Painkiller Already - PKN 616

Episode Date: June 11, 2026

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P-KN 616. Kyle can't stop talking about the NBA finals. Good stuff this year. Fucking New York fan. Philly fan, you pale in comparison to New York fan when they're rowdy. All right? Those Knicks fans,

the Knickers, I think they're called, those people went wild after the game and were beating the shit out of anybody wearing a Sixers jersey, making them take it off. And race did not factor. I think you might mean a San Antonio jersey. Yeah, San Antonio. 76ers, right?

San Antonio Spurs. Philadelphia 76ers. That's a different team. Well, in any case, I was still at Philadelphia from before, but they were making them take their jerseys off and beating them in the streets, mob justice on the streets of New York. And it crossed all racial lines, which I appreciate. At first, I was like, God damn it.

Every fucking, like, San Antonio fan is a Whitey that's getting beat down by these people. And then I saw a black guy wearing San Antonio Jersey, and he was running. Take it off. Take it off. Open his ass. I saw like three instances of that. The games are really expensive, the finals. So if you look at the people inside the building, there's a lot of white people there.

The regular season is a little bit different. But the people who could afford to buy finals games like this, it's expensive. That's an elite class. Uh, yeah, I don't know. I know it sounds crazy. You say they're worse than Philly fans. I'm not giving up that title without a fight. We are the worst fans there are.

You just don't know because we haven't tried winning in basketball for a long, long time since the 80s, I think. Yeah. Yeah. So you wait. How many more games is? I'm sorry. So I know tonight's game is in New York again.

Um, are they playing the night? Am I crazy? I thought they played yesterday. Again. Again. The next game is in New York again. Yeah.

I know that for sure. After that, do they switch back to San, not back to, but do they switch to San Antonio? Yeah, it's just like hockey. Two games, Texas, two games New York, Texas, New York, Texas. Perfect. So we might get to see like the opposite happen on the streets of San Antonio. That'd be fun. Could be.

You don't think so. You don't see a couple of cowboys could come by and like lasso some Nick fan and just The look was that like New Yorkers beat the fuck out of Texans, but I don't know. Really, whoever has more numbers wins, that's for sure. Who's got more firepower? That's all it matters. We're doing this battle in Texas. There was no firepower in the last one.

No, but now we're going to go to Texas and we're going to give more. There'll be no gunplay, I hope. Hopefully not. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like wearing your. stranger's jersey to like home court fuck you

I don't like the like when I see blues fans being shitty I always dislike that like there was one like when the blues played the Bruins in the Stanley Cup Dave Portnoy is a big

Bruins guy and he was like standing in front of a blues fan in St. Louis at a game that you know St. Louis was winning and the guy behind him had one of those rally towels and just was like like, who, and just kind of like smack him in the back of the head with the rally towel,

pretending it was just a spin. And he like had a spaz out where he's like, St. Louis is the worst city in America. The spaziest people, the trash fans, trash fans. I'm like, well, not most of us. We're not throwing batteries. Yeah, yeah. They don't allow batteries.

When you're winning the game, you don't get as mad. I assume the Knicks lost this game. and so, you know, they're an extra bit angry. They did. Yeah. So here's why I'm rooting for the Knicks. I'm an East Coast guy. I actually, Philadelphia is my team. Knicks are kind of rivals. And the Philly fan base seems a little split over whether or not they want the Knicks to win. But in basketball, they act like the East is the JV team, that the real championship was the Western Conference finals. And then they're just going to bring on whatever loser, the East.

go meanwhile the nix are on like a 13 game playoff winning streak just fucking shit up looking terrific and uh the east has won more playoff games than the west in the last three years more you know when they meet in the finals that number was carefully chosen because if you go five years it flips back the other way but whatever whatever work with me my only point is that we're competitive that we're not a bunch of like college kids wishing we could make the some day. What position you play? I'm sorry.

I would be a guard. I'm too short. I'd be a fine. Of the airwaves. It's we when you win. Anyway, so I'm just hoping that the East wins this. They went into Texas and they took the first two games. It was like pretty exciting.

And then they're going to New York and I was like, oh my gosh, this is like, is a sweet possible answer? No. weep's not possible. Somehow Texas went into New York and they pulled off a road win too. So tomorrow the series will either be 3 to 1 and all but over or 2 to 2 and let's go.

I've been watching a little bit of it. I watched like the last 10 minutes of the game. And that takes an hour. What takes an hour? The last 10 minutes of the fucking game. I've heard that is a plane. That is a basketball flaw. I simultaneously want better roughing and the ability to

to review calls. And the way that if it's a close game, you kind of foul the guy in hopes that they only get like, you know, one point out of that possession, and then you can get two or three. And that drags out the last couple minutes in a way that just isn't basketball.

Basketball is the part where you dribble really well and get around the other guy or hit a few great passes and they had the double team Kyle, so Taylor's wide open on the corner. That's basketball. The part I don't like is the, you know, foul a guy, hope he's got nerves and misses shots. That sucks. Yeah.

Hockey, opposite. If a hockey game is close, we pull the goalie and holy fuck, hold on to your seats. It's going to be neat. Or shoot off is not what you call it. What the hell? Help me. Shootout. Shootout.

Thank you. Yeah. Or a shootout. Dude, no one uses their whole seat in the shootout, right? You only need the front edge. It is awesome or stand. But in basketball, when the games are tight, it's the worst experience possible. I like how refs swallowed their whistles in like the last five minutes of important hockey playoff games.

And like you'll hear like sore losers being like, that was a slash with just four minutes left. And you watch the clip. And it's an egregious slash that would be called in, you know, any non-deciding game and certainly in any regular season game. but like the fans know it's like it's the last few minutes of like a really they're going to let the boys play like you need to hit back like be be violent yeah it's great it's great it's great i love it um the basketball has been pretty good this year wemby wendy in my mind is this like bean pole who you know needs an enforcer he's a big man throwing elbows pushing around jaylin brunson like Shaq and Charles Barclay were debating

Shaq is like that's right you push him you show him who the big man is and Barclay's like you can't do that and he's like he did yeah I'm team Jack yeah shove up okay throw a bow I maybe don't throw a bow

maybe that's a firm you know shove him you know it's risk it's a risk yeah yeah I but I I like Wemby I like Wambi he he hits he hits on all sale for me. He is simultaneously this like intellectually curious guy who explained dark matter to me the

first time I, the first person who got me to understand it. He loves Legos and he's also a gym rat elbow throwing basketball thug and but he's not if you hear him speak. He's French, but he's like he's really well spoken and he's a pretty neat guy who could be the face of the NBA for a while. That's why I'm surprised you're rooting for the Knicks, especially I did. didn't know the 76ers and the next word. It's all about the lack of respect of the East in general. Isn't he your favorite guy in the finals probably? Yeah, in the finals, I bet he is.

