Painkiller Already - PKN 592

Episode Date: December 23, 2025

P.K.N. 592. What's up, boys? How's it going? Very Christmas, all. Going all right. Kyle, we've got to talk about it. We've got to thousands of texts. I've never been, I've never been, I don't remember the last time I was angier than this morning.

I'm so loved. I just needed, I needed somebody to fight. I really did. I don't care if they beat me up. Like, I just needed somebody. knock on the door and be like, you want to go? And I would have jumped from the top step on top of them. Like, I don't care if they wop my ass. I needed somebody to fight last night, like at 4 at 5 in the morning. So my girlfriend gave me my Trigger Smoker Grill for Christmas. Beautiful thing.

We assembled it together in the living room, no big deal. And I threw some ribs on there. They take forever, of course. So like I put a minute at 5, 530 p.m. knowing that these are one in the morning ribs. I don't care. I won't, I haven't eaten today. either. Like I didn't eat breakfast, didn't eat lunch. And I'm like, shit, I can go to one in the morning. It'll be delicious. I'll have a whole rack of ribs and I'll make a couple sides. And I'll probably wake her up at two in the morning and be like, hey, baby, you want a rib? Yeah. She'll want a rib. And so things just went wrong. You know, I followed the instructions, but the thing didn't seem to be getting as hot as it said it was. And my Wi-Fi digital,

like, meat thermometer, it goes in the meat and then it goes in the oven or cooking things. whatever in the smoker it died it breaks not just dead batters it breaks on me it's defective i guess i'm having to get so that already ticked me off and i think the read out on the grill is wrong it says we're at 200 degrees but i feel like maybe we're at 120 or something it feels cool in there almost it doesn't feel burning hot like we're cooking and hours and hours go by and i hit that and the thing just wasn't heating up and by the end i cooked it for for 11 hours before I took it out

and threw it away. Almost double what like if it's cooking at the right temperature. Yeah. I took it out and threw it away and I'm just looking around for somebody to yell at.

But there's nobody to be mad at. There's no, no one has done anything wrong, but I'm feeling the dogs. The smoke has burned my eyes out of my fucking head. Like, because I've been,

because I've been working on this shit all night. You should cook outdoors. I should have, but I thought, I thought it was one of those indoor smokers. He's standing in his living here. I don't know. I don't see what Taylor sees in this. You know, I mean, it was a little smoky at first, but I came back and I'll, I will say, when I first fired up.

Yeah, my girlfriend's in a really deep sleep. He's not even moving. Oh, five, then don't have a rib. So my eyes are burned out of my head, and I haven't eaten in, at this point, 36 hours. Good, darling. Okay. And my Christmas gift has failed me, and I have spent all this, wasted all this time, and the, you know, the $20 worth of ribs are getting thrown away. And I'm just so angry. And I go to bed. And when I get in bed, I'm hoping that she'll be like, how did it go, baby? So I can just unload, but she doesn't say anything. And so we go to, I go to sleep and she gets up for work at like 8 a.m. or 9 a.m. or something. I've had three hours of sleep. She's like, how did it go? And I was. I was too shitty. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was like, that fucking grill you got.

Oh, no. That fucking, that fucking discontinued fucking grill, uh, fucking just wasted my time and ruined everything. And I was, I was, I was like, get your money back. I was like, send it back. I don't want, I don't fucking want it. It's broken. It doesn't work right.

It shouldn't be rocket science. We're making ribs. I, like, I followed a recipe to the fucking, like, so carefully to the minute. thermometer's up my ass, and this thing is ruined. I'm like, send it back. And she's like, okay. And so she contacts Amazon. She's like, sending it back. And they're like,

okay, here's your money back. But just keep it. We don't want it that. It doesn't do that shit for me anymore. We don't want it back, they say. And here's what I realized. Here's what I realized. And this is, uh, this is a quick tip for y'all and everybody

listening. This is, this is going to be the best tip I've ever given you. Well beyond my, my, my pornography subreddits, the Trigger 575, which is a very good smoker, is being discontinued and rebranded, essentially. It's not like they came up with new smoking technology. This is like the oldest way to cook that mankind has. So like they just, now they're calling it the ridgeline or something like that, and it's a different color. But they're getting rid of all the 575s, so they don't want them back. Not only that, this isn't like something that fits in a shoebox that you slap a label on. This thing is assembled. There's bowl.

and washers and screws and like taking it apart and getting into a box again this they don't want it back so i think that it's worth the small hassle order yourself a trager 575 off of amazon leave it in the box the next day try to get your money back the worst thing that could happen is they'll come pick it up the best thing that could happen is you get a free grill is you get a free seven hundred dollar girl hear me out i am having a jimmy neutron brain blast right now you should me telling your girlfriend. You know what, babe? I also don't want to give you $1,200 for Christmas. I'm thinking that same thing. I'm thinking like, I'm just, I'm like, you got your mind back on. You know what I like to picture is after that failed, is you like walking into the back room and like peeling 400 out of the 1200 and being like, this is more of an $800 Christmas, sweetheart.

Yeah, dude, I was, I know you weren't tracking it, like our chat, Woody, but man, I I was like Googling, I was searching. I was like actively looking when Kyle was like, I don't know, like the heat doesn't seem to be reflected correctly, which like your hunch is correct. That's 100% what it had to have been, that it was giving you an incorrect readout. It told you it was 225. It was actually 115. Of course, it's not going to cook.

