Painkiller Already - PKN 588

Episode Date: November 26, 2025

588's up boys how's it going how's it going too much going all right playing a lot of arc raters good you guys are addicted just deep in addicted are you dream are you guys dreaming lots of people do things casually 12 hours a day Taylor are you guys dreaming about it yet like where you have your eyes fixated on a screen of the same game so long like you close your eyes and you get a tetris effect almost as you fall asleep so I get that if I play the game and then I play to exhaustion and then go straight to bed. And I have gotten, I have been, I've had, I've had the sickness that bad before. I've played Tarkov and Rust to the point where I'll be like, all I can take. I have to go now. I'm falling asleep here. Like, like, nobody's been

talking. Nobody, the, the, the, the, the, like, words per minute in our chat has slowed to nothing. Anyway, everybody's exhausted. If I go to sleep right after that, then yeah, I'm, I dream that I am in Rust or I am in Tarkov. And sometimes it's a bloody nightmare, you know, because those are scary games. You know, bad things are happening in my nightmares now. But not with Arc so far, because Arc is just kind of a fun, good grind. And I'll get too mad

about it. I like it when I get recognized in game. So when you press to talk, your in-game name comes up as like this person is talking to you. And my in-game name is Woody's Gamer Tag. So every so often I'll be like, friendly, friendly.

And they're like, bro. RSK for life. Then they blow your head off. We were in this high value loot room that you need a key to get in. For Kyle, it's town hall on Buried City. And people glitched through the door to get in. And I knew how to glitch the door.

Basically, one teammate pushes the other in, but there were two of them. So we killed them both. And then after you kill them, they're knocked. They're crawling around. They can't do anything. And my friend is like, bro, I have a defect.

I will bring you back to life if you tell us how you did it. And he's like, yeah, sure. And he's like, so we glitched to the door thing that I already knew about. And then he ran up to the back and he opened the shutters, allowing his teammate to get him with a zip line. Kyle seemed to know this already. And as he's explaining this, he's like, bro, Woody, are you like a streamer? or something. My friend is freaking the fuck out.

Yeah. He's like, he says he loves you. And I'm like, I'll tell him that it's not love and I only use him for his body. It was like the last thing I heard. Are you coming off hardcore though? Like are you shooting these guys afterward? You're like, yeah, don't forget the name. No, we kept our word with the guy. So one of them was dead, the one that liked me. But the other one, we kept our word. And he even got, I think,

most of our loot. The key is a high value. you item and so really the loot in there is supposed to be yours because you use the key to get it's a one-time use and but we gave them I think most of the loot but in exchange we did learn how to get two people in there and you can go in solo if you bring a deployable cover you can use the deployable cover to just warp you in so they said they fixed that a week ago but I haven't tested the fix okay well I thought they they said they fixed it all but like you still definitely warp in with a buddy yeah um uh i see a lot of people complaining about that i don't know the loot's not that good in there anyway it's just loot i feel like it's like it's like

concentrated loot and it's slightly better chances of getting pinks and stuff but it's like it's like it's not like you hit a big loot room in tarcov for example it's not like hitting like um red room and tarcoph where it's like yeah there's the pile of shit oh yeah almost never see one of these but there it is just like stuff in your pockets full of gems and jewels that's just like something like oh yeah this is a better room than normal um i i don't know i i think i burnt through all my keys on purpose just to get them out of my stash it's like this space like like i'm just like every day this thing's just sitting here doing nothing and it's not going to do anything and i i'll get more keys like i just used them all is this going to be your guys game for the foreseeable future

or are you starting to get to that crest point where you're like i think i've hit because sometimes that happens where you go from fully addicted and then it's all your goals are ahead of you And then you actually get that stuff in your inventory. And it's like, all right. Well, what's next? I don't know. Part of me thinks I'm about to do just what you said. Like I, I'm kind of post money at this point.

There was never a point in Tarkoff where I never cared about losing my year. At this point, I give my friends like epic and legendary shit. I don't care. I'm very in-game wealthy. And when I die, it's more about hurting my egos. than it is preventing me from running that kid again next time. But there is a prestige system in this game. I don't think it's ever, it's a new game.

So it's not, the window to do it isn't open yet. But I think you get like more skill points that make your character better if you prestige. But honestly, the skill points are weak as fuck. Like you grind it for hours and hours and like there's a mechanic where you hang on the wall and you jump sideways and hang on the wall. If you put five skill points, the max amount into it, you jump like 6% farther.

Like it is like, what are we doing here? This makes no difference at all. The one that breaches is 30% faster. So 10 seconds drops to 7. I mean, thanks. Like that helps. But they go out of their way to make everyone kind of on a level playing field. Whereas in Tarkoff, a guy like, say, landmark,

just had a different game than other people at some point. His recoil was so much smaller. He was so much tighter. He didn't just have better gear. His footsteps were quieter. He's getting more audio information. He can hear people farther away than they can hear him. Tarkoff was all about like earn it and get good.

This game is like, yeah, earn it, but I'm not going to help you beat Taylor. You know, you're all on a level playing field. So, yeah, if you think about the high end gear, especially like the most expensive stuff like the hole cracker and stuff it doesn't help you at all in pvp and doesn't make you more survivable either whereas in tarcov like you can bring a gear set that will make you a force to be fucking reckoned with you can bring enough armor that unless they really brought their a game they're gonna have a hard time killing you and you can bring scopes

and gear that are just so much better than theirs like guns with almost no recoil where like If you're pouring Tarkov, your gun is like, but, but, but, the stealing almost immediately. And you can't, your sights are blurry and like low magnification so that like, it's kind of hard to even hit. Even if he's sitting still, but he's 150 yards away, you're like putting this big blurry blob over him. And you're like, I don't know, I guess I put the middle of the blurry blob on the middle of the stick man. And it still misses. If it's close quarters combat, you've got malfunctions. You go like you start there like fully auto and the guy and now I don't even remember I didn't play after I didn't play very much after they added this mechanic

