Painkiller Already - PKN 599

Episode Date: February 11, 2026

PKN, 599, anything big happening in our worlds? In our worlds? Yeah. Making some green curry in there. That smells real nice. Whole house smells like coconut milk and spices. That is cool. That's a really big story.

I got married, but I'd rather hear about the songs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They fix the duplication glitch in our traders. That's kind of big. Oh, yeah, that ruins the game. No, you know, I got some lime leaves, some kaffir lime. leaves. I dropped those in there, kind of like an Asian bay leaf. That adds a lot of delicious depth and flavor, a little fish sauce. I use two cans of coconut milk because I really like

it creamy. Oh, you absolute dog. Yeah, it's good stuff though. I got my bell peppers, onions. I like sugar. You don't see me dumping it on my food. There are two tablespoons of brown sugar in there. It is a tasty pot of stew. I'm really looking forward to my curry. You got married? Why? Again. Again. Yeah. I thought you were already married. Though that ended years ago. Shit. I, you know, I forgot. I need to keep you more abreast of my coming's and goings.

I had no idea. Yeah. Shut up, Toby. Yeah, it went really well. Tell me about the wedding. All you're saying. We'll listen. boring weekend stories.

She said yes. So, Mr. Accomplice, yes. Did you do it at a church, at a town hall, at a restaurant? What? Tell us all about it. We rented out a small venue for the wedding itself. And we just did like immediate family up to like grandparents and shit, which is the way to do it. Because I know I personally am thankful when like one of my close friends is like, I'm getting married.

You don't have to come to the wedding part. You just show up at the party afterward. It's like, thank you. Because I didn't want to sit through the wedding part anyway. The people that want to do that of your family. So I have them sit through it. And then for the reception, we rented out. an Italian restaurant, a nice Italian restaurant, because I was very particular about like, I don't

want wedding food. I want like restaurant food, good quality food. So I'm, yeah, so we watch that olive garden down. That would be such a funny place to have an olive garden. Well, here's the thing, guys, the breadsticks aren't free. You know, they really put us over a barrel. Are you telling me it would be cheaper just to order my meal separately as an Olive Garden patron? You didn't completely close the place. You just have half the restaurant so it's bustling on the right side. You have to walk through that. That would be fun.

But yeah, running out in the Italian place. The food was excellent, which was good. Everybody liked the food, which I wanted people to actually like it. I wanted a place that is like a restaurant because then they make it as you order it. instead of like wedding steaks where they're like we're having steak and it's like this has been under a lamp for fucking seven hours sitting back there and like did I get the most recently made steak or did I get one made is the second time Taylor got married and it's all about the food he's like so let me tell you about the wedding we have meatballs we have busters we have other people their their way don't have so Taylor you were on Thursday how did you feel on the wedding? Oh my God. Yeah. Wedding, like, all my part of the festivities with like the pictures and everything started

at like 1.30 in the afternoon. And yeah, I was definitely ill Thursday. Like the four hours of doing the show was probably the absolute worst I felt. That four hours plus the next 12 hours. Because what I did is like old school like wives tale style shit where I forced myself to get in bed and then I just sweat. And I was like, I have to be okay. by Saturday morning because I'm getting married and I was all stressed out. I wake up the next day

and I at like 8 a.m. and I forced myself to lay in bed sweating until 1 p.m. because I'm like, all right, I could just keep laying here because of the- Oh, the torture. This is a day that ends with why for Friday for Kyle. I forced myself to sleep in. I couldn't I couldn't sleep. I forced myself to sweat in because I kept thinking like I get rid of the agreement that you had. staying in bed till one. I did that today, asshole. I got lunch in bed today. That's sick.

You're going to bed until one when you feel well is some real king shit. At least I didn't mean it to really. I just, I laid bed for like 16 hours sweating, less than half that time actually spent sleeping, got up, had to go do the wedding rehearsal.

That was Friday. That was Friday. I was still feeling rough, really, really rough. And so I did, went, we had to do the wedding rehearsal. And then my dad had us, like, had a dinner for everyone at a restaurant for the rehearsal, like all the wedding party and everything. And that was frustrating and disappointing because we had it at a restaurant that I like, but I couldn't eat. Like, the thought of food was still making me, making me nauseous. Couldn't have a have a drink or anything because I was terrified that that was going to slow my healing and everything because it does.

terrible for you. And then I went, I left my own wedding rehearsal dinner early to go home and bury myself in bed, take more medicine, sweat it out. And then I woke up the morning of the ceremony feeling like a hundred times better. I was like almost back to normal other than like occasional congestion. I was like, oh my goodness, this is like a legit miracle. And so I was able to experience the whole day, normally not feeling bad. And then at the restaurant, had a bunch of drinks with my buddies were catching up. We're getting drunk, feeling good. And I woke up

the next morning and it was like I had restarted the sickness. You know what they say? Feed a cold, dehydrate of fever? For some fucking reason. You don't want any regular water in your system. I woke up that next morning and I was like, wow, that's a darker color

pee than usual. Usually it's not like that. Usually it's pretty light color. But yeah, at this point now, like, I feel totally fine. I just still have a little bit of that, like, lost voice feeling in my throat. But the wedding went wonderful. Wife looked beautiful. Family loved it.

Ceremony went off without a hitch. Reception was great. It was, I was so wrapped up in worrying. I was going to not be able to enjoy it because I was sick that it was, like, as the whole night was ending, that I was like, man, everything, like, actually. like there was no hiccup. There was no problem, no big thing that need no, no family quarrel,

know this and that, which is always something you think about. So, thankful it went great, happy for it. Two thumbs up for that. So I have a question. Have both of your brothers been best men at this point? Did you choose the same one twice? Because the

secret of the other favoritism is coming through. I'm next. I'm next. If it, if it happens again, fuck it, you can. You're in. It happens again. You're going to want me there. You need a good luck charm.

