Painkiller Already - PKN 583

Episode Date: October 21, 2025

P.KN, 583. How's going on? I'm going, all right. Eagles finally played after two weeks off. That's encouraging. That's weird. They usually don't do that in the middle of the football season. It seems unique to my team, I guess.

Yeah. I mean, but this will just make the movie better, right? When they battle back from a little adversity. NFC East memes is finally a nice place to be again. Were they being bullied? Or I guess they're probably hated the same way like Chicago was bullied from 2010 to 2015 on hockey forums Because you guys have been good for the same way

Like I'll go on football forums on occasion And it'll be like Eagles and Chiefs fans getting razzed Because like someone, an Eagles fan will complain about a week Or a Chiefs fan will be like, we lost this game And someone with Brown's flair will be like, I want to kill you in your house That's about right. The three first weeks in particular

Like the Eagles were undefeated And they were three plays away from being O in three. The fourth one we won by eight points, which you could argue in the NFL is a decent win. And then we lost two. And it felt like everything was falling apart. Everyone, you know, we weren't the only team in the division to lose games. But we seemed to be the target of everybody on NFC East means. They all wanted the Eagles to lose more than anything.

But this week, not only did we win, but we extended our division lead. So fuck those other teams. Nice. Baseball's going probably. I don't know. Are they? Yeah, Blue Jays just made it to the... Blue Jays.

That's not even an American team. It's not. It's in baseball? How shameful. I think it's been 30 years since they've been this far. Something like that. They used to have two. They used to have the Montreal Expos, right?

I think that went away a long time ago. Yeah, I had an Expos. I played on a team that was called the Expos. I played on the Expos. I played on the Royals. Played on the Lions. Not very great. your career was such a big deal.

Oh, it's storied. Storyed. All right. I put up career numbers for the Royals. Oh, they retired my little jersey. Kyle played for like the Blue Jays, the Expos. I lost the list. I played for the Buffalo Wings, only here for the beer.

Sounds like your teams were more fun. I'd rather hang out with your teams. I remember the moment when the country was like, what do you guys want to be called? And I was like, the Wolverines. and everybody looked at me like I think we're going to go with Royals I think was Kansas City like good at the time or this guy just got a Casey head on

Oh absolutely not and even if Kansas City were the greatest team of all time In small town Georgia In Little League no one fucking cares They just pick the Royals because it sounded neat And they were all fucking 11 Have you seen those like It happens in rural areas I've noticed most where you'll

like be driving and you'll go past like a rural more rural high school and you'll see their logo and like team name and it's like that's that's just the LSU tiger that there's they didn't even change it that's just the you know the Shelbyville Tigers and it's just they their colors are also purple and yellow you know you get those jerseys off the shelf that's I'm like this is a good idea yeah what colors do you want blue and purple that we're going to have to have that knitted on the other head. I'm a bitch. It says Louisiana on it.

Yeah. But I always get a kick out of that seeing it. Or like little league teams where your team exactly like your situation, Kyle. Like if I like played on like a little baseball team that was named the Giants, like I felt kind of cool. I had no familiarity with the San Francisco Giants. But I was like, man, they play in the same league as the Cardinals. I'm like, I'm like a rock throw away from me. from the big leagues

oh man I would never if I was like if you were allowed to push back on your dad on what sports you didn't want to play

I would have pushed back on baseball after that first year my God horrible horrible the worst sport you just

you wouldn't have pushed back no I loved it you liked sitting there and like watching other people bat and have fun and then we're all we first of all sit we didn't sit there we stood with our hands on the chain link or out by the the uh the circle like cheering and like yeah you got this you got this like it's it's a team effort with full of camaraderie the whole way through and cheering and keeping people's like mental uh stuff stable there's a lot of like you got this buddy you got oh don't worry about that one oh you got there was no like sitting there and just like picking it like our shoes and stuff it was a raw raw kind of thing yeah you were playing as, like, I was going to say adult, but as a more adult child, like, I was definitely butterfly chasing kid.

Early on I was, I can, there are VHS tapes of me in the outfield, and my mom, and you can hear my mom going, stop chasing the butterfly. Leave the butterfly alone. Friend your knees. I was like, friend your niece. My dad would yell at me. Strand the game, Taylor. I'm running around.

I'm like, I'm like digging up ant hills. Like, what's at the bottom? No, I was focused, really, trying to win those things. It's a party if you don't win. I wasn't really on a serious team until my high school swim team. And I was so excited about being on a team. Well, one, swimmers don't have their names on anything. You just wear a swimsuit.

And it's like, you know, oh, your teammates with Jeff Wilcox, you guys like good friends. And it's like, well, I spend most of my time with my face in the water. I don't really know him that well. This is hardly a team at all. That's weird that they didn't at least give you like a windbreaker or something. So and so high school swimming. At the end of the season, all the varsity athletes would get like, you know, jerseys, you know, jackets and shit like that.

But for during the season, though, in college we did. In college we got like a, I don't know, a bag full of parkas and gear to wear. This guy on my high school hockey team, we all got those like windbreakers. and he was the guy who was horrible who had to like have a coach or assistant coach like retie his skates I'm 18 we're both 18 he's a few months older than me he was horrible and he would not wear anything other than his like charity case varsity hockey like blazer not blazer the windbreaker and he single-handedly made it gay like no one else on the team wore it after he just wore it all the time a game became too associated with him when we were talking about

like young time sports you guys didn't play hockey when you were young but a crazy evolution is when you're 12 Kyle they add hitting into the game and there is no better seat than the goalie because that's like when they teach you like three strides you can take three strides towards your opponent you can't just skate and barrel into them that's charging like and like the rules of when to pull up not to target the head not to do this and that never checked from behind. All the jerseys have a big stop sign at the nape of your neck that say stop in an octagon with red.

And like I would watch like as a 12 year old and I'd be like, oh my God, this kid's about to get hurt. This kid, oh my God. That was like 15 strides. Like just skating, head down, just rushing. How does one reset the stride counter? I don't know how that works. If you have eight strong strides, can you coast for three feet and then give three more

Yes, absolutely. You can't eat. Depends on the rest, but yeah. As a complete layman, I'm thinking like, it's more about the speed that's acquired after three strides than the number of strides. Like, you know what I mean? It should be, but he said three strides. He didn't tell me how fast my strides were going to be.

