Painkiller Already - PKN #62

Episode Date: October 29, 2015

This week on PKN... Joke Thievery! 

is now we should be live um i pressed the button in like 15 seconds goes before it starts i'm like did it work did it not work but anyway welcome to pkn episode 62 kyle and i were just talking and i was like you know i want to lock this in i want to talk about it you were talking about stealing jokes yeah we saw that thing where i saw a thing where basically amy schumer had stole some patrice o'neill jokes and it was like obvious that she stole them. And I was saying, I don't know how people think they can get away with stealing jokes. I referenced that South Park joke

in the last episode, and people got mad about it. It's like, do you really think I thought I was getting away with stealing a joke when they air Wednesday night and then we record Thursday night? I thought we were,

we'd been talking about South Park just before the show. It's weird because I'll steal a joke sometimes. I haven't done it lately because they gave me so much shit about it. Or maybe I'll give a tip that's not necessarily just mine. I remember one in particular. I was like, check this out

guys. This is how I eat an Oreo cookie. I put a fork through the thing, dip it in the milk it's awesome right and i i guess i didn't properly credit that i saw it on like life hacks or something on some website and because that website invented putting a fork in an oreo i don't know you know i i didn't credit anyone yeah with their like ore or a thing. And they're like, Oh, Woody's a stealer. He steals, he steals. But to me, I'm just a regular person, right? Like you out there listening to this, not you, Kyle, but you out there listening to this,

you probably told like the Chris rock joke before some bill Burr or, um, Louis CK joke that that's come along. And I guess it is joke stealing, but I never really thought of myself as at a level like carlos mencia would be where you're not allowed to steal jokes anymore i don't even see it as that i feel like when i say those when i reference a joke or something it's it's it's less about telling the joke in its original spirit and more about like nudging you guys and be like hey we all let's watch the same stuff right remember the time when I was we're talking about conversion rates and I was like it's the same as Stan Stanley

Nichols to shrewd box and and you know it's just an office reference I think that's funny that's what I think sometimes it's that right like sometimes yeah you just make a reference to something and everybody's you know knows that winter is coming or whatever yeah and other times like i don't know like i'll tell a joke that i heard a long time ago or heard somewhere and they're like what do you got that from here and they're usually right usually i did get it from there every once in a while i'm innocent it's parallel thinking but but they're usually right usually i heard it there and and forgot the source and such. And I just, I just never thought of myself as achieving some sort of level where I'm not allowed to tell jokes I heard before.

So do you have a, a bad joke to tell or, or do you have to write your own now? Is that how that works? Oh, good Lord. I hope I don't have to write my own. I am.

Okay. This is the best one I have saved up I haven't done these for a while an abstinent blonde and her boyfriend are about to celebrate their one year anniversary she wants to do something special for him that night and decides that she wants to go down on him but alas has no experience she asks her friend for

advice who then hands her a banana and says here practice with this sure enough the blonde girl hands her a banana and says, here, practice with this. Sure enough, the blonde girl peels the banana and goes to town on it like a deep throat pro. See? You're doing great. Don't change a thing. So the next day, the blonde's girlfriend calls her up, eager to hear how everything went. How'd it go? Pretty great.

Didn't know there'd be that much screaming and blood though. Blood? Where'd the blood come from? The peeling. Yeah. You have a hard time i just i don't know how you get to the peeling like like like i feel like as as the peeling started we'd have to put the kibosh on the whole thing right like the second she's in the pee hole whoa whoa there's a serious lack of communication in your sex in your sex it's yeah right oh god do you ever donkey punch was a commonly referenced thing for a while apparently a donkey punch is you're

hitting it doggy style you punch her in the back of the head and she starts bucking or something i don't know i don't i don't know about that doesn't sound like good sex to me i i i don't think that that's a thing that i think that's more of a joke than a than an actual sex act that anyone would recommend because i mean if you're punching the other person in the head as part of a sex act that's probably not gonna be the next time around she's gonna be like who punches me in the back of the head again that was hot like this is not gonna happen there will be no second time if if the first time you fuck her you decide to give her a concussion um i think i think that's like what we're talking about before like like you know coming in her nose so she breathes like calling the darth vader um like all that stuff i don't think those are things you're actually meant to do i think they're just

funny right like i mean some of it of course like the rusty trombone as funny as it is like you're eating the guy's ass uh from behind and like jerking his dick off like a like a trombone as funny as that one is i think that's one that i'm sure happens like i'm sure that happens a lot like that sounds like some some fun stuff right but i don't think anyone is like yeah get fill my nostrils. Come on, fill them. Fill them! Like, nobody's doing that. Nobody wants a Darth Vader. In my experience, they don't even like it in their hair. No, no.

And they certainly don't want you to, like, the other one, you know, coming on their face and then throwing pubes at it and giving them the Abraham Lincoln. Like, no one wants that. No, I don't think you'll find many people into that. I think most of those are, and what's the other – the Cleveland Steamer? Is that the one where – You poop on her chest? No, you're thinking of Dirty Sanchez.

Yeah, the Dirty Sanchez is the mustache. The Cleveland Steamer is when you just shit on her chest, I think. Yeah. And why is that Cleveland? I don't know. I got another thing. I saw Justin Bieber naked. I saw it.

And I don't know the whole thing like i'm not sure how to react to it right so justin bieber is trying to be less of an arrogant douchebag in his sort of comeback and you hate to say he ever like went away but he kind of did he kind of was like you know what this fame thing is killing me taking a year or taking nine months or whatever it is he took and now he's getting back on he's on all these morning talk shows and stuff and he's doing his best to be a little more sociable a little more likable you know like like hillary clinton is you know like if you pop on saturday night live and you don't be an asshole for a while and people like oh look she's not an asshole 100 of of the time. So anyway, he was in some sort of vacation home.

He was at a place where he had an expectation of privacy, and he walked around naked, and they took his picture because he's Justin Bieber. And now I've seen Justin Bieber's dong. He was like, I saw him talking about it on a radio show, and he was like almost too cool about it he's like you know like i think like as if it's just my opinion i'm not sure i'm open to your ideas but i think maybe that was a little bit of an invasion of privacy and it's like yeah justin i think you're safe on

that one and and like i see these things happen and there's a lot of people who will be like well just don't walk around naked outside like i don't walk around naked outside i i pretty much you're missing out do you like literally are you outside naked very much he was on like his back porch or something uh i walk around in my boxers sometimes because i kind of have an expectation of privacy i've got this big plot of land and yeah i i i've definitely peed in the backyard before just um i've definitely uh yeah if the hot tubs if i'm going to the hot tub i might be naked in the yard but i'm not just walking around out there naked and you know looking at the stars or anything like that or you know cutting the grass or anything like that or cutting the grass or anything like that naked.

It looked like he was in a vacation beach house and he was running out a back door or something. He was mid-stride in the picture I saw, coming out of one of those sliding glass doors. Maybe that's what it was. I pictured him just

dong out with full pride like, yeah know like yeah i'm fucking justin bieber i walk around naked whenever i want to and like that was the whole thought process and i thought you know it's a little weird on both sides it sucks to have people trying to take pictures of you like like what happened to him but if they were doing that to me there'd just be some you know woody took the trash out in his boxer shots like that's all you'd get yeah it's i think it's a lot tougher if you're a female celebrity because i i saw that you see those pictures of rihanna like sitting in the water and the people like taking pictures of her like like it was a zoo

exhibit no rihanna's at the beach she's in the water kind of floating uh like her head's above the water and kind of the tops of her shoulders and she's kind of like looking out into the ocean and there's literally half a dozen people maybe more just like chubby white people with their phones like this just standing there like 15 feet away in the sand just watching her in the water and then of course like i mean i i like i'm on the internet and not a lot so as soon as like maria manunez or whatever name manuno whatever the fuck her name is like as soon as her vagina slips out of her her bathing suit like there's an image of it right there on the internet so i think it's harder being a female because if you slip it all

uh it's gonna be broadcast everywhere it's gonna be this is kate hudson's nipple this is lindsey lohan's asshole this is britney spears pussy um and the outfits they wear like especially if you have any kind of sex appeal make it more inclined to happen right like there's been no m&m slips because he seems to wear jeans and a white t-shirt an awful lot you know i i won't give them that because i feel like if if i were let's say i was um who um what's what's fucking hannah montana miley cyrus if i'm miley cyrus but before her career took the the crazy sexy turn and i want to stay wholesome it's really easy not to ever expose a piece of my first First of all, wear panties. And it... Emma Watson.

