Painkiller Already - PKN 617

Episode Date: June 18, 2026

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free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming, Ontario. All right, it is PKN 617. Taylor, live from 1985, based on the curtains. How are you? Yeah, too in solid. Yeah. Sunburned as hell on my arms.

I was sitting under, my father-in-law has like this canopy. He sets up on the beach. And I was sitting under there for like five hours before he just in passing mentioned like, yeah, kind of the shame. This only blocks 50% of UV rays. and I was like, what? I like woke up in the middle of the night two evenings ago. Like from rolling on to my side, my shoulder like woke me up.

I'm sober. And I've been on such a good streak. I've been on like a 12-year streak of not getting sunburn badly. Nice. Absolutely. I haven't been sunburned since Myrtle Beach, 1996. I got bubbling blisters on my shoulders. It was tremendous.

Yeah. Like we put sunscreen on, but mom didn't supervise it. And she was like, do you put sunscreen on? I was like, yeah. But like I missed some spots on my shoulders. And I went out skimboarding all day and just got roasted. You went skimboarding. Oh, I went on skimboard right away.

I loved skimboarding. I wouldn't think your ankles were suitable for skimboarding. They're kind of a weak link over there. There's no like, I can stand up. I had pretty good balance on the skinboard. Like I can't write a skateboard. Like I'll fall off that bitch. But like skinboarding, I was okay.

Like I wasn't going out and like doing flips and alleys or anything. But I would catch a wave and I'd be on it for a good three or five seconds or something like that. You're skinboarding at Myrtle Beach. That's about as good as it gets. Yeah, it was really fun. I like to skimboard as a teenager. I did a lot of those balance sports. I was good at skating.

I was particularly good at surfing. So the only thing I could do on a skinboard, the waves on the East Coast were kind of weak, or at least where I was, to like go out and surf and turn around and come back and everything. But the beach was shallow, so you'd go on that really thin water.

Yeah. I'd run really fast. I'd jump on the board. I'd grab a handful of sand and then do that thing that figure skaters do where you pull your arms in and just spin, spin, spin, spin, spin, until I ran out of speed.

That was like my whole skinboarding routine. I just did that again and again. It's kind of autistic. in the hindsight to just spin in circles on a skimboard, but that's what I did. I wasn't stimming. I was skimming. It's different.

Well, I mean, huge news for you, Woody. Stanley McCain's. Yes, yes, Raleigh on the map now. It probably was on the map before. But yeah, well, champs, I had lost faith. I want to say it was PKK, maybe a week ago. I was like, man,

like we were like down to one or something and I was like it doesn't look good and then we won the next three does that sound right one three two yeah yeah I think didn't they win four in a row because Vegas won the first two right I thought they split the first two but I could be wrong oh you might be right I didn't pay as much attention as I generally do to this family cup final this year everyone stoked on the World Cup which I don't even know if we're good. I can't tell you how little I care about the World Cup. I really, the only thing that's been interesting that came out of it is the amount of people who are like, holy shit, Americans are actually nice.

I haven't been shot at. No one's co-jacked me like Grand Theft Auto. Like I haven't been beaten up by a minority. Like the authorities haven't ran my numbers or anything. Like America's kind of nice. You guys, media. is insane. We are friendly.

We're nice people. Actually, I've heard that almost said to be one of our flaws. You know, a little too chatty, a little too, you know, willing to talk to strangers. Agraries. There you go. Yeah. It's not so bad unless you're elementary school student. Yeah, I mean, it depends where the fuck you are, you know.

Like, like there's nice places and bad places everywhere. And they're often only separated by. just a couple miles or something. You can, in Atlanta, there will be one gas station where it's like, ooh, you make fresh cappuccino here, a barista, wonderful. And then you'll drive to the next exit, and you'll immediately, the rap music will be so loud and thumpy, and the smell of weed will be so powerful.

And there will be competing beggars at the gas station who have beef. And it's like, I got, you know better, you know better, Shalee. And it's like, are they going to, I hope they don't join forces because I can't take them both. Like it'll be sketchy as fuck. It's not, you need a roll

of scotch tape and a bunch of ones and just be like, put on this thing, now compete. Yeah. Bloodsport. Atlanta gas stations are, there are some sketchy ones. You know,

they're in there in the full plexiglass armor, like sliding the money through like an armored drawer where like you couldn't even put a pistol like down in and pointed at them. Like they're, it's like, They're banking in Africa or something like that. We got those.

Yeah. Yeah. Stores that sell sex toys have that too. And I'm like, why is this such a high crime thing? Like, yeah. I think they've got a lot of stuff behind the counter that's valuable.

And also they're often open 24-7. And there'll be like one person in there, sometimes a girl at four in the morning, guarding everything. So it's not. And also you've got like horny loons coming in there at four in the morning so you want to protect yourself from any rapist i guess so and i'm not talking about like the shadiest ones that have glory holes in the back or what's your favorite

i'm big lion's lying is in the name yeah look at that yeah the classy one we have here is called adam and eve i think that's that's a good one too that's even more classy that's that's that's the classiest of them that it's too classy for my tastes that's too classy i get down a little bit, all right? Yeah. There's not a beaten curtain. You're not in. Yeah. Is that the glory of reference?

I'm not sure. Yeah. There's some of them that have like full on like sex clubs and like party environments in the back. And and there's all sorts of crazy stuff. That exists here. And I even stepped inside one once. I was looking at used trucks at the time. I was thinking about getting an F-250.

This is before my current truck. It's there. I've got to wait around a few. No, it was, they were literally next to each other, the dealership and this, it was an adult bookstore. So I like walk in and I'm like, what do they even? How is this business model functional? Because it's VHS tapes everywhere.

I'm like, what? How old is this inventory? There were some like DVDs, but VHS tapes really dominated it. Sex toys that I would not trust inside like a human that they just feel like they're their expiration date somehow. It might have been 15, 25 years old. This one's gummied at a touch. And then there were like beaded curtains in the back and stuff.

And that's where I kind of noped out. I was pussy about it, I guess. But yes, I think oftentimes, I think the legitimate part of it is they've got like booths back there where you can go in and put like dollar bills or even tokens in and just watch pay-per-view porno. And it smelled like urine. That was part of why I noped out. I was just like, yeah.

