Painkiller Already - PKN #60

Episode Date: October 15, 2015

This week on PKN #60, there's a lot of transexual talk!

We are PKN episode 60. All right. 60. That's a nice round number. Isn't it? Dude, I have a topic. Did you see that Japanese streamer who burnt? Yeah, what a fucking dummy.

Oh my God. Should we try to- What an inept human being. He doesn't like, so inept. Let me lay it out there and tell me if you remember anything differently than I did. So there's a streamer, he inept. Let me lay it out there. And tell me if you remember anything differently than I did. So there's a streamer. He's Japanese. All the description and stuff on the video is in Japanese.

So one presumes that's the only language he speaks. Who knows? And he's lighting a lighter or something. I'm not exactly familiar with the device. It looked kind of like a Zippo, but it had what I'm gonna call a reusable match. Like I hadn't seen it before, but it looked like it was a match. Maybe it had flint on the end or something. Did he dip it in oil and keep striking it? Are you familiar with this? I didn't watch the video. I kind of

like, I was like skipping until I got, I skipped through the thing. Like I know everything that happened, but the device I'm not sure about it sounds a lot like this thing I've got where you unscrew uh one part and then you strike it against the other and you've got uh like a a match and the way that thing works is there's flint on the end and also some like uh like cotton wick material and there's flint on the side this is steel and it ignites and there's fuel inside the vessel so you've always got a like a weatherproof match and is the match kind of soaked in oil when you're doing this yeah inside the vessel that it screws into there's a reservoir of lighter fluid okay so that sounds like it a lot i've never seen one in person i don't think and i haven't seen the video i'm

watching i'm watching him strike it and and i particularly remember it because in america when you strike a match you kind of rub it like that he was striking it like this uh like and i was like oh that's interesting you know he holds it a different way um little little audio video portion for our patreons love you guys so much but um anyway he lights the match and he has what i think is a pile of maybe used napkins or handkerchiefs. The piles maybe, like you could stuff it into a bowl to give you a vibe on the size of it. Maybe it's a little bigger than a bowl because it's fluffy. But that's like how much we're dealing with.

And for one way or another, he gets it started and the napkins catch fire. And if I recall correctly, the napkins were in front of him. These are like cloth, they're paper napkins, like toilet paper almost. And so he picks up all the napkins, fire included, and puts it behind him. Like that's his way of dealing with it.

Now, he's live streaming this. He's apparently a gaming live streamer. And you're watching it over his shoulder, but he seems to be unaware of the fact that there's flaming napkins behind him. And the fire, when he put it behind him, it was like golf ball size. Like it was a very small fire.

And you watch it grow and grow until now you have like a cantaloupe-sized fire, maybe even a basketball-sized fire behind him over his shoulder. And that's when it gathers his notice, right? That's when he's like, oh, I've got a fire here, right? There's starting to be like an orange glow in the room because of the amount of fire he has. It's a light source now, right? Yeah, yeah. And it's not like a super high quality camera that handles all these light sources differently. Like it's getting fucked up.

It's like it's backlit and stuff. Everything's gold. Yeah. So anyway, he has what I'm going to describe as now a basketball-sized flame of these napkin, toilet paper-type trash. Yeah maybe it looked like he was an amazon user there's like boxes back oh yeah like shopping bags like maybe like all those paper grocery bags like all kinds of paper refuse so yeah i'm gonna get to that in a moment so so he picks up this basketball sized fire full of like what maybe he blew his nose 30 times or something and he puts

it behind him by like a wooden closet door on the floor now what kyle was talking about he seems to have pulling a number out of my hat 8 to 12 cardboard boxes scattered across his floor right it's just a fucking pig sty not uns unsanitary, because they're boxes, but it's a mess. Yeah. And he takes the fire, moves it back, and the first thing I'm thinking,

being sort of a clear-headed bystander, is, dude, get the fuel away. You know, get the fuel away from that fire. The napkins probably would have burnt out into nothing if he just sort of set them on a hardwood floor. He could have left them on the desk where they were burning and left the house. When he came back, the desk would have been scorched and it would have smelled smoky. That's it.

I'm with you. Yeah. So then he picks up the fire. He puts it on the floor behind him by like these wooden closets. And he starts beating it with a cardboard box, right? Well, I think you're – I wouldn't say he beat that fire. Yes. He patted that fire on the back.

So what I was going to say was, but he did it like such a sissy, right? He was such a pansy. He pretty much fanned the fire, right? Yeah. He's fanning it. It was so lame. Like this guy, there was no testosterone this guy needs to be tested for low t like there was no manliness in him not a drop and and i don't

even want to make this a thing about gender i know lots of women who would have went in there and stomped that shit out like on a grown adult human being but no he responds to fire like an animal would like with confusion i don't think he'd ever seen a fire that big in his life it's quite possible because he handled it like an idiot and so so he was fanning slash padding the fire with a cardboard box now here's the kicker he realizes that this working, right? And it's clear to me that in a situation like this, you need to sort of get the fuel out. I have a friend who was a fireman in New York City. His favorite part of the job when dealing with high-rise fires was they'd smash the window. Someone on the ground would make sure that it was clear, but they'd smash the window

and they'd throw the furniture out the window it'd fall 80 stories but that particular aspect of the job he just loved get the fuel out of the room that's part of it beds pianos benches chairs that shit's gotta go they need an empty room in there because the um like the drywall and a lot of those other things aren't particularly flammable they don't burn well and and if you just get the fuel out you'll have a much easier time putting the fire down back to this guy he did the opposite he pat the fire with the cardboard box and then he left the cardboard box in the fire so now among all the others yeah now he's he's got that ball of fire you talked about but now it's

like two basketballs big. Yeah, it's knee high, thigh high. There's smoke in the room. Like it's getting smoky to the point where he's surely coughing. And he just runs away. No, there's more. Dude, yeah. So then he comes back with a blanket.

