Painkiller Already - PKN 620

Episode Date: July 9, 2026

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P-KN 620. Taylor, still stuck in the backrooms. Live from the kitchenette. Live from the tiny kitchenette. Yeah, dude. My wife and I are so sick of being in a hotel. You should have taken Woody's advice. All you had to do was drive 30 more minutes away,

and now it's technically a vacation. Mm-hmm. Get a nice view. You get a balcony. You could sit out there with the breeze in her hair. Mm-hmm. not now but i gotta be i gotta be close enough because i'm having to go to the house every working day to oversee stuff and then spend all day on fucking phone call after phone call after phone call with the

with the be people do you think you'll be in your house on thursday it's tuesday as we say this tuesday as we say it uh i don't know it depends on the next couple days go you're never going back no dude kyle the the absolute glee before we started the show where i was taking a second to load me in and Kyle's like imagine if he's still in that backroom's liminal space and then he's just Rooh

Ho Ho Ho It was such good timing Woody and I here first and Woody's like you think he's still there and I'm like

no he's back home by now his texting would be way more frantic and angry if he were still and then you popped in that's great so the bad investation has not been dealt with yet. The problem has not been sufficiently addressed to get back. I love the legalese.

Hopefully sooner than later, because I'm over it. Like, there's just, there's nothing to do at the hotel. Like, you just watch, like, shitty TV at night. Like, I have a Game Boy here, but I don't even want to play that. Sign into your apps. I could sign into the apps, but like, I just, I'm in such. like a sour mood that like I don't even want to I'll just be like I won't be focusing on the TV I'll be like son of a bitch for my I ought to like this is so so irritable with it I look forward to the what happened story yeah yeah hopefully sooner than later you said you were having a bad mood off Woody what's up with you I don't know if I can compete but it's been said that sometimes I take a little THC gummy to help myself go to sleep

Well, ran out the night before. And so I'm like, you know, I'm going to go to my local smoke shop, something I hardly ever do. And I go and I talk to the guy, guy's pretty dope. You know, I got it. Listen, if I go to buy a bicycle, I want to buy a bike from a guy who looks like he really loves cycling. Yeah. This guy, he looked like he knew his way around the product he's selling. And I'm like, okay, okay, normally I take like two 25s.

So I thought I'd buy like a, you know, 50 milligram but gummy and just, you know, take one per night instead of two. He's like, yeah, yeah, that's that. That makes sense. He's like, you want this one here. This has 500 per gummy. And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, like, let's slow down a little bit. 500 milligrams of THC per gummy is outrageous. And he's like, nah, trust me.

It's just the marketing difference. You know, there are 500 is like anyone else's 50. I'm like, are you sure? I take these things to help me get a good night's sleep. I woke up at 5.24 p.m. today. My day is gone. I don't know how I cut myself in the shower somehow. On my nose, on the tip of my nose, I don't know.

Jackie's like, why are you bleeding? I'm like, I'm bleeding. I don't know. Yeah. I was playing just before that I had like 10 minutes or so. I figured I'd go learn a rainbow map or something. I'm getting dizzy playing this thing. 500 is bananas.

It's like I also. I took two 25s at noon and I took a 225s at noon and I took a nap. We woke up about the same time from our naps, I would say. My 25's mean 25. The 50 of it is like, we're fucking stone like 50 is a lot it feels like dude

like I'm like dizzy the next morning you know I was up I had lunch you know briefly I woke up for lunch and bed and went back to sleep tough life over here I'm I was like I don't know just a woozy everything's spinning fall back to sleep I I'm not telling the story right but the dude

he got me way too he fucked you what an asshole I actually kind of like the guy I think he believed what he was saying but he had all this nonverbal communication I'm like you know like I what else you got around here what is the thing that's kind of like an opioid

that like was the name like yeah that stuff and I was like you sell that that's like opioid right and he's like and I'm like is it addictive and he gives me one of these like he's very concerned I want to touch it

I don't know we didn't bring any of that home I like this dude but he sells the fucking realest shit it would appear I order online I found a really good website I ordered everything online and their edibles are tremendous

their gummies it's the first gummies I've ever had where I'm like I eat these if these didn't have weed in them these are pretty tasty that was one of the first scary things about the one I had yesterday it like normally I have a gummy and it tastes like a gummy Taylor's always like oh they taste so bad and I'm like I don't know he just doesn't have a palate for sugar perhaps but I tasted this one and I was like who

they didn't hide the weed in this like what did I just sign up for it was there was so much heck and weed in this thing I don't think they could bury this the taste of it yeah that's a lot what time did you take it yesterday evening call it 930 damn So a cool 20 hours of being too fucking high. And waking up high is so not fun. You're just like disoriented and you feel weird. You're like Robin Williams. What year is it? It's a good thing I didn't have real responsibilities today. What are you going to do with those gummies now?

You're going to like cut them into slivers? I think in quarters is the next dose I try. Yeah. I like that. I like that. Yeah. that's still, yeah, mine are

THCP Gummies. They're fucking ripping. And they taste wonderful. Like I'm going to, I can see there's yellow ones toward the bottom of the, of the little package, and I'm like,

ooh, can't wait for that. Is that lemon? Hope that's lemon. Like, like the berry ones are really good. The cherry ones are really good. Like,

you could, if there were children in the house, they'd be incredibly irresponsible. Like, like, they taste way too good to be drugs. Yeah. Yeah.

I had to go. Oh, yeah, you got turned around from an urgent care. How did that happen? Yeah, it caused a small scene at the urgent care. I did my blood draw today for Merrick Health. And I needed a new physical. And you got to get a new one up to date. Every year you got to get it.

They send you a form. You print it out, take it to you to the doctor, and they fill it out. Did this story begin with Taylor saying you got turned on an urgent care? and Kyle saying, yes, I created quite the scene. It's turned away. Turned away. I was turned away. I was like, how big is his dick if he made a scene?