You need a good luck charm there. I'm going to be talking you through this. This third one's going to be a fucking sweat. Are you going to explain that you chose the same brother twice? No, I was going to say that I just went by brother's age. And so I used my young, my middle brother to hand it to me both times, like the ring. That felt more. people have a dog is the ring bearer.

I like that too. You didn't have a dog ring bearer. Or if there's a really good kid, like just the right one, round two, that works as well, I think. You know what I would like?

A fucking falcon. Imagine you, like, kind of pretend like you forgot in the ring for a second. Like, she's like, oh no, he actually forgot the damn ring. He had one job.

You're like tapping your pockets, looking around. And then out of nowhere, everyone hears, and you look, and there's a fucking ball, bald eagle flying up the aisle. I catch it because I've been practicing falconry

and I hid the falconers glove beneath my tuxedo and I'm like, ha ha! And I take the little ring from him. I'm like, back eagerly. And he goes back to, you know, whatever Turkish guy. He's ruining your talks. I sprinted anyway. Kyle blows me away with his great ideas.

And then sometimes there's one like this. It's a great one. I'm telling you, a bald eagle ring bear. Like, like, you just imagine it flies away. I got the Cheapest falchere in the yellow pages I don't know how this went wrong Oh what happened?

I got a real Mongolian falconer And you go over there and he's like, hey? Fuck! Did you go to Home Depot for this falconer? God damn it! That thing's flying back to Mexico for sure. Apparently, we should have gone on Yelp. Apparently this guy steals all the rings.

That's right. It's a long in my flesh. So, next time, Yelp. not fiber. Yeah. Our flower girl did not spread the flower petals very well. She did more of a got to the end near us and then just like fistful. How did we not catch this in rehearsal?

I mean, you know, she didn't have the flower pedals in rehearsal. How old was she? Seven. Oh, that's too old to be fun. Oh, yeah, that's inexcusable. I'm picturing a two or three year old. At seven, she should be able to spread flower petals. Well, I wasn't about to make it to do, but it was the one dark spot.

Yeah. You just include that in your thank you note to that family. I have a passive aggressive and like a speech. In our wedding was your incompetent flower girl of a daughter. I just want to thank you all for coming out tonight. It's been a beautiful evening. Just the union of two families. My new wife, Teresa, is so beautiful tonight.

I want to say, Caitlin, maybe next. next time distribute the flowers a little more evenly. I got to say, dark spot on the evening. I won't forget it. Yeah. We've been get a cluster of flowers all night. I mean, I should have said something. That would have been a very George Costanza thing to do. It's just to make a big point of that. But yeah, everything else is nice and smooth. Well, fine.

Yeah, I like, I like when, I like how Chiz was like, oh, hope you feel. better happy for you that's great congratulations and then Kyle you sent that meme of that like that black kid that won't smile and it said like happy for you overjoyed good luck that made

as soon as I saw Chiz have this like gushing like congratulatory message with like blowing like confetti emojis and shit I was like we got to go the other way with this what way you were going to go. Well, you've been not, you've been busy not getting married and learning about this

Guthrie kidnapping. You're just enraptured by this. I've been following it kind of closely because I've never seen a kidnapping that felt this much like a movie in real life. This feels like a movie kidnapping. Like, obviously like the story is this 84-year-old mother of a Today Show host in Tucson, Arizona was snatched out of her home at 2 a.m. And she needs this life sustaining and medicine every day.

She's been missing for nine days. And today they were able to, she's not a, I don't remember if it was nest or ring, but she's not a subscriber. So they weren't able to immediately pull up the footage from her cameras, but they were able to go in to the cloud somewhere and find it anyway. And so today they found all that footage and released it. And you get to see the kidnapper saunter up to the front porch wearing like, backpack, ski mask.

He's got a little light, like in his mouth. Like a little pin light he's like holding with his mouth. And when he comes up, he sees the camera. And then you can see the wheels moving in his head. He's like, I gotta do something about that camera, I suppose. And he digs around in like the garden, like the yard, and plucks up like a double fistful of weeds,

like clover and long grasses and stuff. And he's trying to like make weeds stick to a, camera somehow and he's just like fumbling with it like a goober and he's got a pistol in a holster in the front on the outside of his pants got like an appendix holster yeah um i couldn't really tell what kind of gun it was like you could rule out some types of guns but i don't know the holster's white wasn't it it's in infrared so it's hard to tell what color anything is just lights and darks and then some things reflect oddly in um an infrared that you wouldn't think like I couldn't figure out what was in his mouth.

I thought he had a big gold tooth that was like putting off for like an IR reflection, but he has a pin like in his mouth like searching around. But they don't really know all the details because they're not really telling us everything. But seemingly they got multiple ransom letters. One of them was definitely not the kidnapper. And they've already locked that guy up and caught him and everything. But the other one, the one that went to TMZ and also to all of the local Tucson. outlets, which is suggestive that the kidnapper himself is a Tucson area person, because they

reached out to like, you know, Channel 4, Tucson, Channel 13, Tucson plus TMZ. But I guess they're asking for million, millions of dollars, and they gave a Bitcoin address they could send it to. So because TMZ has that information, they're able to look at that account and see that money hasn't been put into it yet. Both the deadlines have already passed. it seems like they're not showing proof of life

the kidnappers and so the family won't pay and the only reason for that is that that poor old lady died the night they took her because she's 84 with a pacemaker and they clearly bashed her in the face or something

because there's like blood there I saw the blood like on the front how much was there? Like a drop or like okay I call it 10 drops you know like it looked like somebody that maybe had a bloody nose had stood there for a few seconds or something.

I'm imagining that she did. Like maybe she got smacked around a little bit. Probably bleeds easily, but yeah, 84. Yeah, I think she's dead. I hate to say it, but yeah, I think she's dead and they're not showing proof of life and then everybody's just stuck. But that video was creepy, like seeing that guy come out of nowhere with his mask and everything. I was like, oh, who's this guy? It looks like, I see. Did the leaf thing make you think he was like far? Because that's like what I would do in kindergarten.