And he's going to smother the fire with the blanket. Not the dumbest idea, especially if it's, say, a wet blanket. But he fans the fire with the blanket for a little while and then, if I recall correctly, leaves the blanket in the fire. He's just, like, this is how you make a fire,

not how you put one out. Now he and his friend start doing, it looks like he has maybe a roommate or a friend or a neighbor or something. And he takes a pot of water, right? Like a pot you might make noodles with and pours that on the fire. And it goes from like a waist-high problem to like a calf-high problem. He poured it the wrong way.

He poured it poorly too. Like he just like spilled it on there instead of like throwing it aggressively so it might like atomize a bit in the air and spread out over a big area. He just kind of poured it. I'm personally torn as to what the best way is. If you have a real limited water support, you might want to care for every drop of it. Or you might splash it. I don't know. I don't know.

But he poured it, and it went from waist high to calf high. I felt like if he had poured it and then stomped it like he had a pair, he'd have solved the fire. But he pours it, and then somehow he allows it to regrow. And he pours it again. It's taking him like a minute. It's like he's going out to the well to get that water. Yeah, it's taking him.

And you said there were two people, but Japanese people all look alike. So I just thought there was the one guy. I thought he was just working hard. there were two people, but Japanese people all look alike. So I just thought there was the one guy. I thought he was just working hard. There were two. They were dressed differently and stuff. Are you sure? Yeah. Maybe he was changing clothes as he ran out of the room.

That would explain why he was so slow. It's taking him so goddamn long to come back with that water. So the two of them, the other guy only poured the water once, maybe twice. And they're taking turns. But the water, every time they pour the water, they make significant progress. But they never seem to follow up the pouring of the water with, like, the proper beating, smothering technique that would take it down to zero. And, by the way, the room is getting smokier and smokier through all this. By this point, like, it's dangerous.

The camera's having a hard time focusing because it's not it's just can't get what cameras do is they seek edges and then they just sort of adjust until those edges get crisp and nothing's crisp with the damn smoke in the room and and you're watching this and it's high and uh so oh and by the way after the blanket i don't know if i mentioned that he leaves the blanket in the fire like i'll just leave this here to put it out while I'm gone. And they beat on it for a while. They pour water. And then, you know, it takes like a minute for them to come back with water the second time. So you're watching it and a minute goes by and he's not back. And then like two minutes goes by and he's not back.

And you're like, oh, no. And the fire just keeps growing and growing. know like and the fire just keeps growing and growing and it the whole time it's like well this is still recoverable if they somehow become competent right like if they teleported me to that thing halfway through this series i'd be like what the fuck are you guys doing get out of the way get out of my way get out of the way and i'm gonna be chastising you after this you know and but it's so anyway two minutes goes by three minutes goes by you realize they gave up on this fire yeah and um they're escaping at this point they went into escape mode something yeah something about it i could tell it was an apartment

as opposed to a house like houses tend to have or dorm houses tend to have real dedicated rooms, right? But he's streaming here, and behind him is his living room and something else. You can tell the thing's compact. It's Japanese, though. They have odd living arrangements. Well, the Japanese thing. But it did seem like an apartment for sure. It's not hard to say because I have an update. So anyway, I was pretty sure it was an apartment

and also he's japanese i think apartment living is really common so um uh anyway he abandons it and the flames just go out of control and the place gets so smoky until like another minute or two goes by where it just gets darker and now you're really not even seeing flames as much as it is a light source through the smoke. What are how many viewers he has at this point? So the apartment building went up. Several people died. Oh shit! Yeah. Oh shit!

I charged that little bitch with a crime! That's the thing. He is guilty of being a pussy and the sentence should be five years minimum, motherfucker! They'll heart you up in prison when you come out of there you'll know how to beat a fire down i guarantee it that guy was oh i yeah he's guilty of something yeah he's guilty of a crime for sure because he was i mean he was a minecraft player we gotta get this guy on woody craft that motherfucker was literally playing

with matches and burnt down an apartment building and killed people. And the worst part about it is in large part his incompetence is what's responsible for the whole accident. Not just his incompetence at playing with matches, which, god, you're a fucking adult and you haven't figured out how to play with matches

yet? Like, I play with matches all the time. And as far as putting fires out, like, i feel like i've got a lot more fire experience than the average person i uh i was go ahead i have a couple gifs um here i'm gonna link you there's just two here but they describe part of what we see. So look at how small that first gif is. Right? For people on audio only, what you see is a guy take an empty water bottle

as if there were water in it and try to put it on what I'm calling a basketball sized flame. There's so little water in there, you wouldn't even bother with it if you were thirsty. Right. I can't tell, might be 100% empty. Oh no, I can see, there's a hundred percent empty oh no I can see

there's a little bit a water bottle where the bottom like quarter inch has not even that it's just an infinitesimal now at this point it's a small fire it's very easy to put that fire out at this point sat on it game over it's done yeah and it wouldn't burn him a bit now scroll down to the next one where you see the back of the chair yeah he's building his campfire right like look at him he's padding it with a box but he's really just setting the box on fire and by the ineptitude. Those are the only two gifts I have of it right here. The video's there at the top.