That's because you don't have a speedometer on you, but then they're trying to, you know, do some sports medicine, make, keep you from going 20 miles an hour and brain in some kid. That was like the simplified method. Three straight. Did anybody get hurt at 12 years? years old how hard the 12 year olds hit like a problem you get yeah yeah you hit hard on the ice because those kids are whip in their bodies and the kids are so excited to hit that uh they just they don't pull up and they also haven't learned yet not to target the head and something that you wouldn't

if you're not a hockey guy you wouldn't this wouldn't jump out at you as a danger but leaving your feet is a huge no no like you can't leap into a hit and it's instinctive like in football if the kid had played football like you kind of do leap into it a bit and so you'd see kids like getting their skates like six inches off the ice like torpedoing like head down like into other kids was one i had this i told this many many years ago but i had a kid on my team and we were probably about 15 and he was the head coach's son and it was one of those situations where this kid was decent enough to he would he would have been like bottom he wouldn't have made the team if it weren't for his dad but he wasn't like blown out in all ways like he was

he was good enough to be like the bottom tier on our team. And he went out once and got clobbered by some kid. Dirty hit, like hit to the head. The other kid got a penalty. And the guy on my team like got up and was like woozy and like not skating correctly. And people helped him back to the bench. And then his dad was like yelling at him.

Like you got to keep your head up. Cause he's got to skating around all the time. You can't afford to be taking hits like that. And then like just made his son go out again on the next shift. And like. hockey parents like you don't hear groans like oh like like from the stands but like I do because I'm closer than everybody else because I'm the goalie and other parents like approach this dad after the game like you do you pull some stuff like that again we're we don't

trust our kids with you because the kid like got out there and then was like standing there like Mr. Bean like confused like what were we doing again like where what period is it what's the score like couldn't remember they had to take him like to the hospital after that we won so it was fine but you measure an injury yeah big shout out to Richie sorry that happened to you I uh if you haven't seen it

and I know you haven't there's a ton of videos of the Terminator 2 no the Broncos come back this weekend um they scored 33 points in the fourth quarter to come back and win and they needed them they needed them all

the Giants yeah you're that that uh that that that player that you wanted to talk about that tababoo or whatever his name it's scataboo it's scataboo um that they got it i watched an hour long video it's just the fourth quarter it's just the fourth quarter of the game is an out it's 56 minute long video and what they own they threw one pick six so that was that was some of the points but the rest of it they fucking scored they just kept getting the ball back and kept marching down the field in these 30 yard chunks it was a amazing to watch. I felt bad for the Giants by the end. Their coach throwing his shit on the

ground, screaming and cursing, their quarterback's taking a knee, and he licks, usually with pro athletes, at the very least, they're good at taking losses. They've taken so many through their career. He's like mouth agape. He can't believe they just lost this. Because they came back, they were scoring too. Like, there was a little bit of back and forth in the fourth quarter. They were scoring points too it didn't matter 33 32 it was insane yeah it was beautiful yeah fuck the giants they suck they actually do suck but they beat the eagles the week before and everyone was like holy smokes you know with their qb and they're running back we may have a team here and uh i mean i on nfc east memes a subreddit i spend too much time on

they're salivating at the chance to show the giants the real hierarchy I, on the other hand, I'm like, so you guys sure it was a fluke, right? It's not like his styles make fights thing. They're not good at what we're bad at or something. I hope that they come to Philly and we show them what's for. We, because I'm part of the Eagles. I'm a part of teams until they start struggling.

Like if Missouri would have lost this last week against Auburn, it would have been they. Not me. I was there for the two weeks they didn't play. It's still us. It's still us in Athens, Georgia. I'll tell you that. We came in there.

We're ranked fifth again. Just right back up there in the hunt for things. Beautiful win this weekend. I'm always so nervous. My Saturdays are always kind of shitty. You're too negative about UGA sometimes. You have this incredible team and I'll text you and be like, it should be a great game for UGA and you'll be like,

they're weak this year. I'm like, they're not. They're really good. They are weeks of a man who's not used to bad teams. they're fifth tailor they're only fifth for five I just want to get to 12

I just got to get to 12 judge to sentence Kyle to three years of rooting for the NC state wolf pack yeah yeah there's some

they're like wearing a Rutgers hat furious at you that's perfect workers are probably on the level of NC state I think I've seen them ranked or receiving votes

every once in every couple of years yeah and then they're like could this be the oh no fuck oh no we got fraud checked oh fuck old miss came to play they're top 25 in basketball records is always a good team but uh but you know they're not gonna be

they're not playing any football at a high level or anything um no i you know I demand perfection for my sports teams you gotta you gotta be in it to win it you know you can't be losing game you're a fan of like the 74 dolphins and that's it. And occasionally UGA will stretch one of those streaks together where they haven't lost a game in like a season and a half or something, so that's always fun. I was watching

a replay of the Patriots versus the Dolphins from like 0405. And the Patriots had won like 22 games in a row, I think, or something. And 24, 26 is like the league record. And they lost to the dolphins who had only won one game the year before because the dolphins were introducing the Wildcat for the first time. It was a good video. But I like those records when they've stretched their wind streak beyond one season. They're into the second year of their winless tenure. I mean, up until recently, the Eagles had a fun thing where they hadn't lost in 2025. And it's like that, I mean, it's October. That's pretty good. We close this out. But we did not close it out. That's okay. You don't want them going in like, it's like President's Trophy

curse like you don't want them too cocky going into the postseason thinking they're the bees knees like you want them grinded right there was a time when it was like you know what when we lost to the broncos a non-division like non-rival like just a little wake-up call let you know you can't skate by on these you know one three-point wins and then we lost the giants and that wasn't planned at all it was nothing good about that i love cam scadabow i watched some of his highlights that guy scored the running back i guess for the giant he had already scored he was three steps into the end zone and he like with his head perfectly down like what they show not to do jumping into a shallow pool he jumped into a former defender

like he opted into a hit after having scored like that guy he is going to be oh will not be in the league in two years he will be being fed like I mean Taylor mildly mispronounced his name, but I have a feeling Scataboo will be the same. He's joining you in not knowing his name. Very soon, neither of us will know his name. Because just that guy needs someone in his corner, a parent, an aunt, an uncle,

a coach being like, let's calm it down a little, like the elective spears. Here's an idea. How about you only get hit during plays? Yeah. Other people do this. Yeah.