There's, I cannot imagine. alternative. But I was like looking online. I was trying to find Reddit threads of like is there a heat sink? Is there a way it could leak? I walked out last night to my own grill because I have a 575. I have the exact same grill and Kyle said to me stuff like, uh, so like yours gets hot, right? And I'm like yeah. It's like a food cooks in it. It's probably my favorite part of it. It gets so hot. And it cooks things. And like all of his problems the whole time. were things that I've, and I told you, like, I've made like easily 50 racks of ribs over the past few years. Like, I have never had an issue with heat not being there. Like, the most I'll

have to do is if it's chilly out and I want the ribs at 225 for the last couple hours, I'll set it to 230 because in order for it to stay at 225 internal, it has to be at 230 because it's so cold out. But other than that, it's totally fine. Did you get to the bottom of it yet? Yeah. I think, I, I think, it's a bad sensor like that it's not giving you an adequate readout because at first i was like because the first problem you had was that it was ramping up into heat too quickly and i was like oh i remember residual heat from the from the seasoning process though because the first thing you do is you crank the heat way up and it bakes in the oil that's already in there on all the metal pieces and that goes into the pores of the metal and then when the metal contracts it stays in there

and it's just like seasoning a cast iron pan, so it's non-stick suddenly. So that was my initial problem. Today, I put another rack of ribs in at noon, and I turned the heat up like an extra hundred fucking degrees. And they're pretty good. They just came out a few minutes ago. I ate two ribs before.

I was like, great, the ribs are done just in time for me to go to work. So I just stood in the kitchen and like ate two or three ribs real quick. And I go, yeah, all right. All right, it works. All right. This is pretty good, actually. And like, that's the, that's what tells me it's a sensor problem 100%. Because if, like, if I went out and if I made ribs and I did what you did today and I set my temperature 100 degrees above, I would come out to a charred piece of like ruined meat. And so 100% yours. Yeah, 280. That's, that's high as hell. The highest I've ever gone is like a 230 on ribs. And so you're not getting a good read out. there's a day because if you if you genuinely had it at 280 in there for as long as you did those ribs would have been so dry they'd be an edible so it definitely wasn't hitting 280 they're really good and the fact that the grill is free makes this an actual money saving venture now

because the other thing that was pissing me off dude i went through 20 pounds of fucking chips last night oh my god yeah i went through an entire bag and so like today i'm like i don't have I have chips to cook this rack of ribs. I've got like a double handful of fucking chips. Ha ha ha. I hope Croker has chips. I hope Croker has chips or I'm going to lose it. They had chips.

I got some cherry and acorn or maple and fucking apple or whatever the fuck. They're done. The ribs are delicious. They're cooked. They're pellets, not chips, right? Yeah, yeah. A little, they look like sweet. Damn, but I almost blew the lid off the whole case.

yeah that would have been a fucking problem no I didn't step in shit like that bad I think that the solution the temporary solution may even as soon as I ordered a new wireless thermometer like beat thermometer they can go in there that'll give me an ambient temperature so that'll help me calibrate the main sensor

what I'm going to calibrate the main sensor later I think I can do that with like some ice water like put it on the sensor that's 32 degrees dial it down to 32 and I should be set And if that doesn't hold, then I'll just put some aluminum foil on it on the sensor to make it read lower than it should. That's smart. Like when you were sending me all the complaint, like I was putting myself in your position and also like obviously my own of like I've smoked a ton of stuff where like I'll be honest.

If one of my friends who I didn't know for a fact was like really into cooking and competent with cooking was sending me those same text, I would have been like, this guy just doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. But I was like, no, Kyle knows what he's doing. He knows how to cook. Like, this is smoking. As he said, the most ancient of ancient cooking ways. It's not hard. And I was just, I was flummoxed, baffled. I could not figure out what the problem is other than a bad sensor.

But does your, so it sounds like you're using your own internal sensor. Does the one that came with your Trager work? I didn't even bother with it. like the internal meat thermometer thing. Mine came with that. It came with a cord that like you plug in and then it. Oh, okay. I just didn't plug it in.

Most of it works. I read it was bad online and like it was a waste of time. So I just didn't even use it. And I already, I had the wireless one at first through the first half of the cooking. It failed in the middle at some point. I was so mad at it today. Like I was trying to trouble shoot that shit.

Because when you're so excited to use something and you're like, ooh, especially you went into it at the worst podcast. possible time where you're like, well, I haven't eaten in 29 hours. Let's start a six-hour cook minimum. And then like, you slowly realize those ribs aren't coming. Last night, I was like laying in bed. Like my eyes were like falling shut. But I was like, I want to stay awake a little longer so I can see if Kyle gets his ribs. Okay. And then Kyle would send something else. And I'd be like, I just don't know, man. It must be leaking heat. I just wish. because it was it was exactly

part of me was mad at you for recommending I swear to God part of me was mad at you like like I was like Taylor's idea this was all Taylor's idea I also hold Taylor responsible I had the same I had the same

I felt transitively from a thousand miles away what it's like when you show someone a YouTube video you love and they don't like it within the first 30 seconds and it's a four minute video I was like, oh my God, please, Lord, deliver him from this so that he likes to smoke things.

It seems like you got it worked out now. I would still do exactly what you're going to do, get the sensor fixed. Yeah. Because that's, I can't believe you had to have that set to 280 to get your ribs cooked adequately. That's crazy. And before I did that, I turned the thing onto 500 for like 45 minutes to like. I've never even set mine that high. Oh, it gets the going.

I open, after 45 minutes of 500 degrees, I opened that bitch up. And I was like, now that's why you cook things. That is heat. It like hits me in the face. And I'm like, yes, that's what I needed last night. Like, obviously, then I turned it down to a more proper temperature and like, let, but everything, all the pieces of metal got hot and everything. I felt like that was helpful. I was the, not just mad, but mean.

Do you know what I mean? You were just like, you were hungry. You were grouchy. I've been like that. I was hangary. But but but but just I apologize to my girlfriend just like 10 minutes right before we started. I was sorry about being so shitty this morning. I was I just needed sleep.

And food and my eyes to stop hurting so goddamn bad. I also like everything everything was happening. I couldn't find my eyedrops. I couldn't find them. And I'm just like where'd she put them? I've done. I've done that. Is it your eyes hurt because you're getting smoked?

Is that what's happening? Yeah, I'm outside, just kind of hanging out by the grill, like in the cold last night. The smoke come off of this thing? Oh, yeah. Smoker, these questions feel stupid, but... No, I understand. You get smacked in the face. Yeah, it burns your eyes for you open.