Not urine. I come, I would understand, but urine? Right. That's what it vibed him. I've smelled both. Okay. I'd rather not have to come there, too. That just kind of shows they're not taking care of the place.

They're not wiping up. You need a towel boy back there. Yeah. Are they a rough job, right? Are you after the towel boy? That acrid, bleachy smell accumulating? No, thanks. You go back there and squeegee off the boobs?

I think you guys would be all about the UFC fight that happened where apparently Kyle you should be stoked that guy that you said had no shot in the world I think both of you said this guy had no shot on earth 20% goes out there and beats him up so much that he has his opponent had to like go and get reconstructive surgery immediately afterwards oh yeah dude you can see it in the fight like his his bone was he had like a pokey cheek bone coming out from like right here in his face. And they're like, they made a mention to it in the reference,

but I'm like, his skull is broken. He should stop the fight right now. Like right super now. Not one more punch to the broken. I think it's his orbital bone. That's what I predict what it was. And I'm like,

he shouldn't take one more punch to that orbital bone. And then he quit on the stool. And I don't know what everyone else was thinking. But I was like, good call. Good call. He's. They were calling him one of the greatest of all times, all time. He's out a heck of a run and he's terrific.

He's the guy. He's the pound for pound number one guy in the world. He's so fast. He's so technical. He ran 145. He took a Volkanowski. Khabib made light work of Gichi, the guy that just broke his face. He owned Gachi so thoroughly.

He had him in an arm bar and he was ready to break his arm. But Kabeeb had talked to Gaichi's parents the night before and found them to be really kind, nice. I think they're Midwesterners. And he just liked him. And he's like, there's no way I'm breaking their son's arm in front of them. So he had such control of the fight, such dominance. He switched it to a rear naked choke, which is the kindest way to beat somebody. And he just choked him.

One left him unenjured. So there were a couple of fights I thought that looked better. and like fighters, I mean to say. Khabib's run has gotten stronger with Gaichi as the undisputed champion and him on his resume in the way that he beat him. John Jones run also got strong. I don't like to admit it. I don't have kind things to say about John Jones. But when he beat gone, I think, yeah.

When he beat gone, I was like, gone is a chump. He's only fighting him because he dodged in Ghanu. Now, gone doesn't look like a chump at all. It only looked like that when he fought, well, when he fought John Jones, he didn't have the same resume he does today. And, uh, uh, or at least maybe I just wasn't aware of how good gone was. So now seeing what gone is doing, I'm like, shit, that Jones fight looks better in hindsight. And the Khabib fight looks, but those are two of my takeaways from the UFC. Yeah, Jones choked him out in the first round, submitted him, uh, like it was nothing, didn't get a mark on him.

MMA math just doesn't work unfortunately. I wish it did because like look at so Gachey lost to Max Holloway like a few months ago. Holloway knocked Gachie unfucking conscious. Holloway is now going to fight Connor McGregor next month. The winner of that fight will likely

get to fight Gachy for the undisputed light heavyweight title. Connor McGregor is one win away from the title because Gachy somehow pulled off this fluke. If Eelio won this, never has there been more of a pivotal moment for two fighters careers because if Ilya won that fight like he was supposed to

like a million dollars paid $5.7 million Arman Zeruki and bet a million on Yechi won $5.7 million on this fight. If Ilya wins this, not only does he win $875,000 worth of bonuses

which was what was on the table, he also gets whatever he gets as this double champ for winning and all the stuff that comes that and then his next fight he can finally get them to give him the chance at triple champ going up to 170 to fight islam makachib who was an obviously undersized 170 pounder guy because he was the reigning 155 founder for a decade opportunity that's not always there there's this opportunity for him to be an 18 and 0 double champ going for triple champ against an opponent who he's got a he's got a

chance against. His striking was beautiful. I have never seen body shots like the ones he put on Gagis. And I've never seen anyone survive. He ripped them better than I've, he ripped them the way that you see them done in like training manuals. When a guy just stands there and allows you to put it in perfect, he was pivoting and digging with this shovel like motion. And when it made, he hit the liver perfectly and then the spleen perfectly. And when they would make contact, it was, Are you one of those media strategy people clicking through slides, scrolling spreadsheets? Yes? Good. This is for you. Because on Spotify, there's an audience that's different. Locked in. Loyal, invested. They're called fans. Fans don't just listen to music. They feel seen by it like it belongs to them. So when your brand shows up on Spotify, that's who you're talking to. And you're right next to artists like me, Lizzo. So, are you ready to talk to fans?

Spotify advertising. You're among fans. Hey y'all, it's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder, what if? Like, what if it doesn't hold up? That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair. With Wayfair, there's no what if. Just style you love and quality you can trust.

Visit Wayfair.cair, every style, every home. Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. One thing that's great about this card is we only had like 4,000 fans there, like, near the octagon. You had great audio. It was this perfect medium between what we had during the COVID days when there was no crowd virtually and what you normally have in the arena where it's drowning out all the body impacts and the fighter

shit talking and everything. It was one of the greatest cards I've ever seen. It's definitely on the Mount Rushmore of UFC cards all time. I called every single fight, Woody, right, until the main event. Okay. Every single one of them. But I told you

Are there any other upsets? I don't know if they were upsets, but I got them all right. And I didn't look at what the odds were. I went on like, But obviously. Yeah. Yeah. And I told Chis the day before, I'm like, hey, if you want to do a parlay, I know you're betting on World Cup, I think I know what this card's going to do.

And so he took like five of my picks for that plus like two World Cup games into this big parlay. He was winning. He was going to win a decent amount of money until Gaichi won. And every time my fighter would, Chis would be like, I don't know, this is looking bad. And I'm like, don't worry, we got this. And then like 30 seconds later, like Diego Lopez would knock the guy out or Sean O'Malley would knock the guy out. And I would just go four for four, five for five, six for six. And then that Gaichi fight happens.