This woman behaves with class seemingly 100% of the time. And... I disagree. You can't wear sheer panties to an event that's going to have flash photography. I would know that going in. If I'm going to wear one of those dresses that is literally taped at the side so that my breasts aren't exposed, why don't you wear those, they make little things that go over your nipples.

I can't think of what they're called right now, but they make a tiny little silicone thing that glues right to your nipple and makes sure that no one will ever see it. They make panties that, and there's no reason not to wear panties that will cover your whole pussy, okay? Like, my dick's not coming out of these under any circumstances. It's contained. If for some reason you don't want a panty line, there are dozens of panty options that will not create a panty line

or interfere with your sheer dress or gown or whatever you want to wear. But if you don't want to show your vagina or your pubic hair or your nipples, it can be achieved with virtually any dress she did slip up there's no so people know we're referencing she was getting out of a she was wearing like a tight black dress my wife calls him a skinner she was underage in that photograph i've never seen it i've heard about it so and and as she was getting out of the limo i didn't know she was underage in that that she was getting out of the limo and i didn't know she was underage in that that she's getting out of the limo yeah she did one leg than the other and for the briefest of

brief moments you could you could see down her upper dress and in the one i saw she's sitting in the she's she's like doors closed she's in there but they're at such an angle that they can see up her her skirt and uh and you can see you can you kind of see through her panties you might be right i might be remembering it wrong i thought it was as she entered and exited it the britney spears one is like that but she's not wearing panties at all well she's guilty you know to me though like i don't think it's that uncommon for women to wear like what on a guy would be mega sexy underwear just like lacy see-throughy whatever like that strikes me as a couple days a week where like that just happens

and um uh anyway i just feel like with women it's a it's a little more perilous than with guys in terms of all the nip slip craziness and um you know getting in and out of limo trick and stuff like that yeah it i just feel like i would wear something that you couldn't see up i i i'm sure there's a skirt you gotta go full-on taylor swift you know like never even showing a belly button to not have that kind of risk i mean like like cheerleaders wear those panties what do they call them bloomers or something like that those panties that cheerleaders wear are i mean that's what they're made for they're made to to you know it's free to be able to get that like it so i get the bloomers are a little thicker so you can't see the camel

toe like that much i understand but it still feels like you're seeing a girl in her underwear to me um the bathing suit under like i was talking to my daughter about it and i was like this bathing suit underwear thing it all looks pretty much the same to me it doesn't make much sense except in one instance you're supposed to freak out and in the other you're not yeah my daughter's like if it means anything to you i'm a girl and it doesn't make much sense to me either you know your bathing suits um bloomers all pretty much underwear in my mind in terms of like what's being exposed there i suppose so camel toe i guess, I guess. Yeah, yeah. That's the best part about the bathing suits. The camel toe. Yeah.

When I was a teenager, so this was what happened. I'm, I think, 14 or 15. And I'm working at this, like, retail store or something like that. And one of my coworkers was, like, 17 or 18, but he was a super old-looking 18. He had a full-on beard. I think he was Italian. He was hairy. He could have passed for 25.

His sister comes in, and she's this beautiful blonde. She's my age, like within a year. I think we were both like 14 or 15. And I was like, wow, your sister's beautiful. And he's like, huh? What? My sister? In his head, his sister was six.

You know, in his head. And he's like, what? Like, you were looking at her? Where were you looking at her? And that brought this question to my head like where am i supposed to be looking at her in my head it was boobs at the time like that was all you look at but i have since grown to look at pretty much everywhere um i i guess i was just appreciating her whole package. Like she was shapely and she was in shape. She was whatever,

you know, she was as pretty as anyone in Hollywood, but my age is a, you know, early teen. So, um, but when he asked me,

where were you looking at her for like the next two or three years? It was like, huh? Like where am I? Where do you look at girls? Everywhere. Everywhere. Yeah. So. years it was like huh like where am i where do you look at girls everywhere everywhere yeah so but he was yeah i don't know like i i don't i don't think i answered his question probably probably good i her beautiful eyes man look at her eyes oh wow yeah she was in a bikini just get lost in them what do you say her ass her boobs

her eyes is the right answer right there yeah yeah come to think of it dave you've got the same eyes god damn your eyes dave yeah oh i see the resemblance just stare just stare at me for a minute just yeah that led the conversation yeah all right man let's not talk about this anymore uh let's just move along i have had truck fever for over a year now i remember wings would get truck fever and it would seem like he would go when he caught it there was no stopping the purchase. It was going to happen. And he bought a couple cars and stuff in succession. Yeah. I personally probably made the biggest deal out of it,

and I want to stop. It's done is done. Quit fussing at the man. But, God, it doesn't help that we just sold that Apex house. Like, there's a lot of money in the bank right now. I could buy five dream trucks. That would be stupid. But I don't know.

I saw a Z71 four-door today. It was like kind of a white pearl color, and it had a bed cover on it that was the same color, and it was gorgeous it looked so nice um i really liked the way it looked it looked like a brand new one i don't know i've been all over them i don't know if i've told you about this before we have a friend of the family like i really like roger that's the dad's name jackie really likes deb that's the mom's name they have a son who hope dated for some period of time a couple

years ago, but you know, they still get along well and they have a older son too. Anyway, it's like the whole family are friends. Like it's a nice setup. And Roger commutes to work in a Ford Focus or something, but upgrade that to a Mustang in your head and uh he also has a diesel like three quarter ton f-250 that he keeps in his garage most of the time it was his daily driver for a bit and when he realized like it's kind of expensive for a daily driver like he's wearing out the truck and he's fueling it with diesel and it's getting 13 miles of the gallon or something. But I like his situation. I would love to have a diesel ready to do work whenever I wanted it to.

And maybe some sort of other car that was fun. A Lotus Esprit is $30,000. That's like a cheap supercar. You should go take one for a test drive. A three quarter ton truck? No, the Lotus. Okay. supercar you should go take one for a test drive a three-quarter ton truck no the lotus okay the lotus is that would be a fun video you should go test drive maybe test drive both

and make a day of it uh that lotus is small it's it's uh it's it's small on the inside um i feel but but people have said that about cars before like like the porsche box are small but i fit in there pretty nicely and the the viper small that all those sports cars are small but the lotus is is a little extra small usually when people say it's small they mean it's hard to get in and out of yeah and in my head provided that your athletic seems like too big a term, right? But like I'm still of a fitness level where I'm climbing that freaking stable every day. Just today I took an eight by four foot sheet of plywood, threw it on my back, climbed up a ladder and nailed it in place, right?

I can get out of a car, you know? Yeah. Getting in and out of a car, like I'm fully capable of that. I've never been in one of those before. So I just remember we used to live next to the dealership, and I'd drive by and look at them every day. And I would want to know if you're in the car like this, and you turn around and look out the back,

if that's comfortable and all that. Yeah, sometimes those supercars have huge blind spots like mega big because the the what is the rear corner panel the rear pillar called is there is it the d pillar i don't know but uh anyway i i think they just go by how many there are and it would be like the d pillar those things are like two feet wide which you know when you take your you know blind spot and go out, it's gigantic. But I think that would be a neat idea, and it would be a neat, like, just test drive both of them and see what's up.