So I go and I give blood and I tell the lady, I'm like, hey, as I'm sitting in the chair with the flippy arm, I'm like, I pass out at the when I do this sometimes. I've done this like maybe a dozen times. I've passed out three or four of them. and I've almost passed out another three or four. She's like, oh, well, let's go in the back room. And I'm like, oh, what's in the back room? And they've got like a recliner back there that lays all the way down. So she lays me all the way down, gets me an ice pack and a bottle of water and a paper towel.

And then she starts distracting me with like dog talk. He's like, I had a golden doodle, but I had to give it up. Not enough time for him. That little fucking need somebody. And he's like, bloop. And she like sticks the needle in. and she did a tremendous job. By the time she was done,

I was like, I was like, can I, can I rate you somewhere? Like, like, like, like, you deserve five stars for this.

He's like, you can. It's in the email. I'm Lex. I'm like, all right, you're getting five stars. I love you.

I was like, you're the best. I barely felt a thing. For whatever reason, I didn't hear the disgusting noise of my own blood spraying into the end of the vials that I often hear. That went smoothly. Across the street,

there's an urgent care. So I go to the urgent care to get my, physical exam. It's like a sports physical. You've got this form and it's like art, checkmark, lungs, check mark. Cleats on. All there. Like minimum, like, like basic vision, basic hearing. Like, you know, it's where he like snaps his fingers and make sure you turn. It's like, it's basic shit. He's like, oh, the next thing on the list. And it gave it to the receptionist. I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, actually, but my own form. my need filled out and she takes it back to the doctor and she's like they won't do it and I'm like why I was like I've done this many times it's never been an issue and the doctor comes out and she just

had an attitude immediately the black lady doctor she was like the thing that set me off is she was she was like I can't fill this out she's like I would have to do blood work and I'm like no you don't I was I was like if there's something on there that you can't like certify like if there's something on there that you're like, oh, I don't know if he's got like this or that. I was like, just strike through it. She's like, I'm going to talk and you're going to listen. And I'm like, well, that's not going to happen. I was like, give me my paperback. And she's trying to, she pulled it back away a quarter of an inch. And I was like, are you stealing my paper? And I said it about it aloud. I was like, are you going to steal my paper? Are you a thief?

I get the paperback. And I'm like, I want my driver's license to the other lady and get my driver's license back. She's like, we could do this. I was like, we're not doing. anything. You were rude to me. You were rude to me. What's your problem? She's like, you have a nice day. I was like, you have a nice day. And like, no one clapped. No one.

But now I can't go back to that urgent care, even if I'm grievously wounded because she's going to fucking bleed me out in the back room. Because we need a fucking scene and they're shouting. And I called her a seat. Not so tough now, Mr. Kyle. Yeah, yeah, that's coming.

They've got me in the system, unfortunately, too. You know, made that mistake. gave her the license right away. But I either called her a thief or said, are you stealing that? And she hated that. She hated when I said that. But she did pull it away from me a quarter of an inch.

Like she wasn't going to give me my form back. Like she was going to make me sit there and listen to her lecture about bullshit before she'd give me my shit back. Why would she give a fuck? That's like petty tyrant shit. It's like, oh yeah, just mark through that if you can't verify. You listen to me. It was a whole meltdown.

I don't know what a fucking problem was. But I got it solved in that. in. If I'm like sitting in the waiting room with like a broken finger or something, I'm immediately like, I can drive another 18 minutes to the next one. Like I probably don't want this person treating me. She seems ornery. She was so angry. What a bitch. Did you get your physical all checked out? Are you still in the to do list? I got taken care of. Oh, okay. Nice. You got them to not want a physical anymore. It says the vibe I'm getting. I got to take care of, buddy.

Look, we all agreed. Physicals aren't really that big a deal anymore. I got to take care of. You're like passing the crankiness on to Merrick where they're like, well, Kyle, we really need. And you're like, you will listen while I speak. He's like, oh, yeah, you got to tell him it's for this and that. And I'm like, that's what they're poem was for.

I told it was this and that. I was like, she didn't like your form. She took issue with your form, not me. She said she would never certify. five this form and I'm looking at it I'm like what can't you certify like is it the jacked clip art guy at the top

is it just on the top like this is for the he man woman haters club I'm gonna need you to fill this out for me man man yeah damn we've all had our annoyances today yeah but minors some real first world problem shit oh

my fancy house I live in has a minor convenience and I must stay at a hotel. Kyle and I have real problems and Taylor's over there acting like he's on our level. I don't want to have to start into my apps. That is the worst one. He's like, I have to scan the QR code. I hate the entertainment.

But I refuse to just open my laptop. I think this is night eight. Yeah. Being here. So yeah. And it's not that it would be a pain to log into fucking Amazon. It's that like no matter what's on TV, I'm just not. focusing. I'm just like

being cranky. So I'm just either like reading or playing a little bit of Pokemon or that's really about it. You're gummy. Going out to eat. Yeah. That doesn't even sound fun. Yeah, you're ripped in an unhappy mood.

Then you could wander the, you show me the hallways of that place. Like you held your camera walked around. Like, holy fuck, he's in the back rooms. It looks scary as hell. You take two of those big gummies and go walking around in there. You'll be lost for an hour. I went out of my room yesterday, maybe the day before my wife and I were going to get something to eat nearby place. And usually we've been taking the left out of the room.

And it was like this ridiculously long route. And I remembered distinctly coming from the right because I used a different entrance because I parked in a different area of the lot. And I told her, I'm like, babe, take a right and we're going to cut some time off here. And she's like, I don't think so. And I'm like, I'm so sure. I remember distinctly, you know, coming this way earlier today. And we like turn the corner. And I would have bet my bottom dollar that there was an elevator there.