And I couldn't have been happier to have been proven wrong. I was, I don't love Gaichi. He's not my favorite guy. But damn, that was a good fight. I think Connor McGregor is going to get smoked. I think the ring rust is going to eat him up. The thing is, I'm adding him to my. list of recent absolutely short things. I was just as short Strickland would lose and Gache

would lose. So that's why they fight the fights. Yeah, this isn't one of those like where one guy was just a good, a really good wrestler and you just don't think the other guy can deal with it. And so this guy's favored over the other one. Ilya's the total package. His primary skill set is grappling. Like he's learned the striking over the last five or six years or whatever and perfected it. He's taken everybody out. He's not. him out. He's so good. He's so technical. And Gaichi is the opposite. He's Homer fucking Simpson. He is the like looting punches, storm into danger with uppercuts and eat two on the way in kind of guy. So you just knew that he was going to get knocked out. But he was too stupid to get knocked out.

Did Gaichi look excellent or did Tepuriah look bad? They both looked excellent. Yeah. For some reason, a lot of Teporea's damage was to the body, which doesn't show. but the damage Gachi delivered was to pour his face. And I couldn't tell if there were eye pokes or not. He like rubbed his eye and stuff. Like there was a poke. Oh, there was a thumb, right? Yeah, there was a left jab and the thumb went into the eye as it sort of scooted past the temple.

There was an earlier, the first time his eye came back bloody and it looked like he was bleeding from his eyeball. I was like, was that a, was those knuckles or was there a finger in there? I couldn't tell. Gagy throws these like swatting strikes where he's hitting with this part of his hand. And he's throwing him so goddain, he's throwing with everything he has. And so there's a lot of scrapes and abrasions. But that's what broke that orbital. Like, it's because he's just pawing at you from this like top right to bottom left angle over and over with these.

And when he would hit him, it was loud. It reminded me of the Tony Ferguson fight how every time he'd hit, Tony, it sounded like wet meat getting hit, like as hard as you can, like defenseless wet meat in the kitchen. Like rocky and the busher. Like you're slapping a big steak to show off to your wife. Look at this hunker. And it was this wet slap.

And he did. And every time he'd do it, Tony by the end was shaking his head like the way a wounded animal will. Like it was disgusting. The downside was this. I like fighting. I've been into the UFC since the 90s. That's pretty early to get on board. And I've been into it forever.

I really enjoy it. But my fucking God, the ads. The ads were, since they went to Paramount, the night must be 85% ads, literally, 85% advertisements. And this card, literally every single fight stopped early, which just meant even more ads. So they just fill it with ads and ads and ads. And new with the Paramount deal, it used to be between rounds.

You'd hear the coach's advice to the different corners, which I'm super invested in. I want to know what they see. I've trained a little and I've watched forever, but I still don't. Like, I would be a terrible coach. I can't tell you what you should be doing. And so I'm really invested in what the coaches are seeing, what they tell them. Is it mental? Is it technical?

Sometimes I pretend I'm on the stool almost. Like what kind? I want advice on. how to get through this guard. That's what I want mechanics. But other people need the like calm down, take a breath. This is fine. Like they're looking for that level of coaching. And what they get, I'm super invested in. What I get now ads for fucking dodge trucks instead between rounds. And I'm like, I can't believe between every round. Imagine if like pro football between plays had ads. Just just, oh my God, they're not going to be playing again for 30 seconds to squeeze in a quick one. That is what the

UFC is done. And I, they're, they're ruining their show for me. So I, I don't know exactly how they're doing it. I thought they were giving you that thing you like for the co-main and the main, the five-round fights. Definitely the main, maybe both. But yeah, I, I, I was shocked that they were putting ads between rounds now. There's 60 seconds between rounds. And usually you hear both coaches a little bit. And not at the, not, not anymore. No more, you know, I mean, we were stealing it before. Well, it's paramount. It's a monthly subscription. Yeah, but the event

it's like $15 or $18 a month or something like that. But if you compare the cost of like all the events you're getting now to stream for free with your subscription, you used to have to pay the subscription to ESPN, which I would bundle with Disney and Hulu.

And then by the time I was done with that, I still had to buy these $80 pay-per-views. It's a huge savings. I'm with you. I would like less ads, but at least they're ads for stuff that I'm like, oh, that is a nice truck. Oh, look, Dana White's in the commercial. That's nifty. That's not how I see ads. They're all obnoxious. Let me tell you, some of the ads, it reminded me a little bit of Paul Verhoeven movies of like Robocop in the beginning when they have the satirical ads that suggest a like a dystopic future. Like, oh my God,

this is what they advertise in the future. This is so dark. Anderil had this scary fucking ad. Andorill's ad was like, what is this product? It's a military industrial company. Yeah, that makes like death drones and shit like that. And AI controlled terminators and stuff like that.

Anderil is like, we are the arsenal of democracy. When evil does fire a robocop. I swear to this is weird, the arsenal of democracy. And the video was like rockets and drones and explosions and death and

like when evil rises its head above the murk, we are there. We are in the darkness. We are in the light. We are and a rail. Boom, boom, boom, and I'm saying,

fuck, can't get any worse than that. That was dystopic as shit. I'm scared now. I'm an American. And then Trump's commercial play. Trump's commercial is like, it's like,

it's for all the armed forces, but it had some Trump shit in it. And it's like, when America's enemies dare, we'll be there and it was literally drone footage of Houthis being killed it was literally

you saw like 60 Houthis like men standing in a circle in the desert and then they all explode and die that's just part of the commercial same day we lost the Iran war tell me more well but that was a conflict and not a war so it doesn't count

it doesn't go on our record that was like a preseason They were, you know, and there were some, like, there were some nice graphic stuff for America's birthday. They played, they had this, people call it AI slot, but I thought it looked fine, and I appreciated it. But it was telling the story of Francis Scott Key and the, the national anthem and how, and then they show Scott Key and the, you know, in the British ship being held prisoner. And they explained that the fort is holding. And if the fort fails, then America could fail. And it was good.

I liked it. There was a couple things like that. I liked the Dana-Way commercial. I'm not the biggest Dana White fan. It's for a Dodge truck. Yeah, yeah. I can't remember all the lines, but he's like, I think he's saying there's nothing more American than a Dodge truck, which is horseshit. Who owns Chrysler nowadays?