But there's like a set of keystrokes to like bang it clear it and get the gun working again and good luck surviving that It's it's not I like that part of the system that so you only get gun malfunctions when your gun is below a certain durability so you have to keep your guns repaired the problem the balance issue that they have a hard time actually balancing is how quickly a gun degrades. So if you've got a brand spanking new gun that you just bought or acquired and you take it into the raid and you kill one guy and you're like, fuck I'm at 92% out of 100. I killed one guy. And you kill one more guy and it's like 81%. You're like, that's worse than it. That was worse than the first guy. And as soon as

I don't remember what the break point is, but it's like below 90 maybe and you have a chance to malfunction. And the lower the durability, the higher the chance. So if you've got an absolute piece of shit, it'll be like, blah, blah, blah, bleak, blink, blink, blink. It'll like jam, and you're like, fuck, shift T, fucking shift. Okay. And he's like trying to clear the malfunction, shake the fucking bullet out and shit, rams it home. And you're like, finally, I'm good to go. Blu, blah, blah, glitch. And it does it again. And the guy like clearly sees you having a hard time. I'm talking to him in voice. I'm like, my God's breaking. My coach's breaking. Show my Didn't you show mercy to you?

Sometimes they will. Yeah. I mean, it's, you know, if you, I'm pretty good to do like, is there like a supplicate yourself emote?

Or like, you have to like get on your hands and need. That would be a good one. Dude, I wish you could take people prisoner. That's what I've always wanted to do. See, that was only fun in theory because the second you're taken prisoner and you're no longer,

like I would just turn the game off. It's like, oh, I'm not in control anymore. All right. Well, this isn't really a video game to me. This is like I'm watching a, This is like I'm watching a movie I don't want to watch. Yeah, there has to be still something at stake.

You have to, you would have to have a mechanic where, like, yeah, they've taken you prisoners. So don't give up or you lose double what you already lost. You have to play along with this. You should lose what's in your safe pocket. Yeah. You lose what's in your state pocket if you give up. That'd be good. Yeah, that'd be pretty mean.

No, I've been digging the game. I haven't played it much in a couple of days. I've been just doing other stuff, doing real world stuff. I have been watching this show It's like 10 years old But it's called Homeland That's the one with the guy from Band of Brothers I've never seen it

But it does I've seen it winters He only got promoted throughout the current He ended up in major or something He really You know He had his sights set high But anyway

The red-haired guy Yeah he's in it And I think Claire Danes is in it And basically it's Maybe around 2011 We're on Terror shit And in the very first episode So the inciting event, the big thing is that Winters, the red-headed character, was a Marine who'd been captured by what is Al-Qaeda, stand-in for Al-Qaeda, and he's been missing for eight years, presumed dead, and they find him in a raid.

Like, Delta Force goes in, and they kill a bunch of bad guys, and, like, their fucking Sergeant Major Captain Winters is. He looks like Rip Van Winkle, you know, he's got eight years worth of hair growth and a beard, and he's just like, I'm an American. And so now he gets dropped back into the United States after eight years of living in a hole. And his wife has been fucking his best buddy. It's been eight years. She's getting death benefits, okay? Like they try to make you feel like she shouldn't be doing this or she shouldn't be fucking this guy.

It's been a decade almost. It's been eight years. I'm totally on her side. She's the really hot chick from Firefly. And she's Deadpool's girlfriend that pegged him. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's topless throughout the show. It's a great time.

She's often naked, lots of nudity in the show. But I don't want to spell anything. 2010 was a better time. Now it's bottomless men. This show has, I haven't seen a cock in this show. I'm going to tell you what. There's a scene where a man gets pissed on. They blur the cock.

You know, they make it seem like the guy getting pissed on is a little drowsy or like woozy and he can't make out the cock. He could have made it out. But they didn't want to put that on us. But lots of fucking, lots of tities. Claire Daines is an absolute whore. She's in the show, too. She's like the main character.

She's great. She's like, she's our CIA, like, analyst officer, badass chick. It's, it's good. Um, I like the terrorism shit. Um, I like the, the Middle East stuff and it's lots of CIA stuff. Occasionally I'm like, I just don't know about this. This doesn't seem realistic. And it's played straight.

So occasionally I'm like, it reminds me 24, but more grounded to some extent. Like, we're trying to stop a terrorist. attack that's about to happen. We were bombarded with a lot of propaganda 15 years ago. This, okay, so I wanted to say that this isn't propaganda because what I will say is like, this shows the good and the bad. One of the main things in the show is that the U.S. killed a bunch of like Iraqi children and they covered it up.

Like that's a core part of the show. Although I noticed in the credits, it's based on an Israeli show. Yeah, called Get What's Coming. Yeah. called take that that's the name of the air sir it's all I mean it's propaganda but propaganda doesn't mean necessarily

no it doesn't mean incorrect like propaganda can be a real thing augment it's just about furthering a narrative that's all that propaganda is I give a good example of good propaganda Top Gun so Top Gun is made with the full help of the Air Force or the Navy I think

and they're there they're there every step of the way to like, I think they even help fund it. I think they pay some of the budget. Not only that, but you know, obviously we're filming on aircraft carriers. We've got obvious Navy pilots and fucking fighter jets and shit in the movie. Like, that's propaganda, but that's good propaganda. They're not trying to make, they're not trying to make us believe anything that isn't true. We're just watching old Tom Cruise flies playing one more time. They're just portraying pilots as like fighter jocks. I mean, they are, you know, making yeah yeah but i like i don't know what real pilots are like like real fighter pilots are like but

do you think they're that jacked i don't i think they're fit you know especially if they're like doing active combat especially if they're little guys too it's way easier to look jacked if you're like five six i don't care if they're jacked like like are you talking maybe you're thinking back to the beach volleyball scene from the first movie i've only i've never seen the movie but i've seen that scene like in like if form yeah i've told you've never seen top gun so no probably didn't see It hasn't come across my desk. And we haven't seen it either then, the sequel that came out. Well, I don't want to ruin it for myself.

God damn you. God damn you. Okay. Anyway, there's that kind of propaganda where it's like, yeah, the fucking Navy helped them make this movie. And then there's other stuff where it's just like, ooh-rah, U-Rah, U.S. does no bad. There's a little bit of a difference, I feel like.

