you got a standard brat or you want some cheese or some
peppers in there or anything usually i don't want cheese in there i'm good with peppers like if
they're jalapeno brats i like that but and love cheddar. You wouldn't peg me as someone who's like,
I don't want cheese in that,
but I don't want cheese in it.
You, well.
The beer brats are good.
The standard brats are good.
You can't go wrong.
The spicy Italian brats, those are excellent.
Top tier.
All right.
And you, do you always get the cheesy kind?
I never get the cheesy kind? I never get the cheesy kind
I usually I try to get something spicy. No, you put I meant oh cheese on them. Yeah. Yeah, which is kind of experimental
I just happen to have the pimento cheese that I've never done that before
I put it on hot dogs before and on burgers and shit
But yeah, never put on a brat
I would be interested if I liked them enough because honestly I, I prefer regular hot dogs like Nathan's to the broth.
I don't like that huge hog in my mouth and that snap where the skin is tearing off.
That's what I want.
I like most meats, but I like my broths.
This food is more of a man than I am.
This is no good. This is more of a man than I am.
Good. It's emasculating.
Yeah, it's emasculating when you see them brats.
You ever see that movie with Jim Carrey, me, myself and Irene?
Yes.
Where he's been cuckolded and all of his sons are black and his State
Patrol buddies at the barbecue are trying to like one of them gets
too drunk and he's like, God damn it.
If kids cocks are bigger than fucking sausages
over there, wake up!
And they like drag him away.
Don't worry about Johnny, he's had too many drinks.
But they're black is like, they're black as night.
They're not biracial.
I've seen that movie once and it was 20 years ago.
It's like, I remember thinking it was funny
but I couldn't tell you one scene from it.
Once his black sons grow up,
they're all genius athletes and like cool guys.
So, and he, and he has this great fatherly relationship
with them where he's like, how my boy's doing.
And they're like, they have physics homework,
like that they're struck that he's like,
ah, this motherfucker.
And he's like, these, these quarks,
I can't wrap my head around it pops. He's like, well, come motherfucker. And he's like, these quarks, I can't wrap my head around it, Pops.
He's like, well, come on, what do I always say?
Count to 10 and do it again.
That's right, that's right.
And he like smooches them all on the mouth,
all these grown ass black men,
and they didn't know he was gonna kiss them.
I'm sure on the other end, he's like,
all of a sudden, Jim Carrey kissed me on the mouth.
What am I gonna do?
Thanks, daddy.
I can't even see.
Yeah, I'll look into playing Darktide.
I again, I always when it's open,
I always opt for the tank character.
100% of the time, I like to know that even,
even if I'm taking a lot of damage,
if you're any character other than the tank, you're like, I'm kind of letting the team down.
If you're taking a ton of damage as the tank,
it's like, all right, this is all damage.
Someone else isn't taking.
So even if I'm kind of fucking it up, you know,
in the experienced eye of Kyle,
like probably in the back being like, you know,
Taylor's taking a lot of damage there, probably needlessly.
But it's it's more fun.
It gives you more leeway.
Like being a healer or being a tank does give you more leeway.
Being the DPS guy definitely has a higher requirement.
Like if the DPS guy phones it and everybody's going to die.
And so I would want to be the tank unless the tank is horrible.
I like the I like the cell.
Well, the tank is the Ogren and so he's the big retarded guy.
He's got cool voice lines.
The voice lines matter a lot to me because it's you.
It can get a little monotonous.
There's a lot of hack and slash and that's a lot of flavor that it adds.
The zealot. I play an Asian chick who's just fucking in love with the emperor.
Oh, cursed, Xenos, filthy alien scum.
Death to the heretic, death cursed, Xenos, filthy, alien scum, death to the
heretic, death to the Xeno. And she's preaching that shit as she
like fights her way.
I like I mean, it's a zealot. She can't be the end. She has to
be both feed in.
I mean, we're all both feed in for the for the God Emperor of
mankind. I love that lore so much. I can't help it. I'm
waiting on new books to come out for that shit. I really
want that movie to come out or whatever that Amazon property that's supposedly in production
to come out. It's just such a cool world. I want the general population to be exposed
to Warhammer and see what it is because it's so dark and deep and awful.
What's Superman doing? I can't remember his actor.
Supposedly working on it.
I don't know.
I don't know if a deal has been struck even.
It seems like with Amazon deals,
especially those big quarter billion ones,
you get like a couple of years of heads up.
Oh, a deal has been signed between blah, blah, blah.
And they're casting this person and that person.
So the fact that we haven't heard that
means it ain't happened yet.
So I don't know what's happening.
I don't think anyone does.
But he's pushing or Henry Cavill, that's his name.
Henry Cavill.
He was actively pushing for Amazon
or someone to pick up a Warhammer show, right?
Because he's a super nerd for it.
Yeah, all that.
And like in his hands,
you would hope that it would be treated well
because it's a property that needs to be treated correctly
or no one will watch it.
If you don't keep your core fan base intact, then you don't have a product to speak of. Look at Last of Us 2 right now,
the way everybody's so upset. It's not just because that girl's ugly, and it's not even
just because that girl's a bad actor, and it's not even because that girl doesn't look
anything like the actor in the game. It's also because they've dumbed her down and made
her a buffoon of a character. She says says silly things and they'll play like the show side by side with the game.
And it's like, fuck in the game, they're triangulating radio bases in the in the show.
She's like, what are you doing, boss?
She's that that's in the main character died, which I don't know.
I haven't I don't know if that's lore or not.
It is.
And I knew that Joel was going to die.
