Painkiller Already - PKN 614

Episode Date: May 28, 2026

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PKN 614. How you boys doing? Pretty good. Doing solid. What did you guys do? Anything fun for your Memorial Day weekend? I played video games. Did Memorial? Change it up a little bit. That's why the ribs were bought one for you. That's what I did.

I bought ribs. You didn't put it together? No. No. Kroger runs great deals. I sent you that shopping list. That was awesome. I got all that for $23. after my like cashback rewards it's crazy that's a good deal you didn't do any i mean how the ribs turned out of course i mean fucking tremendous there's a little little three two one action little homemade sauce just amazing just melt melting melting in my mouth so what is three to one action i've never crossed

that on motherly smoke them for three hours uh and then you wrap them in aluminum foil with butter apple cider vinegar and apple cider uh tightly in the aluminum foil put them back in for two hours and then you unwrap them, put the barbecue sauce on them, put them back in for another hour, and that sauce gets all tacky and sticky. That sounds like such a pain in the ass. It's like the quickest smoke, like the three, two, like when it's like six hours.

Six hours. Yeah, but it's like, look, it's like an easy bake oven for a man, though. That's what smoking is. So like, your effort in all this takes place in these spurts every three hours, then every two hours, and then every one hour.

Like you do three. small easy. I kind of get it. It's like 15 minutes three times. It's not actually six hours of cooking. Phil seems like a lot. Oh, that's nothing though. That's a fast smoke. Like I did a pork butt last week. I did an eight pound pork butt and you make like pulled pork sandwiches and stuff like that at a pork butt. It's a big glob of meat. Yeah. 16 hours. I started it the day before. Yeah, you've got to be careful that it doesn't finish it like 4 a.m. Like you got to think ahead. He doesn't.

I just stopped playing rest for a second. I started it, I think it literally like 1 a.m. or something like that. Put it in and then went to bed. And then when I got up, I made sure the chips were still good. And it just all day, you know, into the afternoon until it was good. And it was, I ate pulled pork for a week. The dogs ate pulled pork for a week. It was eight pounds of delicious meat.

so nice. And it cost, like that, I think it literally costs like $10, $12 or something like, almost free. Pork shoulder and pork butter is so fucking cheap because you have to smoke it. Like you can't just cut it up into steak. So it would be no. It's really, it's like chocked. It's like really fatty. Yeah. Really, really fatty. Rinder all that fat out slowly. And it's, it's like tough meat too. So it needs all that time to tenderize. Yeah, it's delicious. Really good stuff. Do you have like the, the, uh, the accessories, like those Wolverine hands that you tear it apart with? No, if you need the Wolverine hands, then you haven't let your meat rest long enough.

It needs to come down to like 140 degrees so that it won't burn your hands when you use your bare. I use just some surgical gloves when I cook, like black gloves, when I cook everything now. It's just so much nicer than constantly rinsing my hands every time I, like touch an egg or a piece of chicken juice or something. I'm just like a surgeon in there. But I can just tear it apart with my bare hands with those. and it's great.

I'm not patient enough for that. I start tearing soon after I pull it out. It's very, very hot. It cooked for 16 hours. It rested for three. Like I wraps it up and I've got a leather resting sack. That's very red dead redemption two of you. Yeah, yeah.

I look like I'm putting it in my like saddle bag or something like that to come on down to temperature slowly. I see people put them in like igloo coolers and stuff like that. So they slowly come down. the temperature and stuff like that. Yeah, it's, it's fun smoking. I like, I'm not, I'm not that patient. I'm not waiting more than 30 minutes with foil over it, letting that thing cool down. That, that's, and even that's crazy. Because usually at the end of the 16 hours, it's like, it's time to go. It's time to eat now. Because for the last eight hours, I've been like, oh, no, don't have anything. You got pork in there. And then sometimes you go, you take the temperature,

and you're like, that's not where I want it to be. An extra hour won't hurt. It's now you're nine hours of hunger. It can be really taxing. I don't mind. I like that part. I really like the part where I'm like really hungry and I'm cooking something that takes a long time and I'm just like starving myself until it's go time. I don't know. I like that. I always have to get like five different. I like hold a lighter under my palm and wait. Yeah. It's like it's like savoring the moment. It's it's it's a for food. I mean, I've been camping and hungry and I enjoy food even more

right? Then all of a sudden the muffin man shows up and it's like oh my God that's cooking is ever like throwing out the brand ones on the way like yuck makers can be choosers you know I went to under my grandparents' house uh over

went down Saturday hung out Saturday evening and Sunday evening there spent the night shot some guns a bunch the first first day and then the second day did a bunch of fishing and we're hoping to get these big giant catfish they have in one of their ponds but it's just not uh it's just the the line keeps breaking they've been allowed to grow for too long and so go noodling i guess we do but i don't know it's like catfish water i don't want to go fucking hang out in that that's that's gross

i'm too classy yeah noodle it's totally insane until some instagram shit who weighs 115 pounds does it in a bikini and you're like, this is possible? I seen it. I seen it. Yeah. Yeah. You know the girl.

Yeah. Well, she doesn't. I'm never into that girl. That girl, she's tobacco, I bet. That's a,

any girl who noodles is not, that's not, that's not, that's not material to, to, I'm not calling her a keeper. I'm calling her a borrower. Oh,

I, I, really? I mean, she could grab a nice big fish. Someone could fry it up for you. We only caught one in my grandma, fried it up.

I don't know how. I don't know how. of find her, Zach, can you possibly find the girl in the bikini who goes noodling? She's skinny. I bet she does a lot of videos of it. Probably so. Only got one. So it was only enough. It's terrifying, but

when they reach under those mud banks and snakes hang out under there and so do, I don't know what you call the big snapping turtles. I don't know what I've got a few animals that I've got like the country names for. You know what I mean? We call them logger-headed turtles. Or just

She's not the one I'm thinking of. I can't tell her face is real. It looks skinnier than that one. Yeah. She's got the gloves on. I appreciate that. It's hard to put it into words, but the one I'm thinking of is more Alabama.

She's damn near Manhattan. Yeah, she's, I've seen the blonde one. Not this one. Yeah, try to find this chick's daughter who also noodles. There's no way she noodleed that one. There's got to be some forced perspective there. I mean, maybe, maybe, but they get enormous.

and they haven't really evolved a defense for having a fist shoved into your throat. But that one's already dead. They haven't figured that one out yet. Is it? Yeah. That'd be knocking her out, spas and like it. I bet she beat it up a little first, but who's to say it's dead? No.