I wonder. I kind of feel like at some point there's a crossover between incompetence and arson. Right? Like. Filmed this. This was live streamed. So, all right. So, I don't call this.

I wouldn't call this arson. He didn't mean to do this. He's just the biggest. First, he's the biggest pussy of all time. He really is. Like, before this happened, like, I would beat the fire out with my bare hands. Like, it just wouldn't happen. And by the way, the burns you would get from doing so would be minor.

Having had at least five campfires with Kyle, I can tell you, both he and I would have handled this situation without a problem. We both know how to start and put out a fire. There's video evidence of our fire stomping. Remember when we set the field on fire at my place? Oh, yeah. Dude, each of those fires were a bigger problem than this one, and they were separated by 100 feet each.

You know, they're 500 yards apart, and we still put that shit out. I own a flamethrower. I know a thing or two about putting fires out. And this guy knows nothing. I feel like whatever his lifestyle is, whatever lifestyle leads to the kind of grown man, and he is a grown man now that I look at him. I mean, he's Japanese and looks like that.

He's probably 45 like he's an eight he is a grown man definitely five hitters six head like that's not a four head yeah yeah he's definitely in his 30s or 40s or something like that and and and whatever lifestyle this guy has lived up until this point has led him to be such a pussy that he's completely incapable of putting out the the a minor fire i mean it's just i mean if he'd hit it with a shoe or a magazine and hit it like like when he's trying to hit the fire like i imagine myself doing it like bang bang yeah yeah like different angles and like using the bottom of just like crush out individual portions and then stomping and then just like by just just doing what i described would have killed it by 70

but he's just he pats it and then he leaves the fuel there to to burn completely incompetent and like i said it's borderline arson i don't know all right huh that's awful yeah i want to get i heard that from chiz so i'm looking for a confirmation source, but he like, you know, like, Hey, update on that.

Shit. Well, that's absolutely awful. Did you see the, uh, you ready for a new topic? I, I kind of just wanted to confirm.

Okay. Okay. Watching in real life recreation of a fire in The Sims. All panic and bad decisions as the fire spreads. These articles are great, but I want to know the update. Here's Kotaku. Is this a reputable news source source I feel like Kotaku is I keep hearing how they're like I read a lot of articles there I thought it was like a

gaming website the live streamer alright so according to one news report it's a house the house the second floor caught fire the 40 year old live streamer his 73-year-old mother, and 68-year-old father, and 62-year-old relatives all sustained injuries. We hope they're not serious.

So that combats what Chiz told me. Yeah. So it looks like he, his father, his mother, and his relative were all hurt. Those people were so stupid and inept that they managed to get burned by that fire that we were just watching burn on livestream. They weren't able to get out of the house

in the 10 minutes that ensued either. This means that 30 minutes later, when the fire finally started smoking out the downstairs and stuff started burning in too, they were still there to get hurt. I feel like these people don't deserve to live. Like, we don't need them. This one says it is a apartment.

Well, shucks. I really wish I understood. Conflicting reports here. Yeah. In any case, that was embarrassing, the way he handled that fire. Yeah, I guess we'll have to follow it up some other time i can't seem

to it seems like all these people writing stories didn't see much more than the video like i need some reporting afterwards that uh this one says no one is believed to have died i don't know so uh but yeah dude that that guy's been on my mind. He's an idiot. That's that. Did you see this MMA fighter shit himself? I did. I even have a joke for it. I've got the video here if you want to watch it.

Okay. Let's watch it together. It's not very long. All right. Hold on. I really need a PK and big screen so it doesn't mess the thing up but are you ready set play all right so now there's a guy one's clearly beating the other he's on his knees ground and pounding the guy who's on the bottom tries to get some sort of takedown but he's getting guillotine and

you can fur you can see it now. There's poop on his pants. There's poop on his pants. He has shat through MMA shorts. So he tapped out. Yeah, he's wearing, like, board short style MMA shorts, and he's standing up, and the opponent who just beat him is sort of treating him respectfully. He goes to pat his back. Now he steps back.

He's like, you are shitting yourself. There is poop falling out of his short legs and the red light even the rest This is not my job There's poop all over he's he's leaving a trail like a dog that stepped in shit It's a very watery food and the crowd has queued in on it now And they are laughing and they are really getting a they're really they're really laughing at him a lot Oh, and then the camera person zooms in on the shit. Oh my god. Oh, there's like chunks in there Why would he eat this before fighting so that? When I read about it before I had heard about before I saw it

I was gonna say that oftentimes these fight the fighters take diuretics so they can make weight. But he doesn't look like he made weight at all. No. He's fighting in some sort of super heavyweight class. Yeah, he's fighting in some sort of weight doesn't matter class. Both he and his opponent. This is an amateur thing, not UFC. Now, the video just ended because he had to make this walk of shame in front of the crowd.