I don't know. He's a company. The Eichler was originally like a, no, go ahead. It was an American truck in the 70s or 80s, but it's not anymore. And anyway, he's like, you got something to say, say it. You got something to prove? prove it. And holy shit, is Dana White the best pitch man on earth right now? Because I saw that commercial 25 times that night. And every time I'm like, he's fucking

killing it right here. He did great. Honey, we're getting to dodge. Like, yeah. And by the way, the truck that Dana was driving in the commercial is like a $120,000 truck or something. It's one of those 700 horsepower mega trucks. Of course it is. They're not going to put some of bullshit baseline no features model in the commercial yeah yeah steel wheels and everything that much money good golly yeah everybody makes a super truck now with like 700 horsepower or something like a raptor type truck yeah yeah like like turboed up hemis and shit like that i don't really follow it too closely but i know everybody makes one of those i feel like i bought my truck two years before covid when the prices started spiking on everything and i'm just going to hide in that

purchase for the next 15 years I drive my truck so little I barely I had to replace the battery in it I let it go flat I hardly use my truck I used it today but yeah not much yeah I don't really have me what was the fight I

saw people on Twitter getting up in arms about one of the fights where apparently a dude was doing like elbows to the back of the head punches to the back of the head that was illegal can't do it so gone is one of the 30est fighters in the UFC. He's the guy that I poked Tom Aspinall before, like in the fight before this one.

And did he hit him in the back of the head? I think so. I think there were a few hits in the back of the head. Was he going to win anyway? I also think so. That whole fight was just trending his way. And when he hit him in the back of the head, the other guy was like already down on his hands and knees.

Like he had done some clean damage prior to that. And he just a couple elbows at the back of the head. head, then a bunch of punches to the face. It was just part of the barrage. Everybody's drawing diagrams of like what's legal and what's not and playing clips of refs, like, drawing this like rectangle on the nape followed by a very thin mohawk that proceeds up the back of the skull toward the front.

And it's like, dude, they're 500 pounds of man grappling and one of them is frantically trying to strike the other one in the skull. If he's off by a centimeter or two, what do you want them to do? Stop and say, hey, I know you got this guy. this tough motherfucker 90% knock the fuck out but you were a centimeter to the right on that one I'm gonna take a point

from you and let him recover. Of course not. Like I love Pereira I wanted him to win that fight. Triple champ shit is cool. I hate gone but I thought that was clean. Like he caught, gone caught him with this. He thought it was actually clean? Because you just said it's dirty but we don't call all the dirt, right?

What I'm saying is like you would need to go frame by frame and like zoom in and pivot for me to know what was clean and what wasn't. But like most of them were clean. Like I saw him hitting him around the ears, around the like temple area lots. And it was like,

the only few, only through two or three illegal blows. It was frantic. It's not like he was like, all right, let me aim this. He was in a hurry when he was illegally elbowing him to the back of the head.

That's true. You know, those are not reasons to not call it. That's what you do sport works, Woody, these don't count if it's an accident. It didn't look. Accidentally slash someone in the hands.

What I nearly forgot was the thing about fight, they give you so many like free fouls. You know, I don't know how many eye pokes you can get away with, but more than two and that's all it takes to get one in each eye. I don't know how many times you can grab the fence, but five, six times before they take a point, like you really have to work hard to get a foul called against you.

in MMA. And so their reffing was in line with our expectations, but they were illegal blows. The eye poke thing is so much worse than the back of the head hits. It didn't look that bad.

I saw a video of Aspinall recently. Like this was in the past few days. I saw it on social media. His eye is still fucked up. Yeah. His eyes still looks wonky. The MMA fan base thinks

he exaggerated his injuries. I don't. And you don't too. Okay. But it looks fucked up. I don't. I literally, I'll die, not understanding the difference between an explanation and an excuse.

I don't get it. I don't get it. Guy gets poked in the eye, clearly damaged. He had surgery on that eye. And everyone's like, quit it with the excuses. I'm like,

but it's not an explanation. Please help me get it. Help me get it. I never understand. Yeah. It's like how could it be an exaggeration? There's like a still of his opponent like knuckle deep in his eye socket. Like that you think that's just something you go,

ah, that's smarts and then it's fine. Like, no, that causes real damage. Right. And typically the fighters that push through that sort of thing and keep fighting lose. Let me see, but, uh... Yeah. We're showing some lumps on the back of his head. But you think those are legal lumps.

Some of them are gray and some of them are... There's definitely a bad one there. I just think, but like, I think that the way that exchange was going, what it happened was, gone had rocked Pereira, repeatedly, legally.

And Pereira had went for a single leg and was like around his hip. And he was holding on to him with his head around the guy's belly button area. And so the guy starts elbowing the head that's right there. And it was fast. It wasn't like, was like lining them up and dropping them.

It was this rapid fire, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. And the whole time, Pereira's moving because he doesn't want to get hit in the head anywhere. I just don't blame gone if some of them went a foul there.

I agree. He's super dirty. I wish you could get hit by a truck. I really do. Truck would be totaled. He's huge. Not a tie. It'd be a tie.

Gone would be totaled, too. Yeah, yeah, they'll be totals. Yeah. I just can't hate on him. for that. Like, like, I just feel like that happens in the fight. Like, I've seen them before where the guys were there on the ground and the guy has time to like line them up.

And it's like, whoa, that was intentional. It's one of these things that I see across all sports where it's like, if I saw a player who I believe to be a Boy Scout, like, do a high stick for the first time, I'd look at it one way.

If I saw a guy who gets called for high sticking every gosh darn game, I be like I'm done to giving this guy second, third, fifth, six chances. Yeah. Yeah. I feel that. Like there does need to be a little bit of leeway.

There's nothing to do about it. Like in this scenario, like there's no way you can stop the fight in that moment when they're kind of borderline like that. You could. But I don't know if it'd be the right call. The thing is it like in the Aspinall fight, I, Aspinall might have won that if there weren't eye pokes. I don't think he was winning, but it was early enough that we.

don't really know how it was going to develop. 29 strikes to 27 or something. It was a close competitive fight, and people give Gond the advantage because he had bloodied Aspinall's nose. In this fight, Gahn was really taking it to him. And illegal strikes to the head or not, I think he wins. I thought I had doubts. Like, I picked Gond to win, but when I saw them square up in the early parts of the first

round, Pereer was flicking his right kick up there really fast. and it just seemed like, oh. Yeah. Have you ever sparred with someone who kicks well? No. I've never been kicked. The first time I did that, I didn't realize how invisible kicks could be.

