Painkiller Already - PKN 566

Episode Date: June 24, 2025

PKN 566, lots of things to talk about, but I want to hear about Kyle's Gardener. Oh man. You got enough of a tiff that it's stressing you out now? No, what I was, it started with me saying that I woke up from a nightmare and then I immediately forgot what the nightmare was. And now I can't remember what the nightmare was

to sort of say to myself, ah, don't worry about that. Or, oh yeah, that thing. So I just, I, I'm in this sort of state of gloom right now. That's, that's weighing on me because I know right before I woke up, I was very afraid or stressed about something and it was probably goblins. It was probably like literal goblins were after me. Are goblins a thing that cause you stress in your dreams? No, but I do have dreams about monsters chasing me occasionally or like running through the woods from evil.

You know what I mean? I watch a lot of horror. I, you know, lots of scary shit. I was hoping you'd say yes, because that's hilarious. Goblins are pretty low on the tier of spooks and specters, frankly. I think they might be your covenant grunts of horror. You know, like, steer back to gardeners. Gardener. They're real. Yeah. So I mentioned the other thing because I was up all night watching horror movies I like all the way till 9 a.m. And I'm sitting there. I'm like fuck this Let's have some coffee and I'm sitting there drinking my coffee watching my third horror movie of the night

And I hear talking in my backyard and my backyard is this closed off big thing With with trees and stuff and there's there's a but like, there's a gate that's closed. And I have it so that my dogs can just go out the dog door. And so they have free room of the backyard. They can leave the house in and out anytime they want. And I hear somebody outside talking, and I think it's one of my neighbors. There's guys had like a hangout spot next door

in the backyard, like a little patio and such, but they're usually not that loud. And I was like, what am I hearing? And so I get up very carefully because the dogs are all over me. Like I have three dogs in my lap, and if they hear shit, they're going to go bananas and literally attack. And I close the door and I walk out there and there's a man out there in my backyard and it's clearly a gardener man.

This asshole is pulling weeds out of my garden like a maniac. He doesn't have permission to be there. This is a stranger to me who doesn't have permission to be in my yard wait wait wait i thought he was your gardener this is you've never met him before no no this is a when we say gardener what i mean is the lawn man who was recently hired and has hasn't shown up for a week like he was supposed to be here a week ago and he shows up today. And part of his like, uh, part of the messaging to him was like, Hey, make sure you text like 30 minutes before you get here. I have dogs that need to be brought in and gates that need to be closed and such. And he's just out there. And, and if I hadn't been up all

night till 9am, the dogs would have attacked him. Like they would have just went outside and got him. And and even worse, he's got the gate open. So I'm like, hey, what are you doing? I'm here. Cut the grass. And I'm just like, great speech impediment. Wonderful. I'm just like, you were nobody told me. He's like, oh, you didn't hear the video. And like, no, you didn't message me. You didn't tell me. I was like, I have dogs. They could have gotten you. Do you want your grass cut or not? And I'm like, fuck, no, I don't.

Oh, you went through that gate? That's the gate that's nailed shut. You had to kick that in to get in here. I get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here. And I start like moving toward him now. We're at this speed now and he's hustling now. I'm bringing my Down syndrome dog with me.

Listen, sir, you're the one that went with Lispy at his gardening. I'm coming to get you now. And so he hustles out and he's screaming at the other guy, Kevin, Kevin. I like get the fuck out and stay out. Don't you come back. And I like fucking now I'm out there and I had to work on the fuck out and stay out. Don't you come back. And they're like fucking, now I'm out there. And I had to work on the gate for 10 minutes cause he broke it. He kicked the one gate is like locked shut and it's never supposed to open.

And it's literally nailed shut. So the dogs can't escape. And the other one is the one you use. He's kicked a gate in. I'm out after repair it now. I was so mad. He was very scared. It's nailed shut?

Yeah, yeah. It's nailed shut because. So imagine two gates that swing together and in the middle, there's a post and to keep that from all like leaning forward one way enough that dogs can escape. I nailed it to the post. Like we're never going to need a double gate to my backyard, but he apparently did. No, I had a meltdown on him. That was a double gate with a post in the middle, like a double gate?

You could get your car through. So I appreciate that. With a post in the middle, what are we doing here? So the way the post works, if we're to break the minutiae down, that matters, not even the slightest. There is a PVC pipe set into the ground that the post slides into. Then and so you can open the gates, remove the post, and then you could drive a full car in there.

OK, thank you. I had to know. So you could someday drive. So sure. Sorry, Kyle, go ahead. I was gonna say you're on location. Where are we? I'm in Florida.

And did you drive there? Having a great time? No, no. I was a big, You're not even a midwesterner anymore. Proponent. I'm not even a midwesterner at this point because my girlfriend was like,

hey, my dad and my brother want to drive down with their families and we can have like a, like a bit of a convoy going and we can have like a bit of a convoy going and we can even get walkie talkies so we can communicate between one another. And I was like, this sounds like hell on earth to me. I don't wanna do that. And so I was like, I'm a bit of a spoil sport.

And I convinced her her I was like hey we can fly out of Belleville Illinois and how far is that? Belleville is about an hour from me it's like southern Illinois. It's not nearly as classy as Belleville New Jersey. So we left from the airport there. It's not nearly as classy. Whatever I don't know what Belleville New Jersey is but it's not anyway, whatever I don't know what Belleville, New Jersey is, but it's I guarantee is classier than this and it's like a rural farm town with a random Mid-America Airport in the middle and I was like we can if we can fly out of here cheaper then it would cost in gas to make it to Florida we should do that and so I convinced her to do that and it was a hundred

percent the right move. I didn't have to drive for 19 hours with some hellish situation where every time her brother's five-year-old had to pee, I had to stop also. Can you imagine that? I brought it up to her as a point of ridiculous, as a point of ridiculous, as a point of ridiculous, where I was like, so literally every time, you know, Melanie has to pee, we all have to stop. And I thought the answer would be something reasonable. Like, well, no, you keep driving

and then everyone catches back up. And she was like, no, but it won't even take that long. Like she'll just have to do that sometimes. I was like, this is, what a fucking nightmare. Can you imagine the worst nightmare than a 19 hour trip? You should have gone in the other direction. One, come up with a really dope handle.