It's always given off like some smoke. It doesn't look like there's a house fire, but it's like, oh, somebody's cooking. And the whole neighborhood must smell like mesquite and pork. Like, my neighbors are all, like, looking around, like, who's doing this? But, but, yeah, it had burned. my eyes out from just being exposed to this because I didn't open it. I know you're not supposed to open it over and over because that's how you lose heat. I wasn't doing that. But I did open it over the course of 11 hours five times. Every couple, three hours, I'd open it up and check the

temperature or do something or baste it or wrap it or there's multiple steps you have to do in that bullshit. I'm just, I'm better now. I ate two ribs. I got a nap today. I got I got because you got 10 ribs waiting for you after oh way more i got a huge two rack like you did two right i cooked one last night through it out and then i cooked one just today and then i have another waiting in the fridge to be cooked and i'm just going to keep them common there i what i like to do when i'm cooking and like learning a new thing is i just do the same thing over and over until i feel like i've perfected it and there's a bunch of dishes like that

that I feel like, like, my beef stew, my beef bourgignon is fucking top notch. Like, I've mastered that shit because I've made like 30 of them in the course of two months or something like that. Like my girlfriend would be like, beef stew again, huh? I mean, it's good. But come on, baby. Like anything else? I'm like, no, I'm not done yet.

We've got to try something different next time. More rosemary, more MSG. We're going to use roasted garlic this time instead of regular garlic. Oh, okay, okay. You could try, like, chicken? Oh, no. No. So you need to know what it would taste like with 10% more red wine reduction. Okay. I'll tell you what I'm really glad I didn't do. I'm glad I didn't buy one of those $85 beef frisketes my first time out.

That is not the way to start. Starting with that would be bold. It would be bold. I started with a $12 rack of ribs though. So it wasn't that big of a deal. Yeah. Just keep grinding on ribs as you are want to do and you'll get it down pat. Like those are. And it's nice when you have, I know you already have a litany of these but like those recipes that you can make well enough that like if you're entertaining you're like battle people will like this like that's where I'm at with ribs and pulled pork like if I'm if I know I'm doing a good thing I know for a fact I can make fantastic ribs and pulled pork every time because I've done it so many times uh buffalo using apple juice and apple cider vinegar when you wrap it up and brace it I I used to do a little more apple juice and then some apple cider vinegar,

but it depends who I'm cooking for. If it's people who I don't know as well, I'm going to go more apple juice because people tend to like sweeter. I like that more savory. And so when it's just for like me and my girlfriend, I don't even do apple juice. I do apple cider vinegar, butter,

a little bit of brown sugar. So I did a ton of reading, as you can imagine, last night while I was infuriated. And Reddit seems to agree that 321 is like amateur hour and that the real way to do it is some uncovered method with no brazing or almost no brazing and they squirt it with the apple juice apple cider like continue like every 30 minutes they hit it with another layer from a from a bottle like they spray it so I'm going to try that tomorrow I order to spray bottle

I don't know about opening every 30 minutes or maybe an hour or something it's but they're trying to build a good bark on there yeah oh you're going to get better bark from ACV than applesauce I think or a bark that I like that's tastier if you're just looking for the most amount of sugar glaze on top then sure throw apple juice in there

but just depends on your flavor preference I'll try that because I haven't done that like 321 is the method I like the most today I did four hours uncovered at 280 and then I

wrapped it for 45 minutes and then I glazed it for 45 minutes and they're pretty decent i like that you're you're already storming new beaches you tried three two one once had a technical error ruin it and you're like nah we're wheeling and dealing now brother we're just something about boiling like the the the the perfectly cooked ribs in a aluminum foil bag of like all that liquid seemed like a bad idea anyway like like i want them to be juicy but i don't want to be mushy and i they feel like there's a fine line there and i only don't mind a little bit of dry

dryness, because I'm going to put barbecue sauce on this shit. I mean, but you only have it wrapped that two-hour portion in the middle. That's a long time to like simmer it in apple juice, though. I feel like, I don't know, I mean, your ribs always come out well, and I've made one shitty rack of ribs and one okay rack of ribs, so I will learn as I go, but so far, yeah, but I'm psyched that I got the damn grill for free. It is crazy. You should give her an amount of money that's exactly equal to the grill.

But she didn't pay for the grill. But yeah, but then you'd come out, Jerry Seinfeld, clean. Like, just you'd have paid the amount of grill would have cost. I think we're clean right now if I don't do anything. I think you went through a lot of trauma last night, and maybe you need $1,200. If she gave me $1,200 on top, like she came home, she had it, that would cheer me up. that would cheer me up that would get you know what i'm going to text her right now swing by the bank isn't that my girlfriend gave me $1,200 cash for christmas i'd be like perfect like that that's

exactly what i wanted i am going to get her that star uh star trek lego enterprise i'm going to get her that i think it's like $400 and then i am going to give her like maybe $500 cash or i don't know I don't know some dollar amount of monies because I don't have I'm that that's what I'm going to do yeah and I already told her I was like I was like what would I was like

how would you feel if I just gave you money and she's like oh I'd like money and I'm like money it is like we've known each other long enough that she's being honest if she wanted a I don't know some sort of a emotional tie gift, some memory baked into a gift, she'd have told me. But it's just her hobbies

that she wants supported. And like, I don't know which face mask to pay for, which like kind of yarn that she wants. She's like, it's not knitting. It's crocheting or something. She fucking crochets like hats for the dogs and shit. Yeah. I mean stuff is really hard to buy for other people. Like if I wanted to buy Taylor Golf Club, you'd be like, well, that was sweet, but that's totally not the right one. Imagine if your wife was going to get to a GPU, imagine. Right. You'd be like, well, I mean.

How's it spelled again? Zotak? Is that a K or a C? I got you a Madcats 4090. $299. It'll be here from China. It's hard to do people's hobbies if you're not familiar with them for sure. Yeah.

