Painkiller Already - PKN 632

Episode Date: October 1, 2026

Use Code “PKA” for 10% off your entire Lock and Load order! https://gorillamind.com/products/lock-and-load-pka-collaboration-1/?rfsn=6138256.b4345dbGo to https://painkilleralready.com and use ‘PKA10’ for 10% off NEW PKA merch!Support PKA on Patreon: https://www.Patreon.com/PKAPKA on iTunes: http://bit.ly/PKAOniTunesPKA on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0PmbMyemYMbHVg4v9JVjz6?si=4d7da95c5b1244d0

My Rike League goalie says he plays for the love of the game. You gave up six goals last week, Steve? Maybe play to win, huh? Like with Bet365. I get paid the second my team goes out big with early payout and can cash out at any time before the game ends. Steve, Bet365, the home of winning early. Must be 19 and older.

Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you were someone you know is concerns about gambling, visit connectsontario.ca. Or call 1866 5 through 1,2600. Terms and conditions apply. P.K.N. 632. What's up, boys?

Ura. Hello. Taylor looking spiffy. What you got there? Well, in the service, I would say Sempherfi, and you would go Sempherfi back, right? That's what I always did. Why am I asking right? I know.

I went. Of course, I know. So you guys, if you're one of the big dick people that are watching the video for PKK right now, you can see I'm wearing a beautiful, high quality, definitely. American-made hat for who is this Kyle who is DD 214 what do you mean who is DD 14 well because this isn't I if I told you who I served with I'd have to tell you like one of the like R2D2 or something that's somebody's name well what what troop as a as an actual veteran that is the discharge paper that's the discharge papers the document

the DD form 214 certificate of release of discharge from active duty oh that makes sense I haven't ever received those. I'm kind of what they call Rogue. Right. You're free agents, right? They call you when shit goes bad. No, they call the seal team six when shit goes bad. And when they fail, they call this guy.

They call this guy. They call DD 214. They call, they called DD-214. You know, see, this is such Kyle, these are the kind of jokes you make when it's given, not earned.

but when it's earned, not given, we don't have the luxury of these little teahy jokes. Okay. I served in the, sorry, you're right. I served in the swamps of Vietnam, wars you don't even know about. Yeah, I'm aware of it. You think it ended in 1972? That's adorable.

There's still P.OWs over there that Taylor's saving. There's a lot of, there's a lot of Names. A lot of the VATs. You were fighting the Viet Cong in the 21st century? I was helping them. I was helping. That's the thing. That's what, that's what me, you know, that's why Kyle, when you say that we won the Vietnam War, I have to go send to five, uh-huh, because we wanted to lose publicly in that way. Had to. Had to lose publicly because we had back to or deals with the communists, didn't want to reflect bad on them. We knew they would be our largest trade partner for decades. We had to let them save face. And it was an easy way for us to do it because we did get the KD victory. These are all things that, you know, you can't go on Wikipedia. There's not, quote, unquote, Wikipedia. or news articles about this.

There aren't a 200. It's like a 200 KD or something. It's crazy. Yeah. And you know the thing about war? Both sides are definitely telling the truth about things like that. I hate when you do that. We're like,

I choose not to believe that bit of history. They didn't count the bodies. Dude, I'm not joking. Zelensky brought 8,000 Ukrainians back to life between April and September of this year. He'd lost 58,000 in April. and then a mere 50 in September. You're telling me that's not remarkable.

I don't know what you're not exhuming and reanimating Ukrainians. I don't know. No, it was him talking. It was like he probably gave the wrong. But it was the same like military horse shit where he's like, we've only lost 50,000 men and the Russians have lost two million. And the interviewer's like so true. You know that video of every single one, right?

like the verifiable like boop boop boop like montages for thousands of them like they count them you know the claim was millions though no it wasn't are we still talking about ukraine no the russian casualties that zelensky was claiming not zolensky never said millions of ukrainians died he said that millions have lost millions in this old interview he did like they've lost over a million people. Just to be careful. He didn't say casualties, did he? Oh, no.

Because they were talking casualties, but that could just be a broken leg or like trappinal or something. Yeah. You know, sometimes people don't know that. Of course. Mr. DD 214 over here. Agent DD 14.

Seal team DD 214. Yeah. You know, you guys game. You guys can game because I served. True. Every time you hit order on DoorDash, Kyle, I want you to think about me planting that flag on Iwo Jima on that fakely You were going to happen to you?

He's an impressive man. We're lucky to have it. I got there early and I planted a St. Louis blues flag and they were like, that wouldn't even be a team for 21 years. I just like to imagine you doing all this in the 21st century, like going back to the old wars. Everyone's confused. They've got no beef with us anymore, but you're just going hard.

They'd still be mad. The Japanese would be like, here's a disongering at this place. No way. The Japs are the least mad about that stuff. They joke about that stuff all the time. I think the Vietnamese also, they seem super chill about the whole thing. We would not be chill. If the positions were reversed, we would not be chill.

No, if it was reversed, wait, with the Vietnam. Tell me what the, the equivalency of a reversal. Like, what would they have to do to be the reversing? I mean, I guess it would require like some hypothetical, larger and powerful country that doesn't really exist to invade us for like a decade and kill like a couple million of us on our shores and like poisoning a whole generation of us and rape and pillage and, you know, like really fuck our shit up.

Have you seen all those deformed babies from the Agent Orange that we created? Really nasty. Yeah. Yeah, that was pretty rude. but you know I wouldn't I wouldn't have signed off on it it was indeed impolite to make all those

deformed babies that's the funniest way to like cede a point is pick a word that's like 10 degrees less and be like yeah and sometimes we do things that are a tad uncouth like there's a baby with like hands

and no limbs cartooning around for real like like yeah it's like the children of thalidomide you've seen those pictures No, what is that? That was a drug they put pregnant women on in like the 40s and 50s. And they were like, it's probably fine.

There were a couple, you know, bad eggs in the, you know, clinicals. And then it turned out that there weren't a lot of bad eggs. Wasn't it anti-nage a drug? I think it was. I remember learning. It wasn't as intense a drug as I thought. I thought it was going to be like, your baby's going to die, take this. We might be able to salvage it.

But it was lesser than I thought. It may have just been nausea. His pregnancy sickness, it was pregnancy sickness, uh, relief. And it, it ruined your children. It, it made them into crab babies and shit. Yeah, it really fucked them up. They had, like, flippers and like, um, that American horror story guy from like a decade ago, his hands, the kind of pincer hands where the fingers fuse.

That was a good, that was a good season. He's banging all those housewives with his big crab claw hand. I checked out of that show early. So you got to pick and choose your seasons because they're a legitimately terrible. seasons and then sprinkled in there's about three. I think there's about 10 or 11 seasons. There's three good ones that are like worth season. I like

Roanoke a lot with Kathy Bates. She like and there's a few other people but Kathy Bates really lifts it and then I like the Coven there's a little girl with Down syndrome but she's one of the smart ones and she's tremendous actor she's like you're always confused. I expect

her to be retarded and she's very witty and it's all. Do you know how like got that performance. They faked an owl bringing her a Harry Potter invite. They had to play that every morning when she walked on set. She thought she was at Hogwarts the whole time? Yeah, yeah. She thought it was real. Mm-hmm. We're we going to meet Snape. Don't worry about it. That must have been so magical for her. Don't you wish someone would do that to you? Some, some higher, higher level of intelligence being would just treat you to that. Like, now you're going to make God, really? And they're like, yeah.

asking anything you want. Is Nana here? Totally. This is Nana here? No, we are aliens, not angels. Why would she be, anyway? Like, just like, just like, in the conversation. There's one big heaven for everybody.