Like I'm really hyper-focused on this guy's hands. I'd come from him like boxing. And he's fucking kicks, he was kicking me in the knee, kicking me in the leg, kicking me in the shoulder, purpose because he's a professional fighter and I'm a dumbass. And I don't know.

I just kept thinking that he's not telegraphing these kicks enough for me. I wish he would let me know they're coming. And Pereira's the best of that. His low kicks are the most disguised and yet powerful and quick low kicks I've ever seen. Seemingly with no wind up or change of stance, he just goes, and like a praying mantis, he flicks it out and it's not one of those whippy kicks that's that's like a pop it's a strong kick that seems like it's going to eventually tear tendons and connect it's not i thought that about his high kicks like he's not yeah i can't throw a high kick i'm 53 years old but let's pretend right you'd see me

make faces like a baby about to poop like leading up to it ganier there's no tell there's no nothing his shoulders his hands oh i'm sorry perere his shoulders his hands his shoulders his hands his facial expression nothing gives away that from barely outside of sight there's a foot headed towards your head. And then like the highlight of the night for me, like I was, Chis and I were on texting back and forth, like as we watched the fight and having fun like joking around about it and stuff. And I was filling him in about the fighters that he doesn't know and the backgrounds and

why these guys don't like each other and all that shit. Why Diego Lopez has that haircut, all this shit. And then like it was the Hocket fight. And I was like, dude, this one is more in the. bank than anything tonight. I was like, Derek Lewis is 41 years old. He has been a fatso who quits on the ground multiple times. It is 80 fucking degrees in high humidity.

He is sweating bullets in the back room of the White House right now. He was sweating bullets at the press conference at the Lincoln Memorial. Josh Hokit is an NFL player. Josh Hokit is a legit professional athlete who's 27. or maybe 28 years old, a young guy in his physical prime who was already an NFL caliber talent and he has such good cardio in a three-round heavyweight bout. Like nothing I've ever seen. Interrupt for a second.

I saw a video and the title was like, you know, Derek Lewis headed into the octagon. I'm like, okay, let's see this. And I click on it. It's like 12 villagers carrying a sedated boar. it went exactly the way I said it would Hokit bullied him Hokit told him at the Lincoln Memorial Don't you quit on me

Don't you quit on me in that cage Don't you steal my glory Or I'll poop your ass in the parking lot I'll put your ass in a parking Like you hear me big boy And fuck that's hard And there's not even a mic It's just what he's saying

Like they're like looking it up like second hand And sure enough Like Hokit was playing with his food. He had this arm bar that was clearly not sunk in at the end of the first, and he like cranked it, and he, and he, like, looked at the camera and went, like, ah, like he was like, like a cartoon character when they're exerting themselves. Like, he was going super sion. He fucked up that arm bar. Does he suck at arm, I don't know why he couldn't finish with it. He wanted, he wanted, he wanted, he wanted the K.O. finish on the feet. I think he was,

all he had to do was pivot a little and twist his arm, but he was just, I think he was just playing with his food. There's two ways to get that arm bar more extreme. You can either put it next to your rib cage so it bends back farther or you can arch your hips. And I used to use a cup. I wore a cup specifically for arm bars because it creates a fulcum where you can pivot better than like your pubic bone. And all these guys have on these massive Muay cups in MMA. So I don't know why he couldn't finish it, but he didn't. I don't think you wanted to.

And then he just continued. It was so fun to watch him just come in. He's so fast. And he was hitting him with four punch combinations at heavyweight. And you'd hear him. And then Derek Lewis would go, ooh, with like a charged attack. Like you held down the B button for a second and a half and then let go.

He would lunge with this big looping attack that you could see his stamina bar go down in real life. And then Josh would come in, and then back up, and then and then, and they did that for a round until he couldn't take it anymore. And he beat him down. He beat him down. And then he gets on the, I'm like, here it comes.

Don't go to the bathroom. Chiz. Josh Hokit's getting the microphone. And he says, Michelle Obama is a man. Oh, my right, America. And nobody says shit. The crowd doesn't say anything. And he says,

Joe Rogan standing there. What were you thinking in the first? like Joe Rogan's holding the mic and he won't let go so Josh Hockett is holding both hands around Joe Rogan's hand like controlling the mic too

and then he said I didn't like the Michelle Obama was a man I know I'm the lib on here I don't like that either that's very indignified doesn't fit that's pretty that's not very uncool she didn't do shit to this guy

she probably doesn't know who he is probably not watching she's I never I've never seen Michelle Obama do anything other than try to make kids not fat by making school lunches healthy and playing a fucking garden one time. She seems like a nice lady. I've seen her on that podcast. She seems chill as fuck. I think she was on a podcast, that podcast with like her and Dave Chappelle. And it's like, this is a nice lady. Like I got, I got no beef with her. Yeah, man. Everybody's got a podcast now. It's an odd fusion. Her and Dave Chappelle, I wouldn't picture that. Yeah. Yeah. So I,

I didn't like what he said. It was funny in the moment because it's so, I knew he was going to say something awful, you know? Like, I knew it was going to be something wild. I wish he'd gone the other way and then like a real badass would have mentioned that. Epstein didn't kill himself. Lombed did it. Not me.

Not me. Please. I'm not suicidal. As they dragged the microphone from me. I'm not suicidal. That would be funny and brave. But instead he took the easy route. That would be funnier.

Yeah. That wouldn't have fun of shit. The card, like, so when they announced the card, I was like, man, I don't know if I like this. Because normally there's an A side and a B side. This is what MMA guru said, you were here. He's like, but in this fight, it's like there's an A and a C all the way through. But then every single car, every single fight ends in a knockout. And I'm like, shit, maybe I don't like evenly match fights.