It's why I had no intention of ever watching season two
because I felt like the pair of them was the thing
to me anyway, cause I never, I don't,
I'm not into that game, but when he died off
and I knew it was going to drop off,
but she it's done more than drop off.
There's an active hatred for it.
Season three is on the way and just two short years though.
I mean, yeah, they, it's, they'll be money down now. Like I said, it's mind boggling
how many properties they will spend huge amounts of they just being the ethereal entertainment
industry like HP IP and then be like, you know what? You know how Lord of the Rings has one of the largest fan bases kind
of baked in on earth, let's change it.
Let's train series into something that it never was.
Let's not use all the IP we just purchased and instead invent our own,
but like have swords named glam drink and, uh, and sting.
And so we like steal the little like fan service,
but that was so retarded.
And I'm so glad that show is failing.
The Lord of the Rings show,
there was coke about it for so, so long.
People being like, it's actually good.
It's actually getting-
Did you watch it?
No, no, I'm not sorry.
That's horse-
No, I wouldn't want to, yeah.
That's crazy.
Yeah, I'm sure, I want the Amazon internal statistics to say that my account never even touched
that shit.
I wanted to show that I'm it would clearly show those those stats would show
that I'm a Lord of the Rings fan, but I didn't touch that product
because they see that I have like it's clear from my Amazon.
I've purchased enough goddamn memorabilia over the years and fucking bullshit
from from. They would notice that I have all three extended editions bought
on my Amazon account from times I was like on vacation and been like,
man, I want to watch it over the links or something.
It just ended up $14 on it.
But I never, never touched that show.
That's it's just insulting.
They really fucked it up in a big way.
Girl power.
I remember seeing people online.
I mean, they are powerful.
And that's the thing is like,
I saw a lot of the-
Yeah, but Galadriel isn't just powerful.
She's like a bad bitch in armor with a sword
who mean mugs people.
Yeah, that's not how she's powerful.
Galadriel is powerful because she's like a magic, like
witch, but a good way. But the potential to be an evil witch.
And so that's why she's powerful. She's not powerful
because she's a slut, or because she's like really good with a
sword. She's not powerful for those reasons. And so they're
just taking an already powerful character and then being like,
Nope, the lore of her reason for power isn't good enough.
She should also be able to like swing an axe as hard as Gimli.
And it's like, well, now you're not only ruining this character's development,
you're undermining the power of this other guy.
Exactly. And it's like this.
This is just stupid.
There was no reason.
Galadriel just kill everything in the Lord of the Rings movies.
And I like that.
Yeah, Galadriel's a cool character
and it ruined it.
It doesn't make any sense.
It's a shame that they do that.
And it's just virtue signaling.
It's like, hey, we got this property.
Well, let's make sure our representation is on point.
I don't know.
I don't think there's any black hobbits.
I don't know.
I think it's gonna be kind of jarring
to have one black hobbit and be
like, so where the fuck is this guy?
It might be virtue singling. Maybe I'm wrong. I, but I usually look at it through the lens
of like they're pandering. They're trying to include more audiences as a way to get
more people to enjoy it. And I don't know.
It's like with advertising, like I've been around people in advertising enough that
like number one, just like casting and media, it's every year, it's more and more female
dominated the field of advertising, the field of media casting.
And so there is, I've watched this happen before.
It's like a, it's like a ratchet that doesn't ever click back where all three of us are in a
room and let's say we're on the advertising team for Procter & Gamble. We're the only three men
there and there's 10 women, 10 liberal women. And then we're coming up with commercial ideas
and we have an idea, we have a structure for it, a skeleton. And then we go, okay, so the main
character will be a white couple.
You know, we already have some casting ideas.
It'll be a white couple because that's kind of who we're targeting here.
And then one of the women will go, it should be a white man and a black woman.
And then that ratchet clicks. It's never coming back off that.
Now, no one is going to be the person in the room full of 10 liberal women who
do have control over your job to say no. And then
another one will go, it should actually be a gay interracial
couple. It should be a white man and a black man. Okay. And then
should they have a kid? Yes, the kid should also be horribly
disfigured. For some reason, he's purple.
The kids should have vitiligo, which is really not's really not that common, but they put it out there.
It'd be tough to cast.
Yeah. And then it's just a ratchet effect and they're all in their own world and they don't want to get pushback and no one wants to push back on it because of potential HR stuff.
And so they just go, oh, yeah, that's a good idea. You know, we're selling tide, right?
Like this is a laundry thing. And you're talking, we spent half this meeting talking about the demographics
of the people inside the commercial.
I remember when the Watchmen came out
and it was a black led show all of a sudden.
And it's like, who are these people?
Which are these?
Where it came out?
The Watchmen, you know, with Dr. Manhattan
and Owlman and all that stuff.
Dr. Manhattan's white.
Now he does get demolecularized in that machine and turned into
a blue god he's the blue god with his cox yeah yeah yeah i was like is he not white in the show
or like he's kind of blue more than anything else well i know that he looks blue but it's a
white man who's glowing blue like he's a caucasian who is now glowing blue and he's voiced by the
white man who they showed
in the beginning of the movie get transformed
into a blue God.
Well, they just make it a black dude.
And then they, and now his wife is black
and she's a superhero.
And it's like, what is this?
Oh, you're talking about the TV show.
I couldn't wrap my head around it.
I'm like, I've seen this movie several times.
I like the movie.
Like, I don't understand what his diversity complaint is at this movie.
There's girls, but they're supposed to be girls.
Is that it only ever goes in one direction?
The movie is full of hot, sexy ass women with their asses hanging out, tits everywhere.