You think they wamped it over the head real good and then drug it back? Is this your girl? That's yet another one. I guess it's pretty. She also looks rather, she looks like the stripper who's just on the verge of retirement, you know? And they're Larpin. These are all dead. They killed it beforehand, went back out there for the pick.

Yeah, I need to see you pull it out of the water before I believe. Yeah. You heard smack to catfish in the head with like a hammer to kill it? I've beaten one to death before. Sometimes like I'll give it like a half swing and it's like, there's just no way this isn't dead, but it's still, and you have to give it like a wop, wop, wop. real quick. I remember shooting one in the head once because I, like, I wanted to be humane,

and it didn't seem like it would hurt anything. And we had our 22 for Snicks. And, uh, and I shot him in the head. Um, I've definitely beaten one to death before and I didn't like it. Like held it by its mouth. So it was flat on the, on the dock and just really went to town on the top of its head with like a, like a shovel handle that was sought off. But I didn't, yeah, like I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't like having to beat my fish to death. I usually let him go, almost always. well, not if you want to eat it. Of course, I wouldn't and then throw it back.

But like, yeah, I beat them up a little bit as a message. This last one's good. She pulls a live fish out of the water and then it, I don't know if it wiggles away. I stop watching it almost instantly

to bring it here. But Zach, can you show this girl? And that might be the same girl that he's talking about. I don't know. All people look the same. This is very cute girl.

This is much better looking. But hit play on it. See, this thing wiggles around and it too yeah oh she doesn't lose it she's strong as heck holding it correctly hand through the deal strong everywhere look at her legs yeah it looked like it hit her she looks like she got bopped a little bit there a little bit like I didn't like that okay they're so strong they're well she probably works out well yeah she certainly is too but those fisher are strong there's really not much to them other than muscle and like a couple of really

gross. There's like a weird yellow organ in there that I don't see I see in another fish but in other fish it's very reasonably sized in the catfish it's gigantic. Maybe it's the liver since they're bottom feeders. Maybe it's maybe their liver's working overtime to filter all the shit that they

it must be. When like we initially drive the gator over to the pond they associate that sound with being fed by my grandpa and so like you can see them out there like spazin but then they somehow figure out when there isn't a big bucket of food to say to them

just like after a couple casts they're like now this is it's these fuckers again they're here for us I'm so curious does he have like a new gator that's super nice or is it like 15 years old and been on the farm forever it's probably it's at least a decade old that's pretty beat up yeah it still works great

oh they're both good answers according to me like it works fantastic can fit all the all the beaten hammers in the back, the fishing rods, guns, if you need that. I've never shot one of the catfish. In my head, I was thinking about it because I had a 22. And I was like, well, I've beaten them to death before. And when you don't really crush them with that claw hammer on the first one, I feel really guilty.

Yeah. But I was also thinking, like, these things have like prehistoric, you know, spinosaurus heads. Like, what if that doesn't even do it? Oh. There aren't any animals that are bulletproof. I always, it's not as funny now in retrospect, but that time Scott and I were hunting in Texas, and we had our big 308 semi-auto rifles, and we saw that, what's the Armadillo?

And he was like, you know, I hear those things, those shales are bulletproof. And as soon as he said it, I went, and just blew the fucker up and like, nope. I heard wrong. Clearly not. Yeah. Yeah, it was a fun Memorial Day weekend and then came back Monday morning and did some drywall repair. And that was the end of, oh, so much fun. So much fun.

I had a weird water leak in my basement today. It's been raining here for a week. I don't know where the water came from. It was in my gym in like the lowest spot in the floor, I suppose. And I can't find where it came from. Not the ceiling, not the walls. It's in the basement. In the finished area?

Yeah, it's all finished down there. It has like a gym purpose floor, like some squishy stuff, like this mat down there. And I don't know where the water came from. I think it may have actually seeped up from the ground, but that doesn't make sense. Because it's clean water. It's clean. Like it looked like, I mean, I wouldn't drink. it, but if I needed to drink it, like, that's the floor water I'd pick. It looked pretty good.

And you probably have a sump pump. Like, no. No? No. No. No. No. No. I don't know where it came from. I found it this morning at like 4 a.m. and mopped it all up and now it's gone. But it's been raining here all week. I mean, it's genuinely like a rainforest. Like when I opened the back door to let my dogs out, the humidity and it's everything's dripping, everything's green. I hear the like it's tropical down here it's wild that's how it's been here too just nothing but rain for the past couple weeks something pumps going off more often than I would like and I'll like look outside because it exits near my bedroom when I hear it turn on and I'll just see the amount of water it's pumping out sometime and I'm like that's insane the amount of water it's pumping

out it's not like a little it's a it's a lock and load volume of water spilling forth into my yard. Why does it bother you that your sump pump is running? Oh, it doesn't bother me. It's just, uh, I, when it runs that often, and I, it's,

it's not like I'm, like, not used to that when it rains here all the time, but when it like is running like multiple times an hour during the rainstorm, I just always have, because now I'm gun shy and scared of, of more,

uh, flooding issues in the best, what happens if it's not reliable. And so like, I'll check and be like, oh man, that one pump would have been enough to, ruin my day if it would have been shot out onto the new floor down there.

Makes me, makes me anxious. You only have to have a flooded basement once to like dream about it. Where I've had, I've had dreams where like, it takes me looking around and then being like, this isn't how, wait, this isn't how my basements laid out. Oh, thank God. Oh, thank God.

Yeah, it's all. Because you don't, it was like $15,000 worth of damages at the time it did it. Like I had just put in nice hardwood floors and they were ruined and they were glued down to the concrete these floors. So they had to be torn up by hand by a crew and every time. They didn't come up nicely. They like splintered.

Right. Because it was real wood. So it's like splintering and it's coming apart in layers and like the bottom layer is still stuck to the concrete. And so they're like scraping down there. And it's so hard to scrape just a quarter inch of it away that they're like huffing and puffing. And they have to go get like a power scraper. And there's three of them power scraping down there.