And I'm like, wait, this can't be. It's just another endless hallway of liminal space. And I'm like, I remembered there being so distinctly, an elevator was here. You have to believe me. I'm shaking. You have to believe me. Yes, I'm sure it was. Yeah.

the fucking carpet is that geometric like gobbly gook like swirls and patterns and shit like it looks uncomfortable when you're walking down as always and I'm listening to the clip clop or your flip flops and like or whatever it was the clip I'll give you roller bags yeah no I was also in the same in the phone hand I was holding a bag of a cheer up cheez-its and so that was crinkling a good bit did they work no afterward it's like now I just just want more. Yeah. Hope you didn't buy those from the hotel. It was going to be like $12 a bag. No, now I got them from a nearby

grocery store. I hate that. I hate when they got that motion sensor fucking Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom fucking bag of Pringles in there where you're like,

oh. Trying to fucking get some chips or a candy bar out of that thing. I hate that those exist. That's, there's nothing like that in life where

there's, You're like, oh, by the way, we've got incredibly inflated snacks that we're going to make you sleep next to. You better not get a handker in for some pretzels tonight. Would you like a 2018 NutraGrain bar? It's like, no. I don't know. The thing's been here for a while. It'll absolutely fall apart and be in your lap on the first bite.

We promise. It's our guarantee here. How long do you spend the house supervising, I don't know, bat removal? Oh, most of every day. Like I'm getting there, like, early morning. And so I'm spending a lot of time there. And it just depends. Like, today, they finish.

One very minor thing was finished, but the team of guys to finish the next significant thing couldn't start till tomorrow. Is the air conditioner running at home yet? Not going to say. but I will say it's a it's we've had a lot of hot ones here in Midwest over the fast 10 days I don't know if I was melting

I think I would not supervise that well I don't think I'd be cranky I'd be I'd be Would you? In my heart of hearts I'd be looking for a fight I mean, I'd be waiting on somebody like shit in my toilet and leave a stain or fucking like use my

like doilies wrong or like my fancy bathroom towels to wipe the greasy hands on them or something. What is this? My house has been fouled. Who did this? Julio! I don't have a meltdown. She's like, I brought those cheeses from home.

No, you didn't. They're the extra toasty kinds. Yes, I did. You son of a bitch. Yeah. had another calamity. I bet you're paying through the nose too because you got that American crew of guys working on your place. See, this is what you get for getting American contractors. I always say you get fucking Mexicans, you get Guatemalans, Honduras, Ecuadorians. Some Somalians. You place to be darned at South America. If it hits something, that guy can put your fucking AC in. That guy can handle your plumbing. You don't want Mike in there. Mike's looking at a way to like, he's reading entrepreneur books in his fucking 1990. diesel truck out there trying to figure out how to rip you one. All right? You want Julio.

That's old world knowledge. That's craftsmanship. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was part of the first generation down there to have plumbing. It was like he's he's blown away by it. He loves his craft. That would be new world knowledge. It's, it's old world for him.

That's the opposite. Yeah. I had another, like, this is probably three nights ago, because the Cheez-It bag was like a fucking week ago now that I got some other Cheezits, some extra toasties. Didn't read the box. They're not original extra-toasty. They're cheddar jack.

Extra Toasty. I had like four of them, and I'm like, what's this weird powder on the outside? Look at it. I'm furious. Could have been. It could have been the white chair. And pour them out.

Yeah. I don't like the white cheddar either. My girlfriend got one of those variety packs of like cheese its one time. And it's been years that this white cheddar ones are still sitting in there. Nobody wants those. Nobody wants those. Yeah. It's gross.

They powdered them with some sort of acidic lactate product or something. I don't know what that is. Gross. Same with the hot and spicy. You'd usually think that the hot and spicy cheez-its would be good because hot and spicy is good and cheeses are good. But they just haven't figured out anything but the original flavors ever. all their food scientists are just like put some weird dusting on it the only ones that shouldn't have weird dusting are original

reduced fat and extra toasty you can make your own they're tremendous they're so good make your own cheese it's kitchenette yeah yeah oh you can be like that guy that made the shrimp on the plane oh you can see that's what a that's what a fucking you should have been utilizing this kitchenette you could have had a whole video series of cooking with tailors here that I don't that tuned dead for something like that tiny little burner it's making every day

I'm doing easy Mac no you're making a sirloin steak on the coffee maker like heating elements be great you got the iron on the other side that'd be great I don't know

that does not as that Asian lady on Netflix would say that that does not spark joy video Taylor made like 15 years ago where his girlfriend baked cookies or something in her long I have no memory of that video.

It'd be a dumb idea to do a repeat. Bring back the old days. I got this great idea. It's a million views guaranteed. It's me dressed up that way. Yes, yes. You have the green lingerie on or whatever color it was. Or whatever fucking color that was.

Who's to say? Who's to say? I'm left to look at my hard drive here. Yep. Yep. It's great. yeah so yeah you could do that oh maybe i'll download the apps again today i would do that that that that'd be the first thing and on my mind was when we get there will

i have my apps because i i can't watch smart TVs now so like you could just go to amazon or netflix or whatever what i usually have is like a roku and i'll bring the roku and just as soon just plug it into the hdeme i have it like one i don't have to put each app on there then worry about if I left permissions in the hotel for my HBO or whatever. Yeah, that's true. I don't have a Roku though. Yeah, I just do it all just from my TV. I do that now.

It's a lot more convenient. And the TV I've got now has a pretty nice, like, interface. I used to worry. I read all this about smart TVs inserting ads. And I worried there'd be an ad in there that I didn't know was inserted by my television. Now I'm not so sure I trust Roku to be. much better. So there's a banner.

Like on my like home screen on my TV, there's a banner at the top that play silent like Lexus ads and shit. And if you sit there like AFK for five minutes, it turns the volume on. So it does do that. But as long as you're using your TV, you never see an ad really. It's like a truce of like getting in the way or slowing you down.

Like you're not, it's not like watch this 30 second ad and then you can go to Hulu. It's, they're just up there on a panel. Kind of like the way the Xbox. has become all bastardized how their home screen is like that there's some ads stuck around in the corners and stuff there's also that's part of one of the TV so cheap uh sometimes the TV because I never watch regular TV it is fun it feels like a treat when adults swim actually puts something

decent on it's like oh another episode of family guy all right that's deep oh we got rick and morty after this I haven't seen either of these Rick and Morty's and you know that's interesting enough And then after that, it's like, ooh, we busted. Metal o'calypse. What a downer of a show. What show? Metal oculapse. Do you remember that show, Kyle?