I don't know, road pirate maybe. And two, talk in CB language all weekend, right? You know, like just when you need someone's attention, lead with breaker breaker, right? You think this through, uh, ask for people's, what is it? 20? That's your location. That's your, what's your 20? What's your 10 20 use codes? This is the way I would have gone. Anywhere you're more of a man. Anyway, I couldn't, I couldn't handle that. Well, I would have, I would have, I you're more anyway. I couldn't I could Know I would have I would have I would embrace the culture that does sound kind of fun

Yeah, I think I'd rock the CBs all trip like if someone's in the kitchen, you know breaker breaker I'm road pirate here. I'm sure lemonade you ever get on the CB and talk to truckers and stuff Mm-hmm when I was a teenager, I used to have that we CB and talk to truckers and stuff? When I was a teenager, I used to have that we, uh, we would talk to truckers. And then there was one guy who was really mad at us. We didn't, we weren't good conversationalists. So we would just ask people for radio checks all the time. Like, you know, how's our signal coming through? And we just like, I don't know.

That was how we opened every conversation. We didn't know what we were doing. And some guy in a, not really, no, no, no one would want to talk to me voluntarily, but we were there trying anyway. And there was a guy in a with a what's a tow truck. He wasn't a semi he was in a tow truck. And he was able to like, locate us by the strength of our signal. And he literally was like, I'm outside your house right now. And we're like, putting our faces up to the window. And he literally was like, I'm outside your house right now. We're like putting our faces up to the window

and he hecking was man, there was a tow truck driver angry at us in the front. Like my dad. Come on in faggot. And then describe your dad, I'm big and angry. Right, try to do a dad voice. We're barely hitting puberty. But yeah, there was an angry tow truck driver in like on the street

in front of us telling us he was going to get us. And that's when we went radio silent for a little bit. We didn't talk again for hours. I remember jumping on the CB and I could I was we're close enough to Interstate 85 growing up that you could you could pick up a lot of truckers as they were passing through. And I had gotten a good CB radio, or at least maybe good for the time.

I had a big ass antenna at least, and it was a full box, and it was a CB radio from a trucker. And I just remember getting on there and going through the channels, and there was a guy and a girl like chatting. Like on channel 37, there's just like a guy and a girl like having a normal human conversation.

Ah, you know, the weather is good. But well, who's going to say what what tomorrow will bring? Yeah, that's how it is indeed. Just rolling along here. And I'm just like, take it off. And then and then there's like silence on the line and they're like, well, anyway, I think maybe then I'm like, show us your tits.

Just being obnoxious as fuck until they get mad at me. But then I distinctly remember like you described being afraid that they catch me. Meanwhile, I'm miles away from the interstate in like, like, like on my dad's farm. You know what I mean? Like, like they're not coming to get me. Dude, I had a different experience, but it reminded me of this. Like there was a guy on the CB radio, graphically describing how he banged this woman

the night before. Oh my. How wet she was, this and that. And I'm here at like 12 years old. And I don't think he heard me, but I'm like, did she have boobies? Right? Right?

And then he kept going. You know, the kind of question you fire out. Actually, no, she lost him in the war, but the bottom half was very much in play. But the guy telling the story, he must not have heard me because he just kept rolling on with like graphic details of him banging this girl in the different positions and then eventually someone else butted in and he's like, you know, I forget breaker breaker. You know, there's uh there's kids listening in and there's probably not the conversation you should have and he ruined it. That's how it ended. What a loser. Oh yeah. Well, listen up kids. You learn a thing or two about pleasing a woman. Yeah, right. I I've ruined it. Did she have boobies of what I was enhancing Yeah, I had no moves. That's funny. So what do you got planned? I met a 71 year old man today that was one of the more interesting people I've talked to in my life. We were talking about his childhood and whatnot. He's like, well, I raised four families.

And I was like, I don't have time to get into this with you, but it sounds interesting. And he was like, first time I almost died, I was a lineman, Indiana. No, I'm from around Purdue. And so I was I was doing lineman work and then a live wire came off. I thought I could grab it and, you know, settle it back where it needed to be before it, you know, came on down to the ground, but it, it doesn't shock me. That's why I got all these horrible scars.

And I was like, yeah, yeah, I could have guessed that before we started talking. Actually, that where your lips went. Yeah. Yeah. Here's a real, a real skeletal for guy, but he was like, yeah, that's where I almost died for the first time. Second time, I almost died a family in a, in a, in a pig pan at a young age and they almost done stomped me out.

I was like, well, what the, what the like, and this is like me saying hello. My inroad to him is I've said hello. My girlfriend and I are sitting at the bar and we're getting our first beer and he's like, yeah, I'll tell you another thing. I almost died. He's just teeing off. Old man style. And he's telling me like, he was alone.

Yes. And he also was telling me, he was alone. Yes. And he also was telling me he was like, my girlfriend mentioned something about how she likes taking like a 10 milligram normal dose edible some nights because it's relaxing and it's nice. And this guy was like, yeah, edibles, marijuana is pretty good. I remember in the 70ies and eighties, I did a huge amount of cocaine and also I dabbled in meth, and so it was like every, he dabbled in meth. He was a meth addict. You gotta hit this guy in the show. He was sick.

I loved, big shout out to Jim. By the end of our conversation, he was like, so you do a fucking podcast? That's gay as hell. Let me check it out. And, but yeah, he was, he was apparently almost dying most years from 1970 to 2010. And then he would like, he would only mention him passing, but not in detail. He'd be like, yeah, my first wife passed away doing you know and it was like no I don't I don't know what she could have possibly passed away doing

was she a professional fighter like what what what are you implying that she died from sir but I wasn't gonna push on that but this guy ruled he he basically seems like a 71 year old man who did an insane amount of acid and psilocybin in the 70s and 80s. And I even asked him, I was like, what was the punishment like in the 1970s for getting caught with mushrooms? And he was like, what are you talking about? There was no punishment. They just didn't, they didn't care. Like it wasn't, it wasn't even on the the registry of drugs you could get caught for. And so if you showed up fucked up on mushrooms, I guess you would get in trouble for the same reason you'd get in trouble showing fucked up on alcohol But he said there was literally no punishment at least in rural, Indiana Which is where old Jim was from for doing huge amounts of psilocybin in the 70s

This seems like the kind of thing Kyle would know more about because you did you just 1970s when it was made illegal Did you gather? Why he raised four families? I mean I I get that one died from, you know, but beyond that? I got through two of the families where he was like, yeah. I only got there two where he was like, yeah, that was my first wife and she, you know, she's actually still living, believe it or not.