Where do you, because I, it seems, I know Jackie is big on Legos, your girlfriend's big on Legos, like, not, some of these things are huge. Yeah, this thing's big. Like, it's two and a half feet long or something like that. And where do you put it, like, is it where you, like, is it, I guess this is the question, because the way I used to do Legos as a kid is like, I would build the thing that it told you how to build. And then I would usually pretty quickly after that, disassociated.

assemble it and then use those like in what I wanted to make like a city or something. And so I didn't know if people just build Legos and keep the finished thing and then never use those Legos again. No, I'm not a Lego guy, but my understanding of the hobby in its modern iteration is that people are paying tons and money for these licensed Lego products and then they they want them on the wall like Funko Pops or something or on a shelf or displayed. I've seen these collections on Reddit that are like 50, $100,000 Lego rooms where you walk in

and they have just like everything you can imagine on about the walls are covered, the shelves are covered. It reminds me of those train guys who have like the train rooms. It's like that. So she'll definitely keep it put together. Although like you raised

a good question, where to fucking put that thing. Yeah. If it's possible to suspend it from a wire from the ceiling, I'll do that. Like, that'd be easy. That'd be kind of neat, too. No, it'd have to commit a lot of that room to it. It'd be above her head, though.

Yeah, you're right. I don't fucking know. I don't know either. All right. You talked her out of a gift, Taylor. Nice job. Sorry. I just, as a kid, like, that's, and I know this is probably just the child

way to look at it. Like, I wanted to see what it could make, but then I wanted to, like, I wasn't about, like, I didn't have an infinite influx of Legos. Like, I, my Lego economy needed me to deconstructs. instruct the Star Destroyer so that I could make different things because it didn't have enough like free Legos. Is that what I never had Legos is a good? Does she keep them together? Does she repurpose

afterwards? She keeps it together, Colin too. We have shelves and shelves of the stuff. I'm not a huge van because it's not my favorite way to decorate, but it's not all about me. Well, good father answer. Now they're every

fucking wear, Taylor. Now she wants a Lego Christmas. mystery. What if you wanted to like? He's like, look, it's a Harry Potter room. And I'm like, oh, yeah, like plastic toys with

plastic hair. That's so cool. Wow. Does it have to be in the gym? It doesn't have to be in the middle of the did you have to suspend it from the top of the Like I like Star Trek shit. I've got a bunch of signed Star Trek shit back over there and like I'm into that. Like I'm into that a lot because

it's like all the main actors touched this thing and signed it and it's all it's authenticated and like that means something it's like fuck patrick stewart touched this he doesn't have much time left um i like that but like the lego star uh or enterprise i don't give a shit about that i i don't want it but she loves puzzles and it's 33 or 3600 pieces so that's a that's a puzzle and a half yeah she'll be at it for a while i haven't done a puzzle since i was like an actual child the amount of pieces

of doing a big puzzle would stress me out because then I would be like this is going to live here until I finish this we would do them on the the dining room table and you know

we'd just eat in the kitchen and then we had a kitchen table and a dining room table we would do them on the dining room table because it was round and we would glue them together afterwards and then we'd throw them away a month later I was working on a puzzle recently but he fucked it up

Treggers puzzles are too hard She put it together That's okay Now that is part Part of me was like I put the legs on Which is the like There's not a lot

To do to put it together But see I was I put the legs on And then I was like I'm gonna take a shower And I'll let you put the shelves And the sensors And the who see what sits in This little screws

And just this that and the other But I didn't look at what it was Do the sensors have a front and a back I don't know So I'm in there I'm thinking like last night And this morning I'm like she did something wrong

She did something fucking wrong While I was in the shower I was going for 10 minutes And she ruined all of this So I've got my thermal heat gloves on And the thing is fucking 400 degrees or whatever And I'm like fucking I'm taking it apart Like even though it's hot

And I'm like looking down in there I almost took a picture and was like Taylor is this what yours looks like Am I missing like the heater? I would have looked and gone to take a picture of mine and been like, this is what mine looks like. I pulled up a video online of someone like taking theirs apart for a cleaning. That way I had this like disassembly video of like moving the grease tray and like it's all there. And then I'm underneath it checking the fan.

It's done. The dumb question. Does the sensor have a front and the back? Is that? No, it's look at it. No, it's one of those like a furnace sensor. If you ever see one of those, it's just like a. Oh, it's an open air, sort of.

Yeah, a rod protrudes into the cavity and the cooking area. And there's no way. I pictured it more like a solar cell almost, like where it needs to face the heat. Yeah, no, no, no. It's really, really simple, which means like something mechanically was not giving you a correct answer. Like it, because there's really no, I see I've been that annoyed too where I'd be like, this fucking bitch, you fucking ruin my smoke. But there's just not that.

no way to fuck it up. Like, you had to have gotten at least one lemon piece that is just giving you horrible feedback. I think it's a sensor is just, uh, it's reading that things are way hotter than they actually are by 50 degrees, maybe, something like that is my guess. I'll calibrate it later and I'll find out for sure. If I measure ice water and it says that ice water is fucking about 82. Zero degrees or whatever. Like I'll, I'll know. Or, uh, yeah, it says it's 80 degrees. Yeah, that's the direction. Okay. Okay. It couldn't possibly be a fair Celsius thing. I didn't put my... No. I don't even know if this has a Celsius. It does have a Celsius. I checked that. That was one of the things. I'm going through the menu on this thing.

I was like, is there like a smoke button? Like, is there a grill and a smoke? Like, did I have to select smoke? And that's like, did I not turn it on right? You know, like, like, did I get the first step wrong? Like, I was just... I was going through like all the stuff I did to like kind of calibrate mine when I got it. And I'm like, the only thing, I had to change was the auger speed that like the speed at which the auger fed pellets into the machine because it was getting too hot too quickly when I first bought mine and I changed the auger to slow it down but I knew it was getting too hot too quickly because I had an accurate temperature readout and I don't know I was like so transitively frustrated because I was like

I want him to enjoy this so much he's having a bad time I can tell how frustrated he is and all these texts. He's so hungry. I was, I'm, I mean, I'm still really, really hungry. Like, it's, it's, it's, I just, I was just weak, you know, I would get a little faint. You're standing. I would like drink a little apple juice to tide me over. Keep your blood sugar in, in conscious mode. Yeah. Oh, that sucks. Well, I'm glad the ribs turned out well today. You'll get it calibrated. You're a good cook and you're smart. I'm psyched. I'm glad we got it for free. Yeah, got it for free. I was going to press the button

and order a second one when we were talking about this earlier and try to do the scam again. But I was thinking like, same address though. That might ping in the system. But you bought one. Actually, it would make sense, though, if mine is defective. But they're not going to believe it's defective twice. You know what I mean? I think they're going to put something together if I get two back. Eventually that money ball is going to end. Possibly. And you'll be removed from the nice list.