He's like, his like celebration dance is just like, like doing a bull run into the into the uprights that guy's great good for him yes he's got the face of a guy

who can take a like he's got a he's got a just a like one of those miners that we're having to try and get under Chernobyl he's not one of those heads I don't know

he's got a Slavic look translates to football but a lot of times in fighting like how much damage your brain takes, you could look at the neck thickness, a guy with a big thick neck and honking traps, sometimes takes hits a little better. His head doesn't get knocked around in the same way a pencil necks would. That makes sense. It might translate to football.

I don't know it as well. No, I'm sure. He doesn't even wear the big helmet. You've seen the big helmets this year, right? Not just this year. It's got like foam on the outside. It's huge. It looks absurd.

I was watching the Packers game and a lot of them wear it. I haven't seen it as much from other teams, but the pack. Packers in particular. Maybe it's just more noticeable because they all look like that, what's the Star Wars parody? Spaceballs. They all look like the Space Balls character with like, it looks silly. Is he Darth Helmet? I think it might be Darth Helmet. Dark helmet. Dark helmet. Is it dark? Okay. I've never seen that movie. On one hand, I recognize that it's silly. On the other hand, like, if it helps them play better, go silly. Like, I would like basketball players to shoot underhand, foul shots. I'm told they're more accurate, but they're just not cool. So literally nobody

does it. When I played hockey, at first I played with no mask and then I played in a league that required one. Okay, cool. And then I took the mask off again because I'm cool like that. And I realized I was playing scared. I had two things on my mind. And I'm not a pro player or anything. So sometimes when I'm like fighting in the corners, I might get knocked down, but I'm on my knees still fighting in the corners with no cage on, which is what they call a face mask, I'm like, less inclined

to be on my knees fighting for the puck because I'm going to take a stick to the face. If this makes me play better, then I'm wearing it. I'm on your knees taking sticks to the face. I was just having a good time. He goes hard. I go hard in the corners

is taking stick. And Prashad is taking his cock out. My God. That God, Woody's got the mask on. Maintained an erection during athletic performance is an incredible feat, John. Incredible. I always wondered, like, if someone in the NHL was really good at hockey, but he was a huge pussy. And he was like, I want to wear a cage. Would they be like, I guess you're a lot? Like, I'm pretty sure there must be. a rule against it. I think so unless you're injured.

I think so. When I see it's wear cages and baseball, they had the full fucking thing. I just, just pussy mode. Just, I thought so little of that. Like, that was so embarrassing. Because first of all, they're not throwing the ball fast enough for that to matter. And like the lower levels, I thought. And so it was almost a sign that like your kid doesn't have the reaction times to get

out of the way of a 60 mile per hour baseball. And it's like, he probably shouldn't be playing. probably shouldn't be playing if you need that in Little League. But I was just to meet a kid. I also still feel the same way. If I were, I go to Little Leagues now and yell at kids. That's what I should do. Maybe she should coach Little League. That'd be a fun year.

Start by being just an observer. And you're like, you're like, you're sitting up there. You're yelling. You have binoculars. The action's 11 yards away. You have binoculars. And you've got like 14. Coors, empty, Coors, bankies are trashed. I was a kid we didn't play this way.

I just looked it up. There's no rule against a full face mask in the NHL. Now, it's universally not done unless they're injured. And you do have to have your team approve it, which they usually do, like, if you have a broken jaw or something. But, uh, or nose, I don't know. But there's no rule against it. I thought there was. well i googled it i don't know if i'm right no no yeah but uh um yeah anyway that surprised

me i thought for sure you you couldn't do it and that's why nobody did i i'm projecting but it's like you could play better with a cage you'll like it i'm like still impressed sometimes where i see someone like just get caught in the face with a stick and like their lip gets split open like all the way like flay like a butterfly like pork chop and they're like skating off the ice like looking annoyed more than in pain and I'm like man I would be I'd be throwing a fit I'd be I would be in a bad mood I'm like I'm never going to look at the same he just put it together right it's like slightly because it's not a guy there's no guy in plastics back there it's something I was thinking I would totally get a plastic surgeon to put

it by the way if you're watching this and you get a horrible facial injury, just request a plastic surgeon. You'll be glad you did that. If the ER doc is learning stitches on your nose, it's going to be fucking sub-bar. Yeah, that is a tip I've heard from you, and I've logged away for hopefully never.

This was probably like eight, nine years ago now, and I'm trying to remember the player, but there was this young guy on the, I want to say Columbus Blue Jackets, who a bunch of female fans thought was, a real cutie and he became popular with them. I wish I could remember his name but they were like oh this guy's so

so hot you know look at him because there's like a like you'll come across these on Twitter like you'll go to like sports like sections and most of it scores and highlights but then you'll just see like horny posting girls like posting thirst traps of their favorite player and this one guy

took like I think it was a puck like almost to like the Joker smile area and it like just tore a huge amount of his face up and it was like it showed him afterward with those like haven't been to the plastics guy yet just the stitch him real quick to get him

back out for the third and he looked ghastly and there were all these girls on social media being like anyone but him why do you have to be him? That would make it hurt worse. Like oh I'm not attractive anymore. I was hoping they went the other way like dude this is a different kind of hot now

but nope they're like that At the time, it was not a hot scar. I don't know what it looks like now. Maybe he's a young, healthy guy. Maybe it healed better, but he seemed to have a why-so-serious attitude about it. Okay, I'll be here for it. I see fighters make some bad ones, but they usually aren't disfigured. They usually actually do a good job.