And the men are just horrific.
And there's child rape and child
Cannibalism and all sorts of nasty the worst of the worst type shit is happening and it's a bad ending
It's the the the ending is that the superhero went the super villain wins
He he did prevent World War three. He let he creates a he destroys New York
basically
And makes it seem like there's an alien threat so that the world unites against an alien threat that is non-existent
That's that's that's the story painted on dr. Manhattan or an alien threat
To get man had a dr. Manhattan out of the way
He framed him for calls for exuding a cancer causing aura that had poisoned people in his life
And and he and so dr. Manhattan leaves the planet after that happens.
And so he's out of the picture,
but he blames it on this alien squid monster
type situation.
Okay.
Yeah.
It was upsetting.
Well, that sucks.
Yeah, yeah.
Dr. Manhattan has every, like all the power he needs.
He's so powerful.
He's omnipotent and omniscient.
He's God.
So how do you beat this guy?
Sure, but Thor's a God and Dr. Manhattan would just-
Thor's a dimmy guy.
Thanos snap.
Yeah.
Thor's like a low tier God.
I think, okay, well, Dr. Manhattan is really, really high
on the power scaling.
He can rearrange atoms everywhere, anytime.
Like what can't he do?
And he opts not to undo this deception
because he sees that they create world peace
by uniting humanity against this fake threat.
And he's like, well, seems like this lie
is better than the truth.
Yeah.
But the Rorschach character is like,
no, I won't carry your water. I won't tell
the lie. And Dr. Manhattan goes poof and kills the good guy, explodes him. That's the end of the show.
Probably for the most.
I mean, you know, Rorschach was a damaged individual. He needed to go. But, but I like
that. And then the show was nothing like that. They completely changed the lore and the characters
and did their own thing with it. And it's like, why don't you just do your own thing from the beginning?
You clearly wanted to do a superhero show about black folks. Yeah. It's like, just do your own
thing. Have you seen those like, uh, I saw some, like state TV company in like Sweden, making a
show about Vikings and they were like a significant amount of them were black.
And it's like, this is absurd. Like, how am I supposed to get in the spirit of watching a
Viking show if there's just black people that like that doesn't make any sense? That's so
ahistorical. You got to turn the tables on him. If I was watching a show about the Zulus and there's like some guy putting on sunscreen
all the time. Play by Jack Black. Yes, it comes out with his big fat belly and the big high shield
in one hand and the spear in the other. And his band of like ginger associates like that too.
It would be that level of silly. It would be like, bring me bring out the red guard. And it's all these like redheaded white dudes.
This is a great thing. This is a really good thing.
You got an army of gingers and the African safari and the African sun fighting the colonial British
who were directly played by blacks who lose. That's exactly what it would be. It would be
like we have to fight back
against these Colonials, the colonialism.
And it's like a bunch of gingers near a black guy.
And then there's like a black dude in the British army.
Like that level of shit is retarded.
The whole British army would be black in my book.
And they would be wearing the wig,
the powder wigs and everything, the red coats.
And then my army of ginger Zulu
would defend their homeland from the colonizers.
Do the people who defend that stuff. It's so weird where they'll be like, Oh, really?
You can you can accept goblins and magic, but you can't accept black Vikings in this show.
And it's like, yeah, literally. Yes. Like that's like how about we throw up?
How about we have a Toyota Highlander in the background?
We have a highlander in the background. We have a Toyota Highlander in the background.
I'm sorry.
You can accept magic and goblins and you can't accept a Toyota Highlander.
Really?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, does that take you out of it for obvious reasons?
And you're just trying to like do your own little weird rhetoric right now to try and
pretend people are racing.
Alexander the Great wearing Oakleys.
Yeah, Alexander the Great should be.
He shouldn't be in a, Alexander the Great should be-
He looks like an outfielder.
Yeah, he shouldn't be in a push 9-11.
He should be in a chariot right now.
I see your point.
I have a...
I think I'm close to it.
I didn't mind the new Luke Skywalker.
Her name was Rey, being a girl.
I was fine with that.
It's fine.
She's a Jedi, basically.
Yeah, I'd say we're a problem with that.
If she's jumping around, flipping, et cetera,
what I do have strong opinions on
is when they hire pretty girls instead of athletic girls
for athletic parts.
If this is a model who's so frail and like,
I don't know, bikini ready,
that she couldn't jump off a kitchen chair,
then fuck, don't hire her, right?
Get someone who could be tackled and will think it's funny.
That's the actress you're looking for.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, it just has to do with the context of it.
Like if it's Star Trek and it's like some black lieutenant,
it's like, all right, well, who cares?
It seems like it's kind of a multi-stellar planetary thing.
This is exactly what you're talking about.
And it's not only because of athleticism, it's also got to be part of it being the actors just
not willing to put the time in because the guy who played Darth Maul and the guy who played
Darth Vader, Hayden Christensen or whatever his name is, are both very good swordsmen.
And there's this behind the scene footage of those guys like not even together
but maybe together. I've seen them both behind the scenes and they have these lightsabers that look
like lightsabers but they're obviously plastic and they glow and everything and they're going
full force incredibly well choreographed with no cgi or special effects or wires and it's
intimidatingly fast and impressive it's it's doing spins and jumps and hops and it's intimidatingly fast and impressive. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,
it spins and jumps and hops.
And it's like, this is so much better
than what we get on the screen.
And like, you go back to the,
you go back to that fight from episode one, where,
I think it's episode one, where Obi-Wan Kenobi
dies to Darth Vader.
It's awful.
It's an embarrassing fight.