Yeah, it's a bumbling shit. You would at least have a can of spray paint. So you get immediately like blind the thing. But preferably you would have some technical expertise and that you would disable that thing before you even approached. You know, somehow. I'm guessing it's a Wi-Fi-based camera. There's probably ways of overpowering a home's Wi-Fi

with a little box that you could order off the internet. Like you would definitely want to do something like that. Has there not been, I know you said no proof of life, but there's been no communication from the kidnappers recently? All we know about that's been confirmed is that they sent a ransom letter. And then the family has made like two or three videos now where they're either the three siblings, the ladies' children, adult children are standing there and sort of holding hands

and the today's show host lady, she's usually doing all the talking, but she's made like three of those videos now. And it seems that she's like, at this point, she's not even really talking to the kidnappers. She's just asking the public for help. Like if you've seen my mother, if you've seen this guy help us, we think she's still alive. That's sad. But my guess would also be that she's dead. Why would the kidnappers go through all this and then not send like a simple video of her holding the newspaper?

That's my thing. Proof of life is so easy. Yeah. Well, it would be different these days because of all the image creators and AI stuff that you can do in the ways that you can fake things. But you would figure something out. You would figure out a way. As I think about it, I'm not 100% sure how I'd make proof of life video that wasn't good evidence against me. Like, I'm not going to film it with my phone.

I don't know what's in the metadata of that. I bet there's some GPS data in it. Like, that'd be a bad idea. So old school camera that might gopros have GPS data in them. I know that. You can delete the cat. Could you do a Polaroid? You can strip the information at the metadata from from image files.

Okay. Now we're counting on me stripping the metadata appropriately the first time I ever try it, which I'm worried about. It's not hard. It's like, is it easy? Okay. Yeah, it's, it's super simple.

But what I don't know. I would, want to be on somebody's Wi-Fi. I'd be I'd want to be on like a McDonald's Wi-Fi and a burner phone like sending this thing from a proton email and then I still don't know that I'm safe. Like it's got to be like that. But I don't know what you even send because you almost need a video of her going like honey, it's me for your eighth birthday. I got you a Chuckie doll. Like your your your brother's nickname is Sammy. Like we ate enchiladas the night I went missing. Please send them the money. I'm not being, you need that.

You know what I mean? Because if it's just like her holding a newspaper of today going, send them the money, honey, I love you. It's like, I don't believe that. I ain't said to nothing. A very detailed newspaper would be hard to spoof with current AI. Photoshop. You can't Photoshop is tough in video.

You can't Photoshop like a Polaroid. Like you could just do a Polaroid picture and have a drop point or something, right? You can do face swap. AI videos. I've got a thing on my phone that does it. I think it's funny to like stick celebrities' faces on my friends and stuff. Like you can, look, it's not good enough to fool the FBI, but I feel like you could, I don't think they're capable of making a fake video anyway because they haven't, right?

Like I don't think they've seen proof of life, which is why the money hasn't been deposited. So it's kind of a moot point. But if I were trying to send proof of life, like I said, I would need, I would want a video of that loved one proving they are. that loved one in ways that no one else would like no it doesn't need to be like some key code or pass code it just needs to be literally like what i got for my birthday when i was 11 are there any leads at all like did this family have enemies are they like really rich or something like what they're not super rich you know i mean she's probably they they have a few million dollars between three adult children and a successful family and then her career i'm sure but you know they've

taken dna from everybody polygraphed everybody scooped up like the gardeners, the pool guy, the people who service everything and pulled DNA from all of them. That's not to suggest that they found DNA there from the attacker. It's probably just to rule out all of those people so that if they find an innocuous bit of DNA, they know this is the guy who doesn't belong. But according to what we read, it seemed like the ransom note had details in it that proved that they were the real kidnappers at the very least. They were like, I don't know, mentioned the layout

of the home or maybe that they broke something while they were there, they took a camera, or they mentioned something like that. But yeah, that lady's dead. Yeah, she probably is. And it's a Uber who did this. Anyway, like, you'd have to be an idiot to come up with, when I saw him with the weeds,

I was like, this is like a Cohen Brothers movie. This is, this is like Fargo or something. This is a bumbling goober who thinks he's got a score. Chis thinks it's family. Chis thinks it's like brother-in-law has gambling debts and he's going to cash granny in quick and she drops dead on him. Things go wrong.

He has to smack her around a little bit. Now she's dead. It's right out of a Cohen Brothers movie like bumbling criminals, fucking up a kidnapping and now being way in over their heads. Yeah. I mean, it seems like the bad guy should just go radio silent at this point. Stop asking for ransom.

not working. They're not going to pay you without proof of life and you can't produce that. Just stop. Stop. Radio silent. Yeah. Yeah. They might still get caught, but at this point, stop giving evidence to the authorities. They probably been in a panic.

Just from that video. Like, like, there's not a lot in that video, but I don't know, you can kind of tell their build. You can tell their stance, their gate. There's information there. Yeah. Yeah, very much so. You can just see his eyes.

and really can't see them very well. It's kind of scary because he comes out of the dark, all dressed in black with that bag and then the mask and he's got that light in his mouth. It was some creepy footage. I don't know why he would dress in black and bring a flashlight. Like, if you want to not be seen in the dark,

that's one move. If you want to have a flashlight, that's another. But you put them together, what are we doing? Fair enough. I guess he did, you know, you won't be covered up. It looked like a white guy to me, but you can't really tell. It didn't look like a black guy.

I guess. What kind of mask was it? Like a balaclava? Policlaff? Yeah. Like full covering, you could just see his eyes and his mouth. It was California, right? Tucson, Arizona.