Yeah. Don't you want to see him get a cut or a ring? I guess my loyalty extends to the Sixers even stronger than Wemby. I just don't like to see the East treated like some sort of JV squad. We got a question for you. We're talking about this today in the WhatsApp. All right, hypothetical scenario, Taylor, the Blues are one game. away from winning a Stanley Cup.

Oh, no. You're working in a restaurant, and who just came in and sat at table three? Patrick King. Who is Patrick King? Not anymore. He used to be the All-Star for Chicago, but that was years ago.

Okay. Well, the current All-Star for Chicago, their guy, he's at table three. You happen to see that he's ordered the Caesar salad, and just next to where his salad is sitting on the- They couldn't meet in the cup because they're both Western. Let's pick a Bruins player. David Passer. Okay, David's over there. He's ordered the Caesar. You see it sitting there at the past. Nobody's looking at it. And you see

some gross raw chicken juice over there that's accumulated on the prep table. Do you pick up that that cutting board and make your way to the dishwasher? And as you pass, tip the corner down into that salad, give them a little salmonella for game seven? Yes. I do too. I have to do it for my city. for my people. I would do it too. I would, I would, I would, I would poison. Shut him down. Get him out of here. He's too good. Hmm.

You know, whoever it was, you know, if it was their guy, like if Jeter is, is, you know, having a little, little lunch. And I'm giving in the raw chicken juice, dude. You know, it's funny. You would do it to the Braves. It's like, it's a game seven of the regular season. You know, the shit's asshole. They're like four and seven, and you're like, fuck you. Fuck all of you guys.

They're going to playoffs this year. The best team in baseball. Oh, nice. 15 years ago or so, I had my ACL fix. Might have been 20. It doesn't matter. And the doctor who worked on my knee was also the team doctor for the hurricanes,

our hockey team. And they were in the NHL finals at the time, I think against the Oilers. Anyway, the opposing team's goalie hurt his knee and my doctor was the first one to treat. it. So while I'm talking to him, like, it comes up. I'm a hockey fan. I hurt my knee and a hockey injury. Like, we're all about this. And, um, I'm like, how bad is it? And he's like, he's not coming back. People didn't notice at the time. People didn't know this at the time. And he gave me a little

wink. Yeah, yeah. But like, I got inside information on the oilers goalie that he was out for the rest of the series year. It doesn't matter. It's the finals. And, uh, that felt neat. That's awesome. Because the Keynes did win that year, 2005. Was it the one they won? I forget it. They waited like two out of three years, if I recall. Something like back to back and they won the second time. Oh, I thought that the people they beat were the Oilers.

Oh, then you're probably right. Yeah, yeah. Because I do remember it was the Oilers goalie. They're losing 2-1 against the Knights right now. Not a fan of that. And their win? Oh, my God. I think they came back from 4-0 and got an overtime win.

Or maybe they came back from. from 3-0 and then the other team made it 4-4. It was like they have the closest skin of their teeth win possible. And they don't look like the favorites right now. No, they don't. But they got to win tonight. She's a Vegas Knights fan. And she's like, I'm like, are you in Vegas right now?

She sent me a picture. And she's like, yeah, yeah. I'm here to see her to see the Knights play. I'm like, don't you have a husband and children? He's like, yeah, he's watching them. I just had to see the Knights play in the cup She on a lark Was like watch the kids

I'm going to Vegas and flew to Vegas And she's like wearing Who's this? Yeah friend of mine Oh okay Yeah When I saw the Hurricanes play in person I went by myself

Dude the ticket was like $800 15 years ago They don't appreciate the game $800 worth like I did Yeah That is a problem For every sport

like especially basketball because I saw some of those prices and like I saw people online being like check out this celebrity or whoever it was that paid $11,000 for their court side seat on their phone during like the game like not like sitting leaning forward the way you should I'm sure uh who's fucking uh Seinfeld uh Larry David I bet he's probably like a legit fan because I see him often on the sidelines No. Did they? They turned Seinfeld away.

They wouldn't give them tickets. Because they were already sold out. I mean, I don't know how you can sell up to the point where Jerry Seinfeld can't attend. You could pull a chair up. Yeah. That's personal. I don't know how much I'd, I'd rather watch basketball.

I've never been to an NBA game. But I don't know if right on the court is the best advantage points. Like being a little higher, you might get better angles on shit. I want to be as close as possible at any, any sporting event. I think instead of a sideline or whatever you call it, I'd kind of rather be right behind one of the baskets. Like that's, you know, you're going to see half the action, but you're going to see the action.

I feel like I don't know basketball. In hockey, my favorite seats are, like, imagine the rink being a square, right? Take one of the corners and draw a diagonal line. I want to sit on that line and not too far away. That's my favorite spot. or right on the glass anywhere. But if I'm here to like watch the game,

that's sort of elevated overview, I want my, I want to see the enemy team's goalie twice. Yeah, yeah, I think you're right. Like, unless your team is just way worse going into it, you're like looking up in the, like, two minutes left. Because I've been at those games where like I'm behind the opponent's goalie. And like, it's like, man, the blues have got four.

The shots are four to 17 in their favor. I'm having to squint to even see what's coming on down there. The hurricanes to get fans originally when they first got here, the tickets were $8. And so I'm sitting at the tippity, tippity, tip, tip, top. I can't read a single jersey, not one. I'm way too far away. And the steps, they're not to code up there, bro. I want, like, ice climbing pickaxies.

It was crazy. And when you walk down, you feel like if you fell forward on the steps, you'd fall 18 feet. Like, it's so bad. Occasionally you see those clips online with some guy who's just either hammered or uncoordinated, who takes a tumble, like over. And then the real victim is the person in front of him having his hot dog, his $11 hot dog, who just has some idiot tumble over him. Now you've got an avalanche situation.