Maybe I like it when they take a world champion against freaking Woody's Game or tag and see how it goes. Because they were They were competitive early You know like like O'Malley's fight was a little competitive early And then O'Malley fucking Lopez is too And it's like man at 135

This guy has crazy speed and power When he pops somebody with that right They go down like they're Is Lopez? Did he fight Garcia? Is that sound right to you? But I didn't know the fighter He was fighting very well

And I know Lopez I know he's gone up and fault not gone up but he's fought bulk twice and lost it's not the O'Malley punch I don't understand how there was that much power in it that's the thing like for a 135er he has a tremendous amount of power

he knocks people the fuck out Kyle said it right because sometimes like at 135 this guy's an absolute knockout artist and then he goes to like 145 and suddenly he's not the knockout artist he was before that's in the main event co-main event Piera,

I always get it close but wrong. He's an absolute knockout artist at 185 and he's got power in his hands at 205 and then at heavyweight he loses. Seems that way. Against this heavyweight. I think this is the best heavyweight we have to fight

in the UFC and gone. I would like to see Pereira fight Hockett. I think that would be a slobber knocker of a fight where Hockett ends up taking enormous amounts of damage but just keeps persevering and they gets knocked the fuck out that would be a really good fight. Is hockey a huge guy?

Hawkins heavyweight but he's a smaller heavy way he's more like uh 225 235 somewhere in the honestly so the the weight class below him ends at 205 and his body kind of belongs at 205 according to me sometimes guys who lose like 20 pounds of fat lose all their endurance all the things that made them good so I could be wrong but I don't think he's big enough to be a heavyweight. They said some of the like all-time grates that he was the same size as and I was sold but now I can't remember that was

back when the greats were small like Randy Cotor Fador Japanese cans 245 I think bigger I think he's good I think Hulk I think Hokk it is ranked fourth now

behind Pavlovich and Spearvok or Spearok or whatever and then gone. I think he's the fourth or fifth ranked heavyweight in the world right now, deservedly. I think he's Brandon Schwab level, which is like he keeps it fourth or fifth. Brennan Schwab was like fourth or fifth. Yeah, but in a time.

It's just a really shallow division. It's a shallow division, but I think he's better than his ranking. I think he is going to get a title shot. I think he's very good. The way he took Curtis blades apart was so impressive. He has cardio. Like he, I don't know how. many punches he threw in that three round fight, but it was the most I've ever seen a heavy

weight throw. I've never seen a heavyweight throw that many shots, um, like without tiring completely out, especially when you got back. Jones and DC used to throw a lot of punches too, and they went five rounds, not two. Yeah, but that's that heavyweight. Like, like, I said heavyweight. Yeah, but at heavyweight. Oh, wait, yeah, they didn't fight at heavyweight, did they? Um, they were heavyweight champions separately. I'm, I think I'm wrong. Yeah. In any case, throws a ton of volume. I like his shtick. He's got multiple characters. He's got down Vato.

He's got the incredible Hoke. And he's got Darth Hoke, who's like a like a like a like a like a like a Sith wearing the black tape and everything like that. And then he's got Josh. And Josh

is very like awkward and unsure of himself and he stutters and Josh. I'm so sorry that about what the incredible hope said I'm a big fan of yours actually. You and Pereira are two of my favorite fighters. It's the incredible hope.

And he's the one and then like the incredible hope takes over. Maybe if you hadn't married that Miami stripper, you're so short, you can't see yourself in the bathroom mirror. And it's like, this guy's got a stick. I like this shit. I like, I like, that's fun. A lot of fighters want to get by strictly on fighting talent. And, you know, some of them don't even learn English. And I have a hard time being a fan of people who are bad on the mic.

Look, if you're a girl, I swear this is true. There are two things people want from you. Win your fights and be hot. If you're a guy, win your fights and be good on the mic. And a lot of people skip the good on the mic part. They think that's an optional piece of their job. You know, Khab, his fighters all have to speak English. He's like, you don't get it.

If you want to get ahead, it's not just the Ws. It's the mic talk too. that's how it's an entertainment business it's sports entertainment and Hokic is the current like pound for pound micer he's hated unlike Reddit everybody talks

about how cringe he is like Gen Ziers cannot stand this kind of humor it like cringes them so bad that they literally can't tolerate it to me it's like this is gold he's playing both sides he's got everybody upset he's actually getting in his

opponent's head he was picking on people that he will never fight. He was picking on Ilya, the guy who's the little guy. Like he's picking on him. He's telling Alex Pereira, that's the other thing you said, is it, Alex Pereira's like catchphrase is chama. It's kind of like grouped. He just, it does, it means whatever a given situation requires. It could, it could be a greeting. It's like, it's like, uh, it could be a greeting. It could be an

insult. It could be like a war cry, chama. And he's like, I'm gonna chama on your mama. And it's like, that's pretty good. That's good enough. The bar is so low that I'm going to chama on your mama is an A-tier attack. And this is good stuff. That's well phrased. None of these guys would really thrive in the podcast realm. But the standards are low.

At the exception of like Chale and possibly McGregor, they could do it. Did you see what Gachie said about reading the Declaration of Independence while he was waiting to do his walkout? No. So they do the walkout from the Oval Office and Trump Megalomaniac that he has, he has the original Declaration of Independence on the wall. And Justin Gachia is standing there wrapped in an American flag, reading the Declaration. They're like, we saw you. We saw you read the Declaration of Independence.

Did you find any inspirational words there before you walk out? He's like, man, it was really cool to see that. I'm going to tell you, their language was a lot different back then. I couldn't read any of that. We've read it. It's not that hard. I can write in cursive. I'm old.

But honestly, sometimes when I look at the old school cursive, I have to like figure it out. Okay. Yeah. I've seen some of it where I'm like, that looks like Elvis to me. Yeah. You've got a lot of loops in there that seem like artistic flourishes rather than how you actually draw the letters. I still write and prefer.

Signatures can be like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, I thought it was a tremendous thing. I thought it was a little embarrassing at times. Like, you know, the flyovers and the way Trump and Dana. I watched it in the very beginning. I don't know if you did, but Trump and Dana White. It began with, it reminded me of the trumpets that you see in like gladiator movies, like the really loud royal triumphant trumpets. The boom, bo boom! And here comes the king and Dana White walking out of the Oval Office together like side by side.