What do you think about that? If there are intelligent beings out there in the universe somewhere, they are children of God, of Yahweh. Will they be up there with us if they've accepted the blood? we'd have to be in the best heaven I don't want some fucking spider person up there with me hell no no they can have spider person heaven

they can do their own thing hmm would you want them up there would you want some some goo monster or some spider person I'd like to see what they look like first like if they're if they're spider people then no thank you

they should go to spider heaven where it's nothing but crickets and like dark addicts for as far as the it doesn't even have to be that extreme if there was a planet that was just like humans but they didn't have lips and they just had scary mouths. I'd be like, get them out of here too.

Okay. Yeah. Like it's a reality where everyone looks like the hatman or something like that. Yeah, I don't want to share those golden paved streets with those folks. No, I feel like I earned my way into a heaven, a paradise.

And if there are hat men here, then you're falling short of your bargain. Exactly. How did you earn your way into heaven, Kyle? I ask for forgiveness for all my earthly sins, genuinely. Because Kyle knew. Too easy. Earned, not giving.

When you think about it, it is too easy. And we have to thank Jesus Christ for that. And thank the Lord for giving his only son. That's why it's so easy. It's so easy because he did something so hard for us. He gave his only son. We used to have to sacrifice lambs and shit. You know, every time you'd like do something bad.

You couldn't eat it afterward. You had to burn the whole thing. You had to watch that bubbling lamb. A bunch of a sacrifice. If it's, that's, you're describing a barbecue. Say what else think Jesus' His Bad Weekend was like overblown? Jesus'

Bad Weekend? Yeah, yeah. The whole death resurrection thing. No, I think, I think he was tortured pretty good. I think that would have been terrible. I think if you said Woody, would you like Jesus's weekend

or 13 years of night school? I'd have picked Jesus' weekend twice. You have not seen the passion of the Christ. You haven't seen the passion of the Crave. You would have been, flayed. Flayed. You would have been

fleshless. Just boon on your ass. For a short while. Our fantasy commission says for him it's all about the friendships. Cute, Kevin. But I disagree. Like with Bet365.

I get paid the second my team goes up big with early payout and can cash out at any time before the game ends. No hard feelings, Kevin. Just faster payouts from Bet365. The home of winning early. Must be 19 and older.

Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you were someone you know is concerns about gambling, visit connectsontario.ca or call 18665-3-1-2,600. Terms and conditions apply. What does a sunny getaway with Air Canada sound like? Sunny Jamaica moves to its own rhythm. Rio comes alive long after the sun goes down. Philippines slows everything down. And just when you think you've heard it all, there's Sunny Lima. however you imagine your sunny escape air can take you there book hot fairs and vacation packages today nice travels and then you die that's the relief yeah no big deal and don't forget what

and how much of that time was he dead right like like maybe one of the days the easter weekend how long did they torture oh just one day i believe no No, he was dead for three days. I thought they killed him on like a Friday, and he rose on a Sunday. So they killed him the same day the torture started? That's way better than night school. No, no, they tortured him beforehand. This guy's going to hell.

Going to hell. Or they're going to spend him to Spider Heaven where you have to deal with their clicking and clacking on the Golden Rose. You know what his hell is going to be? It's crickets everywhere. His hell is going to be night school. They're going to, that's what that's what the same thing is going to be like, I shouldn't have talked shit.

now I'm in fucking Indian heaven. I still can't bring myself to care about Russian history. And every time you graduate on graduation day, they lost your transcripts or whatever. They lost all. Like, no, we have no record of you attending this school.

You're in your cap and gown. You have to go right back to admit. And we never received any payment from you according to this. You have to go, but you're still working. You have to like just keep going back to admittance. Back to admit. I used to sit in class and calculate how many seconds of school.

I had left before graduation day. And you'd be like, wow, a lot less of I skip. I skip classes. I'm really not learning about you doing this mad. Maybe a life of crime sucks. Well, graduate class, I mean, I didn't go to graduate school, but I always pictured it is like they were like, we don't keep attendance. Like, you're already in this for so much money.

Like if you skip, it's even more on you than skipping college class. Like, thanks for the money. Go ahead and skip and then fail accounting. We don't care. Come back again. Pay again. Yeah, I don't. I didn't even occur to me to skip.

It was, I used to describe it like this. High school's walking, right? You have to walk to keep up with everyone. If you sit there and do nothing, you as a runner can catch back up to the walkers and now you're set. College is jogging, right? If you miss a week or two, it's going to be tougher to catch up, but it's possible because you're a runner. And these guys are jogging. But you can't fall behind as much as you did in high school.

You're just fucked in and stuff. And then grad school was running. And I would just run the whole fucking time. You guys are out of breath through, right? This fuckers not. Okay. There's levels to this. And this is mine.

This is as hard as I could go. Well, that's, I mean, that is why you were successful. an accountant is you didn't consider skipping. I remember the like viscer, the transitive stress that I would get in regular college, like bullshit undergrad stuff, where I had a bunch of friends who

were in frats or just really, not even in frats or just big party guys. And I remember one guy in particular, Miat, the same guy who watched that, NYU ATT. No, that's just what we called him. His name's Matt, but we'd be like, meat.

But because he was the one who, no, he was one, still to this day, one of our close friends, but he would, he's the guy who saw that old lady crumple in between a couple cars and was vomiting. And she was yelling, mad, is it bad? Is it bad? He was that guy. And I remember in, it was my sophomore, he's a year younger than man. So it was my, maybe sophomore year of college, his freshman.

And we still hung out because we knew each other. And I remember I was friends with a bunch of his. Frat brothers and I knew some of the pledges too. We were over there hanging out like on a football Sunday or whatever. And he was like, bro, I'm like totally out of control. I got my GPA and it's like a point six.

And I was like, Matt, that's like not really a laughing matter. Like you're going to get kicked out of school. Like you're definitely going to get kicked out of the fraternity. That's not really a laughing matter. Yeah. You can bounce back from that.

He's my friend. And so like, I was like, dude, you got to get it together. like you're not only going to get kicked out of this frat they're not going to let you join and you're also going to get kicked out of school and he was like whatever man it'll be it'll be fine did get kicked out of school did get kicked out of the frat had to like earn his way back into the

school it was just the next year he just was it his first bad semester uh it his i think his first semester freshman year he actually was pretty fine but then he pledged and rushed second semester and it just went to pot. It was smoking weed all the time. It was like showing up at my, because my apartment was like a hangout place for a lot of us. And he'd come over there on like a Sunday and he'd be like, I got a big business test tomorrow.

And I'm like, oh, it'll probably be pretty easy. And he's like, I don't even go to that class, dude, who cares? And I'm like, you got to like, you got to care a little bit, man. Like I get that it's Mr. Cool, not caring right now. Like, who's paying his tuition? I don't know. That's a good question. He wasn't caring enough and I was like, how are you not stressed?