That impresses me. I see people working that hard. And it's like I could work that hard for 40 seconds. 40 seconds that I'd take my first break. And these guys are just doing that all day to day. Glad you're here. Yeah. It was so upsetting.

It was so upsetting. I just hate that. So yeah, I'm pretty gun shy about the flooded basement thing too. I don't want that to happen. Plus, I've got a lot of stuff stored in the other half of the basement. Like, really don't want that to all to get ruined. And the worst part would be like going through it to figure out what was ruined and what wasn't and doing some sort of weird moldy triage on memories.

Like, I don't want to do any of that. Flooded basement sucks. Yeah, we had that as a kid. In New Jersey, my family basement would get flooded and, you know, sub pumps go bad and stuff. Of course, you don't know they're bad until the worst timing ever. And it would get deep, like two and a half, three feet deep. I don't know. I was little.

But as an adult, I've only had cross spaces. So I don't have that. Yeah. I mentioned it. This was probably six, eight weeks ago now that real early one morning, I heard the sum pump sounded weird. and I had just had the engine on it replaced because the old one went bad and I went down there and it was like spitting water

onto the new floor like it wasn't going up all the way it was like I caught it early enough that I was like towels this that oh and then clean it with towels it's not that bad yeah and well then I also got two big dehumidifiers because like in the floor that had just been laid

that plank floor that just been laid in the closet where the stump is I turned those on because I could hear squelching when I stepped on the new floor and looked it up online. It's like it's waterproof. You know, it'll be fine. Just turn on the dehumidifiers. And I just, for for a month, I left dehumidifiers on, even after it was very obviously fine. I pumped out enormous amounts of water.

Oh, it was obviously fine. But I was going down there every morning being like, yeah, there's some more, a little, little bits of culprit, dump that in the shower basin. The first thing I did when I was after mine flooded was get a big dehumidifier. And it was pumping out gallons and gallons a day just out of the air. Like I would go down there and I'd be like, holy shit, it's full in like three hours. Like it's full of like it held like two gallons, three gallons, something like that. I'm dumping it out the back of the basement and loading it up again. It's just sucking it out of the air.

The whole place is soaked. I was paranoid about them in my head. I know that dehumidifiers shut off. when they get too full. They just turn themselves off. But in my head, I'm like, all it takes is one time for something to not go right. And then it's spilling.

It's treasure all over. And so I was like, I was emptying it out before they were even halfway full every morning. But everything's good down there now. Thank God. That would have been devastating. That was like two weeks after all the floor had been completely finished in the house. The basement had been done a little bit longer.

but yeah I'm sick of the home improvement stuff almost done oh yeah yeah well for now what parts did you do yourself drywall stuff I did the basement flooring

how did the drywall turn out did you get good at it by the time you were finished by the time I got done with it like it's not bad it's like fine like you can't tell the areas I didn't do all the drywall but I did a lot of like patchwork and shit. The basement floor,

me and my brother-in-law did that, just saw on it and putting it all in. And a lot of demo. But like, and then upstairs, I had pros do the upstairs floor because that was a much more complicated area. The basement room wasn't nearly, but you might have higher standards for it.

Yeah, it's more public. public facing and whatnot. But yeah, and then other than that, just a lot of demo. And so what kind of saw did you use for the cardboard floor? Whatever the one is where you go yeah. Compound mitersaw. Compound mitre saw where you pull it. Yeah, I know. What sounds in bed? It goes rum. I wish they acted like I needed that to identify the song. It was one of those saws where every time you pull it down, you're like, man, this is going to go right through my hand.

Yeah. The thing about that, to use it safely, you keep it in the material until it stop spinning. That's like the big safety tip instead of lifting it while it's still whirring around. But you didn't get hurt, so we're good. For next time, I'll remember to not lift it up when it's still spinning. Yeah, the next one has a better break. slam it into the wood. No. I knew that's what we'd do in shop class.

We'd put chunks of wood in there and then chop them to like to the blade would hit it and shoot it out the back. I mean, it wasn't your style. I think it'd shoot it out the front actually. Yeah, it would shoot away from you. A radial arm saw, though, would shoot it towards you if that's what you're going for. Me and my buddy Boone would always get left behind when the shop class would go to do some sort of outside work. Like they go to the football fields to work on the bleachers or I don't know. something like that and Mr. Cotha couldn't trust us to go on the trip so we get left behind.

But that was a huge mistake because he left us like in charge of the shop essentially. So like, you know, we get the nail guns out, have a little battle. I shot a bird off the power line one time with the nail gun holding the little thing back. You just let you leave class with it? No, no, we're there. We're in class. The class left, though. We stayed behind.

Damn. Class has a big garage door that opens up. to like, I don't know, not a parking lot, but like a lumber storage, like back lot area where there's no supervision of any kind. Like, they didn't care what happened back there. We had shop class. That always sounds in movies and stuff and from friends, like a fun, semi-fuck-around class. And we didn't have one.

We had to do a class. My father wouldn't let me take it. I had to take accounting and business and personal finance courses and shit like that. damn, which maybe he was right. I don't know, but then I spent a bunch of money on shop equipment so I could do it later in life. We learned masonry one day.

That was fun. We all like, you know, made brick walls, and then they graded the brick walls we made and, you know, like, we're doing all that stuff. And we would, uh, how was your brick wall? Do you remember? It was good. I had done it before. My dad, when he was very young, his, my dad's

grandfather was a brick mason. And, uh, he lived, with them for like his formative years I'll say like his 12 to 16 or something like that so he worked as a brick mason from 12 to 16 or something like that so I knew what I was doing kind of like like you know I got the idea I had done it before head start we would we didn't like build birdhouses we always had like real what felt like manly construction projects that we built sheds and like buildings and we do like we do the shingles on top frame them up put doors on them everything and then They would auction these like sheds off.

The school would. And they would fund the class with that money. All the construction classes did that. Metals would make cattle trailers. Automotive just did oil changes for people. So when you're taking the class, you're changing like teachers oil and parents' oil if they brought their cars in,

stuff like that. And, you know, money's filtering back in. Did teachers get it for free or not so much? I don't think so. I don't remember, you know, I wasn't there for like the changing of money

or anything. I just knew that like, oh, this is Mrs. Andrew's car. We're changing her all today. And we would joke about doing something to her car. That was always the thing. Like, oh, we're going to cut her brake lines. We don't get it. You mentioned oil. Have you followed the Iran thing today? I heard that there were more strikes by us in southern Iran or something like that. And Iran says we violate the ceasefire. We hit some missile sites and I think some drone boats on the missile side. On the missile side, I'm sure about.