And it's like, there's no reason for me to not believe you. And so, like, why would you say believe it or not? She made it to 72. Well, my second wife, we were married 21 years. We had three other kids and then she died in 2020. And I didn't ask like, how did your wife die, sir? I've just met. But he kept saying like, she died in 2020. And so she probably got COVID all ate up by the COVID. That's a good guess. I also wonder how he slipped in two more families in the last five years, unless there's some overlap.

I think he may have been, he may have been horse talking. He may have been, he may have been a load of nonsense because there was no room in his story for four families unless two were entirely Like just 100 never even saw him got a lady pregnant and just never saw her again because He was also talking about like oh, yeah my my son he works for uh What is it called northrop Grummond, which is like a military industrial company. He works in Northrop Grummond in Australia.

And I was like, that's interesting. Like that. What does that even mean? He's like, well, his wife's an engineer and has to sign things that says she can't talk about what she does. And then my son, he's just an accountant. He can do whatever, say whatever he wants. And I wanted to step in and be like, first of all,

first of all, sir, an accountant is one of God's highest treasures. Like someone who should be looked out for and taken care of as a unique soldier of reality. But yeah, he was great. He got like shithouse sitting there over the course of like an hour. Like, you know how you don't see 70 year old people like drink a ton of alcohol? Just, it just seems like a normal thing. Like you don't

see him drink a lot because it's got to be hell on earth being hung over when you're 71 This guy got shit-faced Shit-faced he was drinking two three drinks for every one my girlfriend and I got Combined he might be an experienced drinker It seemed like that because he also was saying stuff like you know Uh, we were like, how do you like, what are you doing in the morning?

And he's like, well, I wake up at 415 and I do. Okay, Jocko stars. Yeah. And it was like, you like to look at the stars and he's like, yeah, like, look at the stars. You know, when I was a kid, we didn't have as many stars. That's such bullshit. We would have had more stars! But I'm also sitting there, and I'm like, you know, I can't cause a rift in this sitting-next-to-him relationship before I even get my chicken quesadilla. I can't allow that.

Where did the new stars come from? I can't have an uncomfortable eating experience. Yeah, I think we definitely have viewers. That's what they say. Yeah. If any, you're a hundred percent right. They will 100% had more stars than us as far as visibility. There's no way they did. It's the visibility we're talking about. To be clear, the number of stars that exist is probably comparable to what it was 30, 50 years ago.

But the viewing, there just has to be more light pollution now. I can't imagine that there's less. Light pollution, atmosphere pollution, all that stuff. I know when I first went to Texas and New Mexico and got out into that desert, it was like, oh my God, that was there the whole time? Fuck, that's so, like, I my God, that was there the whole time. Fuck, that's so, like I just, we were outside for, we would go outside for an, I would say go outside

in the desert for an hour or two at a time and just, I'd have to like fix my neck because I've got it craned up looking for so long. You can see the Milky Way, you know, you can see through the middle of the sky, it was incredible. You can't see that here. I remember I went, we were whitewater rafting down the grand canyon and we were sleeping on the riverbank and uh that is an environment where you can see stars it's second to none it's a desert

in the night time and the yeah there was no moon anyway you could see i might have my phrasing wrong here but like if i say it you'll know what i mean i think you could see, I might have my phrasing wrong here, but like if I say it, you'll know what I mean. I think you could see the nebula, like the purplish thing if you look long enough. That's the lucky way. You're looking into, you know, we're in a, the galaxy is this donut. You're looking into the donut.

You know, we're also in that donut spinning. You're looking into it. And you're seeing layers of stars, that you're seeing the whole galaxy spinning. Okay. I trust that you're right. I'm not, I'm outside my, I'm scientifically illiterate. I've said it before, but I had never seen the sort of like

purple cloudy kind of stars before, only the dots and the planets, which have color sometimes. But that was amazing to me. And I was on, I was on the beach with this 15 year old falling in love, which in hindsight, I look at that love of mine at 15 is like a magic trick, like a circumstance of two people in an environment almost designed to be special. So it was pretty weird. It was like last year?

When I was 15? No. Oh, she was 15. Oh, Jesus Christ. We were both 15. Oh, that's much more acceptable. Oh yeah. Zach, can you show that picture?

Yeah, I had never been able to see that before until I got out into the desert. It's not evident when you've got light pollution. Even in like rural Georgia, it's not evident. Yeah, I think there's the content of the liquid in the atmosphere that prevents you from seeing stars very well on the East Coast. It's just too humid.

Maybe, yeah. It's certainly too humid. Maybe, yeah. It's certainly, in New Mexico and Texas it was. I've never seen a sky that pretty. This is a little. Timelapse. Exaggerated compared to what I saw. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you would definitely be like.

They've overexposed this. Yeah, yeah. To soak up all that light. There were hints of this that I could see with the naked eye, sleeping on the river bank at night. It's dope. Yeah, I've heard some astrophysicist or somebody talk about how our ancestors got to see that every night and we have less wonderment perhaps about the night sky and about space and such because our views have been so degraded and polluted over time that it's like, oh yeah,

there's like, I don't know, 30 stars and there's the moon. And that's kind of all you can see. But our ancestors, why NASA got defended. Poor NASA. That's one of the that's one of my least favorite things about the Trump administration. They've been on us. They've been feeding on us, dude. They've been saying we're not going back to the moon earlier than 2025. They can't without the funding, Taylor.

I can't believe it. Taylor Taylor. They can't without the funding. Taylor, that was straight up truth. I don't know why you're saying we won't get there before 2025 as a fib. Gotcha, checkmate, baby. That's... That's... Okay, that was fully true.

We did not get there before 2025. It must be a later date. And it's like, get it together, NASA, because you're making yourself appear foolish next to like SpaceX. Because apparently they can do it. They can go to space. Why can't NASA get their asses off there?