It's completely out of context
with every other sword fight you see in the rest of the trilogy or the series. All the movies,
there's dozens of them now. And that looks bad, but they've got an excuse. It's low budget.
Way back when they didn't know what they were getting into. But when you see Rey in these
clips just baseball swinging that lightsaber around and stuff. And then I found
it interesting. There was so much backlash because of the black Finn character who was
going to have a romantic relationship with Ray until they saw the backlash when episode one
or episode whatever it would have been a stormtrooper dating up into a Jedi. Yeah, right.
Right. And but in China, they changed the poster and they shrink the black guy real small
and put him on the edge like he goes from like one of the main three or whatever to like a little side
guy down here for Chinese release. And and it's like you motherfuckers like you've got no scruples
whatsoever. It's not even about like representation. It's about the almighty dollar with you and you
that that right there proves it. You couldn could stand up for Finn for that black guy.
Oh, I can't for, you know, for the Chinese market even that you didn't even make it
to the next. That looked bad to me, too.
I don't think it's fully the Almighty Dollar because they could have
sell my yen, then like the like the Lord of the Ring shows.
A great example.
They could have the biggest show on TV for years
if they would have stayed true to the lore and actually like Like the Lord of the Ring shows a great example. They could have the biggest show on TV for years
if they would have stayed true to the lore
and actually like backed off the CGI a bit,
done more of those like real effects
like the Uruk-hai, the Orcs and Lord of the Rings.
Like they could have done that
and they chose to go more ideological with it
with the girl power, the universe.
They should have done a small story
that they could, I think they should have done
a small story in the power, the first diversity. I think they should have done a small story
in the Lord of the Rings universe.
That way they could afford to pay the wetter workshop
to make armor.
Like I get that you can't properly armor 500 extras.
You can do 50 though.
Like do a story that there's never more than 50 people
on screen, cut out the CGI and let me see a gritty,
like I don't love Andor,
but I recognize like what's good about Andor.
It's the Star Wars TV show, there's two seasons.
It's the prequel to Rogue One,
which is the prequel to episode one.
It's all the rebels getting the plans for the Death Star,
getting them to Princess Leia,
and it takes two seasons to do that.
It's gritty, there's sexual assault.
All of a sudden in Star Wars, people are like,
Darth Vader would not approve of sex assault.
If he were there, he'd shut that down.
And they're like this guy and they show him killing children and like just murdering.
And he's the bad guy.
Why would you say to them sexual assault doesn't belong in Star Wars?
That that was a vocal minority, I suppose.
But from what I hear, Andor got better in season two.
It wasn't my cup of tea in season one.
I don't have any plans to go back and watch it.
But yeah, it's upsetting when properties get
fucked over like that.
You love especially the when you know, the creator would have hated it.
Like Tolkien would have fucking hated it.
He would not have been tolerant to people changing his work.
No, no. He would have been like, what?
There's fucking black hobbits.
You know that the whole like I had a stated purpose
that I wrote Lord of the Rings
as a way to rejuvenate English folklore, British folklore,
because we'd lost so much that had been lost to history.
And that's what the hobbits were.
They were the British, the simple,
and they had to storm out and fight World War I
against a bunch of powers that they couldn't even fathom. Like it was, it was deliberate.
There's so many messages,
so many subliminal things there and, and overt things. And it's like,
that's why it was so good. Like,
and that's something I do like about Lord of the Rings is it doesn't,
there's, there's good stuff about Game of Thrones where like,
there's a lot of subversions of your expectations and good people become evil, evil become good.
And that's fine.
But after a while it gets a little dried out.
Lord of the Rings is nice because it's like there is an absolute evil.
Like there's not a unlike the Amazon TV show, which is made up.
There's, there are no Orc families who are just trying to pay their bills. They are they are they are evil in Lord of the
Rings. Like these things they're evil. They are trying to kill
the free peoples of Middle Earth. They're trying to kill
the dwarves and the men and the elves and the hobbits. They're
coming for you. Even the corrupted men the heradrim of the
south. Not all of them are corrupted. They're not an evil race.
They're not an evil group.
Some of them are flawed,
but there is an evil in that world.
And it's the orcs, the Uruk-hai, the totally corrupted,
the demons, like the Balrogs and whatnot.
And I like that.
And so it's really gay of them to do like,
let's have a sympathetic Uruk-hai.
And it's like, no, that misses the whole point.
Have sympathetic, if you're gonna have
a sympathetic story there, have a Haradrim family
who isn't down with their tribe deciding
to support Saruman.
Have a story that's organic.
That could actually play,
but they're not interested in that.
Or what they did with Wormtongue,
have just a man who's been corrupted and tempted,
have him have a great fall.
Like have your main character be,
like that would have been a great story
if you had sort of a Star Wars-like story
where this guy was the best of us,
he was the purest of us,
but he was corrupted and pulled down.
And at the end you'd find out that he's a character
that you actually know.
I'd have loved something like that, but I don't know.
Yeah.
It would have been far better.
200 billion?
Is that what they paid?
Or 200 million?
I think it's going to be 200 million for that day.
And I hope they lost some money.
Yeah, they did.
Nobody's watching it.
They like had some shit release and some shit release and it was,
the viewership was very, very bad.
Woody, I think that, uh, we might,
we're going to get a heavyweight UFC announcement in like two days.
Aspinall tweeted this picture. It's like, like a, like a fight poster.
It's like his face with like, like darkened with some red light.
And it like just had the date of two days from now,
or maybe three days from now, something like that.
So I think we're going to get a really, uh, an announcement. It's either going to be in my humble opinion.
