Painkiller Already - PKN #67

Episode Date: December 3, 2015

This week on PKN...Taylor comes on the show.

And we're live. So, internet is steam or... I'm kind of curious about Kyle's girlfriend's crazy driving too. Oh, well, I was just saying that I've got to go on a road trip tomorrow that's 14 hours round trip and then be back for PKA. And I was just saying it would be nice if my girlfriend's driver's license weren't currently suspended because she could chip in on the driving. But, you know, 14 hours.

She could sleep in the seat next to you there's that as a service maybe I suppose but my truck's got got that really high console like really high and I don't know you'd have to be like really ass up in the window to make that happen so I guess it'll be an interesting trip the but yeah she got a bunch of you got like a super speeder ticket like over 22 miles per hour i was talking about literally sleeping are you talking about getting head while driving i'm really you you thought oh on the same page here no no woody was literally referencing the time when he slept in the passenger seat as i did a bunch of driving that's what's

going on there i got you now okay yeah i thought you were referencing getting like right she's a well you could service you that way and i was like oh okay roadhead that's what's going on there. I got you now. Okay. Yeah, I thought you were referencing getting like, she's like, well, you could service you that way. And I was like, oh, okay, roadhead. That's what he's talking about. Now we're on the same page. Okay. You have to tactically choose the middle console shape and size in the car you're taking before that's even an option. Sometimes you have grand plans, you get in there and it's like, well, this is just, there's no, there's no geometry to make this work. No, those bench seats are the, are ideal, but ideal, but not many new cars have those. So, before we kick the show off, we were

also talking about how the internet is terrible for your self-esteem, because no matter what you do, and sort of bring to show and tell to show the rest of the class, someone has not only done it better, but probably 10,000 people have.

But back in the old days, you didn't have to deal with that bullshit. If you lived in a small town or even a big town, you could be the best football player in a town of 30,000, 40,000 people, and that means something. You're a great football player. So you upload some clips that you throw in some long passes on the internet, and all of a sudden you see, well, there's a guy throwing 200-yard passes on here. Well, that's wind-assisted. That's not fair.

Well, he's a guy throwing 200-yard passes on here. Well, that's wind-assisted. That's not fair. Well, he's on a platform. And there's dozens of people that are better than you no matter what you do. That's the Wings of Redemption story. He did a video on this once. He's like – so part of Wings' sense of self-worth is wrapped up in being very good at video games. And he is very good at video games. But being insulated from the world, he literally thought he was the good at video games but being insulated from the world he literally thought he was the best at video games like i remember one time on pka he's like you know i'm widely

regarded as the best at every video game i play that's kind of that problem and uh but now that he's on youtube he understands that where he is he's's good. He's even very good. But the best? There's always someone out there crushing it. Over the years, he's come and gone out of that realization. Remember when he was telling Syndicate that he was better at zombies? That's crazy to us.

But then there are other times when he'll fully recognize, like, oh yeah, I've played with pro guys in multiplayer. Cod, and they're even better than him. Wayne's always hated zombies. He would never want to play with us. Like, ever. Did he ever even try it? I've never played zombies

with him. Yeah, I haven't either, I don't believe. Every time we'd ask, he would a resounding no. I don't think he liked it. I think his thing has always been about the competition and, like, beating another person. It's always been about beating the other person or and not being beaten by the other person so to play against zombies like That wouldn't be his thing. He wouldn't want to play but against a bunch of bots He wouldn't be interested in that not in a multiplayer setting. I don't think it's as simple as that

I mean loves fallout. It's not competitive. Oh, that's totally different though. That's an RPG He's living that world. He lives in Fallout right now. I watched his video. He's out there. He's playing survival mode. I just feel like he plays Dark Souls. Competitive, is it? No, it's different.

Those games are different. Oh, God. You say he only likes competitive games. In every example I bring up. I didn't say that. No, no, no. He loves all kinds of games. Not just...

But what he gets out of COD, his drive for Call of Duty, is all about beating another player and not being beaten by the other player. That's why he loves COD. I've never seen him play the campaign mode of Call of Duty either. He's beaten every campaign level on Veteran. Has he? Oh, that makes sense. He would play it on the hardest difficulty. Has he? Oh, that makes sense. He would play on the hardest

difficulty. He should write a book. Playing life on impossible. Life on impossible mode. I was in a call. It was me, Juistra, Bandero, Wings, and a couple other guys who all had caught early. And Wings was like, you know,

I play on veteran. And Juistra was like, you know, everyone in this call plays on veteran. You know? I get it. You play your games on the hardest level, and that's cool. Was that this Call of Duty? No, it was a couple of CODs ago. It was probably Black Ops.

It was probably Black Modern Warfare 2, I bet, is what it was. Yeah, it was a while ago. I go the opposite route with all the campaigns. Like, I will put it on veteran, because I'm like, well, yeah, I may as well try really hard, but then, like, 3 deaths in, I'm like, this is stupid, and I go all the way down to recruit, and I just clean up.

It's way more fun that way. I play on easy and have fun. I've only played COD on the hardest level, but I haven't played World at War, so I've only played COD on the hardest level, but I haven't played World at War. So I've heard that one's really tough. And one of the Black Ops, I think I accidentally downgraded a level.

I turned it off just to see how to beat it and then couldn't go back or something. I got mixed up. Before Black Ops 1 came out, I think, I was trying to get all the achievement points. So I went back to Call of Duty. I think I played Call of Duty 1. I think there was some way to get it on the Xbox or something.

But I definitely got Call of Duty 2, and I was trying to get all the achievement points from that. And I played it on the hardest difficulty up until one mission where you have to climb a wall and you're just in a war zone. It's just like holes in the ground and trenches. It's like trench warfare where you have to advance and you get one shot killed by these snipers who are just everywhere.

When that happened, I knew that there was just no point. I think I've beaten a few of them on the hardest, but not Call of Duty 2. That was awful. COD 2 multiplayer was fun. I liked it a lot. And the snipers were just retardedly good.

It was faster ADS into that scope than any Call of Duty since. People complained about Modern Warfare 2, but go to COD 2 and it's just immediate. It's a one-hit kill like anywhere. In the COD 2 and it's just immediate. There were rules. It's a one hit kill like anywhere.

In the COD 2 competitive scene, there were rules. You can only have one sniper on a team. Yeah, and it was so generous with the hit boxes because it had that horseshit oldie time sniper where it's like two lines here and one line in the middle and as long as you were anywhere in this big sphere of space

it just assumed a hit. It was like you were shooting a sniper bullet the size of a cannonball. I went back and played it somewhere between COD 4 and Modern Warfare 2, and I liked it a lot. It was kind of repopulated at that time, so that was fun.

I went on there like maybe three years ago. It might have been a little bit longer like three or four years ago and the people who are still on that game play for keeps there is not a single person on multiplayer COD 2 that will not push your shit in

on there like they know every none of those guys they all gave up at COD 2 when COD 4 came out they're like what the fuck is this frag times 3 I'm out this is the game for me me and these other nine guys are gonna hang out here for the next decade same map where you all on the rooftops you know and you jump around oh that was the only really good map is that it tanzia i think you're right tanzania tanzania i've been there no i can't pronounce it you've been to tanzania i have it. You've been to Tanzania? I have.

It was awful. And our tour guides were like, hey, just so you know, it's impolite to start asking about buying something and not actually fully buy it. So you have to fully buy everything you express an interest in. And we go to these stores and there's no prices on anything. And you're like, how much is this? Well, I guess I need it now. I wouldn't want to be rude of our dollars it was awful the tour guide i feel like he was corrupt like he started and he told us like some stories and stuff and then he just drugged the group by like store to store to store and i'm positive he was getting paid off to bring us around these stores.

And everyone wants to leave, but we're staying there for an hour and a half at a store. I'm like, what the fuck? I was mad. I was angry. That guy owned a syndicate of stores, and so he told you that bullshit etiquette thing so that when you went in there,

you were just feeding him money back. Or he's like a tour guide by day, senator by night, and just trying to boost a little bit of revenue in his shit country. My personal theory is he got a kickback. The stores were like, hey, I'll give you $100 if you bring your idiots to me. And then like twice a day, he brings the idiots around. Is it a crumb in Tanzania? Yeah. Are you serious? No serious no yeah I didn't

think so that you that was believable like thank you in Tanzania I have no fucking idea we'd have to what do you do anythingian accent it's a you know you know better than us this is my Tanzanian accent there you go they're up there wherever the fuck they are um so hey I I started watching Rick and Morty have either of you ever seen the show I watched the whole series I have seen them all ah I thought that I was the only one who'd seen it. I really like that show. I just started watching it. I think I watched eight episodes. Now, there's only two seasons, so you'll run out before you want to.

How can that be? They take a year and a half break. No spoilers. That was the second half. When you get to the last episode, you will like it, and you will be thirsty for the next one, and then you'll realize it's 18 months away.

From now? Yeah. 2017 is when the next one, and then you'll realize it's 18 months away. From now? Yeah. 2017 is when the next season comes. Bullshit. I know. Isn't it a great show? I like the whole cadence of the people speaking. I'm flying through these things.

I'm paying attention to something. I got to go back now. I wasted at least one. I was hoping. I did the same thing where I let him just play on Hulu or whatever I was watching on, I guess Hulu, and I kind of just was playing Catan with friends, letting them play through, and then I was like

glancing over like, this is really funny, and then I get through the end, and it's like, no, that can't be it. Well, fuck, I caught little jokes here and there, but I need to go back and re-watch the whole series. I've seen the whole thing like three times now. It's hard to get me into a new show, especially a new animated show So so I was kind of begrudgingly even playing it. I just always seen people talking about it

So I was like let's see what this is and like immediately. I loved it He's like he's dragging him out of bed in the middle of the night like literally dragging him like the kid is like no I can't anymore, and he's just like you gotta come And they get up and then all of a sudden they're in a fucking like hovercraft spaceship thing. And he's like, he's literally talking about dropping a thorium bomb on all of existence and wiping out the planet. And he's going to go pick this guy up, a girl. He's like, you guys are going to repopulate.