I took my transmission out of the truck the other day after a fight with the transmission. Got it out. I think it weighs about 220 pounds i guess i've done that before but it was um it sounds like my training was much smaller than yours and i could take the transfer case off first but i i just put like a hydraulic jack on it sort of like a tiny bit like a quarter inch so i knew it was holding it and then lowered is that what you did too yep how'd that go it took about two hours something like that i got it

dropped off with a mechanic he's rebuilding the transmission and uh putting a new transfer case on so that should be done in about a week i think as long as nothing goes wrong he seemed pretty confident in what he was doing how come you pulled the tranny for him? Did it save that much money? I got the floor lift and everything. Oh, you do? Yeah. My dad's place.

That's what I aspire to have. You probably didn't see my videos. I did like two in the last day. Whatever. But we got all the stuff off the trailer from my Apex house. I don't know if that was related to the floor lift for whatever but i we got all the stuff off the trailer from my apex house i don't know that was not related to the floor lift for me when we build that building all that stuff will go in um yeah i've cut my my run rate a little bit so it was 110 a month to store that stuff that's not money i ever actually spent but it's money i avoided and the apex house i didn't realize it was costing me so

much but it cost about 500 bucks a month to own um it was a hundred something for the lawn care service which we just kept going while we were gone and um then when you add the that seems like a lot because your yard was so small mine's 80 and they come with like three mowers it's three guys come and each of them is on a piece of equipment the whole time for for 80 uh a week that's about what 80 a week do you mean 80 yeah um no i mean 80 every time they come i think yeah so you're paying more but you got more yard this is like 130 a month so oh they come every week about that yeah okay yeah that's a lot different though and um um they they did a bad job actually i was gonna say they did a fine job

but they didn't they did really shitty as a matter of fact there's a big dead spot in the backyard that never regrew because they they came and they sprayed roundup in the backyard and someone was like no no no wrong house wrong house and if you don't know you do but for those who don't know roundup kills anything usually you'd put roundup uh over the land and then like turn it up let the roundup dissipate and die you know stop being roundup like over a week and then plant grass there because you've got nice fresh everything dead and uh i guess someone was having that done, but they came to our house, killed the grass, said whoopsie, and just left a big dead spot in the back.

It looked like shit. That sucks. The front looked like – it really looked bad, but it wasn't tall. So I didn't care and just kept the homeowners association off me, and that was that. Well, that's good. I'm glad you got that thing sold. So it was the lawn care, me and that was that well that's good i'm glad you got that thing sold so what so it was the lawn care and what else was making up that 500

the lawn care the homeowners insurance the real estate taxes and then the electric and the uh gas and the um trash and all that stuff so um that's it's all done now would have been it'd been pretty funny if some pka fan had taken it upon himself to go over there and start squatting that'd be great i was thinking about like what would i do if i found a squatter gotta roust them right like if you see a guy in your house i think that's you know i i definitely have a gun and we see where it goes from there you think i'd take him prisoner ask a few questions uh alert the authorities maybe shoot him with a beanbag round or something i gotta not be a successful squatter there would be no like oh my hands are tied

no no i i wouldn't put up with that either. I feel like I'd be like, you know what? I'll be right back. I'm going to go get Jeremy and Scott. They're going to come over here while I'm not here. And I bet when I come back in an hour, you won't be here. Yeah, there's not going to be any successful squatting. I don't like that.

Whenever I see they're talking about squatters rights or whatever, and it's like, no, you can't invade this fucking house. I loved it when that reporter was like, all right, I'm moving in too. He's got his bathrobe and everything. She's like, you can't. The balls on her to like come be, I hate to say it, but to be uppity about him wanting to move in with her when she's the squatter. He's like, no, no, the owner's cool with me being here.

It's only you he doesn't want being here. I got this piece. And it was great. I like that. So Joe Rogan did this thing, and maybe I heard it before him too, but it's about being the hero of your own life story. My wife has a plaque on the wall about it, so he didn't come up with it. But anyway, everyone should be the good guy. And most people are.

And I often look at the bad guy and think, how in their head is it possible that they're the good guy, right? Like if you're a gang member, you're protecting this turf from other people, this is our territory, et cetera. All the people that live here on my probably not i know you've said many times like no there it's all about money and who gets to sell drugs in that corner and stuff but i think in their head they feel like they were born here they're entitled to it it's always been theirs etc and and i don't know they're that's just their community

and they're defending it i uh i asked myself asked myself how the Nazis thought they were good guys when they killed so many Jews. But I read that the reason that Jews were disliked was because they were very wealthy. And even though they were a small part of the population, they had an oversized exposure. Lots of people knew about them because they were so wealthy and successful. And that made them an easy target to hate. And, I mean, hell, Bernie Sanders next to Adolf Hitler. There it is. Yeah.

And Hitler blamed, you know, the failures of World War I on the Jews. He made them his scapegoat. And, you know, one of the things about the Jews has always been that they would lend money when the Gentiles wouldn't. Back in time when the only money lenders were the Jews, and they would lend money within their own group, they would charge interest to the Gentiles, and so they're only absorbing wealth, never putting it back into the system. So they keep charging interest to Gentiles, and they only spend the money within the Jewish community. So they're just absorbing wealth into their own little part of the population. I don't mean to be racist about it or whatever.

My brother-in-law lives in Jackson, New Jersey or something, and he sees that exact same thing playing out right now. They go in. They get voted in the politics because they vote for each other they declare all their houses to be um synagogues so they're not paying any taxes and like they let them run down like they're it's not all jews of course but these jews are doing that and um the i don't know some of the tactics that they're doing are the ones that made them... Got them in trouble in the first place. I saw a chart today that claimed that taxing religion in this country

would create $71 billion in revenue. That is such a third rail politically, though. I feel like if Bernie Sanders includes that with his other ideas, he can round up that $18 trillion, make it feasible. So you need to tax the religion, cut all the military, and what was the other one? Tax the religion, cut the military. Was $6 trillion of it because...

Let's see, he was going to sell Florida to Germany. That's not true. Was there $6 trillion worth of because... Let's see. He was going to sell Florida to Germany. That's not true. Was it because it was... Was there $6 trillion worth of saving money on health care? There was $5 or $6 trillion worth of savings there. But there was another number, I thought. I read something else. Like, that $18 trillion number has been debunked.

Because $15 trillion of it, apparently, is what we currently pay for health care i think that's 14 yeah i think i think the the outlook for obamacare of the next 10 years is 14 trillion in cost um it's but it's not really like oh so i heard 15 i don't know what the truth is but i do know that the number i heard was 15 you may have heard 14 um but that's like the size of the health care industry so what they're saying is oh if the government's going to pay that one it won't go down a penny two like right now i might pay directly into the health insurance industry if i pay the government which pays it that's not like from my perspective my expenses haven't changed at all. I just have a roundabout payment method now. So it's not fair to call that a straight-up tax increase.

I'm looking forward to see who wins the presidency. It's a real clusterfuck. Did you see the SNL skit with Larry David playing Bernie Sanders? Yes. I like that. I like the Hillary Clinton line. Something about the version of her that she and her aides have presented for you tonight. Yeah.

Or something like that. Yeah. It's so true. You guys are going to like the version of me. Yeah, yeah. The actress who's – so Larry David I thought did a good job. I always see him channeling – well, it's him. George Costanza is based off Larry David.