And I don't know what this means for the deal or what the deal is supposed to be. Trump, like he always does, acted like the deal was better and closer than it really was. And then Iran corrected them and they're like, we don't have the deal that he says he does. We have like a framework for starting to talk about a deal. And so I guess we're not as close to a deal and now we're striking them. We'll see where this goes. I bet it's 95% done aside from the ceasefire and the straight of Hormuz thing. Right.

And the nuclear weapons. And the nuclear weapons. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And other than that, I bet it's all sewed up. Like it's just, and their ongoing military capacity. We have agreed on the placement of the flags. We are almost in agreement on lunch for that day.

We're getting close. We're getting incredible close. Yeah. Lady Vance does not want falafel for the last goddamn time. We'll walk out of here. I don't know if I've ever had falafel. I need to look up what that looks like. Is it like non-bread?

I picture it to be like non-bred. Deep fried balls or patties made from chickpeas or fava beans. No, I've never, I've never had this. This looks way worse than the, uh, whatever that shit's called where the Turkish guy carves it off the spinning meat. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, the swarma. Schwarma. Yeah.

were you about to say something, I feel like I cut you off. I don't think so. No, just randomly talking about the Shorma. Yeah, I don't think anything's going to happen. I don't care anymore. I'm going to stop watching. I'm pretend like there is no war in Iran.

There's nothing I, you know, I give up on caring. I quit. They can't make me care if I don't want to. I just hope it doesn't mess with my UFC fights. That's all. As long as you don't take that away from me, I'm all good. You know? Zach, can you put the photo up?

I'm torn on. the using the White House thing. Half of me says, hey, this is the people's house. It's kind of dope that we're like using it for people stuff. And it's not just the president's like, you know,

personal boondoggle for four or eight years. And then part of me is like, we're kind of disgracing the White House by holding like blood sport there, which used to be a 250 pound chunk of cheese in the Fourier that people would hobble in off the streets and nibble from, you know? Now, that was the people's house. Is that great depression? No, before that.

Some president got gifted an enormous amount of cheese, like a white elephant amount of cheese from like France or something. And then the French were probably laughing at us like, oh, ha, it's going to smell like sheet before they know it, no one about the cheese can be eaten. And then the president just let them in and was like, cheese for all. And they're like, man, this guy's the best. Like, you feed this old cheese. That's the original government cheese.

Yeah, this looks cool. This looks better and I thought it would. And clearly they're just getting started. You can kind of imagine what it's going to be. I saw some renders where there's sort of, I don't know, oh, that's a better angle. So where those arches are intersecting, there's like a canopy that goes on them that sort of is like the top third of what those arches do

is like covered in canopy. So I guess that'll help them with the rain. any were to happen. Unless it's super windy, right? Yeah. Yeah. And I haven't seen, I've seen mockups of what the seating is going to be and it's a lot, but it wasn't to scale. So it's, I don't know, I look forward to seeing it done. This looks pretty good, though. This is a good start. It's very close to the White House. You guys were looking forward to the rain element. So if it does, hopefully it is a little windy. That'd be fun. Yeah, I, in the same way that the, I think it's called the winter classic just makes

NHL hockey kind of a special event. It's a little different. Sometimes the players are freezing. Sometimes the weather's snowy or you know like it's inclinning. You know, I don't want it to be all the time. I don't want it to be an outdoor sport, but for a change of pace, it's super cool to me.

That's how I feel about UFC. Yeah, let them fight some titles under a thunderstorm. That'd be amazing. It seems like it's going to be a bad, it might be a fun viewing experience for the people at home. but just like regular UFC fights. Like if you're just sitting on that lawn, like,

yeah, without sticking. They're not going to see shit. Are they putting in? Are they putting in stadium seating? Wait, do you think is the pictures too small? Well,

yeah, it's not scale. Like, like you can see the octagon in the very, very center of it. Like, also it's a quote from Zoolander

when they show him a model or something that's to be built. And putting you sure that's small. Like, how big is the white house pretty big, right? Now that I'm noticing those are not,

seating areas, then maybe it won't be that bad because those, maybe it'll be elevated a little bit. I was picturing like all flat. We'll see if it looks anything like that. You know what I mean? Like, clearly the arches aren't right. Like, look at those arches. They've got like two parallel arches rather than. Can you zoom in a little, Zach?

I am struggling on this thing. This looks, yeah, this is like a concept car version of it. It won't zoom. Yeah. I full screened it. That helps. describe it to you, Woody. Don't worry. She's like a box.

Well, if Michael Beasley gets it wrong, I don't know who to trust anymore. Yeah, I'm looking forward to this thing, man. I really hope we get like some good moments. I want to see some trash talk. I want to see some microphone stuff. And I want to see Trump involved. I really do. Like, I kind of like it when he's at the events. I agree. Let's put him in the octagon. Pardon? Put him in the octagon, maybe heavyweight. Ooh. I love it.

That would be cool if they had a little fixed fight for Trump. I like that. He's got a win in your world. Trump has to win a fucking win. Oh, my God. The president's going to lose this fist fight at his event. They got a Putin in him. Absolutely.

He can't beat anyone. There's no one on the planet that he can beat. Well, Osama bin Laden isn't true. Ooh, the exhumed corpse of Osama? Did you see? It's so funny. I can't do that. He'd throw him in the ocean.

Great segue here. Did you see the interview? with Connor McGregor with the guy who shot bin Laden. I did not. Was Connor like did he, did he say he would have done it better or something? No. Connor's like gracious in real life.

Like when you see him in interviews and stuff, he's like him and the guy who shot bin Laden are sitting in an octagon like Connors, I'm sure, like shooting the shit. And Connor's like promoting his new energy drink. It's like Mac energy or something like that. Like that's how I'll get in those three training. sessions a day it's his Mac energy and the guy's like I hear that brother yeah he's drinking

he's known for gassing out carry on carol's nose is bleeding while he's talking about it it was nearly a decade ago when Connor gassed out and fights he's what he that's old news he's almost him to his 40s when your cardio peaks my bad I don't know what I was thinking so they're shooting him and the guy who killed Osama bin laden and the guys like these are actually the gloves I was wearing when I killed Osama bin Laden. And he tells the stories that I came around the corner and there he was and he reached with the gun and I pop pop, pop, and I shot him. And then I came and I shot him in the face.