I think it's chilly there at night. Yeah. Well, who knows? Maybe we'll learn more about it, but my guess is the same as yours that ever since that lady died, they've probably abandoned any pretense of money and have shifted all their focus to over. oh my gosh how do we get away with this how do we get out of here

it seems like they're going to hopefully they don't do you think they'll get caught Kyle if you had to wait yeah I would think somebody's going to talk or somebody's going to mention something they still have a body to get rid of presumably and in such major news like the White House is doing the president speaking about it the press secretary is talking about it

at length it's all over my TV and it's all over Reddit too so like everybody is getting this from the boomers to the zoomers So you would imagine that someone is going to recognize I'm sure the FBI is looking right now to figure out what kind of gun that is and what kind of holster that is and I would be going to every sporting goods shop

within 25 miles of Tucson talking to those people I'd be checking camera footage like they're going to catch him somebody's going to talk. He's somebody's going to brag, somebody's going to like, oh, what was me, this happened? Some wife is going to be wondering where her boyfriend is going to be wondering where her loved one was

the last week or something and it's going to get pieced together and she's going to report his cheating ass. Something like that'll happen. I bet. It seems like they have the top level of law enforcement, like the best that we can provide, which makes a big difference. My wife's friend's car was told. And what happened was the car and the truck in front of them, like something fell out the back. And then they ran over it. It was like almost unavoidable. They were behind them and that's what happened. So they ran over, call it like a, 18 inch tall rock and it ripped out the undercarriage and ruined the car. Okay.

Well, it happened like right by one of those like photographic toll booth things, not a toll booth, but just like a sign you drive under and it bills you. And they're like, we got them. We can hold the appropriate party responsible because these things take pictures. And she was like following this guy right as the picture was taken. And the police are like, yeah, just call. your insurance don't call us and the way her husband described it to me was like if it was a murder we'd have had him but for a total car the police are like we're pretty busy fuck off civil matter

yeah they don't you could probably i don't know how you criminal negligence i don't know but maybe you could civil like you could um subpoena the the the footage in the from in civil court but but like you'd need to know who you're getting it yeah that's a problem they're not going to have help her. But they would help her. And again, this murder case, or potentially a murder case. You know, they have the highest level of law enforcement. Yeah, I didn't watch the Super Bowl, but I saw someone was talking about the, either ring or nest, like, did some ad that was like, look, mass surveillance.

Isn't it wonderful? We can turn on all of your cameras and just secure the area completely. And everybody's like, can we not? this turn on the cameras and secure the area completely. I just wanted to know when the pizza was here. Is it? And they're like, don't worry, guys.

It's nothing new. We've been doing this for a long time. So nothing in your life will change. That part is new, them getting nest on board with, with their master wants. I watched a video by Ryan McBeth. If you Google his name,

I bet you'll recognize his face. And he was talking about that. Like the idea that ring is all part of like this. I think by default, you opt in to sharing your data with the law enforcement. And so many ring cameras out there exist and they can access your footage. There's more of a surveillance state than I realized. Yeah.

Then we, and it just happened overnight. It was everybody got these trendy things and it's just, oh, well, that's kind of like, I, if they done it all at once and had been government mandated,

there'd been this big hullabaloo, but because it just sort of folded its way into our lives, like frosting, it's like, oh, yeah, well, you know, everybody's got,

grandma's got a camera. They're not bad. What does that do with anything, Dad? No, the camera's good. You see the, you see the pizza.

80% of the time, you know, they're used for good. I don't see a problem. That's good. Net, net. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, and you can imagine how you would track someone's movements using cameras. You just like, you know, all right, we know he's northbound on Main Street. Yes, I can imagine that. Yes. But, you know, you can follow them anywhere.

Lay it out for me. I don't get it. Shut of cameras. It's the implications. There are people listening to this. You do not understand the implications of a system like this. We're implications, where you know, you've got them at this one data point. You just like reverse track them all the way back to where they live or where they, you know, through the weapon or whatever.

what have you. It's, it's very powerful. Did you happen to see that woman falsely accused of being a porch pirate recently? No. So a policeman comes up to her door knocks on it. And the woman answers, he's like,

you got any idea where I'm here? And she's like, no, how can I help you? And he's like, that's the story you're going to stick with, huh? And she's like,

God, just confused. You drive her green Rivian? And she's like, yeah. Rivian's like a hundred thousand dollar truck. he's like right we got you going on this street a time and time and time again and uh turns out by the way she's totally innocent the rivian also tracks like everywhere it goes it was a different

green rivian and he's just insisting he's like you know we have cameras all over you can't do anything in this town without us knowing about it you know everywhere you move everywhere we go we can see and he's just trying to get her to admit it as if you i have you on camera dead to rights. I think he believed it. But that also means he's just a shitty cop who can't even imagine that this like shady footage was a different

Green Rivian. I mean, he is a very rare vehicle. Yeah. She was innocent. He had two like addresses and he was at Green Rivian one potential and the other one was across town. And so he was really wishcasting

that it was this lady because he didn't want to go check out the other Green Rivian. She was trying. She's like my truck tells you her. Let's go walk over to the car, which is like 18 feet away. And I'll show you where I was at the time that you say this happened. And he's like, I don't need to.

I already know. He was close-minded to the idea that she could be innocent. I'm glad she didn't get railroaded for stealing packages. Nah, the idea that someone in a green rivian is going around stealing packages doesn't vibe with my. If you saw this apparently really sweet. kind of wealthy 50 year old blonde woman you'd be like why are you so sure she's a thief she doesn't she doesn't need to steal

random Amazon packages off people's porches like I got a vibe I think she had like a brick house you know you could it was nice some people are just they just love stealing and so there are people I'd love to do some stealing wouldn't you? Yeah I've talked before about robin a bank I would love to be so fun

I would love a mulligan on one like big bank robber. Whatever goes wrong slap on the wrist, you're good. This is your one though. As long as no one gets hurt, everybody gets one. People are going to get hurt, Taylor. As long as, like, very few are injured. It's going to be bad. I need to plead immunity here. We're coming in.