We're all on with Amazon, which is the, you know, I had a problem here. Refund it. And they're like, happy to do it, sir. Just keep using Amazon. Yeah. Yeah. But, yeah, quite the, quite the venture going through the smoking.

I almost, I was so upset this morning around, well, for me, It was, it was like noon, I guess, because I went to bed at 4 a.m. after all night of cooking, I was like, I need a beer. I need a beer. I was like, let me get some bankies. I didn't, I ended up like, no, we are not. That's like the first question they ask alcoholics. Have you ever used alcohol to like, like deal with anger or depression? Have you ever been really mad at a smoker and you need it? a bankie? Uh-oh. I was like, man, if I had a beer in me, I feel like I would just mellow the fuck out. But I was like, I'm not going to use alcohol as medicine.

That seems like bad mojo and didn't order it. Yeah, you should use sweets and candies. They're going to get a tree of brownies instead. Cheered me right up. The healthy option. Thrice of calories, but still. You see the new naval vessel we're getting? Big announcement today.

What kind is it? A new carrier? a new uh what does that mean a trump class yeah it's a trump class destroyer the the s s trump is it like actually better or is he just wanting he just wants his name on something i have no fucking i mean on everything he's a big fan of his president trump he's a big fan of his name yeah are they gonna undo all that stuff after he's gone it feels petty but also you're not supposed to put your own name all over shit right like there's a ronald regan battleship Ronald Reagan didn't name it.

You know, there's a Jimmy Carter. There's a Obama. Obama. I didn't know them. Is there an Obama? I didn't know that. I think it's an aircraft carrier. Yeah, I think there's a McCain something or other. But these people don't name shit after themselves and some sort of narcissistic jackassery. He named the new fighter, the F-47, because he's the 47th president. The next generation fighter, like the thing that's going to, I don't know if it's supplementing the 22s and 35s or if it's

replacing them, but it's an F-20, F-47. So these are actually... I hate it all, but that one's kind of slick. I don't know. That one's fine. That one I don't mind as much. If it's just the number... Then I really don't give... But President said the U.S. Navy will build a new Trump-class battleship envisioned as the

centerpiece of a, quote, new golden fleet, according to U.S. official Wall Street Journal of reports. And then I saw earlier, like, I didn't click on it, but Heggseth, Trump, and then another one of his lackeys were having a press conference to talk about the new battleship.

I don't know what I say. I know you're all plugged in on the actual capacity of it. Yeah, like weapons. Is this actually, is he just making another ship? Or is this actually, are we actually making the next tier of the tier up?

My, my educated guess, and it's probably, like, Trump didn't like put in place. plans or pick out plans. Like this is almost certainly a ship that has been in the works in the pipeline for maybe decades or or or or or half of decades or something. And he's like, oh, the new ship's going to go online, sir. And he's like, ah, great.

This would be a good PR moment. The same way he grabbed that housing, um, inflation adjustment for the soldiers and redubbed it as this 1776 allowance, which apparently is not tax deductible or whatever. And the same way that the, the, the, the, other thing was like basically he made it worse because they they were they were giving them that money um to supplement house their housing allowance i believe in relation to inflation and uh and he was like no no no let's call it like the 17 let's get basically it's coming from trump let me sign the checks and they're like well they won't be a deductor in the taxes then don't care it's good PR and so that's

what they did wow well i mean what this means is that All the most serious problems have been solved and we're able to focus on minutia like naming ships. So that's wonderful news. Certainly, the American public is killing it right now. Jobs are plentiful. Things are cheap. Wars are diminishing. Unemployment's killing up at the same time.

We're deporting people. It's good combo. Also, not recent college grads have like worse outlook than any time in like the past 40 years. of course not ideal they're i mean a lot of their jobs will be like and then fucking apple or google will be will have mass layoffs amazon had mass layoffs these tech companies and then the second they do mass layoffs they put in government requests for like 3500 5500 h1b applications what the fuck i Taylor had an idea that i just loved it was like oh minimum of salary for H-1B is 30, 300,000 or maybe just 350.

It was something in that neighborhood. And I'm like, yeah, actually, that way, if there is a guy who invents the next great medicine or, you know, the next Google or the next day, we're not just hiring people to work the customer support phones, pretending that that level of competence doesn't exist in the country currently. Yeah, 100%. I love it. Trump's thing was charging 100 grand per H-1B. I don't know if that ever went anywhere. Half the shit, 90% of the shit he says doesn't go anywhere. What he, like, what was really a good idea that I like that kind of lines up with what you and I agree on was the lie they said would be the policy, which is that it was a $100,000 recurring fee for companies annually that hired these people because, oh, Elon, you need the best and brightest, then this is no obstacle whatsoever.

$100,000 a year. But they're not hiring the best and brightest. They're replacing American graduates with H-1Bs to, like, do what you said, like customer service and like low-level entry-level jobs so they can pay them less. And like then they switched it to a one-time $100,000 fee after they had soaked up the good press from their base about this like what would have been a good idea. They just neutered it and moved forward. Is that in place, the $100,000 fee for H-1B? It was, it's probably not in place yet because the way this administration works is big.

blowviating horse shit in unenforceable or they're not willing to enforce EOs and then they do nothing. They do totally do nothing. On the desk right next to my Doge refund. Yes. Yeah, it's certainly. You're definitely getting back again.