They're sitting on their laurels over at NASA. They're like, we went to the moon. Easy trips. Like what? The moon is so much farther than the space station it's easy to get that twisted is it i'm not right and i'm close i think we're talking about like 75 miles versus a quarter million miles yes like that's exactly what you're talking about i think star links around 65 miles 75 miles and star and the earth and the moon is a quarter million miles. Okay.

Scientifically semi-liberate. I'm upgrading myself. Yeah. Kyle, why don't you think they've gone back to the moon? Do you see it as like there's no reason? No, there's reasons. There's no money. It's too expensive and they don't have the vehicle anymore.

Like when they ended the Apollo program, I think Nixon did it. There was plans for, you know, their numbered missions, Apollo one, two, three, four, five. There were plans to like Apollo 30 or something like that. Woody and I really like that show, For All Mankind. And there's parts of that early on where you've got Werner von Braun, ex-Nazi, future patriot.

It was like his plan is like, yeah, first we go to the moon and then Mars in fives to ten years. And that was his plan. He built the Saturn V. The reason it's so big and so powerful, that rocket that we used, he wanted to go to the moon. That was also a moon rocket or Mars rather. So Nixon cut off cut the funding, cancel the program, shelve the rockets and went in a different direction. It's the money. It's purely money. NASA is full of people who want to explore space. That's what they do. You won't find NASA that doesn't isn't as big of a Star Trek fan as me, for example, I bet I bet they're all like, yeah, two box socks. I wish we could go to the fucking black cloud, the Jovian moons explore the ice like you don't think they want to do that stuff. I'm sure they do. It's full of nerds who want to explore space, they don't have the money. And Trump has cut it once again. They do lots of stuff though.

They just don't get good publicity. I think they need a better publicist at NASA to like, every now and then they'll be like, oh, James Webb found this. All right, that's great. I love the James Webb findings and pictures and stuff, but they don't talk about the little missions they do where they've got orbiters around the moon taking pictures

or orbiters around earth or stuff traveling around looking at stuff. I don't feel like, maybe people don't care, but I always find it fascinating. Like, wait, we've got an orbit around the moon right now? Yeah, of course we do. Fuck, nobody told me, that's neat. Do any other countries, I wonder?

I bet the answer is no. There's this picture of all the different craft that have went up and been able to photograph the initial Apollo moon landing site. It's one of those things that they wheel out when people are skeptical of the moon landing. Like, all right, well, here's where China took pictures of it. Here's where India took pictures of it. Like all of our enemies and our allies have these varying in quality pictures. It's not like they've got like five Polaroids lined up. It's like they're using different camera systems taken from different places,

but it's the same landing site over and over. I think there was a Chinese company that sent a lander up a month or two back, and it fell over or something. It fucked up. They're sending lots of stuff up there but not people which is what always the orbiting part that I feel like there's a certain budget associated with keeping a satellite going around the moon all the time unless I misunderstood you say I don't even know I don't know what's involved with that why would there

be right like once it's up there you know Why would there be, right? Like once it's up there, you know? Why would it be expensive to maintain it after it's there? I don't know, I just feel like it is. Like some of it. Anymore than you do. Well, you're just like sending signals back and forth, right? I know they keep like making Voyager work again. Voyager's so far away.

It's been traveling since the seventies or something. It's the furthest thing from earth that anything has ever been. And it's hauling ass. So is Voyager 2. Voyager 2 is going faster than Voyager 1, some ungodly speed. And they use these mechanical, old-timey tape hard drives,

plutonium batteries, and the equipment has been failing one piece at a time over the years but they keep like sending code out there and Waiting for fucking a day till it gets there at the speed of light and then it's like, oh, yeah woke up Oh, it sent us back something good. Okay, it understands. We're back in business, baby And they'll like get the sensors to work again It's incredible that that tech from the 70s,

clearly they overbuilt that thing and built it to last. That to me is one of the greatest examples of American technocracy and engineering that Voyager still works. That is super cool. Is it even around anything super important to us at this point or is it like we're still just sending stuff just to see that it can respond. I

Don't know what it's doing out there now. It's out probably into the it's out in the Oort cloud now. It's really far away I don't remember the last I remember I saw those pictures from it forever ago where it's like looking back at our star and Now our star is a fucking star in the night It's no longer a fucking like you can't differentiate it from the other stars They're part. They're that far away. I Don't like that. That's spooky Makes us appear pretty irrelevant. I saw like that Saturn

they took a picture from Saturn of Uranus and like Uranus is just this blue star in the night. And it's just like, it adds so much like comprehension to how big the solar system is, it's terrifying. It's terrifying. There's a YouTube video that I think Kyle would really like and it was about what earth would be like if it had rings. And I think earth had rings at one point. I'm not positive it did.

Yeah. And they just, they did what I assume is a really good job at recreating like what the rings would be like, what they would be like around cities, how they would impact the night sky, when they would shine. And it was really cool. Yeah, it's pretty. Yeah, after a Thaea, there were rings.

Thaea being what became our moon is that right? Theia was another planet that collided with Earth and hit it such an angle that it went deep enough to knock off a moon-sized chunk of our planet at least but not so deep as to hit the core of the earth. And then there are these simulations that show the two blobs that were created of molten goo that then coalesced into earth and moon. But they know that from a number of things. It was a different body that struck earth

and then that body didn't become the moon. I always thought what would become the moon hit us. Interesting. Yeah, I mean, it's both. The moon is made of the same stuff as we are though, is the main thing. Okay. The moon is still pretty sick.

Of course the moon is sick. The moon is so sick that it's one of the things that makes me wonder if there is a God. The thing is perfectly aligned to create those solar eclipses. It's the perfect distance away for us. I know that distance has changed over time, but right now it's perfect, like solar eclipse when that thing moves in front.

It's rotating at the exact speed that the earth is or whatever. It's locked. So the moon spins, but the same side of it faces us all the time because they're locked together in a perfect watch-like mechanism. It's not even tidally locked. There are some planets that always face their star with the same side. That don't, they don't, they have their title. That's what tidally locked is, I think. You have one side that's always day

and one side that's always night. The moon is spinning. It's just synced up with the earth's rotation so that we always look at the same side. It's a little hard to picture. I remember when I was a kid, my dad was like, wait a minute, does the moon, this is like when I was like 12.