I forget which basketball player it was. It was like a star. and they ruined someone, like fell on somebody's like beer and hot dog or something like that in the front row. And he's just like, hey, hey, this guy needs a new beer and hot dog. My bad. Put it on me. And I'm sure they didn't charge him or anything. But I thought it was a cool move that like, like, oh, I hit the fans food.

Let's fix this. I saw that clip too. Oh, did you? Okay. I get all the, and my YouTube shorts is so much NBA stuff. Like, I try to click the button fast, but sometimes it's interesting. I like all the old school stuff I like whenever somebody's glazing Michael Jordan or Larry Bird

I'll sit and watch all of that when they're just like you don't understand what Larry Bird was about and it's like voices overlaid with clips of him burning people and calling his shots and stuff I'm like yeah white people shit let's go every once in a while like the people sitting right next to the opposing

team's bench like the home fans sitting next to so like Kyle you're sitting right front row the boards like even on the side of the fans like there's a little ledge you can put your beer there your hot dog there like you're right up against the boards and you have to be careful because if like there's a big check that hits there it'll spill your stuff so people will grab it but every once in a while it'll be like three people with their beers there all being like ha ha ha ha ha ha like yelling right at the opposing players bench and the opposing player will real quick put his stick through that crack and just

just knock $35 of beer over and they're like, oh, fuck. That's great. I didn't think you could do that. I'm sure Taylor knows this clip.

You probably both do. You ever see the guy, the hockey player got like cut on the bridge of his nose? And then later in the game, the puck hits the player that mocked him for getting cut on the bridge of his nose. And the hockey player points it out. The announcers love it. And even the girlfriend.

The player got his nose hurt. Yeah. Oh, did I say it backwards? Yeah. You said it right. It was the fan who got hit second because then there was like some like attendants who brought down a fucking rally towel to hold it on the guy's nose. And the player skates by like laughing. And the fan like looks up a second realizes it was the same guy.

He was like, it's you. It's you. Yeah. And even the girlfriend was making fun of the boyfriend who totally deserved it. Yeah. It's one of the great hockey moments, I think. That's hilarious. Yeah, that guy, that was a little, that was the hockey gods stepping in,

being like, that was rude, we're going to fix it. I can't imagine what that lady who died in Columbus must have said. That would be such a downer. Like, hey, we got three or two seats now. Extra, extra seat. I just probably just probably just, blood. Spread out now.

He puts a pop on his chair. A lot of blood, but you know. She forgot her rally town. Yeah, like that rumor, because it never happened to me, but it used to be like, you know, if your roommate in college dies, you ace everything. And it's like, that seems like how you, you know, make a murderer. That was a big thing when I was in college, too. It was just like a widely known fact.

I was suspicious, but I don't, it can't be true. It can't be. It can't be true. It doesn't make sense. Special consideration, you know, maybe take some finals later, maybe even get to bring some notes, but they're not going to change any fucking grades. Right.

Well, I mean, at that way, I mean, like your mom dying would give you that kind of consideration. You know, yeah, take the test tomorrow. Yeah. Look, I'm hoping to get a good grade on the test. I don't want the grade that I would get. I'm a little secret study. I tried that. I told you how she died the skydiving accident into a thorn patch.

Like maybe horrible. She's still in there. I can't get her out. Yeah. Yeah, a bit worse. People, there would be some sort of like panicky murderer. You're like a Chinese exchange student and be like, they can't go back. And they didn't end up stabbing their roommate in their bunk bed.

Man, that's a good premise for a movie. I want to see that now. A college student who just fritters it all away. No, no, no, no. He's been killing his roommates throughout his education. There's only eight semesters in college. You know? Magnacum, Loudie, Dinkless, National Road Scholar Honors Program,

and never a surviving roommate throughout at all. If only they could have learned from you. This moron is valedictorian. The only thing he's good at is stabbing people. Your first semester senior is still in the dorms. The fuck is going on here. I watched what's it called Project Hail Mary. That was great.

I loved that so much. I loved it so much. How did you watch it? It turns out I have like thousands of Amazon points from using my Amazon credit card that do nothing but buy movies. And so I was like, what are we being cheap for? Let's go here. I use a Visa, Amazon MasterCard or something like that.

I got like... And they can only rent movies? I don't know what else to do with them. I've never seen them be applied when I'm making purchases on Amazon. Maybe if I went to Visa.com... I use it when I check out on physical things. You know how to do that, right? Like when you buy a product off Amazon, a new whatever knife or something...

There's like an option to add points in addition to your cash or whatever. I should walk you through this if you have thousands of... in free Amazon goods. I don't think it's that much. I've got like 18,000 points or something like that. But anyway, I rented the movie for $20. And it was well worth it. I loved it.

Project Hell Mary is so fucking good. It's got a nonlinear storyline where you don't really know what's going on because the main character doesn't really know what's going on. And it's one of those movies that's got a cute little CGI creature, man, that I quickly fell in love with. And I looked at my girlfriend. I'm like, this is going poorly for that fucking rock man. This is going to end up poorly for that fucking rock man.

And I'm going to cry. I'm going to cry over that fucking rock creature. I mark my words. And then, like, there are little hints sprinkled through there. Like, this isn't much of a spoiler, but some of the aliens don't understand radiation or relativity. That's a line in the movie. And I'm like, oh, no. Well, if they don't understand relativity, there's going to be some time dilation thing.

His planet's going to be, like, a million years, like, have passed by the time he gets back. It'll be, it'll be 10 years for him. like a thousand years for them or something because he's going at 20% the speed of light or whatever the fuck. But no, they didn't do that to me either. It was a happy ending. I was so happy to just have at the end when everything was good, I was like, oh, thank God, I didn't kill anybody.

