Painkiller Already - PKN 591

Episode Date: December 17, 2025

P.K. N. 591. How's it going? How's it going? Are you current? I'm flurvis yet. I'm sorry. I'm not. I got into Warhammer 40K novels again, and I've been burning through like a novel a day. Don't even watch it. The show fucking sucks.

Oh, no. You dodged it. Bottle fell out. Hours into this piece of shit, and it's just videography, masturbation. Eight hours of the last hour long. episode was a man walking in the woods. I'll tell me that. Fuck! What are you doing?

What's the show? Nothing happens. They pull you in in episode one with this really interesting universe. I'm going to watch this going like, oh my God, what lens is that? Fuck. Whoa, that's 70 millimeter. That's a slice for sure. It's just like the worst part of Breaking Bad where they like film something in the reflection of a doorknob or whatever. It's that bullshit. And no story. No progression. That's what's

happening here. There has to be some kind of story going on. There's visual storytelling. I haven't seen it. I don't know why I'm climbing on top of this. I'm just trying to figure out. I guess I just want to make an argument where there isn't one at all. But you could say the pine barons, there was no story. Just two guys in the woods. But that was a story. They're yapping the whole time. I'm sure there was or maybe if it was one guy in the woods. There was an interior decorator. Really? So let me. Slavakia. Choosing my word so is not to spoil anything.

But in the opening episode, you learn how all of humanity save what I won't tell you how many people, not many, I have become infected. And now they're like a hive mind. And they're very nice, super duper nice. And one of our main character, the one who was in Better Call Saul, wants to make everybody normal again and have like agency and free will and just you know be who they used to be and uh well that's it that's it i've saved you 14 hours you're welcome there really is it much more than that what am i going to do these 14 hours now next i'm going to watch it eventually because the universe will suck you in and then as you binge watch it you'll be reading Reddit at the same time. Like, oh my God, I get it. I get it. He's walked. Oh, okay. Yeah,

yeah. It like needs shoes, I guess. Yeah, he's been walking quite sometimes. That can be negative. Like I've, like if, if you look up forums about the new game you're playing or something, it can even start innocent because I did that with Oblivion a while back, like almost a year ago and it released the remake. And I was, I was having so much fun with Oblivion. And I just wanted to look like how to do X, Y, Z air, where to find this. and it was like a Reddit thread for Our Oblivion popped up and I go in there and I'm trying to find the answer and one person provides it but then all the other comments I see are like these purists being like

seeing all the newbies jump in as if this is anywhere near as good as Morrill Wind like give us what we really want whatever that guy's name is and I was like now I'm like sad that am I missing out or are you just a smug piece of shit douche bad because I wasn't saying read Reddit about the show I was saying, you'll find something else to entertain you. Solve a Rubik's Cube. I don't care because this show's not going to do it on its own. Okay.

Okay. Here's the smallest spoiler in the world. Man runs out of gas while driving. 12 minutes of watching him walk with a fucking empty can of gas, looking for more, headed back to his car, fill it up again. 12 motherfucking, what am I doing here? What was that? Wait, is anything?

happening is he is he having an internal monologue that is the lowest rated episode like so the most recent episode the gap um which i seen the thumbnail has a man driving a yellow convertible yes um yeah it is 7.5 out of 10 uh on the ratings the rest of the ratings are seven eights mostly eight and nine i'll tell you it's it is visual storytelling and what they're demonstrating is a person who doesn't want help from the other people That's it. Oh, I get it. Because by the way, the nature of the hive mind seemingly is that like they understand, it doesn't seem to me, and don't correct me if I'm wrong, because I've only seen like the first episode or two. It seems to me that the hive mind isn't the traditional hive mind where an alien presence is puppeteering all of humanity. Instead, it is simply that all of humanity has linked and shared their, and like they had a little seizure. And when they came out, of it now they're sort of not only sharing one mind and one like sort of like cloud of thought but also all their memories and so there's this vast understanding and kindness that seemingly

has overwhelmed them so if you ran out of gas maybe if you just yelled loud enough like gas would come sprinting toward you in someone's hands like like they it would be their their happiest duty to bring you gasoline so I get that you've been heard I won't confirm or correct but here's a person who's very independent and they took an hour to say that with their visual storytelling and I'm just like move it along it seems like you're on the side of a lot of the viewers and not on the side of a lot of the reviewers because there's a big gap between the like tomato meter people they say 98% and then the the public say 68%. So I would imagine that they are mirroring

some of your same complaints like hurry it up and not some like fart huffer reviewer sitting there like I really appreciated this and it's like I don't like that see now the public is John Q normal which which is you you think and then the reviewer is some like imaginary

Frenchman with a pencil mustache sipping an espresso when in reality John Q is kind of a repugnant foolish pigman and the reviewers are just people who like really enjoy movies and television

and it's their job yeah well to some extent I don't think they get paid some of them obviously get paid they're the Siskels and I don't those guys are dead now whoever the modern days Ciskel and Ebert's are

I don't know I don't think I think the people voting in enormous numbers just in the public are more representative of how a show is being received than the how it's being received of course because that number is I mean that's what a rating is But wait, I would argue that even that's not always fair, right?

Sometimes passionate people will brigade a brigade of film that they haven't even seen. You know, that can happen. Views get bombed and stuff. If I held an online poll, you know, about a presidential debate, then people who are passionate about that will just try to make their side win. And it's not always a representative. Maybe. No, definitely.

I feel like that's sometimes overplayed as like an excuse for. bad storytelling. Like they did that with the Lord of the Rings series where they were like, the show itself is awesome. Look, this reviewer we paid says it's great. The only people who hate are the white men who have like decorative Lord of the Rings books on their shelves and like wall art of Lord of the Rings and are obsessed with the Lord. They're the people who hate it. They're brigading. And it's like, well, no, it wasn't a true adaptation. And the hardcore fans said no. I both agree and disagree because the reason that a property like that when it particular gets, let's say,

brigated or raided. So, so hard is. We'll get it. At the end of the episode, we'll all have it down. We'll get it. Or rated. So much is because of the passionate fan base that's built in. Like, those people also have strong opinions

probably about the new Matrix movie, but it's not a part of them. They don't have Matrix books on their shelves. They don't have a Matrix flag in the garage. So when they hear that fucking there's a bad bitch in West in what's it called? Middle Earth now there's a boss bitch in Middle Earth now they're like fuck that what's this thing called again

yeah I'm going to go right I'm going to let everybody know how I feel about this even though I haven't watched it that's where I am too I heard they brought a boss bitch in the middle earth and I was like fuck you I'm not even going to engage I won't even watch the commercials it's always bad to use yourself as an example like with things because I've never once rated or reviewed anything online ever. Like, I'll get an email about something with Amazon and it's like, nah, maybe another time, maybe another life.