But he's a reverse engineer. I see George Costanza in his Bernie performance. But the lady who's doing the Hillary Clinton, the lady who was Hillary Clinton was excellent, I thought. She had the crazy eyes and the mannerisms and the accent was pretty good. She was awesome. If you're on the awesome and you can get that thing and that really helps with the jobs like if you're the guy that does obama and then obama wins the election you have to be like yes you know like it's so much job security in an

industry with none for a while they didn't have one i remember like when obama first i do it the guy from portlandia i think um i think fred armisen i think they had no it's not fred armisen it's the other one i can't help you i can't i can't remember in any case but yeah they had a white he looks a little ethnic like he's probably jewish they had a pretty sure they had a jewish guy playing him um but but yeah they didn't have a fucking black guy they can play him they had to get one there was a horror in the black community that they got a white guy to play it like he took a black guy's job and i see where they're coming from i guess but i i'm surprised that there's enough black people watching snl for there to be an uproar i i didn't oh did

you see um um eddie murphy's bill cosby uh impression he was accepting some award uh it was like the mark twain award or some bullshit and uh he gets on he gets on stage he's got the award he's like doesn't bill have one of these y'all gonna make him give it back he's like you know you done fucked up when they taking your awards back and then he starts he goes into his bill cosby impression it was pretty good it's like a minute he did like a minute of uh riffing on bill cosby there as he accepted the award but it was it was pretty funny i am i was on this reddit thread and they were like you know tell me one thing that you wish you didn't know and uh one of the big ones was that eddie murphy is a complete

douchebag and super difficult to work with and like he's just not a good guy in real life yeah i i hear that stuff about a lot of those guys and i and i wonder how much of it is is true and how much of it is like maybe jealousy i i saw a thing the other day so there's that guy he's kind of overweight he's got blonde spiked up hair he's on the food network and uh he got it's like dot he drives around in a red camaro picture okay so i i saw a thread where they were calling that guy as being a homophobe. Someone who had worked on his show was saying that whenever he was going to go to any restaurant, he had requested that if there's any gay people there, let me know.

I need to know before I get there if there's going to be any gay people there because those people freak me out. And then that quote goes kind of viral. And then somebody's like no no no no no as soon as gay marriage was legalized he officiated the marriage of like 240 couples simultaneously or something like that like this is a guy who really supports gay rights he's he's part of that community and it's just like just a jealous guy who's i i i have two examples of it one i mentioned the a while ago with um fisticuffs saying that i was like a complete jerk or something but then he didn't know what you look like he couldn't pick me out of a crowd

yeah yeah he was calling me bitch tits for a while and and at the time i was really thin and i'm like like really he started saying it was me and the machina thing and then um which i didn't go to so that's that's why you should have made fun of a physical physical characteristic of his that he does not possess oh yeah well you got that limp and that gimpy little hand dude what's up with that he's like and i rolled my hands nah i saw you bro you got four fingers on your left hand i saw it's all curled up and useless nah i saw your gimpy hand how do you play them games you like ask a capper over there. And I'm like, that wasn't me. Do you see where I'm coming from? Yeah. And,

uh, there was another one. It was at PAX. Someone said that I said something terrible about Colin. I forget what it was that I like referred to him as a retard or I, I don't remember what they said. I said about Colin, but there were like several people who confirmed it. Like, you know, I forget

who was shit. I forget the details. It might've been, um, uh, Mr. I try hard told me it was being said, but he didn't want to like out those people. And they're like, he's just like, I don't know what happened, but I trust the people who told me that like, they're not the sort that would just make shit up. And, uh, like, and I'm trying to figure out where in my head it's coming from like like I because I didn't and like what did they overhear from 12 feet away and twist into something else like I like or you know maybe they're just fucking with you I mean that time that we we like ran that campaign against junkyard like he hadn't done anything wrong we just thought it'd be you know maybe they're just fucking with you i mean that time that we we like ran that campaign against junkyard like he hadn't done anything wrong we just thought it'd be you know sometimes it's fun to just mess with somebody who doesn't deserve it because they'll never see it coming

and it's just funny from the outside there was another one out of that pax where apparently i i tried to force someone into a cab and threatened to ruin their youtube career that totally didn't happen not at all um what did you like taking them back to your room or something like i remember one time uh we were walking back it was like the first night i don't think you were there and um i was properly dressed i had like a windbreaker on or something and it was cold and not rainy but like drizzly miserable and someone offered to give me the cab spot and I declined it because that person had a t-shirt on in Boston in March and I was like no no you you should take it you know I and I walked all the way back to the hotel and gave them the spot in the rain because they didn't have good clothes and i'm like did that somehow get fucked up into

i forced someone to get in a cab like i don't know where some of this stuff comes from but uh yeah i think it was juicer i feel like i'm a good put in the cab anyway i feel like i'm an accurate source like like i feel like when i view when i'm when like I'm an accurate source. I feel like when I'm at a thing and I see what goes down that I have a good idea of what actually happened. And I've seen people get things distorted and twisted and just scratch my head about how they get

to where they got. It's mostly people who are just not minding their own fucking business and have like one tenth of the information and like saw you do something for five seconds and misinterpreted it overheard something about colin from 15 feet away and assume that i was like talking mad trash about my children get the fuck out of here um but yeah yeah anyway so we were talking about celebrities getting misinterpreted i can see how

it would happen because even at my own stupid z-list level, it's happened to me several times. I like – like I don't hold it against Christian Bale. Do you ever hear that whole excerpt of him freaking out on the guy on the set? Yep. Like to hear his side of it, that guy was fucking – he's like, I'm over here trying to fucking act. I'm in this scene emotionally, and you're walking around in the background over there with a light he's like what are you doing and it i could understand i was with him for like the first minute but then he just hammers this guy for another three minutes and at one point he says something like i will ruin you i will ruin you

you'll never work again it's just like all this harsh stuff and you can hear um one of the co-stars come in and be like yeah just calm down man just calm down like he can't he can't let it go and then of course bill o'reilly yeah i'll do it live do it live like i don't i i got i understand what stress is like and how you can freak out in a moment uh understand fucking bad grips like i was um i forget it was that dance on thing and moment. I didn't understand fucking bad grips. Like, I was... I forget. It was that dance-on thing. And, of course, I didn't go all Christian Bale on anyone. Externally.

Internally, I did. Which is to say, in my own head. I'm over here working! Like, we're filming shit. And we keep having to do retakes because they're assembling things in the background. Or when they're not assembling things, they like joking and smoking and whatever and it's like you fuckers you know like you're goofing off you're goofing off and we are making the product and fucking

stop sabotaging us like it's it's hard and you know it was it was competition. It was a lot of money. I cared. Of course, I never did or said anything. But in my head, I was brutal. Yeah. I don't think anybody likes that when they're trying to do a thing and somebody else is. I guess we've been filming at times and there'd be someone who'd mess it up or whatever and it doesn't bother me from my own standpoint.

It's not like, oh, you wasted my precious time. That's not how I feel. It's just like, you wasted all of our time and there's like 30 people's time being invested. So every second isn't, you can't count 30 seconds of wasted time as 30 seconds of wasted time. It's 30 seconds times 30

of wasted time. You're wasting like 900 seconds over here every time we fuck up, bro. seconds of wasted time it's 30 seconds times 30 of wasted time it's you're wasting like 900 seconds over here every time we fuck up bro here somebody dies yeah it's uh so i don't like that you know if there's a bunch of people working on a thing together i could definitely understand how you get get uh out of shape so i i i take most of what i read on the internet with a grain of salt unless there's like multiple you know bill cosby like the first couple women i was like bill come on they just want that huxtable money that's all this is they want that jello cash but you know by by girl 47 i was like bill's a rapist all right good to know i guess i don't know i i still feel like there's no proof. Just women coming out of, dude, we should come out.