He is defending his interim against Ganya gone, which would be like, fuck you.
Or it's going to be John Jones is stripped. He is retired and Tom Aspinall will be defending.
It will be defending,
the winner of this fight is the undisputed
world heavyweight champion.
And then we get that Sergey Petrosky or Pavlosky,
he can come in and fight the winner of it after that.
Now we got to have-
Your list doesn't include John Jones
actually defending his belt against someone.
Fuck no, John Jones is in Thailand
riding motorbikes around, You've seen him, right?
He's doing the Asian version of the Ultimate Fighter.
From what I understand, him and Diaz are getting some fat ass check to go do that.
It's Jones and it's Nate.
They're hosting the Asian version of Ultimate Fighter.
Is Nate fired or kicked out or something?
I think his contract is done.
I think he fought his contract out.
I think that's what happened.
No, Nate misbehaved on the set by being so easy to provoke.
He like fought someone and got kicked off.
Is that not true?
If that's not, I haven't heard that.
I would be surprised if that wasn't just something
they did for ratings sake.
The last I heard from him was a quote where he said
he wanted to come back and fight Conor, Max, and Ilya.
And it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa,
that's a weird ass list.
You wanna fight a has-been,
a badass who's 30 pounds lighter than you,
or Ilya Toporya?
What are you thinking?
Ilya ain't gonna fight you, you old fucker.
Like, he's such a has-been, like him and Connor.
Connor is too, but Connor can't beat anybody on the roster.
John Jones.
All right, now that's a little different story.
He's the age now he was when he,
when Daniel Cormier fought him,
but he's too cowardly to do what DC did.
I agree with all that, you're 100% right.
However, if anyone, John Jones is the only guy who has come back time and time again after
big layoffs and performed like he it the layoffs were his own making steroids or drugs or this test or that test assaults cocaine
But he would come back after suspension and he'd murk whoever they put in front of him and he'd take his shit back
So and I'm not gonna call John Jones a has-been.
I don't know who wins that fight still.
He murks Stipe, who was a retired fireman at the time.
You just don't think much of Gon,
who is still the second best guy
in the heavyweight division, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, maybe I need to check up on that,
but I'm like, does he have an impressive resume?
I've watched two or three gone fights
and I think a lot of him,
I think he's got really good footwork.
He seems like a slick guy.
I think he just saw, he got blinded by the lights,
not literally against that John Jones fight.
Or maybe John Jones is just that bad.
I don't think John Jones fought a lot of people
from the weight class under him
who came up to fight John Jones and lost.
He fought on steroids through most of his career.
His best win ever was called a no contest
because he got tested positive for steroids.
No one has ever been caught for steroids
as frequently as John Jones
or as many substances at the same time as John Jones.
He's got a lot of records, I hear you.
Yeah.
He's, he doesn't deserve to be in the goat conversation.
He's the most accomplished though.
I agree with you.
I don't think he's the goat,
but he's the most accomplished UFC fighter of all time.
Triple C might have something to say about that,
but he's so cringe, I won't even hear it.
I don't care about your Olympic gold or whatever you got.
Jones is the most accomplished.
He's done the most crazy shit.
Uh, but he, you know, two divisions and all those defenses and the time period and the comebacks,
the comebacks of his own making, you know, he'll shoot himself in the foot,
come back and kick you with it.
And nobody else has done that quite like him.
Um, so yeah, I wouldn't put him, he's not my goat, but he's, he's the most accomplished.
I thought a big critique of him was a lack of defenses.
It's an enormous amount of defenses. It's the most, it's gotta be the record.
Well, you're both right.
The critique about him for not defending is about heavyweight,
but at two Oh five, he defended a lot.
Okay. I only, I only know what I hear from you guys.
He was the youngest heavyweight champion ever.
He was the youngest UFC champion at the time ever at like 2021 and now he's 37
and he's never lost a fight.
And although he's been a little inactive over the last couple of years and this
heavyweight thing has gotten weird and annoying. Um, he's,
it's like 560 days since he's fought or something like that.
And he's been holding the belt that are you even a fighter anymore? you're you're not exactly um and well the problem is you've got an interim champion
there's another guy in that weight class holding a belt that he's refusing to fight and uh to
called tom aspenall who's bigger faster stronger younger uh and uh um white and we don't have a champ for reasons yeah I mean he's got
the belt he needs to be stripped for any number of reasons I hope they do they
call him you know he's in Thailand right now fucking around every time I see him
talk to talk on Instagram or something it's he's just talking around it he's
like you call me a duck?
Does a duck live his best life? Cause that's what I do.
I'm living my best life.
Good food and good fun and good friends and family.
And you're trying to take that away from me
and call me a duck.
It's like, what are you talking about?
You're so real mad.
Ha ha ha.
Dude, they should just automatically take your belt
if you haven't fought in 580 days, that's crazy.
I mean, you're absolutely right.
How much tolerance they have for inactivity
or even injuries is based on how well you sell tickets.
And not that John Jones is a great ticket seller,
but they don't have any great ticket sellers right now.
If it was the glory days and we had like Connor and GSP or Rondo,
it could be the Ronda. Like any if Jones wasn't the only guy who sells tickets right now. Maybe
who's the guy at 155 who sells tickets? Nobody's the champ at 155 anymore. Islam relinquished his
belt. Oh well we're about to have an Ilya Toporia versus Charles Oliveira to determine the
champ. Yeah, it's fun. And then Islam is stepping up going to 170 and fighting that
that white guy that just took it. It's got a nose like this. Oh, yeah. That'll be fun, too, dude.