I'll watch a movie and be like, that sucked ass. What am I going to Google it? And then go and be like, I wasted one and a half hours. And like, I don't know. The only one I ever cared about was when they made Ariel, the Little Mermaid, Black. Because we connected with that. My wife, not my wife, my daughter was the little mermaid for like, Six Halloweens. It was almost her go-to until Kim Possible is she-

I got the tail I'm impossible yeah there's another one yeah she rocked Kid Possible and uh um but it was like oh and then they like changed her so she's not my daughter anymore I was I hadn't even seen it but I had an opinion that I didn't like you know I didn't like the show because they changed it that's a reasonable reason to dislike it like they take a property that you have strong feelings for memories then they kind of, in an almost aggressive way, are like, we are going to take that thing that's in our shared history and we're going to change it.

Just to get your go. Halloween contests as The Little Mermaid announced that's not what Little Mermaid. She doesn't look like her anymore. My issue with this comes down to like how real it is because in the end, usually when I'm watching a TV or a movie, I want, and I say usually because sometimes fantasy is a different story, but I wanted to be at least grounded in its own rules. and if it's historical at all, I want it to be grounded in our rules and our history.

And I don't mean us as in white people. I mean us as in human fucking beings. So like my girlfriend was watching some period drama the other day. And I walked in and there's all these uppity black folk running around. And I'm just like, what year is this? Because it looks like they should be in chains. This is 1860. What's wrong?

And then she also watches interview with the vampire. Like, I think Anne Rice wrote that. I could be wrong. The interview with the vampire was made into a movie back in the 90s, and it had Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Antonio Benderis, and others that I can't think about the top of my head. It had an amazing cast, but it's about these two white vampires who meet each other.

One of them that runs a slave plantation in New Orleans, or at least in Louisiana. And he's got all these Cajun slaves. And the other is a European vampire, Tom Cruise, who's like visiting the new world and it's a little gay they never like smooch or anything they are very close friends

and like basically Tom Cruise bites Brad Pitt's character they become vampires now they're stuck together and then you get these like hundreds of years of history as he tells his story to a modern day like a journalist the version she's watching everybody's black

it's just a bunch of black vampires now and I'm just like well how do they get around the part where, like, Louis owned a slave plantation. She's like, well, now he's just like a rich guy in Louisiana. Fuck all this. How did you get two episodes in? Why are they all black? Why are they all

black? And why is everyone being nice to them? Well, it's just the exhaust. It only ever goes in one direction. So, like, you can say, like, oh, it's not a white person thing, but it is. Like, it doesn't happen the other way. Yeah, and you don't know it a lot of times. So, like, like, with the properties. Back in the 80s,

it was always the other way. Like, the only role for a black person was like, oh, do you want to be a mugger? Do you want to be a carjacker? Do you want to be? And now white people get all those roles. And black people, like, they just wouldn't ever betray them as a bad person. Yeah, yeah. Black people don't, black people don't shop for security systems anyway. I don't know why you can't just mark it to us. Yeah. Give me an ADT commercial. That reflects my reality. Like, my truth. My truth. Ah, damn, you're right. There are a lot of commercial. I should protect myself from these dangerous

Hasidics. Have you ever been robbed or burglarized in any way? Any of your tools go missing? Anything like that ever? I got pickpocketed at a concert, but that's less invasive than someone coming into your home. Do you have any idea of the person who did it is what I'm getting toward? Because I have been stolen from and it was always whites.

It was always whites. It was always white trash whites that would end up like stealing your gas, your racing fuel gas can that was expensive or or just walking off with your second pair of sunglasses or whatever the fuck some shit that they figured you he's got two it was always white tiny light skin black guy who used the money to buy drugs that's who robbed us story often told they the muggers robbers they do love drugs they love them so much they'll do anything for it they'll rob you for it yeah i think

they started with the love of drugs and and the robbery became more of a hobby after that. Yeah, yeah, I think their true love is always going to be drugs. There's no way from that. That's why you make drugs free and then we don't have all these problems. See, I don't think we all have to do things to support our hobbies. And I would say we should be blowing those boats up is what I'm saying. We should be capturing them and just drugs free. Yeah, drugs should be free and legal and safe. And I think that kind of wrecked the country. Everybody's addicted to the most like, you know that's not true though. You could get fentanyl if you wanted. You know it would feel good. Let me let me ask you this.

Do you think you'd have a great time if you smoke some crack just tonight, just once? No, that seems stressful. No? What are you talking about? It's legal now. There's no repercussions. And it's pure. It's pure. Like a doctor made this crack cocaine. And it's the perfect dose. It's a beginner's dose. You know it would be the greatest experience of your life. What do you know is? I don't think so.

I don't want to like it. I'm willing to go with you, Kyle. Right? Like, I just don't think crack is the fun one. Crack is basically cocaine, right? And cocaine is kind of an upper. It's hitting you different, though. It's like an incredibly euphoric experience, and people describe it as the greatest thing they've ever had. And like, you know, they'll smoke crack and their teens, get off it.

They'll be 60 years old. I'm like, man, I'd love some crack. It's just all I've been thinking about the last 40 years. So I didn't know that. I thought crack would hit much like cocaine and adderol. I didn't realize it was different. So where I was going to go is like, okay, I don't really want cocaine or adderall. That doesn't sound like a great time to me.

Maybe it's a bit of an upper, but whatever. LSD, your positive experiences on that have made me curious. Can I mean? Pretty dope. It has a euphoric effect to it. Like, don't just hype me up, pep me up the way a lot of caffeine would. I want to feel like joy and euphoria and happiness the way that like MDMA or ecstasy had that. or um not ex um the acid the LSD had that effect you know not it was the visual hallucinations

a little bit of like I'm going to hold the handrail when I walk up these stairs not stumbled down drunk but let's be careful kind of mode and then don't go driving and this is no no I wouldn't do that and then this intense euphoria just this this this happiness this joyfulness this exuberance this child like sort of like fun feeling that that you the way you felt when you got to go in the ball pit while your parents ordered food or the way you felt when they were like, ah, yeah, go ahead, one more round

and you got to go do that, like run through the fountains one more time before you left the park. Like that, like a happiness that felt. That sounds dope. I like the journey part of it too. Like LSD untold can do that. You have it. Or, um,

ayahuasca, the whole vomit sickness thing feels, oh, scary to me. That doesn't make fun at all. I don't want to vomit or be sick. Seems like they have better ways to do it. Terrible.