I was so worried about that little rock man. I loved it. As you're talking, my mind is simultaneously screaming. Don't spoil it, don't spoil it. And Woody, you read this book. Yeah. Oh, yeah, there are changes apparently, because Chis has read the book and watched the movie

and we discussed it after I watched it and he was like, oh, this is different here and that's different there. I of course won't go into any of that. It was tremendous though, and the special effects were great, and when they were doing the stuff that needs to be done traveling in space and it reminds me so much of

the Martian because there's long periods of time where Ryan Gosling who's the astronaut is all by himself talking to himself, talking to his camera that someday NASA will get to look at. And he's being like cutesy and comedic about it which makes sense the same author and everything

but I had such strong Martian vibes from it and I love that too when Matt Dame is like well we got 400 days worth of potatoes and we're going to be here for the next 800 days so we're going to grow some taters and I'm like yeah and then like rock music

starts playing as he farms potatoes which becomes the most interesting thing you've seen in a while it is yeah so yeah Project Hell Mary fucking five stars for me I love that so much. How was Ryan Gosselin's acting? Because he hasn't acted really well in the stuff I've seen him in.

But then again, he played Ken. You're going to be very impressed. You're going to be very impressed. He's good. I've always thought of him as a tremendous actor. I like him in everything. He's one of my favorite actors. He was good in drive.

Great in drive. Good and Beyond the Pines. There's lots of stuff. Maybe neon demon. Is he in that one? But in any case, he did really well. And it calls for some emotional moments. you know, there's, I don't want to spoil anything, but there's several moments where it's like,

oh, that's a moment. Almost like that Matthew McConaughey getting the messages from home as your kids slowly give up on you. It's not quite that emotional, but it's close. I teared up two or three times in that movie for sure. When people were making like self-sacrificing things and people were giving up something of theirs so they could save somebody else. Like anytime something like that would happen, I'd start crying a little bit. It was really good.

I loved it. If Matthew McConaughey had like got the let out a couple times, he could have had an extra, you know, 15 years with that daughter. He went as fast as they could do. They were hustling. He was fiddling around in that cyber space celestial library a little bit. Oh, that didn't have anything to do with it. That's not a little. He'd already, he's already in the fucking fourth dimension at that point.

So that doesn't even matter. That was a good movie. Yeah. Uh, yeah. that's one of my favorites too. Top to bottom, interstellar is tremendous. I know Woody doesn't like that boring first third or maybe first 40%.

I want to see it again, but I also wish I could cut the fat off that fucking movie. And I'd watch it again if it wasn't such an endeavor. It is way too. It's a bit long. Just fast forward through the first 30 minutes and you're there. You know, you're already like.

Anytime he's in the fucking Celestial Library, that scene needed to be cut. Leave that on the editing room floor. Oh, I didn't, I didn't mind that one. I just liked where I'm like, I get it. You have a farming drone

and you have to chase it. Like, enough. Enough of this. But I've only seen that movie maybe twice ever. Same thing with Project Hail Mary. Like there,

even in the theater, there were a couple times where I was thinking like, we could, we could accelerate that. And I'm not against long movies as a principle. It's just there was a little,

that's crazy. It was like, I wanted more. Two and a half hours. I want it. I think there's a four hour cut originally. Like, like I wanted more.

I could see loving a two and a half or even three hour movie. But it needs to be moving and it needs to need to be that long to tell the story. If they just stretch a two hour movie into two and a half hours, that's where I get. They cut a four hour movie down two hours. I get it. The rock thing is the cute little buddy. Love it. You know, we don't have to have another dance number.

like yes that was emotional don't you spoil the dance number all right that was I was I was I was dancing too I was dancing too I don't remember the dance number in the book I was doing a tippole burrito was like and I looked at my girlfriend and she was going she was doing the dance too we were all dancing me down in front everybody gozzling it was beautiful it was and I like the science of like what rocky is and and you know the whole idea of him going to where he goes to do the thing he does and how to explain the space travel loved all that loved all that um great movie great movie yeah not too bad i know you've been watching that uh and it's really not too bad i'm being antagonistic i thought it was it's i said it was good when i saw it but it's not a if it's a rewatch it's how many owls or years from now that'll be when we eventually do our movie podcast you're your your your rating system will be one out of seven owls. Seven?

You get seven owls. That's unique to your pocket. We'll all have different numbers and it'll make no sense. Taylor will give something for three owls, which is a lousy score. And Kyle's going to give something like three guns, which is three out of three.

It's a scale of one to two is Kyle's. That's what Siskel and Ebert did. Four and a half. Four and a half owls. Out of seven? It's a solid, it's a solid five and a half owls. It's a solid five and a half owls.

I'm close to giving it six owls, but it's so fresh in my memory, I feel like it should give a little more time. I don't think seven should be that rare. I think every year, two or three movies should get seven owls. I agree with that. Okay, but you don't think this is one of the top three movies.

I think this is maybe one a year. So far, so, so far the weapons was last year, wasn't it? Yeah. Weapons was like my favorite movie last year. This is my favorite movie of this year that I can think up. I've seen a bunch of them though, so I'd have to sit down and think a little bit more. I'd give weapons a six out of seven owls. I think it was really good. I also would give weapons six out of seven owls. I thought it was very, very good. I thought that lady and the reveal and the creepiness, that all sold me. And then I love that little blonde girl from Ozark. She's tremendous. And then Thanos is there too. And that bug-eyed guy. that Asian guy who's also from the Marvel movies he's the bug-eyed Asian guy who's like dr. Strange's buddy who makes you know the the oh I know him yeah I never noticed his eyes being that weird oh they're so buggy there and in this movie like something happened to his eyes so they're just like coming out of his head like he he's clearly incituating whatever's wrong with him it's it's real freaky yeah I love weapons anytime I see that guy on screen I

always think like he's not going to make it like just something about him where it's like this guy just he takes too long where he'll let he's the kind of guy who like walks into a dungeon and like it takes five light flickers and a ghoul sound before he's like something's not right and then get that red shirt star trek anything that's worse than that a witch starts making what's clearly some sort of blood altar potion on his countertop without an invitation into his home like she's cutting herself and putting like raven feathers and spitting and like this is weapons yeah yeah she's like in his kitchen

doing this witch's crazy shit and he's like ma'am what do you do it are you okay and it's like I'm already hitting you with a meat tinderizer you start doing blood magic in my kitchen lady he's like Kalima and he's like what the what the heck's going on in here

like she's already to that point and he's like how'd you get in like we're so far past that man yeah he had no he had no sense of danger in that. No. He got what he deserved. Nor did his boyfriend.