They're just lying. I'm sorry. I'm looking at this battleship. No, they're just lying. Okay. It's not even a good battleship? It looks to me based on reading this article that it's a hypothetical fucking battleship. The ship, according to Trump, will be longer and larger than the World War II era Iowa class battleships

and will be armed with hypersonic missiles, rail guns, and high-powered lasers. All technologies that are still being developed by the Navy. Just a month ago, the Navy scrapped its plants for a new small battleship, citing growing delay and cost overrun, deciding instead to go with a modified version of blah, blah, blah. Yeah, he announced this from Marlago.

If you go to that link, you can see, they have artist renditions of battleships shooting lasers. I like that guy on the right looks like he snuck in like he won a contest. I worry about our Navy a lot. It seems like it's much cheaper to make hypersonic missiles that we can't stop

than it is to make battleships and aircraft carrier. What if we went to war with China who I think has the most hypersonic missiles? I read that on Reddit, so surely it's true. And they just wipe out everything we have in the South China Sea

in no time. I see it the same way you do in that like are we investing in horses in 1888? Yeah yeah. Are we investing in big horse farms? Like are we falling behind the times here? Because like I don't know shit but this feels like an an anachronistic way to wage war given how cheap you can enact damage from a distance now. I think it's what we do best. Like I think it's what we do best and if it

Jesus fucking Christ. This is This part's a joke, right? Of course, of course. I mean, it has sales. It has a mask. If we could make it. Okay. That's on me.

That looks more like a Warhammer 40K like battle barge. I like the faux marble finish on the boat. I'm going to tell you what. I like the look of that thing too. You roll up in the South China sea with that thing. They'd be scared shitless. They wouldn't shoot a day.

They'd love it. They'd love it, I think. They tried to steal it. Yeah, I don't know what the hyper. Dude, we need to, I'm sorry, Taylor just, I had a banger, I think. We should pretend that is the direction we're taking, so China steals that idea. Don't tell you what, don't tell the Chinese are moved towards marble ships. You know how we all steal everything and can't make our own stuff?

I have good idea. We make ship and tie out of marble and gold. Well, I mean, here, Kyle, you're making fun of Trump for naming fake shit. Every minute that he is thinking up names to fake ships, he is not sending our money to Israel. Consider this. He's got people for that. You think he personally strokes those checks? He's stroking someone in that equation.

I mean, I have seen some photos of him in bed with Bill Clinton. With Bibi-Din Yahoo. Clinton wants all the Epstein files released. He's like the way that they've selectively released this. up. Their goal is not transparency. It's implication. Release them all is Clinton's thing. Now, Clinton was elected in 1992. The Democrats aren't losing much. If he gets caught being in the Epstein files, they're all like, if he's bad, lock him up. Yeah, because you're not risking anything. Don't pretend to be so virtuous of giving up your 1992 president in exchange for this

2025 one and 96. Yeah, don't rob them of that. My bad. But it is how I feel. I'm like, yeah, just release it all. Release it all. see how this let's not protect pedophiles let's not make it very clear what they did yeah they they they collectively only released things um that would go against their opposition while trying to protect their own as much as possible and the great part is they didn't even do it well they didn't even do it well like like there are little tidbits here and there the whole time pardon have they done anything well this administration the whole time i think as much as you don't like the the immigration thing, I think he's doing as well

as he can. I don't give him credit for it. I think that he, I mean, he has pushed the limit so hard on civil liberties just to try to get those numbers up. I get that you don't like where the numbers are, but I think that it's just reflective of how difficult the situation on the ground is.

The only good thing about his administration, the only thing, is that 10 million more people won't walk in. That's it. He shut the door. No more coming in. Most people agree the border security is much better left and right the left did try to do that they just stop them they

shut them down and they try it too late like what they do for the first three years why they try to do it for the elections yeah sure sure i'll agree with that yeah um but i also like don't think it should be forgotten that Trump said no no no no don't let them close the border i want that to run on i mean that makes sense oh i understand the strategy behind it but as a person who also understand morality. It's like, oh, yeah, that's what an immoral person strategizes. Like, that's how he does it. I think it was Nixon. I think that the Vietnam, Vietnam was about to end. And he did something or talked to somebody, maybe Kissinger got involved to extend the war. I think he told the Vietnamese not to sign the peace treaty with

his predecessor so that he could be the one to do it. And it's like that guy, he extended the Vietnam War. That's I don't know about comparable because of the, you know, Americans die. Okay, it's that times 10, but it's still the same strategy. Based on what you said the other week, Kyle, I watched quite a few more

speeches and like interviews of Nixon, even like the post-president stuff. And it depressed me. I was like, this guy is smarter than any president that I've ever been alive for, for like no president we've been alive for has been as intelligent as this guy like him dislike him regardless he was hyper-competent he when you'd ask him about something geopolitically he didn't do like

the trump or like modern president thing where they were like it's because they're evil and they're bad and we're on the right side of history and we're the good guys and they're the bad he'd be like well in order to get into this we need to really delve delve a little deeper into the history of what happened to clear young for clinton he was like that too Clinton is super genius Road Scholar Clinton born poor smartest guy

in every room he's ever been in and I give Clinton that too but Clinton's never blown me away though what I think might have changed I think that we got dumber

I think the audience got dumber and so Clinton is and I think Obama probably has to had had to they don't know what that word means they're not going to understand what I'm talking about I'm going to say I'm going to say

we're the good guys and they're the bad guys that'll resonate and then with with bush i just imagine like the opposite where they're like he's like what's this word um together all mr oh oh together that's how you spell it weird i saw Obama speaking recently and he was saying that his kids this is old footage uh his young kids got annoyed at his cadence and wanted to pick it up. And they're all laughing at it. Don't they know that people from around the world line up to hear him speak? And I'm like, I don't know. I'm on team fucking kid. What is there Sasha? I forget his kid's names. You do talk to slowly. Pick it up. Pick it up. Yeah. He was, that was like an interesting. He was never as good a public speaker as a lot of people larped, which was an interesting

time. He's the best public speaker ever. And it's like, yeah, I agree. I don't want to get fired yeah no i think you're wrong i think people loved hearing him speak in the same way that i i didn't say trump isn't charismatic i said it never worked on me i always found trump to being a lying sack of shit who looks like a testicle and other people though love him other people hear his bullshit and get inspired by it so i don't say that he can't sell anything just that it never worked on me. Sometimes Trump there's some things that like are always sticking in your

craw and then when a politician finally addresses it you're like finally somebody said it like yeah like J.D. Vance was getting some flag because I think A-PAC or something happened the other day some sort of Heritage Foundation did a thing. Charlie Kirk, Turning Point USA did a thing is that it?