I didn't think Top Gun was like that. It just felt like a good time. And this show doesn't feel like propaganda either. There was a little like the Russians were the bad. actors they shot first uh-uh in top gun top gun one yeah oh i don't remember the actual like politics the ticket one it was us against unspecified a stand but the first one they was made up a stand oh yeah they're like oh yes the the cougastanis they've been they've been talking shit again and we've got to go do this but i'm pretty sure the first one we were it was the russians you know

Maverick flying upside down, flipping the bird to the Russian pilot. Like it was us. Was it Russians? Flying circles around them. I think it was, yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I haven't seen it in a really long time. And I didn't like think much about who the enemy was. For me, it was just more about Tom Cruise fucking that hot chicken ride his motorcycle a lot.

Was she hot to you? She was. Oh, yeah. I, it's like she was, what, 35 and vibe 45? Wow. Is she the one that they put? pictures now and are like look at

Tom Cruise he looks incredible and look at this fucking hag and they just bully this lady look incredible anymore oh my god she's so beautiful show us Kelly McGillis Zach oh my god

this is her this is her in the movie she's like a 10 she's not looking great in 2025 in the big two five yeah I guess not she's 65 70 fucking years old yeah but so is Tom Cruise and he's adorable

he's first of all he's losing his touch like he doesn't look like he used to look there's a lot of those guys in your 50s man that's crazy he and john cina are converging on the same face this is literally like a perfect woman this blonde-haired

blue-eyed like gorgeous person I don't care what she looked like in her golden years there clearly still holding up quite well at that point golden years she's like 48 I didn't like cherry pick a terrible picture sure this is even a like you know a good picture but she's not in Tom's league here no what are we talking about right now I all right I think she is I think she's beautiful I think she's

like a nine she's like a nine she's so close to being perfect she is but he is perfect here's a close five foot seven perfect I could beat the shit out of Tom Cruise in his prime yeah right show that one you might have to zoom in a little you'd have to use that yeah technique can you make her big and zoom in this is what she actually looks like not like a you know perfect still put her on the give her more than a box i see the pixels i'm mostly being silly she is very pretty like she's just she's pretty pretty enough for i just always thought that they cast someone not quite good enough to be the heart throw you know

they're singing to her in bars every guy is falling over themselves to get her attention maybe maybe she wasn't in the bar in any case just yeah she was in the bar they were good she was the center of attention in that scene and i think she's just by hollywood standards she is below average man on the right he just he looks like jason bayman and she's robbing the cradle in that movie is it man on the look at tom cruise in that picture tom cruise looks like he's getting carded yeah she looks like she has a kid or two at home on the left it looks like it looks like on the left that she's like on her knees behind him and he's standing all the way up

he's on a milk grade definitely taller than he is yeah she's 27 she's 27 regardless Kyle RIP we're sorry to hear it and keep on keeping on Tom Cruise Tom Cruise is 23 now to be fair like he he should he gets carded. Like, he's, he's getting carded. But probably because he's five foot seven. He's a little guy. That's the only reason they're in the same league at all. If he's

if you take Tom Cruise and make him six three, he's not even looking at that pitch. He's three in the movie. Is he supposed to be tall in the movie? Is that a thing? He's not supposed to be tall, but you cannot. There's no like real reference to him being shorter than everybody else. It's mad. He stands on

boxes and stuff. I think he's shorter than she is. I'm not sure about that. He's in a Kawasaki GPZ 900 R. I wonder if that's a particularly short motorbike, you know? Like, because I know when I was getting my bike, like one of the things I always check, I'm taller so it's not, it doesn't come into play too much. It's kind of the opposite. Like if a bike is too low, then I'm like, Jesus.

I'm like, it's like sitting on a kid's toilet. You ever have to like sit on one of those little kiddie toilets or like visiting a school or something? You're like, fuck. This is, I'm just, I just got to wait. I can't get down that low. I've absolutely done that. That is so funny. Like I used to go like pick,

I'd be a senior in high school and I'd be having to stop at my brother's school because it was fastest just for me to pick him up on the way home. So I'd like have to go in and he'd be in like after school care with this like really grouchy woman with a mustache who I did rude. I did not like her. But like sometimes you'd have to, I'd have to go the bathroom. And like he went in there once to poop.

And like before I grab him out of the gym, I'm just going to use the bathroom real quick. so I'm not like telling him to wait outside, just keep him in after school care a little longer. And I get in there and I feel I've never felt like a larger person where I'm like, what the hell's going on? It's like I'm using a squatty potty. Like it's go over the travel.

If you were to stand in front of it, I was pooping so I wasn't doing this. But if you were to stand in front of it in pee, it would be like that phenomenon of not being able to electrocate yourself with a fence. Because by the time the pee has gotten all the way down to water level, it's like globular or whatever. it's like not a stream back in you but yeah it was it was not good but it was a full evacuation that's why that's why they give you those squatty potty yeah that you're supposed to use

but i just couldn't have those in my house out of shame i'd be like like oh did so this is like in my guest bathroom like someone's supposed to walk in and go pee and they're like that fucking weirdo purchase his legs up here like he's a bird of prey and then just i was turn used to sell those and they would talk about that and they were like do you have squatty potty and Howard would be like absolutely where do you put it it's right next to the toilet a little cupboard and you know you get it out you put it away and I'm thinking like I don't want to do that no I don't do that he's like well I keep it next to my pornography things are like hidden things that I can't let anyone see but it is supposed to be better for you because we're supposed to

poop like apes too where you just kind of go squat fire off back to the trees back to the leaves you know like like I don't know I haven't had any issues with my evacuations So I think I'm going to keep the same technique I've been using for the last 40 years. Just keep that one. Keep going with that one. Yeah. Just wake up in the morning, poop, go about your day. You can tell when you've been going a little hard on the paint with your eating because you have to go multiple times a day. That's never good.

Yeah. Yeah. Or it is. I haven't heard an true emergency shit in longer than I can remember. Like, it's been so long. But that's what happens. If I go on like a crazy streak of like eating whatever I want doing anything I want any hour of the night for three weeks, then I'll start getting like I'm out doing an errand and it goes from like zero to absolute emergency in one second. And that's the worst.