Islam is sells tickets, but he's just not in the same league as the you know, UFC stars of the past
Yeah, he's not electric. He doesn't have he's not hot on the mic
He's he's one of those warrior monks that's that's kind of got a quiet sense of humor occasionally in an interview if he's
Familiar with the person interviewing him but in those like more personality guys like I know Patty Pimlet is a personality guy
He's quite. Yeah
Well, he he just had a big fight. He, he beat Chandler, um,
who was, I don't know where Chandler was ranked when Patty beat him.
Patty was probably ranked 10th or 11th and Chandler was probably ranked seventh
or fifth somewhere in there. So he, he fought a tougher,
higher ranked guy and merked him. And so now he's, I don't know what Patty's currently ranked,
but his next fight is going to be against a bad motherfucker.
If he-
I want to say Patty's last five wins, four wins.
I'm making this up, but it's close.
Close.
Their combined recent record is like six and 30.
Like Patty is beating cans.
And-
No one knew that Chandler was a can exactly like I had
been active for years as he waited for his Connor fight the guys close to 40
than he is 30 and you know as he was on the shelf hoping for a big payday Patty
wins and suddenly Patties this world-beater broke you beat the worst
version of a fighter with a losing UFC record.
Former champion?
Not in the UFC.
Are they trying to give him easy fights because he's charismatic and like he's a, you can rely on him to turn stuff up.
Yeah.
I mean, that's its own career choice.
Like being entertaining.
I don't think he's been given easy fights as much as he's been fighting at his level.
You know, like, like he's, he was like, he's like,
he was ranked 10th or so before the Chandler fight.
Before that he was unranked maybe, or maybe like 15th.
So he was, he was fighting guys that were like on his level
and he lost to one of them,
regardless of what the judges said.
I don't-
He dodged harder fights, which I don't fault him for.
I heard him in the interview
and I liked what he had to say.
At the time he's making like 19 grand a show and 19 grand a win and they're like, hey, do you want the toughest guy in the
world? And he's like, yeah, when you pay me, I'm like, oh, you know what? Like, yeah, you come up
with the cash and I'll fight this monster. But yeah, I'll fight a top five guy when you pay me
top five money. And that makes so much sense. Yeah. So I don't, I don't accuse him of ducking in this.
Maybe I just did, but he's not the same as Jones.
See, I think he's improving because he's at least fighting.
I, he's, he's very young and he's got a,
he must have a great team and he must have like,
he's that guy who gains a lot of weight between fights.
He looked better, he looked better physically
in the Chandler fight than he's ever looked.
He looked bigger, stronger and leaner. Like he looked cut. He looked like he was on roids to me. Like he looked
like he was on something. He looked like his delts were popping in a way that I it's everything was
cut. He looked big. He's got a lot of performances of the night. Is that a big deal? Yeah, it's an
it's a bonus. He gets an extra 50 grand depending. It varies a little. But but moreover, it's an it's a bonus he gets an extra 50 grand depending it varies a little but but moreover
It means he did something cool or he was at least in a cool fight
But he's got a lot of fans for it also kind of means he tends to fight in England on really weak cards where he's
The favorite person there. Yeah, and when he's there like one of them is in his walkout song
Okay, and ones in Las Vegas, but the other three are London, London, Manchester. So,
yeah, I love them there. Obviously he's got that Beatles haircut. He's got that disgusting
accent that's that's borderline Arabic with its ha ha ha like inclusion to the picture
of him on his Wikipedia page is not him. The many instances of him as a shredded professional fighter.
It's like him at the fattest.
I've seen him like just doing an interview, like looking like a looking like me.
I want to be like a fat idiot.
That's very funny.
Yeah, it's pin blit in 2021.
Yeah, that is funny that they pick that picture.
He doesn't look like he doesn't even look athletic.
That guy should be organizing a peasant revolt in the year 1200.
Like that's what he looks like.
That's him most recently in the Chandler fight.
I think he's a rising star.
I don't think it matters about his skill level.
They should just keep feeding him cans.
If it was me, I would not want that guy to lose. I don't think it matters about his skill level. They should just keep feeding him cans. If it was me,
I would not want that guy to lose. I'd be scabby protecting him.
We're MVP fight. Was it, it wasn't strike force. Was it one?
Bella tour? Maybe I forget.
I don't watch any of the other, uh,
Or he is, I'm sorry to interrupt it,
but he did what you're suggesting Patty does,
which is like he kind of avoided the top guys and had a
Brutal career putting on a good show he won with a lot of like spinning back fists
And he might do flips in the cage
I don't know if I'm exaggerating a little bit acrobatic showman
And he won with punches that you didn't see coming because no one else does that wacky silly movie stuff
But he'd work it in.
Uh, it was fun.
Yeah. When he needed opponent, he'd roll a imaginary Poke ball at them and capture
them like that.
Yeah, there's some good fights coming out.
The fighters are the age where like they were.
It's so weird being the same age as a lot of these guys,
because you you never thought about it like that.
And now it's like, oh, this guy's like in his 30s
and then they have like a little Pokemon reference.
And it's like, oh, this guy was probably into the same shit.
I was at the same time soon as they start calling for retirement.
This guy just doesn't have any, he's 34.
Hang up the gloves, would you?
Oh, that is the worst.
Now like I'll see the blues trading
for like a placeholder defenseman.
And I'll be like, this guy's a fucking old man.
What is he nine months younger than me?
Now, maybe give him a chance.
He can still play. He can still do.
Yeah. Dude, speed of hockey.
Just briefly, what are your Carolina hurricanes are in dire straits.