Remember that scene at the beginning of Batman, where they just drive the school bus into the bank? That's the move. See, I was picturing. more Oceans 11 very clever, very sneaky, but you seem to be more like get a magnet truck

and suck out the evidence through the world. Neither of those things. Those are way too pie in the sky. I don't know if you have any Ocean's 11 hacking skills. Like which one of the 11 are you? Are you the contortionist?

I'm the contortionist. Are you the confidence man? Are you the financier? I'm the guy who's always eating. That's that. Brad Pitt. All right, I'm Brad Pitt then. Okay, I think he's the face.

I don't think I have any Ocean 11 skill sets. No, none of us do. None of us do. Well, no, no, no, Taylor nailed the eating part. Yeah, I can be the eating guy. That's not all he does. He definitely does more than eat. Isn't it his idea?

He's a vibes guy. I think it's Brad Pitt's idea from the start. Somebody has to be the charisma guy. You could be that, Kyle. Mm-hmm. And then we need a tiny, Is there a moral support guy? I could do it. I say, you know, we can make it oceans 12. Throw that in.

That's a movie too. That's fine. Solid. So, yeah. Yeah, I don't think they're going to ever give us the one strike in your fine bank robbery clause. Mulligan. That's why that movie, what's the movie where you get to murder people one night? Purge. Yeah. I hate those movies, but I love the idea. I feel like they're bad movies with kind of an interesting premise. I've seen everyone. It was my daughter's first horror movie,

which I think gave her a certain loyalty to the franchise that it like didn't earn. Yeah. And so we went and saw the purge two and the purge three. And I forget how many there were, but we went and we saw all of them in theaters. Yeah. I like about the purge movies.

I don't, I can't compete with you. I don't think I've seen all of them. But every single purge movie, after the first one, like they both talk about it referentially as though like, oh, it's like Easter.

It's like, oh, it's Perch time again, just another part of the year. And then they're also totally caught flat footed at the first thing thing. Where it's like, really this was your first,

like you didn't have a plan? So this is the first time. Anyone's actually showed up? Yeah. Which was the one where the guy who kind of looks like Ethan Hawk was the dad? And he's like, it is Ethan Hawk.

That's the first one. Oh, okay. That explains the resemblance. That explains the resemblance. But yeah, he closes all the gates and everything. And then his daughter, like, hitting the nah-uh button and opening it up. And it's like, well, this was an oversight from the start, especially because you heard of that. Someone begged to get in.

Isn't that why they're in the doors? Yeah, that's why they were there. And they even said, give us the guy and we'll go on our way. But the guy making this deal is wearing like a scary bunny mask. And I'm not believing a word he's saying. So that's a little bit of a problem. but I was fully on board with like literally beating my daughter up at that point. This isn't like a stern talking to.

She needs a, she needs a, there you go. They can't hold this against you. Oh, I slug her in the mouth immediately. Put us all at risk, you dumb bitch. This isn't, this isn't a fucking grounding. You're not a member of this family anymore. If you go through the button, I blow your head off. And then I take whatever like street rat she's allowed into my multi-million dollar

compound, let's face it, with the sliding gates and everything, come on. What are you doing to us here, you dumb bitch? And I throw him out to them. And like, I would absolutely feed him to them. Because we were safe and sound in our little like suburban white power kind of neighborhood.

I think the later movies explore what it's like in like the black poor neighborhoods where they don't have like adamantium shields to go around their house and everything. And it's a lot rougher on them, which is more of a class warfare thing. Something I also liked about the purge is the bad guys are so

it's like the idea of the purge happening and being like I got a text to my boys we're gonna all we're gonna all dress like a member of fucking Mumford and sons and wear a spooky mask and then go out and like stomp clap at people until we can

my boys would do Winnie the Pooh you do that yeah we'd be a piglet I think my boys and I we'd wear pants yeah no no no wait wait what did you just going to get away of the rapist. No pants. No pants.

I'm wearing catchers, catchers pads, but nothing underneath. No, that's great, Woody. I like that. I'm wearing a T-shirt doesn't even cover my belly. No pants. I want to know I mean business. I'm wearing an incredibly small, like, over-the-eyes-zoro mask. They're through the gate being like, Taylor, we know it's you.

I'm like, no. Taylor, my friend can't do you. You'll never know. Yeah, I just, I don't know how you get caught flat-footed on Purge Day. Yeah. You know, like, I understand how you, like, forget somebody's, like, anniversary or a birthday or something. Those can slip past you, but the fuck, you forgot it was Christmas today. You didn't notice, like, it's not, I'm sure everybody would be getting ready the day before.

There'd be, like, purge songs on the radio. I don't remember people getting caught flat-footed, like you're saying. Who, do you, can you jogging my room? I feel like the premise of them. I haven't watched them as thoroughly as, as, you. you. So maybe I'm out of my depth here. I'm not known for my memory either. But like the in the first one, there was that really secure home and they sort of let people in that they shouldn't have trusted because they begged. Well, the guy there's, well, see, that's an example, right? The people,

Ethan Hawks family were not caught unawares, but the guy that was being chased into their home. What's he doing out and about? You know, like you're either out there to kill or you're back in a hole somewhere hiding. And I don't care if you're poor. You can make one of those Saddam Hussein spider holes in your backyard and put some lawn furniture over it. We just got to be out here to the morning, right? Like, we don't have a lot of poor people just counted on not being hunted. Yeah. Like, who's mad at the neighborhood welder?

Like, he just gets a pass. You didn't do anything. It's that rich guy who underpays his staff. He's the one that needs to protect himself on purge night. Yeah. Or politician or who knows what. Man, they've made a lot of these. How many if they've been?

numbering them and started naming them. They did that number because I know there's like a purge anarchy and maybe there's like a purge purge. It's like the first purge ever. And they may have even done like a Wild West purge like or something like that. I'm probably mixing multiple. I haven't seen the Forever Purge, which looks like the Wild West one from 2021. Here on Reddit is it.