You're doing like little leg taps. You're like you're pushing on the accelerator with your right foot, but you have to go so bad. You're pushing with your left foot off the bottom of the floor. And you're lifting your ass and clenching. just told on himself because I was like wait he thinks it's bad to poop more than once a day so I start Googling it it implies you're not getting enough fiber if pooping more than once a day is an odd behavior it's not odd it's just like there are lots of times just taking care of in the morning I definitely get enough fiber in enormous amounts you might enjoy a vegetable just I get the

I just had some asparagus uh yeah yeah I guess I could up the veg. Just a little bit. Yeah, I had it asparagus just four days ago. Well, I have 11 eggs and three spears. Yeah. I don't know. I just, I don't, I don't have like poo woes like a lot of people.

You know, when you're around people like that who always have to like use the restroom. Oh. Frustrating. I think that like, because that it, because pooping is kind of a private thing, people don't talk about like what's going on too much. I think people get this Like I hear people talk about like You'll tell them you got talked

What'd you eat last night? Talk about Oh Bet you are shit your guts out No I'm not ill Like what is wrong with you That that like A taco makes you shit your guts out Like it's like that scene in the South part

Where Eric's like Yeah there's always blood in my underwear Like that's problem I have bloody diarrhea all the time That's just what I'm how it is I thought that was a joke that we were all making together, where it was like it was a joke about the quality of Taco Bo. I didn't know that some people literally four minutes after they finish eating, they get diarrhea. And it's like, well, then why would you, if I knew that was an option, I would forego that place.

I go, this trash tier food is not worth it making me feel sick. Yeah, nothing gives me diarrhea or makes me have like some sort of like gross bathroom situation happen at all. nothing i've ever like ever if i'm sick if i get food poisoning if some filthy fucker who made my food didn't wash his hands and his shit particulates got in my enchilada then i'm sick well that's out of anyone's control you know you can't you can have an iron stomach because they'll be made sick by dangerous e coli on the fucking tomato pickers hands they were buy one get one free the only uh the only food that i can like tell and it's more gas than like any problems with taking a shit but like once every probably 18

months. I'm like, man, I haven't had White Castle in a year and a half. Oh, it's a cabbage. White Castle. And so then I go, and because I do it every year and a half, two years, I get like 18 of them and I just mow through all of them. I don't get fries. I don't get any of the other horseshit. Just the cheeseburger sliders. And then that is a situation where it's like four to six hours after I eat them, my farts smell exactly like White Castle. It doesn't smell like a version of White Cat, like if I were to fart in an empty room, so we'll be like, are they setting up a White Castle in here? They wouldn't even

identify it as a fart. There's no scent lost. It's miraculous. That's one of those parts that when you're in the shower, you're in the hot shower, you blast a White Castle fart, you're getting out. You open that door. I've never had White Castle. I can't remember the last time I had talked about it. It's decades.

What is Crystal? Crystal is the same thing. It's the southern version of White Castle. So you probably know it's little square sliders. Like I'm aware. I've seen pictures and such. One time I took a bus as a teenager and I saw someone go to a White Castle. That's about as close as I've come.

What is the story again? I wanted to go roller skating and I didn't have anyone who loved me enough to drive me there. So I took public transportation and some guy hit the thing and yelled Yo, White Castle! And I'm like, you can do that? He gets

like delivery right to the spot. That's my white castle close call. Well, and you never made it back. It's not very good. It's average. It's the same way that like, if someone had never had Taco Bell, I'd be like, oh, well, I mean, you should probably try it, you know, just so you know what we're all talking about when we mention it, you know, I'm going to get yourself a grilled stuffed burrito and then

you can join the fun. I am the culinary equivalent of Taylor's movie watching. No, no, this isn't nearly as bad as that. Like, he's missed out on massive amounts of like the cultural zeit guys. You just didn't need a square hamburger. There's some cheap there. They don't use onions. They can't afford onions there.

Literally. They don't use onions. They use cabbage sprayed with onion water. That's why he's getting those parts. They use onion flavored cabbage. They use onion flavored cabbage because it's cheaper than fucking onions. And that is the most like, aren't we still in America? Like, what are you talking about?

You flavored some cabbage because we, is there sawdust in the fucking French fries? Like, what else have you done in it? What are their corners if you've cut here at the fucking white castle? I'm not buying it. Crystal's the southern version. It's the same shit. They do little everything, mini corn dogs, many chicken sandwiches, you name it. And the whole fun of it is that if you're a hungry grown man, you need a sack full of these burgers.

And it's kind of fun to be like, yeah, give me eight, you know, and like have a whole sackful. They call it a sack full. You can get like 20. You feel that way about McDonald's. Like $15 at McDonald's was outrageous. They sell burgers there for 70. sense. That's not true anymore. When I was a kid like 12, something like that, we would have these, in the summer, my dad would

always do these big projects on the farm. Like it would be like six or eight week long projects where we'd hire like a three or four man Mexican crew and I would run the crew and he would run me and my dad would and then like we'd do all this work. It'd be roofing and plumbing and all sorts of like poultry specific jobs but anyway we working hard outdoors for six or eight weeks on one project continuously during the summers and uh we need to get these guys lunch sometimes and my dad would go to McDonald's and just get he'd be like give me 20 you know give me 20 regular hamburgers and 20 medium fries and it would be like just a few bucks you know they didn't cost anything it's 15 dollars right there I still remember him feeding the

like all the Mexicans had eaten they're full of hamburgers I'd eaten all I wanted and there was still like eight hamburgers left over he'd ordered so many these like regular macdonald's burgers and he was feeding him to his doberman chopper and chopper was going and just like one bite like eating the whole burgers and like there's no thought of that being wasteful yeah like there's a report that came out about like uh macdonald's prices being they're up like 240% or they're getting it's like vastly beyond anything inflation or or supply and demand it's it's literally just corporate theft from comparisons like the 2019 menu

like you can look at the 2019 pre-COVID menu verse today it's it's unreal it's like double they just increased their profit margins they just ripped it out and it's like let's be real McDonald's is only decent because you know exactly what to expect

and even then like if I pass a Chipotle like I'm never 0% chance I'm going to a McDonald's Burger King I'll like pull off and get a burrito bowl yeah but the food is better at Chipotle it tastes better. So why would I pay the same amount for some like trash burger when I can get something that actually taste decent? Super sizing at McDonald's used to be like a quarter or something and now it's like $2.50. And it's like, wait a minute, are you trying to me $2.50 for like double the fries? Like fries cost nothing. I know what these things cost you. You, I have to think about

I know what they cost me. But McDonald's, um, McDonald's has their own like, but they buy all of the, there's a russet, a type of russet potato that McDonald's uses. because it's very long, and you end up with long fries that stand up and present well in their packets. And so I can't get those potatoes. When I want to make, it's the best potato for French fries, and you can't get them because McDonald's has them all. All of them?