And what was his punishment? It was sounds like it was too. It was more than I got. Here's my quick story out of there. At this time, I worked during the day. I went to school at night. I took three courses. And my commute from work to school was like 90 minutes to two hours, depending on traffic.

But the winter was bad. And when there was snow, that two hours would become like four and a half hours. And I would just entirely miss class. my school did trimesters. They're only 10 courses. You miss like three or four courses and you're hopelessly behind. I got straight Fs one term. And they put me on academic probation and I was like, not my first roadblock.

And just got better grades next term and I got off academic probation. It was hardly an inconvenience. That is to my memory, something similar happened to him. but he like maybe whoever was paying for his college. I don't remember who it was. But I remember he sold me something to the effect of like, yeah, I'm on academic probation. And I, you know,

the frat couldn't accept me. But who cares? We're still in like with those guys and we're friends. We can still party with them. But like I only need like a 2.0 to get off academic probation. And that's like, who cares? But his parents or grandparents, whoever was paying for his college, like later he told me,

he's like, yeah, they actually came back with. like a lot stricter rules than the academic advisors where now my cutoff is 3.5. Regardless of what they say, if I don't get a 3.5, I'm in deep shit now. And so the rest of his college career, I believe he did pretty stellar because he wasn't a dumb guy. He was just lazy and doing nothing smoking weed and getting drunk. Three five is tough though. Yeah. I mean, maybe you're a good student, but I three five, I think he's pretty good. Yeah, it is very well, he maintained that. So they put the fear of God in him. And so it worked.

Especially considering like what he'd done before. I guess they knew their kid though. Like, you know, they was going to say it sounds like good parenting. Like they locked him up. Like the generic version of him that I had my head. I was like, let's go. Let's go for 2.5. I mean, that's even leaving a little cushion there.

He's passing everything. Let's go. I hear you. In this scenario, I bet if they did set the bar at 2.5, that's what he would have aimed for. and he would have also had like a bunch of bad behavior. I'm looking for a better term, but like self-destructive behavior wrapped into and got a two-five and not really locked in like he needed to.

Yeah. Yeah, they knew him. Between trying as hard as you can and being like, oh, I can try medium hard. It's way easier to dial in as hard as I can go than it is medium hard and just enough for two-point-od. Because he was not dumb. He isn't dumb. He's actually a very smart guy. He just was.

like the laziest I've ever seen a person in an academic environment ever where he'd like text me at 10, 15 in the morning on a Wednesday and be like, Taylor, I'm so hung over. I'm coming to smoke weed. And I'm like, I'm sitting down to class right now. And he's like, it's okay. I still got a spare key. I'll just meet you there.

I was like, oh, man, I'd like to go home and be alone sometimes because I'm getting tired of being fucking Seinfeld's house. I told you one of my other friends. set up his gaming setup in my closet because he was too afraid to put his gaming PC in the frat house. And so he would like show up sometimes on weeknights like fucked up. And he'd be like, pledge is a bitch. I just need to do some gaming.

And he'd just walk in, open up my shitty little apartment closet, go in there and close the door. I could hear like the fans on the PC struggling not to overheat from inside my entirely closed closet as I'm like watching trailer park boys. And sometimes he would startle me because I'd be smoking out of the zong. I'd forget he was there. I'd be like eating snacks an hour and a half later. And he'd like, he'd open the closet behind me at my, on my futon.

And he'd be like, you want to order gumbees? And I'd be like, no, fuck. Man. Fuck! Announce yourself.

You have your own Kramer. You had your own Kramer. I did. I had like five cramers. I had no space. I had no space. I had no space. I can't have that many people around.

My brother and one of his friends, I mean, they're both my friends too. But, uh, when they were pledging this fraternity, there were a lot of times where they just needed a little space. And one time he just called me and he's like,

it's like, it's just like midnight. He's like, we're heading over there. Me and Luke are on, on this new bike. We're going to be there soon. We're pretty drunk.

Are you there? And I was like, yeah, I'm here. Okay. And I'm just like playing Skyroom high. And I hear the, like,

I hear like them struggling to my front door. And they're like banging on it. And I open it. And they're like, both bruised and battered and the bike is completely destroyed and they're coming in they're coming in like

ooh like they had just fallen and I was like dude what's the like what happened man like this is your brand new bike and he's like I know I was riding my bike and your brother was on the back and we were coming up to a curb and I said watch this I'm going to pop the curb but I didn't care how much

weight was on there so I tried to pop it and we just hit the curb and we got thrown into the road And so they were all scraped up and bloodied. And he's like, but my bike doesn't look that bad, right? I go out there. Bikes completely ruined. Were the wheels not round anymore?

Like the front wheel was almost like you chopped a slice of pizza out of it. It was so dented in. Hard. It's so hard. But like the way my brother described it is he's like, we were just so drunk. And I was riding on his back. And he just went, watch this. And went as fast as he.

towards the curb and then couldn't pop it just as he could with 400 pounds of passenger yeah yeah I bet it threw the fuck out of him that would have been fun to watch that's one of those you wish there were flock cameras I wish I wish so but yeah they were just wounded on my couch the rest of the night you like my brother's like you got to tell your dad about that bike man like you bike all the time and he was stoked to get you that new one like because you've been doing well in school and he's like no I think I can just hide it from him It's like, all skin up like that. Like growing up, everybody obviously gets like your knees and stuff like that.

But like when you have a real wreck and you're kind of like skin up all over. Oh, that's no fun. It's. And then you, I don't know about you, but like we were a big neosporan household. So something like that requires a whole tube. So you're just sticky all the time now. I remember the time, the time that me and my cousin Scott were running and that guy started chasing us because we were quasi trespassing.

And I ran through all those thorns. I was covered in cuts. Like it looked like I had been in a sack full of cats. Like my, especially my feet. My feet were crazy. Like there were almost more scratches than there were like good skin. And I was just in bed like neo-sporined up. So sticky.

Like there were just cuts on my head, cuts on my face. My whole back, my stuff scars on my back that are like long, like little, not like a wide scar, but just this long, nasty scratch all the way from my shoulder down from tearing through that shit trying to escape that psychopath. We were in a neosporine household as well. But only when I got really cut up as a kid and my mom was like put this on. And even then it was only a one-time thing.

My mom was probably supposed to keep it on there. My mom had a car accident and she had had some scars on her forearm. And I think, and she had gotten them all to fade away. And I think that experience made her big into scar prevention. So whenever us kids were like fucked up somehow, she's like, oh, let's get that neosporin on there. Let's get the vitamin E on there.

So the redness goes away and stuff. She was big about that. We weren't like that at all. If we got hurt, she'd pour hydrogen peroxide on stuff and then that's it. I didn't really like Band-Aids after like five years older. So once I got out of kindergarten, I was done with Band-Aids. And you just, it hurts to get hurt. And then it hurts a little more to get the hydrogen peroxide on it.