You're going to be like Adam. And she's going to be like your E. But don't worry. Because like, I'm not gonna try and mess with her anything she's all for you she's all for you that's and he's just hammered the whole time hold on what do you think about that morty i want to talk about more but i don't want to spoil anything there are certain traumatic things that happen in the show and I'm like can you believe they did that like this is this series

gets really fucked like it's fucked I can't believe that this is the storyline and they had like that infinite number of Mortys secured to the outside of that building constantly being tortured I thought that was season 2 is that earlier than I thought it was I guess

yeah it's like season 7 or it's episode 7 or 8 yeah and that like so basically like Morty's in pain shield them from finding Rick's so this guy has Morty's all over the place and then during the episode they're like it's really screwed up and he's like I know right it would only take like four mortys the rest are just for fun oh my god there are these dark dark turns has anyone died in your show yet um well the professor uh what's rick is really liberal with his ray gun i've noticed that like i feel like i i at first i felt like he'd be like stay back everyone but then all of a sudden he's just like bam bam bam bam like he just anytime they're in any small amount of trouble he just kills everything in in sight like horrible injuries uh like you said dark traumatic shit coming your way dude when his legs are all broken and like

bitten he has two knees you have to turn him on, Morty. They're not some fucking magic shoes. Your Rick is pretty good. I keep hoping Rick... I don't like how drunk he is. I get that it's part of the show and it's just... It's gross. And he belches during his speech all the time.

And I would like the show more if he were cleaned up a little bit. I want him to go worse. I want him to get drunker and more awful. The thing is, he's completely wasted all the time, but somehow he's able to constantly be making a machine that'll make your dog super intelligent

or space travel, time travel. He's like Doctor Who mixed with the professor or with Doc Brown. He's like Doctor Who mixed with the professor, or with Doc Brown. Doctor Who and Doctor Brown mixed together. I want him to do more good for the world. He's clearly capable of solving intergalactic, multidimensional problems.

He does, but they'll ask him to do things like, we need help with X, Y, and Z problem around the house. And he'll just throw something at them, whatever. And then he takes Rick on some adventure to do nothing like go to an intergalactic dave and busters and play games like and that's that's it and that's why it's great it's because he's just a hammered grandpa with no friends because he's such an asshole except for uh bird person bird person is his only friend and they just fuck around yeah bird person yeah i remember bird person now i like that it's i like that they're going i haven't i like that they're going on these adventures together i think that's what i enjoy i like seeing where they're going to

go next or what the new reality is going to be because they're going it's an entire interdimensional ship so it can go it it does time it does space and it does multiple dimensions so he can go anywhere and do anything yeah and they make fun of themselves the whole time doing it does space, and it does multiple dimensions. So he can go anywhere and do anything. And they make fun of themselves the whole time doing it. If something really doesn't make sense, don't ask questions, Morty. Early on in the first show, I forget what little problem he had to solve.

He's like, he needs a seed or something. He's like, yeah, so I solved it by making an interdimensional portal and going here and going there. And he just lays it all out. And you're like, holy shit, I'm in for a ride on this show. Yeah, and it looks so endearing with, like, Grandpa. Like, that's what kind of strikes you with it. It's like some shows like South Park.

Like, it's a cartoon. But I guess maybe because it's been around so long, it doesn't look like an innocent cartoon. So much of what, like, just the weird animation style. You know it's going to be kind of adult. Yeah, the cardboard just the weird animation style you know it's going to be kind of the cardboard cut out yeah you know that kids aren't watching that like this yeah it's kind of synonymous with a hardcore adult cartoon now when you look at rick and morty's animation style the first time if you just see a placard of it you'd be like all right that looks like a lovable grandpa taking his child on intergalactic adventures and then it starts

with him just bursting in blackoutout drunk to his grandson's room, just, we gotta go, we gotta go right now. Like, just pulling him out. He's like, oh, oh, Rick. You know, just... I like that, like, so on, like, the first journey, that happens, he drags him out of bed, and the kid has missed so much school,

and he's slept through so much school, and he's failing everything. And so they have to go on this journey to get these giant seeds. And in the end, the kid has to shove them up his ass. The grandma's like, I'm going to need you to shove these up your ass. I'm sorry. Real deep up there. Way up there, Morty.

That's actually all Morty was for in that episode. Like, you didn't have to bring him, except he needed a seed transporter. He needed his colon. I'm loose, Morty. They fall right out of me. They just fall right out of me. I forgot that. He's like, your rectum's still young and manipulable or something. I don't know.

It's young yet valuable. So, and they get back, and the parents are like, this is it. You've got to move out to the grandpa. You've got to leave. Like, no more adventures with you and our son. He's failing. And he's like, what's the square root of pi?

And the kid spits it out instantly. And he's like, how do you find the area of a hypotenuse? Blah, blah, blah. Spits out a bunch of technical jargon again. And he's like, see there? He's been hanging around with me. He doesn't need school. School's stupid. I'm teaching him everything he needs to know he's gonna be a scientist it's like me and they're like all right then you're gonna make our kid a genius you're

doing a good job so far and they like let it go and the kid's like wow really a genius dad's like oh no that's that's just temporary from those seeds i had to shove up your ass that's that's gonna wear off you're you going to be a real dummy. And you keep hoping that there's some, like, kernel of goodness inside Rick. Like, he's going to turn around. He's capable of such great things. And that guy's just a real asshole all the way through.

I don't know why you're hoping for him to be good. I have fun with every bit of being an asshole that he does. Yes. Where you expect the granddaughter, like, them to get to him eventually when they're trying to, like, throw off that episode where he's having, like, a big orgy constantly

and the grandson and the granddaughter are trying to get him to go back and he's, like, he takes a second and, like, pauses, you know, looks at him somberly like it's about to be a South Park learning curve moment. He's like,

whoa, whoa, whoa, why don't you just get out of here? Like, just get the fuck out. You know, I'm going to keep fucking this prostitute and you can all leave, you know? And then he yells at his granddaughter that one time and Morty's like, you shouldn't tell your own granddaughter to fuck off, Rick.

That's not cool. Like, and he doesn't care. I like it a lot. I'm going to watch some more tonight. I'm glad I checked that out. Have either of you watched? Oh, I've also been watching that Aziz Ansari show. And I got about three episodes in and I started liking it.

And now I've got like nine episodes in now and I do like it. I like Jessica Jones. I'm halfway through my third episode. Melissa's watching that. She seems to like it. Yeah. It's dirtier than I expected. Like, most of the Marvel ones are really kind of G-rated.

Even Daredevil, to me, is pretty G-rated. But, I mean... Really? I feel like it's the most... I thought it was the most violent thing Marvel had done thus far. Well, Jessica Jones fucks a lot. What does she do? She fucks a lot. I know she fucks a lot. What does she do? She fucks a lot.

I know she fucks a lot, but she's a detective who also is good at fighting. Yeah, she seems to specialize in catching people in adultery, but her job doesn't play, thus far, a major role in the show. There's a protagonist who has mind control, and in spite of the fact that she is a complete badass, as well as an associate of hers, she's very concerned about this mind control guy. And that's as far as I am.

Okay. And it's based in Hell's Kitchen, right alongside Daredevil. I think so. I'm saying it is. Yeah, yeah yeah it i mean it seems to be but she like i haven't seen any crossover stuff yet flash has a lot of crossover like i felt like the arrow was in every third episode have you guys watched that show where apparently like i've just seen it that you can watch it on amazon prime i know you guys have that it's like if the nazis won world war ii and I know you guys have that. It's like if the Nazis won World War II.

Kitty has watched all of that. Yeah, Kitty's watched it all and says it's really good. I should. It's an interesting premise. Yeah, what's it called? Something like A Man on the Hill or... The Watchtower or something. Man in the Watchtower? I don't know.

Really, really bad name for a series that seems enthralling. Like to be living in a post-world war ii world where the nazis won how do you think the economy is kyle i know that you've stated before that chancellor hitler would do great things um well yeah of course he would once he i mean he would crack right down on today's big banks you know that's for sure i just don't feel like i I've seen Germany really as an economic superpower. Why would he be so much better? Are you being sarcastic? They're the most successful country over there right now.

Germany? Yeah. Overwhelmingly. We would shit on them. We're Americans. At what? Economy. Economy.

So like GDP? Not by capita. Are you sure? That's true. Sounds right. I'm guessing, but I'm making an educated guess that the German GDP per capita has to be higher than ours. For now.

Until they go the way of letting a lot of people into their country that might not assimilate. The Germany per capita GDP is 46,000

and the American is 54,000. What's the gross national product uh i don't know is there hasn't gnp outdated from like the 90s i was just thinking of things i learned from intro to economics and so i thought i would throw that question out but there's fewer germans but right there's right so not only do we produce more per person but we have more people there's only 90 million germans i think there's once again educated guess here i think there's 90 million germans and i think there's around 330 million of us counting puerto rico i don't actually that's a pretty good estimate there's's 81 million Germans. Very good estimate.

Doesn't France, they're the most populous country in that region, aren't they? France is? I would guess no. I would guess that they're fewer French. Only 35 million. You raise your eyebrows. I really feel like he's cheating, but... I'm just guessing. He's not cheating because there are 67 million French.

See, there you go. Two out of three. That's not bad. Well, fuck. Alright. Gotta get this franchise back on track with these random guesses of the population. How many people are in Portugal? People? Is this a good show?