Next PKA, we should say Cosby Raiders. I'm not old enough. I am, I think. Yeah, you could have been. I bet you were in New Jersey while he was in New York. Yeah, yeah, you could probably make something up. I don't know, I've heard some excerpts of some of the stories and stuff, and some of these girls were like 16 when it started,

and they talk about the quaaludes and stuff. And while I think part of his thing was like doing quaaludes and having sex, right? I think that was part of it. But it was definitely more than that in some cases. It was like, oh, you're not conscious anymore. And he's like knocking him out i feel like he was knocking him out and fucking him that that was his that seems like his mo he invites these women up to his hotel room i've got him he says you know i've got a part for

you i got a thing that maybe you could do and you know then he slipped something in their drink or or whatever and that seems like every girl is telling a very similar story. Although some, one girl was talking about, like, he takes me in the dressing room and like, he puts his back to the door so nobody can come in and like forcibly makes me blow him and like comes in my hair. And like, there's this whole thing. So Bill's in trouble. I saw, I don't recall the exact details, but I, but it's going badly for him. A judge made some sort of decision about how the civil case can proceed recently in a couple of the incidences. So he's like 78, I think. I was thinking he's like Walter Frey.

It doesn't matter what you do to him. He won. He lived a gloriously happy, rapey life. You're wrong about that. a gloriously no man rapey life you're wrong about that his legacy

his legacy and what he meant for the black community meant everything to him I guarantee if you'd said Bill here's a gun

go ahead hang on to that you got two choices you can end it all or there's gonna be this scandal next week he'd have ended it all

like I guarantee he would he would have chosen death over this kind of dishonor I I feel like his legacy is, I meant everything to him. He was always the kind of guy who was trying to be upright and, uh, set a good example for the black community. You know, he'd go after guys like Eddie Murphy and, and all those guys for, for, uh, not setting a good example, bad words, you know, sagging your pants, all that stuff.

And now he's exposed as what he is, and all of that is tarnished. I feel like he's been hurt badly. And I feel like they're going to put him in jail. 78 really good years. He's going to have one bad one. His life's better than almost everybody's. His life will, but i really do think his legacy meant meant a lot to him i think i think that he thought that he was going to be remembered

for for a long time and that was important to him okay let's say you take a regular person and be like all right get this you're going to live a lifetime of fame and fortune you're going to be so beloved that you can rape 47 women and pretty much get away with it. And not just rape them. These are wild, drug-filled, quaalude parties. A life up until 78 years old is a nonstop party of fucking and fun and drugs and cash. And just, you're're gonna rock it and your wife will stand by you the whole way while you cheat on her with everything that moves and then when you're 78 it gets rough

you want that or would you like to be like a regular guy an accountant now i do want that but i i just feel like like this is a guy who thought that he was writing the final chapter of a glorious book that he had lived a life that were he just he had so much respect so much esteem in his community like like he's you know old black guy number one uh just super america's probably one of the most trusted spokes uh people out there at one time you know he's over there talking about coca-cola or jello or whatever it may be and to just the way they're dragging his name through the mud right now i feel like it's painful for him and it's bad and i don't think he likes it a bit and i think they're going to drag him into civil court and there's going to be gory details they're going to be talking about ejaculate in earlobes

and like fucking like rim jobs and and quaaludes and and like how she woke up with like a few of my favorite yeah yeah she's gonna be like hey put a puddin pop in my asshole and you know just something awful like he made he made me call him you know mr Huxtable and he had his stethoscope on. It's going to be bad. Get this. So Brendan Schwab, he's a retired UFC fighter. He's on a podcast called The Fighter and the Kid. You may have heard of it. It's real successful.

And he goes by Big Brown. Anyway, he was talking about, I think it was after Joe Rogan told him he should retire. Do you know this guy yet oh yeah i know all about this guy you've you told me so um afterwards i guess he had a little um introspection gave it some thought and he was like man you know like you're traveling down and then there's a fork in the road and on one side is like fame and fortune and a roller coaster of a life that ends at 50.

And on the other side is a regular life, you know, where you're an accountant or a computer programmer and it goes to 100. He's like, man, that's not me. I'll take the 50 every time. And I heard that and I thought about it because that's exactly what young Woody would have said. Like, oh, yeah, absolutely. Put me in the octagon. I want to be part of the show. I want to live a rocking life.

I want to have the fun. And dying at 50? Not a problem. I'm 42 now. 50 still sounds old to me. But I recognize that there will be a time, like... Like, I'm not ready to die. Yeah, I don't think you have to choose option A or B. I feel like you can ride right down the middle and have all the fun you want

and still have a normal life expectancy. In this case, he was pursuing a career that caused brain damage. Well, yeah, that's because he's an idiot. I mean, that doesn't count. That doesn't count. I don't know if there's that many career choices that are going to give you brain damage that's that guaranteed. It's like, oh, yeah, I'm either going to be a UFC fighter

or I'm going to do heavy drugs for the next 45 years. I haven't decided which. The results are going to be about the same, I think. Like, you could end up like Ozzy Osbourne, or you could end up like Muhammad Ali. Joe Lazon told me, he's like, yeah, I figure... I'll try to do my Joe. Yeah, I figure I'll lose about 5% of my brain,

but, you know, still puts me above average. Yeah, I'm pretty smart to begin with. And I don't know if he's right or not or where he is on that. He's pretty smart. But I don't know. There's nobody else in my life that's volunteered to give up 5% of their intelligence. Hmm. You know, I would probably give up five percent for for for you know uh

for joe yeah i could see that for for doing what joe's done and and getting to do all that cool shit five percent seems and yet it really depends like how do you quantify five percent like am i just five percent am i five percent slower like am i gonna is it gonna take me five percent longer to do that math problem or at some point am i gonna not understand five percent of the math problems that i used to understand you know what i mean like like how do you quantify that the if it was one in every 20 times i forgot my car key i can't find my car keys oh if it's forgetfulness who cares uh You might. I mean, you could get a little book or something.

Work around that, yeah. Work around that, yeah. What scares me the most, and I haven't seen any evidence of this in Joe, is sometimes people get aggressive tendencies. Shucks, I was just watching a 30 for 30 thing. I think the guy's last name was Natty, and he was an enforcer for the Montreal Canadiens. And have you seen this one by chance?

Were there interviews with his father? Yep. He was a real bruiser, like on and off the ice? I'm not sure. Yeah, yeah, the guy, the enforcer was a bruiser. His father was yeah brown-faced i think he was a green beret or something oh yeah did he have a problem with pills uh yeah pain pills this is now we're back to the enforcer but right natty had a problem with pain

pills yeah yeah yeah i've seen that that's good um it is all the 30 30s always impress me even when i don't give a shit i'm like well it's 30 for 30 let's see you know yeah about some basketball coach who doesn't play defense yeah i watched one about uh this texas football team called like meth something mid something methodist or something like that it was a religious school and it was uh i guess they were they were cheating so much that they were just they just took they didn't let them play football for a few years yeah yeah that's that's what it was i was gonna say they were the first school they're the first school i know about that got the death penalty like they pulled all their scholarships and stuff

yep yep no football for like two years or something like that just killed them and all their players left of course at that point so like and it was a dynasty they had one same you can't really have a dynasty in college football but they were they were they were one of the top tier teams every year and they had been for a while because they were cheating so much they had college kids on the payroll whether it was a new car or 500 bucks a week or whatever it may be like they were just they had a professional college football team but uh anyway this guy natty afterwards he was real aggressive and and like what served him really he didn't take any shit he took no shit from anybody and like on the surface that seems admirable right like yeah that guy takes no shit etc but it makes you not fit in the world yeah like when your boss says

like all right you're gonna play tonight you know and you're a hockey player and you're like fuck you i'm insulted by the fact that you didn't play me up until now so now that you like you uh the people in front of him like the line got hurt so he's's like, all right, we need you. Fuck you. Because those guys shouldn't have been in front of me. And it makes him not fit in in the world. Like on the ice, it's kind of cool that he would not just fight on the ice. He would want to like meet you in the parking lot. Like he was fucking like crazy.