But if you go to a minute and nine seconds let's I'm gonna get there and pause I Make it a minute and seven that's better Apologize let me get there I'm gonna go to oh god. I think I know I'm gonna be first you oh, I'm in the wrong So suck so and one minute seven seconds you can see some members of the audience are polite enough to avert their eyes, right? Look at the guy on the left. He's got gloves on.

He's got gloves on, so he's like a cut man. He works there. He's working right now. Averts his eyes. Guy next to him, blue hat, probably also because of the row of seats they happen to be in and that rail behind them. These guys work at the show.

On 107, you say. I'm at 108. Let me back up a bit. Yeah, 107. You can see there's a rail there that's clearly separating fans from people who are part of the show in some way. Both those guys averting their eyes. Guy in the background standing, gloves, averting his eyes. Everyone, let's play and then let it roll for a second or two and you can say look

the guy the blue hat is covering his nose of course the woman and the douchebag with the the woman's pointing douchebag with the phone was recording and every and as they walk more and more of the audience is taking their peek and looking the nicest of them all this gorgeous blonde chick who just completely zones out says fuck it and looks at her phone the whole time. Everybody else like, and they really clear the way for this guy as he walks, too. It's so embarrassing. And the crowd's laughing and booing and people going, you know, yelling he shit himself and stuff. You know where you learn a move like that?

You know where you learn that move? Tell? You know where you learn that move? Tell me. In self-defeces class. Ah, yeah. Self-defeces class. You stole yourself to prevent the rape. Is that what that is? Yes, from the league.

He's practicing self-defeces. Ah, I see. Yeah. I think he's from Colorado, and that fight was in Virginia it was like a small you know I'm sure it's a sanctioned thing but you know a small league or whatever you want to call it

but that's gotta be you know at first I guess he probably got out of there and like took a shower and somebody was like look Bob don't worry like nobody's gonna know about this like we're in Virginia for Christ's sakes. Nobody back home will hear about this. And here it is, like, super viral.

This guy shitting himself. And I can relate to this. While I have never shat myself in a sporting event or really otherwise where I just shat my pants full on like that, he full on shat himself. While that's never happened to me i mean you know shit does happen like i can understand an emergency what i don't understand unless it's that thing you mentioned with the diuretics although that is some chunky poop that's the thing about that's

why i don't say diuretics that's some chunky poop it was a mess i he ate a full meal um maybe maybe joe would be a good i want to ask you oh we know what he eats he eats a light meal that doesn't upset his stomach and he tries to go into the fight just kind of slightly hungry so he's not bloated that it's that's exactly how i would go into athletic competition of course i never did anything like joe but i know the scoop you know if you're preparing though you know i like i imagine like if I had to fight tomorrow, if I was like, yeah, noon tomorrow, I got to fucking fight that guy. I wouldn't go into that with a full bladder or a full bowel. No, sometime at 9, 30, 10 o'clock, you'd have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, nice sugary energetic protein meal.

You got something in your belly to fuel you and then by the time it's noon you're not hungry but you know you're not bloated you you don't you don't want to be carrying around some poop when you go into battle yeah you don't want to be it's feeling flat and you know like insulin your stomach full for sure what are you punching the stomach i always liked feeling a little hungry before swim meet like i it's my time to swim. I could use a bite. I nailed it. Like, that's how I liked it. Probably some biochemical reaction to being a little hungry before physical activity even.

Your body probably kicks in and tries a little harder. Dude, so I think we have our house sold. Right. We got an offer. We accepted the offer. And then after that, there's a bunch of things that happen. If you've never bought or sold a house before, I know you have, but people listening maybe haven't. After the price is agreed to, a home inspector comes and he's gonna find stuff.

He always does. He has to justify his price. It's his job to find stuff. And there's other stuff. Oh, and the appraiser has to agree that the amount you're paying for the price is fair. The appraiser works for the mortgage company. And what they don't want to happen, for example, is you to be like, all right, I'll pay half a million for the house. And then if the appraiser says, oh, this thing's worth 300K, then the bank knows that if you default, they're going to lose money. They want to know that what you're paying is. So the appraiser kind of like maybe worked with us. You know, he's like, all right, what improvements have you made to the house since you bought it last?

And my real estate agent is like, all right, you know, he's trying to, you know, figure out if the price works and such compared to comps and whatnot. And the appraisal went fine. And so they appraised it at what they're paying and now that's good. Then we had some repairs and the repairs were like four grand which was, I was expecting like $1500. So I went through and I didn't like what our contractor, like $450 in stuck windows. He's like for $450450, we'll go around, etc. Now, I knew we had just had, we had every wall painted in the place. Like, so the whole interior of the house was just freshly painted.

Like, that's what it is, you know? I went around the house, unstuck every window, we're good to go. They asked for, apparently, you're supposed to have a drain in the crawl space. Now, our crawl space is sealed. It's beautiful. It's not my current house, but the one I'm selling. You could eat in there. It actually, it's insulated,

but not between the house and the crawl space, between the crawl space and the ground and in the walls. And then there's a duct for heating and air conditioning. The crawl space is heated and air conditioned, so the air is always beautiful. It had rained here. Unprecedented. North Carolina broke a record for the number of consecutive days with rain, right? So we had 14 days in a row of rain,

and the home inspector is there while Hurricane Jaquene is overhead, and there's not a drop of water in the crawl space, and he's saying that we need it to be, we need to install drainage in there. And I'm like, you've gotta be kidding me. We spent thousands making that thing fresh. It's the nicest crawl space you'll ever find.