And I remember us sitting there with coffee cups on the table, like 12 and I remember us sitting there with coffee cups on the table Like spinning and rotating them together and like trying to work out what was going on And I think we got it right back then. Um, I heard Neil deGrasse Tyson talking about it the other day Uh, but yeah, the the moon and its relationship with earth is fascinatingly Tailor made almost you know, it's it's bizarre how perfectly it matches up. There aren't any other moons like that that we've seen. All the other moons are little. When we look in our solar system, all the other moons around stuff, they're small compared to our moon. Like the ratio.

They've got bullshit moons. We have one of the bigger moons. Wait, ratio. That changes things a bit. Both. Because like Saturn's ginormous. I think you have to get to Jupiter to find a larger, Saturn's ginormous. I think you have to get to Jupiter to find a larger in material sense moon than what we have. Kyle probably knows more. Like is it largest moon Europa? Is that around Saturn? Do I have that right? No, that's Jupiter.

That's Jupiter. OK. Ganymede, which orbits Jupiter is the biggest moon, but and I'm looking at a scale here of the moons let's see where's the lunar head on this well you didn't put our moon on the fucking list of comparisons on a first name basis with our moon oh my god I think it's important that you we're comparing it on the list when we're comparing it to other moons support it's the most important moon it's our moon one's the moon and the others are just moons and the Sun's name is so the solar yeah yeah who want to be you want to be pedantic about it

because like one of those people that breaks into a Spanish accent when Mexico comes up. Yeah, this is just me talking normally about Mexico. Kyle, you'd be the kind of politician who is like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez doing this or that. I think that's silly to me. You'd backfill it with a little accent. I agree, too. I agree. If if you did it with a little accent. I agree too, I agree.

If you did it with France, right? In America we call it France, right? In France, I think they call it France or France. It's something like that. And if I suddenly was like, yeah, you know, that country nearby Germany, France, you'd be like, what'd he stop it? You'd like give it up.

Just cause that's how they say it. That's not how Americans say it. And I think that should extend to other places too. If you spoke French, I wouldn't mind. Agreed. That's the thing. To me, that's the big barrier. Like if you spoke French, then that would make sense for you.

But if you're just some cracker, reading the fucking weather report, don't fucking slip into an accent. Croissant. You never been to... You eat croissants motherfucker. You're from Missouri. Get out of here. If you spoke French and you weren't some sort of professional communicator,

I'd be cool with it, right? That's just how you say it. But if you're on TV as a news anchor or something, even if you speak Spanish, don't like, I don't know. Keep it American for me. I'm your audience. Whenever I would travel, I would like to watch the local news

because it's like, oh, let's see what they do around here. I know, I remember I got so sick and fucking tired of the local news in prison. It was that Montgomery, Alabama bullshit. But in LA, it's like, oh my God, everybody here is a movie star. They got hotties on the fucking news. This is crazy

and they would always slip into that but it made sense because I bet a Third of their audience maybe more is Latino and like Spanish speaking Latino at that like so it makes sense But how many days did you get sick of? Alabama local news Dude, it's gonna be like day three. The thing is they watched it incessantly. It was a big part of their program. You know, like every morning every TV was on ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox to like watch all of their morning news programs because these guys get off on the hot like weather girls. Like they all want to look at the weather girls. By the way, there was a hot ass weather girl. There was like some blonde and on one of the channels, he was just

wore tight dresses and read the news. And it was like, okay, it's a hot woman. I'm going to be out of here in 60. I don't, I don't, I don't really need to look at a hot woman that bad. And then like, I've been down for 25. That's the best thing I've seen in 20. All right. All right.

I guess so. That guy yelled at me for, for changing the news that morning. That was the guy. Well, I know that was a black guy. That was Parker. Parker Parker Parker was mean. A black guy named Parker. His last was his last name. Oh, okay. Yeah. But he went by Parker. So I'm so glad you're not in prison anymore.

Not as much as I am. Not as much as I am. Of course not. You know, it's no fun. It's no fun. You did well there. You had fun. Of course. Of course. Yeah, yeah, it was brilliant. That would be so funny. Ret Khan, his prison experience. So like, come on, it was just you and the boys. Being in a match. Not having a good time. You know, anything in retrospect, it, you know, gets lighter over time.

So it is kind of funny to think back on now and it's almost an enriching experience that, that I wouldn't want to trade away. Um, but, uh, but, you know, I want to go back. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone type through fun, right? Right. Yeah. It's, this is literally type two fun. Yeah.

It wasn't fun at the time, but in retrospect, I would say, I would recommend it to anyone. fun. Type two fun, right? Right? This is literally type two fun. Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't fun at the time, but in retrospect, it was pretty dope. I, uh, I like, I like the stories I tell in my head about it. How Kyle like charmed his way to success amongst the prisoner population, him telling snow, you you know his stories and snow being like that's fouled up man Dumbledore should have kept those kids safer he's not much of a guardian he was always giving away points at the end of the year but it didn't seem to be tied to anything concrete for the schools to

learn off of was that double-door Drew Carey? I don't know. I mean, that's true to some extent, but also it was just terror. It was just terror, boredom, monotony and like restlessness. And, and, you know, I was trying to sleep my way through it. So I was a little mentally ill probably from sleeping 16 hours a day or whatever I was able to do. Like if I could have slept 24 hours a day, I would have. Like if I could have pod person to myself,

I'd have totally signed up for that. So I was doing my best to genuinely sleep all day some days. That was one of my nicknames that Snow gave me. Sleepy. Come on, sleepy. Come on, sleepy, two and a half men's on. You wanna watch two and a half men? Let's see what Charlie's up to today.

Did you know that after this show he got AIDS He had AIDS during the show Don't know when he got the I think he was fucking a lot of strange pussy and if he got AIDS He was probably fucking some Some strange ass so to speak. Oh, I had a different theory. The driving D higher. Gay stuff, yeah. You can get AIDS from professionals.