And the typical enforcer in the nhl right uh they're kind of reluctant enforcers you think they're all go for it go for it go for it but in reality they get nervous before the game because they know they're going to be in a fight that night not unlike a regular person and they're all like their their hand is hurt and they sure would like to not fight right now but there's an honor code and all that stuff and um that's anyway this guy was different he didn't seem to give a fuck about starting a fight ever he was always in for it and not he was a good fighter too he was a good fighter too and he wasn't excited about it he was just psycho about like he didn't care he didn't care about the

consequences about anything he was always about like standing up not taking any shit at all and on the ice that kind of worked for him he had like a 12 year or 14 year career but outside of that like he couldn't hold a job he couldn't like nothing worked for him and he was a terrible speaker not mumbly mouth or anything but he was just a man of so few words that you couldn't hold a conversation with him it seemed that that was my observation yeah i like those 30 for 30s they're always good like you said amazing yeah i i um i don't know i don't make videos anything like theirs but um somehow i feel like the people that do this and their storytelling put me in my place because they're just great uh i i yeah but um i forget how i got

on this topic we're talking about oh it seemed like he got a little aggressive he got like oh yeah fit in the world that brain damage you see it in football players a lot that they hit their wives and stuff and you know some of it's just the pressure of being in the position they're in and all the eyes looking at them and stuff. And when there's a ton of pressure and you get these accolades, like you're some superhuman who can't do wrong, maybe they try and get away with shit they otherwise wouldn't have. But also the brain damage.

A lot of these guys that try to kill themselves or do kill themselves, when they look at their brains afterwards, they're like, ah, right here. That's why he's suicidal. This part of the brain got fucked up. That sometimes happens a long time afterwards. There's no evidence that that happened to Joe, but it's a thing that I fear.

I think pro football is in trouble in the next, say, ten years. I think something's going to happen. It's getting more and more traction this whole uh concussion thing and the long-term uh aspects of it and and we're getting more information about how frequent the concussions actually are I think we're uh 50 I think they said they were like five are they five or six weeks into the season something like that and 56 concussions so far, and those are the reported ones. So, you know, you're getting 10 concussions a week every week out there

that are reported, and it's not good. You see that with all those guys. Long-term effects of these things where they just aren't there by the time they retire. They've beaten their bodies apart, and their minds are gone, too. I think something's gonna happen. One thing that might help with this i could be totally off on this and i'm and i'm like freshly sensitive but on these reddit threads that rip us about our sports knowledge oh wait

those guys are idiots we know more about sports than they do fuck them basketball should be 4v4 there's that's been brought up many times i'm not the first person to say that they should go to 4v4 nah bring them up to 12 feet it should be fucking hard as hell to dunk it should be rare there shouldn't be constant dunking and there should be a 4 point

line I said move the 3 point line back leave it alone add a 4 point line a few feet back I saw someone propose that recently I don't know how i feel about that because i don't know adding a four point play without a foul um like it really closes some leads you know when you're eight points ahead and your lead's not safe i just need to think that through because that's a major change um the 12 it's even for both sides it is that is true um the 12 foot net i'm just totally not down with that i don't like yeah 12 i like the acrobatic 10 foot thing we got it'll still be acrobatic there are guys there

are plenty of guys out there who can dunk a 12 foot goal uh i think you'll see a lot of lay-ins and finger rolls and stuff just because i don't care oh and the ball size i don't like that either they use the same fucking these behemoth gigantic people are using the same size ball as they recommend for a 15 year old white kid like like the ball size doesn't change when you go from 15 year old white kid um i think it's 12 maybe maybe that's what they recommend for 12 year old white kids i was looking at the ball size it's like 17 and a half inches or something no that ball should be much bigger they shouldn't be able to manipulate it like they're holding a baseball there it's it's bullshit that all i'm saying with the basketball thing is it was a game designed for maybe some six-foot-tall white guys, and now we have seven-foot-tall black guys playing it,

and maybe we need to look at that. I just feel like you've got much more person playing the game than you used to, and maybe the game needs to be adjusted accordingly. Maybe an 11-foot goal, you know? But 10's too low. I was just saying something. Was it hockey?

Oh, football. So I'm not an expert in football, but I do know a lot about hockey, even if not current rosters. And one interesting thing about hockey that keeps it sort of in check is the way the players regulate each other. You can't wear a face mask in hockey

because players want to punch each other you know you can't wear a face mask in hockey because players want to punch each other um you uh like a lot of advancements or changes that might have happened in other sports are brought back down to reality like people don't take a run at stars very often because you know if you hit gretzky mcsorley's coming for you and um that doesn't happen in football I feel or at least not not not as much like there is a guarantee you hit Gretzky you're fucked you know this is McSorley's life he's like what he does he's been retired for a long time but everyone still knows, don't touch Krinsky. He'll come get you right now. You don't know. Like, McSorley could be here. You're fucked. It's a big problem for you.

And in football, it seems like if you just run at a guy, like you get a 25-yard run, you put your helmet down, you blast him, and it's like, good hit whereas in hockey if you hit too hard like that someone's gonna fight you over it and it sucks and play like even at the nhl level they're not fearless they're like i'm totally gonna get my nose broken for doing this it's i wonder if football had fewer pads and more fights if they would keep things more in check so you think the answer is more violence yeah and everyone's gonna rip on us for saying it but i'm just saying this is tested in hockey um hockey helmets

they've become a little more concussion proof. Like I don't understand the physics of it, but the chin pad is much better. And apparently that helps a ton. And, um, it's a little thicker up top. So they're a little more concussion proof, but they're not weapons.

Whereas football helmets have become like weaponized. Like if I can brace for impact and hit it in the right spot in my forehead or something like that, I can hit you so hard that you'll hate it and i'll be fine because this was held it is my best club and people use well i mean your brain's on board for that right it's got to go from full speed to instant stop it's it's hurting everybody that's the real that's the problem is the guy who delivers the hit is hurt and the guy who receives the hit is hurt i can hit you if i can hit your chin with my forehead that's oh god yeah yeah yeah that's an accident yeah yeah absolutely that's t-boning

you could if you t-bone them then you then you win the race for sure uh i i just i don't know what what's going to be done with the uh with professional football but something's gonna have to happen i i see more and more like people are turning on the sport another thing you could do more steroid testing now i don't know if these guys are on roids or not but they look like they are yeah they look like yeah i bet humans it ufc has cracked down on steroids to such a level that you're seeing like all the guys you sort of thought were on steroids their bodies change a lot you know jimmy hendricks johnny h Hendrix, I'm sorry,

who like GSP wanted testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, and he wouldn't submit to it. Now he can't make weight anymore. You know, that's steroids or there are drugs. I don't know about steroids in particular, but there are drugs that really help you cut weight. Guy can't make weight anymore. Vidor Belfort, I can't think of names right now he looks like dude vitor belfort was like 35 36 when he became the man suddenly he's like the

toughest guy around they call him um trt fort or something like that, or TRT Vell Fort. But that version of him, the drugged version of him, like when you're in your late 30s and you have a career resurgence, like no, that's not how that goes. And he did. Yeah, not in that sport. Now they started drug testing and he fought Chris Weidman and everyone's like, whoa.