14 days of consecutive rain, a brand new record, and a hurricane overhead and there's no water. And you're saying we have to handle water? So they agreed, basically I went through, I fixed some little things and I agreed to fix some things, like have a contractor and certified to fix it. They agreed to everything. Now, we're golden.

If you get to this stage, 98% of the time, according to my real estate realtor, it goes through and we'll be set. I look forward to not having that house because it's like a point of stress like something could go wrong there. I'm like no one's in it right now It's not a huge financial drain because it's paid for but it is something of one there's electricity and things and whatever so I Look forward to it being gone. What are you going to invest that money into? Any plans? Yep. What I'll do is I'll look at the delta between the money we've saved for Hope's college account now

and what we would need to fully fund it and make sure that it's either nothing or fill the gap. I think I've already saved enough to send her to college for four years, if we haven't depends which one she what if she gets a scholarship somewhere very expensive but it's not a full scholarship i've told her the deal um we use unc she gets like a quarter scholarship to berkeley we've used unc as a benchmark right unc is a very good state school in the area and i was like i will like, I will fully fund that school. Room, board, tuition, etc. Free ride.

If you choose to go to some $40,000 a year private school, and she has good grades. She's on her role, National Honor Society, all that stuff. But she doesn't look like she has Harvard grades. If she had Harvard grades, I'd probably buck up and make that happen. role national honor society all that stuff but she doesn't look like she has harvard grades if she had harvard grades i'd probably buck up and make that happen but uh if for some reason she chooses like university of tennessee which is a perfectly good school but only equivalent to the ones in north carolina like unc the only difference it's out of state and more expensive she can pay

the gap that's the deal so um sounds fair yeah can pay the gap. That's the deal. Sounds fair. Yeah, so that's the deal that I laid out for her. I will pay for a very good in-state school, and if she chooses something that costs double that or whatever and wants to travel, she wants to go to university to Hawaii, yeah, you pay the extra. You pay the gap.

So that's the deal. So I'm going to take some of the money from the home and set it aside and make sure that that's a solved problem. That I no longer have to concern myself with her college account. Some of it will go to a pool. I think we'd like to have a pool for this house. I put $50,000 a year aside for my retirement. I'll do that. I do that every year.

I don't know. Probably S&p 500 for the for the rest so um yeah that's where it'll go nothing really exciting the pool's kind of exciting i guess yeah the pool is very cool yeah i uh i'm looking forward to seeing how that turns out because either you know you can go very generic with the pool and you can go very crazy with the pool like like pools are as cool as or as pools are as expensive as you want them to be dude we've gone up and down the flagpole on this pool idea for a while so one idea is to get a basic pool put in and then use it see how we use it and expand and build around it you know another idea is all at one time build the pool and then like picture some masonry around it like what they call an outdoor kitchen like a granite countertop a barbecue a grill you know a nice grill a sink and like a built-in fridge or something like that a fireplace um maybe a some

sort of screen for a projector tv out there like that guy on texas with the ranch has the most amazing backyard set up like that yeah like he's got a custom-made swimming pool that's like 25 feet deep i think in the deep end so he can high dive i love that his back porch ends and it's just a drop off down to it so he can like do legit diving off his, uh, his deck, I guess that guy could buy and sell me.

Uh, but that's, so we've talked about that. We've also talked about an indoor pool of sorts. Like it doesn't necessarily have to be like a full on grotto style. Like, I don't even know what that word means, but I picture like a,

that's like an underwater cave situation. Yeah. That's what I'm trying to say. Right. Yeah. It doesn't have to be that, but what but i picture like a that's like an underwater cave situation yeah that's what i'm trying to say right yeah it doesn't have to be that but what if it was like a greenhouse with um like an iron a cast iron stove in there and it was heated and so you just basically you know you could warm up the air and not too long and uh the pool's heated and it would turn an outside north carolina pool into like a 10 month a year pool right you know just to like sort of add to it and i'm not sure that's even that much more expensive than um you know the kitchen projector thing which would be more of a eight month a year pool yeah so uh there's like that it's like i said you can go

i don't know i guess you can get a pool for like ten thousand dollars or you can get a pool for a hundred thousand dollars that's kind of where it goes yeah so what we need to do is meet with a pool person and uh a pool man or a couple pool men and um and just sort of talk pools and see what they say and here's the thing so when i use a pool i feel like what i do is i dive in the pool i get out i dive in i get out etc or jump in you know it's like my most common activity i'm splashing around jumping in etc uh it turns out most people who have pools what they do is they kind of stand around or they play sports in it. And you have a decision to make in your pool, right? It's not going to be, you know, like community L-shaped giant pool.