It looks like Kiss, but they're like superheroes or something? They're like a very famous metal band cartoon that used to be like, it's a 15-minute runtime on adult swim. And all I really remember about it is that the end of every episode, would be really upsetting for some reason. Like a bunch of people died or something brutal happened. And so when that came on last night, it was like, you know, it's time to just go to bed. It's time to just lay here in a bad mood for two hours.

I've been watching X-Men 97. It's on Disney. They sort of re-I don't think it's a reboot. So like X-Men cartoons from the 90s were my favorite cartoons. They were super edgy for their time. and still they are. Much of it's an allegory for like the AIDS epidemic and racism and stuff. You know,

the mutants are the ones who are the outsiders who just want their like evil rights. And, you know, there's mutis. And they're like burning their houses and chasing them around in the gutters. And the Magneto's famously like his family's killed in the Holocaust. So he's like, he's got that sort of against humanity. And now they're targeting him not because he's Jewish, but because he's a mutant. So he's got all that going on. And so they, they really.

restarted it again. It's called X-Men 97. And it's just, it's old-school, like, 90s cartoons, but new. And the second season just came out.

So I've been watching that. I really like that show. That sounds so gay. It's brave of you to say that you like it. It's the OGXmen. It's so good. You got morph in there. Well,

we're already proud of you and you're coming out about this topic. You got cable and forge. He got some deep cuts in there. Who the hell are any of those people? Cable Forge and Morph? Wait, wait. Morph is Wolverine's boy.

They're like besties, but Morph has mental issues. His power is he can turn into any other mutant and like have their power to a lesser extent. Like during a fight, he's turning into the Hulk and smashing somebody and then. Isn't that rogue's power? No, rog's power is she she could fly. she's super strong and if she touches you with her bare skin she can absorb not only your like powers but your knowledge morph at will shift shapeships into anything he wants

so he can do it fluidly in a fight he could be quickly be like Wolverine and stab you up and then be Cyclops and blast you and then turn into like some other thing you know like turn to the storm and hit you the lightning bolt like he can kind of bring the same thing together it's good stuff Taylor just listing everyone he knows in this universe. Oh, and cable. Cable is the son.

Cable is the son of Cyclops and Gene Gray. But it was actually the clone of Gene Gray that Mr. Sinister created in secret. They had a child, a baby. And then that baby was infected. The baby, Mr. Cinder's badass. He's got crazy eyes. So the baby was then infected by like a techno virus or something like that.

So they had to sit, he got this got sent. back, I think forward in time to this crazy dystopian future where mutants are fighting and he like aged up to like 45 or something and then came back to his parents as like a 45, 50 year old man and he's like, mom!

And he's like, he's got all sorts of powers and he's got a gun and a crazy eye. Well, they have guns now. He came pretty awesome. Huh? He could have got a gun in this time. No, it's like a future gun. It's like a crazy plasma rifle thing. But he

also has. So in the future, the mutants never start behaving. They're still causing a ruckus. They're always behaving. They get hate crimes by the humans. Lasering people at Starbucks. It's the humans usually that like attack them unwarrantedly. You know, they created

their own little island paradise or like they got their own country in their own city the mutants did. And the humans like WMD them like hit them with like a 9-11 Pearl Harbor kind of situation and attacked them. That was a mistake. It was. Because they're basically gods.

Probably should have left them alone. Right, right. The gods that seem nonviolent if you don't provoke them. Yeah, usually, usually. Anyway, that's been really fucking good. I like, I like X-Men. Yeah. They don't all seem very now.

I'm like, half of them evil. Who are like, we should rule the world. Like, there's no way Mr. Sinister isn't up to no good. Yeah, Mr. Sinister is not a good. Taylor put that together pretty quick. Yeah. You know, I got a feeling about this, Mr. Sinister guy

Apocalypse? He's up to no good. Apocalypse. Another guy. I'll trust him. Good call. Mr. Bad guy? I worry about him. Cable?

Captain Eve? Why have you tricked him? Yes, there. I've seen that coming. My eyes glow red. And I have a forked snake tongue. Yeah, I guess we should have. That's a tremendous fucking show. I'll take your word for it.

Yeah, yeah. I watched that, and I watched the new Mortal Kombat movie. The new Mortal Kombat movie was actually pretty fucking good. I liked it. The fight scenes were like extra over-the-top violent, like really bloody and gory with like people slowly sliding down spears and dying and like getting all their fingers cut off and stuff. It was a good Mortal Kombat movie.

It's got Carl Urban in it. Love him and everything. A-M-R? Yeah, he plays Johnny Cage. And they have a bit of fun with the fact that I think that guy is like 55 or so. Like, he's getting up there. And in the movie, he played, Johnny Cage, of course, the character is a movie star

who's been chosen to fight in the Mortal Kombat thing. So that's part of his backstory. So they have Carl Urban be like an over-the-hill movie star who like make Kung Fu movies in the 90s. and he was like a UFC champion in like 1999 or something like that and there's the scene where like, you have been chosen to represent Earth realm in mortal combat. He's like, why me?

He's like, I'm 50. Like, they're like, you are a champion. It's like, yeah, and like 98. Like, what are you talking about? I'm going to fight. So you have been chosen. And like, I couldn't get over that. Like we literally go to another dimension and fight for Earth realm against monsters with glowing eyes and shit.