LSD also is less scary. People who take it go on this sort of journey of self-exploration and they see things and come away with new perspectives, even if they're stupid like selling your motorcycles so you don't disturb squirrels. I'm still like interested in it. Like it just sounds like the self-exploration new perspective is appealing. I agree with you. That sounds better than crack.

or meth, because what you'll do on Cracker Meth seemingly is rob a gas station. No, that's when you- Jack, Jack, your numb penis off for seven hours, and then look in a mirror and use your fingernail to pick off perceived imperfections. Hold on, hold on, hold on. I want to hear more about the masturbation. Well, your dick's numb, so you can't come. And so you get all the joy of porn with none of the pleasure. I don't think that's true. Like, like, that one guy had that experience, but we spent, we looked at the meth subreddit once, and it was like, I keep having grand plans and getting high and then I just jack off for 11 hours this is what he's jacking off like he's just he's gooning he's having a good time I think we're conflating some of the like not having

drugs with having drugs like some of the bad sides of meth are not having meth which is you know like a downstream bad thing that's not the good part of having meth we're just talking about the good part yes and that's why if you make it legal safe and there's like a government building you walk in to do your meth everything would be better Because Taylor, like you said, you're not going to go to crack cocaine. You're an upstanding citizen. And that's how 99.9% of the rest of the population feels about crack cocaine as well. The ones who want to do crack cocaine are doing crack cocaine.

Here's my hit back on that. I never smoked pot until it was legal. I was like, yeah, I don't really do drugs. I'm not into it, whatever. And then once it got legalized and normalized and this and that, And now I'm taking a gummy to go sleep half the nights. Yeah. If you legalize crack, crack's pretty extreme.

But, you know, make it something else. I don't think it's not extreme. I bet a lot of people play around with LSD who wouldn't otherwise. I'd be fine with that. Like prohibition, like drinking rates went down significantly during prohibition. So there are lots of people who don't do things. So the death rates from the black market alcohol that people were drinking, tons and tons of people died from. And think about the game.

I just meant as a behavior changer. Okay, well, we're talking about downstream effects as well, though, because we're picking at our skin. Think about the rise of Al Capone, like the American gangster, the rise of power and the FBI and the whittling away of civil liberties can all be traced back to prohibiting alcohol. All of those things happened because alcohol was prohibited. Counterpoint. If we make all this legal, think of how much good media we won't have, right? all these gangster movies were dope. Breaking Bad was amazing, right?

In Kyle's world, none of this stuff exists. Yeah. There's no more criminal. You want drugs to be, well, I mean, that's, technically we could eliminate all criminality right now by making everything legal. Absolutely, you could. But the downstream criminality that stems from the rest of it.

And not only because it's prohibited, but because once we arrest someone for possession or dealing or whatever, or maybe the downstream effects, now they become felons and it's harder for them to climb out of the hole that they've dug. It's this permanent like stain on you where now you can't get gainful employment because if there's a record, this guy smoked crack 15 years ago. Yeah, crack. You heard me right?

Crack. And I think we would all be better off. As a society, if it was just legal, safe, prescribed at a building with doctors looking over you, there wouldn't be street drugs to access. You wouldn't be able to get more of it. Well, they always bleed out onto the street. They bleed out on the streets when you have dispensaries that hand out like bags of marijuana. But I don't think that that's how you would want to distribute a drug like crack cocaine.

I think you would want to go in there and do your crack and leave. The same way they do like methadone clinics or places like that. But you know those areas would become like total disaster shitholes because you'd have a bunch of people on like dangerous drugs wandering around. Can't bring your kids to any area like that. You can't, like, have, I don't have that near a baseball stadium. What makes it dangerous? What makes the drugs dangerous?

Erratic behavior from people who are using dangerous drugs like meth. I know a lot of people who take meth every single day of their lives. It comes a little blue pill. It's called amphetamine salts. I don't see the difference. Okay. Well, then I think you're on an island by yourself because there is a difference, right? Just me and the chemists.

Much, much stronger, much more intra- like instant dose. There's a reason people behave differently on like high doses of methamphetamine than they do. I've seen people snort plenty of Adderall and I feel like it's very similar to people smoking meth. And again, like you would be in a controlled environment getting dosed. How do we control them when they're high for 11 hours after the fact? If it was the same thing. Oh, no, no, the dose would be the controlled part.

Like once you... Oh, that's something addicts are like super okay with listening to the state about the requisite dose. Yeah, they're not going to immediately leave and try and get more. Well, they wouldn't be able to get anymore in my scenario. Because there wouldn't be any on the street. Would there be a market for it? No. There would be no market for additional.

Your idea at building one and my idea at building two, you know, trick them. That would happen. Well, we will have to establish government ID, you liberal fuckers. That's where I won't fucking end up. All right? Free drugs for all, but Jose better get a goddamn ID card. That's all I'm saying. If he wants to vote or smoke crack in my state, you better have an ID. I don't know. Three drugs for all. It doesn't seem like a good long-term, a good long-term civilization strategy. I think we sell them. Like, think about the money we would save. You just do away with all of that drug prevention money. There's hundreds of billions being thrown down the war on drugs.

And all of a sudden, it becomes a revenue source. So not only you're not spending those hundred. And you can, can use those hundreds of billions. Now they're selling drugs. Now they're back to the criminality for the downstream drugs. They're stealing. It's the same problem.

It's just with extra steps. It's the same problem except America makes the money. It's the same problem. We don't even make the money. You could make the money. So you're picturing a guy going with a smile on his face

and going, I'm on the way to work. I'm going to stop by the meth clinic and get my approved state-sponsored dose that some guy who doesn't do meth is paying for. And then that's all, Sorry, nurse. I was already given my meth. You almost gave me a double dose. My goodness. I'm on the way to work now. I need to go make tax dollars to support this program I use daily. Like, that's not what's going to happen. It's going to be a bunch of people who do meth or do drugs. And then they're going to go sit on the street corner until their next dose is approved. And in the meantime, they're going to be trying to elicit black market drugs. I bet the percentage of people who are on one amphetamine or another at work is massive. I think the whole trucking industry runs on it. I think most, to, I think the cooks and the staff behind the scenes are all on meth or of one form or another, for sure. I see no issue, especially with stimulants with legalizing them. And then all of the hallucinogens

like mushrooms and LSD and all that stuff should be just legal and non-punishable along with things like marijuana. And then maybe even powdered cocaine. I don't care. Meth people like lose their minds. They, they can't wrap my head around this. It's like, no, Kyle, they should definitely be illegal. I mean, I still want mushrooms, of course. I want illegal drugs, but I think I should be breaking the law to give them. Well, not all the drugs are the same. Like, legalizing marijuana is, like, so much less harmful than even alcohol, which is, like, such a trite thing to say.

Oh, I'd make alcohol illegal. But the step of, like, well, weed is, like, not that harmful. And people don't tend to, like, rob gas stations when they're high on weed and, like, assault people. Well, I guess, like, meth is a drug. too let's let them do it like it's like no that's like a whole tier difference that's like if you've been to central midwest towns it's a scourge you can see them from across the parking lot that guy's on meth either that or he had a horrible battle with a bunch of hornets

like either he lost a battle to hornets or that guy's on meth and based on how much he's pacing and mumbling i'm gonna bet that it wasn't a hornet fight hey meth or hornets both both it's awful I'm like, I'm like walking by a guy who's asphyxating with a swollen face laying there and I'm like, fucking truck an accident. He actually was done my piece. Are you gaming at all now, Kyle? You're in between games. Art graders came out with a patch today. Not good.