There was that lady fighter who got that. I sent it to all of you. I'm sure you all saw it. Maybe you remember. She had that crazy, crazy forehead cut, like a year ago. And I saw the, like, the, like, the. you know after it healed up and it looked fine like they did a good job of put it back together again and then uh robbie lawler of course had that crazy lip split that time and that healed up

pretty well too and then so did um who's big heavyweight guy that's brown um got a square fucking head he also had the lip torn apart wait a big black guy with the blocky head and the professional fighting league now he's brown not black was more than the rory mcdonald got his lip coat open too at one point, didn't he? Or something. I remember his nose getting exploded. Maybe that's something. Yeah, it's a rough sport. Dude, do you ever feel a little guilty for watching the gladiators kill each other? No, because they're getting paid pretty well. And they're all in it to win. They all like it.

Like, I've heard GSP talk about being afraid, you know, before every fight. He's like, I was afraid to every fight. I wish I could do his accent. But I don't know if they all are. I think some of them are just like, I get to go beat somebody up. And at the end, they're paying me at least $50,000 tonight. This is the best job ever. The cops are going to cheer me on. Jill's son used to not enjoy it, too. Like, they'd be like, are you ready? And he's like, the truth is, I was never ready.

I was just next. So I went. And, you know, like, and he had some big fights that he won. And he's like, oh, when they finally, you know, told me to get off the other guy and I had won. and that I had won, wasn't happy. I was relieved. Like the, you know, it was just, it turned out fine. Like, there's no joy.

There's no Disney World trip. It's just, who, glad that's behind me. You know, it worked out. I'm okay. I dodged the bullet. And it's like, that's, that's not the same sort of joy you get winning. A big part of that job has to be pretending not to be scared, like, in framing. because it's like you're not going into a fight at a bar like you're going into a fight against

another guy who's really really good at this like that's that's scary that's really really scary and not only that they would like be if they had to fight like five guys at a bar all at once they'd probably be like I'm going to look like superhero but this isn't that you know yeah they definitely and not only are they fighting another professional fighter they're fighting someone who for at least six weeks has been just training to like beat them like this is a guy who has three hours worth of video of you doing your thing whatever your thing is whatever your skill that we're going to compete in coming up it's fighting obviously but even if it were like dancing or or like thumb wrestling or whatever he's got three hours of footage of you doing it and he's going to be watching that and training and he's going to bring in people who are shaped like you move like you and he's going to tell them to fight like you and he's going to try to counter it for at least the next six weeks but he might have been doing it for a year or two years If he's been the up-and-comber dreaming of beating the champion, he's been watching you since he was a kid, maybe.

Maybe you're 35, and he was 15 when he started watching, and now he's in his prime. You know, like, there's plenty of those guys like that. It's a scary proposition to fight in the UFC. So scary. Above the, like, lowest, lowest level, it's terrifying. It's exactly what I said. At the lowest level, like in the contender series or on a fight night card,

especially on the bottom of a fight night card it's kind of just joe versus pete and and they don't they i often don't know too much about each other you know i i mean i've personally had the experience where i knew that after school my opponent was going to be waiting for me at the bike racks and i had to face this and all day long just like butterflies and adrenaline and discomfort and concern follows me. Imagine that being your lifestyle for 12 weeks, like three months of Kyle's over there training right now. I got to get up at 5 a.m. because I'm pretty sure Kyle is. You know that Mike Tyson quote about why you like to run at four in the morning or whatever? How do they go exactly? It's something like, I know when I'm out running at four in the

morning, my opponent, he's asleep. He's in a warm bed somewhere and I'm out running. And I'm getting strong. And I've thought about that. I'm like, yeah, that is scary. If I were in that, if I woke up at four in the morning and I was like, I bet Mike's out running right now. I was just getting up to pee. He's already grinding. He's out there grind.

Like I looked at my window. The sun isn't up, but I see Mike out there for shadow boxing in the streetlights. I mean, but on the other hand, like, sleep deprivation. Knock yourself out, Jack, yes. I hope you're coming. exhausted and is it even sleep deprivation or is it the old jaco willing where it's like i wake up at 3 a.m. every day and it's like okay let's let's keep going keep doing the schedule i want to get to the 7.05 bedtime because this is fucking horseshit dude like i want to hear about your early bird dinner

special you go to bed afterwards your 250 so when he was training Mike Tyson would sleep twice a day. He would go to bed at 10 p.m., wake up at 4 a.m. to exercise, and then return to sleep at 10 a.m. and then sleep till three, oh, it doesn't say how long he would sleep then, but it talks a lot about that he had serious nerves before fights, and he barely slept, like, in the days leading up to them. That's what I'm going to think from now on. if I'm like at a restaurant watching a hockey game with my friends drinking and eating I'm going to be like I'm out and about and Mike Tyson is sleeping in a nice warm bed like a bum you ever see the video of him beating that guy up on the flight I think you

sent it to me yeah it wasn't a brutal beat down he was bleeding what was he thinking he was drunk yeah I guess Mike Tyson was drunk no well there was a it's dangerous insignificant white guy i'm going to call him 25 years old just just by looking at him and uh he was he like got up and went to tyson or maybe he sat in front of him and he like was over the seat and just like he's behind him talking shit he was behind him he wasn't talking shit he's just being annoying he was a mike mike oh god mike he was just like leaning over and touching on and bothering him i think he may have asked him for an autograph even just kept going. Mike

came over the seat and roughed him up pretty good. Here's the clip. It's been a while. I need to see it. It's a minute. Okay. First, first

little screenshot, the still of this guy's face. He does look annoying. I would be annoyed, too. I just wouldn't have the tools in my arsenal to dispatch him the way Mike so gentlemanly does. Yeah, I don't know why you...

What? He's... See, he's just pumped that Mike Tyson is there. And oh, and then... And then Mike comes over, just throwing these little quick, right-handed... Oh, he's busting him up. So the guy's, like, trying to look,

he just points the side. of his head all bloody. The cameraman captured four punches. I kind of inferred that there might be up to six. And the best part is like, this happened seemingly mid-flight. So now we have to continue on our way to San Diego bleeding. You just have to hope that that's not something that they land the plane for. And because it's Mike Tyson, I think that he can get away with that sort of thing a lot easier.