And then you fucking go do something else. Yeah, that's how we handled it. Or that yellow stuff. Is it iodine? Yeah, on my grandparents' farm, like when I would like get cut up or hurt or something in the woods, she would always have that yellow liquid to dump on there. And I remember that feeling more irritating than the hydrogen peroxide. Which at least like I would see the hydrogen peroxide bubbling. And even as a kid, like that pain plus the bubbles in the wound, in my head, I'm like it's solving everything right now.

I thought it was cooling. Do you know why iodine is yellow? I don't. Do they add a coloring to it? Yeah, so the doctor can tell if the nurse properly prepped the patient. You can get clear iodine too. Okay. Well, this was only ever yellow.

Yeah, the yellow is much more common. It's like just what it's supposed to be, kind of, like psychologically. But it's, I'm pretty sure I'm right. The doctor can tell if the nurse put it where it's supposed to be. They had scents to a lot of poison gases that are normally odorless for, like, other reasons. Zyclon B, the stuff they killed the Jews with, the difference between Zyclon B and Zyclan A

is the smell. Zyclan A is for rats. Pupine smells like eggs, kind of. Does it smell like that? Because it's propane or they put it in there? I think it's sulfur that's in it from its like nature, by its very nature.

It smells anyway. They put stuff in there to make it smell. Natural gas, they do. Yeah. Like the, like the, at your oven, like the smell, I think that smell, maybe there's something. I thought I remembered Hank Hill at some point saying something like that. And that seemed like the kind of topic that Mike Judge would research before having Hank spout off about propane since I was a big part of his character.

Yeah, they do. Is it funny? I agree. I'm sorry. I'm like, I do trust Hank Hill on this topic. He wouldn't just make something up. Yeah. Mike Judge wouldn't be like, yeah, that sounds good.

He'd be like, well, we, this is. really a part of Hanks character. Let's be sure. Like, this is make them wrong. Yeah. So the rotten egg, sulfur, skunk spray smell is from an additive called Ethel Mercaptan. It's an unpleasant smell, so you don't, you know, you know if there's a propane lake. Interesting. I knew that natural gas had one.

Like, is propane natural gas? Are they the same? They're different. Natural gas is methane. Oh, that's right. Okay. That makes a lot of sense. there's another

you said methylmercaptin was the bad smelling thing I believe there's another one called cadaverine which is like a bad smell like yeah what do you think cadaverine smells like let me make sure

I remember this from yeah cadaverine is a foul smelling organic diamine compound with the formula produced during the breakdown of animal tissue and the decarboxilation of amino acid lysine So you can add

You can add cadaverate if you really need something I put lysine in my protein shigs But not the broken down version No the the good version I don't know why I do it though I was told to Well Derek knows a shit Yeah exactly I have no idea Tilly you sound good

You were sick on Sunday Are you better better now? Yeah yeah I'm totally fine now Just took a couple days And the little Zicam sniff thing I can't it's it's that same shit I think you've said before Woody where it's like

you take these like little airborne or like vitamin C pills for your cold and you're like wow it really did shorten it but it's like did it or did it just go away because colds generally only last a couple days for me it lasted a couple days and went away

dude I feel so bad today I woke up my temperature regulation was a mess. I'm a furnace. My bed is just so hot. You flip the pillow. Baby takes like 60 seconds and now that side's too hot also. Everything is too hot. I'm cranking up the AC. I'm sick. It's a little cold. Oh, okay. I'm going to say I get that from some of the supplements I take. Oh, no. I don't know which one of the things that I take do it, but like occasionally I get like hot flashes like a lady. you're probably taking too much nice and Jackie actually she's like she took Colin he had to get a special speech evaluation for this program we're trying to get him in and there were sick people in the waiting room Colin got sick now Jackie and I are sick that's I think that's the genesis of it and no one's a bigger baby than me in this house like Jackie's you know yeah I feel bad too right right so I'm going to need dumplings in a soup

And then T. And she's like, you know, I'm sick. Yeah, yeah. You know, I was thinking maybe you can have some too. You know what? Make two cups. You're right. Jackie, I just got to game my way through to the other side.

I just got to keep. Dude, yes. Yeah, yeah. So I hop on Rainbow. I played three games. I lost every single gunfight today. This is literally never happened. Even when I was first learning to play.

I am 0 and 9. And I was like, maybe I should just stop before I ruined my stats for good. It's because you're sick. It's not a fair representation of you. It really is that. You're sniffling, you're sneezing. I'm like distracted in game. My brain is foggy.

I'm clicking slower. I suck right now. So I, and I'm sick and I can't find a place where I'm like comfortable and happy. I'm just, I'm bored. It's terrible. That sucks. Yeah. Well, you don't sound too bad.

Hopefully you're more on. the upswing than the continued down swing and if you are sick hopefully a cold not a flu not a real deal sick what's the difference just length of length of time

no they're both viruses but like a cold goes away in a few days a flu can stick with you for like a week is a severe cold no it's the influenza virus whereas the cold is like a rhinovirus right I have heard those words before but they they feel similar

like unless you get the stomach flu. Stomach flu is a whole other beast. But regular flu versus regular cold. It just feels like it's just an amped up version of all the shit where, oh, you got a little stuffed up with a cold where you're hyper stuffed up with a flu. You got a little sore throat with a cold. Well, you got a real bad sore throat with the flu. Takes three days for a cold.

Takes eight days for a flu. Yeah, that's kind of my experience. But colds are almost always really mild for me. It's mostly sore throat and stuffy nose. and like sort of a brain fog, but flu can come along with like hot sweat, like flashing back and forth between chills and night sweats and muscle soreness and just,

I have to sleep a flu off. Like I have to just give up on life and be like, I'm going to sleep 14 hours today. I'll see you tomorrow. Like fuck this. I'm looking at the symptoms of both. I think I have a cold. But when I get a cold,

the suffering is comparable to a flu because it's me. Yeah. Of course. You know, and you need to remind Jackie, you know, that's earned not given. Like you've earned that soup and those. I picture you like being a brat with it where you're like, oh, I really, I really want to chicken dumplings. And I just don't want to be me. I don't want to be a bother.

No carrot. She's being wild. She's like in a robe, like like those like those puff. commercials, just red nose. Just, okay, Woody, I'll do it for you. Dude, at one point this has to do I'm the worst husband ever. I was like, honey, that last tea you made? I didn't drink it now.

It's cold. Can I have another? Our fantasy commission says for him it's all about the friendships. Cute, Kevin. But I disagree. Like with about 365, I get paid the second my team goes up big with early payout and can cash out at any time before the game ends. No hard feeling.

Kevin. Just faster payouts from Bet365. The home of winning early. Must be 19 and older. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you were someone you know is concerns about gambling, visit connectsontario. orgia or call 18665-3-1-2,600. Terms and conditions apply. What does the sunny getaway with Air Canada sound like? Sunny Jamaica moves to its own

rhythm. Rio comes alive long after the sun goes down. Philippines slows everything down. And just when you think you've heard it all, there's sunny Lima. However you imagine your sunny escape, Air Canada can take you there. Book hot fairs and vacation packages today.

Nice travels. She made it. Perfect. And can you take this old cup? It's just going to get gross here, please. You know me. You'll ignore it for three weeks. there'll be a moldy little bag at the bottom of an evaporating cop.