The Florida Panthers are in a row.
It's they need four in a row.
Yeah. Is it for my run? It's yeah. Well, because it in a row. It's they need four in a row. Yeah.
Wait, is it for my wrong? It's yeah. Well, cause it's a best of seven and they're down
Oh three. Oh, I thought it was three one for some reason. Yeah. So they're down. Uh, it's
in a level of disrespect. I haven't seen in a while in the NHL, the Florida Panthers are
resting three of their starters in game, in game four being like,
oh, we're going to score them 16 to four in those three games.
So it's been brutal.
It's great.
Cause I watched some Carolina games before in the previous series and I'm like,
man, Carolina.
Okay.
Yeah.
Florida's rolling everyone, but Carolina is going to give them a fight.
Like they're a real thing.
Carolina was rolling in Northern Florida was their opponents.
Yeah.
Carolina was looking solid and I can't believe how much they've just fallen
apart.
Like floor is so fucking good.
And it's so weird to have Florida teams be good in the NHL.
I mean, like all of Canada has been crying for 30 years, no cups and like Tampa
Bay is like stringing together two in a row.
Florida's about to do it.
Like the Toronto.
Well, the hot series is between North Carolina
and Florida for me.
Yeah.
And like everyone.
It's kind of nice to be a player in those climates.
For sure.
Like that's a hundred percent of the move.
Like imagine being a superstar in Nashville.
That rocks.
Yeah.
It's awesome.
You get all the benefits.
Like, do you want to be actually famous
and have people sing your name?
Just go to the right bar.
Do you want to be actually anonymous
and just enjoy a normal life with a girlfriend?
Just go to the grocery store.
They don't see you there.
Yeah.
Or you could be on the Toronto Maple Leafs
like Mitch Marner.
And when he underperforms in the playoffs,
people like throw garbage on his lawn.
And they're like, I wonder if he's going to resign or if we're going to resign them.
And I'm like, I'm going to I'm going to bet that guy doesn't want to come back
and play for Toronto.
That guy would be a world beater in North Carolina,
where everyone's like, oh, you play for the Hurricanes.
We have a hockey team. Really?
That's interesting.
Like people wouldn't even know.
It's crazy.
Or they could they could bring back
the the old thrashers.
I'd love to get into your sport.
I wish I could get into
yours as much as I'm into mine.
I think if I never played it,
I would I would I would have a love for it
or I could I could get on board.
But that's the thing.
That's why Woody gets it,
because he's played and like any sport you actually play, you're going to,
you're going to enjoy it.
You guys obviously have more experience than me rolling and doing things.
I mean, I wrestled the middle school, but UFC wasn't a thing when I was in middle
school, no rematch ever, Taylor, your arms are intimidating.
No, it's fine.
I I'll retire.
Oh, I saw a video the other day.
This black guy putting a guillotine on a skinny white kid, lifting him off the
ground till his legs kicked. And I was like, I've seen this somewhere before.
He slept in and then, you know, you know how you can release like, like quickly to
make them fall and then slam their head on the ground.
Yeah, he gave him one of them. He didn't play.
He's a grass.
No, no, no.
The pavement head strike is always so much worse than the punches.
It's like, oh, at least the hands have give.
I watch a ton of fights online.
I watch as many fights as I do shootings.
And like those are my two favorite categories of like wild ass videos that like if a car of fights online. I watch as many fights as I do shootings. And like those are my two favorite categories
of like wild ass videos that like if a car can hit somebody
while they're shooting them, that's the best.
I saw that the other day, the cop ran the bad guy over,
hit him with his car, sent him flying,
then got out and shot him.
I was like, this is the track, this is perfect.
I was jealous of how fun and how empty seemed
on your day a few days ago when we were texting and you were like, yeah, this dumb bitch needs
to deliver my shit from door to ash. But as soon as she does, I'm just eating brats and
watching police shootings all day. And I'm like, damn, what a fun day. Just brought it
up. I didn't like your they didn't get sauerkraut. That seems like an oversight, but my onions
are good too.
I don't like the sauerkraut. It doesn't have a, like a, a strong enough flavor to me. It's
just sort of texture.
Oh, I like, I think it's a very strong vinegar flavor, which you're already getting with
the mustard. True. Like I put horseradish on there sometimes and get that, that bite.
That's clear sinuses out. I like horse radish a lot in everything.
I've got a bottle. This is the most like obese thing I do. I bought a bottle of Arby's horsey
sauce, like a bottle of it that's in my fridge. And whenever I have roast beef sandwiches, I'm like,
to get that stuff out. I don't think that kind of thing doesn't even go bad. I keep that in my
fridge for two years and still eat it. Yeah, it's it's in your fridge horse radish
What's what's good? Well, I mean, it's horsey sauce. So it's like there's mayo and the horseradish
Yeah with mayo eggs modern preservatives. I don't preserve my life. I just believe that it can't go wrong. I
It'll change colors when it's bad and I'm wait if that ever happens
Yeah, if the container starts expanding
You know, there's a reaction going on inside.'s bad that's just fermentation that's good yeah it's gonna make it a little harder yeah yeah it's
like a do you ever I'm a big wasabi guy when I yeah you see and you always like
you you put a ton on there every once in a while.
And then that bite, it's just like,
it's like you've just like stepped,
it's like the old icebreakers commercials.
I like that.
Like a white person.
Breath is cold.
I have no respect for the fish.
I don't care about the slicing that happened in the back.
I don't care.