And Conner's like, wow, wow. Just blown away by the story. He's like, and you know what? I want you to have one of them. That's got Osama bin Laden's DNA on it. And Connor's like, puts the glove on. So now Connor is wearing one of the gloves and the guy is wearing the other glove. And they continue their interview with it.

And every day Connor's just like, yeah. The guy's got a backpack of these. That's what I was thinking too. It's like the wings you used to get as a kid from the pilot. I'm a pilot now. Seeks out people with CTE and fools them with his stories.

I don't think Conner's got CTE. He actually sounds better than he has. I mean, I'm sure you've heard him when he's a bit manic and like clearly on like uppers, like cocaine or something. and he's talking way too fast and he's not making sense and he doesn't look good.

He looks much better and he's speaking clearly, which is like a good sign. I still like my bet with you. I'm glad we made that bet early. All the money's going to Connor's side already. Like people are betting on Connor. I'm still happy.

I have Max. Yeah, yeah, I would imagine so. I saw Max play in what, either Apex Legends or, arc. He's pretty good. He's pretty good. He's pretty good at both. I think he's better at Apex Legends, but he's definitely good. And he was funny

and with it. I didn't see the CTE that you did when he played with Peanut, but I don't get to, you know, all I'm seeing is his voice and like the gameplay. So I don't see like what he looks like and that might influence. He's always looked kind of like bad, like drained and dark circles under his eyes. And he always looks like he didn't quite recover from the last five like like like he's still a little beat up

his weight cuts can look a little hazardous too like especially when he's at 145 like he's just so drained somehow Connor it was like how do you do that because he's just he's so lean and so ripped and an absolute skeleton but he's screaming you know like into it max

is like flex, I need water. He's not hitting it. Yeah, he's not as genetically gifted. Connor had one of the scariest weight cuts of all time. When it's, I think he's, I imagine him wearing green shorts when he did it. That's probably not true. But it's the one you're talking about.

It's that one. When he screams and you can see like all the bones and his skull are showing. Yes, yes. Like you can see like his orbital bones and stuff jutting out. And he's cut down to 145. He probably cut. close to 20 pounds or something like that. Like he's not a small 145 or, you know.

It was wild. Yeah. YonC fighters are so impressive. I'm glad you guys are looking forward to it. It's going to look better in comparison after how bad the Netflix thing was, right? That was a bad. I thought guru was less than impressed about that. No, production value was excellent.

the production value was at least on par with the UFC and the fights like we said the fights were one-sided but that they were all entertaining you know you might have felt bad that junior des Santos was getting like put down like a dog or you might have felt bad that Nate Diaz ain't Nate anymore and he's he's bleeding everywhere and it looks dangerous but if you just came for a fight pretty good show I mean we need to make sure that no Americans lose on the White House card like you know where comidus gave

Russell Crow that little stab before he got in the ring with him like that like you kind of bleed out slow a little bit we need something like

that nothing that brutal of course but maybe like just a small amount of fent on a pocket sand yeah a little pocket

they're all in the ring blinking their asses off yeah that's what's going to happen they did not set this up to be like a home team America wins all the fights kind of thing

Ilya it's a mistake is he's going to fight Justin Gaichi and he's going to retire Justin Gaichi he's going to knock him out and it's going to be brutal that's just what's going to happen I am more sure of that than I was that Sean would lose his last

fight to Kamzaat like I just think it's so one side. Illia is like a young hot rod and Gaetie is over the hill he's done this is it yeah the people who beat gaichi ilia smoked him you know knocked him out cold

and uh and somehow they get they're gonna fight at the white house and it's gonna be it's gonna be a knockout people started getting down on the ufc during that time period and i think gaichi's rise was part of it they had them fight patty right to get the shot and uh neither of those guys are contenders really and they just they're trying to either get gaichy or Patty into a title fight when there's much better candidates who should be there.

And Armors are next mismanagement. Is Patty Pimplet kind of like like Connor McGregor we have at home? Like as far as popularity in Ireland? Because he is. Well, he's not Irish. British, I think. Oh, I thought. Oh, British.

Yeah, he's Scouse. Is that a, does I tell you where someone's from? Liverpool. Liverpool, boy. Oh. Mm-hmm. Um, yeah. So he's English.

And I, I want to. to say his popularity. Like when he first hit the scene, everyone was really excited about this up-and-comer. And then he did or said a thing that was wrong. I think he won a fight that no one felt like he deserved and except him. And he lost some popularity there. But it's wearing off. I don't know. He walks in there. They sing the Patty the Batty song. They do the Patty to Batty Dance. And there is a chorus of people wearing wigs of Fatty the Batty. I bet he's top five fandoms in the whole UFC. I bet he's top five. Like I'm a big fan. Like, I love the song.

When he comes in, they're singing Patty the Batty or whatever, and he's dancing. And maybe they play Mortal Kombat music or something, too, at one point. And I'm just like, I'm so hyped. And he comes out and he's dancing and the crowd is like melting down. And they cut to the chorus of guys wearing the wigs. And they're like, ah, they're like losing their fucking minds. I'm like, yeah, that is Patty the Batty. Patty the Batty, an awesome fighter name.

Fucking sick. There's a guy whose name is like, I don't know his real name, but his spider name is, he's like, Jason, the body snatcher Morris. The announcer fucked up. And he goes,

Jason, the baby snatcher. And he couldn't like, actually, Jason, he couldn't redo it. Like, it's,

you know, you do it emphatically and you're drawn out of each syllable and stuff. The baby snatcher. That's so bad. After the fight, the baby snatcher's like, hey, hey, hey, I didn't talk to you. What the fuck was that? What was that? The baby snatcher?

I am the body snatcher. I know that you are the body snatcher. I will never make that mistake again. I am so sorry. I am so sorry. He's like, what baby snatcher? Fuck. His little promo is him like running past a stealing a child from a woman.

pushing a grandma down to the park taking her kid. Baby snatcher, yeah. I mean, that is its own type of sinister. Like, you try and keep that guy from snatching your baby. You can't. Jesse Ronson, I guess. He's due to me. Okay, yeah, he was new to me too.