Yeah, I want to watch the two big movies out right now are Obsession and Backrooms. Yeah, two movies that I think Obsession costs like $700,000 and it's made, I don't know what it's at now, but I think it's $100 million plus or something like that. It's like crazy how much it's made. And then the same thing with Backrooms.

It's like a million, $10 million movie. I think $10 million. That's the numbers in my head, but it could be, maybe I'm wrong. But I know it's made like 100-something million, too. 216 million worldwide, it says. Good for them. And it costs, yeah, 10 million to make.

All right, that's a resounding success. It's a nice return. That is a nice return. I hope he doesn't get fucked over by some sort of Hollywood math or something like that, but it seems like you can't fuck $200 million out of a gross. So he's probably getting paid. I would hope so. YouTube director.

Good for him. I heard it was good. But I also saw people like apparently, which I haven't seen it. I know a little about the lore because I watched the YouTube videos. But I saw people maligning it like wanting more specificity about like, but exactly what caused this and what caused. And it's like, well, that's kind of the essence of the world this is. It's like you're not meant to be spoon fed. Like it's not like, ah, as we suspected, Mr. Backroom.

like you're not Oh, you've stumbled upon my backrooms which I created in 1942 in the help of it of Tesla here he is like I don't need all that the mystery and the unknowable thing of it is always scary if you've ever seen the void

it's Lovecraftians you can't even understand what the evil is if you were to look at it your human mind who couldn't grasp the the normity of the evil you're up again I like it that way. Don't fucking spell it out. If anything in backrooms,

my worry is that they show the ghoul or bad guy or whatever too much. Like, I would rather it be suspense building and environmental storytelling. Like that sort of spooky because that's more in line with it. But I could see them like someone in Hollywood doing like, well, we got to have the gremlin or the bad guy, like more often out there to entice people.

people, you know, their attention space. We'll lose them to their phones. We don't want that. So I'm going to watch that. Actually, I don't even know how long it is. Yeah, I don't either. 110 minutes. Decent, decent runs.

Is back group supposed to be good? Are people loving it? What's the, what Rotten Tomatoes is? Because that audience score is probably only. It sounds dull to me. Let's see. It's,

what's the audience score on Rotten Tomatoes? Yeah, that's where I'm going. It's, I've got to be a lot of it. I enable ads. Fuck you. Because I always trust the audience score more. 74 on audience score. Yeah, 88% from critics

and 74 from viewers. Where's certified fresh start? It's not 50% is it? No. No, it might be 70 like a grade school grades. I don't know if 70 was fresh.

Well, that's where it starts. Oh, okay. Like where it turns from a splash. to a, you know, a tomato again. Solid tomato. Yeah. Well, I'll go see that one. I've heard the obsession one is more like, like a crazy lady who's obsessed with her boyfriend.

And that just, maybe it would entice me if backrooms weren't out, but I know nothing about the lore of this obsession movie. Do you? No. Or is this just a, this is just a, I'm super blind. I have no idea what it's, all I know is it's called obsession. I genuinely have zero knowledge of it. I just know it's done well and it costs 700 grand. Yeah.

Hard to lose money on something that costs 700 grand if you have mainstream distribution. Yeah. I mean, that Markiplier movie was similar. It cost a couple million dollars and made, I don't remember what, tens of millions at least. I thought people didn't like that one. Oh, I thought it was a winner. Iron Long, right? Iron Long, let's see.

it was 86% audience score oh okay well that's pretty good yeah 3 million budget 51 mill box office

no one I wonder how many other YouTubers have that kind of talent like it because there's I think it's John Green did was the first one he wrote the books and they became movies

and now Mark a Plyer and I'm playing Jordan Peele or whatever oh come on he's not a YouTuber that's where I solemn. Just because they put Key Appeal skits on YouTube does not make him a YouTuber.

That's how you become a YouTuber. That's what I'm a central show. I mean, the backroom's guy got noticed from YouTube. Okay, that's a better thing. Yeah, we both came up with good examples, Taylor and I. Yeah. I just to say.

So this is going to trigger a lot of Hollywood to say, hey, those YouTubers might know a same thing or two. Here's your budget for finding YouTube directors and putting their projects for two years from now, there'll be half a dozen movies from YouTube directors that are that are big movies. I bet we'll see if they're good or not. I don't know.

I look forward to seeing this backroom movie because like Woody, like I've played the video games and I'm like, ooh, not a lot to do, not a lot to do, but wander and do rudimentary puzzles. Okay, wandering some more. Oh, here comes the paperclip monster. Run, run, run. And then like ghouls took fish his soul. So you played the game. Yeah, so there's several games.

I don't know that it's exactly like an official property, an official IP. Seemingly anybody could make one of those games. But I've played the one that's supposed to be best. They're kind of wandering around, you know, level for level, doing very simple puzzles. Being chased by enemies you can't contend with, you just got to run. They'll fuck you up real fast in like vicious, disgusting ways. We were playing like, there were like three of us, me and Midi. and fish were running around and I don't know

after about half an hour of running and slowly getting killed over and over we kind of gave up or I didn't anyway. It doesn't lend itself to being a good game. The games had a little bit of a bounce which caught my attention. So I play marathon all the time which is a everyone who plays it says this is a great great

great great game but not many of us play it and every soul they're like hey back rooms is like getting a little bounce I look at it and I'm like it's as big as marathon I'm a fucking triple A game Bungi This is not great dude

I thought you meant like when you were controlling your controller like it there was some input lag or something of that it's like getting popularity Oh my god There's the player counts are similar Like 17,000 yeah

Yikes Keep it up bungee Burn that dumpsters of money Just dumpsters of money Rainbow 6 took two years to get popular So that's probably how it'll go. I kind of believe in the game. I think that like the game

obviously becomes, the value of the game obviously increases as they add stuff to it. So next year it's a, it's a better bargain than it is now. And maybe it's more well established, maybe iron out any issues people have. It's just, you know, extraction shooters are a little hardcore for the average person. I hope it succeeds.

And I think Bungee has like put their, I don't have a choice, but they've put their faith behind the game and they're going to keep funding it. You've made that argument a couple of times. like Bungy can't lose. That's why it's so important. Or Grand Theft Auto can't miss because they put billions into it.