They nerfed some of the movement. The movement in that game was amazing. And I liked it because if you spent some time practicing or you played games a lot, you could have an advantage over the more casual players. And I guess Arc Raiders just seems to fundamentally be not about that. They do like the cheapest guns to run, this is in-game money, are sometimes better than the expensive guns. And I felt like that was an intentional design decision so that, you know, in this game they call it the single dads, right? you're working all day, you come home, you take care of the kids, then you hop on the game after they're in bed at like 10 p.m. And they want that guy not to get destroyed by me and my professional

gamer friends. Look, the crowd I rolled with last night was freaking amazing. This is a real conversation that happened. Hey, Click, have you ever played Fortnite? Yeah. Actually, I was in the World Cup. Fuck. So, yeah, I was Peter Griffin. Remember? Right, right. So these guys are just so amazingly good and they're trying to sort of level the

playing field between guys with that level of talent, the shrouds of the world and and the single dads. And they nerfed movement. Sliding. It's no longer really efficient way to save stamina. There used to be this thing where you could like, I mean, Imagine you're through the doorway. I could slide in.

I'd hit you with my shotgun and then I'd roll out. And the rolling has, I think, some eye frames that go with it. And you'd, like, not even know what hit you. And the damage I would do with a shotgun from up close was tremendous. It doesn't work anymore. They just nerfed, like, the hard to do things. Do you use the bombs that have the trigger, the remote? Oh, not very much.

Those were my go-to. Yeah, the trigger nades. They're very good. I'd bring, like, four, five of those. and I just start spam, spam, spam, now there's four in the room with you. And it's like, really effective. It's super effective, no doubt about it. It's not my favorite way to fight.

I like to use the bullets. Fair, fair. I like to be cheap as possible in games, if I'm being honest. I like to get a rise out of people if I can. So like a Kimbo shotguns, if I can find a version of that in your game, I like cheesing people. Even in RTS, I like cheesing people. because it would be easier for me to beat you straight up and just bring a well-balanced army

that can respond to multiple types of threats because I don't know what you're bringing but if I could just bring like eight bronosauruses like I'd love to cheese you that way that would be more fun for me well I'm no angel I mean I guess my version of teasing is to surround myself with professional gamers

and running that's your honor guard that's how it works in Warhammer when the boss shows up he's got like the five baddest motherfuckers in the galaxy surrounding him at all times you're kind of like the

Pope of sorts like your own Swiss guard they'll throw themselves in front of your armor proofed car best modern old time of uniforms in practice nobody has a better uniform than the Swiss guard they look good they look

no one's ever ripped on the Vatican for style they know it looks pretty nice based on the pictures I've seen. If anything, like, I would, I'd be, like, wondering, walking around there, like, what, what is that worth? Like, if, if the Vatican week fell on hard times and they were like, we need to sell this, like, what could they get for some of these paintings? They're probably priceless. That's the Swiss Guard. Yeah, that looks cool. Apparently, it's incredibly. Yeah, the Halberg.

Here's why I think that's great. So they're a city defense force. They're never going to be out, like, battling, obviously in modern days, but even old-timey days. But even old-timey days. You know, they weren't going to leave the walls of the fucking Vatican or whatever. So in an emergency, you can very quickly determine friend from foe, which is something I always wonder about with medieval hack and slash battles. It's like, fuck, I stabbed Taylor. I'm telling everybody that. Like, you know that happened where you were just hacking and slashing and like you cut your, oh, your buddy's like, oh, why was that? And you're like, they got Dave.

All that uniform is missing is a flower that squirts water and a. a rubber nose. Maybe some oversized shoes. I like it. I know friend from foe. And if I, if like some bad stuff crops up and I need a member of a Swiss guard, I can scan the crowd real quick and I can see, oh, there he is and I can sprint

toward him or I can signal him or yell at him. Help. Like, I love a uniform that stands out. Cops should wear something like this. They should be walking around looking like Punisher. Look at them. I like that. Can you put that back up? A little more, a little more pizzazz for the cops. Make him stand out. A little flair.

Waiting. Maybe he can't put it back. There we go. Look at this guy. He's like from the left. Let me see, glass. Short guy. Two to his right. Yeah. Yeah. You're going to run to him in the back row, bro. Now he runs to you for help. Yeah. I could. Well, he's not with that weapon.

Like, I don't want to tangle with that weapon. I will say that. Like, look at that thing. I feel... No. That fat boy would murder me with that weapon. Like, if we're being real, if he has... Unless he's crippled or something, that thing looks formidable. I don't even know what that is.

I don't even know what that is. I don't know the pokey side on the... The halberd? It's some kind of, you know, it's got the pokey long lance thing on top, but it's also got the hooks for like pulling away shields or pulling down riders and also just piercing armor. Like, I don't want to tangle with this guy. They're halberdeers. That's a cool type of ancient dude to be.

You out rank the spearman. Look at that guy on the left with his standard spear, gay, lame, pathetic. He hasn't even earned his halberd yet. I would rather have his lance than the thing that everybody else has, though. No, because it would be, it's easier to stop a charging animal when there's that extra stuff. I'm not anticipating cavalry in this battle. oh look at it

they're just boys they look more in the back anyway it's yeah well they hire them I read into this a while ago they like hire pretty much all of them at like 19

and then you're allowed to be in the Swiss Guard until 30 and then you like rank up if you're really good at it as like some higher ranking guy within the Swiss guard

and they I think it's hard to become one if you're really look at those guys does that mean you make everyone laugh if you're like I don't know what if you stand there so still like so still

and so strong if you could juggle five balls you've got a career in this I think they have like some some fruit picking these guys out you can tell there's not an ugly kid mixed in the group like if we're being real like you think they'd pick an ugly kid just ruin the whole picture with the uniforms

well I think just some fruit is picking like it's Sweden right this is their version of ugly no no no no no Switzerland, it's called the Swiss. You're trying to convince me that Switzerland and Sweden are different. I'm not buying it. They're so different. Not even multiple countries.

Not only that. Most of the letters are the same. Actually, see, that guy, that guy stuck with this long enough. The Swiss guard is neither from Sweden nor Switzerland. No. That's the cherry on top. Oh, it's from the Vatican? Yeah, yeah.

These are the Pope's personal guard or his personal, like, mini army or whatever. I think that fruitcake wearing red there was banging all these boys. This is just somebody's like cosplay for their altar boys is all this shit is. Look at those collars. Where do they come from? That guy's outfit is sick. Definitely from like rich people. Like these aren't like kids off the street.