I don't even know what organization it was. It may not even be the UFC. I mean, I just, I saw that clip of them getting his name wrong, and it was hilarious. I want to see the, the worst UFC nicknames of all time. Frank

Twinkle Toes Trigg Frank Trigg. Frank Trigg. Twinkle toes. It wasn't that a thing they would say about boxers in like olden days or something? Like or was that sarcastic?

Maybe. The first boxer and punchout was Twinkle Toes. I forget the rest of his name. He was easy to beat. Oh, well, that's not good. Nick, the promise. ring.

Okay. Thomas ring as he's like, yeah, he won't, he won't, he won't fuck you until you're married.

Jacob Christmas Volkman, have you heard of any of these guys? No. How do I not know these fighters? Would you anymore? Jules Cottonmouth from the South Bouches. Okay, I'm okay with that one.

Okay. How about this guy? Logan, the pink pounder, Clark. Okay, well, we probably should have put that one in for some sort of approval first. Oh, number six is Joe J-Low. The pink-pounder is someone who has sex, right?

Yeah, me too, me too. That's what he was insinuating. Number six is Joe Lohzan. Jay-Low? They threw him at number six. That doesn't seem fair. I don't agree. It's not very great.

It's just, you know. Oh, how about this guy? I like this one. Rick the ginger with intent to injure Fyfer Oh, I'm into that one I like that well his records 5 and 6 So he didn't stick around

His heart was in the right place Intent is two thirds of fighting Sean Big Sexy McCorkel I'm liking that one too I don't mind that Rory Red King MacDonald This just seems kind of generic Red King Brad

What was Red Eric's mom? Brandon, Oh, let me look on him up. He was known as Big Brown, the hybrid, the sting, or Bapa?

Bapa? I don't know if he was called Bapa during his UFC. I think he was Big Brown as a fighter. Oh, okay. And Bapa, it seems like an insult that people use during his podcast time, but I might misread the room there.

I don't know. Oh, how about, I like this guys. Dom, I hate you so much. Oh, Grady. 16, 8, and 1. So he was at least doing something there. Oh, Katie Flores. He's on there.

Ken Flo, that's not great either. K-Flo, right? Oh, they must have got that wrong. They said Ken Flo. K-Flo would be better. Yeah, these, man, I really, that's growing on me. Dom, I hate you so much, O'Grady.

You can work on that. I like a good fighter name. Like the Black Beast? Like, I love that. Like, notorious? Ooh. The blessed? I like that, too.

What was Nick Diaz? I can't remember what Nick Diaz is this. You see the good one? Or no, Nate was the thing. Nick, I probably Nate was the more accomplished one in the end. Nick spent a bunch of time in Bellator. Ronda's is obviously copying Routy Rottie Piper. Right, right, that's right.

I like Ronda Routy. Ronda. Routy, Rousy. Yeah. Do you know what your fighter name would be? Oh, I think I'd have to establish myself. You wouldn't just want to make something up out of holecloth. I'd have to sit down and make a big list. But the idea of like I hate you so much being a possibility,

is funny. You make the guy say slurs. If I'm good enough, I make myself one of those one-name people, like Prince, Madonna, Woody. Like, that would be my ultimate goal if I could just be Woody.

Who's in that league in UFC? Like who is just, you know? Just one name, you mean? Yeah. There's a lot of guys. I don't know.

Nobody says Fador's last name. It's like it's a, Emilienko, Emilianenko, I think. Amelianco or Emilianenko, those fucking Ruski's. But you say Fador. Everybody knows who the fuck you're talking about. Yeah. Yeah.

I can't think of more. Yeah, he was really good. He's on the short list for best heavyweight ever. Yeah. Yeah. His fights are extraordinary. And he fought in a league with lesser rules. So they're really fun to watch.

People get destroyed. I love soccer kicks, man. I love soccer kicks. I think headbutts are the thing that are left out of all these organizations. I think they're so effective. This is from internet videos. I've never seen a headbutt in real life. But every internet video I've seen where one,

I saw one of the other day where these guys are like, one of them is trying to fight and the other is trying to tell him, you need to stop or you're going to get hurt. And they end up in like, you know that thing where you'd like try to bend each other's fingers backwards? I don't know what you call. You're in that position. And the guy is like, I can't remember what he's saying exactly.

but like, oh yeah, yeah, well, let me show you a little something. He does like this, ha ha! And like headbuts him so cleanly right in the nose and knocks him unconscious straight to the floor. Like his nose just shatters instantly and the guy is out on the floor from, it didn't look like a super powerful headbutt, but just that, just enough to like come forward,

flick his head down and right in the nose and it seemed incredibly effective. I seem to change the grappling game too. If we're down on the ground and we're like close, like you've got your arm around my neck pulling me down so I can't post up or whatever and I just start giving you some little ones. Are you going from the bottom of the top?

I'm trying to picture this. I'm on top. Oh yeah. I could see that. Or what if, like let's say I have your back. We're basically both sitting on the ground like we're about to do a log flume, right? And then you start headbutting my nose, you know, while I'm behind you.

Maybe that makes rear mountain not as good as it used to be. It'd be a much bloodier sport, at least online when you see people get headbutted, their nose explodes. Yeah, I think head butts are, they need to be part of the equation. Or we're not actually seeing like real combat. I'd like to see some headbutts, but they'd be brutal. You know, like the headbuts and soccer kicks being really cool. I don't want small digit manipulation, fish hooks, eye pokes. I never know.

What does soccer kick mean? Just like running and booting? As you would expect, imagine your opponent is like doggy style and you just kick him in the nose. Oh. From either your standing. Should be allowed. You can kick them by not in the head. You're a downed opponent, which the rules concerning that vary from year to year and event to event.

But if you're on the ground, let's say you're on your knees or at least one of your knees and one of your hands or maybe one of your knees and two of your hands are on the ground. If you're down, you can't kick them in the head. You know what my calling card would be is that people would have to look out for me because I'd have my right foot would be one of those like Soviet boots where I stomp and a blade comes out the front. They'd be like, oh, Taylor's on his back foot, but don't forget, he was grandfathered in under the nice boot law. You know, that's what really makes a different level of fighter. But he's up against Woody the Revolver Woodworth. Also, grandfathered in from an earlier time that he's been tailored. Someone's got to get this guy out of the league.