I did do one thing right. I was the one who got up early and let the dogs out and let her sleep. That's good. She's more than made up. And, you know, hopefully you can, if anything, you should be rationalizing your terrible stats on rainbow right now so that when you feel better in about three days, you've kind of artificially lowered yourself and then you get like maybe 10 banger wins in a row. And then you're like, now Woody's back.

Now he's in the midst. I even think about that. Tomorrow, I could be feeling better and benefit from the skill-based matchmaking I earned by sucking today. Dude, Rainbow Six, every day there's these challenges. And there's just two. They're always the same. Play two games. You get a little bonus for it and win a game.

That's a separate challenge. You get a bonus for that. It took me three games to get a win. I was just wait. I was like, guys, I'm so sick. Can you carry me? These are total strangers. They don't know me.

And they're like, I got you, man. And I was like, I'm sorry I went 0 and 2, but thanks for the carry. He's like, no problem. It was cool. The rare, nice person in Rainbow. Good for them. You should make the finance list. He'll be impressed when you're no longer sick.

Yeah. He'll be like, oh, man, maybe he really was ill. I'd even contemplate the skill-based matchmaking bonus I'm getting tomorrow. There you go. I'm going to wreck house. He's going to be so impressed. He's going to be like, oh, man, I knew. And for some reason, he's a spank.

And he goes, yeah, I knew you were ill. I didn't know you were ill in. It's like, yeah, Ted, three days ago, you said you were from Vermont. Why are you doing this voice? Yeah, I hope you feel better. Cold suck. Thanks. But I'm already through it enough that like, I'm like, yeah, that wasn't even a big deal.

Meanwhile, like two evenings ago, I was also waking up just soaked and sweat. Like, you know the worst feeling where you get one side of your pillow wet with sweat from like your neck? And then you flip the pillow, but then you sweat through that one too quickly. And then even when you flip back to the other side, it hasn't dried out yet. And so now it's just cold. But that nice cold feeling goes away momentarily when it's like a wet cold feeling. Yeah, no good. No, that's no good.

I'm not familiar with that. I would change pillows or pillow cases or something. I've gotten up from I've gotten up with night sweats before and being like plenty new sheets and I'm going to take a shower get started I've got there's a puddle like like you can see where I was laying I've sweated so much into the fucking bed that's pretty brutal yeah seeing a real wet puddle I don't I can't remember the last time I was sick enough to really see that probably 20 I think 2017 I got a horrible flu

and that's when I took way too much NyQuil and was like almost hallucinating laying in my bed in my in my apartment where like I thought I saw a big I was laying in my bed and I thought I saw a big spider what like up in the corner of my room because I didn't know anything about so how much NyQuil does it take to achieve this effect I don't know because I wasn't trying to get it because I at that point like I was so sick and my throat hurt so much like I was tempted every time I needed to swallow spit to just get up and go spit. my spit because my throat hurt so bad. And so I literally, this was like days of not sleeping.

And I was like, I don't care. I'm getting as much as I'm taking shots of NyQuil every hour until I fall asleep. And I remember laying in that bed feeling like I was vibrating, but knowing I was fully still and looking up in the corner of my apartment and seeing like a big spider briefly and in my head thinking like, he's not here to hurt anymore. And like that was all, that was all I thought. I just, I processed it the same, the same way I would if I saw a regular house spider where I was like, he's going to kill bugs. But then the next like, but then like I was having a gatorade later when I woke up fully and I'm like, that was horrifying.

Like what? Did you look? Did you like, make sure he's still not there? Hello, Taylor. You're finally awake. Is your cold better? It was like, it was like dreaming, but not dream. It was a horrible feeling. Don't take too much NyQuil. I did sleep, but it wasn't like a restful sleep. It was the kind of sleep you'd get. if you took 500 milligrams of edibles. And then you're like, you may sleep for 10 hours, but you're not waking up, you know, stretching those arms feeling rested.

You're waking up feeling like you can go right back to bed. That's the danger of late night edibles. Little riskier than late night little puff on the pen. Because edibles like, you'll wait. That's the only weed hangover effect I'll get. So I take an edible too close to nighttime. I wake up feeling as though I need three hours more sleep.

even if I just got a cool seven, eight hours. I don't. I just get really restful sleep. I usually take an edible if I'm going to take one at like six or seven p.m. And then by like midnight, I'm like my girlfriend's over there. I'm like, I'm going to bed. Something just came over me. I don't know what.

She's like, it's the edible. It's the edible. And I'm like, sorry, I got so high. I forgot I took it. It could be anything. It's the fucking edible you took. They're 1,600 milligrams or something. I'm like, oh, fucking crazy, right?

You and you're a medicinal training. You think you know everything. 1,600 milligrams each, honey. I've got some pretty wild ones right now. I wish we were sponsored by the website. I'd give them out, but they're fucking tremendous. I get a really good deal. They've got like a points program, and those edibles are really well-dosed.

Do they get illegal at the end of this month? They extended it. So I get email. So the place that I buy my weed from, the owner emails his VIPs, literally everyone who's information he has, and lets us VIPs know what the skinny is on the legal process. Apparently they got it kicked down the road till December. And then maybe they make a decision then or maybe they kick it down the road again. So hopefully they do the the real ID shit on it. If you guys remember,

I remember having to travel for work in 2014 and having my manager at the time tell me like, you'll be fine to fly this time, Taylor, but you need to get a real ID for next time because it's already been pushed back a couple of years, but they're for real going to pass voter ID. And so we're going to have you fly out here again, in early 2015, you know, you're going to have to have that real ID.

Never went through that process. And they never actually required voter or real ID got pushed back so many times because it was a national thing and they were trying to do it state by state. You didn't actually need real ID to fly until like the last few years. It got pushed back over a deck. You have one though. I do have one now. Yeah, because it was so easy to get one.

Well, they made a driver's license is real IDs. Yeah. Well, you have to bring an extra thing, or at least the way it was back in the days, you had to bring an extra form of like payment or like something attached to your, it was one more form of documentation than the traditional driver's license renewal, I recall. Yeah, a Missouri driver's license, just like a Georgia license, though, is a real idea. I think there's a star on it somewhere that signifies that. It is now. But what I'm saying is like in 2014, I was being told this was urgent. And. Even now, I believe they might still have exceptions for people who haven't got one yet. Why don't they make all, since we've upgraded the driver's license to a real ID, why don't we upgrade to like whatever a passport is? Why can't we do that? Why isn't every driver's license just a passport as well?

Not only would you get everybody licensed up because it's easier to do, but like, then you wouldn't have to worry with the whole passport process. I think you need a little more. I think the required ID for passports is a little more stringent than, It is. Because you have to, you can get a license in a lot of states without being a citizen to get a passport. You have to do like birth certificate and like a couple other things that prove like citizenship. Isn't that driver's license too?

You get birth certificate so security card. I think that's all you need for a passport plus the super picture. For driver's license you can, yeah, for driver's license you can also. There's something with driver's license to do with like a bill in your name to your ad. address and then maybe you can bring a social security card or a birth certificate or a passport. Like if you already have the passport, all the other IDs are easy because like it's the or maybe birth certificate is the crem dala cram.