Well, they. No. I don't remember all the requirements. It's hard to do it. You have to like study a lot of stuff about Catholic Church. Yeah, it's like Eagle Scout stuff. And then they, if you're, if you stink, they boot you out and they're like, hey, someone else wants to be Swiss guard and dressed like a fucking court jester, which is a, like, if you just put

like a thumb over the helmet part, I see exactly what you're saying about the court jester thing, but the helmet really brings up. The helmet really does a lot of heavy lifting here. The helmet. If you put your thumb on the bottom car, they cosplay as peacocks or something. Oh, I like the big, colorful. I mean, I'm all, I'm amused by it. I don't think I dislike it.

Oh, I think it's cool. I think I like those like ancient soldiers who would do that with like the feathers and like they showed rank with it. The Romans did. And then that carried itself through like medieval history. They would have different colors, banners, sigils, seals, all sorts of things to identify friend from foe different like colors. Like you're a sports team. It's, it's kind of cool. I like the subtlety. I think from 40 yards away, you shouldn't be able to tell who's in charge for snipers. Oh, I think these were big enough conflicts there. I bet there were. different. I bet it wasn't like the British and revolutionary times where they're like, what are we doing fighting in the woods? Get your finest red cloak. I bet they kind of had a little bit of

prep. Sometimes in video games like the starter skin and the you're a fucking badass skin is like there's a necklace on the second one. And I'm like, yeah, those who know no. I like that. I know I'm hardcore.

I don't have to put on the whole thing. Go ahead. Sorry, I was going to say, sorry, they wrecked our creators. Maybe they'll revisit it. We'll play one day. Blueprints are so much more common. Kyle, have you ever gotten two blueprints in one run?

I think so, but they would be little blueprints, you know? Like, I didn't get two, like, good ones that, like, I would get three times a day, and once I got six. Oh, okay. Blueprints are so much more common than they used to be. Well, did a lot of people do the wipe thing? It's the 22nd.

Oh. Well, then that kind of, you know, Tarkov does that sort of thing toward the end of a wipe where they make everything more plentiful. And so it becomes like kind of a shit show there at the end where everybody's bringing their best gear. And they turn up the loot and turn up the bosses and kind of the making game a little wilder. But the wipe is optional. So you give all your blueprints to your friend, wipe, and then take them back and say thank you. Yeah, that's definitely like the smart way to do it. And I'm sure you guys are prepared to do that, but I would never do that. Thanks, Austin. Yeah, I prefer a wipe that gets everybody that the wipe and rust was the first time I'd ever experienced that. And at first, it's like, but we earned all this. We should get to keep it. But then you realize like, yeah, but we get to do that rut, that rush through the like pottery and clay phase again. We get to go bows and arrows with the not with like all this knowledge we've acquired again and again and again. And I really like any. game that has a wipe like that. So I agree. If you look at it through the lens of the developers targeting a game that's friendly for that single dad who doesn't have the time that you and I do, then you can see why

they make a wipe optional. Yeah, it's a more casual game. And that makes it, that's why it's so popular because there are way more casuals than there are hardcores. And there's plenty of games for hardcores. So I think it's a good thing all around. It kind of sucks that you lose your like shotgun. rolling technique though i'm i'm sure that that's annoying yeah there should like don't make it so casual

that you remove the like movement skill and such the people do what if they randomized aiming so that everyone had a fair shot like fuck you you know like it's battlefield's aim cone is so frustrating like the the precision feature where like the longer you hold the trigger down the basically it's invisible but there's a kind of like an arc how you got that expanding cone of fire like you'll be just stop hard scoping sort of no it's it's on machine guns it's on every weapon in the game virtually so you have to fire in these very short controlled burst not just because of recoil which you can easily counter especially on PC but just to prevent the aim cone from getting too big so you have to bubba bubba bubup but bubba bub up because because at max spread you got your you'll have the red dot on the guy and it's it's like hitting him like a sewing machine you know it visually but the bullets are dancing all around him. I didn't like that.

This game does that too, except just like you said, you hold down the trigger and it gets bigger, but that is a difference. It shows you exactly what the cone is. They call the dispersion. Yes, and I like that a lot. As soon as I saw that in Arc,

I was like, ooh, I really like this feature. This is great. And it's another one of the things that makes the game more accessible to the average joke, because Rust it, I don't know what Rust is like exactly now, but it used to be that the best players, they could beam you across the map

controlling an AK recoil that you or I, if we tried to control, like, yeah, I can kill somebody if they're in the same room with me, Full Auto. Like, it's so hard to control, but you'd see the best people controlling it, and there's all sorts of mini games and an alternate service where you would go,

and they would give you, like, to the decimal point, how good your recoil control is, like how perfectly you drew the imaginary line of recoil. It would even give you a visual representation of how to move your mouse and control it and hours and hundreds of hours of practice. Those guys just, it doesn't, it feels like cheating because they're, they're shooting with a full auto gun across the map because they can control it that well.

So I get the, I get why you want it the other way. I just started aim trainers, kind of new. I've done it before a long time ago. First try I was average. I was 50%. And then by my second try, I was top 25%. Some YouTubers said that if you can get to top 5%, then it's almost not worth

getting to the top 1% unless it's your goal but you'd be better off taking your top 5% aim and just getting better at the game the movement the strategies the traffic patterns so that's I guess what I'd like to do

you become a top 5%er have you ever seen Shroud do aim laps I have seen great players do it not Shroud here's Shroud doing a little aim laps it's just it looks like he's in the matrix He's so fast.

It's just click, click, click, clap, click, click, click, click. So he's setting up. I'm going to skip to when it starts. If you go to like six minutes flat, like, good God. Yeah. Good God. He's very good. That's what you get.

It's a lot better than this, though. That's what happens when your dad builds a land center in your basement when you're a little kid instead of telling you video games never lead to anything It looks like Trump's dad was right dad If you want to be a streamer now I wonder if games are not even the ticket

A very crowded arena And also Shit falls off fast right Like people like watching you play X And four months later they want to see why so they go somewhere else that's a short career uh on the other hand maybe it makes more sense to try to be like that ice beside or that ice i i shows ice speed it's not worth your soul and safety like like like those are guys would hate doing live live streaming in

public like so much of it just to see seems to be like bothering people well even if it's not those people say are are in danger all the time yeah like there's there's always some going up and just assaulting them or throwing piss on them or something like that like like something horrible it takes creativity to do that and not be like taylor said and just bother someone like i show speed i think is his name i don't think he bothers people i think he's generally beloved everywhere he goes people are excited to be around him but you don't start by just hanging out with professional athletes and such um i don't know how you get started well i think he was just doing running stuff. Like his thing was always about

running. It wasn't like he was walking down the street like drinking cappuccino. He's one of the fastest people in the world. That's his whole thing. His people will challenge him to these foot races and he's incredibly fast. I show speed. I should. Yeah, I hear you. Somebody told me that

he was really, really fast, but not like elite. So I just took that to be fact, but I don't know of the facts. I've seen like prosy racing. Like like cornerbacks? He smoked Woody's Gamer Teg. I'll see people that think they're fast, challenge him, and then him race.