And I'm like, just because it like can't miss doesn't mean it won't miss. Like heavy duty consequences don't ensure success. I just mean that like the people at Bungy have promised to like keep funding this thing. They're like, oh, we're not deterred by the low sales. We're in this for the long haul. Maybe it was someone from Microsoft like support. It was whoever read the money faucet. They were like, don't worry.

We're not deterred by this. We're coming. It was Bungee and Sony. They've definitely said that. But that's what you say, right? Not like, oh, we're thinking about not supporting this game. You'd have to buy it for me to consider keeping it going. It's like, no, no, no, no.

I want you to promise that this will be online for the next 14 years. That's what people want. That's just good business. The guy's not going to be like, oh, no, my audio's fine. It's because I have a gun in my mouth. Yeah, I love the game. I played it a bunch today. I had some wild success.

They didn't add a new map. They enhanced an existing one and moved it to nighttime and added a new boss to it. And I beat him twice today in a row. I've only beaten him three times. But I was like, we were really successful. It was cool. Nice. Did you see, I saw people spazen that, I guess there was some video game announcement thing.

And Bethesda apparently had like a trailer at it where it was like doing that Bethesda presents. And of course, everyone's like, oh, elder girls. It's going to be elders. And it was like expansion. Skyrim on a pregnancy test. It was apparently just increases to like DLC for Fallout 76. And I saw people online like Spaz and like, like, nobody wants to play Fodd 76. We told you that.

six years ago. Not even Fallout people like Fallout 70s. Like, you never all I saw, I saw the new Gears of War trailer, which is a prequel. So you see Marcus Phoenix before he gets all scarred up and Dom is back. And it's right when the locust, it's called Emergence Day, I think, E-Day. And it's right

when the locusts like come above ground. Your story starts kind of there. I'm interested in that. I love Gears of War. And then I saw there was a ton of backlash about the new God of War game. Doesn't have Kratos anymore. It's a it's an ugly woman this time. who's in about 40 or so

she's Crato's wife and they showed opposing clips they're like first it's the woman in the little clip they've shown and she's like I'm dead I can't be dead

you must accept what has happened to you only then can you pass beyond the river sticks or whatever the fuck and then they like cut to like PlayStation 2 Kratos Kratos is like I cannot be dead

and they're like you must fight it Kratos with a you have and Kratos literally goes like Hulk Hogan and his wounds begin to like spontaneously heal and all of the like all of the demons

are trying to hold him down and he's just like ripping their arms off and fucking with the demons up and he's like crawling his way out of hell cratos is hardcore you excited to see his I guess 40 mid 40 year old wife like girl arm those swords on chains

like I've seen it doesn't go far enough I don't think he's got the weapon to begin with because it looks it's getting a lot of a lot of shit how do you not have cratos and god of war he was kind of integral like he's the whole game no you need a four-year-old red woman redhead woman no i think you need the jacked in lunatic blood lust great guy what's funny is i think i'm i haven't looked too much in this but i think the voice actress is that very pretty redhead from um true blood back in the day she's been lots of other stuff but but that's where woody nose are from. And she's very pretty still. And they uglied her model up to make it more like

acceptable, I guess. Western devs literally do take the model for the characters and then go, ooh, that's too pretty. Uglier up. They just give her a wider nose and a flatter face. They just make her uglier. It's so stupid. But it's nothing new. They seem to do it constantly on purpose. then there's that game the other day and I don't even know what game it was but everybody was passing it around how like the characters look like children and then when they speak

they have like a 30 year old woman's voice and it's like all right this is some peto shit though this is the other end of that like you've gone too far like these are literally these are sexy children you've made sexy video game children as the main character like the fuck are y'all doing

it was some like short-haired Japanese woman who looked I say woman but she looked 13 top But then she speaks and it's like a husky 30 year old woman's voice like we have to get to the reactor It was like what? That doesn't mesh. I saw some god-of-war game pie just looked it up real quick. I like it I like it. Dude anytime I get the opportunity I play as a hot girl. That's my preference and I agree she's not super pretty. I see what you're saying but most of it happens from the back like in a third-person view and the way she moves and the way she fights that's my preference. Okay.

Have you seen the Space Marine 2 combat? There's a lot of timed events and a lot of like parrying and stuff. And it's a Warhammer 40K story that's being told. It's that clip I showed you a while back that you've teared up to. I've teared up to that 30 times. Where the space marine like jumps off the spaceship with the double. It's that game. To that Madonna song.

Yeah, like a prayer. Yeah, yeah. Like a prayer. Yeah, yeah. I love that. It's so motivational. Oh, yeah. And what I like is like the city's going down. And there are strong, brave people here who know they can't win. And then like two space marines show up. And they're like, this isn't a problem. I'm here now. And it's so. Oh, my God. How is this not a problem? Do you see the other team? And they just- Calgar and he's got the gauntlets of Ultramar. I somehow forgot that. I don't know. Oh, you don't even know.

Well, you're on target there. He's got main character. So there's a kind of a joke in the Warhammer community. Like when they try to power scale space marines, are like, does he have a name? Yes. Oh, well, move him up three slots. Then Calgar is one of those guys.

Calgar has gotten so many model refreshes for no reason. There's like, here's a different version of Calgar. Here's Calgar on a sunny day. And they just keep like, throw up. there are hundreds of dollars or something like that. Definitely the ones I was looking at were. He's a great character. It's a real great, real good character.

I hope that that show gets made with fucking Superman, whatever his name is. Can't think of it right now. Henry Cavill. I hope that gets made because I love all that Warhammer stuff so much. We're at a point in the novels where I've just been sitting and waiting for like two years for like the next thing.

With barely an update. Oh, it moves very slowly. Well, there are updates. So I think 11th edition just dropped. And so the new updates in the, so not only do they update the game so far as like how to roll the dice and such, but they also update the story. Hold on. I'm saying I haven't heard updates about what Henry Cavill is doing. Oh, yeah, I haven't used.

Oh, okay. Seems like that was promised to. while ago. I think development just takes a really long time. I know it's still happening. But even if I heard, hey, casting was locked in, I'd be like, okay, okay, there's contract signed. That's progress.