I don't know. But anytime you're looking for a government ID, it seems like passport or birth certificate or the two that lessen the amount of work you have to do. And birth certificate seems easy, right? Like maybe nowadays they're all amazing with holograms and stuff like. bet, but my birth certificate seems like something I could print. I've got my original birth certificate behind me. I actually tore in half because it was in an envelope,

but I didn't know what was in that envelope. And I just thought it was, I was just errant up trash. Just right down the fucking middle, like an ape. It's literally right down the middle. Like if you can imagine how you would tear a manila envelope. I was like, I'm like cleaning my office up. I can't fathom that. I would never think to rip a manila envelope

from the government down the middle. It was, no, it's not from the government. It's like from, it's what my mother started in before I, like, got it from her eight, 10 years ago when I was like, I should have this at my house, you know? Like, oh, wow, the Georgia State Records Department really think they're the talk of the town. Not here. Not in Kyle's house. So now it's just torn in half, but it's like, it's like if you, it's so cleanly torn in half

that I feel like if I showed it to anybody, even in two pieces, they'd be like, oh, yeah, I see what you here. Like, they wouldn't think I was trying to trick them. Like, it's clear what it's going on. You can get some packing tape. Really be careful. You get the seal that back up, maybe. Maybe just photocopy it once it's taped together or something. I don't know. That's another thing is a bummer. Like, what do you say? A photocopied or a copy of your birth certificate, even when it says all the same shit, isn't used the same way. Like, you have to bring your original or you have to bring a copy of it with some supplementary. shit to show it's real. Even if it's the same thing and it's got a,

you can see the little ribbed, because I know my real one has that like seal where you can feel the texture on. Yeah. But I've just got that sitting in a safe. No idea when I'll use it next. I guess I'm a shelf back there behind me somewhere with all the rest of my like car. What is that

seal? Is that just a notary or is that like some state seal that's hard to replicate? It says like seal of the state of Missouri or something where it's got like the, our flag with like the bear on it or whatever. No, that's your state flag. Ours has a bear or some shit.

I don't know. That's exactly. Get me the seal of Missouri, Zach. Hmm. You know, you better be careful because you're going to be leaving Georgia looking for a state to move to the promised land. And if Missouri finds you mocking them, they're going to say nay. They're going to go.

You're not. You're top three candidate states, Kyle. It's Missouri's number one. We were looking at I've looked at houses and property there already and it's not only is it very affordable but Missouri has all

the things I like. It's a pretty I don't want to make fun of yours before I see my own but right out of the gate. Those bears are clearly gay. Why is there like a medieval knight's helm on top of it all? I think probably just for flavor.

It looks like something from sword in the stone. From sword and from feels kind of Narnia ask. It's the blue moon crescent thing, your respect for Muslims? I think that that might be our respect

for who is it? South Carolina. I don't know. I know they have the moon thing. There's 24 stars. What are those four? 24 stars. Is that what you said? 24 stars. All the states we like. I don't know. Was it the 24th?

state it feels about right like given its location in the country perhaps it could be it is it is is it is it's their uh it's their it's their admission into the union 24th yeah i thought maybe i guess that's the only thing that makes any sense i don't know what it was though interesting show me the seal of george oh get owned get on this looks official as hell yours looks like you had every third grader in the state send in a drawing for what we can do and they pick the worst one they could find. Mine looks official as shit. Do you think I realize that people in Georgia don't understand Latin? That's why they had to do whizdom, moderation, justice, and then have that little sordid faggot down there?

No, the sordid faggot is a revolutionary. It's a union soldier because in Georgia they know who their daddy is. That is a revolutionary war soldier, almost certainly. He has a cavalry type sword. And he has that cross thing and the silly hat. I'm calling that Revolutionary War guy. I like mine better. No, Missouri's seal is actually better. Oh, my gosh.

What is this? He doesn't rep North Carolina. It is old, though. I've lived to North Carolina in the longest, but I hear you. I connect to Jersey, too. Oh, are you? You're over the halfway point in your life, I guess. More time in NC than NJ?

Yeah. Yeah. You wouldn't count that if he was an illegal immigrant coming here, Taylor. So don't count it for him either. He was born where he was born. He's in a murray. Blood doesn't lie. I like, you know, actually, I like North Carolina and Missouri the most because they at least have some Latin on there.

George's looks like they just like used things that any third grader could understand to make tests easier and help their scores out. Am I not seeing the Latin? This one doesn't have it. This is New Jersey. I was saying North Carolina has a little Latin. Are those plows? In the middle, there's a, in the middle, there's sort of what I would describe as like an officer's bad. Those are plows.

There are three plows within it. Interesting. And they've got a little helmet up there too. Look at that. You've got the helmed guy. I feel like you copied us, Missouri. Okay. What are the two maidens represent?

Okay, obviously. Please don't laugh at me. Titch and pussy. No. So the one on the right has the cornucopia full of a great bounty. representing prosperity and the one on the left respect for Santa

represents the great slang of St. Nick upon which futures and things are that. And our freedom not to have our homes invaded by a bearded man with gifts. By magic men from the north. I don't know what that hat is indicative of but I do like that

there's something to absorb about this. It's pretty good. What I like about this exercise the most is the tremendous L for the state of Georgia. Like, that was pathetic. Really? Two colors, no Latin. They split up English words.

That's how little confidence they have in the literacy of the people of the state. You can't have any fucking Latin on there. All the real states have Latin. They don't say wisdom, responsibility. Wisdom is kind of funny. Friendly

Like Fucking gay as hell Did they run out of fucking printer ink That's why they had two colors on it Is that the problem Georgia couldn't spring For it

I mean clearly you missed the part where it You know Wisdom Justice And moderation We don't need any Moderation And moderate Asian

And mod or Asian Yeah Modder Asian See that's what we need here in the great state of Missouri, Kyle. If you move here, we don't want a Georgia American. We want a Missouri American. I wonder which of our three states has the worst

education system. I don't know. It depends. My money's on Jersey. I think Jersey's worst. Oh, I think Jersey's easily best. I bet Jersey smokes, but I was doing North Carolina for me. Let's do like fourth grade reading levels. Okay. I think that Missouri's

worst. Or excuse me, Jersey's worst, Missouri, and then George's best. What, what, like, who's studies, whose barometer of this? National fourth grade reading competency by state is, I would Google that. Our fantasy

commission says for him it's all about the friendships. Cute, Kevin, but I disagree. Like with about 365, I get paid the second my team goes up big with early payout and can cash out at any time before the game ends. No hard feelings, Kevin.

faster payouts from Bet365. The home of winning early. Must be 19 and older. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you were someone you know is concerns about gambling, visit connectsontario.ca or call 1866 5 through 1,2,600. Terms and conditions apply.

What does a sunny getaway with Air Canada sound like? Sunny Jamaica moves to its own rhythm. Rio comes alive, long after the sun goes down. Philippines slows everything down. And just when you think you've heard it all, there's sunny Lima. However you imagine your sunny escape, Air Canada can take you there. Book hot fares and vacation packages today.

Nice travels. Let's see. Because I think that tells us what's coming around the horizon. Let's see here. What are the two letters from Missouri? M.O. M.O. Right.