But nowadays, when I see him, it's like an event where he's going. Like, they know he's coming. He has a security team. You know, there's, and his streaming numbers are insanity. And he goes all over the world. Like, he's going to, like, all sorts of, all over Europe. And I think I've seen him in, like, shitty countries, too. He seems like a good.

I've only seen a tiny bit. as content, but it's always been positive. When's the last time you ran full speed? Because I did it like two days ago. I run with my dogs and like, but it's, but not you know, I'm in the yard so I

don't have that full on like 100 yard dash in a straight line. I guess maybe three or four years ago. Two days ago. I was trying to teach my dog to come. So I tell him to come and he doesn't. So I walk out there to get the dog and then he runs back to where i'm going and for i the trainer said

what you do is you like catch the dog you bring them to where you wanted them to go and then you make him sit there for like five or ten seconds like when i say come you do this so the dog is running from me and i'm chasing the dog and i'm like pumping by i'm tom cruising it i'm like i'm so happy i'm not falling i haven't done this for so long we're a little high on your own supply you're like Look at this guy. I can hear the way. Jackie, get out here. She saw me right again.

And she's like, not getting the other one. I'm like, no. Drainter said only for one. I was tired fast. Those like post run like big gulps. I don't watch our dogs.

really closely. I let them outside. They're there to do their business, whatever, and I just keep a loose eye on them. Thankfully, I was watching them like a hawk when one fell into the pool. It is like 18 degrees outside and she falls into the pool. And it wasn't that dramatic really. Like I saw that she didn't instantly drown and she was coming to me and I pulled her out and we dried her off and stuff. But Jackie was like, thank goodness it was you. I couldn't lift that dog out of the pool and

they're just the clumsiest fucking animals I've ever owned. They're so ridiculous. I've told you before and it's still true. If you drop my dog from like four inches, they're like what the fuck, dude? I could have died. They fall like

the family guy characters like with all their legs. Like a dense dog. They're like 45, 50 pounds now. They can barely walk downstairs. They can barely climb off a couch. They get stuck. If the Ottoman is pushed against the couch,

they're like, I'm going to need a hand here. I can't get out. Like, how are you so unathletic? But there they are. They're adorable. They cuddle.

You know, we're supposed to train them, right? I try to train him to come, sit. We're training him on the electric fence. None of that stuff sticks. Because what we really do is train him out of snuggle. We drill that. it in all the time. That's important.

There's snugly dogs. I've got the fireplace on in the living room. And then I have an electric blanket that I like toss over my knees like like like FDR. And the dogs, the dogs love that thing. I call it incubating. I'm like, oh, I'm incubating little Murphy. He's going to hatch out. Look at him.

He's just like, eh. That's a great idea. They fucking love electric. Electric blanks are $20. They love them so much. Like, it's their favorite thing in the world. Just put that thing on like a low setting so you don't have to worry about it. Although, like, Toby will lay on the thing when it's on like seven or eight.

I keep the house crazy cold, especially the bedroom. And I'll be like, dude, that's so hot. Aren't you hot? And he looks at me like, yeah, yeah, really hot. It's great. Like, they love those electric blankets. This is my favorite part of winter. I keep the, the heat in the house is,

turned down to like 58 or something so that if they get 50 yeah yeah yeah the bedroom is 58 degrees at night it's like um like what a mortuary is kept at like yeah it's like outside it's 15 degrees and like in my bedroom it 58 60 degrees but we've got our electric comforter and you know my girlfriend are snuggling and then we've got three fucking dogs that snuggle with us too so if anything it gets hot at night like I have to like throw the covers off like half my body and cool off sometimes. I do that most nights anyway. I need to fall asleep at the blanket, but in the middle of the night I have to throw it off.

Or some of it. It's a radiator. My leg is a radiator. Everyone knows how radiating works. Basically, you pump water coolant through the engine and then it runs out through the radiator with all these fans where it blows off and gets cooled. That's what my leg does. I pump the blood into the leg where it gets cooled off and then it returns.

That's the idea. That's what long more cows do. that's exactly what I that's how I think about it too when I like have both my legs out I'm like this is science I'll soon be comfortable like I've got one of the it looks like the the inner part of a football helmet like that soft squishy part but it's full of gel and you put it in the freezer and then you you wear it on your head for headaches and it's the best thing ever because headaches are caused by like in flesh blood vessels in your head, putting pressure on your brain. So, like, you put on this gel cap that just cools your skull down. It's wonderful. I love it so much. I love imagining you at, like, 1 p.m. on a Tuesday.

You've got your ice cold, you know, tarred helmet on. You got your meth. And you're on the phone with DoorDash as Ling Ping being like, yeah, they bring wrong chicken. You're like, good boy, Murph. Yeah, that's what I said. You bring wrong food. That's not far from the truth.

I've been cooking a ton. If I do DoorDash, it's for groceries. I've been buying groceries. My credit card reward thing makes it like the way to go right now with DoorDash. But anyway, I'm going to do a trust-up chicken tonight. So I'm going to take a whole chicken and stuff it with like onions and garlic and a lemon and shit. And then you trust it up. You basically like tie the thing up bondage style.

But then I'm going to dangle it from the top of the oven. Like, I'm going to tie it to the highest oven rack with Butcher's Twine. And then on the bottom rack, I have a pan that I have golden potatoes and like onions in and a little bit of chicken broth. And so the drippings are going to fall onto those potatoes and they're going to cook in like chicken broth and chicken fat and basically make fondant potatoes out of chicken fat. So I'm looking forward to that. That sounds awesome. It sounds really good. I saw someone do it online.

I was about to buy a shwarma machine, which is like a vertical spinning power. Yeah, no, the big tower were the spinning thing you see in Greek restaurants where you put a whole leg of lamb on it and it rotisseries it. And then that led me to those old Tommy Ronco chicken rotisserie machines like from QVC. And then that led me to just using my oven. So that's happening either tonight or tomorrow. I've got the chicken. How long does it take? I think it was like an hour.

per pound or something so you just get like a three pound chicken oh four pound chicken something like that roughly i don't know i'll consult my manual you're gonna be having a late dinner i usually eat it like 10 11 or something like that oh well then i guess for you it's a very much on time dinner since it's seven your time yeah i haven't eaten today my sleep schedule's not no not today my sleep schedule is a little wonky right now i didn't get out of bed until like 11 AM or something, which is kind of late. It's late, but not super wonky by gamer standards. Yeah.

I know you're not doing me right now, but work with them. I'm reading these books into like, until like five in the morning. I've got my, my audio book on, and I'm in the living room by myself while my girlfriend's asleep, like, just listening to Warhammer novels. I kind of caught that bug after watching those game trailers the other day. That's going to be a cool game. I'm going to give that RTS a go, the Warhammer RTS. I don't want to try.