Some people have a sports pool where the bottom is maybe like seven feet deep and the sides are like three. And it just sort of declines like a V shape almost. And, uh, you can play volleyball there. You can play basketball, you can do whatever. That's a thing. Um, some people have all shallow end because that's the good end. And they're like, if you have all shallow end, it's all good. If you have a diving pool, which is eight feet deep, God, you spend a lot of time from like five to eight and no one likes that part of the pool but i think i do like that part of the pool so i'm really trying to figure out what i think i like both parts of the pool i like playing like uh like sports games in the shallow

end that's fun but i also like like throwing like we used to throw coins like we throw a lot of coins um just lots of coins and i do that's what i do the whole day with dot was dive like i didn't i would always have ear infections because everybody else wanted to splash in the shallows and i wanted to see how many quarters i could get off the bottom before i ran out of air colin's 12 so it makes me wonder like how long is quarters on the like just fast forward two years he's 14 all of a sudden quarters in an eight foot pool are not glow sticks at night i don't know i i mean i think i feel like you could get both though i mean if you've got a pool man you're having like a custom pool built which i think is the way to go um you know

you could be like give me three more extra feet of shallow in how much would that cost you know like three right right bump it on keep extending it on out you could have both you know just yeah and then do anything you want and then they say like hey the cost of heating maintaining you know putting the like chemicals in and stuff it's based on volume so if you have an eight foot pool that's you know 40 feet long all of a sudden you're talking about a lot of water Are you sure you want to sell right? Yeah? Yeah, I think that's pretty much what everyone does nowadays. Yeah, no chemicals anymore salt I I'm not an expert. I really think they use chlorine to make the salt or something like that like it big bag of salt It sounds like you know more about this than me i just read about it online for

whatever an hour a couple weeks ago or something i'm no expert but um yeah so anyway they or what is salt like chlorine iodide or something sodium chloride isn't it sodium chloride i know they made it seem to me like you put the chlorine and fricking shock it and it turns into salt. I don't know. I don't know. But there's some sort of machine that still happens like with salt. You say no. Totally no.

I'm trying to find out if sodium, if salt is sodium chloride because I don't. Sodium chloride. You are right. Yeah. sodium chloride you're right yeah and um anyway so i'm no expert we need a pool guy and here's the thing so um chiz got me into adam carolla's show and i'm carolla has a tv show or had a tv show called to catch a contractor have you ever heard heard of it? Yeah. Yeah. I've heard him talk about on his podcast. The premise of it is they go to a homeowner. The guys had really bad experience with a contractor and Adam Carolla, who was a, he did, he was like a builder or something when he was 20, something like that a long time ago. And he gets a, his sidekick is like a current contractor and they look at how bad the contractor is. And they bring the contractor in.

And they're like, explain what a fuck up you are. Why would you install a hot water heater with natural gas headed to it in an earthquake area with no straps on it? Because I've never seen straps for a hot water heater. There's no earthquakes in North Carolina, I think. But in California, you're supposed to. And they just go through. Look at this sunlight. This thing leaks.

And they take a five-gallon bucket of water. They pour it out. And two of the gallons make it in the house. They're like, this is ridiculous. You've got no weather stripping, et cetera. And then they go and they have the contractor perform the fixes. And in some cases, the contractor perform the fixes and in some cases the contractor's like right you know he's like no i didn't want to do it that way look i had him sign

here and i had him sign here and they forced me to do it this way and i said it won't work and i was you know i made it and the contractor had all his i's dotted and T's crossed to where at one point Adam is like to the homeowner, wait a minute, you're the problem here. And that was fun to see. Anyway, that show has helped me hire contractors. We're going to have, for the stable, we're going to have someone else do the doors. This is what, yeah, so there's going to be a garage door, which is like eight feet

wide and then 17 and a half feet wide, like a roll up, like commercial door and motorized. And that's not the kind of thing that like regular people typically know. Like the chain that on the side maybe too? Like that, but on a motor. Yeah. Yeah. On a motor, I'm it so so I don't get like but for me I really enjoy using the chain because it's like because because

of the gears and the mechanism you'll you're able to lift that really heavy fucking door like almost effortlessly and it's just fun to do I enjoy using the chains on my doors um the reason is I'm almost always going in and out on a tractor and it's it's like that's what that door is for. So the tractor can come in and out or the lawnmower can come in and out. So with the tractor climbing in and out of it, it's like three times as hard as a car. Not hard, but a pain in the ass to climb down and like put the brake on and all that stuff. With a lawnmower, with a zero-turn lawnmower with a zero turn lawnmower it's still a bit like you got to

put the parking brake on turn the pto off put the thing on put the i guess i said parking brake but emergency brake and and then like you get off and you reverse the process and it sucks you really want a remote to open it like a garage you know it's it'd be like having a manual garage door for a car but three times harder because getting out is a way bigger deal. With a car, you kind of just put it in park and walk away. With these farm equipment, there's like five steps to perform to make the engine not turn off. And so anyway. Any mess up, you might kill yourself.

Well, yeah, I guess. So it's really nice to be able to do it from your seat i'd love to have a garage door opener on the tractor and just walk so i got a couple of stories the first one's kind of quick and not even that funny but it's kind of interesting so my dad has this guy who helps him uh it works with him i guess and the guy has really poor health he's getting pretty old now into his late 60s i guess and I guess. And he's supposed to be in the hospital right now, but he literally just left on his own recognizance. And he's over there working.

And the other day, he'd been working on a lawnmower at my dad's shop, and he'd fixed it finally, and he was going to take it home. So he borrows my dad's truck, trailer, and he's going to take it to his house and immediately jackknifed the truck and trailer. The back left, yeah, the back right bumper of the truck goes into the trailer, smushes in, messes up the fender, does about a thousand dollars worth of damage. Is this related to him just getting out of the hospital on his own recognizance? He's, yeah, probably. I mean, I doubt he can turn around without pain.