There's no people. They're not really people. Portugal. Portuguese are a proud people. i'm not i'm not sure 21 million next to spain 20 i like your guess but it's actually 10 10.4 million off by a factor of a lot so did you see that the uh that that turkey shot down the Russian fighter jet? Very interesting. And then the Russians send a search and rescue helicopter and fucking ISIS shoots that down? It's nice to see somebody else dirtying their hands in the water for once, right?

It used to be our shit that was always having this awful shit happen to it. $100 million planes falling down in the desert over some bullshit. It's nice to see them. Turkey's a NATO ally. So when Turkey's attacked, it's like England being attacked. It's a NATO ally. They weren't attacked, though. They were just tired of Russia being in their airspace.

And they had told them repeatedly, like, hey, get the fuck out of here. This is our airspace. And Russia was like, we're Russia. We're going to go ahead and do what we want to do. So there's some controversy on the airspace thing. Russia says says they weren't in the airspace turkey says they were um some i think it was an american official said they were actually in the airspace for two miles so it was seconds like yeah it is seconds yeah yeah they were in the airspace for two miles and by the way they had 10 warnings over five minutes so they were warning them when they weren't in the airspace for two miles. And by the way, they had ten warnings over five minutes.

So they were warning them when they weren't in the airspace. They had to, unless they just kept going back to the same two fucking miles, which you know they didn't. I wonder what they shot them with. I always wonder when modern aircraft from first world countries get shot down. What happened? So I guess these people were ethnically Turkey. They were in Syria,

but they were ethnically Turk. No, it was over. It was in Turkey, right? So they, I think the shooting down now. Okay.

So Russians, Russia's bombing people in Syria, but ethnically they're Turkey, Turk, and he's, I don't know what the fuck. Turkish. Turkish.

Thank you. So I'm going to try. I hope I have this right. It's all really new. It happened like today. But ethnically they're Turkish. So there's a certain bond between these particular Syrians and the Turkish people, right? In the same

way the Canadians are ethnically American, right? Well, they are American. Bad jokes. So anyway, the similar thing that happened just recently with Russia, right? There are people outside of Russia in like the Ukraine or Crimea or whatever that were ethnically Russian that they kind of like, what is it called when they annex it?

Yeah, they annexed their land and protected them. Like the Russia, Russia brought in troops because in, I think it was Crimea, they were like rebelling or whatever. And Russia got involved and said, look, some of these people are ethnically Russian. Like they,

they're not in our country, but they kind of belong with us. You know, the borders just don't match the population. And they annexed that part of the country and protected them because they were ethnically Russian. Well, there's a similar thing going on in Turkey, if I understand this right. Mexico's been trying to do that Population and they annexed that part of the country and protected them because they were ethnically Russian

Well, there's a similar thing going on in Turkey if I understand this right Mexico's been trying to do that in Los Angeles for years Look around So if I understand right the reason Turkey was really so adamant about this is that the Russians were bombing people that were Ethnically Turkish and they felt an obligation to protect them, even though they're in Syria. They're their people. And Russia's like, this is ridiculous. It's a knife in the back, et cetera. But one might argue Russia did the same thing two years ago.

Do you think this is going to escalate very quickly? I don't think it will, but I'm scared it will. I mean, it feels like this is how World War III starts, right? No way. A NATO ally blows up Russia Russia you think Russia's gonna be like you know what free pass this one slides they probably won't they don't have a history of doing I'm pretty sure Turkey has an enormous army don't they is that this is my this is my fourth gander of the night my fourth guest of the night but I'm pretty sure that like it's one of those countries with the really big um like uh standing army is what i was looking for so largest standing armies

probably like china than the u.s uh it won't be uh we won't be in the top three or maybe china india i bet i i i think turkey's got a bunch it's gonna be some crazy country with a ton of people like bangladesh north korea has an enormous army oh do you have a link that you're looking at? I'm looking for one. No, I'm just... Pure speculation coming from inside the podcast. This is flowing right out of my brain, Woody.

I want to say two million. I will guess that North Korea's army is a million men and that Turkey's is somewhere probably close to that. North Korea has a huge standing army, but they don't have any good shit to equip them with, do they? Yeah.

For the most part? I don't know. Yeah, I don't think anybody really knows. So who are we looking at? Turkey? Turkey, yeah. So if you go by military budget, it's hard to tell because I don't have numbers next to them,

but Singapore, Taiwan. They are at, I guess, $10 billion. And Russia, by comparison, is $70 billion. And the United States is $580 billion. So, I don't know, $10 billion? They're right between Oman and Singapore, above Indonesia. $664,000 for Turkey. Yeah, I got $640,000.

The Russian Federation, $1,040,000. Number one is China with $2.2 million. Number two is US with $1.4 million. Oh, I found a big list here. Hang on, I'll link you. Wikipedia for rescue here korea so i would say turkey is not that awesome in terms of military strength unless you guys can provide a better source the eighth largest standing army in the world yep seventh on my list but that's still close

i did not expect egypt to round it out at 10 that's's odd. A lot of Egyptians. Yes, there are. Yeah. Yeah, eighth largest in the world, but about a third of Korea. Where the hell is Russia? About half of Russia. I don't know.

Yeah, you're probably right. It won't escalate, but if it were to escalate, what would we even do? We would back Turkey, I guess. With their NATO ally. Yeah. I feel you have to back Turkey. Do we?

Well, we said we would. What's the last thing Turkey did for us? Turkey's pretty shit. I feel like Turkey's one of those countries that's always working secretly against us somehow They're always working with our enemies. I feel like they they I Russia's got a bone to pick with them. I I heard Putin call them out for being Supporters of terrorism and I think they are fuck Turkey. I

Don't think you're wrong. Supporters of terrorism, what does that mean? Like their president is like yeah, just loving it, watching CNN masturbating to all this shit going down. No, I've seen – well, I think that in a similar way that Pakistan, for example, like allowed al-Qaeda to kind of operate within their borders freely. You know, they shielded Osama bin Laden for so many years. That's why we couldn't fucking find him. The Pakistanis had him hidden over there. In a similar way, I think that Turkey's probably doing a similar thing with ISIS. They're right on the border there.

I guarantee there are ISIS fighters moving freely across that border. Did you hear Al-Qaeda just struck a major blow against ISIS with a suicide bomber? What? Apparently in Iraq or Iran, I forget. Way too many letters in Chinese. It was Iraq. It was Iraq. And an Al-Qaeda guy with literally a suicide bomber with a vest and everything managed to get right next to the leaders of that particular little group of ISIS people.

And he just blew them all up with this suicide vest. He basically did to them what they do to like moms and children and stuff. Ooh, drama alert in their community. If they were in a, you know, terrorist reality show, that would be what happened right before they cut to break.

Watch it. You know, like what, what's the incentive there? Like Al Qaeda is like, we got know yeah we're we're militant too don't get us wrong but you guys gotta hedge your bets and cut back a little bit like you're making us all look like way bigger assholes than we're trying to be i think it's just a big power grab in the area like they say it's religious but to me the religion is just a recruiting tool and that it's really the same thing as every other war that's ever been fought. It's over money and power and such.

And Al-Qaeda probably just like, dude, ISIS is beating everyone here. Why don't we take a stab at them and maybe we'll fill the void. Isn't ISIS by far the largest now? Because they're like pretty much allied with Boko Haram. Yeah, isn't that crazy? Like a year ago, I think one of our politicians, an American politician, basically called ISIS the Al-Qaeda JV

team. That was Barack Obama. I'm going to check that. It couldn't have been Barack. You always fact check me. Yeah, well get some fucking facts right and I'll stop. Every one of my facts has been right. You should have to put a quarter in a jar every time I'm right. Every time I'm wrong, you get the quarters and every time I'll stop. Every one of my facts has been right. You should have to put a quarter in a jar every time I'm right

and I should get every time I'm wrong you get the quarters and every time I'm right at the end I get to get the quarters somehow. Yeah, every few months

there's a grand, you know, there's a quarter. Quarter come up. Barack Obama. I know things. So Obama kind of put his foot

in his mouth there. He literally called him the JV team. It was Obama. Why would you insult a group like that in that way, where then they, just like a team that just got beat their ass on the football field, they're watching the game tape and the coach is yelling at them. That's what they had on repeat on all their monitors in the ISIS labs.

In their locker room. Yeah. In the locker room. Some guy's pointing at it. You see what they call us? They don't take us serious. JV? At least we are second line varsity.

Yeah, Obama called on the JV team. It's a quarter. I have to agree to these terms. How many quarters did he lose on the populations? Two? The population thing, he got two quarters and lost one quarter. Why am I obligated to bet on everything? I don't know.

Every time Kyle says a thing that's not wrong, I owe him a quarter. like every time kyle says a thing that's not wrong i owe him a quarter yeah well and because of your fact fact checking you're always like ah let me look into this like i just said that like he said that like we should kill the cancer babies or something i am to have somebody fact checking them so we don't go off on a weird rabbit hole i've always thought that that we should have chiz not on the show but in the background as a fact checker and like when we have these conversations conversations instead of us like uh looking up information we just chiz what is the standing army of turkey like eight million eight million yeah yeah and we just keep flowing i every other show has that yeah like like

professional radio shows have that they got a guy back there figuring stuff out rush limbaugh's got somebody of retarded back there making him sound like he's like it must take a team of people to make rush limbaugh make sense on the he's always taking a pause what huh they're having to like slowly explain things to him howard stern's the same way actually he'll go off on some weird ignorant tangents where he has no fucking clue what uh uh what he's talking about and they'll have to slow him down and explain like who pootie pie is and why he should he should stop making fun of pootie pie right now because he's got a bigger audience than than you do i am one of my favorite obviously does have a bigger audience in subscribers really there's more people subscribe to poDiePie than XM radio? Yeah. Stern throws these numbers out there all the time.