Does anyone else think the Forever Purge was utter garbage? I got to see it anyway. I'm here for it. This isn't even Old West. Forever Purge, it says it's 2048. Eight years after Charlie Rowan's presidential election, I don't know who that is, but... The cover art looks Wild West, if you...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It would be better in Wild West. Man, well, these are pretty terrible. Most horror movie series are terrible after the first one. like even saw like saw one was the mold on that in that even the first one was bad it was just what kyle said where it was like oh this is a really interesting premise and then they they step and king you through the whole fucking movie like damn convinced premises are so much easier i can't do either but premises must be half as hard as endings i don't get it so have you

told the world where you're going on your honeymoon or what your plan i don't know i don't want to docks you but what are you happy to say uh we are going to hawaii and so that should be fun uh we're not leaving we left some space in between the the wedding and the uh and the honeymoon so i'm hopefully going to get a couple more things done with the house and then head out and do that but i'm looking forward to it we're going to do two weeks in hawai uh last time i was in hawai i was just a kid and so i just remember the beaches and stuff like didn't really go out and do a ton of expeditions but I want to do like hiking, see some waterfalls, do some fun shit, overeat, buy a bunch of popcorn books and read on the beach like a lazy bomb. I'm looking forward to it.

It's going to be, going to be nice. We went to a volcano. I don't think we, I think we drove most of the way, but there's some hiking at the end. But that was pretty dope to see a Hawaiian volcano. We went to the Black Sands. I forget, is that Waikiki? I don't recall. But went to a Black Sand Beach.

There's good shit there. Black Sand Beach. Waikiki. Oh, Waya Napa Napa, state park. Wayia Anapana. Weird, I didn't remember the name. I'm looking forward to it. My ideal vacation,

if it's not skiing, with a huge focus on skiing, it's the beach. Because you can't go wrong with the beach. It's nice. It always has novelty to me as someone from the Midwest, because I just, you don't get to hang out around it that much. And you can just waste a whole day, just looking at it and relaxing. It's always nice. I know Kyle's-Oceans are so big.

It's crazy how big an ocean is. And it opens my imagination to like, I don't know, staying on the Jersey shore and be like, you know, that's France over there. I can't see it, but I know it's there. Like, the only thing between me and France is this water. That's a big body of water. I like those maps. that you can like drag over and see the equivalent longitude to where you're at in the U.S.

in Europe. And we're further south than we think, or at least I think, because I always like just think like, oh, our landmast probably lines up kind of with their main landmass of Western Europe. Like in Europe. Yeah. Like, no. Europe's like the northeast. Louis is like the same longitude as like Athens or something.

Like the capital. England is really far north. You probably know this. but the water heats up in the Gulf of Mexico, kind of like swirling in a circle, it gets extra warm, and then it escapes through Florida, goes up the golf stream,

and then like past Greenland to England, which is why England has much warmer and wetter, wetter than you'd expect for its latitude. Oh, interesting. Yeah, they do get a tremendous amount of rain, probably too. Warm weather and wet weather. It's because the golf stream just pulls it all.

It's basically the Gulf of Mexico heating up England, and I don't think they appreciate us enough for that. When have they thanked us? I'm going to turn off the Gulf of America, and they can freeze. We're going to build a big, beautiful wall to redirect all that delicious warm air. A big beautiful damn. I'm sorry.

I'm excited about it. Zach pulled up. Great job. But London would be in Canada. Paris would be on the U.S. Canadian border. It's way warmer than that than you'd expect. Amsterdam, Dublin.

These are like getting to the part of Canada that's cold and less populated. Yeah, Atlanta is roughly northern Africa. Like, it's... It's because we make our own heat. We don't depend on some other continent to export their warm moist air. That's true. That's true. We need to tariff the moisture.

Yes. That says what we need to do. don't think we want to turn that off Europe. Did you see Trump's trying to like Tony Soprano, the Canadians out of their bridge? I saw that he was fussing about it. I think he's just, tell me what you know. And I'll hit back with the line. So currently there's two pathways between Michigan, I believe, in Canada.

One's a tunnel. One's a bridge. Canada built this big, beautiful bridge. It looks like a very nice modern bridge. Trump is saying, you built that bridge with without American steel, without American workers. That part's not true. He said it, though. Okay.

How you know it's not true. And also like, what, you're going to get all the revenue from this bridge? I mean, you did build it and pay for it, but we should be getting some of that. We're the much bigger economy that you're building a bridge to. It feels like we should get something. And so he's literally muscling the Canadians trying to get like half of their bridge toll money or whatever it's going to be. And I don't know about the toll money. I do know that Canada built it 100% with their own money.

And I do know that they used US steel for it because I've been looking into it lately. And I also know that they're giving half the bridge to America. Even though they built it on their own dime, they want to split ownership of it with America, like in this sort of partnership. I haven't looked into the polls. Probably splitting maintenance costs as well. I would think maybe that's the deal like split maintenance, but. Yeah. And Trump is also mixing in things like Chinese influence in Canada and how the Chinese are in the same tweet, in the same breath.

He said the Chinese are going to cancel hockey. They're going to take the Stanley Cup. He said that, what he said that the Chinese, first of all, the Chinese aren't, what does he think they are? Like, he he he like evil mustache twiddling bad guys? No, they're businessmen who want global domination. The last thing they're going to do is come into Canada and take their hockey away. Oh, yeah, they're going to cancel maple syrup too, only soy sauce now. Like, no, they wouldn't do that.