Yeah, for sure. That and whenever it comes out, Divinity, that was the trailer where that guy's burning alive. That looked photorealistic and was upsetting. That made me less interested. I'm like, show me real gameplay. Real gameplay. Well, it's hilarious.

So it's a Larian Studios game. Divinity is a universe they've explored before. So it's a lot of deep, like, medieval fantasy lore with gods and goddesses and evil and shit. And they make Baldersgate 3, which was like, the bees knees and this is supposed to be their biggest RPG yet it's going to be another c r pg i think where you got the top down sort of you and move your characters and parties and stuff like that um i'm imagining it very similar to bouldersgate three um so i i i trust tells me the trailer looks nothing like the game it was just something to peak your interest

well i've seen the bouldersgate three trailers and then the balder's three gameplay and they're pretty close like it's it's not like you know misleading or anything That trailer looked incredible. That looked wild. It did look wild, yeah. Yeah, I'm watching it. It looks pretty cool. I feel bad for this guy all chained up with his crown.

Yeah, yeah. Well, it turned out he was a bad guy, I'm pretty sure, because that evil shot out of him. That's a signal to me that maybe he needed a good burning. Spoilers for the trailer. I'm only a minute in. So far, it seems like he's the guy being victimized. But maybe if there's a demon that comes out of him at the end, I would have a- The cute girl, the cute girl there with the child, that's Mila Yovovic.

Who's that? The actress who plays in Resident Evil movies? I haven't seen those. The actress who's in The Fifth Element. I haven't seen that. Well, it can only go so far. Keep going. How many, how many, do you know other movies with her? She's a, like, medium, she's like a B-tier Russian actress whose husband is a director-producer, so that's the source of a lot of her roles.

kind of like a Kate Beckinsale situation I think so no I don't know too many more of her movies she's great in Fifth Element and if you like Resident Evil movies she's the main character I know this chick's face but that's about it I watched a ton of the trailers I didn't see a lot of stuff that I was

interested in the the two Warhammer games that are coming out obviously but I don't like hit man divinity for sure like that one caught my eye and then I saw a few souls like games which aren't my cup of tea but their trailers are always fantastic and I'm like I don't think I got by me somehow

I don't know I don't remember what it was called but it was and then I saw like a dungeon crawling hack and slash game that was semi souls like that that looked interesting that was like an F first person like hack and slash there was like skeletons and zombies and stuff

but I could tell there was like dodging mechanics and rolling mechanics that seemed integral but I didn't really see any other trailers that I was into yeah I'm just waiting for the RTS one like I'm those come out so rarely

and you know I'm not stoked on how they're organizing the economy that banner lord's game looks good it's an older buddies who were into that for a while it's an older game I don't know when it came out it may be still in development or something like that

but it looks pretty cool the one with like real like third person or maybe you can also do first person sword fighting all that like the it's like the parrying like you're playing a Dark Souls game but it's PVP and there's just enormous armies like huge cavalry recharges and stuff

looks like a lot of characters on screen I don't know to be top down I want to control the whole army I think you go back and forth maybe and do so I really don't I really don't know though I haven't I've only watched like a couple videos of it on YouTube and that kingdom come deliverance game I never played that because I was so into Baldur's Gate at the time But that's an RPG that is super beloved. So I think I'm going to go back and play that at some time. Yeah, I'm also going through just kind of not gaming at all phase.

Get into my novels. Get into the novels. Get into the Warhammer 40K novels. What are you doing while you listen to it? Are you just sitting there listening or like are you doing something else? Because I couldn't just sit there and listen to an audio book and tune out. Like if I'm going to focus fully on it, I would have to. to be, I'd have to be reading. Like I'd have to be occupied. So sometimes I'm just sitting there

doing absolutely nothing at all in a kind of a dark room and I'll even close my eye. Like if it gets complex, like if we're in a room and there's eight guys fighting eight other guys while the room falls apart, I might close my eyes so I can visualize this, all this shit that's being explained that's really complicated. And he pivoted on his left heel to the right. And I'm like, okay, okay, I'm seeing it. But if they're just a sort of broad stroke, folks, like if it's a conversation between two characters about the planet we're about to fucking go to and how the orks have taken it over or whatever, then what I do is I have YouTube on with car chase is on mute.

Because you don't need audio for those at all. And you can kind of glance up every now and then it'd be really entertained by it. You're like, oh shit, they got him. And if I have to go back 30 seconds in my book, I will. But that's always there as a little visual entertainment. Are you ever like, hold on, Warhammer can wait. I need to hear what this guy said. Yeah.

Oh, they're shooting him a lot. Hang on. What did he do? And then football, too. I watch football games on mute and just kind of glance up every now and then. I did that last night on watching Aaron Rogers. I don't know how old that guy is. He had a broken left arm.

It's broken in three places. He broke it three weeks ago. And he just beat the shit out of the dolphins last night. Dolphins quarterback used to be Alabama's quarterback. So I have this innate hatred. I hate watch his career. He is leading to Tua. Aaron Roder's 42 years old.

Tua is like, I'm going to call him 25 years old in the prime of his life. And leading the NFL this year in interceptions. Oh. Is he still leading the NFL in like instances of getting hit so hard you do the emperor hands? Because it feels like he was hitting one of those a year where he was like, you underestimate my power.

I don't know how many times you've been sacked, but I would warn it's a lot because the dolphins really stink this year. That's not on him then. Poor guy. That must not be fun at all. Yeah. I mean, they went on a, like a four or five. They won like five out of six or something, four in a row or something.

But then Aaron Rogers at 42 came in last night and just stomped a mud hole in their ass. I don't remember what the score was about 28 to 6, 20 to not. Moderator quarterbacks. NC State. Philip Rivers came back into the NFL at 45 years old. That's your guy? Yeah. He's a 44-year-old grandfather.

Dude, he has 10 kids. They brought him out of retirement after five years. Like, that's like a movie story. Like, how could they, how is NFL quarterback development so bad that they have this glut of guys and they're like, actually our safest option is this guy who's like gotten really into pickleball in the past half deck? Kate. I guess I guess he's the best. He's still 6-8

and has giant football throwing hands. Oh, the Colts have had three guys go down, says Zach. But there's guys like Cam Newton out there who are just doing podcasts who have only been out of the game for a few years. There's even guys like Kaepernick who have only been out of the league for nine years, but they're

still way younger than 44. But Philip Rivers had been out for five years. Five years is the minimum requirement before you're considered for the Hall of Fame. He was on the ballot for the Hall of Fame last year. But now he has reset the clock on that. So it's five years from when you last retire. So he's never getting into the Hall of Fame. But he's starting next week too. He's starting next week too. He threw a touchdown. He was leading with maybe two or three minutes

to go on the fourth. And, you know, the cults are shit. But he did his part well enough, way well enough for 44. It was pretty impressive. When did Brady retire? How old was he, he was like 44 when he retired in his mid-40s? I don't remember how he was during that last Super Bowl season, but I'm below 44. Yeah, maybe. It seems ancient to be a quarterback.