I just imagine the flight attendant come back. Like, what's going on? And they're like, they don't say that man attack that man. They say, Mike Tyson beat this guy up. The guy was giving him a hard time. Like, oh, he didn't bite him or anything. Did he? No, no, no.

You guys still live? All right, then. Hey, Mike. Yeah, like, oh, well, I mean, well, I like Mike Tyson. I don't know anything about this other guy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I don't know.

He got in some sort of crazy hullabaloo in a hotel and, like, beat up a man and his wife, I believe, a while back. It was like six people. people. The man and the wife included. Yeah, I think he beat up six people that day, although not simultaneously. They foolishly lined up. It was like a collateral and call of duty. It was one punch. He just kept going. I think he, I don't remember what trouble he got in out of it. I think maybe there was a settlement out of court or something. I don't think that sounds right to me. Yeah. Yeah. And he's always kind of mom about it. I've seen people on

Reddit give him a hard time. He's like, you know, he beat up a woman, right? I feel like the optics of hitting a woman have changed in the last 15 years. Big time. It used to be never hit a woman. There's

no excuse for hitting a girl. Girls are incapable of even damaging a moose like me. Like that was the line. Now it was like, oh, wait, she hit him first? if she wants to hit like a man that she's going to get hit like a man she's signed up for this that seems to be the general idea now yeah i see that a lot uh i see a lot less white knighting in my uh in my fight videos he used to be that if a dude hit a girl he would suddenly be swarmed by like three or four dudes and they kick the absolute shit out of him but nowadays people

just like shouldn't a fuck with him yeah i've seen lots of videos of ladies getting the shit beating out of them. It's a good time. I saw a compilation recently. And the theme of the compilation of men beating up women was all just how lopsided these fights were. And they weren't even like athletic men.

Like there was a fat dude. You may have seen this one. Carrying his food like on a, I don't know, some sort of tray or like a cafeteria little styrofoam like divider tray type thing. And she's like trying to hit it. And he's expertly preventing her until he eventually throws it at her. And he didn't look athletic at all. But I think a lot of girls are shockingly unathletic. Yeah. Have you ever seen them fall? I've seen them throw and fall and just

about everything. Like, oh my God, I just watched a video of a two cops are waiting outside of a park bathroom for the hobo who's been hitting cars with a metal pipe. And the cops are pretending like they're not cops. They're knocking on the door. Hey, dude, got a piss. I'm like, smart cop. What I don't know is the body cam is being worn by a woman cop who will be entirely ineffective in just a moment.

So, find, they're like, come on, buddy, got a piss. And he's like, I'm taking this shit. And they're like, fuck. All right. So they wait on him to finish up. When he comes out, they pounce on him. They grab him from either side. He wrestles the male cop down to the ground, and he's like trying to get his gun away from him.

He's on top of the male cop. and the lady cop is punching him in the ribs from behind like a child. She's going, stah! Tit, t, t, stah! And she's delivering about that much energy, just a little, like, wrist flick of punching power. And it goes on for so many minutes that the cop, everybody runs out of breath and it gets quiet.

I don't know if you've ever seen a fight that's like that, where it started out really loud and raucous. And, like, four minutes in, everybody is so gasped, they can't scream. It's just grunts now. You just hear grunts. Coughlin Park. Like, he's trying to radio his location, because the girl cop isn't doing it. She can't even do that.

The one time he needs her to talk. Her body cam falls off and aims at the sky. And the next, and when we finally go back on board and get a camera, the man is on the ground the perpetrator the the shitter is on the ground like incredibly bloody so bloody that we have to blur his entire head

and I don't even know what they did to him you don't see what happened it was almost the cop on the ground gouged his eyeballs out or his other with his thumbs I don't know but the lady was just if I were a male cop and I had no choice especially in a dangerous neighborhood if you're in like small town USA

who cares but if you made me fucking police the streets of Detroit with female partner, I would quit. I would not do that job with a lady partner. There's no fucking way. I wouldn't do it solo either. Like, you better send me Brutus. You've ever send me Brutus Mick Gunlover who just loves shooting. I want to be the lady cop in this relationship. Yes. Yes. I will be throwing the ineffective punches. I want, I want me and Cam Scataboo out there. And I almost use him like the brain to the operation.

I use a, I use him like a Pokemon, where I'm like, Cam, charge him. Use spear. It just launches them. Yeah, I mean, like female, it would be super effective. Female cops like are, uh, that's like something that can only exist in like a super, super, super high trust, nonviolent culture. Because like the only thing that keeps any female cop from like getting into a really dangerous, like, if, a female cop comes to me and I'm a crazy person just like with my strength and my athletic ability, which is nothing to write home about. But like just with that, like, if she wanted

to arrest me, I would have to like cordially place my hands out for her to do it. Or she would have to have her gun out. Every altercation with a woman involved in serious situations is nothing or gone. It's either you respect it. And if you don't respect it, they have no option other than a gun immediately. agree, kind of. I just think that the roles for female cops are not the ones we're talking about. Like I can imagine a domestic violence situation where you want the wife to talk to another woman,

a rape situation where maybe they don't want to deal with like an all-man police force. This is the victim, the female victims of rape. Like there are places where like a police department would need women. It's just not pipe wielding hobos. Yeah, at the, maybe

like they could stay at the precinct. They could basically be office workers. But like, going out on a beat or pulling people over like and at that point you're not really a cop and so like when you think of a cop you think about a person walking around with the gun on a beat or pulling people over women have no place in those positions if they still want to call themselves cops and wear a little gun while they like sit at the office and talk to victims that's fine let them play pretend but it puts innocent people at risk when we like do these little song and dance routines society-wide if there is a special victims unit that like i could see

women participate women participating in that and just i mean for god's sakes let's stop pretending there's no difference between boys and girls yeah yeah it's like some some guy some poor guy is getting his head caved in because this girl like saw saw a fucking character on paw patrol that she liked and no and no one was bold enough to say no at any point zootopia i think was the inspiration for her career right i don't actually know i thought there was a pa patrol but i thought that was, you know, patrol. I thought that was cartoon cops. It's an order of the male cops I see such.