But I was like, Goro? That's what Goro's in, right? The forearmed? I think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I kept looking at my girlfriend going like, but why would you pick a retired fighter who went movie star? I was like, because of John Jones piss hot. Like that's what I was like, I was like, why aren't they picking John Jones?

she's like this isn't the time you're just going to talk about eye pox for 30 minutes well eye pox are nothing that guy threw a fireball that one has a laser eye like he told you four times I don't want to watch this so she did it was her idea

she likes Carl Overn she's like you're like pulling her headphones out to say these things what did the American guy or the movie star guy do like he must have had some power that makes them worthy of immortal combat thing. You get your powers as it goes on like traditionally in these movies at first like the human character

is like, wait, you guys are throwing fireballs and shit? He's like, I just do backkicks and they're like, you'll get your powers but then like I had taken my gummies and I got tuckered out so I didn't watch the last quarter of the movie so I got to go back to it. I'm not really sure. Sign of a good movie.

No, it's a sign of like my sleep's getting bad. The sign of a strong gummy. I'm sleeping. It's been eight hours a day, but they're, they're, like, poorly timed eight hours. It's like I'm going to bed at, like, 9 p.m. and waking up at 4 a.m. or something like that. So, like, I had to get a tuckered out. I had to go to bed. Do you think this is just going to be a completely shot day, Woody, that, like, an hour after this, you're just going to say, fuck it and get back in bed?

Or are you going to have to, like, roll it forward to the next day of staying up? Because that's tough. I hope I go to bed on time. I'm just fucked. I don't know how I'm going to manage this situation. Who wakes up at 5.24 p.m. and gets the sleep scheduled. It's not totally ruined for some extended period of time.

This guy fucked me. He fucked me so much. I need a more comfortable office chair. I'm just wiggling around here. I feel bad for you. That's no fun. I also bought gummy mushrooms, some sort of legal gummy mushroom,

but I didn't touch those. I don't know. I got this mushroom vape pen. And it makes me feel real goofy. I'm not nauseous or anything, but I feel very, wherever the opposite of floaty is. I feel like that. I feel weighed down. Yeah, it's real good.

Oh, in a good way, you feel? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I like that anyway. I like it. I like melting and watching Rick and Morty or something like that. Or playing another thing, like I always give you shit for playing a 45-year-old video game on your $3,000 computer. 46 now. Yeah, 46-year-old video game on your $3,000 computer.

Happy birthday Taylor's J-ass game. It's a good game. Yeah. I've been, uh, cheesy guy. In preparation for Grand Theft Auto, I've been playing some, uh, some games on Xbox, on console, so I played, uh, Space Marine 2. I beat that campaign in like one sitting.

It's, it's good. So it's really good, good story. Uh, lots of epic, like, cut scenes. It's got that scene that like what he teared up for when Calgar like steps off the spaceship and like allegedly teared up. I teared up too. We're crying together. I don't remember this at all. No, it's got that in there. It's like a real like, it feels like an old school throwback to like gears of war and shit like that where it's like you and two other giant muscle bound dudes just like,

let's kill them all. Then not if I kill them all first. and you're just like going through the enemies just tearing their faces off and shoving them up their asses and stuff. It plays a little bit like Doom in that you've got big enemies you have to parry and dodge and duck and it gets your perfect parry

and you're able to do special moves. But it's kind of a horde shooter at times too. There's so many bad guys on the screen. And then if you like 40K, it's got all the 40K weapons. And you are a space marine, like a famous one that's like in the lore and stuff. So that's pretty tight too.

I ran through that in a day and I was looking for something else to play and I started Fallout New Vegas so I'm playing like it emulates Xbox 360 to play Fallout New Vegas like it like turns on it goes Xbox 360 and shows the old school shit

and then loads up New Vegas I guess they don't even run it on the Series X exactly but I've been digging that I haven't played that in like 10 years or something like that's always been your favorite one right it's so good I love it. Yeah.

I'm having a... When did that come out? Like, 2009? Around that? Uh-uh. Oh. 2007, maybe? Oh.

Let's see. I wish I'd played that at the time because it's so... Yeah, 2010. Like, archaic feeling the times I've tried to play it. Because I'm just not in the fallout world that I'm like, I don't want to put up with what to me are like an unacceptably poor quality of... of life in like going through inventory and exploring things and you know it's going to keep a clean and it's a bethsda game it's going to have random glitches where you look up and it's like oh

there is no fixing it you're going to have to go to save from four hours prior i haven't had any of that it auto saves whenever you walk into or out of a building so you never lose much time it has frozen on me maybe three times uh but i've been playing a lot so it's like you just you know you just turn the Xbox off and then on again and you're right back to where you were. The inventory management is a problem. Like it's not even as, you have to keep a clean inventory. You have to keep on top of it. Like you'll go and do like two or three raids or explore like a cave or a cave system or explore like some repcon facility. And then when you get out, you get like, all right, let's go sell all this and deposit the rest of it at our house and get our inventory clean again so that we can play.

What does Bethesda have been doing since Skyrim? I can't. Fibbing. What other games have they been making? They made it fallout four in like 2014. They did Starfield and then they remade oblivion, which is the Older Scrolls that came out in like the early 2000s before Skyrim. And then they of course made that trailer in 2018 saying that Elder Scrolls seven or six or whatever it is was right on the horizon eight years ago. Yeah, they did Starfield in 23. They did Fallout 76 in 2018.

And then Fallout 4 was all the way back in 2015. Yeah. I mean, at this point, just remake New Vegas again. It seems like they had success remaking oblivion and making it a, you know, more modern game. That's what everyone is begging for. Like if you go online, people want them to, ideally what they do is take Fallout 3 in New Vegas and make them one game and updated and make it, do a remastered version, do an HD version with some quality of life improvement,

some bug fixes and stuff like that. Because, you know, that is the one that's an actual RPG where your skills matter. If your sneak is high enough or your medical or your repair or whatever you'll be in scenarios where it's like, oh, do you have 80 repair?

Because then you don't need any parts. You can just like, you know how to fix this. And that like constantly in dialogue If you have X amount of Y skill, you're able to go a completely different way with it. So no two play-thrus are exactly the same because if you're strong enough, you get to go one way.

If you're smart enough, you get to go the other. And it really locks you in. Fallout 4, you can just do anything. You'd be a jack of all trades. But in New Vegas, you've really got to decide who your guy is and make him his own thing. You know, if you're having fun with these games, you should play cyberpunk or something.