The only phantom weight left or whatever. Woody, the gun. You're at the press conference. You've got the gun. nobody better talk any shit they're like calling a penalty when the other guy grabs the ring trying to climb out

you get back in there you want that you want that $4,000 fight bonus I understand it's grandfathered into our wonderful league but I mean the speed loader is absurd you know that his contract is ruining our game

that'd be fun for one. It's basketball in general though. Like I've been catching so many clips of the playoffs. Oh my gosh. The calls are so bad. The cheating is so bad. The no calls are so bad. Like, and like, I don't know.

I haven't seen anyone say it, but I just think it's a crooked sport. I think it's crooked. I think that like, the refs are in on it I think the players are in on it I think coaches are in on it betting is so big now I think everybody's

cheating everybody's doing something to make the game go a certain way when a prop bet about who's going to play three minutes versus five minutes or some shit and I think the refs are trying to keep the or betting on the score or something or being forced to bid on it by the mob or the fucking KGB or some shit

and I definitely think there's some sort of an artificial manipulated plan that they're always trying to put in place, like how many games they want a series to go or who they want in those series. It just doesn't seem like a real sport. It's undeniably been crooked.

I mean, people were convicted, so boom. And there's people under investigation right now that looks super shady, like the lesser known players with the parlay is like the kind of cow was referring to. Whether it's crooked, like in these playoffs, I don't know. I don't know that I've seen that. But Oklahoma,

League's MVP, Shea, I call him Gillis, and now I realize that's the other guy's name, but whatever, whatever, Shea Gillis, Alexander, SGA is maybe the biggest flop merchant in the NBA. And there's a new stat now for like unwarranted falls. Yeah. And he just jumps up and falls afterwards for no reason. This is a professional athlete in one of the most athletically demanding sports in the world. world who can't jump up and down without falling. Are you kidding me? Right? He's clearly fall baiting.

He sells contact that never happened. And it's effective, but it shouldn't be. And they need to start doing like what hockey does, which is if you pretend to get hit and you're not, that hurts you. That hurts your team. And it's a like league embarrassment. What is the name of the the Fallon hockey? Embelishment. They need to call and bet. There's a rule against it for embellishment. you know, like in the NBA. They need to start enforcing that. It should be a foul on you. Like you tried to,

you tried to like draw a foul. You should receive a foul. Yes. Yeah, I agree. Do that. Start making it cost your team wins. And it fixes it right away. Oh yeah.

And they have, look, now that we have replay and fucking lasers are measuring every inch of the court, and we know the rotation of the fucking ball on the way to the hoop. Like, just stop for a second. Like, sell another, go to another ad break. You'll make another $85,000 in 30 seconds. And let me real quick, take a look at this.

Oh, yeah, no contact. Foul on that guy. The other team come up here, shoot your free throws. Two more. You're at the game, buddy. Keep it up. Keep it up. We love it.

Does it. Right? So let's see you and I are playing. And they call a foul on me. I make the motion, tap my helmet, whatever, you know, whatever he works, and say, I know I didn't foul that fucker. Look at the tape. If I get it wrong, then I lose one of my two, like, calls.

If I get it right, then we go back and we fix it. Did you see Aaron Judge embarrass the hump the other day? No. The ump calls, it's three, two, it counts three to two, full count. And the ump calls strike three. Aaron Judge taps his helmet to challenge and starts taking his gear, taking his like batting stuff off and heading for first before they can review it. And the ump is just staring at him while he does it.

and they over call it, and he takes first base. It's just like, oh, we really rubbed that one in his face. He didn't even wait around. And it was clear. It's off the plate two and a half inches. It's way off. And they use a stat that makes it seem like it's only like 10% of pitches or something like that. But they're counting the pitches that get fouled off.

There's no call to be made there. They're counting balls that get hit that are in the field in general. no there's no there's no call to be made there stuff like that oh and then there's tons of pitches that are just clearly like the ball's in the dirt you're never going to call it a strike don't give them credit for calling a ball that didn't even make it to the bad or a ball like that's so then it becomes like 20% that they get wrong it's like 20 25% they're wrong on average it's unacceptably high potentially a quarter it's weird that people can't do it better than they do like I play a lot of video games. And if a guy doesn't die, oftentimes, I'm like, yeah, I know. I know. I could see I was

like two pixels off. Even though it was just one frame, I saw it. Um, Kyle cited in my rifle for me. You know how he does it? He watches where the bullet flies and then adjusts the scope and then it's right. And I was like, how do you do that? He's like, I watch the bullet. Now, these umps can't see the ball. Like, that's what they do. Yeah. To get it on that. I've never umpired, so I don't know what the point of view is like, but as a batter, you can almost always tell for sure. Like, I knew what balls and strikes were I knew. Like, like, maybe I didn't, like, once it had gone past me, I knew, like, if that was a

ball or a strike, I felt like 95% sure. You know, maybe it was, maybe if it's, like, low in a way, it can be kind of hard to tell, or if it was, if you're, if you're standing a little close to the plate, if you're crowding, but as a catcher, you can really tell. Like he's squared up on this thing He's got the perfect view And the pitcher obviously Great view too

Everybody's got a better view of it That's involved with the challenges Than the umpire So you would expect them Really? He's back behind the guy He's kind of like There's a batter here

And you know They're kind of like looking over the catcher's shoulder right Yeah With a guy with worse vision Well maybe that's an issue I mean if we have stats That can measure ump performance then let's get the best umps in there.

Yeah. I don't think we need any umps. I think we need a guy to stand there and listen to what the computer tells him to do. He should have an earpiece that's going, ball, drag, in his ear, and he just repeats what it says. He shouldn't have any input at all.

That's probably coming sooner than later if it's 25% of the pitches that they're fucking up. Then you don't have to pay them whatever they get paid. I bet they get paid well. Then you can be the umpire home. As long as you know, like, the rules of baseball, like, there's no skill involved anymore. It should be that for every base runner, every ball that may or may not have touched the line or whatever.

Like, everything should just be reviewed. Get it right. We have time. Baseball particularly lends itself to review. Yeah. You know, some other sports, I want to say football stuff, basketball stuff. Like, what's a holding? You know, there's like a stage where a holding gets too much and we call it.