I think when he signed on, there was like 800,000 subscribers or maybe a couple million tops. And now they're at 26 or 30 million, somewhere in there. Having said that, if PewDiePie subscribers had to pay, he'd probably have $50,000. Stern subscribers are paying a monthly fee of $10 or $20 or something, depending on how many vehicles. But not all of those subscribers are for Stern. A ton of people have XM radio just so they can listen to music without commercials and have way more variety for that. Yeah, that's true, too. I've got the package where you get Stern because I wouldn't want any other...

That's what I listen to. I'm going to put it on my truck in the morning so I can listen to it on my drive. I had XM for one month. The free one month. The month that Anthony Cumia got fired. I only wanted it for ONA. Then as soon as he got fired, I'm like, no, I'm not upping with this shit. What's the point now? They missed a potential $10 a month. Stern's so good. Stern is entertainment.

There's two channels of him, and it's on constantly, 24-7. So there's always something funny on there. And once you know, like, all the characters on this, it's like any other show, any other TV show or anything. Once you know all the characters, it's a lot more funny. Once you know their backstories and you get all the inside jokes, it's one of my favorite sources of entertainment now. Stern is really funny. I just liked

like ONA had a more of a revolving door with comedians, which I always wanted a lot more comedians on there. I think they're better at being off-the-cuff funny, but Stern is really hilarious in his own right. I just don't listen to him nearly as much, but he's good. That's why I like live streamers for this this show i don't know if it's turned out to be good

in reality but i have this notion that like if a guy live streams he can probably roll with the show really well yeah yeah because there's not a lot of um rhyme or reason to the show we just kind of go so it it's all kind of spontaneous i i think a lot of people think there's a lot of like heavily scripted like segmented moments but it's really just us talking most of the time who could possibly think that like who's out there like right here you can see Kyle glances to the left

his girlfriend is holding up a placard with all these things written on it cue cards yeah yeah oh what I don't like is they're like you know when Woody sets the topics a lot, that's when, you know, the show's not flowing. Woody should stop

setting the topics. No, motherfucker. I'm not shutting down topics to bring up something new to talk about. It's because the last one went cold. Throw something out there

and see if it starts a thing. You need someone to steer the ship. Yeah. It's much better now. But if you were to go back two years like if i was gone for 10 minutes everything oh come on we'd have me and wings would start having a talk then like you'd come back and be like what it what it what you gotta hear it you gotta hear this no i would come back and you'd be like, oh my god, we don't know what to do without Woody. That happened.

I believe you. But whenever you get wings bored and get him to start pontificating, you could get some interesting stuff oozing out of him in those moments. I like wings. I haven't caught his videos in a little while. I want to see what he's

up to. Check in with him. I saw to see what he's up to check in with him I saw that bizarre video he put up a while back that was just him talking about his neighbor who was sick talking about that no trespassing sign that his grandma had included the dead grandpa's name on and he cries like multiple

times in the video and that's the before that I hadn't seen one in a while but lately i've been watching the fallout stuff so yeah i saw the one with the no trespassing signs yeah i was i hate that was bizarre but and not every video is going to be the best video ever made but that one that one didn't do it for me i i felt like um that one was a little bizarre it had no point it wasn't about anything. He said there's a no trespassing sign

and I guess her mother put his father's name on it or grandmother put... Over at his grandma's house, there was a no trespassing sign on the trailer and it says no trespassing and then she signs her name at the bottom of it for some reason and then she

included her dead husband who's been passed away for many years Wing's grandfather his name there too and Wing sees this and he's like you see that and there's this whole build up where he doesn't give you his opinion about what you're looking at yet

he's like that means something right there and I'm like what does it mean that means a thing and he just keeps building it up and he's like this is means something right there. And I'm like, what does it mean? He's like, that means a thing. And he just keeps building it up. And he's like, this is a symbol. For like six minutes. Yeah, a while it feels like. And then he's just like, you know, she still puts his name on there.

And I'm just like, that's it? That's what's got you? And then the kicker at the end of the video is like, yeah, I don't even know what I'm talking about. Well, I know what happened. So here's what I think. I think that his hormones or his brain chemistry or something were a little out of whack at that moment

because he was behaving like a woman whose hormones are out of whack from birth control or something. And they're just really like, they'll cry. They'll see a dog food commercial and start crying like a baby. And it's like, what's going on? It's like, my hormones are all fucked crying like a baby and it's like what's going on my hormones are all fucked up and that's what it seemed like because it was something that was he cried about the sign

and really he was crying about you know thinking about you know his grandpa's gone he's not there anymore and you know grandma still loves him so much that she includes it and that was touching enough to like bring him to tears but then he cried again later in the video when he was like my neighbor lives over there one time he helped me set up a computer well these days he couldn't do that if you wanted to he's got cancer and i wish i could go over there and help him but

i can't and then he starts crying again and i was like these are sad things but these are the kind of sad things that are, like, so common in day-to-day adult life that, like, we should all be, like, not numb to those things, but adjusted to them so that we can still operate. I feel like his hormones were a little out of whack from his medication, and he was feeling very emotional that day.

I haven't seen the video, but I'm going to make one of those of my own. I'm going to go to the soda aisle at the local grocery store and just pan back and forth for a few minutes. See that? You notice what I'm seeing? You know what this means? Vanilla Coke isn't here. There is no more vanilla Coke.

I don't know if it's ever coming back. And when the McRib leaves this time, who knows? And it can come back again. They just openly weep in the soft drink aisle at the store. Do you partake of the McRib? Do you eat them? Have you had one? I've had one once, and it was just bad.

Never had one, Woody? Never had one. See, I feel like, I'm going to be honest honest here i'm glad none of you have eaten one i feel like it's white trash food and that that the kind of people who eat it are of a lower class well mark has had them what's that he's you know risky business taking shots at mcdonald's specialty that's a bold statement you might want to back down real white meat you know in case you're unaware there's a big cult following for this sandwich. There are lots of people who make a big deal out of it. There's a whole Simpsons episode devoted to it.

It's kind of a pop culture thing, but I don't know why. First of all, it's shaped like a miniature rack of ribs, but that's ground up meat formed into that. There's even a part that looks like there's a bone there. So when I was a kid, I would see that like as a, as a young kid, I'd be like,

does that sandwich have bones in it? Who would want that sandwich, the barbecue sandwich? You got to pick the bones out. And then like when I was, I don't know, 12, I realized,

but that shit ain't got no bones in there. That never was a rack of ribs. That was just ground up pig that they formed into the shape of some ribs that's a ground up pig patty that they that they're confusing us by making it look like a rack of ribs and they're putting barbie sweet barbecue sauce and onions on it and making it a big deal yeah so i think that is pork and sawdust in that shape and it is vile it is in the worse than the flavor i'd rather have one where there was it was years ago that i had one i didn't even finish it And it is vile. It is worse than the flavor. I'd rather have one where there was, it was years ago that I had one.

I didn't even finish it. It was so bad. But I'd rather have it without the sauce. The sauce is so sickly sweet that it makes your teeth hurt. I could feel the diabetes creeping in if I had to eat that sandwich. But it's beyond awful. I don't think those are real onions. I think that's onion-flavored cabbage, kind of like what white castle does that's what white castle does they

give you onion flavored cabbage that's not onions you know they need to cost could cost somewhere those nasty little patties wow i never knew that i don't like white castle either oh god you talk about white trash food white castle i don't don't know. Once a year. There's a difference. If you're drinking and you're with your bunch of friends and you go, where can we get 30 hamburgers for a buck? There's only one place. White Castle. They give you the first 10.

Yeah. And it really is like that. You see the commercials they used to have where the guy walks in with the briefcase and everybody's like, oh, that guy. The hero of the party. Bring in that. What was off on that party is that people didn't have their shirts off and lay in there at three in the morning

just tanked. Because when you walk in like that, you are the hero. It's a good feeling. I've never had... I don't think I've eaten at White Castle. I was once on a bus and the bus stop was White Castle. That ever counts. Yeah, Crystal's the same thing. I was once on a bus and the bus stop was White Castle that it recounts

yeah Crystal's the same thing what fried chicken place did I go to recently you don't have Rhodes there in Georgia I've been there it's something like Rhodes Sugar something is it like is there advertising red and orange

maybe we don't have them here but we have them up north of here Is their advertising red and orange, maybe? Yeah. Yeah, we don't have them here, but we have them up north of here. I'll probably go by one tomorrow, actually. Here we've got Popeyes, KFC, and I can't think of the other ones. Popeyes and KFC here, too.

Church's Chicken? Church's, yeah. We've got Church's, too. I've heard that's good. You have to go... The closest one to me is real... I think in downtown St. louis so it's kind of like an adventure when you go where it's like oh am i gonna get mugged i'm on my way to get chicken like you know did you see that i saw about downtown st louis reminded me obama stripping the police departments of their like tanks and

shit now are you guys familiar with this no oh yeah so it's it was a fallout of the ferguson thing and basically like there were these whatever protests riot etc a couple of the protesters were badly behaved so the police had to sort of respond in force well they responded with like real military equipment you know like kyle knows what they are better than me to me everything armored is a tank i don't know uh or some sort of armored personnel carrier but there was all kinds of like what was clearly military gear and military guns and sniper rifles and like you know like 50 cows and all sorts of things that you wouldn't think police would need and Obama made a list of things the police won't be getting from the US government anymore and now they're

giving them up it's just happening recently and the police department it's it's all over Fox News what if they're gonna be on the surplus market that's your first thought that's a good thought because if they're taken away from the cops, maybe I could get one. I want the one that was used in Ferguson. I need to know. I need to be able to match the serial number on there and know that that one oppressed some blacks in that northern St. Louis community. That's all the value to me. Now that the dust has settled, so coming out of Ferguson,

I guess I was a little emotional. It was like, yeah, police do not need to have this. When you make the police department a military, then the people become become the enemy battlestar galactica knowledge right there and but now that it's all said and done like should the police be stripped of these things i still think so i think they should be kept in a lot somewhere like not allowed to use them unless some sort of edict is handed down where it's like you can use it now like just in case but every little podunk town has a fucking SWAT team and like but I just don't feel like the PD needs

that shit I feel like it's really it's cool stuff like I like that stuff and the guys who are cops they think it's cool stuff too and they like it and they want to play with it so they put those order forms in for you know machine guns and and armor personnel carriers

and all that riot gear and some of it looks ridiculous when you see it when people across the country see you out there handling what is a pretty serious protest but you look like you're ready to go to Desert Storm 3. That's true.