You know what I mean? Like, he's just, he shouldn't have been doing it. He just shouldn't have been doing it. And so today, my cousin Scott and I are sitting there just bullshitting, just sitting under the shelter talking. And that guy comes up and he says, there's a tree down in your dad's driveway uh i'm gonna go get it so the the construction guy can get in and out of the driveway

and i'm like okay and but he wasn't really asking permission he was just letting me know what he was doing and he gets on my dad's newer tractor um and just takes off and he's in like c1 whoa like like c1 is a pretty high gear and it's too high for him to be like putting around in the middle of the yard he's whoa he takes off of this thing i look at scott i'm like that's not good is it he's like no luckily dad caught him before he could get all the way to the driveway because it's really steep dad was like i saw him coming down the road in that fucking tractor he's i had to get him off of it this is the 50 horsepower john deere yeah yeah i don't it's 45 50 something like that it's the the bigger uh newer one that he's gotten

um that and then scott was telling me about his job so he i didn't know it but he works like all over the nuclear reactor and sometimes he goes into sensitive areas where he has to wear a radiation-type suit and respirators and stuff. He'll wear a rem meter thing on his vest. He's got one that's for the day in case he gets exposed to radiation immediately. He's got one that's cumulative for the whole year. He said he's allowed to have like 500 millirems a year or something like that.

But anyway, he was talking about this whole process that you have to go through where they go into like a locker room and they strip down either to your underwear or bare ass and then you get into the suit you're going to work in. Can I interrupt? Yeah. I once read about a guy who had that like cumulative thing, but I think his was on his helmet.

And he's in this pipe that's hot with radioactivity. And I don't know about Scott, but when this guy met his yearly radioactivity exposure, he couldn't work anymore until the next year, but they kept paying him. So what does he do? He just fucking puts his forehead on the pipe pipe builds the thing up to be his yearly thing and then gets the rest he put his forehead on something radioactive take it off and so he's just you know doing this until it's so hot he's taking the radiation straight to his brain. And now he's like, I outsmarted him. Now I get off for the rest of the year.

Scott said that there's parts of that place where the pipes, like the coolant pipes that are like all around you in some places are just covered with lead blankets everywhere. Just like jerry-rigged nuclear radiation protection. He said the floor will just be multiple lead blankets stacked on top of each other that you're walking on. So you've got to watch your footing. Um, and, uh, and so anyway, they're in this locker room where they strip down naked or to your underwear and

you get into the suit you're going to be in. He said that because if you get exposed to anything, uh, or even a little bit, like not even a dangerous amount, if you get anything on you, then you lose all your clothes. He's like, and and i like my underwear so he's like so i strip down bare ass whenever i do it he's and we're all in there you know and and uh and i looked around everybody was kind of like turned away and kind of like put their dicks away and i was just like what's going on and the guy next to me was like and he's like i looked turn around looked around the room i was like what what he's like he's like i looked again i was like dude what the fuck are you trying to tell me just spit it out he's like used to be a girl there's a guy in there working on the forest who apparently used to be a girl and is now a guy and i was asking asking about that. He said, well, I saw her last year,

and she was sort of a short tomboy-type girl. But now she's a man. And I was like, well, does she have a dick? And he's like, oh, yeah, she's got a dick. He's like, she flopped it out. He's like, it must have been 10 inches. He's like, flopped it out he's like it must have been 10 inches he's like he's like i put mine away he's like he's like i couldn't stand up to that he's like it put mine to shame was this scott or the guy telling the story scott scott saw the dick and i'm like are you sure it was a dick

it was attached he was like i looked pretty good it was attached and i was you sure it was a dick? It was attached? He was like, I looked pretty good. It was attached. And I was like, maybe it was a fake dick that she's wearing. Like, and that, I was like, I don't think, I was like, what would they even make a dick out of? Like, she'd have to have one meaty pussy for them to form a 10-inch cock out of it. Like, they got to cut all your toes off to form that much of a cock. How do they even make it? Because, like, the inside of a pussy is a little bit like the inside of your cheek right that would be like a burn victims penis or something I don't know I know a little bit about male to female sex transition

surgery they're in a way sort of turning your dick inside out yeah and then shoving it in and you have to have these like vaginal dilators that you wear that keeps that cavity which is your pussy pussy, from healing back together. It's a whole thing. I've seen some evidence on Reddit which suggests that occasionally they are highly effective surgeries. But as far as forming a dick, we were all sitting around talking about this today. And we're all swimming in ignorance around the subject. So my dad's like, maybe they get it off a

cadaver maybe they stuck some dead man's dick on her and i was like you know i'd like a black dick if i had to choose i was like if i was gonna do that i think there's a lot of women out there who like want a black man like that's kind of a thing that they fetishize um but they but they just wouldn't they they just wouldn't for whatever reason. Cultural stigma or what have you. I was like, but if I had a black dick, I think that'd be okay. I'm going to look into this. I'm going to find out if I can get

me one of them black dicks that they're swinging around just attaching to little girls. That would explain the 10 inch thing too. Well, it was white. It was a white cock. That was confirmed. He said he didn't get a great look at it, but he definitely looked at it long enough to determine that it was...