A female rabbit that wants to be a policeman and all the rhinoceros policemen and such are like, you are not going to be good at this job. But of course, the female rabbit uses her intellect and saves the day in the end. And there it is, our feminine little rabbit with the big

winking eyes and such a... I should have had a badger show up and just beat her to death. Yeah, I mean, that's probably what would have happened. some Honey Badger who is doing It's Honey Badger Hay There's literally like lions and rhinoceruses that are her co-workers

Oh She's a rabbit She's okay she should We need to stop teaching people Who are shit with movies like that Because some retarded little girl is sitting out there like Yeah I could be a cop

Because the Soft-handed writers in Hollywood Who wrote this film movie In Frozen There's a scene where the You know The girl meets the boy and she talks to her sister

and she's like, oh my God, I finally met my prince. We're going to get married. And her sister has this realistic like, the fuck? You just met him. You don't even know him yet. You hold your horses on this marriage. And it was a, it was funny because it's not what you normally get from a princess.

That was even more, that's more realistic than fucking a little bunny cop. I didn't know the backstory for that movie is that the other cops were rhinoceruses. Yeah, they didn't think that she'd be good at the job. And you probably were They were probably on to something. I bet if they like had a wider scope to that movie, it would like pan out of a lot of her victories

and it would be like fucking rhinos with desperation fighting rioters, undermanned. Like there's some super qualified elephant who didn't get the job. This video, I saw this guy's family come out with their, they did one of the, you often see the black families with their penstripe suit, black lawyer making announcements.

after the police have to have to kill them. And this time, though, the lawyer was like, we do acknowledge the shooting was justified. Marquise was an asshole. It's like, this lawyer is just catching a check. Why the fuck do they hire this guy? Like, they just immediately, because the video there, the perpetrator sideswipes the cop,

goes into the cop's lane, and hits the front right of the cop's car with the back left of the perpetrator's car, and then they both pull over to try to do the insurance hustle and then the bad guy without warning or any provocation slaps the cop in the face with a pistol pistol whips him in the face and then points it at him and the cop is off duty and just a good old boy big old beer belly draws a pistol like he's Doc Holliday

and guns the guy down and kills him I just slapped the fat guy and then shot that retard. Yeah, I mean, what's the attorney supposed to say? Like, what could he possibly did? The best journey on it couldn't get this guy. We did view the video today. We watched it twice. And we're sorry.

All we have to say is, oops. The top did have harsh words. He was blaming the other guy who I think was at fault. And he's like, something like you didn't like get out of my fucking lane or something like that. What the fuck are you doing? it's definitely something about fucking Lane. Like I just listen four times in a row.

And that's why the black guy hit him in the face with a gun and then pointed it at him. Presumably about to shoot or maybe to scare. I don't know. You have to assume about to shoot. You can't wait for the bullet to come out to make your call. But he hit the wrong guy.

Yeah, good shooting. Think if that wasn't a cop. It was. It would have not been a dash cam probably. And the attorney would have have made something up? Well, he said the N-word, according to the murderer. So we need to be very serious about this. Yeah, that's crazy. That that cop or that attorney should not have taken that. It's probably a public defender, dude. No, like, good attorney is going to take that. You don't get a

public defender when you're dead. Oh, yeah, I guess you're right. And we assign your corpse. They said his corpse up like that, like that PlayStation. playing funeral I like that Pope that they dug up and put on trial after death that's wild those after death trials that happened in Spain

the dick who did the pistol slapping didn't get any shots on target yeah how many shots did he get off I don't know they were both shooting a lot yeah it looked like the it looked like one of the shots the initial shots was very much on target for the fat guy

is that what you saw I couldn't to tell. I need a nice Hollywood blood pop or something to come out for me. I read that he was dead at the scene. They pronounced him dead at the scene when the EMTs got there. So the bullets must have hit something

good. But he didn't die so quickly because he sort of rolled, got back on his feet and propelled himself in front of the car and out of the camera. Oh, that's when he died. That's when he got killed. It's when he crawled around the front of that car. And he's showing the cop his head and his shoulder.

and then the cop sheeps like a couple three more times that's when he killed him for sure oh maybe i didn't stick to the very end of the video so the cop like executes him no no when the bad guy crawls around the front bumper of the car to try to like shoot him some more and the cop that's when the cop like bah bah bah and like gets him yeah he makes it around to the other side of the car and then still has the gun so he pops him one final time i saw a cop the other day moving like it was i saw a cop the other day moving like it was paintball him and a and a guy were fighting in the the police car was between them and he was hopping up on the hood and shooting down at him and like running around the back bumper and shooting at him.

It was great. I see it now. I love my police videos. There isn't much to see. It's just here. The guy's head pops out from around the car and he goes, I hear maybe four more shots and you're right. Those must have been the hits.

The crime in Brazil is so rampant and out of control with like people on bikes like mugging you and stealing and murder. It's so much worse there. their crime videos and police videos are fascinating because like it'll be two guys on a bike which is like a harbinger of death in Brazil seemingly and it'll be like some lady getting a purse stolen and then they like shoot at her don't kill her and then the cops come knock the perpetrators off the bike and then like as the perpetrators are running away backs to the cop the cops are just like no no no no no and they just kill them like right in the

middle of the road and you can always see like when they get tagged in an important spot because it's like did that guy get shot yeah oh yeah that's when he got shot his whole lower body went limp and now he's like crawling and now the cops like slowly approaching and just kind of removing a menace you know returning the purse here you go ma'am he's dressed like a bunny he's just like that lady i it's interesting to see what cops are like in different countries because obviously we've seen in uh Icelandic and and some european countries where they have those completely ineffective lady cops getting pushed around by Pakistanis

and just making a joke out of them. But I've seen some cops that just like somebody would be antagonizing them kind of in their face the way they do here in America and the cops have to stand there and take it. And they should I like that. You know, you should be usually be able to record the cops as long as you're not interfering with the scene. You should be able to like watch and record

and yell all you want. But they've tried to pull that shit and wherever the fuck they were in the cop just went bang! And like shot the guy in the leg. I've never seen. I'd never seen a cop intentionally just, fuck you. Does he like make a joke to his fellow cop? He's like, oh, great.