Like, you get sacked once horribly, and it's like, the game is so soft, though, like, I don't. So they protect the quarterback so much now. The game is different. I was thinking about that last night, how a 44-year-old quarterback today,

it hasn't taken nearly as many hits, a 44-year-old quarterback 30 years ago. And that's going to keep going. So I think you're going to continue to have guys play well into their 40s. And they'll be a 50-year-old quarterback at some point because they don't hit these guys anymore. Like, if you do anything other than just soft hands, pull him down and then roll him on top of your body for safety, you're getting a penalty. Yeah. I have seen Patrick Mahomes doing some like self-induced rag doll physics.

Yeah. Like someone will hit him. And then it's like, well, that guy does. didn't make you leap off your left foot there into a somersault it seems like he's kind of playing it up. I did see like fans of other teams. This was like weeks ago, mad.

They're like, this is like that shit Mahomes does. Look at all the times he like pretends like he's slowing down to run out of bounds and then immediately cuts back and keeps running up to take advantage of the defender's goodwill. And it's like yeah, that seems like a rules problem. More than a- Oh, they did put a rule in for

fake sliding. So there wasn't a rule against fake sliding. I can't remember the guy who did it but it's a great clip he's i've seen the qb takes off he makes it maybe eight yards and he sort of does it looks like a like he's in motion but he does kind of like half a curtsey and everybody's like oh back off and then he's like dunna no no no no no nope and turns it up field and go so he does like a half lunge and it's like oh yeah yeah they've changed the rules oh the one i saw he wasn't fake sliding he like did that thing quarterbacks do or they like almost slow down as they're leaving out of bounds and then

he just like kind of fibbed and then just turned right back up field and started sprinting got a few more homes um it was statistically they needed to win the game to remain in the hunt for the wildcar position a loss

completely locks them out they're moving down the field with two minutes to go and they're down by like i don't remember three four a touchdown will get us the win basically i think and he blew his ACL out and then they bring the backup quarterback in

and he throws an interception and it's like and that's the season if there was ever a year for him to blow his ACL it's this one like they weren't going anywhere anyway. That's true. Travis Kelsey's 61 like he just can't

really yeah he's 34 or 36 it's one of the other. It ain't 35. It ain't 36. You were right. Well, either way, that's old as fuck for a professional athlete. Yeah, you would imagine this is his last year now that he's going to be a billionaire anyway.

Oh, yeah. He took for getting married. Imagine bringing like $76 million into the relationship and feeling like you're not helping. 1.67 billion, and he's the seven. Yeah. That's accurate. That's the number. Oh, I thought he would have more than that.

I thought those NFL contracts were like $150 million or something. Like huge. But who knows? Why about them, right? Like, oh, he just signed a $100 million contract, of which he'll collect $30 million. Oh, I forget other sports don't do it like the NHL. If you sign a $120 million contract in the NHL, you are guaranteed $120 million. If it's only guaranteed if it's called guaranteed money.

So that'll be part of the contract. the contract will be multi-tiered and very complex and it'll depend on performance a lot of the times and there'll be tons of performance bonuses but in the end there's there's going to be money and guaranteed money and you hear stories about guys who get drafted you know one two three and they get these 50 60 70 guaranteed millions of dollars and the teams are still paying them and they're retired they played they played six games they were terrible got cut went to another team and then retired and now they're just still making their $70 million. Basketball is more like hockey in that those contract sizes are real, but they're also not

as big. Football, unless it's changed, I don't know, the current collective bargaining agreement, but it was that like you'd sign a $100 million contract. Year one, you make a million. Your two, you make $2 million. Three, three million. Year four, you make the other, what is that, $96 million? Guess which year you get cut before?

You know, like it's a bullshit contract. you never get there. The way the NHL does it. And the Minnesota, Middies Minnesota Wild has like the worst contract structure in history. They gave two guys, Zach Perice and who was the other guy? Ryan Suter, 13 year contracts for like a fuck ton of money in 2012. Like the last year you were allowed to give contracts that long in the NHL. Like we can lock these guys up.

In 2021, they bought them both out. So nine years into the 13 year contract. and because of the way the NHL has it structured, they're like, all right, you can buy it out, but you now have them on payroll until 2030 for half of it. Like, you're still going to have to pay them every year. It's just only only, no, no, they're bought out. They just have to pay them all the money that's due,

and the way it's structured is like, it will be almost 20 years, more time spent paying them not to play. I like when people bet on themselves. Like, whenever I hear about a hundred, Hollywood star who couldn't get a movie produced, and they were like, all right, well, then don't pay me and give me 4% of the back in, and I'll put up $100 million. And the studio's like, okay, and then the guy ends up making half a billion dollars or

something. Like, I know when Schwarzenegger wanted to make twins, like, he'd never done comedy. And so this idea of him and Danny DeVito being fucking long-lost twins and tooling around L.A. with a bunch of loose women, they were like, no, you cannot have $40 million. And I was like, all right, well, I'll pay. for it. But we get to keep like, it was huge. Like, he gets, he got 25% of the profits of that movie. And DeVito might have gotten like 10 or 22. That movie made hundreds of millions of dollars of 1990s money. That's awesome. Schwarzenegger is such a shrewd business man. He was

already a millionaire from real estate and, um, and selling workout equipment via magazines and stuff. Like before the Terminator and all that, before Conan, he was already a millionaire, immigrant who barely spoke English. That guy was just always going to be a winner. Yeah. I like that when people bet on themselves too. I feel like Mel Gibson did that with one of his movies. I don't remember which one.

But it seems like something that you remember because it's the good guys that do it. People don't remember the guys who don't themselves. Well, you remember the ones who didn't do it. Sean Connery was offered an enormous slice of the back end of Lord of the Rings to be Gandalf. I don't get this story. So I'm some sort of homosexual. It was like 10 or 20% Like it wasn't like 0.01%

Which would have been million still It would have made nine figures off that It was huge It was an it would I mean you know He died Thank God Sean Connery said no And Ian McKellen said yes

Thank God Yeah Oh I can't imagine I can't imagine I can't imagine Careful Pip What is like Oh you think that's just the end

No That's not the end white shores long as actually you're kind of selling me on it I'm picturing him in the wig with the goatee leaning on that staff looking out the window and you can see Mordor's volcano

in the far distance and he's like oh no white shores I could get Ian McKillan killed it but I could I like Connery especially old Connery well Peter Jackson and I disagree

the most is I insisted on a scene when I get to hit Ewing am I to be sick with the women and the children Stupid bitch God I don't have enough problems

All right I think it's dinner time Yeah yeah Yeah All right PKN 591