And I'm just befuddled by the whole thing, because first of all, I wasn't aware that that was a thing that was done. I know that I have seen where women are on enough testosterone, their clitoris turns into kind of a small penis. That's kind of what a clitoris is to begin with, And it gets, like, that long in extreme cases, it seems. Like, maybe that long. But still, it's not a dick, and it's certainly not 10 inches of steel. And that's what he was describing.

He's like, when he took off his underwear, he was like, it flopped out. He's like, he must have had it, like, curled up like a fucking elephant trunk or something like that. Because this thing was like out of nowhere and so so i told him i was like dude you gotta go back and do some research on this you gotta ask this person what's up you gotta eyeball this thing you gotta snap some pictures if you can i was like i was like but but i wouldn't be skittish around this person seeing my dick i was like those guys are all just ignorant.

I was like, I bet he is less interested in your cock than you are in his. And matter of fact, I guarantee it because we're all talking about it right now. But I want to know more about this penis that this person supposedly have because I see a few possibilities here, right? So, A, this is all bullshit. There's just a guy and they're confusing this whole thing and they were just fucking with scott although it's weird that all the guys turned around and were like like trying to hide their nudity from this person so i think something might be going on

there so let's let's go under the circumstance that there is a transsexual here maybe it's some sort of art of like fake penis that's just cosmetic, right? Because I know that in some of those pornos you see where there are enormous penises that are like 14, 20 inches, whatever, and it's just absurd, like novelty porn, those are fake dicks. They graft onto a real dick, and it's visual effects. It's makeup effects. And they make it look like the guy has literally a horse cock or something.

So his real cock is in there. Yeah. I've always wondered how they did that. If it's like enormous, like it's like this big around, then it's like longer than a gun is or something. Like yeah, they've got like a fake dick stuck on there.

They fake cum. Somewhere along the way, someone told me that like the monster cocks are an extension onto an existing cock. Like you take your describing. Well, what you're saying is a little different. Like what you're describing is kind of like an oven mitt that fits on top all the way to the base. That's how I picture it. But what I always thought it was, was more like a dildo that attaches to the tip.

So whenever I didn't see any like break in the middle, I was like, I guess that's a dildo that attaches to the tip so whenever I didn't see any like break in the middle I was like I guess that's a real cock I don't know it just seems too big but I so I'm not an expert but I know there's definitely those that go down to the base but there are of course those that stop in the middle you can get those on Amazon I think let's see let's confirm this but but but i want to know more about this because if this person somehow got um i i don't know what like like they didn't grow a dick like they didn't they didn't do that yeah here's a penis extender this thing yeah i see one but this wouldn't fool anybody no not not even in the slightest and like she doesn't have anything to attach on to either

presumably so yeah i don't know said he didn't see any straps or anything i would totally be like all right did you used to be a girl yes my friends and i i saw your cock what gives what gives what gives is perfect like you know like it's huge i put mine away how they do that and and i i feel like if someone said that to me i'd be like huh i'm glad you like it i'll explain i didn't hide my nudity because I was embarrassed. I hid it because I was ashamed. That's pretty related. It's different. I hid it because I was inadequate. You'd be embarrassed in front of a woman, but you wouldn't be ashamed. Well, I guess it depends.

But in any case, I want to know more about this situation. I need to know if this is a rubber dick, if it's a cadaver cock, rubber dick, if it's a cadaver cock, if it's a homegrown penis of some kind. I need to know what... Did they take some parts of her and fabricate them into this thing? That's what I thought they did. They took her vagina canal, brought it inside out the other way, and turned it into a penis. But I can't explain why it would look like exterior skin. No.

So I'm missing some pieces here of the puzzle. But the whole thing to me was just hilarious, and I gotta know more about this. I'm gonna push him to... He's looking at some other job that pays... that has a different pay structure that he likes better that he's thinking about switching to. So I'm hoping he sticks where he is long enough

that I get to find out more about this person, because I want to know. So while I can't speak for his industry in particular, like, you know, welding and stuff, I can say safely that the economy is going well. And at least a year ago when I was hiring construction contractors, they were booming. Like it was hard to find people in certain fields. Finish carpentry, for example. They were just all stacked up forever. You know, even now, I forget. Oh, I wanted to hire

a siding guy. He's like, just to let you know, we're solid for four weeks. You know, we wouldn't be looking at your house until four weeks from now. And it says on my screen that I... it's my internet. It's my internet. But I wonder how Scott will do when the economy is not booming like it is right now. I hope it's awesome. Oh, you coming back? Are you there? There, mic check. It's my fault. I usually have the most reliable internet that you'll find, and right now I don't. So I'm sorry. I don't know where to go from here. I can see that, I think he's trying to reconnect,

but it's not reconnecting. Oh, he says, Kyle says he can hear me, but I'm doing a ping test, like just pinging Google to see if I, and it says I have no connection. So it must be a really bad connection or something. But anyway, I hope that Scott has as much success in a down economy as he does in an up one i hope that it's not really uh um you know how many dicks should we all that came in just for a second uh but anyway we're nearly an hour into the show i with these internet connection things i guess it's a good time to call it a wrap and and PKN a success. I really thought this was a good episode between the fire talk and obviously Kyle excels at tranny talk. I like the show. So if you guys did too, then check out the Patreon, patreon.com slash PKA.

And maybe you'd like the version with the video. So anyway, that's PKN episode 60. I hope you enjoyed it and have a good day.