That's new games out there that aren't from the, how old is Fallout 4? 15 years? 16 years, yeah. Bro. Or this is New Vegas. Fallout 4 isn't quite that old. No, I, I, that's probably what I'll do, but what I really want to do, I beat Dead Space last week.

What I really want to do next is BioShok. Because my girlfriend sits and watches me play, like it's a let's play or something. And I'm doing like commentaries we go. I'm like doing fucking voices for her and shit like that. So I really want to walk her through the, the Bioshock storyline and see her, like, get surprised at the end when you find out what's going on. Because it's got a really good story.

I like that one. Yeah. That's another one I didn't play enough of to appreciate it. Because everyone said the one that I played where you're on Skyhooks, all the Bioshock fans, I know, were like, ah, that's where you went wrong. That one sucks. Like, that's well understood to be the worst one, the most...

A man chooses a slave obeys. I love that that whole thing is amazing would you kindly yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah the first two are really really good I did not like the third I didn't like the third I didn't like the third at all

I didn't play the third but I played the first two I like the first one a lot a lot I like the second one I don't know the third and then gears I'd like to go I'd like to replay through the original gears trilogy I know that series how could you not like it I only played at Friends houses, and I was playing so much Call of Duty at the time that the mechanics were so different.

Then I was like, you know, maybe this is a great campaign, but I don't think I'm going to go buy this game for the campaign because this multiplayer is not very fun. I remember when I saw. It's really loud jacked, like rolling around. It was like 2005 when that trailer came out. It's the Gary Jewel song. all around me are familiar places it's that in the first gears trailer and I remember watching that when my buddies

it came on the TV and I was like we gotta get a fucking Xbox we got we got a budget for an Xbox boys slow down on the beer and wine look at this and they're like I don't know Kyle we have PlayStation 2 fuck and then like a few years later I don't want you guys play ratchet and Glyke anymore

they play mortal combat nothing but mortal combat angry mortal combat that turned into real combat but but I wanted I wanted that game so bad and then when I finally started gaming and I played it I loved it so much and I loved their trailers so much

that all of the trailers for the Gears games would get you they were kind of like the halo advertisements where you'd be like a little bit in awe a little bit sad and very motivated to go fix the wrongs that have been that have been done to you. Like Dom's wife getting like kidnapped and like raped

until she went insane in some filthy cage. Like that was pretty heavy stuff. You know? Like you've been looking for the whole first game and three quarters of the second game. And then you find her and Dom's like, got a mercy killed my wife. And you're like, fuck.

There's no option to save her. No, no. We've just got a mercy killer. And then he dies at the end of that game. It's pretty intense. I like the Years of War campaign, but it was Left for Dead that did that for me. I'd watch the trailers.

I'd see the tanks and I was the... That was the first game I bought like as I got into gaming again. I love Left for Dead. I had two friends. One was in Arizona and the other was in the UK and we played together almost every night and we got pretty good at it. The UK guy especially, he kind of carried us sometimes.

I cannot remember. any of the characters from Left for Dead one. Like I played Left for Dead 2 20 times as much as that one. The Black Coach is Left for Dead 2. Francis is the motorcycle guy that complains a lot. Zohie's the hot chick. Bill is the old man. And then Lewis is the black guy. That's the four.

Which game is the one where you have to like defend rock and roll stage at a stadium? That's left for dead. That's the second one. Yeah. I've done that. That was a fun one. I want to say the map has C in it. Like,

it's not Carousel. I forget. Yeah, I was just getting into PC gaming. And I think we were doing PKK plays. And Woody probably was like, let's do, let's,

Leopardet. I was okay, whatever that is. And it was the first time I'd ever played mouse and keyboard. And I just remember spraying with that fucking crosshair, like left right,

zigzagging across enemies. Like, Some of it will get on them. I'm like to use a spray paint can trying to like mark them. Leffred Dead still popular. I bet if I look it up right now it's in like the top 30 or 40 games on Steam. Probably.

And that style of game is what I like more. Like Leffordead's pretty rudimentary in a lot of ways. Like something about the way it aimed I didn't care for. Just having that third party. Cross hair on the screen. But like that style of game where four of us with different classes work through levels of hordes of enemies with specials mixed in. Like, whatever that is, I like that style of game.

It's one of my favorite kinds of game. Sometimes it felt like the game was cheating you when it was like, how could it be three spitters at once and we're all just hanging from the side of a building? So that's my biggest complaint about that game is that. Smokers, maybe that's what they were called. I do like the teamwork and I want us all to work together and it had to be a core part of the game. However, I want the best players to, to be able to play the game solo.

I didn't like that you couldn't play Lefferdet solo because so many of the specials would incapacitate you with no answer for that. Whereas in like Verminthide or dark tide, you get these audio clues. Like if a guy's about to shoot a flame thrower, it sort of makes the sound of

firing a propane grill like click, click, click. Click. Leffordead has those audio clues too. The smoker will cough. The boomer will vomit or like sort of belch from a distance. They all have their clues. But I don't know where they are. Oftentimes you literally can't see them.

They're making that audio cue from someplace where they're hidden. And it's designed to make it impossible so that you have to work together as a team, which I don't know a perfect solution. I don't want some very good player just leaving the other three because it's possible. But I also wish that if you were good enough, it was more possible to clutch. Those games that I like have a mechanic where if we're all within, I think it's called coherence or something. But if we're all together, we get like an extra amount of shielding from our like proximity. And it's not, you don't have to be super close.

You just got to be in the same area doing the same thing. And it's actually a way you build your character to like have more coherence or less. And like when all four of you are there, it's like, oh my God, it's like an extra health bar. I'm so much stronger, but then you pair off and all of a sudden you're very vulnerable. However, even in that vulnerable state, no matter what special approaches you, there's a move or like a dash or a dip or like, oh, shoot him before. One of his eyes are blinking sort of mechanics so that you could like solo the thing. I don't like when people leave the team behind it all.