Are they just like Idaho potatoes? No, no. It's a very specific. It's a special Idaho potato. Yes. It is a very specific kind of potato. I can't remember the exact name of it. It may start with CH, but I can't get them.

I want them. I want, like, sometimes I want to do something like the best version of a thing. like I'll get Wagyu steaks and it's like well I can't just use any old potato for my for my $85 steak here and I don't want to get some fancy taters but you can't get them but anyway what I'm getting it is like their cost for a potato

isn't nearly what mine is and I'm getting them for $3 for 10 fucking pounds I can get 10 pounds of taters for $3 here at Aldi what are they paying and then you multiply that times packets of French fries like how much how much potato is that you know and then Aldi is the one place.

$5, $6 for a pack of fries. Before we shift, McDonald's supersizing makes me frustrated because I see them put the fries in the fry thing. They take the scooper, they put it in the medium fry, and it's like overflowing. It looks like a bouquet of flowers. When you get a supersized fly, same scooper, they put it in there. There's room to spare. Those fuckers owe me a scoop and a half on the supersize, and they don't give it to them.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yes. Oh, my surprise. Yeah. I agree. And that's the only, like, little redeeming part about McDonald's. Dude, have you bought chicken nuggets as an adult? Yeah. Yeah. I like, I like doing these nuggets. They're really not great. Oh, I meant McDonald's nuggets. Oh, so even as a child, I, like my, my sister would always get the nuggets. We would get, we'd get happy meals when we went through as kids. And I would always get a hamburger happy meal, extra pickles, extra mustard and she would get a chicken nugget happy meal with honey she always wanted to dip them in honey I remember this was like this happened like three nights a week or something

coming back from practice or cheerleading or whatever the fuck we were doing as kids or little activities I all even then I thought they were gross and like weird and had an odd consistency and I see they smell weird they don't smell like chicken or nuggets and they're not breaded they're it because like breading like scrape off they're encased yeah And they come in pre-made shapes. I didn't know about the pre-made shapes until I, like, 10 years ago or something. I've always been a boot boy.

Yeah, I knew. I didn't know that I never, like, paid enough attention because I never ate them as a kid because I thought they were gross. And then, like, I don't know, maybe twice, three times as an adult. I, like, I got them for whatever. And I always thought they were really nasty. And Wendy's nuggets are good. I got Wendy's nuggets. Like, I actually got Wendy's Tenders the other night because they introduced Tenders at Wendy's.

And they were buying one, get one free. Got to get in on that. Had to. They were good. They were fucking good. The Wendy's tenders, like, that's a 7.010 tender. I've had the Wendy's nugs, and the Wendy's nugs are not bad. They're better than McDonald's ones. But I always hate it as the McDonald's ones is if you, like, bit into it.

You could see on the inside that, like, the meat wasn't even attached to the breading. It's like there's a tiny chunk of meat floating around in this exoskeleton of. I'm glad. This triggered. do you hear them think about Campbell's no no I didn't check a Zach show me Campbell's stock price for the last I think he said Campbell's chicken noodle possibilities show me Campbell's stock price for like the last 30 days Zach so Campbell's CEO or owner or somebody in the higher ups got caught on on on audio laughing at how his soup is for poor people because they can't afford

anything else and thinking it's funny and admitting an audio that they 3D print meat for their soups which is a federal crime okay you can it's it's a huge debacle oh and then he also said either racist or sexist things i can't remember which he was like oh and by the way fuck those they don't eat soup anyway like a bunch of poor mexicans eating my 3d printed chicken You literally had a Dr. Evil moment on, like, tape. In fairness, they weren't killing it. Year to date, they're minus 27%. And also, I've had the Campbell's chunky,

and then I've made the mistake of just, like, absentmindedly picking up a can of regular Campbell's. And that's just like a whisper of soup. There's not even ingredients. It's broth. And I'm like, who's eating this? No wonder it's 89 cents a can. This was years ago.

It's probably $1.99 now. It's a child, Gamble's chicken noodle was like our standard soup. That's what we had in the house most. Dude, there is barely any chicken. There's a little, like you'll get six tiny cubes of chicken so much smaller than you might be imagining if you're thinking of it. I used to look at the front of the beef and vegetables can and be like, I can't wait. And then you make, like, did they forget my meat? I always like the sirloin burger, like chunky soup.

It had like little oval. That was my go. It's like basically beef stew with, but instead of like steak, it was hamburger bites. It was like many hamburgers. And there was like green beans and potatoes and like a meaty stew broth type thing. I always liked that as a kid, but you're right. Chicken noodle soup was a go-to. The meat in the chicken noodle soup I always heard was like the old,

old like hens who stopped laying eggs that was the last use for them you know like like they yeah and they were using that meat for it and of course if you ever look at the meat in chicken noodle soup it's like it's gross I don't I don't even want the meat I just want the broth and the noodles in the end but apparently it's 3D printed

fucking meat it's not I don't know what they start with what do they use yeah like meat slime I guess I guess they take meat and just put it in meat in a different shape and like an extruder and they could be growing the meat though in a lab like like that's the I don't know you know I don't trust the Campbell's corporation to storm that beach I don't want them making those decisions clearly aren't on the ball they're going to be like feeding us some nasty meat they already are yeah no Campbell sucks I don't know who the next big player in the

suit market is progresso that is a classier soup it is you see you see a bunch of progress of in someone's cabinet compared to Campbell's. It's like you. Pinky in the air progresso eaters. I'll stick with my Campbell's. Thank you very much. I remember these like these there are these little soup cups that you could like that had like a plastic top that had holes in it and you would like take the top off crack it and take the tin lid off and then put the plastic back on top. Oh yeah.