You look way over prepared for what you've got going on. I feel like a couple of 12-gauge shotguns out there, some pump shotguns would make you look like what we consider to be a well-armed police officer. But when you're out there with your goggles and your SBRs and they're covered with attachments and you've all got your gloves with the Kevlar knuckles on them, I'm like, slow the fuck down.

Like, what happened to Andy Griffith? I want a better police force than that. It's scary. And it's scary to the population because we've got to live with those people. Yeah, relations would be better with police if they went to that Andy Griffith carrying the 38 special version of police.

Andy didn't carry a gun. Oh, well, you know, the look of that guy. Barney carried a gun, but he kept his bullet in his pocket. Smart. His bullet. The one ruffian who would come in. The shit would go down and Barney would be like,

put his bullet in there. And the first thing he would do every time is he would put his arm down and BANG! He'd shoot the ground immediately. That's why we don't give him the one bullet we don't let him it would always just immediately go off um i wasn't gonna say i don't know but kyle nailed it the kevlar gloves for the punching and the the goggles and the night vision and the fucking Kevlar military grade helmets, the whole thing. Oh, just recently, some guy in Congress or Senate, I don't even know,

but he was saying that now police say that whenever they step out of their car, there's like 12 people with their cell phones taking video of them. They don't want to step out of their car anymore. And it was real inflammatory. Some people were like, oh, you shouldn't be scared. to step out of their car anymore. And it was real inflammatory. Some people were like, you shouldn't be scared. Just step out of your car. And other people were like, you're not going to do your job because

of a cell phone video? You want to be held accountable? Yeah, right. And I just feel like I don't know. This is a horrible analogy, but when they wanted to put helmets on hockey players, they all hated them. They felt like if you put helmets on hockey players, they all hated them. They all,

they know we don't want this. They felt like if you put helmets on them, people would misbehave even more because they're protected. But over time, everyone wore helmets and now no one protests helmets because it is normal. They've had helmets ever since they were kids. Like they feel naked without their helmet. The same way that probably a lot of people feel naked without a seatbelt. This is how body cameras should be on cops, right? Every cop should just have a body camera. They got an issue two of them on their first day on the job. You fast forward 10, 15 years from now, they'll all have been wearing body cameras for so long that they'll be used to it. So on the way home, I listened to a conservative talk radio show during the day, or not show, but like channel.

So it's Rush Limbaugh comes on there. He is endlessly entertaining. Such a loony tune. And Sean Hannity comes on in the evenings, and there's someone in between. Sean Hannity's pretty fucking out there too. Well, Hannity was talking tonight about something about there was a black teenager shot and killed in Chicago recently. Maybe 14 years old, and he was shot 16 times. Or maybe he was 16 and shot 14 times.

I don't know which. But he said that the officer had been indicted, but that the video was going to be released tonight and that there were already planned protests on the streets of Chicago after the video was posted. So I don't know if that's happening yet. Is it on Twitter? No, I'm just going off what Sean Hannity told me this evening.

No, I mean yet. It's pretty shaky. If it were happening, it would be on Twitter right now, right? Oh, I don't know. Where did it happen in the country? Chicago. I bet it won't happen. You want to know why I say that?

Why? It's cold. You're damn right it's cold. What's the weather like there? It snowed two days ago here it's in the 30s here at night yeah i i feel like protesting like that is really a warm weather activity you know that's why you gotta start the fires get a couple of those uh pharmacies lit up and yeah if you trash i thought i was bad because i was lighting cars in my head like he probably

means barrels but i'm a little extreme no no. You burned down a nice hairdresser. CVS. See, that's what that guy did in Ferguson. He burnt down that fucking CVS. They arrested his ass, and they're making him pay. Yeah, they burnt down the McDonald's in Ferguson. My friend, I've mentioned this before on the show, he works in Ferguson there,

and he was so pissed because his his boss was like if you don't want to come to work tomorrow you don't have to no big deal this is at when it was all going down and he's like i'm gonna go in anyway just so i look good and so he went in he was one of the only people there and he's like and that mcdonald's that i eat lunch at most days they burned it down so i didn't get lunch they burned down the fucking mcdon It sucks, man. I've never had to deal... Modern Americans, I feel like, are really coddled. I feel like we don't have to deal with any of that harsh shit. Like just a generation or two ago that even Americans had to deal with,

but currently most of the rest of the world has to deal with. But the idea of someone coming and burning down the place I eat, that would never occur to me. I suppose there was a time when that could happen. know the indians could ride into town and burn down slippery pete's bar you never know but bring back the mcgrib all right i uh i i um i always like when there's i don't i decided not to say what I was going to say. Oh, now you have to. You were storming the hill and then decided not to plant your flag there.

You can learn from what I just did, Mr. Gamer Tag. I just dodged it. Go ahead, Kyle. Go ahead. I was about to throw up on myself. You were about to say Robin Williams wasn't funny. That's what just happened. You don't particularly enjoy Robin Williams' body of work either.

Just say it. Now that we know the poor man had that debilitating dementia that was going to take his mind very soon and his talent, it just seemed like we were a bit misguided. Just a little bit. Yeah, you know, it's funny. I'm okay with euthanasia. I just didn't want him to become a role model. Like, you know, I'm... It's funny. I'm okay with euthanasia. I just didn't want him to become a role model.

Like, oh, at times tough? Kill yourself. But everyone knows that story. But sometimes times are tough enough that I do advocate suicide, right? Like, if it gets bad enough, it's like, ah, this is fucked, right? Like, I'm out of here.

Like, you know, what if your family burns in a house fire and you're all scarred and you can only see out of one eye now? Like, it's time to go, right? Like, I'm out of here. Like, you know, what if your family burns in a house fire and you're all scarred and you can only see out of one eye now? Like, it's time to go, right? And what's the difference between suicide and euthanasia? Other than one of them is probably your insurance has to pay for. And the other one is just a little more cost effective. I don't know the difference, really. So when I think of euthanasia, I think of someone with a terminal disease.

Yeah. Yeah, you can't just go in there and be like god damn it yeah i didn't win mcdonald's monopoly again just pull the plug but well i mean i feel like at some point like you should be able to be like this isn't working out um but you were gonna type the thought that you didn't share I swear I won't say it. Oh, I don't I don't I'll tell you later. I don't I don't have like Typing town he doesn't even have copy paste town people. I was gonna say that Whole I'm Waiting on pins and needles. I know. FPS is typing. It's coming. It's coming. What is he going to say? It's not going to be as bad as I'd expect.

Oh, it's just the N-word over and over. I mean, what was the big deal? Oh, no. That, I think you could have gotten away with that. Yeah. Just to be, and, and continue. I really wish you shared that. I mean, it's good TV. I don't know what else to say.

It is, yeah. Do you ever watch Cops? I love Cops. It's one of the best shows on the air. It's still on the air after all this time. They have Cops Reloaded or something like that now. But the best episodes of Cops, I've said this before and I'll say it's one of the best shows on the air it's still on the air after all this time they have cops reloaded or something like that now but the best episodes of cops I've said this before and I'll say it again

are from the nightstick era okay whenever they got tasers and pepper spray it changed the dynamic of the show I mean now you get to see people get tasered and pepper sprayed but back in the day when shit got hard they just got that baton out and started whooping people I've seen them throw a baton at a guy's feet while he was fleeing and trip him up

like those were good cops episodes there's this one where this black guy he's enormous is like out of his mind on something naked in a barber shop and they've got to go in there and get him and there's no you better lay down you better better lay down. All right, tie him up. No, none of that. You got to go get him. And he's naked and covered in blood. And this is during the 80s when HIV was, in everybody's mind at least, very prevalent. So, like, everybody wants to go in there and fucking wrestle this guy in the broken glass in a barber shop,

which I'm sure is full of sharp objects. And he's hiding naked, covered in his own blood, but they do. And that's what made the old episodes of Cops good. You never knew. I remember a lot of them where the guys were just messed up out of their heads and the guy punches through a picket fence. That's a great episode. He's just walking down the sidewalk, maybe also naked.

Lots of naked guys. That's good stuff. Would you rather be a cop or a fireman? Fireman. Fireman. More respected in today's society and... Well, what kind of cop, right? Like, if I've got to wear a blue fucking uniform

and write traffic tickets, I don't want that. But if I could be some sort of... I would maybe get some sort of state police drug enforcement thing or something like that. Some job where I wear a suit, maybe, or at least don't wear a uniform. I get to dress casually and maybe I get to work

stuff I enjoy doing. You want to be an FBI agent. The requirements for that I think are extremely high. I'm pretty sure you've got to basically be a lawyer to be an FBI agent, which is how all law enforcement should be if you think about it.

It's a tall requirement. You have to pay them a lot. That's why Judge Dredd. There you go. That's a whole additional requirement of borderline invincibility that you've had. The suit and the gun and the motorcycle.