Now I'm going to have a done of paperwork. And he's like, brother, we are in Caracas. Just kill him. I can't even read. I'll level with you right now. I'm not a cop. Yeah. That's the good old days where they could just swear you in, you know?

And some trouble would arise and they'd just, you know, deputize you in, deputize you. That's what, when the Las Vegas shooting went down, as you know, Dan Bolzarian was trying to get a cop to give him his gun because he was feeling heroic. He was going to charge into wherever he needed to go. But after they'd already arrested the subject? No, it was ongoing.

No, he was getting involved. He was trying to stop the shooting. He was there? Yeah. He was trying to marky mark 9-11? He was trying to marquee-mark the Las Vegas shooting. he was going to be the anti shooting. Yeah, yeah. He was

pretty pumped up on that. I wish. He was on maybe live streaming, like running down the street. Yeah, it was the whole thing. I didn't realize as many people died in that as did. We looked it up the other day. 9-11, it was a huge deal. Yeah, you've met he forgot 9-11. It happens.

We had one rule about for doing. Yeah, he's a son of a bitch. I would never forget. Okay. this guy that's why we turned down that's Saudi money and we didn't go to Riyadh you know we were invited to Riyadh yes yeah yeah we don't take blood money here you know I would have gone that we covered that but yeah it would have it would have to be enough money to

change my life but like if China was like we need you to go tell jokes to like slaves in a cave I'd be like okay the the price is right what are they called Uyghurs what are those weakers are the the Muslim Chinese. Yeah, the ones that they black bag and put in those internment at re-education camps? They don't like them. They go, hey, you guys are causing problems. Guess what? You're going to a big school

at the base of this giant dam where we put everything. How many Uyghurs are there? Sounds like you guys are against education. I don't like it. Kyle's the one saying it's bad. They're being re-educated into great Chinese communist patriots. And that's what, you know, they're taking care of

their biz. According to human rights groups and researchers, the number of Uyghers detained in camps and prisons in China has been over one million in recent years. Some estimates have put the figure at 1.8 million that they are putting into re-education camps. You always have to, when I hear a number like 1.8, like in America, that would be so much. And then in China, like when you Chineseify it, it's like, I guess that's really not that many for them. It's like 600,000, right? You'd about triple it.

It'd be like, I guess it's actually a lot. Yeah. It's still one, but it's still a million people. Yeah, but those are terrorists, by the way. I mean, they're Muslims. Obviously, they need education. I'm for education. I don't think it's reading, writing, and arithmetic. I think it's communism and atheism. Yeah, yeah, they're probably, are they cool with any religion over there? No. Like, I thought if it was like Buddhism, you could kind of slide. I think they have big issues with Topal, right? Not Nepal. Nepal. Topal is the Vulcan from Star Trek.

That's right. She's that Vulcan with the really nice lips and the big ass. That sounds much better. Nepal has been hanging their hat on Everest for ever. Do something else, guys. That filthy mountain they've got? No thanks. They won't even clean up the bodies.

Disgusting trashy mountain. have you actually seen the base camp like how littered it is with like it's gross yeah it looks like old tent material that shredded up by like weathering it's like like ribbons of like synthetic fabric and just garbage the whole the whole base camp area that i've seen from pictures looks like a and it's huge it's it's it's there it's got to be one of their biggest industries no nepal's uh economy has to be based around tourism right like what else do they do there it's probably like that and I wonder why base camp's so messy. I think it's expensive to get things up there and getting them back down would be at least equally expensive.

Sure, but base camp's at like 17,000 feet, right? You can easily take a helicopter there, haul stuff in and out. Like, you should be able to clean base camp. And the things they take are kind of light. Like, it's not like they're bringing tons of cinder blocks and couches and shit like that up there. It should just be empty foil packs from dehydrated food and stuff like that. I think it's mostly just like maybe not that important in their culture to pick that stuff up. Like if that mountain was in North Carolina, you bet your fucking ass they're keeping it nice.

You see like 12 volunteers who should straighten that shit up in their time. In Nepal. Look at this. They're cleaning it up. Look at this. Over 10,000 kilos of garbage collected from Mount Everest. Wow. This is from the India TV news and India's throw.

cleaning campaign on the world's highest mountain. First ever. This is 2019. This is 2019. Yikes. It's a little overdue for first ever. That mountain's been there for it.

It's been there a long time, millions of years, and only now are they starting to clean her up? They've just let it get out of control. This is like if you're like really depressed and you just let your house get totally out of whack. Like, no, they're, they need more than a couple of weekend warriors. take care of that. I wouldn't want to go.

I would put a ton of it on a sled, on a series of sleds. You know, all right. So which of these do you think is more difficult? And just set money aside and time and all that. And it's, and you have all that. Climbing Mount Everest or taking over as a passenger to fly a 747 and land. And I don't have any lead time for either of these. No lead time for the 747.

You have a year for Everest, though. I think that's only fair. Because it's a physical activity that, you know, more than a mental and sort of... So do both activities get like ideal weather conditions? Yeah, we're so bad at this say yes. No, it's going to be, it's going to be random. It's going to be as the earth, as the world exists. I can't guarantee there will be no storms in either situation.

Well, on Everest, we do get to pick the day we go up, right? Like, you're going to, that's what they do. They're there for a couple of weeks and they wait for the best day to go. But that doesn't always work out. They'll give you their best weather forecast. Because it's, I think you pay like, I don't know, $150,000, $200,000 for the trip. And if like you get snowed out, blizzarded out at like that last 500 feet or whatever and turn back, you don't get a refund. I think if I have a year to prepare, my success rate would be higher climbing Everest than it would landing a 747 random there and random weather.

I agree. And it's a better brag. I think it's also easy. I think it's easy to climb Mount Everest. I don't think it's a major accomplishment in mountaineering and mountain climbing or in the world of physical feats. I would be way more impressed by someone who did an ultra marathon or had done like good times and well respected marathons or placed well in good, well respected marathons.