It's supposed to like microwave that in your microwave and be like, like, oh, fresh, ready to eat soup. And I got a bunch of these in college. And I remember, like, the first time I was doing it, I guess, maybe it was like tomato soup. It was a brighter colored soup. And I was like, man, what an invention. And I put it into the shared microwave with, like, my roommate.

And I, like, zap it for the amount of time. I go to open it. It's all the soup has left the, it's everywhere, all over the microwave. I got a watch. I remember I felt so foolish because I was in my head. I'm like, man, wow, you know, we are in the future. 2009 whoa you know what I do like that they did

and I think it's whoever at marketing came up with this one because you're selling soup you know and it's like hey we need to sell more soup what can we do I just can just imagine this like what was the guy from the cigarette smoking show what's his name John Draper I just imagine the Don Draper sitting in that

Campbell's and that camels meeting be like what if they could take it on the go with them anywhere you see soup it's limited to the home what if he soup on the go and they come up with those sippable cups and it's like oh my god that is that had to like just bonkers money that they made as soon as they introduced those because i remember thinking like yeah that is now i can take it with me it's like a little hot cup of coffee there's a little sippable cup it had that reversible lid you put on there it wasn't bad but all the stuff got stuck to the bottom

because like half the noodles and things wouldn't come through the top it's you got to have a sipping soup You know, like chicken noodle is not a sipping soup. They invented the disposable thermos. Because thermos exist for soup a long time ago. That's true. That's true. Even the top is a bowl that you could like drink from. Yeah, but you're not getting it.

The size they made for this was not filling and not convenient. You can bring it with you. You can bring it with you, but it's also too thin to sit safely on its own in a stand. car cup holder. That's what they don't tell you. And so when you see that person in the commercial holding it as they drive, that's because they have no alternative. They can't put it in the cup holder because it'll rattle and then you get soup in your cup holder. Ask me how I know. I can see why thermuses made a comeback. Like Stanley's became real popular. It's a solid thing. Yeah, it's easier. Well, Stanley's aren't thermuses though. They're just like trendy cups. Like thermuses are those things

that like our dads had or maybe our granddad's who actually like worked worked and like you know it would keep like a half a gallon of coffee hot all day and then the lid of it is your cup it would pour into like I can remember having my grandpa's story looks like

it was it was used in like a million hit this on the ground as hard as you can competitions. Isn't this the thing that people just got popular again? No. The colored cups No, the thing that is popular is with girls, and it's like a giant coffee cup, basically, with a straw on it and stuff. I mean, it would work with sleep. It's still an insulated cup.

Like, it would work. Well, but it's just not a thermos. A thermos is a thing where the lid, first of all, a thermos keeps things. So this thing, that's a huge link, but that's the thing everyone likes? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, all right, all these Stanley stories in my head, I imagined the first one. So they come in lots of colors and designs.

Family thermans. And then different brands do tie-ins and they become collectible. And they're expensive. Like that one's only $33. I remember them being $50 at one point. And then like kids, like obviously I'm not in high school, but, you know, my girlfriend is. So she will be too. I'm trying to pull her out.

You know, I've got to keep her away from the goddamn liberal fucking pedophiles. You know what I'm talking about? I want her own... They're the danger. Yes. You're going to corrupt her little mind. Right, right. It's pliable.

It's still pliable. She's got all that neuroplasticity. But I saw little girls getting into fights. Let's see little girls, like 15-year-old girls, like cracking each other with these Stanleys. Like, I've seen several fights because, like, girls are fucking mean. They're picking on each other because it's over the, over these Stanlies. It's become like a... I remember when I was, I'm trying to tell my dad when I was like 16, maybe 50,

and I was getting one of my first cell phones and I was like, no, I want this one. He's like, Kyle, it's a phone, not a status symbol. And I'm just like, you're so close. You're so close. Like, how do you not see that this is a status symbol? Just having one is a little bit of a status symbol. It's 2001.

But like, give me a cool one that has colors on it. And I might get laid just for the phone. You don't understand. Like, this is the beginnings of cell phones. Give me a chrome razor. oh the razor hadn't come out yet this is pre-raiser like this was yeah yeah almost everybody had that like almost everybody had like the little brick ericson that that's invincible um and then i wanted some the Nokia yeah yeah i wanted something different i wanted something cool i wanted a tiny phone that was the cool thing at the time was like how tiny your phone was because they're like you know obviously more expensive to get a tiny your phone was so small the speaker was like on my cheekbone didn't this work well time there was nothing useful to see on the screen other than with my like silver dollar on my ear what do you mean you can't hear me oh hang on can you hear me now people do that

i missed that can you hear me now oh sorry this is the brand new iPhone i accidentally touched both sides of my phone and now i like it's hung up on you um yeah i tried that those early cell phones had a lot of like um i don't character like like i can remember going to buy like my second or third phone and it was always a big deal because I was a kid and I was saving up for these things and like the technology was like advancing really fast so your next phone will be way better than your last phone unlike now where it's like is it different I think this might be a step backwards like what do you mean I don't have that that dongle what is yeah that was like new stuff new tech if you offered me a free iPhone right now I'd

probably take it but mostly I'd think well this is a pain in the ass now I I have to make the new one, like my old one. Where's, you're going to have to carry, where's, do we have Larry Lawton's daughter's phone number? Because I need this thing programmed. And I just can't be bothered. Is that what that guy's name was? Yeah, it's pretty close.