All the same thing to me. The Republicans got together to have a shindy. And J.D. Vance was like, in America it's you no longer have to be embarrassed to be no in America you no longer have to apologize for being white and the crowd went ape shit and look I'm watching at home like yeah man I appreciate you saying that because that's kind of what it's felt like for a long

time I feel like I've been shamed for something that my ancestors did and nobody else get shamed for the things your ancestors did all of our ancestors what are you a Celt you cock sucker like nobody's ancestors weren't pieces of shit okay you go back far enough and we're all came from a group a couple different bands of monkeys somewhere anyway like you know what I mean we're probably like yeah I never apologized for being white I'm not sure that we really had to but I will say I remember 4chan did this mean like it's it's okay to be white and I'm like there shouldn't even be two sides to this but there was so there were clearly people who were like I don't know about that it's like well

If it was any other color, would we be talking about this? No, no, we would see it as like, yeah, it's obviously okay to be black. When Mexicans talk about La Rasa or whatever, the race, you know, and wave those flags and talk about brown pride, it's like, oh, how wonderful. I love Cinco de Mayo, but, you know, some white dudes do it. The problem is, there's no way to do it without seeming like those tiki torch carrying fucking thunderbolt tattoos on your neck, skinhead motherfuckers, you know, and that ain't me. I don't have hate in my heart for other races. I have hate in my heart for assholes, scumbags, and

motherfuckers, of all colors, races, creeds, and denominations. I do identify as a motherfucker. Careful. Yeah. Don't say that about him. I don't think you know what a motherfucker is, though. It means your mother. She's a mom. She's just not my mom.

Oh, it's because he's talking about his wife. I just don't think that up. I just don't think it's just taking the insult incorrectly. No, I totally agree. I get you fucked your own mother. Like if you're

white and especially a white guy under 40 in America like your entire education everything you've seen in media about you if you are explicitly called out as a white person, it's all negative. It's all like you should feel bad.

You get no credit for the achievements of your ancestors no matter how remarkable and cool but you get all the blame from the evil and also the people your ancestors who invented things and created wonderful civilizations awesome structures and things that hadn't been seen anywhere else in the world they were they were bad and racist i didn't understand the negative connotation of calling someone a colonizer until about 10 years ago because if i'd heard it prior to that i probably thought like yeah the 13 colonies we came up here to escape religious persecution and made our own thing and then when they tried

to do us wrong we took it for ourselves and made the greatest country the world is ever known freedom liberty rock flag eagle charlie and and but what they mean is like whites coming to our land and robbing us and it's like i i just don't understand why it's only our ancestors who it's only us who should be ashamed or or punished for what our ancestors did nobody else just social engineering and media like it's it's totally inorganic it's totally inorganic to your own ancestors. Let's track Snoop Dog's ancestry down to whatever Houthi tribe he originates from and find out

that they actually sold slaves to the British and let's give him some shit. No, of course not. Because he doesn't have anything to fucking do with a Houthi tribesman from 400 years ago. It's not on him. Yeah. So white people are native to Europe, right?

If you find a European country that didn't colonize, like England, okay, they might be kind of colonizers, right? Like, let's let that go. What they did in India was evil. Well, hold on, because something that they did do that was really good for India is that before they arrived, there

was the practice of Indian women being burned alive if their husband died before them, and the British put a stop to that. And the British did put a stop to slavery everywhere they had influence. That's true. The largest enders of slavery globally are white Europeans.

There was no debate. Where I was headed is, if you go to like, Germany or Sweden, or Finland. Finland aren't colonizers, right? They never really left Finland as far as I know. Yeah, but I mean like, but you're right. Like, white people are indigenous to Europe. Like, that's their area.

Yeah, it's just, it's very organic. The Irish are the first ones to always pipe up about that. Like, not us, motherfucker. Do you know our history? Do you know what was happening to us 60 years ago? Do you know what's happened to us to this day? Like the Irish don't want any of that shit being called a colonizer or or anything like that.

And they push back. The other end of the stick. They push back harder than the English on the migration thing. Like, because the Irish will be like, you know, there's four million of us here. Why do I need fucking 60,000 Nigerians? They've got their own country with fucking 50 times as many people as us. Stay out. You're going to ruin Ireland.

Like, and they're just like open about it because they've always been on the shit end of the stick on that island. Shaleli, if you will. Yeah, the shit end of the Shaleli. And so they're like, no, we're not putting up with this. but a lot of the Brits are so cowtowed and afraid. Dude, the Brits arrest people for social media posts all the time now.

We need to get, we need to bring them to heal. We need to bring a little American freedom down and be like, hey, you're our glasses. You kind of, no, they're just where we, I don't, CBS 60 Minutes just spike to story

because the administration didn't like it. Like, that's freedom of speech issues right there too. I agree. I agree. It's a little, I don't like either of those. things. But I don't own a multimedia corporation, so I don't have to worry about the administration hushing my news anchors up. But I do occasionally post on social media. And like the idea of having criminal proceedings happening, like the cops show up and arrest me and drag me out of my house

because I said something mean on Facebook, it reminds me of when we were talking about those people who like draw child pornography or draw like a 12 year old who's 9,000. Every time someone says the British got arrested for social media posts, I ask what was the post? Because that matters. And no one knows. Anti-immigration post. In one case, the guy was like organizing violence on social media. And it's like, all right, well, it doesn't really matter if you use a phone or poster boards or, you know,

staple paper to the telephone pole. If you're organizing violence, it's not like, oh, but it's on Facebook. So it's okay. Yeah, I don't, I think most of it is just anti-immigration posts. It's anything. Oh, comedian. I don't want to see it. Yeah, I'm getting one.