He's kitted out. He can handle anything. That's true. Yeah, a fireman would be way better, I think. Just people respect you more. You're a trained paramedic, and so most of your calls are saving lives anyway. You can spin that in anything. So many good party stories. I feel like you become a fireman if you want to be a hero.

You become a cop if you want to be a bully. Not that cut and dry, but I understand where you're coming from yeah yeah now i'm sure you know cops do some heroic stuff too and and everyone they're bullying typically is you know there's someone on the other you're bullying the bullies so i know at least two people that i went to school with like not all at the same time but two people that i did go to school with that trended towards not like big bullies like stealing your lunch money and pushing you in mud or something but they had those tendencies to be a bit of a dick and they're both cops now like of course that's just a very small sample size and i'm sure that they're you know i can add mine too

yeah same thing you can add your sample size but like that's like and the one i know someone who became a fireman too and he was always like mischievous for a while but was a lovable really nice guy and he wanted to help people. What drew him to that was the whole paramedic side of like, oh, so I'm not just going to get potentially burned up every day. A lot of it is like, oh, oh my god, Mrs. Smith fell in her tub and she's going to die if you don't get here right

away. And then they drive, not their giant fire engine, but just like a regular semi-squad car there and help people, which, I don't know, that seems better. Way better help people. I don't know. That seems better. Way better. Yeah, I wouldn't want to be the traffic ticket riding kind of cop, but I would like to be

the sort of investigative actually stopping bad guys kind of cop, if there's no other way to put it. I think that would be interesting. But I wouldn't want to be, especially around here, like in small towns and areas like

the fire departments are volunteer so like they're just doing it because they enjoy that shit like it's ridiculous they actually enjoy that shit I have never understood it

I knew some I went to school with people whose parents were into it and they'd have like the radios on all the time and like that's just silly I don't get that

like I don't want to fight the more i'm thinking about it we totally need cops right we totally there's rapists and murderers and even thieves and bad guys and bullies and whatnot you need cops to keep a population in line but that's not a job that appeals to me no like to defend cops go back like i do have a friend who became a cop who was always really cool and i was talking to him like he didn't become a cop in like a dangerous area down in the city he became a cop in a really safe suburb like i don't know 15 minutes from here and i was talking to him like so are you gonna move up you know maybe go to the east side or the north side maybe near berkeley or ferguson see if you can you know get some work up there help And he's like, no! No, I'm going to stay here for the next 30 years and then retire.

I'm going to pull over moms in their vans going seven over, throw them a warning, and then go get some food over at the fucking Chipotle. Like, that's my plan here. All right, well, honorable. You're going to have to stop one mugging maybe ever. Jimmy Quinlan's a cop cop and he's a really nice guy the ufc fighter we've had him on the show a couple times so that's a counter example too he's really good yeah most of them are good people they're just the worst that shine the brightest

because i mean they're they got all the media attention yeah of course i've got cop friends too i had nice guys i'm not against cops i've got cop friends, too. Nice guys. I'm not against cops. I've got cop friends. I do have cop friends. I've got three cop friends. That's enough, right? You're in a good... Yeah, that's enough. I mean, I'm not looking for any more cop friends. I don't go to, like, cop parties

where I'm the only non-cop friend. All of a sudden, nobody wants to hang around with me. I'm that guy with all the cop friends hanging around him all the time. And, I mean, God forbid I keep up with their cop music or cop lingo like oh man i'm just trying i'm a weekend way too many racial slurs to keep up with they're always coming up with new ones yep it's a car full of democrats yep is that one it is one yeah what are democrats black people oh okay uh ben carson there's one example. So that dude's leading.

No. He's not leading, but he's right behind Trump. No. He's real close. He slipped. He has fallen off. Really? Yeah, he's trending. So Trump's ahead of him by like 18 points or something, by a lot.

The next guy they're looking at to be behind Trump is Cruz. And that's an interesting thing. I'd prefer Cruz to Trump. Cruz is a bit of, like, I think they call him a wacko bird. And he's really conservative. You know the thing about Ben Carson that's made him slip, right? Well, he's not really a murderer or attempted murderer. Cruz to Carson, not Cruz to Trump.

Oh, all the jokes he was saying you mean are you alluding to the fact that he had said all that stuff about him being um you know kind of a rough customer back in the day and that yeah well apparently someone changed the station on the radio and he stabbed him and it hit him in the belt and it broke the knife which everyone says is like art like that happened subreddit material like if i tried to stab a guy in the belly my knife wouldn't break on his belt it's just horseshit something i don't know what happened but that's a lie and the whole story was weird because then he said it was a family member of his and now the family member doesn't want to talk about it uh but but i think what's making him slip is his own campaign came out and literally said that like he's having a real hard time absorbing foreign policy which means learning by the way he's having a hard time

understanding and learning foreign policy even though we're all foreign policy experts over here we literally hired that guy who's a fucking foreign policy expert and he's teaching him privately and he still can't pick it up well enough to even pretend to know something about foreign policy which is all that's required for that job. So a couple of things came out in this book, which turned out to be untrue. And like he said, he was like he had a conversation with a guy in the military and they offered him a full scholarship to West Point. A lot of people took offense to the full scholarship part. But in my opinion, whatever.

They don't call it a scholarship. You get a free. They pay you to go to West Point. I don't call it a scholarship you get a free they pay you to go to west point well i don't know if you guys know when you go to west point they give you money every week or something so to me that a free ride full scholarship paid it's all the same to me the point is it was never offered to him someone suggested that he should apply and and he stretched the truth there he lied about the knife and the belt thing most likely. This book is just, it's got a couple of those fibs in it. Everyone attacked him for it.

And then, of course, the foreign policy thing came through too. And it just seems like all the news about Carson is bad. And he's fallen in the polls by a lot. Good, because that guy was one of the worst candidates, I feel like, for what I want and what I think would be good for the country. And Trump is not at the bottom of that list. There's like four people that come before Trump, and Carly Fiorina is one of them.

A few of them slipped away, but that Kasich guy, he seemed like a real bad apple. I don't know, something about him always rubbed me the wrong way. I think you're picking on me. Yeah, of course. But Huckabee and Shithead from New Jersey just seems like a gangster. He seems like a gangster. He reminds me of one of the characters that Tony Soprano would bribe to get some Esplanade money or something, right?

Don't worry. Chris Christie's with us, guys. christie shit for arena's shit um i think ted cruz is some people will disagree rubio uh rubio's a regular republican politician to me like he's not great and he's not awful he's just you know he's sane establishment backed etc. Jeb Bush I don't like. But there were some real losers in the Republican thing, and I can't even think of them now. Scott Walker I strongly disliked. Who's the...

Oh, the Indian guy from Louisiana. That's Jindal. Jindal. Yeah. He dropped out. Yeah, he dropped out. Back to Louisiana. Smart.

Aziz Ansari. He comes up in the aziz anzari show and he's like i don't agree with a thing that guy says but i see a brown man out there doing stuff yeah that guy's funny ali azari can't say his name but he's great um i don't know republican thing it's it's wild and wacky but it feels like trump it's gonna win this thing oh i hope, it's wild and wacky, but it feels like Trump is going to win this thing. Oh, I hope so. It's going to be such a shit show. Can you believe it?

I'm so excited. Months ago, I was like, wouldn't it be great? Wouldn't it be great if he did, if he's the guy? If he's the guy that has to go on stage next to fucking Hillary Clinton. Oh, that would be so good. That would be so good. Hillary's going to kill him, though. Kill him?

He's going to call her fat. That would be so good. Hillary's going to kill him, though. Kill him? He's going to call her fat. That's all I want. I want him to reference, like, I want him to bring up, like, when she talks about women's issues, I want him to bring up Paula Jones and all those women that her husband assaulted all those years and then they quietened down. Just say no to cankles, right? That should be on a hat.

It might be. I would love that if he picked on her in the indignant way that he's picked on everyone else. That would be really good. But I see that Bernie Sanders is really close to her in New Hampshire. Oh. Maybe in New Hampshire. It's a tricky thing, if I understand this right. He's really close or leading in New Hampshire and Iowa

the first two states and the significance of that is that when you win those states you get a lot of media attention you're winning the race people will look at him differently now people like him but think he's a long shot if he gets a pair of wins out of the gate on this thing they might be more

inclined to vote for him thinking that he has a chance to win I really hope that he does win these two states. The socialist versus the capitalist. But there's another thing. Trump would beat Sanders. WWE could do better than this. The counterpoint. Trump would beat Sanders, but Trump will not beat Hillary.

There's a counterpoint, which is, those states are not winner-take-all, so even if he wins them, it'll be almost tied. And then Hillary starts to win the winner-take-all states, and that'll change. So here's the discussion we need to have. Can Trump beat Sanders on the national stage?

Sanders is such a feeble... Look at him in the Black Lives Matter. The debates matter. And Sanders seems to me like the kind of guy that Trump could shout over, who he could shout him down in those exchanges that might matter on stage. I feel like Trump has a shot at being the President of the United States now. Now that we've whittled away and whittled away and Bernie Sanders has actually done

what it looks like he might win, or at least he's going to be competitive enough that he'll get national news coverage on those channels that matter. The people who are the voters are the ones, the potential voters are the ones who are going to be watching that matter. The people who are the voters are the potential voters are the ones who are going to be watching that shit. It's going to have a big impression Sanders could beat Clinton because she's just, she seems like such a dirty politician. That's what I think of her.