And they do the long walk and the camera stays on them as they like come out like Vince McMahon together. and you know they had the all the jets were flying over something called a super delta they had a super delta formation where there was like extra planes and it wasn't just the thunderbird it's some sort of special air group that is they take the best from the navy air force and maybe the army too like there's thunderbirds and blue angels and they're they fly over that was cool uh the zach brown band i think did the national anthem really good that live band they had and that black chick really really good so I thought she was really talented but I didn't love the walkout songs it so Taylor if you didn't see it there was a guy and a girl both Marines dressed in like full Marine blues or something or Army I don't know and they were clearly part of like the Marine band but even though they were super good and I'd be loving it if I was like at a bar and they were singing on stage for a UFC event, it was like everything was a cover band.

You know, these songs, to me, like I associate them with the fighters. Like Tom Petty's don't back down when Chris Wyman walks in. That hits and I'm like, oh my God, we're really about to do a Chris Wyatman fight right now. But when you have a cover band doing it, it doesn't hit the same for me. And that's how I saw it. Do you remember what Josh Hokic's walkout music was? No, I don't remember. It's Hulk Hogan's music.

It's I am a real American. I am a real American I mean that's a great walkout for this event Yes it was so good all the planes flying over with the planes were sick I saw the clips online Does he always do that someone or was it special for the event? I don't remember In either case it like Josh Hokit is one of the few fighters who understand

that he works in entertainment Everyone else thinks it's just sports like But fighters can't get away with that in the same way that hockey players can. Yeah, I agree. I love it so much. It makes me interested in you. It's how I remember who you are.

Like, like, you know the easy trick? Do something with your hair. I don't think if Sugar Shane O'Malley didn't have pink hair and tattoos all over him, that he'd be quite as the star he is. It was almost his name too. Sugar Shona.

Sugar Chana. Sugar Cain O'Malley is what I call him in private. Sugar Cane O'Malley is actually pretty funny. I like that. That's better. Or even I like Patty Pimlet. Patty Pimlet cuts his hair like a retarded person. Yes.

He's an older fighter, but Chris Leibin used to have a different hair color for every fight. And they were all not colors that humans have. And it was just kind of memorable. And then when he came out, I was like, I wonder what we're getting tonight. Is it going to be pink? Could be blue.

Could be orange. I don't know. Yeah, I like stuff like that. I really do. I don't know. I thought it was a great night of fight. So I was very much entertained. I was worried there was going to be embarrassing moments with like technical failures or maybe a weather delay that would make the thing.

Like, all right, we're going to wrap up the mat with plastic and everybody's going to go into the White House. There's standing room only because we have finished that ballroom. And then we'll see what happens like three in the morning. We're waiting on the main event or something. None of that happened. A little. There was a 30 minute delay. knew that? Yeah, at the very beginning.

Yeah, before it started. Yeah. They had that was that tech or weather. Weather. They had the ellipse out there with like tens of thousands of people watching the Jumbotrons. That was really impressive.

That's where like the real fans were because everybody around the Octagon was invite only. It was like half military and half like invite tickets. Everybody got different amounts of the military thing was interesting. You know they had to meet like body standards to get invite. Yeah. And I honestly I see it because like so Hegseth has made a public like fussing about

military body standards more so than I can remember any other secretary of the war doing. And so then when like the fat national guardsmen start protecting D.C. everyone points and laughs. And this time they got ahead of that. And they're like, no, no, no, no, no. Everyone needs a square jaw, a six-pack, you know, high and tight hair. Every one of you needs to be from central casting, and they were. You're muted, Kyle.

I was impressed with the group at the ellipse. It was like hot as fuck out there, I guess. Everybody's got their shirts off, waving them over their heads. It looked like a party. It looked like a fun environment. It looked like a vibe. Yeah. I bet they were having a blast. Sean Strickland showed up at that

part of the event. was mobbed by fans and had to be escorted out by police. And then he's like on like live in a paddy wagon. He's like, well, it didn't work out. I don't think I'm under arrest technically, but they're definitely removing me. He's like, I don't know what laws I broke. And then was he in a paddy wagon? I thought he was in a holding cell or something.

But maybe that's what the inside of a paddy wagon looks like. Had to get him out of there. There's some great photos of. of him running and smiling flanked by like six cops and then 30 white dudes with their shirts off who just want to hang out and they're all chasing them

that's great yeah like Sean Strickland would be a problem Sean beats five Woody's I don't know I think he gets me 30 Woody's well that's a lot but how many Woody's can really fight at once

I don't know I always 30 you got it I just think if we all get our hands on this guy in quick succession. I think if five Woody's have to fight him one after the other, like run a train on him,

he kills you all. Yeah, he kills you all easily. I just hope he's not gay. Five, you, five, me and five Taylor. Like, I truly believe that. He could kill like 15 of us in a... Back to back. Yeah, but if...

But I still think that like three or four grown men who are serious about what they're doing, and motivated and nobody's well I don't know if I want to get in a fight today we're all like yeah dude today's fight day we've been training for this that left arm is mine you've been doing nothing but training on attacking left arms on dummies for six months I think we take it I just do

I just like maybe he catches one of us coming in but if we lay hands on him and he doesn't kill one of us immediately with a kick or a punch once there are six arms on this man I don't care who he is he's in trouble he'll definitely catch one of us coming in Like, that's not an if. That's the thing. He's going to. He's now he's got three heads to hit.

How effectively can he one-tap us before the real fight starts? That's the hell-case. Honestly, we got to pray that he tags me, because I think I might be able to fight through it a little. You might have the best chin in the group. You might have the best chin in the group. I just feel like I want to come in like this and make him kick me. Like, like I... Oh, look at that uppercut you're leaving me.

I mean, we're, you know. I mean, I mean, maybe. If he's throwing an upper cup to me, he's fully committed. You know, it's not like a jab where he can then, you know, pivot to his next move. He's gotten in close with me. I'm going to tumble to my knees and die, but now you both have him. Now you both have forearms on Sean Strickland. And Taylor's biting with those massacters of his.