This is football I'm talking about. So that takes a little more judgment than like a laser could do. For sure. For sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, when it comes to whether the ball made it to the, whether they got the first down or not, whether it's a touchdown or not, whether it's a catch, whether it's an interception. Was his foot inside? Was it outside?

We're both feet in. You know, stuff like that. Get the lasers out. Don't get some pensioner to like swint with his fucking glasses and try to figure it out. John Boy does it pretty well. That guy is so. good at his job. I think people are asking why baseball is having a resurgence. And a lot of people point to the, the, I'm going to call it a shot clock, the pitch clock, okay, which I think is on

to something. But I honestly think guys like John Boy are part of why Bay. I have more of an interest in baseball than I would in a world without John Boy. He makes it look interesting. I love when he's reading their lips or whatever he's doing and he's doing their voices. And he's like, it was outside. It was way fucking outside. It wasn't outside. You didn't see it, Jerry. Don't, don't push this. It was fucking outside. I saw it. It was outside. Jerry, are you trying to make it? It was outside. Having him there to like do that, it's like, I can watch what was probably the most boring part of the whole game and he makes a great video out of it. I love himself. He's so good. He did one with girls college basketball. Did you see it when the coach yelled at the player? I don't think so.

So the player, he sets the whole story up. The girl is kind of not doing her best. I think she's the star of her team and she's not playing like it. She's getting, making it. And the coach pulls her out of the game. And she's like, I fucking believe in you. But you have to believe in yourself. Fucking lock in.

And then like she sets her for like 90 seconds. So the girl comes back out. She's four times the player she was before she got yelled at. They asked her, but you might like it. I know girls college basketball might be the very bottom of your list of it. But this scene is a good one. This scene is about a player who gets properly coached. What was the other one that I watched?

It wasn't girls basketball. It was something else. He grabbed such good ones. I watched one in squash. And it's John Boy's figuring out squash along with us. Because if you don't know squash, I think it's like racquetball in an even. smaller court. It's like the pickleball of racquetball. And after you hit it, the other guy has to get there and hit it next really quickly. So they're both like slow moving out of the way. I guess part of the rules is I can't stand where you need to be to hit the ball. And they're kind of like dragging their feet behind. And like one player does it a little more egregiously than the other. And he's just like replaying it. Like yeah, he was kind of slow there. He's dragging his ass getting out of the way. And then, And you can, they just the lip reading, how they're complaining.

It's quite the show. He's so good at his job. He has a series called, like, Things in Sport. You didn't know you wanted to see or something like that. I surely found it up. And he covers, like, some Australian rugby drama, and it's good. Suddenly, I'm this tuned in needing to know more. How does he get away with, like, show an official sports footage?

Because I know that they come after you. I talked to Silva. I forget his first name, but he was like one of the top three guys at the UFC. And I was like, you should let people use your footage a little more than you do. Like there's a cadre of YouTubers who want to commentate your stuff, who want to show like,

you know, I'll be little John boys. And he wasn't having it. He's like, no, this is copyright. No one gets to use it but us. So John Boy Media has full permission to use MLB footage.

In fact, Major League Baseball officially acquired a minority stake in John Boy Media. cementing an ongoing partnership. Wow. Dude, that's smart. That's smarter than the UFC was. The UFC will claim your ass. Yeah, most sports are like that.

I think the NHL's real strict about having their footage. I remember one of our podcasts got claimed. We showed a between period's grandma who like, you know, they put the block, the wood in the goal. So the opening is like bottom center. And I'll call it like 10 inches wide. And she made it. from center ice and we were talking about it because it's kind of exciting and then the

NHL claimed our footage as if that was like I don't know important property is kind of as if that 45 seconds was what made the episode like they're they're tyrannical with it it's ridiculous they need to do the same thing that John Boy I always thought John Boy did a lot of sports but I'm now seeing it makes the most sense that he's like it's almost all baseball Oh, he has a hockey one on there? How the fuck did he get away with that? You might like it. Do you watch much John Boy, Taylor?

I haven't seen. He's one of those guys that, like, I'll see clips come across my Twitter feed from time to time, and I'll always stop and take a look, but I haven't, like, gone through his channel before. All right, so you have seen it, though. When you started, I thought you'd never seen it. I felt like I was talking to a virgin. Dude, you're going to love it. It's the greatest thing.

He's funny. I remember years ago watching his, like, NFL sideline lipreads. and that was funny. But that was literally four or five years ago, I bet. Oh, I know what I was going to say. I think it was one of the Spurs. The coach yelled, he's a black guy. He's bald.

And the coach yelled at him and made him cry. Oh, yes. I saw that. I don't remember. I saw the video, too. I remember the whole backstory. I thought it was Spurs, though. I thought it was a white uniform.

It is in my memory. I think it was the Spurs. The coach is chewing him out. We don't have John Boy. That's the John. boy video I want to say. Yeah. I don't know what he's saying to this young man because he's just this and that and the other

and over out there and you motherfucker and I, ah, you. And that guy's just like puppy dog eyes. Like when the coach finally lets him go, he's over there like tearing up and somebody has to come over like, it's okay. It's all right. Wemby, arguably the best player on the planet right now. In front of the fucking Oklahoma Thunder. He called me a goobah.

Yeah, I liked Wemby in that. I become a Wembe fan. So Wembe and Chet Holdgrim are both really, they're really tall, like 64, I'm sorry, 74 and 7,6. And Wembe got all the accolades. Everybody was like, Wembe's going to be the new greatest thing, whatever. And Chet was like Walmart Wembe. And when everyone loved Wembe, I don't know something about me, I'm like, I'm going to back the guy, no one else. backs. Fuck the world. I'm a Wembe fan. And there. See, you can see like similar archetype perhaps.

But Wembe has put in the work to put so much more muscle on his frame. He seems like a far cooler guy. He's a much better player. And I'm just like, I, and chat in interviews is not likable to me. So I'm switching allegiances. I'm a Wemby fan now. I only really liked him because no one did. But he needed to give me a reason to stick to it. Well, he needs to work on his PR and hit the gym a little bit. That guy's just real string. He looks like a string being next to that other string game. He's getting really picked on in social media right now because he's not playing well.

I don't know. He's going to stay off that social media. Well, just like the Iranian war, I'm going to skip those playoffs as well. All right, PKK 614.