That's absurd for you to say. But he said that. And then he was like, Canada's for too long. Canada's been taking advantage of our dairy. farmers, they won't take a dairy. And I'm like, that is a bit of a problem, it seems. However, how much money are we talking in dairy that didn't go to Canada for you to be like throwing this roadblock into this, our economic partner to the north, our bordering economic partner

to the north that you can just drive across a bridge with your goods to that they built for you? Like, like, how much money are we missing out on with these cheese taxes, cheese tariffs or whatever. The Canadians don't want our cheddar. Like, it couldn't be a lot. It couldn't be enough to do this, unless you're trying to keep the public off the fact that you're a massive pedophile, just the biggest, just the biggest pedophile. The more I hear about those emails, the more it's like, I think we might get somebody. I think they're going to get people. Like, the Europeans are already, like, getting people. And the royal family is like, we'll work with the police if they need us. This is just,

despicable. Meanwhile, we're over here, like, not circling the wagons at all. There was that one email where someone was thanking Jeffrey Epstein or complimenting Jeffrey Epstein on a good torture video. They unredacted that guy's name. We know who that guy is now. Oh, who was it? He's a sultan from the UAE. Nice. The email that said 10 years of age, it's, I think that's the entire email, 10 years of age. Well, then there's a JPEG attached. Oh. Yeah. Okay. It's just text of the JPEG or you seem to know something I'd know. Well, it seems like that there's an attachment to the email that had you received it, you'd be like, oh, a 10-year-old and you opened the photo of a JPEG of like a 10-year-old. Okay. I didn't know about the picture part. All I knew was 10 years of age. You can see it in the email. Like you can see like up above like jpeg dot blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blue.

And they, is it where I was going, which seems half correct is the only thing they redacted is the only thing they redacted is the, the sender's name. And it seems like they redacted the image as well or something. But I'm like, how is this not protecting pedos? If he said 10 years old, I don't know if he's talking about a child or a boat or a car. But something about 10 years of age,

we're talking about 10 year old cars. 10 years old could refer to a house, right? It could like 10 years old. I don't live in 10 year old houses. That is the, The verbiage I use on everything that's 10 years old. But 10 years of age is verbiage you use on humans. Oh, I see your point.

Did you see all the jerky stuff? They're talking about like eating jerky and such? Yeah, we're talking about eating like, oh, Jeffrey's been eating. We've gone through 70 pounds of jerky in just the past couple weeks. And then a lot of people were like,

Oh, Taylor froze. I think Taylor thinks everything is eating kids. I'm calling it. I don't know if it's true. Is jerky girls over 18? Are they the sort of dried out? In ones, dried out tough. Taylor, you froze.

I didn't interrupt. No, that's all right. That's all right. Is your theory that jerky is child flesh, Taylor? I don't know because I do see them saying, like, we have 80 pounds of jerky in the, freezer. And it's like, well, that's not something you do with a lot of normal jerky. Did you see the receipt for Jeffrey Epstein had a receipt for 350 gallons of acid?

Yeah. And I saw people trying to be like, you use small amounts of sulfuric acid to purify water supplies. And then Flesh Simulator, who we've had on the show, was like, that's really interesting because the amount of sulfuric acid he bought would be enough to purify enough water to flood the entire island. Like, that's not what it was. Like, it clearly was... Who's this from? Why are we redacting this? Here's my...

Why would we redact this? Why can't we know who's asking for jerky? I'm not saying that jerky is child flesh. A lot of these people who are being redacted are the people who buy and sell our politicians. And... 380 results for jerky in the Epstein files, apparently, according to Zach. That's a lot of... It's a lot of jerky.

It's definitely code for something. When's the last time you message someone about jerky? I can't even imagine. And if I did, I wouldn't be saying it in a coy way. Like, I feel like, hey, how's that new peppered jerky you're making? A little garlic maybe? You like soft jerky or like really tough jerky? Some people like to be a little softer.

I don't like it super rough and tumble. A little bit of more. The venison jerky that we would get when I was a kid was like so tough. It would break my braces off my teeth when I was eating. I've had that too. I don't like that as much. On the FC file. Have you read HR 4405 the bill they passed to like band-date the release of the Epstein files? You could. It fits on one printed page. It's not long. And the thing that, let me just read a part of it. No record should be withheld to later redacted on the basis

of embarrassment, reputational harm, or political sensitivity, including any government official, public figure or foreign dignitary. It seems like they broke that part of it. Like it doesn't matter how embarrassing it is or whatever. Like you have to release it. They broke that a billion times. Like, presumably because I'll give me devil's advocate.

That could have been a victim asking about jerky. It really could have been. It could have been one of the girls asking about actual beef jerky. It could have been. But yeah, come on. Right. Like, there's so many names redacted 10 years of age with a thank you for the torture video. A little girl doesn't like turkey, Taylor.

Thank you for the torture video. They redacted his name at first. I guess it's out now. But they're redacting, they're breaking that little part of it. Here, I'll paste it in. Getting like a Saudi Sultan in there, liking a torture video really is almost like one of the least. All right. Let me read this email quickly.

from Francis Derby sent to who knows subject jerky just wanted to touch base about jerky period J.E. said that he was going to start

eating regular food again so he might be eating less jerky that and he has six bags of it in the downstairs freezer for his next trip. I believe it should be enough to get him through any other questions. Please

let me know. Thank you, Francis. Jay Derby. What was the part about him switching away from jerky? He has what? So he's going to eat his turkey. He said that he's going to start eating regular food again. So he might not, he might be eating less jerky. He does, however, have six bags of it in the downstairs freezer for his next trip. Good golly. This sounds, well, it obviously is code, but six bags. They might be eating child, child meat, dude, in like great quantities. It's six bags of child flesh I inferred that he was switching from kids to adults for a while But he does have six kids on hand

That's what I thought I read or heard I don't know it's hard to parse the real He's got them in the freezer though downstairs Who puts jerky in the I think you don't put jerky in freezers do you I don't think that part's literal But who knows that maybe about child flesh Like not fucking children but eating cannibalizing them

just to be clear. Maybe, but I don't know. I painted a less sinister, merely banging the kid's picture on it, but it's hard to be sure. It's quite the code. Well, they, you know, and people can be like, oh, you're, you know, seeing stuff where nothing's there. Well, we know that these people use their food codes for everything. We know we've seen all these same terms all the way since the Pizsigate Podesta stuff. Like they use food words to hide shit.