That's my own, the heck is his name we're talking about? Charlie Sheen. Thank you, thank you, appreciate it. That's my Charlie Sheen theory. He got AIDS from banging prostitutes. You think Magic Johnson was also gay? I mean, he may have dabbled.

I don't know. No, I think that- I'm not the kind of person who judges based on things like that. Look, I'm with you normally. I think that by and large, if you get AIDS, it's probably from that. But when you're getting as much pussy

as Charlie Sheen and Magic Johnson, I think that you dip into another category that the normal man can't comprehend an amount of pussy that requires you just go, ah, it's like pussy to the power of seven. Like there's not even a word for it anymore. That's fair. They're another greatest outliers ever in that comparison. I don't know which drugs Charlie Sheen was doing, but it was a bunch.

I'm just saying he could have gotten, given that he got, was it AIDS or HIV? I'm not sure, but that implies needles could be part of the reason. Sure, Steve-O tells that story about how he was at a drug dealer's house, I believe, who had AIDS, and it was like known between them that he had AIDS, and the guy,

they were doing tons of cocaine, and I think the guy sneezed or had a nosebleed anyway he sprayed blood AIDS blood all over the the table of cocaine and steve-o snorted the AIDS cocaine that's a risk that's horrible steve-o snorted AIDS blood cocaine he's like super healthy now that's pretty funny he. He is. Yeah. Yeah, it's why he's I started all that AIDS cocaine Jesus I would love to know the timeline where it was like yeah first I was doing cocaine, but not the blood AIDS kind Preston and then I drank Preston Lacey's sweat from a fucking,

a saran wrap bag. And then I did gay. What if Steve-O is hardened like those people that micro dose venom until they're immune from snakes, right? He just been being insane his whole life until he has a billy goat belly and a snake intolerance. Or like Ozzy. I feel like Ozzy is the person I always hear brought up in what you're saying now, Woody, which is like he spent literally decades drinking crazy

amounts of alcohol that would like put a normal person on their ass doing crazy amounts of upp that would like put a normal person on their ass doing crazy amounts of uppers and downers that would put any normal person on their ass like but he's still alive he's not fully with it but he's alive right clearly there is a biological component to like he could clearly handle drugs and alcohol in a way that physiologically that the the average person could not, they would die. You'd think his liver would be worse than mine, but it might be better. Having spent a lifetime training.

It might literally be a better liver than yours because he's been, because like your, your liver has just been floating through life. No, just soft. His is like his liver is got that grind all looking for a fight. He's trying to which I saw that news, which is relevant to you guys. And I actually picked up on it. John Jones retires officially, totally done with UFC. And, I also saw on TV, Tom Aspinall is made the undisputed champion. Yeah, he was the interim champion. The only thing keeping him from being champ. Don't think of it as them handing the next bet guy in line,

the belt, because that ain't it. They've done that before, when Conor McGregor was finally stripped. They just gave Jose Aldo the belt back. But in this instance, Aspinol not only won an interim belt, but I think he defended his interim belt maybe. Against maybe Curtis Blades. Definitely true.

Which is unheard of to defend your interim belt. Usually interim belt is like, hey, the champ's like, he got knee surgery, he'll be back in three months, but man, we got this big fight and you're clearly the guy here We here you go. You'll you'll consolidate the title in three to six months But it's been two years or something like that seven or two days something crazy. So yeah, fuck John Jones

It's it what he did was awful. It was shitty He basically agreed to numbers with the with the UFC and then backed out He agreed several months back and then he backed out and Tom Tom has been drug along with this Inactive not fighting not able to fight So I saw and the way they did it was so unceremonious It was after the the card in Azerbaijan. I think they're like, they're like any news on the John Jones front? And then it's like, John called us last night, retired. John Jones retired.

Tom Aspinall is officially the heavyweight champion of the world. And it's like, bro, that was the I heard Ariel Hawani say this, like that was the culmination of of Tom Aspinall's professional life was achieving this moment. And it's not there's no ceremony. There's no pomp. It's just a sort of like backhanded mention on the other side of the planet.

He probably got a text message. Hey, you're the champ now. The fuck are you doing? It's, it don't like that either. Well, it does suck for him. That's not fair. No, but we've got a, we've got another white champion. I don't know if we've got any black champions left.

We have no black champions right now. The entire UFC has white champions. Yeah. That's my white champion dance. Do we have a lot of Eastern Europeans carrying the torch for us, I would assume? So many fucking Europeans. There's only one American champion that I can think of. It's Kayla Harrison. She became the champion two weeks ago.

Wait, that's Tom Aspinall. Well girl, that doesn't count, dude. That's not real. I mean, she's about as real as a female champion can get. She's a big bitch. Like I said, she's bigger than that 135 pound man. But yeah, a lot of Georgians and a lot of other countries. I can't think right now.

I ain't get enough sleep after that Gardner yelling match and everything. I saw this video. I want you to talk about, you want to talk about that more? Do you have anything to say about John Jones, Woody? Other than he's a piece of shit. He's in legal trouble again, by the way. I think he got another hit and run and abandoned a woman in a car or something. Yeah, and I want to say there's a police body cam footage

of him threatening them. He says that his brother slit throats and that it won't be the first time or something like that. I think it might be conflating a couple of Jones. Why does John Jones need to invoke his big brother? When he said brother, he's a little nosey. This guy seems like such a problem. John Jones is like the third best athlete in his family. He has two brothers who were NFL stars of some sort. And so I don't know

if those are the brothers he's talking about. I interpreted it to mean my boys, some sort of brotherhood and not his actual blood brothers, but I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, fuck that guy, man. Fuck that guy for just being a scumbag, for being a dirty fighter, for being a cheater. And most of all, the one thing I can't forgive is not showing up to do your job.

Like that's the thing. You can do all that other shit, but you show up and you keep like not losing fights and just beating whoever there is to fight. I gotta give it to him. That's what you said. Gotta give it to him. I don't have to give anymore.

Cause he- These ages I'm about to spout are close if they're not perfect. DC was about 36 when he fought John Jones, who was maybe like 28, something like that at the peak of his career. And DC fought him twice, even though Jones was clearly on steroids.