I want us all to be together. But I do like to be able to play solo and do solo runs on my own without having an enemy that just lassoes you and says, you're fucked. You've tried to play alone. Yeah, the middle ground between Left for Dead and Nazi zombies. Where often with Nazi zombies, it was like, it's actively easier to do this alone because you never know when, you know, Joe Random is going to be like, headed your way with a big train. And it's like, no, no, no, I've got things very tightly

wrapped up here. And now I don't. Like, you've really caused a serious problem here. One issue with Nazi zombies is the kiting areas were not all created equal. So one guy thinks he's the absolute B's knees because he's never been down. He's killing it. But really, he's playing, he's doing remedial math. And he got this guy over here doing AP calculus trying to jump over lava and get around cars and this nonstop like tricky spots to manage. It's hard. I've had that is true.

There's like an A, B, Cid cutting spots. I've been in the sea and D-kiding spot before and had people complaining about their kiding spot and meanwhile I'm in the basement like just running around I'm like jumping over and diving under things and just

man this is kind of suboptimal I only have two cars and to do I'm doing a figure eight but it's it's a little boring I'm just it's like you've no idea how awful it is down here in the basement there's only one

you're on the landing pad in ascension. You're in the dream situation. And meanwhile, I'm like having to sprint jump over the puddles in the swampy area or it'll slow me down too much. A lot of these cars are more of a problem for me than the zombies. It's always like, oh, if you want, we can switch. And they're like, no, no, no. No. It's like, okay.

Well, enjoy the thundergun. They lost the plot on the zombies thing. They, like. Yeah, they did. It's way too easy to play now. and I really don't like it seems like they're not Nazis anymore like Cod never wants to use like Nazi insignia

and talk about Nazis for some reason they lost that a long time ago that's fucking lame I feel like they slowly drifted out because even the old ones like Kino Der Totin or whatever the second Der Totin was the Japanese one those weren't Nazis those were like

Japanese soldiers if I recall or at least in large part Japanese soldiers So they weren't always glued to the Nazis. Do you know about this new movie Citizen Vigilante? I've heard about it, but I haven't watched the movie, obviously. Yeah, so it's going to be super controversial. So I believe the plot is, this guy's an American, I think, and he's in Europe, and he has become a vigilante, and he is killing migrant rapists

and the judges who let them off Scott Free. and stuff like that. Like, like, apparently there's this, he's killing like, there's like, migrant Muslim rapists,

and he is killing them. And he is going on this one man crusade murdering these people being a vigilante. It's got Arnie Hammer in it, who's, Chisney, that actor, and I've heard of him,

but I don't know. I didn't, I can't think of any movies he's been in. So you say his name was Arnie Hammer? Yeah. Okay. Is it like a baking soda or something? That's Armand Hammer.

That's Armand Hammer. This is Arny Hammer. I was way off. I was way off. And just like baking soda, he's cleaning the streets. He's killing the rapists. So I guess Arnie Hammer, the actor, was doing okay several years ago. And then some text messages of his were leaked.

I guess he has some sexual fantasies about cannibalism. Like he, when he tells his girlfriend he's going to eat her, he means it. You know, he was fantasizing about eating people and, uh, and, and, and, and, like, that guy leaked. And he had to make the most, you've seen these statements that politicians and actors and people of note make when they, when they step in shit and they get someone to write them, of course, because why wouldn't you get a PR guy to like write a good thing to, like, to say out there? And his was like, I've never acted upon my cannibalistic. And it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop! Stop! No, no, no. New draft. It's like, there's no way to defend what, like, happened with it.

Pork is close enough. I've been told. The other other white beat. No, no, dude, you got caught jerking off about cannibalism. You need to, like, claim you got hacked or something. This is a bad look. Anyway, I think this movie is going to be right up your alley. Taylor, this seemed like something you'd really enjoy. It seems crazy hardcore. Like I watched a little bit of the trailer

and he's like sitting in a car with like a judge and he's drugged the judge and he's like, oh no. You know, that could be interpreted in a lot of ways. I decide when you eat, when you sleep, when you shit, I'm guessing. That's what you're guessing. No, you know what?

I think it might be CUM. It might become. I think you're right. Yeah. I'm reading the T. leaves here. When we're talking about cannibals, you shouldn't blur that, blur out the word come.

Like, that's the happy word, like, compared to this part where he says, I'm 100% a cannibal. I want to eat you. Damn, bro. Well, anyway, that guy makes a hell of a vigilante because you don't know what he's going to do next. See if he's going to kill you or eat you or what. So he's just running around killing rapists?

Yeah, yeah. I think he's specifically, like, it's sort of like touching on the modern issue with migrants being treated different in the justice system over there and running rampant and raping people and getting away with it. Specifically, I know there's a scene where I think he kills like a whole Muslim family and then the sons, all the son's friends because they had raped somebody or something like that. Like he skills everybody. Where does it take place?

Is it an American? I think it's in Europe. It's in Europe. Okay. Yeah. I love vigilante. I don't think you've ever seen the original death wish. that's a good fucking movie.

I think I've seen a couple of clips that you sent me and it seemed pretty neat. It's like full of one-liners. It's Charles Bronson. Charles Bronson is the most manly man who's ever manned. Like somehow he was like wicked jacked in the 70s. Like he's really ripped and in good shape. He plays an architect and Jeff Goldblum rapes

and murders his wife and his daughter. The daughter lives, but she's been, like, raped till the point where she's, like, traumatized and doesn't talk anymore. And so he does what any man would do. He goes on vacation to Scottsdale and leaves her behind. And while he's there, he's got to do an architecture job, like in Arizona. And he makes, the guy he's doing this, it's like a subdivision. He's been, like, a whole housing division for this guy in Texas or Arizona, wherever he goes. And the guy's doing it for this, like, rich developer.

he's like a cowboy. And so they hang out and commiserate and talk about how his wife got raped to death and everything. And when he's sending Paul back to New York, he's like, I put a little something in your bag there, little gift for home. Don't open it till you get back. He's like, oh, okay, as he's seeing him off to the airport.