I think Everest is a tourist attraction, a tourist trap. I've seen them on those. They're like lined up person to person with a rope in between every person. and they're lined up like it looked like 150 people in a row like we're all climbing the mountain today and they all did i know that people die i've seen the movie yeah yeah it would be comforting though because you'd be looking around your group and be like i've got a lot of canaries in the coal mine here like because there's a lot of people doing this as like their bucket list and like i'm young enough i get i do they start dropping you know young enough like what's

the common thread amongst all these people climbing Everest? Is it athletics? Cardiovascular health? Young? No. Drill stickers, yeah. It's being able to afford climbing Mount Everest. That's what they all

have in common. They're all dentists and attorneys and surgeons and engineers. Like, that's who these people are. I don't think that you have like, I know, I was in the H.L. last year and I was looking for my next thrill. No, no, that guy's not climbing.

Everest? Yeah, that guy would go on one of the dangerous clients. That makes sense. So the cheapest range, the budget range here is 30 to 45,000. That's a car, you know, and it's your lifelong dream to climb Everest. Like, you could train it, you could save a 30 or $45,000 when you train in a few years. Midrange is balanced support and services, 45 to 70,000. And on the high end, having a Western guide, premium gear, and luxury services, I better have Coco at the summit is 75 grand to 120 grand. So, like, capping out at 120, and I've read 150 as well, like, that's not ultra wealthy type stuff for your bucket list dream aspirations, climbing mountain, this type of thing.

It's a lot of money. I mean, for 75,000, I would want them to carry me up on one of those things like Xerxes and 300. There's just a bunch of these little South Asians carrying me up. I'd be sick. I'd laugh at the climbers. I'm overweight. I'm eating. I like I have a fan. I have a fan on my carriage. You're wearing speedos with a heat lamp. You're steam rolling out the window. You crack the window to look at a blue-lipped Asian woman. Pardon me, ma'am. Do you have any gray poupon?

Roll that bitch up. Just like roll down the window. You got like a bong hit. Are we there yet? All of it was oxygen. I just wanted to be hungry for fun due night. Yeah. I definitely that.

Have you seen a movie with Josh Brolin? It's the true telling of a failed Everest expedition. And it seems to go really, it seems to be one of those more accurate true tellings of a real life event. It's not Michael Bade. There's no explosions or like incredibly heroic moments. It's just a failed expedition where one of the guys who was going up wasn't ultra wealthy. It was his third attempt maybe, maybe even his fourth. He kept getting snowed out or this would happen or that would happen.

And it's a lot of money like we talked about. And they were even like cutting him a deal. like they were they were like yeah we know this and that and like we'll do it for this much and we'll do it for cost and and the guy and the guy's sick he's got and i think he's bringing his like he's bringing somebody's ashes up there it's like this memorial sort of uh trip for him where he's taking somebody's ashes to the summit anyway cause i ever die i want you to take my ashes no no no absolutely not but he had like a cough like bronchitis or something and immediately

Josh Broan's like you ready to go buddy and he's like yeah yeah I'll be good in the morning and it's like one of his flammie coughs where you're like whoa this is day one of a seven day illness this is this is gonna get bad by the end we should we should knit this in the bud you have a humidifier but instead they're like yeah let's climb the highest mountain in the world and they get close and they're running

low on oxygen and the sun and the snow is coming in and they're like let's do it anyway And they go up and this guy gets to climb the mountain. It dies on the way down. He dies on the way down. And Josh Brolin's like badass mountaineering character, like passes out from the cold and hypoxia and then just comes to like the undertaker in that meme and walks down the mountain when they had been looking for him.

They had all been exhausted from searching for him. And he just walks down the next day. Frostbitten to fuck. His nose is black. There's this famous picture of him with his wife who's just overjoyed. after she finally gets him back. And he's like, hands are bandages and his nose is black. And he's just like, he's seen some shit.

You see the really short video on Reddit lately of the mountaineers sliding off the mountain? Yeah, the one that died in China. Yeah. So I don't know how many people are in frame, but I'll call it like 50. And they're all hooked into a safety line, except two people for some reason weren't hooked into the safety line. And you see two fully healthy, fully alive, like not problematic people sliding off screen down the mountain, knowing that they're not going to recover. They died.

They did die. And no one went to recover them. No one could. The recovery effort would have surely just led to even more deaths. And it's weird. Like I have a, maybe everyone does this reaction to people who are fine moments before their death. like 10 years ago there was a BMX guy who was going to do

like the world's first quintuple back flip off a gigantic half pipe and they're like here he is 13 seconds before death and you know he's like upside down going for it it's like fuck this is a weird picture

this guy doesn't know no no he died oh and and like yeah anyway The one that gets to me is there's a bicyclist riding down some cobblestone street, and the bicycle tips over. They let's fall off it.

They look like a drunk maybe even, or maybe they hit a pothole, but they fall with their head right under the tire of a big truck. And they go from just a lazy bike ride to their head explodes like a watermelon in just instantly. Like he's riding the bike, falls over. The truck hits his head. And his head explodes just like a. watermelon in one of my old videos and there's just brain and blood sprays out like 12 feet all over there and there's witnesses and you see the witnesses go oh god like reacting to it it's rough those videos are tough i i saw one of a uh in india and it was this guy on a bike

not a motorcycle a bike and he like peddled into a truck that was like taking a ridiculous like an India style turn which is just prey just hope they took this turn and this like truck started to fall and this guy was already too close and it was like it just like it was like a cartoon sad because he died but like just like tipped over onto him

and then it burst into flame immediately and it's like look at well there there wasn't a lot that guy could have done there really this is it this is it all right let's cue at zero let's see oh hang on hang on let me let me get to zero on this not see for life

I'm sorry, this had no pause, but yeah, yeah, yeah. No worries. We all, yeah, there's no pause button, but I'm watching it now. Whoa. Riding our bike, riding our bike, we fall over it.

Boom! Oh! Oh! That couldn't have gone worse. I think perhaps the bus spooked him. That could have gone worse. That's rough, too. Someone's got a case of the Mondays.

his head explodes and I mean look how much blood and brain matter sprays across the sidewalk there yeah you don't have to look carefully that's the best part it's high quality video it's not one of those fuzzy Pakistani

CCTVs yeah that's rough that's why I don't bite I threw my huffy away after I saw that upgraded got a big boy cyclist well I think it's about time

for dinner. I'm so hungry. PKN. 583.