The FBI has a whole page on this. Like, it's a known thing. And so I don't think you can judge people for leaning towards the conspiratorial when seeing even more weird, oddly placed food terms. Yeah. Because, you know, like, they also, they were eating, like, the pizza. Like, are there many emails of them talking about, like, the stuff they really did eat? Like, oh, you simply must make that Wellington again. Or like whatever fancy shit.

I just don't know that they're speaking in code. They seem to be like so upfront about some things. Like that one guy is like, thanks for the torture video. The other guy is like, you know, here's a 10 year old and there's an attached photograph of something that we don't get to see for some reason. It feels like they're very up and open about the like we're shopping little girls kind of thing. Dude, it looks like it's about eating. Zach said go to page four, so I did. I'll read it.

It's not that long. Francis has time to come tomorrow and show me how to make it. Exclamation points. Jerky glass, anyone? He will bring you a taste of his new jerky recipe from the restaurant and sends a warm hello. He is working at a restaurant called cannibals and cooks. Wait for it, beef, jerky and steak. Anyone, he has time at 3 p.m. tomorrow if this is okay with you. Sent from my iPhone. Oh, no. All right. So there's just no way that we thought their jerky talk sounded like cannibalism.

and then in the next email he's like oh by the way if you want to learn how to make jerky we've got a place it's called cannibals cannibals and cooks it's called cannibal and cooks they're eating children it seems that way maybe they murder their kids to prevent the

like evidence trail apparently there was a restaurant called the cannibal in New York City okay it's called cannibal and cooks though this one's uh in an island near South America well then that is never went on the same one This one's in Jeffrey Everstein's basement.

Oh, I saw the white tuna thing, too. Yeah, I don't know what what white tuna means, but I got it's fish. Jesus Christ, do you think Donald Trump's ever eaten a person? He might have. I can't rule it out. I'm not sure that Donald Trump hasn't eaten people.

We need some smoking gun shit, because right now we're all getting blue-balled, and we need, like, we need releases that can allow us to make definitive things. Whether or not the president's cannibal, definitively. And that email I read, the one that was about like cooking people and the cannibal. The only thing redacted

is who sent it. They are so clearly protecting what I've heard lately called the Epstein class. That's what Massey said today. Massey came out and like they read they're reading they're reading, they're reading,

there's don't have the names blacked out. So they read this stuff and then he came out with whoever is bipartisan partner is on this, a black Rokan or something like that He's Indian to me Rokana he's Indian Dark fella

And so the two of them came out And he said it looks to us Like they are hiding the names Of five or six prominent Famous men For no other reason Than to shield them And we're gonna go back

And work on that So it seemed like something was being done And they were gonna go back And ask for those names to be I think they read them out loud No? Did they do that today? He said

My wife told me about it. He said he was going to a bunch of things. I didn't do. I don't think he. Why can't he just go on like the floor and just start reading it? Like they have immunity for shit there. Yeah.

Yeah. So that's what they threaten. Do it. Do it. My only guess, and this is just Woody talking, is like, you can only blackmail and like have power over someone while it's still a secret. Once the secret's out, you've given away your edge. Well, a lot of these people that are being.

are powerful people who clearly have influence on our politicians, our foreign and domestic policy. And so, you know, a lot of these people they're protecting. It's like, why are they protecting it? Well, because they're part of these groups that buy control. Like, they're buying of control is why they're still redacted because they're still being a duckling pig? Yes. I mean, any, in most, any kind of pig is good. But what's like the baby pig, the suckling pig? Could you tell? Was it more tender and delicious? No, actually, I've never had that. No. That's what I want. No, it seems a bit gruesome. I see it in cartoons a lot. You know, they got the apple in its mouth and all. Oh, is that a suckling pig? Not necessarily, but I've seen suckling pigs displayed like that, like the whole, the whole little fella.

It's never a 600 pound pig with an apple in its mouth. It's like a giant ugly. Pig veal is what suckling pig is, basically? I think suckling pig means they're still on the teeth. So that would be like veal. It'd be like pig veal. Yeah. Which veal is. good wheel. It's not like good enough to be more. Every veal I've ever had has been like smothered in some sort of sauce and like Italian. Yeah, you get that the veal cutlet with the brown sauce on and everything. Yeah, I almost feel like I don't know what veal tastes like. You could put fucking pasta. It's dipped in that much sauce and you basically eat. My meatballs are one third beef, one third veal and one third pork.

And they're so goddamn good. My whole life I've been making like a bolognaise sauce, like I'm just a meat sauce and putting that on spaghetti, but after I started making these veal pork and beef meatballs, I'm not like ever going back. You get to like slice each meatball open and have this nice little like flavorful meaty bite that's not just drowned out with marinera sauce.

The Italians do love veal. They're all about it and I trust them with food. It seems overly cruel. It is a little fucked up. Well, is it really? You know, we put all those chickens in that, in those grinders. We do. And we all laugh at that.

I just imagine Taylor like getting that job and all days like as they just spill off the conveyor into the meat grinder oh it never gets old they don't see it coming pique gring grang grang grang grang

no that's a little fucked up and I think with the veal also not only are cows fucking mammals and seemingly pretty intelligent but I think they take the baby away from the mother early and they put it in this little pin so it can't get up and move around very much because the movement makes

them deep tough and then they bottle feed it presumably because they're milking the mother for cheese and milk ah that cow wishes it was aborted it's like it's brief life there's nothing but torture yeah the whole life from beginning to end like no funsies

at all and it sucks to be a veal calf it does yeah you're just chains to a radiator I always see them trained, like, chained up in like a little doghouse, essentially. Like, there's a bunch of dog houses in a field, and each one has like a prisoner in it, basically. It's a baby cow. At least their suffering is brief.

And delicious. And delicious. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's about time for me to get a little jerky. I think this is a problem. That's what I'll retire to are jerky layers. PKN, 599.