And of course, it's like 70s airports. So nobody looks in the bag, and he gets home and he opens up and it's a pistol. He's gotten him this nice revolver. And he's like, yeah. And he just starts walking the streets. of New York with his pistol waiting to let's like to fuck with him.

Anybody that fucks with him, he's got a one liner and just like a bang bang. And like just fucking murdering people in the streets every night. Yeah, and the cops are on to him, but he's become kind of a hero in the papers. The vigilante's out there. The evil doers beware, you know, it's one of those situations.

None of the bad guys had guns or they had Stormtrooper kind of... A lot of them, especially most of them had knives and stuff. They were like muggers in the park and then like that sort of situation and he does not show mercy. They pull up the knife and like your life for your money mister

and he'd be like neither and they'll be like oh shit I'm sorry and he's just like die and then the one kid tries to run away and he like gets into a shooting stance and he like shoots him in the spine

as he's running away like trying to crawl up a wall like no mercy murders all of them and then each each movie after that is a little cheesier and a little sillier, except for the beginning when inevitably one of his relatives is raped to death.

Every one of the movies, like by Death Wish 4, he's like 80, and he's visibly age. There's nothing in life I care about more than my seven daughters. In Death Wish 3, I think, he's with this pretty lady,

and the crazy street punk just walk, he gets out of the car, they're parked on like a hill and he's like getting them ice cream cones it's the most like americana shit ever he's got these two big ice cream cones he's like yeah baby be right back with the ice cream cones he turns around and some street punk comes along and like punches her in the face unconscious and then puts the car in neutral and the car rolls down like a san francisco hill and explodes at the bottom with the daughter in it with the this is a this is like this is death was three. His daughter died long ago. I think she committed suicide after she got raped in two.

And then in like Death Wish four, he's got like a new girlfriend. And I'm thinking like, get away woman. No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't date this guy. Literally every movie, his wife, his girlfriend, his daughter, or his best friend are raped and or murdered by streetpunks. And then he's got to take the mantle up once again for vigilante justice. By the end, he's got like a belt-fed machine gun, and he's like Rambo walking around through the streets, just da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. And they're like running at him in waves,

like the Viet Cong and a fucking Rambo movie. And they're a completely like mismash of races. There's like four white guys, two black guys, and three Mexicans. And they've all got their faces painted, like the Warriors or some shit. And he's just mur. That movie was so good.

Yeah. Did you see The Wanderers, Kyle? Do you know this movie? I don't think I've seen it now. That's the one that hit home with me. It's a 50s, like, greaser kind of movie. And there's a group of boys, the Ducky Boys. They're like the big rival gang.

And the Ducky Boys are so scary. There may be some finger snapping involved. Pissing. like there's a scene where they drive their car in the wrong neighborhood at night and they all surround it and they take off the antenna and they start beating our boys with it and I like I put myself in this scene and I'm like oh my god I don't know what I do yeah of course it's a hundred V4 and they're beating you with a car antenna you're kind of fuck dude that'd be a rough beating it was what clever thing I do to handle this yeah there's no way to mark your way out you're not going to talk I'm eight I'm eight You're going to get beaten until they get bored of beating you. Right? I put that truck in four-wheel drive maybe is your best option.

See if you can get away. Beating him with car and tennis. That's great. Yeah. I highly recommend the Death Wish movie, though. I think you're going to get a taste of like old-school American grit. With holding nothing back, Jeff Goldblum is the guy who rapes and murders his family. And then you never see him again.

You see him in the first like 10 minutes in the movie. He never gets Jeff Goldblum? No, because he doesn't know who did it. You know, it's New York. So, like, the cops are completely ineffective. They're like, yeah, we'll keep a lookout for the curly-haired man. Yes, we'll keep a lookout for him. The curly-haired rapist will call him, perhaps.

There's nothing. What are they going to do? Is there ever a time where he's in a scene with Mr. Deathfish? Or he's like, what are you doing in the street? And he's like, that would have been. They got him for one day of shooting. That's it. That would have been amazing.

Oh, wow. Oh, he was like old young Jeff Goldblitz. this might be his first acting role. He's very young. But no, he never gets Jeff Goldblum. He never knows that it was Jeff Goldblum. He's killing everybody. He's killing muggers and like bad guys on the subway and people in the park and just he walks, he sees a dark alley and he's like, look at that. A scary dark alley. And he's just putting himself in the most dangerous If you pretend it's the same universe, that adds a pretty sinister flavor to when he's putting that water drop on the back of that Jurassic Park doctor's hand. And he's like, love finds a way.

And he's doing all that. Ask me how I know. Yeah, that's that and the fly are two of my favorite Jeff Goldblum rolls. Have you ever seen the fly? I've seen the fly. I was pretty absurd, but I liked it. Yeah, it's great. It's kind of a fun, goofy one.

The Fly 2 has one of the... I like sequels. I like the... I like how Hollywood has handled sequels differently over the year. Sometimes you get... Just do it bigger and better next time. Next time it'll be Jason, but he's in New York City. Bigger and better.

And pretty skyscrapers. Same actors. But with this one, they follow Jeff Goldblum's son, like the maggot boy that was created by his unholy union with Gina. Davis and he's like in a testing research facility they've kept him alive and he doesn't know what's wrong with him they tell him he has a disease and they're like studying him it's real dark it's real dark and some of the special effects like he spits acid on a character's face toward the end and the

guy's face is melting off and it looks i mean that's what i figure it would look like if an if a giant flyman spit acid on your face and melted it off that's what it looked like and then there's a where they're trying to perfect his teleportation technology and they send the little kids golden retriever through and it gets all mutated and fucked up and they're like, oh, we put it down and then like 15

years later he finds this mutated childhood dog being kept in this tiny little cage and suffering and eating slop and he has to mercy kill it. It's fucked up. Well, on that note, let's let Woody, uh, return to getting through these trying times with his, his hero's dose of weed. It's been like 22 hours.

I gotta eat some dinner. So best. All right. P. K.N. 620.