One of them, people forget, is a no contest, because even though DC lost that night, he got busted for steroids. And there was another fight, people forget, that didn't happen, because they canceled it because of John Jones' steroid use. And then the third one he lost, when they didn't catch him for steroids,

but everybody knows he just got past the drug test. And John Jones did steroids his whole career. My point was, DC was about the age that Jones and Aspenol are now, and DC took the fight. DC wanted the fight. That night they canceled the fight because John Jones failed his drug test. DC said, can I fight him anyway?

Bro, DC was not a coward. John Jones is a coward. Tom Aspinall retired that coward without ever throwing a punch. And that's how this should be remembered. And he called it too. He said, I will retire John Jones without ever fighting him. And that's how this should be remembered and he called it too He said I will retire John Jones without ever fighting him and that's how it went down Yeah, now John Jones wants to be an actor

bro acting is a skill you can't just Like no, you're a liar That I've been watching him act for years. He's terrible at it. He plays the fucking preacher son Who's who's on a redemption arc? That's the character he's been portraying for years. And he sucks at it. I don't believe a minute of it because I see evil behind his eyes and hatred and shittiness and scumbaggery and lies.

I could see through you, you piece of shit. He doesn't, no one is fooled other than idiots by John Jones fucking good guy act. You can tell that right underneath it is a piece of shit. And I never I'm fine with that in my fighters. Like it adds flavor. We can't all be the good guy lately. Like I don't need everybody to be an upright citizen. Or even you know, I'm fine with criminals like whatever.

I don't care. It's fighting. But you don't show up for the fight. Then then then I'm gonna start treating you like what you are That's just a piece of shit who doesn't fight anymore. I'm with that. They're definitely fighters I kind of enjoy rooting against who maybe are bad guys or even for sometimes I've got the Diaz brothers in my head Yeah, like I don't want them in my lives, but I love them on my TV, you know, I'm here to watch them They're entertaining Connor. I mean Connor Connor's also a scumbag not to the level of John, I don't know he had that those women yeah. Let's just leave it at that. Connor McGregor's also a scumbag but I want him I want to see him fight I'd love to see him on my TV. I saw him beat up a

guy at the bar the other day. I liked that fight. I put it in his win call. He needed it. Did you see that? I like that fight. I put it in his win call. He needed it. You see that? Yeah, it was a nightclub. I is the one I saw. Yeah. Connor's on like a maybe a, it's hard to tell the layout, you know, his telephone footage, but he's elevated like one step above the man. And he's sort of leaning down and you can't tell what's being said, but Connor like hits him with a left hook and the guy almost goes down. And then he's immediately followed with another left hook and the guy goes flat. It's like, all right, KO victory.

Let's go. I think there's not literally a fighter in the UFC who fights at one 55 or 70 that can't beat Conor McGregor. I think Conor McGregor loses to every single active UFC fighter. However, Conor McGregor is going to win pretty much every bar fight. He's still a professional fighter. Totally. I mean, I saw him hitting the bag this week. He looks incredible. He looks incredible.

Oh, I thought he was slow. I thought he was incredibly slow. Yeah, I feel like he had the big gloves and he was just sort of like throwing hooks to the heavy bag. I don't know. I didn't think he wasn't really doing glove work. I don't know. I guess I didn't evaluate it for speed I thought I was looking at more physically as well like his because you know, sometimes he looks bad I've seen his body change over the last two or three years

Sometimes he looks terrible and sometimes he looks great and I thought his body looked pretty great pretty good He looks really strong. I think you take a wonderful picture But I don't think that's the body type that suits his skill set right his skills That is accuracy and timing and counter punching and suddenly he's a freaking heavy hitter Bro, they're gonna see your hits coming from a mile away with what you're bringing to the table now Yeah, he needs to fight like a fencer not like a fucking oh, yeah, that's well said yeah, he's that Like a like a viper like that that maintaining distance and darting in and

and then back out again. Uh, that's when he was great. When he had that karate stance back in the day, that's prime Connor to me is karate stance Connor. Uh, but, but you're right. Him as a muscle head doesn't make any sense for his skillset or is, you know, they talk about fast Twitch muscle fiber. Like that's him. He doesn't have that Nate Diaz's muscle fiber is different than Conor McGregor's he is a triathlete Conor McGregor can't do a triathlon no he gases in the second round most of the time yeah but his

first round I mean I wouldn't make it out of the first round with him no of course not I don't fuck I don't go I'm only going to the first round with him? No, of course not. I don't fuck, I don't wanna go. I'm only going to the first round with a gardener. I'm not messing with any special. I used to daydream during Joe Lozano fights, like what if I could help him? Now I don't think you'd be any help at all, Woody. You would, you would. There could be a hindrance in there.

You would, and that's one of the, I'm a, I think I know something that most people don't, and that is that a twoV1 is a gigantic difference than a 1V1. Brian Shaw disagrees. All right, well, that wasn't a 2V1. That was a 2V2.5. Brian Shaw is literally two and a half men stuck together.

Someone said that about him the other day. He weighs like, oh God, he's 350 or something, isn't he? He's like a giant. Like, like. We need Taylor back. He would know. He's crazy big dude. He picked that man up and smashed him like the Hulk.

That was awesome. Again, with the Lowe's on talk, but he said that he would lose to Shaq. Even like a fully, I think Shaq's had some level of training, but let's pretend it was zero. And Joe's like, yeah, no, there isn't any level of like professional skill that can overcome that size differential.

And Shaq is so big. You don't appreciate it unless you see him. And he's super, super big anyway. Yeah, so- I saw a fight the other day where one of the fighters missed weight significantly. And the way balanced the scales were was like, okay, okay, I miss way. How about I fight you and your 60 year old dad? And so like, it's one of those situations where his dad is his coach, but he's a 60 year old man. And so he gets in the ring and the dad and the son

beat the shit out of the other guy. Like the dad doesn't adding a lot, but once it goes to the ground, I think that the guy who missed weight, like pulls guard or something, or maybe like a tips of guillotine on the son. And the father's like, let me pop his head right out of there.

Yep, pop. All right, now fuck you up, motherfucker. Get off my boy, get off my boy. Get him son. And they like team beat the shit out of this guy and tap him from blows. It was great. Did you see the Chael Sonnen thing

when his fighter missed weight? No. So currently I think filming's happening now and Chael Sonnen and DC are the coaches on the Ultimate Fighter. And Chael Sonnen's fighter missed weight, maybe by six pounds, something like that. And so it was five pounds.