The Nixon-JFK debate where everybody who watched it on TV thought that JFK destroyed and everybody who listened on the radio thought that Nixon destroyed because we watched it on TV and Nixon was all sweaty and like twitching too much but if you couldn't see the visuals his points made more sense so I'm he wasn't wearing makeup either and and JFK was regardless of whether it's on radio

or TV I think Trump takes that home because his presence is more like he's a bigger presence on the stage than feeble old. Oh, my God. Where's my my insurer? Like I didn't drink my pre-debate insurer. You know, I'm going to stay regular. That's what he's thinking. I think everything is going to shout him down. Every time Hillary talks, I like her less.

I mean, she's just some like they call her manufactured. But everything about her is just not endearing to me. I don't like her less i mean she's just some like they call her manufactured but everything about her is just not endearing to me i don't like her i think she's qualified and i might even vote for her but i don't like her i would never vote for hillary i don't want another clinton and i don't want another bush like it's getting ridiculous let's get a new name in there even if they suck trump trump he's gonna fucking do it he's gonna fucking do it! He's gonna fucking do it! Kyle, I don't vote, but if Woody decides to vote for the Democratic candidate, you and I need to go out and try and cancel that.

Alright? I'm gonna get a North Carolina address and register as quickly as possible, just to cancel your vote. Just change your car insurance over there real quick. I'm gonna get a fucking Trump bumper sticker. Look, so I'm just now visualizing this. All Trump has to do is stay the course and he'll be the Republican candidate because those other guys are just struggling, right?

Like they just are. The rest of them are weak as water. He's at like 30 percent and no one else is over like 17. He would have to fuck up badly. And most of his little faux pas that like that like a clinton or a bush would would it would just like tear them up for a week or two and they'd lose three points in the polls he just said that the muslims were cheering in new jersey on 9-11 nobody fucking cares carson said he agreed he saw the video it didn't happen yeah trump probably showed it to him on his

phone or something like like where did he see it that's really funny if he said that but but but like the the trump supporters don't care about they're like really well fuck new jersey too and chris christie like they don't need sources they don't chris christie was leading the charge out there like i saw governor chris christie piss on a bible oh my god like that i wouldn't be surprised. He makes stuff up in every debate. In every debate. And if you look at the way he structures sentences. Oh, ask me about anything. Is it raining? Oh, it's raining tremendously. All day it's been raining.

The rain has been tremendous. We're going to go out into that rain and we're going to do big things. Big things in the rain. It's going to be great. Great things out there in the rain. It's tremendous and we're going to be a part of it. Yeah, everything he says is the best thing ever or the worst thing ever. Like, oh, rain? It's absolutely horrible.

Since Obama's been president, we have had rain like you've never seen before. But me? I'm going to be great at the weather. I'm going to be the best at weather that any president has ever been. And you're just like, wait, can you be great at the military? He can. Yeah. I really hope that he gets it.

Just because I really hope he becomes president. It would just be so fucking funny. I went to private school, so I always considered myself to be part of the military. That's a fucking thing that he said. I own Behind Enemy Lines on DVD and Blu-ray. I watch it twice a week just to remind myself of the suffering of those soldiers. I've seen Enemy at the Gates, and I always thought of myself as a sniper.

As soon as VR goggles are available for that movie, I will be first in line to experience it firsthand. They're saying his net worth is $4.3 billion, which I thought was... Because he says it's $10, and I just feel like, all right, so $4.3, I can kind of get on board with, I guess.

He's so much richer than all the rest of them. Yes. I mean, I feel like he's qualified to evaluate his own wealth better than anyone, right? So, we'll call it to him. No. He's Donald Trump. He would know.

Clearly. No, I don't think so. Totally. You're a little mixed up here i don't think we should believe these outside sources when we got a man right there on ground zero telling us what he is worth 10 billion 10 billion is the number but we can see it happening right if i feel like this is one of those movies with time travel when like or like when when they like do a flashback and they're explaining like how something awful happened like in v for vendetta they're like it wasn't so hard to understand people got scared

I didn't know what to do It's like showing how the government slowly like got taken over and it became a fascist government ruled by ruled by that one guy St. Mary's disease was everywhere. The children was dead Like but and we're to be doing the same thing. Bernie Sanders was surging. We thought we'd get free health care and free schooling. Toward the end, they even promised us iPads. I wanted that iPad.

But he didn't win. Trump did. Emperor Trump. I feel like people downplay bernie sanders lies more or less because it seems like he really believes what he's saying where he's like we can achieve all this and only tax those top percent people when like just because like he may believe that really hard which is why it's harder to be like he's a bold-faced lie because he actually believes that trump it's easy to call out on lies i think because as he saying it, he's got a glint in his eye

where he's like, who's catching me? Y'all know, right? You guys, are you in on it? Like an SNL skit. Like he's Chevy Chase, like the smartest guy in the room. Just like, all right, Chevy. Yeah, he's like laughing at his own facts, like he's a bad improv comedian.

The thing about, I had a thing to say sanders the believing it the oh oh i feel like it's not so much sanders talent if you give sanders a mic for three minutes he's not going to tell you what he wants to do he's going to be like rich people bunch of cocksuckers right cocksuckers am i right on this dudeers, am I right on this? Dude, get this. Rich people are really, really rich. You might not know how rich. The top 1% has 98% of the wealth in this world. And the top 1% did this and that.

And the top 1% does something else. And those fuckers... Let's hand it off to the Black Lives Matter people. Yeah, don't you think they really suck? I think they really suck. Vote for me if you think rich people really suck. And that's his whole thing. Like, you know what i'll take their money and i'll buy you college i'll take their money and i'll buy you health care i'll take their money and i'll buy you something else um now i'm down for getting rid of you know some loopholes and such like that but uh yeah i just i feel like see it his whole platform, if you, if Bernie Sanders had a hat, right?

Trump wears a hat. It says, make America great again, right? If Bernie Sanders had a hat that he wore all the time, it would say, rich people are cocksuckers. That's his campaign platform. It, it, I don't know about that, but he doesn't seem to be very fond of the rich at all like I don't know nobody ever talks about how old this fucker is

he's too old I know why because when Hillary takes office no if Hillary takes office she'll be 69 if Trump takes office he'll be 70 if Bernie takes office he'll be 74 I feel like a office, he'll be 70. If Bernie takes office, he'll be 74. I feel like a 70-year-old can't throw stones at Bernie's age.

Oh, no, no, no. Not the contenders amongst themselves being like, you old bitch! What do you think you're doing? But people talking about him. The difference between a 70-year-old man and a 74-year-old man in terms of longevity, that's a pretty big difference yeah

one's got eight years left the other has four yeah exactly so it's like trump could get elected he'll probably be okay just based on averages most american men i'm pretty sure what's the average like 77 or so i don't know i looked at my own recently and they said i was going to live to 86 which is longer than i expected yeah i don't think it's that high, but that's risky business, electing someone that old. Well, I can't wait. This is going to be one of the most entertaining elections in a long, long time.

I always enjoy the election. It's just a mad house. It's so ridiculous. All that money gets spent on advertising and just blown out their asses, really. It's advertising money. All that money gets spent on advertising and just blown out the blown out their asses really you know it's advertising money all that money gets spent to just make one guy or one one person win and then one one side wins and one side loses and i love that i can't wait for the trump smear ads oh he's gonna be so i think trump can beat sanders and trump can make clinton look like a villain. Like by the time she's elected,

like I feel like Clinton doesn't have boxing gloves too. You're crazy. You think she's all smear Trump. That will be a mud slinging, knockout, drag out disaster of an election. He might spit on her. Yeah.

Like that. Those are the links that I feel like Donald Trump would go to. I feel like, like he just, he just like when they, when they got to shake hands before a debate, he might just spit in her face. I'm curious about Trump's. They need to do that UFC thing before a debate now where they get them both up there and they're shaking their head at each other. Right.

The forehead press thing. What if she messed his hair up? What if she was just like, ah, like fucked it up? He'd cold cock that. You don't know. So the Black Lives Matter people got like physically beaten by the crowd at Trump's thing. And Trump's like, ah, he deserved it. That's what he went with.

He said something like, you know, there were some people and, you know, they were peeing loud. And maybe they needed a little whooping. He said something like like you know there were some people and you know they were being loud and maybe they needed a little whooping he said something like that you know yeah i i read the the thing online it said something like you know it was a black person of course who was getting beaten and they mentioned four or five white men punches and kicks being being thrown i guess he was on the ground they really beat him pretty good i guess. I didn't see the beating, so I can't render an opinion on it. But I will say, stop trying to take over somebody's event and make

it your own. You're a cocksucker. Stop it. At least go to that weak-willed willow branch Bernie Sanders who will just have the mic available for you. Like, oh, I'm sorry. No, no, no. I have no pride. No, no, no. You come on up here. I'm sorry no no I have I have no pride no no you come on up here yeah I'm trying to you know endear myself to the audience but really I'm showing that I'm a little spineless

and I'll let people just trot all over me what will Putin do to Sanders he'll just walk up to him and just flick him right in the forehead go you're my bitch now Sanders you're my bitch and it's what I was saying that it wasn't an anti-Black Lives Matter thing. It's an anti-everyone who tries to take over an event. If I'm having a hockey game and you're trying to do White Lives Matter, stop it. Go to your own thing. These people aren't here for you. Would you beat them up?

Yes. You got your hockey gear on and everything. They've stormed the ice. They're at center ice. They've thrown down a rug so that they can stand, and one of them has a microphone, and the other one's holding an amp. It would start out politely because there'd be...

Hey, what are you doing here? You're trying to play a little bit of hockey. What's all this about? Do you do that thing with a stick where you rub the fiberglass into their thighs? Like, what do you do to them? Does that work? That doesn't work for me.

I've never... If you have an old stick with shards on it, it does. Yeah, you got to have your special stick for crippling the enemy. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe it's because in goal, they stand still right in front of you. Hand me the old stick.