Ah, okay. So it looks like of our states, New Jersey, where is NJ? So anything above 276 is proficient. Missouri has 266. It's adult literacy. Is this not better? Then, no. Well, you see the numbers. That's why you know it's not better. I didn't look at the numbers. It just wasn't. Missouri wins this because Missouri is ahead of New Jersey, which is ahead of, there no Missouri is ahead of North Carolina which is ahead of New Jersey which is ahead of Georgia what yeah Missouri 266 New Jersey or I'm sorry North Carolina 265.5 basically close enough New Jersey 250 whatever and then Georgia was 250 right I so here's what I found and it's the 2024 NAEP fourth grade reading results nationwide state by state that's what I wanted. Jersey first, Carolina second, Missouri 3rd, Georgia

4th. Damn. Wait, bring the map up you just, bring the map up you just had, Zach, because that shows a different tail. It's just a different tail of the tape. Where, let's let's see, let's see which of our states are

green in the U.S. below a fifth grade level of literacy. Oh, this is for adult literacy. Percentage of the population of each state that has below a fifth grade level of literacy. Damn. This is all alarming, but...

That's way too many. It is. But also, oh, wait, there is a source here. The National Center for Education Statistics, National Assessment of Adult Literacy. This feels like bullshit. Am I alone in thinking that this is not a real source, not a real organization?

The National Center for Educational Statistics? That's just people making alarming statistics as a hobby, right? This isn't like the Department of Education or SAT scores or anything like that. Actually, the National Center for Educational Statistics, since 1867, it has been the Federal Statistic Agency responsible for collecting, analyzing, and reporting data on the condition of the U.S. educational system. And let's take a quick pause here. I didn't know that.

In his defense, he did not know that. I mean, this is just the map again, Kyle. But it's Missouri on top. And then I would guess New Jersey and then North Carolina and then Georgia. But Georgia, North Carolina and Jersey are all in the orange category. Missouri is the only one in the green. None of us are in the coveted blue. So the thing that throws these numbers off and I was counting on would be immigration.

And I guess we just have more immigration here. That's why California is like that. It's not because Californians are stupid. It's because they have an enormous amount of people there that don't speak English. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and we gauge literacy based on English because we're an English-speaking country. So it is important.

But another dub for Missouri. For North Carolina and New Jersey. And what I want to stress here, Woody, is an L for Georgia. A rare L for Georgia. Meanwhile, for Mizzou, it's going to be loss after loss. It's going to be three Ls in a row, right? It's probably going to be four. It's not going to be good.

Well, because we play you guys four or five games from now, something like that. I wasn't going to say that one was predetermined, you know. It's 100% predetermined. We'll be lucky to keep it within three scores. It's going to be rough. Because I don't think that our top offensive running back is recovering from that gunshot very quickly. I don't think we're going to have him. And like you said, he was the second.

He was the second best rusher in all of college football. year. He was. Hardy was tremendous. And now he got shot in the fucking leg and we're losing the Mississippi State. And they're now saying, oh, Mississippi State's pretty good, which actually seems fair. I think their quarterback is their quarterback angling for a high. So he's, he's, he's in the lead for the Heisman thing for sure. Everybody's talking about him. Nick Saban on the, the morning show, whatever it is, college game day was like, everybody's going to be looking for that young man in the transfer portal. He's going somewhere. They're going to get him. And they asked him about it. He's like, I don't like hearing stuff like that.

I bleak crimson and white. I'm here to finish this thing. He's like talking up how much he loves his school, how he's not going anywhere. I hope so. I loved like the way he talked about his school. I hope he sticks with Mississippi State, even though they're the other bulldogs.

I didn't even know they were the bulldogs. They are. Yeah. There can only be one. You guys are like Highlander. Yeah, there's a lot of good teams this year. It's going to be fun. I'm fully invested in the bulldogs this year. I think we can go all the way.

We definitely have a team that can win the national title. There's four or five teams, and we're one of them. Yeah. No, we are not. If we can finish in the top 25, that would be neat. I think Missou will finish. I read that Missou has not lost to an unranked opponent. They're like in the last five years, maybe six, seven years,

they're undefeated against unranked opponents. But then against ranked opponents, like, it's just a fucking coin flip. We're getting either blown out or keeping it close. And it's like, this sucks. Like we really do belong in like spot 20 to 25 where it's like they put us against Duke. We win every time. They put us against fucking LSU.

The zoo hangs their hat on like the, well, we kept it within one. I'm over here thinking things like if NC State wins every game for the rest of the year, not sure we make the playoffs NC State would deserve it more than fucking Miami I know we were looking at their schedule and it was almost alarming like I think NC State has a I think you've told me they have a semi difficult

schedule it's a very difficult schedule yeah like definitely way harder than what Miami's playing Miami's schedule is the most candy who the state is no offense you know they're not like perennial powerhouse like yeah if Texas had that schedule you wouldn't.

Their schedule got a little easier if such a thing exists. I remember there being a few ranked teams in their future. None of those teams are currently ranked. Mizzou won't be ranked after this week. No, they're going to lose to Florida by fucking 52. Yeah. Unless there's a miraculous recovery from his gunshot. I don't think that one player is going to help you against Florida.

They looked real tough. That crowd looked like a problem. We play them at a neutral territory. I think it's in Florida, but it's northern Florida. I think it's Tallahassee, but I'm not sure. That's going to be a loud fucking game. Watching them play the other day, they were, as soon as the game came on,

like I was maybe five minutes into the game, and I wrote you guys, I was like, Florida looks pumped, this is a problem. They really did. The players were all bouncing and like freaking out, and like nothing had happened yet. I was, oh no. And the crowd was like,

like the crowd was incredibly loud and like yeah they were like they were like urchai they were they were smashing out you could sense there was like a different energy there they meant business yeah is that the team that still just from the period you grew up in when you see florida get a little like scary and good you're like not again

no Florida is our number one enemy for sure our biggest rival for sure if you google like who's uGA's biggest rival. I guarantee it says Florida. And it's not just the Tim Debo stuff or those three years where he trounced everybody. It's a

generational thing that just don't like Florida. Don't like Florida very much. It's very intense game. Don't like those people. I see people rocking that shit here. And like that's the only thing. Usually if I see somebody wearing like a Bruins jersey or something like like who, why would I care or a Yankee jersey or whatever?

We don't even have a team. You know, when I see Florida gear, I'm like I'm annoyed. Like if I were in the service industry and I dealt with somebody in Florida gear, I'd do something to them. You know what I mean? It's that level.

I think you have the seeds, the potential to be a Philly fan. You're not all the way there yet. But when you started hating the enemy, you know, and burning their food. Are you saving batteries yet? If I've been born in Philly,

I've been one of the boys, all right? I'd have been banned it from, I'd be short of fake mustaches and stuff just to get in at this point. I'd be a legend there. Because I would take things too far. I love that Philly fan is unapologetically criminal about their fandom. It's like, yeah, we assault people here. What of it? You're the one who came here in a Cowboys jersey? What do you think was going to happen?