Oh, I'm like, I don't know. Are they doing anything? I can't tell. The FrontSoft dropped a trailer today on Dusk Bloods. That's their next big title. And I think his name is Miyazaki or Miyazaki. Something very close to that. He's the one that made.

Everything except Night Rain, all these famous from soft titles. And the trailer was a total disappointment. It was just a quick time event or cutscene or whatever. And I know nothing about this game. All they did is tell us that in the summer, there'll be a network test that is closed. So we can't do it. And it's Australia and New Zealand only. And I'm like, what are we doing here?

Oh, the big markets. Yeah. Somehow I'm less happy with your trailer than I was if it never existed. that's how I would feel about Elder Scrolls when I searched Bethesda just to try and find that Fallout 76 example one of the first things that came up on Twitter was an announcement from Bethesda Game Studios from what will be tomorrow eight years ago announcing the Elder Scroll 6 June 10th 2018

so this is just not happening do they pretend it's happening they they just keep kicking the can down the road I heard that they were pretty far down the road and they saw Baldur's Gate and they had to throw a lot of stuff out Oh because they just expected to be a loser

I know they don't want to underwhelm people And after eight years they almost need to like Have an announcement we're like hey We're starting over Start now Give us five years I agree Because like if Half Life 3

would have dropped, it couldn't be an ordinary game. No, no, no, no. You need to break gaming in some amazing way, and that's a tall order. When did two come out? How long ago? Like 15 years ago? 15 years ago.

Easily? Maybe more. Yeah, right? I'm going to look it up. It's wild. It doesn't want to do it. He's got plenty of money. Like, clearly they can afford to do it. 21 years old. Yeah. Oh. That was my thing.

Like even like whatever, five, seven years ago, it was like, dude, the people who love this game aren't even playing games anymore. The people who are really into games, they're younger than me typically. Like, they're not into Half-Life too. They're into Fortnite. They're not even into Cod. Like, they're post that. Yeah, for sure. I'm post that too.

Like, I'm excited for Alien Isolation 2. Alien Isolation 1 was really good. It's a horror game. It's in the alien universe. There's a xenomorph stalking you through a ship. You're like Ellen Ripley's granddaughter or something, and you're kind of like sneaking around with sensors and stuff trying to get the ship going again.

It's a good horror game. And then the Forest Three. The Force Three is kind of throwing the whole playbook for the forest out the window. The first two games were on islands where there's crazy shit happening. The third one, you're in a spaceship that gets cast like, I don't know how, across the galaxy. And you're just on an alien planet. you've got like a robot third arm

and there's everything around you it looks terrifying there's all sorts of it's alien life everywhere and you've got weapons I saw the guys get like a plasma pistol or something like that it's like I'm excited for that I like RPGs like that I love the first one

the first one was some of my fondest gaming memories are playing Forest One with the boys and we're all going to spalunk down into this hole we don't know what we're doing we've got the most rudimentary of weapons imaginable like we've got sticks with rocks on the end for spears. We've all got like a Zippo lighter. And one guy's got like a knife.

And we're like all, there's like five or six of us. And we're going, we're all on the same rope going straight down into a hole in the earth. And middy's at the bottom of the rope. And when he gets to the bottom, there's a monster down there that's made out of like a thousand aborted fetuses all glued together.

And it's just like squirming and like screaming. And like, I'm right above. Poking it. and it immediately grabs Middy and it's just thrashing him around and he's screaming in real life and I'm at the bottom of the rope

and I'm going up, up, up, up, everyone up? And we all just left him down. Abandoned for Mitt? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's always a tough video game decision. Like, I don't mean to make about me, but in Marathon, teams have three people, almost always.

And if both of my teammates die, it's like, huh, Do I die in this 1B3 or I'd come back and res you after your gear stolen off your body? I go both ways, but yeah, it's a tough call. It depends what you've got on you. And like in Carco, what I would often do is I would run away. And I would get in a bush 200 meters away and go prone. And I'd guard our gear.

I'll stay here and guard the gear. They're going to get fucked up if they try to take any of your stuff. I'd do that for them for sure. That's quick to kill. 3.V1. That's what? The time to kill in that game is very low. So if you get a headshot, then suddenly it's a 2B1. They're confused. They don't know where you are.

You might even turn into a 1v1 before they know where you're at. In this game, it takes two magazines to kill a guy. And he either gets off the X and you don't finish him or the other two know exactly what's up. Yeah. And Tarkov, you can take that first guy out and nobody, including the guy you took out, has an idea of where you even are. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So, and also it depends on what gear they bring in. If you come into my, it's just random fills, right? And if you show up with a free kit, you fucking freaker, I don't give a damn about your life. And if you're a no-mic freaker, I almost actively hope you die. How dare you bring that trash in here would join the foxhole and your buddies that got blown up by the Japs and now some fresh recruit from Iowa's taking his spot? sitting in his, where little Bill's side?

Is that Little Bill's helmet you're wearing? No. No. You can't be friends with that guy because you don't want to get close to him. You've made a mistake getting close to Bill. Yeah. Some people are like, you know what? I like bringing in a free kit and getting the come up.

You know, we win. I get better shields. No, you fucking slut. You like being carried by me. You like when I kill all the bad guys and give you their gear, because you're a worthless, no-mic free kit. I can hardly win with your ass dragging me down. I was looking for a teammate.

Instead, I have a dependent. Fuck you. They've got to somewhere where you can get teammates. Yeah. Oh, I got teammates. I, you know, they're in a game. It's like, wait eight minutes. I don't think so.

Wait, give me six. I got a pee. Yeah, as if. Get a gaming catheter like a man. I'm peeing right now, and I don't even have one. I usually use a Like especially in Rust Like there's

They'll have a discord devoted to that That server And I can find people in there to play with I got to play with somebody though Like I don't know Sometimes it's fun to do that But in your situation what you're describing I can't

I won't feel comfortable bringing my good shit Thinking there's a chance that they're going to bring their shit kits And I think your game is closer TARC to Apex Legends than it is to Tarkov where it's like I need these teammates I can't just break away from them and like in Tarkov if we drop in I'm like I'm gonna go over there y'all try to get to the dorms I'm gonna be over here and I'll meet up with y'all in 15 minutes 50 50 on whether that happens that's we'll see is what that means like I can do that though and survive and everybody can most of the time prosper but in your game it seems like we really

need to do this it helps a lot to be coordinated I had a great game yesterday I don't let it I think gaming stories can be boring but I was psyched it was me and two random fills they both had blue shields which is what I had so cool they both had mics all right let's do this second raid we get into a 3 v6 right we're the three there's a team to our north a team to our south and they're fighting us but we're like both of them had good comms they were good players and uh we're taking people down like we're getting up I know exactly how many we're dealing with at any given time. I know their locations because of my callouts and their callouts were well coordinated.