Cause I'm going to take my bite of sushi roll
and I'm going to dunk it in the soy sauce
And then I'm gonna have like a whole dollop of wasabi on on top. I'm not gonna taste the fish. It's texture
Oh, no, I get sashimi. Like I like the fish. I like I think is
Nigeria, Nigeria, whichever here is the one that's on top of rice. So she is just the cut of me
I like that huge chunk of rice with that big piece of raw fish.
That to me is like the most high quality,
like when I do that, I don't smother it.
But if I'm getting like spicy tuna rolls,
which is what I order, if I'm getting sushi rolls,
then I'm ducking that shit like it's McDonald's.
I never buy rolls.
Like I always think about the meat breakdown.
It's like, I want tons of meat.
And so it's gotta be nigiri or even preferably sashimi.
I just order like, like what we'll usually do, there's, if there's three or four of us is we'll
order like a bunch of roles, we'll get like a whole bunch of different things. We'll get some
deep fried rolls and some flash fried rolls and some raw rolls and a bunch of Nagiri and
sashimi and just have like a little I've gotten the boat before which
I always appreciate where a restaurant does a sushi boat. Woody they actually bring out a boat.
They have a wooden ship completely covered in like 180 dollars worth of fish. It's awesome.
It's fun to eat. It's their version of the fajitas at a Mexican restaurant.
Everybody's like I should have got the boat. That is the most, I don't think I've
ever heard a more apt description of the boat. That is their fajitas. That's their song and dance.
And it's great. Are you not a sushi guy, Woody? No, no. And I've tried it. I've tried it all.
And every time I say, I just don't like sushi. I've given it 12 tries. Have you tried California
roll? Half of those times like it.
I don't like California rolls.
I don't either.
I like the cucumber.
Yeah, Nagiri is what you want.
Nagiri is sashimi like you disagree about the meat, but like the meat's what's good.
Like the if you get a good piece of tuna, like there's a lot of flavor in there.
It's great.
Yeah, yeah, I like good tuna and I don't eat eel or any of the other stuff.
I like I like It's great. Yeah. Yeah. I like good tuna and I don't eat eel or any of the other stuff. I like, I like the eels. Great. I like the, the red tuna, which I don't think that's yellow tail.
Whatever the good tuna is. I like that a lot. And I don't really stray from that. I have before. I
remember one time I bought this roll that was like $48 for this sushi roll. It was a prawn roll.
And when it came out, Taylor, it was, you know, sushi rolls are eight or nine inches long
The prawn what it was a single prawn its head stuck out one end and its tail stuck out the other and I forced
Myself to eat it because it was fifty fucking dollars. I was so queasy and sick for this bad about it
Like it's it's even that much. It was too much
It was like a like shrimp first supposed to be little than like bite size.
This was these huge.
Like it was like a burger made of like a giant.
I'm telling you this prawn could have like it would have been an enemy in Skyrim.
That's it.
It would have been a two hit enemy.
Yeah, that I when I see giant amounts of meat, I'm happy with it.
Like I'm good with.
I don't like because usually if I'm getting sushi or sashimi, I do like the like
they'll have like chef's choice where it's like, all right, give me the 18
piece sashimi chef's choice.
And they just like basically pick what they have in that day.
And sometimes they fuck you with either mackerel.
Get fucked with mackerel on sushi.
That is not that doesn't deserve to be there.
Or shrimp.
It's like cooked shrimp.
And it's like, this is what the fuck?
Like this isn't even sushi.
This is just cooked shrimp on rice at this point.
The fish I really like is if I'm at Morton's or Fleming's,
I'll get the chilled seafood tower.
That's so good. There's like oysters. like is if I'm at Morton's or Fleming's, I'll get the chilled seafood tower.
That's so good. There's like oysters, oysters.
There's crab meat that's been like taken out and there's just a bowl of crab meat.
There's shrimp. There's
can't remember what else.
There's also the clams, lobster, not clams, but it's all chilled.
And it comes out.
And again, this big presentation presentation piece and there's like, it's like tiered,
you know, each level has a different mission. There's all the sauces and a Kutraman.
You've got your lemons and Tabasco and chili sauce. Yeah. Yeah. That every, when I look at oysters,
that's one food where I'll like look at it visually and be like
how do I like this like this is the worst looking food ever and then you like put a little tabasco
on a cracker you get a little mara mara I go I so I spill the juice out first because I don't know
what that is but I hit it with tabasco and I hit it with a little scoop of that like chili sauce and
I straight down straight out of the shell.
Oh, I like the cracker.
I've had really good ones from high-end seafood restaurants and like a bunch of states and
I've also had red lobster raw oysters.
I swear to God I did that one night.
I was on a date at Red Lobster and and I was like oysters and she's like no I'm like dozen oysters and you know by the ninth one
they start tasting like snot so the opposite of beers the first beer tastes
like shit the ninth one tastes like candy. The first oyster is delicious.
The ninth one is like, oh, there's a little grip there.
You burp and it's like, oh,
I have been eating something kind of weird.
This fucking raw oyster.
Apparently they're really good for you.
And anytime I even hear through the grapevine
that a food that I love is really good for me.
I never have a look into it ever.
Have zinc maybe or they have like zinc and saline. Apparently they're,
they are very like mineral dense because of the way they eat.
Like they sift it out of the sea water. They're nutrient dense.
That's what it is. I don't know all the nutrients in there.
Probably like zinc and iron.
Google AI says trail mix can be a healthy snack.
Well. Boom. Perfect.
I say take it to the bank and have a nice snack evening.
Therefore, it doesn't make you fat.
I bet you can trick it into saying the soft pretzels are OK more than once a week.
You guys ready to rap? Yeah.
All right. PKN 562.