Like suddenly it's like his whole body melted a little bit. His skin was looser. His muscles were smaller. He was a different guy, and he got the shit kicked out of him. I'd be willing to bet that the guys playing football out there, professional sports are so high pressure. It's so high pressure. If you're out there uh in

the nfl and you're you're the cornerback and you know there's five more guys waiting behind you who are just want it just as bad as you are you're all probably doing the same drugs you know and you you know you know you blow this play and they score and you're done you might be done forever they might just fucking cut your ass and then and you know you like it so in basketball i look at what happens with the bodies now i'll temper this by saying a lot of guys get like especially if they're pro athletes from 22 to 28 you know they're gonna get sort of bigger and stronger and yeah um but i don't they they emerge from college these skinny kids and then they go in the in the league and five six years later they're so super human it feels like there's roids involved and if they were to just test the hell out of them i'd be interested in seeing how yeah and it could make football safer yeah

definitely so i i'll agree with that yeah probably so and and i see a lot of those late hits in football and some of those flagrant fouls that just seem you know when you see your guy do it you're just like why why now we fucking get a penalty like that was it that was fourth down now you fuck you just gave him a first down, asshole. Like, this could be the game changer. Why did you have to stomp on his shin? You know? And I feel like maybe that's caused by roids. Because they seem so mindless.

Like, I'd like to believe that those guys aren't buffoons out there. Although, whenever you see them on the microphone, often it turns out they, especially, a lot of our, like, sports stars, I hate that they have as much influence as they do because they're such dummies. You'll get those guys on a microphone. And I love whenever it comes out that this guy can't read or that guy didn't pass basic math or couldn't. They faked his grades through college and stuff like that. All those guys who are – some of them are functionally illiterate, like borderline retarded playing major league sports. That's a fact. And they try to keep those guys away from the mic,

but it happens occasionally. Or you'll get their college transcripts or you'll hear about it. I don't know. I feel like there's tons of drugs in those professional sports, all of them. Like drugs we don't even know about. You know what I mean?

Like I'm sure there's amphetamines going on to keep you sharp. And you know, when you're on the play like it's like super focused as soon as that snap goes off to get you that extra you know fraction of a second but i bet there's stuff to help them heal there's probably blood doping going on in the sports where there's lots of uh i mean all of them have lots of running right like you're up and down the court for three quarters in basketball some blood doping would probably help if you're up and down the court for three quarters in basketball, some blood doping would probably help. If your red blood cells were super saturated with oxygen, it's going to be easier for you to do that every single night. Can I circle back to an earlier topic?

Yeah. So would you rather have a nice truck that you drove all the time and kind of a beater car that's available to you or your situation which is a nice car you drove all the time with i don't want to call your truck a beater but it you know an older truck that uh that you just used when you needed to do truck stuff which one do you want nice car or nice truck i personally like the like the like the nice car right now i've had to choose um i'd like i don't know when it was eight months ago or something you were kind of leaning the other way maybe i don't like all right so my other truck's

about to be fixed and it's a 2008 it's okay i'll uh i'll probably stick with those two for a while the camaro and the 2008 chevrolet once i get it but if i had to choose between um like a brand new truck in the old oh that's what i was thinking a while back yeah i was saying that it would be nice to have maybe a brand new truck and a like an old car but by old car i mean like you know a 68 camaro or a 65 month you know like a car that i fixed up myself that with the car thing you're really achieving the same thing because you just really want something that looks good and it's fast and fast and it's a cool car so I don't care if it's a brand new one

before I bought that Camaro my thought process and when my dad I was like I'm either going to get a brand new Camaro or I'm going to buy like a whole body kit for a 69 Camaro and build one from the ground up but with all brand new parts build myself a brand new 69 Camaro

and it would have cost quite a bit of money it was going to be like thirty thousand dollars to do it but it would have been a brand new 69 camaro from the ground up and he was like oh you want that new air conditioning you want that new radio you want that on star you want the heated seats you want the stuff that you're not going to have in a 69 camaro that we built and that convinced me so but you know i could go either way it's it's nice chis was looking at mustangs for a while like eight months that was a good price he that last 65 he sent he should have got he should get that dude so here's what happened and i described it in these

words to him and he agreed i was he's looking for eight months, right? Every day from California, he moves out here, he keeps looking. Every day he's on Craigslist, just kind of scouring, looking at it, learning the market. And he's particularly interested in Mustangs, but looking a little broader, but especially interested in Mustangs.

And then like you said, he kind of found the right one. Did you say it was a 65 Mustang? I believe it was a 65, yeah. And the guy had done a lot of work to it like the motor had was in great shape and the transmission was in great shape and he did he had this long list and it was a lot of the fundamental stuff that you need a car to be good at um it hadn't had paint yet but it seemed like you do paint and like a modicum of interior work. And you've got a nice daily driver that everybody loves.

And these are the words I was like, sometimes when the dog catches the car, he doesn't know what to do. Because that's exactly what happened. And he finally like, this is the thing I should do. And just didn't do it. Just he stopped looking for like he stopped chasing cars, too. He's just he's not stopped chasing cars, too. He's just... He's not buying a car right now. Chiz enjoys a rising bank account.

That's one of his favorite things. There is a certain truth to the fact that cars cost money. I think he should buy that thing and he should fix it up and then he should sell it and then he should do it again. And maybe the... And I'm not saying he'd turn a profit,

but maybe the learning experience of fixing up a car and the emotional enrichment is worth the maybe $2,000 that the whole process cost him. Or just keep the fucking car at the end. You got a nice car. He should have done that. He needs some wheels. I feel like he should have some wheels too.

I've been thinking about it. This is one of my vlog topics and I can't give too much away. But I'm... Like what's important in life? Money's one of them. Finance is one of the pillars. And it's the cool thing about having some money

and your whole house does this even though not all of you have tons of money but um control over your own time that's the best part like when you have control over your own time that's a really neat thing to have not everybody's suited to that though some people are just like yeah now what do i do i guess I'll just sit here all day and don't know what... Some people don't have imagination. That's what goes back to why I should be Notch's event coordinator or professional fund manager or whatever you want to call it. Because he's got no...

There's a guy with no fucking imagination. Yeah, but anyway, having control over your own time is, in my opinion, the purpose of money. That's what that's all about. And I don't know how I got back to Chiz. Chiz likes his money, and it's great, and he's got control over his own time. But there's other aspects of life, too you know all the relationships you want to have and nurture and stuff you know and um and fitness that matter as well you know a while back chis was um not diverting a little but which is was talking about um i guess like doing that cross-country

driving a shit wagon that we put together well i don't think that would be that much fun because cross-country driving isn't that much fun when you're in a nice car and everybody's in the same car with the radio and joking and having a good time. Even then, it kind of sucks. So I'm just imagining by myself looking at a GoPro like, nobody's going to watch this.