The three of us beat all six of the other ones. Both of them were coming after us, by the way. It was not a 3V3V3. No, one to our north, one to our south. We're in the middle getting squeezed. Bring more people, motherfuckers. And then at the end of the game, I was like, hey, I'm going to send you guys some friend requests.

You do with it what you will. And the guy was, I think he was joking, but he goes, well, depends on the stats at the end of the game because it's kind of a scoreboard. I got the most runners down. I got the most damage to runners. I got the most runners fully killed. I got the most bots killed, but I didn't get the most loot off the dead bodies. And he's like, yeah, you're getting a friend request.

Nice. Well, you're building up the harem of useful. Yeah, exactly, exactly. I've got a list of strong players. I don't even know their names most of the time. I just know that if I sent them a friend request, they were good. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's all you need for a game like that.

Like, you're going to be buddies. Like, it's just like, you know, oh, this guy, yeah, he's solid. And he revived me that one time. And he's not useless. So, you know, you're going to mix until you, you know, until you prove to me you no longer are worthy of being in the middle. Until you show up with a free kit and then we're not friends anymore. Delete yourself from my friend's list.

How do I do that? As the years go by, that command to another grown man gets more and more insane to me. Back then I was like, well, you know, delete yourself. In Toronto, every arrival is a statement, and nothing says it better than this. Cadillac Optic was the number one selling luxury EV in Canada for 2025. Find your rhythm across a seamless 33-inch display and an immersive 19-19. speaker AKG surround audio system. This city demands agility and optic delivers with precision to make every drive extraordinary.

Let's take the Cadillac. Find out more at Cadillac canada.ca. Luxury sales claim based on S&P Global Mobility Canadian New Vehicle Total Registrations for calendar year 2025 for the Cadillac definition of luxury. Zach says wings quit the internet last Thursday. Oh, okay. Sure, sure, sure. That can't be.

You're not buying it? No. I thought that he was still regularly streaming. He was. He probably went on vacation. He probably went to beautiful Myrtle Beach for a week, and he'll be right back in the saddle soon. I just infer he made an announcement.

Oh, let's see what this tweet says. Oh. Oh, my gosh. It's a lot. I'm going to read this. I'll do my best. Okay. I guess I should say something before I disappear.

I want to clear the air. that I didn't quit lolcal crypt. I was put in a position that me walking away was the best outcome. I hate seeing friends hurt and people were attacking Jaffe and Tech in real life. Okay. They had people show up and want to fight family members. They had people threatening to attack siblings and family members and they had police called to their property.

I've been a victim of a nearly year-long campaign of hatred and a doxing campaign. They targeted my income and personal relationships and my property. They would find someone who would donate to me. me and then send them thousands of dollars worth of cash on delivery services. I'm very emotional and I hate to see people who've supported me and be friendly with me for years get abused and it took a toll on my mental health. I've had people attempt to tow my property off my yard. I've had people come steal things from my property. They would offer grills, ice chest, statues and things like that for free on Facebook marketplace and the people would come and take them while I was away.

Oh my gosh. I have had hookers show up at my house at 3 a.m. with threats of guns. violence against me on the daily. They'll sit around and pretend it's the videos that they made that pushed me to leave the internet. But I was the illegal activity they do in chat rooms. I'm sorry, but it was the illegal activity they do in chat rooms and discord and discord support that would never help me do about anything about. They would use these same tactics against me around me to get them to share phone numbers and DMs and personal effects. The problem is much larger than me since I noticed more content creators suffering with similar groups. There is a new problem that policing hasn't caught up to yet. I'm fully aware I'm on the

back end of my career as a YouTube content creator. I probably held on longer than I should because of my weight issues. I'm only guilty of saying edgy things for the sake of getting views and I've never actively harmed or hurt anyone my 18 and a half years online. I'm going away now and I hope this isn't goodbye, but if it is, thank you for allowing me to entertain you. Oh heck. well written it was well better written than it was red apologies that's insane

he still deals with that shit that regularly that's just crazy that sucks it does suck and I that's not what I was expecting I was expecting him leaving in a huff about not getting enough donations and that the business

like he could make more doing door dash per hour than he could on YouTube. I was expecting him to, you know, say it just petered out. But that's not it. He's been a, and he has been a victim of coordinated attacks. Yeah. I mean, I haven't followed him, obviously, or what he's been up to for, I mean, I never followed him closely.

But, you know, every once in a while something would get big enough where it would be like, oh, did you hear, you know, they set mechanics or prostitutes or whatever and just, you know, at all hours of the night. And then you have a furious mechanic or a furious, like, prostitute. And now it's, like, just a whole other thing you have to deal with. The Facebook marketplace thing is so fucking crazy. That, like, boat for free. Come pick her up and take her with you.

You know? And it's just like, that's so fucked up. That is. That has to be a crime. There was a guy who, so. So I'm going to get the details a little wrong, but there was, some prankster did this double prank where I think he had, I don't know, I know what it was, he'd been prank calling this old man and threatening him and it was some bit, but then like, I think like a door dash driver or something

got the wrong address and went to his place, it's even possible that the same scammer sent the door dash driver to his house to like, you know, like run into the bull that he'd sent, he'd set flying by angering this old man. old man has a gun and he's telling this old this lady door dash driver's like you're not leaving you're not leaving until i get my my humble back or like whatever kind of scam they'd run on him or whatever she's like i'm going home sugar and he's just like bam and killed her and uh and he's he's gone to prison for that he got yeah he should be in prison for that shot that lady yeah the person who set that up should be going to jail too yeah yeah that's not a funny prank phone call no

Yeah, that's horrible. Well, anyway. Well, that sucks for wings. Yeah. Bummer. Hope it works out, but that blows. Yeah. P.K.N. 616.