But the 60-minute thing, Taylor, was about, is it Seacott? The, like, Venezuelan, or that Supermax thing? Where was it? El Salvadorian. El Salvadorian, yeah, they conditioned. They did some reporting on there on the conditions, and they ran it past legal, and they ran it's 100% factual, but the administration doesn't want them to talk about it, so they won't air it.

It's just free speech squash. so here's the tweet that got this guy arrested if a trans identified male is in a female only space he is committing a violent abusive act he then said that those encountering such a scenario should make a scene call the police or even punch the offender he got arrested sent to jail probably for more time than like

one of the Pakistanis who like molest kids over there because they well now we're making some guesses I don't know it sounds like A lot of those guys are out there. These stories are out there everywhere. Like a Pakistani guy will rape some girl in England and they will let him off because he culturally didn't understand that that was inappropriate. Like they are so much more cowed than we are. So much more broken.

It's sad. That would be wild. Yeah. But again, it's always like, yeah, it was a call for violence. Hey, if someone's in a space, then they should be punched in the face. I don't think that's, if you're a. man pretending to be a woman and you're like bothering and being aggressive and being naked in an area for women like that is that is violent like you are imposing on women with

your own little fetish that wasn't what he tweeted though he just said if they're in the space at all i think uh you should make a scene called police or even punch them um i don't think you arrest that guy they did and they arrest apparently 30 people a day for social media posts yeah i don't know uh freedom of speech has been chiseled away every year that i've been alive you know i remember the patriot act well you know and and that thing got turned around and we saw from snowdon's leaks that it got turned around and pointed right at the american public and not in the way that you thought like not in the way they display in like a tv show like homeland or something where we're yeah we're kind of breaking freedom of speech laws but god damn it we know it's him look look at him he's got one

of those james bond milky eyes like that's him He got a scar through his eyebrow. But they're just blanket, they're doing it to political opposition and Congress and senators. They're doing it to big religious organizations. They're doing it to political organizations. And it's like, this is wrong. This is so wrong. We're on privacy now, I think.

A little, yeah, a little bit. Yeah, that's a big thing too. And privacy feelings about it change. It used to be like people just had a full expectation of privacy. now it's like I can't believe there aren't more cameras on campuses to catch more angles of people we need this for our own safety people didn't feel like that 20 years ago you can't have a private conversation the government doesn't want you to we like I want to hit that home like we laughed at the UK for having cameras on all their public streets it was like they just can't be private there anymore now we have an expectation I like it that we have it too people didn't use to and now they do I I'm just guessing, but I bet the majority of like CCTV cameras that are in existence in the United States are ring doorbell cameras or the like, you know, privately owned or like, or even businesses. I would say that the government sector is probably 30% of all cameras and the rest is privately

owned cameras because that's the resource they always go to. And it's wonderful. And it also feeds us all the like cool Reddit videos of car crashes and crazy shit happening in neighborhoods. You know, you get to see. All fun and games until that video of you masturbating and you're cube comes out. I don't have a cube. I'm pretending it happened to me. What I was talking about with like the government, the CIA can use the speaker in your smart television as a microphone.

I've heard that. That's wild. And the TV can be turned off. So your TV's turned off, but it's connected to your Wi-Fi. It's a smart TV. So they're able to use the, you know, sound makes the speaker vibrate the same way it makes the um i don't know what it's called in a microphone the thing that that vibrates that the signal makes the digital signals or whatever but they take the vibrations of the speaker that that are

being you know reverberated from from your voice and then interpret that into audio through your fucking wifi and they're listening in through your fucking smart tv yeah not not yours but if they want to they can and i that did you hear that fb like former cia agent talking about it he has dark skin no um is it the guy with like curly hair like long? No. Okay. No, no, I didn't.

I heard someone else talk about it. I heard someone talk about it. Someone who seemed very credible to me. Same. I'm just naturally skeptical about that. I know they've had that tech forever where they shoot a laser beam at a glass pane window and you're inside the room and the glass is vibrating. And so they're reading those vibrations in the glass the same way a needle on a record player

reads the, you know, the bumps and ridges or whatever. turns that into audio and they're pulling the audio via the the laser um bouncing off the glass that's old tech that's that's that's old shit that's 30 40 years old and i'm like does that work with double pain windows which is like every window everywhere good question i bet if it didn't initially they figured it out like they're first it didn't but we saw they're pretty they're pretty bright those guys yeah yeah there it seems like there i mean there's no escape the surveillance state at this point like it's technology is advanced too rapidly

there's cameras everywhere like that they're really what escape is there you almost just have to hope that they actually use all those tools to arrest violent criminals and not political dissidents if you're going to tell somebody a secret that you didn't want anybody to know

you'd have to like go not just outside but like way outside and cover your mouth before you felt secure and then at a low tone I've always thought If I was a mobster Like discussing a hit or something I'd want to do it in the pool

I know damn sure you don't have a wire I know there's like nothing right here nearby Like you'd be pretty A lot because you're naked Oh yeah I can't have the Yeah similar idea I get it

But yeah it's like Yeah you know what What he's always in that fucking pool Talking business Yeah he is Yeah You know I'd do Take a Spitz

Yeah that is why they want I can't The heat. The doctor said no heat. I can't get in. Stop pushing me. I don't know. If I were doing it, if I were the big gangster making deals, I would make all of my deals at Dave and Busters. It's too loud. It's too loud for anyone to hear. There's a lot of, ding you guys. There's sirens and everything going around. Then you're making plans. That's a problem because then Mark shows up dead. And you're like, I said Matt. I can't air. Take her out of here. Come and join me in the Jurassic Park ride. Don't kill the spitters too soon. We need to talk.

All right. Well, I'm going to go eat these rips. Eat those ribs. I have dinner waiting. Okay. PKN. 592.