Oh, my God, the secret weapon. He's doing like, he's a aga-gagagagat-gagat-gagat-you. You don't train small-digit manipulation, do you? Ah, can't kick so hard without your calf. I think I'm just going to take that off. You better think a chunk out of Sean Strickland because I'm going to need a minute to recover from that uppercut. A minute? No, I think you're gashed out after an uppercut from that guy.

Any of us are. I mean the pain alone, I might make me just pussy out from a whole ordeal, you know? I don't know what it feels like to get punched in the face by a professional fighter. But it hurts. Terrible, I bet. Yeah. It's probably really unpleasant. But I still think numbers win over, like, tremendous skill gaps.

I just think they do. I think back to those old paintings of, like, eight guys with spears fighting a mammoth. I, like, I just think that a coordinated group of people beats huge skill gaps and size gaps every time. That's what you think. You're going, you're going all the way back to, like, prehistoric, like, finger paints on carefuls. That's like the biggest example of it, you know, the way that our ancestors were able to fight fucking mastodons with stone tipped spears. That could have been their own fantasy, though. Those guys probably got fucked up by mastodons and mammoths.

We ate the mastodon into extinction. Kyle. We ate all of them. We ate the giant armadillo. There's a reason of that megafauna left. We ate the giant armadillos into extinction. You can see the caves that they lived in still. they're big enough to walk through standing straight up

and you can see these massive claw marks. We used to make dwellings out of their shells. They were so big. I have seen that. That's pretty tight. Do you think there's an untrained woman on earth who could beat you? Because I'm going to give it to Rhonda Rousey. She'll find some way to beat me.

No, there's no untrained woman on earth. They could beat me. Really? She's 320 pounds fresh off of a fight with a Buick. I'm painting a picture here. and now she wants you. What does she normally do? Like what is, what is she?

Her normal job? She's a flag man at a construction site. Oh, she's, I would beat her to that. You've painted quite a picture. I like that. Yeah. I was going to say, I was going to say TSA agent. No, I would, I would punch her in the nose and she would crumple.

Like, every single fucking time. I think I'd get her off balance. I, when people get too heavy, I would ever want to do her. Yeah. I'm not afraid of her hitting me, so I could just walk right up to her and like hip throw her. Or I could just put a leg, I could, I could just do a simple thing where I loop my left leg

around her leg and push. Like, I don't even need to pivot. She's so heavy. I don't know if the body controls as easy to accomplish as you're putting it out. I think she's top light and bottom heavy and a good solid like, like shove like that and she's going to go off balance. and if she doesn't, like, I'm just going to start punching her in the face. I can be any woman in the world up who's untrained, 100%.

Yeah. Like, maybe a power lifter. Like, if you had one of those, like, Brock Lizzer's daughter is, well, she's a wrestler, isn't she? Like, like, girls like that, I don't go fuck with her. I know better than that. You might still be her. I don't know how big she is. There's no soccer mom who, like, sells Mary Kay on the planet that I can't fucking

duke with, all right? I'm going to let you know right now. I just can't believe it. I'm trying to picture the girl who's not afraid. of a Chevy Malibu, right? Did she get hit by one? Kyle, you've watched enough women fight cars. You know who I'm talking

about. Oh, okay. I've seen some of those girls that seem like, you know, I was thinking about white women. You didn't tell me. Yeah, I've seen some of those ghetto. And they're not going to play by the rules, yeah. Yeah, but I don't have a hair to grab on to, and they do. And I'm going to grab them.

They've got those talent sometimes. That comes right off, Kyle. That means that. Oh, scratch me up. Scratch me up all you want. That is really going to motivate me to punch you until you stop moving. No, I just think I beat up all women. I just do.

Most of them for sure. Yeah. The untrained part is the thing. Yeah. I fought, not for all. When I first started rolling, I didn't really know what I was doing. And I was against this woman. Her name was Tara La Rosa.

She later got like, I think, third at ADCCC or Abu Dhabi or something. So she was world class. And what's that? Pretzel you. So when things were controlled, my size and strength would protecting me. But every time I would like tip over in my mind, I'm like, oh, this is chaos. And her mind, it was opportunity. And like every time there was any kind of transition, I would end it at her mercy.

And it's like, what if? How did you even like see that? How did you see that opportunity while I was like, falling to my side to grab an arm or grab the neckers. Take advantage of your inertia and your own weight and movements to let me see it in and grabs. When I was in her guard, I had my elbows in tight and I was so much stronger than her. She couldn't make anything happen.

But then she'd do a sweep or something. And during that, scramble, she always came out on top because she was skilled. But then you had striking in. Like you pop her a few times in there and you would win that fight. I said that to my, she was a professional MMA fighter as well. And I said that to my instructor. I was like, I wasn't being macho or I was like, what happens if you had striking? Because I got longer arms and this and that.

And they're like, she hits like a ton of bricks. Don't add striking, Woody. And I don't know if they were just backing the like long time sort of senior member of the gym or if that's the case. But apparently striking wouldn't have worked out for me either. I would, I would think you got that. Striking would have helped you. Yeah. Especially if you throw it in by surprise.

Oh yeah, now we're talking By the way, this is him and A hair pulling I didn't have any hair I had this shit going on Yeah, I think the long hair thing Is a huge disadvantage in a real fight too Yeah Yeah

Pocket full of sand Ooh good thinking, good thinking No pockets but make it work I don't know you can hide it somewhere I've talked about it before But like I think there was a Portuguese fencing champion He fought like real duels

and he wrote a manuscript on the art of fencing and self-defense with the sword and his technique, he has a pouch of sand on his hip and he is continuously flicking sand into the eyes of the opponent. Anytime they're in range

sand-eye, sand in the eye, sand-in-eye. And in the middle of a sword fight, which he's apparently a master at. Wow. How can you be a master at throwing sand in people's eyes? No, he's a sword master. And I'm sure, he got good at throwing the sand though life of death

sand tossing. He's in his basement like take it to the limit walk along and marries like hammering tires and going to sand do you time lapse in the sand is piling up on the floor

I have the tiger plane all right boys okay PKN 6, 7 deep.