Get her on the line. Get Larry's granddaughter on the line. We got to crack this. We got to get into the mail. Hey, Larry, your daughter's still into the cell phone programming gig. it's the end of that game still because I get stumped I don't know when to hit next and set up later

two options retardness I'm with you I will say definitely with the iPhones I wouldn't care to have a new iPhone if you paid me I would take one but if you said you can have the brand new iPhone

but you have to switch over the iPhone ecosystem get rid of your Android I wouldn't take it I have my Android because I want it But some of those, some of those trifold and the Z flip phones, we've almost, we're almost going back to what I'm talking about, like back in the heyday when each generation, it was like, oh, well, here's a new thing. This is color. I remember the first color video phone. I had it. I was like, I would show people, like, look, check it out, dude, $375 for this. Can you believe it? But watch this. And it's like, take a little video of a dog and then show it back to him. And it's like, oh, my God. She's got a video camera in his pocket Is that your kid? That's my dog. The problem is, you know what the video is you have to be present with me as we film it

so that you have reference memories to fill in the likes of the artifacting of this terrible. It was actually okay. It was okay. Not where I know what they are now. But anyway, those new phones like the Z flip, which is like old school flip phone, but with a foldable screen obviously. So when you unfolded, it looks like a regular, you know, cell phone. And then that those trifold.

phones that are doing crazy stuff. Like, I like that too. They're $1,800. That just doesn't seem convenient. It's expensive, but it's not like wildly out of reach. How much is a new iPhone? So it's like two phones? 1,200, I thought.

If I had to guess. When do you guys imagine using that and being like this is so much better than a phone? But with the Z flip, with a Z flip, I just like that form factor better. I feel like I would, I would enjoy just flicking it in my hand like I use. Wait, does Z-flip mean the thing that, like, folds into three panels? No. So the Z-flip is like an old-school flip phone, but are married with a modern, you know, glass rectangle. So it's a glass rectangle that folds in half seamlessly and does so really well for like a trillion folds with no issues.

It looks good. If you show them one, Zach, I think they're like $800 or something. A bigger phone would be nice for me if I was a guy who was on planes a lot. You know, when I read in a restaurant, I could have a bigger font, stuff like that. Like, if you increase the font size on an iPhone, not that I would as a young guy like me. Try to find out to make it smaller. You start running out of real estate. You know, they're not really designed for big, easy-to-read fonts for old people.

Yeah. You see, I see my dad's text messages. And it's like, how do you remember what the beginning of the message is about? by the time you're like in 60 lines down. You can get lost in a word on some of that font's that big. That's like the, it's not what I thought it was. Is that the Z flip?

Yeah, it looks fine. Went like, yeah, there, there you go. The one of the, this is what I'm talking about. The one on the top is the form factor that I actually like. I wonder how bad the fold is over time. Because I've seen plenty review videos where they have a brand new phone and they're like, it's not quite as nice at the full point, but it's fine. Okay, have that live in your pocket for

18 months and you can show it to me. Drop it three times when it's folded up. They put it in that machine that folds and unfolds like 10 million times and it was fine. Like in a controlled way. Do that with a little sand in your pocket. Do that with some. Sand in my pocket. Okay, Dale. All right. Well, like, you deserve it. You've got a pocket full of sand. It's not weird to be, but I don't have sand in I'm the guy who runs the machine that folds it a billion times. Ask me about the process. Tell me more about the process. I saw the machine.

I saw how it. Absolutely. Dude, I watched the machine at work. I saw it doing this thing. No, I think that O-L-E-D panel technology is there. I saw one of those crazy, like, roll-up TVs on Reddit today that was like, I don't know, fucking 20 feet wide or something. something and they had it rolled up like uh the the projector screen in your high school she's just

like unrolling what looks like a gigantic perfect like oled screen like i think the technology is there for that so i i could do that i could do that z flip but i don't even know what my phone is like it's it's a pixel maybe i don't even know yeah you have the google kind you told me when you got it the they're all about the same this is i don't know what my phone is either that's fine i know it's an iPhone. But if you ask me what number it was, I don't know, between like 12 and 14, I think. Like, I'm not even sure. And then the worst thing is oftentimes Jackie gets my old iPhone. Like that's the process. And it's usually, it started because I made content. I always needed more space and like the better audio and this and that. And then I'll update that system.

Yeah. Well, she has leapfrogged me from time to time. But whatever. Anyway, what I'm getting at is oftentimes it'll be like Woody's iPhone and then hers is also called Woody's iPhone this naming system is so flawed I don't know who's who Bluetooth is a nightmare in your house to get everything set up it's the worst

dude I was looking just for fun looking at new TVs being like I want to put a real big one in my basement because I've got that 75 one down there now but I was just curious like a big one not a mere 70 They're so cheap. But I was looking because everything in the world is so expensive now from like the material to do all this. But not TVs.

Think about that. A 98 inch TV, a 98 inch Samsung, not a fucking Vizio, like a Samsung, one of the real brands, is $2,100. I went into my basement today and I was like, what? It's $2,100 for a 98 inch TV, Samsung. O-L-E-D or Q-L-L-E-D 4K, so whatever that is. I was like in my basement measuring it and being like oh man this would be slick this would be awesome but then I pictured myself even trying to play a video game on it like I'm like having I'd have to actively look around playing so I was like I don't know with that maybe I'll stick with

this one and play it for I I I opened Amazon to like I think I ordered my dog cheat up my slippers so I was ordering some more slippers or something and I flick through the Black Friday TV deals and there was a 4K like 55 inch TV for like a hundred and seventy dollars and it's like I I remember when those were I remember when it was such a big deal when I got my first like HDTV like I was oh man this thing is a little expensive this this thing's a little expensive but it's going to be worth it and then I remember and then like the when I bought that 72 inch 1080p TV it was like 6,000 with tax like 6,000 fucking dollars for a 72 inch 1080p TV

And that wasn't forever ago. It was like, I don't know, 12 years ago. And now they're just giving them away. They're just giving them away. That is the only thing on earth that's gotten cheaper. There's not one other thing that's gotten. Look, is that some sort of vast conspiracy to keep us docile and sitting on our couches being programmed consumers? How is that the only thing that keeps getting cheaper is the thing that like programs us?

Well, if that were in case, they'd be making PCs a lot cheaper, too. Look at PC monitors. 1080P monitors are free. TVs, I think, are supplemented by advertising. I bet that Samsung you're looking at has advertising you can't remove. Oh, not all of them. So there are some exactly like exactly what you said. And there are some business models like that that are interesting.

I saw that guy who does the water that's free. And like, here, it's water, it's free. It's like, how can it be free? Well, look at the bottle. It's covered with advertising. So we just give these waters away for free. It's paid for by the advertising on them. It's like, okay, I get that.