And the other guy's not gonna fight, he's gonna take the win. So Chael calls up the other guy and says, hey, hey, hear me out. Let's do a weigh-in and I will pay you a thousand dollars a pound based on how much my fighter wins. And the fighter who made weight goes, no, I'm just telling a story, Taylor. No, a thousand dollars a pound, not enough. Needs to be 2,500. And Chael says, all right, so by my math, that's $12,500. And he's like, yeah, it'll be in a white envelope.

I'll see you at weigh-ins. And boom, Chael Sonning takes the camera, right? Like now it's like another interview, they cut, jump cut. And he's like, everyone says we're a team. Everyone says we're a team and that we're in this together until it comes time to write a check. Well, we're a team. Everyone says we're a team and that we're in this together until it comes time to write a check. Well, we are a team. I got $12,500 says that my fighter can win.

And that's what he did. So Chael paid the guy $12,500 to fight his dude. And Chael's guy got his ass kicked. His face is dripping, he's bleeding. In the ultimate fight of the way it works is they fight two rounds and if it's 2-0 To simplify the scoring they don't do the third round and that's what happened Yeah, that makes sense. I hate I hate when people miss weight by that much. I kind of like that They if that guy gets a contract it'll probably be about that

They if that guy gets a contract it'll probably be about that It'll probably be about 12,000 to fucking show I sent a link over here. I watched this video earlier today This is about Indonesia's toxic tofu Industry so in Indonesia there there's a they called it a. I looked at it as the population of Atlanta It is like three or four million people in the metro area And then like seven million in the surrounding suburbs of this Indonesian city It's an enormous city that is has this gigantic industry of tofu frying and

They cook it with melted plastic. That is the main fuel they use is melted plastic and coconut husks. And they are shoveling bare like big piles of, you can watch the videos over there, big piles of these bales of shredded plastic, like right, they use it to, in both processes. So at one point in the cooking process,

they turn the bean curd, the soybean curd, which is like soybean, bean goo, into the tofu itself by steaming it. And that steam is ran by a boiler that runs on coconut husks and plastic. And then once they've got it like made into these chunks of tofu they deep fry it they go over to the deep frying thing and it's big pans over a fire full of oil but underneath is

like and this is all outdoors underneath they're just pushing plastic into it coming up around the food, the toxic awful. The dioxins, it's dioxins. It's, it's, they said just from the chicken, the chickens that lay eggs in that area, each egg is 70 times the what Europe recommends daily for dioxin exposure. Dioxins is what the Agent Orange in Vietnam, they caused all of those what poisoned the soil and they show in this video like all the Defects that we created in Vietnam. It's just disturbing. So you know could eat it. He's my man He'd swallow that stuff for breakfast literally. Yeah He'd be like, I'll eat all this dioxin

I'm gonna Inject Agent Orange. But that video is awesome. If you want to see it, it's called Indonesia's Toxic Tofu Time Bomb, poisoning millions daily. Well, I don't like that. I always thought of tofu as like a safer food. Something that the kind of people who are into tofu, I'm not into it, but it seems like someone who's into

Conservation in the west that's true again. They're Scientifically illiterate over here But when you smoke stuff and cook your food in the burn off that is like what cedar chips or whatever They wanted to taste like oak Are we sure that's so healthy? so it depends on the temperature so so um, we know now that like, uh, if the char from charcoal, if it's too hot, that, uh, that smokiness, that can be cancer causing, but what they're doing is a different story.

It's another level. All right. Yeah. I mean, you got to imagine the biggest pile of plastic trash you've ever seen. And then they're just like more, more. They're just like shoveling shredded up. Like it's like Walmart bags and milk cartons and like all the nastiest plastics. Styrofoam. Yeah. Yeah. Styrofoam burns particularly ugly. I sometimes burn boxes when they get too big in the styrofoam in them.

And I'm like, oh, this is going off into nature's dumpster. The sky, I got no problem with nature because I see what the Asians do. Yeah. My Walmart box is just as they hate the sea. Vendetta against nature. You guys ready to wrap? I was going to tell a story about this guy. I'll be quick. I watched this story. It was on Lad Bible, that YouTube channel, and this guy was a fisherman in the Antarctic

waters. He was actually the person who watches the fishermen to make sure they're not hurting the environment. They're not killing certain sure they're not hurting the environment. They're not killing certain kinds of birds or catching the wrong kind of fish. He had this really friendly relationship, like 38 man crew on a big fishing vessel that has like a, it has a factory in it, you know,

down below. Long story short, it starts sinking in Antarctic waters below zero waters with blowing snow and waves so tall they cast shadows on the boat. It goes down. They are 150 miles from land. They're 750 miles from the nearest air base that could actually help them. There are about a dozen vessels in the entire ocean that they're in all spread out and they're all fishing vessels. And they all go down, they have to get in these rafts. They've got three 12 man life rafts for like 38 people. And the raft is tied to the boat

as it's like going up and down. The boat comes down and smashes the raft and they get sucked under the giant boat, but then it spits them back out and they're free. And so, but now their raft is like waist deep of Arctic water that they're treading and like trying to hold the like the plastic, it's like a tent on the top of those rafts. They're trying to hold all that in. Three hours later, he's like, I

saw a light, but I didn't want to say I saw a light because I wasn't sure I saw a light. I didn't want to get anybody's hopes up. Then I looked again, and we were right next to a fishing vessel. And I looked and there was a man there and he reached down and he pulled me out overboard and he kissed me on the cheek. They had come running from 30 miles away when they heard our mayday. They anticipated the waves, the tides, and where our position was and the captain put put himself within three hours. He was he traveled 28 miles and put himself three feet from me and pulled me out of that water and he tells this great story he's like and I told him I'll name my

daughter after your boat and that and I sent him a picture three years later of my daughter Camilla he's like 38 of us one in the water 13 came out alive or something like that dude that's a man this is my daughter Johnson story. I was, I was, this is my daughter, Hitler isn't all bad. What you promise. PKN 566.