You know, it's not like with Flyers fans, like I don't dislike the Flyers at all. like what do you know this in sports like how different conferences will have teams they just get along with behind closed doors and trade with a lot like everyone else this was years ago in r slash hockey would be like these philly fans are fucking shitheads and the one western conference team that would all their fans would be like no you guys are just being weird we're the blues because the st louis and philly have an excellent trading relationship between the teams and there was a while there where we were both hated because the blues were known to be pretty dirty and played very dirty. And, you know, that's how, that's honestly kind of the cycle is, like, Philly's been super dirty and then St. Louis become super dirty. I prefer tough. I was going to tell the same story, though. Like, like, we both have a similar philosophy that, like, you know, hockey games are easier to win when your enemy's a little bit scared. Yeah. They should, they should be fearful that maybe one of those checks will hit him in the jaw, squeeze it so much. And we'll go, what was that guy's name? Rowanick?

Roanick? Jeremy Roanick? Yeah. Jeremy Roanick. Dude, fucking smash that guy's face and we had two jaws. That's what happens

if you come to Philly and you fuck around. And we just want everyone to be a little scared. That could be you. He was fucking around, by the way. I have to know the story.

He was trying to win against us. They were trying to score more than they had. Did he try to put the puck in the net or something? Right. And I remember the Philly fans were like one of the few teams that were being cool. when we were beating the shit out of the Bruins, literally beating the shit out of them

and kind of, I'll say, hard-nosed style hockey. Did you have that tall, blonde defenseman with a good shot? Brett. Perreco, yeah. It's not who I'm going for. He's a tough defenseman. Oh, Alan McKinnis, Chris Pronger. Chris Pronger is what I was thinking of.

Yeah. But I remember they were like all these retarded commenters in 2019 in R-slash hockey that were like, you know, I can't believe this, but the blues are playing. in such a way that it's actually making me feel bad for the Bruins. And like, it was only like blues fans and Montreal Canadiens fans and Philly fans who were like,

you guys are pussies. The Bruins have been bullying you for years. And the second, they get a taste of their own medicine from a bigger, tougher team. You're like going to bat for the Bruins. You guys are pussies. And like,

it was just Philly Montreal. I'm inspired right now. It was just Philly Montreal and St. Louis fans being like, now, you guys are gay. You know what we did? We brought bigger guys. And you know what we do is we'll slash your ankles and we're going to get away with it

because it's the Stanley Cup finals. And the Bruins were the Bruins licked somebody. Who did they lick? Was that St. Louis or was it a series earlier? Brad Marshan maybe? Oh, no, that wasn't against the blues. I think maybe that was against Montreal. I think it was maybe the series or two before they had you guys.

Same year though. Dude, he licked another man. and he went with air bud rules like it turns out there's no rules against licking people and I'm unbiased that was funny that was a funny thing to do

and I'm in favor of it. Yeah that was that guy wasn't shower fresh but he ended up where did you lick him hang on on the face on the face they were getting up in each other's

no no they were getting up in each other's Brad Marchand is one of the best players in the league and he's also a pest. A pest is a type of player who's trying to coax the other team into a penalty. He's the best pest in the league or he was because he was actually tremendous at the game. And so he and another player were like arguing face-to-face screaming. And he just like just licked the guy's face. And the other guy was like, we weren't, we weren't trying for this.

And then Brad skated off. But then he got his final comeuppance and a bunch of, a hatred from the Bruins because he was so demoralized in game seven against the blues because we were dominating them so hard in the Stanley Cup final that at the end of period one, he started skating off the ice before the period was over and fucked his team over because then our defenseman Alex Petrangelo skated in, did a little dipsy doodle dangle, scored, now we're winning two nothing going into the second period. And that was because of Brad Marshand.

Because his benton was weak. I think I hit him if he licked me. Yeah. Well, that is what he wants you to do. Yeah, he does want you to start it. You kind of give him two Ws if you do that. You know, this is the kind of coaching I need as a player. I'm going to make out with him.

I'm going to call his fucking bluff. I'm going in deep. I'm shoving my tongue in the back of this guy's throat. You might be onto something here. Yeah. That is not what he's trying to get. We're playing gay chicken now, and I'm going to win. And then another player would have to skid over and start trying to suck his dick

and that guy would get in trouble for third man in. As soon as I start making out with him, y'all skate over and start mock jerking off, like watching like you're enjoying it too. That'll throw them completely off. They won't know what to do. Dude, you need to watch more like mic'd up hockey stuff because like they have to get rid of all the horrible things they say. But there was this one like minor league guy who was going at maybe it was a Bruins player from a decade ago. and he was like, fuck you,

fuck you, bud. You know, come on, come out and fight me. Just a minor league guy got his first shot at the show, really trying to make a name for himself, show that he's useful. And the Bruins guy skated over and he's like,

yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you, bud? This is like fantasy camp for you. Where do you play again? You play for the Hershey Bears. Aren't they a minor league team?

Yeah, that's cute, bud, that's cute. You come out here and try and score. Oh, no, wait, you play six minutes a game.

Like, then that was like him ripping on it. That is like this. Quality chirping. Yeah, he called these. He said, this is fantasy camp for you, bud. I don't even know your name. Which is mean. Those Canadians. I saw Aaron Rogers do that to a tackle or somebody, somebody who just had hit him. They, they started, he started jawing at Aaron Rogers. He's like, I don't even know who you are. I don't even know who you are. That's the CTE. He gets back to his sideline. That's funny. He gets back to the sideline. He's like, I hit him with a line. You can't come back from.

He said, I know who he was. I said it to Rogers McGuinness over here. I told him I didn't know. I love Aaron Rogers. When you see that look in his eyes when he's on the percocets and he starts throwing bombs, we watched him win that game the other day. That was beautiful. I wanted the Bengals to win.

I was the only guy in that whole call who was rooting for Cincinnati. I like Joe Burrow. And also, this is like a Taylor thing. One of my friends is a Cincinnati fan, so I want things for him. Yeah. I want the boys. I was pulling for the Eagles in that game because I don't know anybody who cares about the Bears

because what he likes the Eagles? And I don't care about the Bears. I was hoping they'd win. Yeah, we had a rough one. Michael Vic after the dog stuff, that that was like, that was like a shitty organization. I was like, only a shitty organization

takes that guy and makes him their guy and stands behind him after the dog torture and murder and everything. That's always rubbed me wrong about Philly. The Eagles in particular. And then, like, I don't know. I like that Kelsey Guy played for him. He's lovable.

It's hard not to like him. But then, you know, they, I think Jalen Hertz played for Bama. Let me make sure. So there's another little you went into it with. You might be right. I thought he was from some tiny school. Yeah, he played for Alabama. I knew it.

Yeah. So I've always disliked him because of that, too. He did. It looks like he finished at Oklahoma. So those first two years were Bama, the second two years were Oklahoma on my screen. I don't like people who even live in Alabama. I don't care if you drove through it once. I don't like myself those two months at time.

Well, we should actually probably wrap because we've got to hang out just a few minutes. All right. P.K.N. 632. My regally goalie says he plays for the love of the game. You gave up six goals last week, Steve. maybe play to win, huh? Like with Bet365, I get paid the second my team goes up big with early payout

and can cash out at any time before the game ends. Come on, Steve, bet 365, the home of winning early. Must be 19 and older, Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you were someone you know is concerns about gambling, visit connectsontario.ca or call 1-8665-1-2,600. Terms and conditions apply.