And I know there's TVs as well that, like, are way cheaper because they do have that advertising built in, but like, my TV doesn't have any. Do they charge you? I have the same TV as you, and mine doesn't have that. Maybe it was, so, like, is it, is that what you know? My Roku has it. Oh, I just use the regular smart TV. I just use the TV as the TV.

device. Usually they, like, you know, you go to your smart TV and it's like, do you want to watch Netflix? Do you want to watch this? Well, Fandango's on there for a reason. Red, something starts with red. I forget. It's not Red Tube.

But like there's, what'd you say? Red box, the movie thing? Maybe it's Red Box. I don't know. But like there's a bunch of boxes on there that I didn't ask for. Oh, those are free apps. They come back. Well, they're free apps, but there's like in store purchases in them too.

I think they pay Roku to get. on there. There's also like the like ridiculous ones where you'll look up the name like I want to watch the unusual suspects and it's like

it's free with two hours of ads on tubi and it's like I'm not about to pop over to 2B TV or Bufo streams like all these ridiculous names sexist bandango took over voodoo

two things I've never heard of they're both those streaming never used Roku is also a streaming channel and it's the same thing they've got tons of content and they just run commercials against it and then they pay whoever

owns the content that's their business model Roku is obviously a standalone streaming device I used to use a Roku and before that I had an Apple TV or before that had an Amazon fire but I'm like Taylor now

I just use the TV it's the quickest, slickest way to interface with the apps and I don't if there's ad so I've got my favorite apps like save to my homepage and so I don't know when I press home it's just my

like the eight apps I use whatever they are you know yeah prime and I'm running a bunch of stuff through prime now like like I got I had to go back to HBO I'm back on that train paying them God was it 20 a month oh I got you over a barrel

you got to remember right over that barrel they got good content though this is Max we're talking about yeah yeah whatever they're calling HBO these days yeah I had to get back on HBO I wanted to watch a few things that were on there. I can't remember what it was, but I wanted it. HBO makes X's branding look good.

They changed it. You know, they've reverted back again. I think they're going back to like, who's they? HBO. Oh, really? Yeah. Like, they were just Macs and like, I think they're going back from Max because it didn't make any say.

HBO was what people know. It, like, it rolls off the tongue. That intro, that's iconic. That's programmed in. And it's, it's like set in your mind alongside those incredible tent pole projects like the Sopranos and the Wire and Game of Thrones and all that shit. Like to go in a different direction made no sense. They have a competitor called Cinemax. Yeah.

But HBO, what they do in Twitter for that medal is so matter is so phenomenally. Imagine a Coca-Cola changed their name to zip-op. Yeah. Just, yeah, a Coca-Cola. That's a brand we've been building for 100. years we're throwing it away everybody knows it household name i can picture the logo i can picture the tone of the red let's just start over like they crazy so they changed their name back in july uh it's HBO max now um so it's well it's HBO max it used to be HBO now it used to be HBO now at

one point there was it those are apps okay it was HBO go and then HBO now and then HBO max and then it was just max and then they decided to revert back to HBO max that wasn't them changing the name. You said HBO Max now, but HBO now is something from about seven years ago. No, those weren't different company names or those weren't rebrands. Those were early apps to watch, to stream

HBO. But they rebranded to just max for like the last year or something like that. And it didn't work very well. I remember when they did it, being like, what the fuck are you talking about? Like HBO is the show. I can't name you a single Cinemax show. Cinemax is famous for having, late-night soft-core porn that I would jerk off to with my finger on the last button.

Oh, man, memories. I was quick on the draw. You hear footsteps in a doorknop turn. All of a sudden, you're right back to fucking beanie baby infomercials at four in the morning or whatever it was going on. I've always loved replays of baseball. Because we had a cable like de-scrambler. and my last button would just switch between softcore porns,

which everyone was better at the moment. Like, oh, they're talking. Last. Oh, that's great. You were just living high flying by the scene of your plans. I'll live in the future back in the 90s.

We never had cable. We always had a satellite. Cable doesn't run. There is no cable there. Like, there still isn't cable. I think my dad just got internet that's decent like this year. Like, finally, like someone bought the local internet company.

and install a little bit of infrastructure, and now he actually has some streaming apps. And I don't know if he knows it, but I can see everything he's watching on my end. A lot of real housewives? Well, he just like, I think he gets, does he watch Boomer Slop? No, no, he, like, just everything.

It's just, he'll watch like 20 minutes of, like, everything. I think, like, before he goes to bed, he just puts something on and watches 20 minutes up until he gets tired and then goes to sleep. Because, like, he never finishes anything. He'll watch like, one episode of Justified and never again. And it's like, I bet if I asked me, like, yeah, never could find that show again.

I like that first episode, though. Like, isn't I'm going to navigate around it. It's just 11 things to the right off screen and re-continue watching. Yeah, or you could just, I'd be like, you see that magnifying glass? No, no, I don't. Well, I know it's there. Turn your video on. He turns the video on and points at his screen.

I'm like, looking at the top left there. Oh, that's it. it is. It's like, yep, there it is. It's one of the few icons currently on screen. That's how I set up his rogu was he put me on a video call and pointed the camera at the TV and I'm having him type passwords and full emails in with a fucking TV remote over the phone through video.

And I'm like, no, it's it's underscore. Well, see, it's like, I don't want to explain it. Imagine a dash, but you drop it. It's like a lowercase dash. It's like, all right, lowercase. No, you don't, well, now we're in a whole different group of characters. Is it this one? Oh, it's a treble clap.

What the fuck was that even doing there? You know what? You leave this typed in as is. I'm going to reset the password to this. And then you stay on the screen. That's what I did. That's what I did. That's what I actually fucking did.

Like, I, it was a nightmare. We got him all program now. He's got streaming. It's beautiful. He's got all of his, you know, things to just wand through. I wish I would. him to focus on one thing though. I want him to get him on the Game of Thrones so he can feel our disappointment. Don't do that to him. Anyway, we got to hop off because we got a hang

out tonight. Check out the Patreon. If you're going to be a part of that. We're going to play some code names. All right. PKK and PKK and 588. I forgot what I do here.