Like doing that. But I think it would be fun if we had like junker cars and we did either A, a demolition derby or B, some sort of racing in like junker cars and we did either a a demolition derby or b some sort of like rally some sort of racing in like junk cars i know there are leagues that do this because every every now and then i see someone with a race car on a trailer but it's not a race car it's like a ford focus that's beat all the hell with a big seven painted on the side and i'm like yeah i want to do some of that like i feel like feel like that'd be cool. I, um,

I'm trying to remember. My friend participated in a race car league and I think you were supposed to spend $1,500 on your car. And you could spend anything you wanted. You could spend 15,000 on your car if you wanted to have a competitive advantage. But here's the trick. If someone offers you 1500 for your car, you wanted to have a competitive advantage but here's the trick if someone offers you 1500 for your car you have to sell it so yeah like you know like you dominate the race i don't like that right well you see like it's supposed to be about the driver not the budget so you're all out there in like piece of shit cars and i can buy yours for 1500 and you know then like that's how you get into that you should just show up and be like

that one come on now i've got a car i would never build a car if that were the case i i don't know what the winning trend do you show up with like a hundred dollar car buy one for 1500 upgrade and then raise that until till he does it back to you i i just because in my head like it so if that if it didn't have that buyback rule i'd be like yeah i'm gonna start with 1500 i'm gonna find out the best way to uh spend my 1500 first of all but then my time there's no value on my time so i'm gonna be in here for hour upon hour cutting weight and and you know polishing and doing whatever needs to be done to get every ounce of uh speed out of this thing and then they're just gonna be like i see you spent a few hundred hours tinkering 1500 ought to do it and it's just like no man you've got a stock

you just know right i used to be in the off-roading and The way they described it is the first hundred pounds you cut from your buggy is easy, right? This is a buggy open air and stuff But the serpentine belt would run the air conditioner. So a lot of people would just run that compressor It's like a 15 pound air compressor and it sucks. I guess some amount of horsepower away because you're spinning it But if you want to remove it now does the serpentine belt even work right it doesn't it's supposed to go out and back now it's going straight is it fucked up is it rubbing on something you can get a belt do you have now just get a pulley you think yeah yeah that's what you do hmm well what some people would do is figure out a more that sounds like a great way to handle

it i don't know but there were people who were like, oh, yeah, on this motor, you could just get the belt for this other car. And someone had to figure that out and make it the right size. The first 100 pounds is easy. And then people start drilling the centers of bolts. People cut every bolt on their car to be just the right length, right? Like if it's three inches wide, it's like a three and a quarter inch long bolt. So you can just see the threads when it's fully tightened. And like that kind of stuff, you think it doesn't add up,

but then you sweep up what you just cut off. That was 20 pounds too. And anyway, you put all that time into it getting that hard to remove weight and someone like you said i'll take yours yeah that's i wouldn't i don't know if i'd like that but i would like i'd be up for that because i've seen it a couple times lately i'd see those junk cars that have numbers on them clearly it's a race car there's a i didn't know if there's a roll cage but inside was gutted i'm just thinking that'd be fun i'd like even if it's just a round uh dirt track i'd really like to do rally like some sort of rally go-kart racing like i i think dude they're fast they go like i'm down

i i just worry about it being super dangerous like it's a roll cage, but dude, that one of the guys that he never actually worked on my house, but he came and gave estimates. Uh, he was into go-kart racing and, uh, like he was like, yeah, I can't do it these days because I'm going to go to Florida and go-kart race. He comes back, someone died. So they were doing a 24-hour endurance race. This 15-year-old kid was involved in the racing. The team was doing well, like top five. And he's like, I think he fell asleep because he just went straight. He just went straight, and eventually he drove into the trailer for a tractor trailer. Lost his head.

Fuck. Fuck. At first I was like, it flipped or it hit a wall but he had a perfect head lopping scenario. Whenever there's a roll cage, I'm pretty confident about stuff. I feel like once you got me in the roll

cage, I'm borderline fearless. I'm not going to drive off a mountain or anything but I'm not as afraid anymore. Yes, you have to be clever that way, you know, and really hold onto that steering wheel. Don't do that. That's how I broke my arm. People probably don't think about it much,

but this scar, that was from when I put my arm, and then her car was rolling. I put my hand out the window because I'm not stupid. But I was for a little bit for a short while. It's instinct. Yeah. So what happened in my case, it landed on the roof and all the windows broke. And then the next time it was rolling around, it was coming on the driver's side door.

And I felt like I was going to fall out. My seatbelt was on. So I wasn't. But there's a broken window the car is landing on it i put my arm out and broke these two bones so um i i i guess what i'm saying is like you you don't have to be a complete moron to make this mistake. You can be at my level of moron and still make it. And I feel like, I know everyone thinks they're not dumb, but I think I'm not that dumb.

And I did it, so it could happen. I'm always, whenever I'm on a tractor or anything like that, I look at what the worst case scenarios could be. And like, if I have to jump off, I wouldn't want to jump there, would I? Nope, get sucked right in. That's one of those things I'm always scared of. Like the rollover where your arm is out and gets bent backwards at the elbow and under the door or something. Because that's kind of an unrecoverable thing.

And that's the point where the fuel cell explodes and you're burning and with high octane gasoline and you're just trying to saw your arm off the elbow but you don't make it i only drive one tractor and it's modern and by modern i mean safe i think now no tractors are safe but i feel like the newer ones have to be safer they just have to be yeah for one they've got uh they have a roll bar they call it the rops the rollover protection system and it's basically a big upside down you sitting over the driver you can flip it and unless you put your arm in the wrong spot or something you're fine there's a there's room for a driver between the hood to the rops and you know I've seen people flip

them on purpose as a demonstration of how safe the tractor is they'll just drive and flip it and you're okay if you've got your seatbelt on now whenever I do any kind of work like when I mow I buckle in you know

I've honestly never buckled at once I haven't I do this because that's just me I'm on the forums and stuff and they preach safety and whatnot and I got into my head and if I'm doing anything Frank said I buckle in I've got a tilt steering wheel I put that thing down I got the headphones and I'm rolling but there are other times where it's like maybe I'm doing something where I get on and off on and off yeah like i don't know pulling posts out of the ground or something like that sure um or maybe i'm doing

something where it's just like ah you know it's a one minute job if you're hooking up equipment or something there's a lot of on and off stuff yeah and in a case like that i don't always buckle in and i feel like that's if i want to be safe that would be a good time to buckle in i feel like honestly i i it doesn't make it's probably it's just not true but i feel safer if i'm not buckled in i feel like i could exit the vehicle should there be an emergency i feel like if i want to i'm i could i jump up, be standing on this seat, and just dive away like a superhero if I need to. I've never been in a scenario where I thought I was going to flip it. I'll be cutting grass sometimes, and if it's – dad has wanted me to cut on some grades that I wasn't comfortable with before, and I'm just like, no, I'm not going to do that.

You do that. And he'll have that thing. He knows where the line is, I guess, because he'll just have that thing so sideways sometimes like there are some places you can't it's like it's like a the land it's like a land is shaped like a v and you just kind of have you have to go along with it there's no up and down to do um but he seems i've never buckled up i don't think does he have weight he hasn't died yet no that's i don't think. Does he have weight in the tires? He hasn't died yet. No, I don't think so. That's one thing that people do to make it safer.

They put water in the tires. I know he's got the thing that does it. That puts water in tires? Yeah. I didn't know there was a tool. I'm sure it's harder, but some people do it themselves. They just pull the valve core and fill it up. What was I going to say?

Oh, oh, in high school, many, many years ago, we watched this, like, gory, awful driving thing in driver's ed. I think it was called Room to Live, but I'm not sure. And they kept stressing it, and they were showing modern cars and old cars, but basically these cars would be in these horrific accidents and you would think that everyone died and they'd like tear the door off and they'd be like look at that there's room to live in there and sure enough like the dashboards back up you know six inches or twelve inches and that the roof is smushed but you're like yeah, yeah, totally. That person would live, you know, because there's room to live right where they are.

And the modern cars really do a nice job of keeping like the last thing to break down is that little spot where you need to be in an accident. You know, if you're buckled in where your driver is, that spot will stay air. They're super good at protecting that spot and that's how the tractor is too so that's why i buckle in i'm like there's room to live right here in this seat i can roll over i could roll down the hill like a like the cheese wheel in the uk and uh you know that cheese wheel yeah yeah they chase it that's a dangerous fucking sport people get fucked up doing that i'm to join them on my tractor rolling sideways, and I'll be fine because there's room to live.

With a bush hog attached running. Yeah. So we should probably call it a show. It's been almost an hour and a half. Yeah, yeah. All right, Painkiller Nearly, episode 62. I hope you guys enjoyed it.