Hand me Captain Splitters. I got a job to do. No, I don't think... Dude do I saw a Louis CK bit and it wasn't a bit it was from his show and he's there on a date and like 8 people from the high school football team come in and they're loud and they're rude

in like a diner environment and Louis CK I think it's a first date he's on is like hey guys can you be quiet, please? And they quiet down. Then one comes over. And it's great because the guy's like, huh, am I bothering you?

And he's like, yeah, you were. But he's being, like, polite and reasonable. He's like, that's why I asked you if you could, you know, be quieter. And they weren't being polite and reasonable he's like that's why i asked you if you could you know be quieter and they weren't being polite and reasonable and he goes to louis ck when's the last time you got your ass kicked and uh his knuckles are all bloody and everything he's like you see this this was from two days ago he's like i beat the fuck out of somebody his teeth came out you know i don't know happened. He probably went to the hospital. I just left him there. When's the last time you've had a

real ass kicking? And Louis C.K. is like, I've never had my ass kicked. He's like, because I'm thinking about kicking your ass. I'm thinking about kicking your ass right now. If you apologize, maybe I won't. Maybe I still will. It really depends on how well you apologize and if you ask me not

to kick your ass so Louis CK is like he's looking at the girl and the woman really and she's like you know like what do you do and he's like please don't kick my ass and the guy goes I'm not feeling it I don't kick my ass. And the guy goes, I'm not feeling it. I don't think you meant that. I feel like you're just saying that you don't want your ass kicked. Maybe I still should. And he goes, I get it. I get it.

You're younger. You're stronger. You could kick my ass. Please don't kick my ass. I don't want my ass kicked. I'm here on a date. That's what I want to do. And the guy's like, all right.

And then they all like laugh and dance out the diner. And it's like, what a fucking situation. There wasn't a good way out of that. He can't beat him up. He had a choice of either asking not to have his ass kicked or getting his ass kicked. Yeah, you go with getting your ass kicked. What's the guy going to do?

Yeah, I'm going to drag you out into the street. He's not going to beat the shit out of him in the diner. I mean, his hands, his knuckles were bloodied. So this guy is legitimately willing to do it. You know, and he just described the last guy was left with multiple teeth missing. Says him. Let's see how this one goes. Let's fight here at Applebee's, I guess.

I'm sorry you scraped your knees and your knuckles blowing your boyfriend outside on the concrete, but this is not the place for this. What you want to do in that situation is order the fajitas and hit him with that big fucking metal plate. But this is all fantasy I feel like give me 25 minutes The reality of it was he really only had two two choices he could get his ass kicked or cower Yeah, I feel like the there should be Patriot no defend him like there are people who can beat you up

You know like let's say that for in your case, it wasn't a high school kid. It wasn't a 32-year-old gigantic MMA fighter or something. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying you won't do it. You'll go to jail if you do. You're going to be in a lot of trouble if you do. Do it. I would love for you to do it because you're going to be in so much fucking trouble.

We're adults. You call his bluff. We're in a diner. You ever been to prison? You call on his bluff. Both hands, knuckles are all bloodied up from the last ass kicking he just gave and you're calling him bluff. That's going to look real good in court when we tell that part of the story. He was already bloody from the

last person he'd assaulted, your honor, before he got to my client. Like, it's not going to go well. You're going to prison. I remember you hearing everything he just said. Elderly couple, did you hear that as well? I'm just making sure. Everybody's on the same page here before this goes down.

I was in high school, and this guy wasn't my friend. I didn't even like him, but I spent too much time with him. And he got his ass kicked by a bunch of people. I'll just lay it out there. He got beat up by a bunch of black people because he was waiting in line and like this 12-year-old butt in front of him. He was maybe 17 or 18.

And he goes, fucking niggers, always cutting in line. That's what he said. So the kid goes out, tells all his cousins about this. And then when he goes to leave they beat the hell out of him they threw him into like magazine racks and chip stands and whatever and they broke his orbital bone um and uh he looked a mess and uh it went down in court and they owed him a lot of money you know like tens of thousands of dollars and And he always thought like, yeah, I've got some money coming to me. And his mother is like, no, you don't.

You will never get any money out of this. Those people are literally worth $18. He's like, where do you think this tens of thousands of dollars is coming from? You'll just never see it. And that, I feel like, is the situation that you're facing here with your imaginary guy you had underage defendants no they were in their 20s you said high school the no the plaintiff would have been in high school the people that beat him up were in their 20s well it just doesn't seem like what would happen in a normal scenario i feel like

if you've got like witnesses to someone assaulting another person, then they go to court and we find you guilty of assault and battery and you get punished. That is, and I've seen that episode and it's a white kid with nice clothes on. So those parents would be shelling out the money. That episode. Yeah. Yeah. He's still in high school. I think he has a varsity jacket on. Yeah. I don't know. I just saw it and I was like, I don't know what I do in that situation. That particular high high school kid I think I'd roll the dice and see if I could take him but let's assume that it's the situation

they're outlining is one in which you surely lose and I don't know it's like oh that fucking sucks oh you got your knife? you're stabbing with your knife my knife is not a good weapon I need my gun I hated that episode because Louis comes off as such a little bitch. Where it's like,

you know, there's nothing I could do. Like, yeah, there was. Exactly what Kyle and I were just talking about. Order the fajita and hit him with the frying pan? That's plan two. I feel like that totally would be ineffective. Assuming you're in a sure-lose situation, right? So in your case, let's make

the guy 240 pounds and muscular, right? Okay. I believe he grabs your wrist and hits you with the frying pan. No, it's not about frying pan. Like mid-swing? It's too hot. Like Batman? They even tell you not to grab onto it.

Let's do that to you. So what do you weigh, 170? 180, yeah. Okay, 180. So we'll back off 80 pounds and say, now you're doing it to a 110-pound person. Ah, different. You see, there's a bell curve. At some point you reach enough strength that I

can crack your skull open. I can kill Brock Lesnar with a fucking frying pan, right? I just gotta hit him with it. Brock Lesnar could pin me down and stick his dick in my mouth. Yes, he could. But if you hit him in the head... Alright, first of all, the fajitas come with a big block of wood underneath them. That thing

weighs like 12 pounds. This is a serious weapon we've got here. I feel like whether it's Brock Lesnar or Andre the Giant or 180 pound white male, their skull can't be... He doesn't have some alligator skull that's this thick. He's got a human fucking skull.

Just fucking hit him with a pan, right? I agree, yeah. There are enough weapons. You don't need a weapon. What you do is you just make a scene about how, you know, first of all, I would go the snarky bluff route about how I'd been in prison, and I wasn't afraid to go back, you know,

I done served my nickel! Like... Then, he will maybe rethink it, or you just, then you start to be like, I don't serve my nickel. Like that. Then he will maybe rethink it, or then you start to be like, all right, sir, over there at the bar, are you hearing this? Ma'am? Waitress? Waiter, what's your name, sir? Susan.

Susan, thank you so much. You're hearing all this, right? All right, I just wanted to get that. Could you go ahead and give the police a ring? I mean, just in case something were to go down, we wouldn't want to leave them out of the fun. I guess my next question is like. You'd be a real ostentatious asshole who keeps talking to keep them a little intimidated. If I don't apologize,

is he going to attack me as I'm seated there in the diner? Is that the next step? No, because nobody would do that. Because I can't see him doing that. I can't see him be like, oh, come here you, and attacking me right then and there. So is he promising some retribution in the parking lot when I go to leave because i can make a phone call and and there will be scary

people in the parking lot half an hour i've had that situation in hockey a lot i don't know if you have two merca but yeah people would be like you know i'll meet you on the way to your car fuck this hockey fight stuff i will kick your ass outside and i think no you won't you totally happened but nothing ever comes like they haven't zero percent of the time goalie oh okay one of my friends has been like not on a high school team like my my actual competitive team they'd be like fuck you man like we're gonna be waiting for you we know you drive the fucking x y and z we saw you pull up we're gonna be out there and then it's like everybody be like all right well everybody get undressed and then we're just gonna go ahead and walk out as a team and they just leave as like a team of 20 plus dudes all pretty good shape hockey players

not afraid of a ball and then there's like two shitheads by their car like oh man like yeah yeah i've had that situation too but my thing is like i just don't see like like especially in that diner scenario like i'm not going to apologize. If you want to attack me right here in the middle of Applebee's, we're just going to have to fight here in Applebee's, and I'm sure it's going to get broken up real quickly. Somebody's going to stop this. You're not just going to let us roll here in the middle of Applebee's forever.

At some point, someone's going to pull us apart, or someone's going to stop you, or whatever that means. And I am certainly not, if it's that scenario, like you said, some giant fucker who's going to just manhandle me and beat me like a child, I'm going to find some weapon there at the Applebee's, right? Like a glass ketchup bottle, a big mug, maybe a butter knife in the eye, I don't know. Plants of any tizers at him. Ha ha, I can get another one for $3.99. Joke's on you.

These chips have bottomless refills. Salsa in the eye. I don't know. I'm not going to apologize. If it's one of those meet you in the parking lot scenarios, I'll just call someone to meet them in the parking lot and

we'll do that. I'm just not going to apologize under any circumstances I mean I guess if it's like apologize like oh I guess I should have a gun apologize like the crazy route where it's like you know why I'm my big gun they call me the eel you know why as you're slathering like all of the liquids on the table on your monster all over your face. You want some? Oh, I've been fiending for a fight.

I've been fucking fiending. And now you're here. So much for the rest of your first date, but that's hilarious. Mayo. Then you turn. Are you ready to get out of here? You know why they call me the eel? Then you turn, are you ready to get out of here? They call me the eel.

All of my plans have the stipulation that they have to give me 90 seconds to talk. Let me tell you a little story about me alright we call it a show? yeah I think so alright PKN episode 67 bye everybody yeah