Painkiller Already - PKN #83

Episode Date: March 25, 2016

It's PKN time baby!

It started with your Trump talk. Oh, welcome to PKN episode 82. Oh, build a wall. Kyle, where did you get that shirt? I ordered it off Amazon. What was I going to say? Oh, should we just lead off with your attendance? Yeah, sure, sure. So, I guess it was Saturday night, and we were all kind of in like a group text

discussing the race and Donald Trump and all that stuff. And I was actually watching something about some of the shenanigans that go on at his rallies. And I've watched a lot of his rallies on TV, on YouTube and stuff. And if nothing else, they look very entertaining. And so I looked it up on my phone. I searched Donald Trump rally schedule.

And sure enough, there was one in Hickory, North Carolina on Monday, which was yesterday, speaking currently. And I texted Woody in the group. I was like, Woody, the next rally is Monday in Hickory, North Carolina. Let's go. And so Woody ran into some stuff. He wasn't able to attend, but I was bound and determined. As soon as I saw that, I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go. She said she was down, and I booked a hotel room in Hickory, North

Carolina for the night before the rally. We drove up there, and I guess I got to Hickory, North Carolina at 11 p.m., 11.30 p.m., something like that. And I went by the Lenore Ryan, I think I'm pronouncing that correctly, university where the rally was to be held. Because I wanted to get a look at this place and see just exactly where I needed to go, where I needed to park. I didn't want to be lost on a campus the day of. needed to go, where I needed to park. I didn't want to be lost on a campus the day of. So driving around and I look and there are some motherfuckers getting out of their vehicles with chairs and they're walking and it's 1130 p.m. They are getting in line for the Trump rally the next morning. The doors, according to the schedule, don't open till 7 a.m. Trump doesn't arrive till 10 a.m. That's what they said on the schedule. And these till 7 a.m trump doesn't arrive till 10 a.m that's what they

said on the schedule and these people are there the the night before at 11 30 p.m getting ready and i'm just like shit i planned on getting up early but these guys are not fucking around um so we went back to the hotel it was midnight 12 30 by the time we got to sleep and we woke up at 4 a.m um it takes a little while for her to do her hair and makeup and everything and30 by the time we got to sleep. And we woke up at 4 a.m. It takes a little while for her to do her hair and makeup and everything. And by the time we got to the university, it was about 520 a.m. There were already 75 to 100 people in line in front of me when I got in line in the darkness of night in a foggy, like early morning, a.m and they're there and so we just stood in line with our coffee uh and slowly the the line grew and it grew bigger and bigger and bigger and

we got closer and closer to the door despite the fact that no one was entering the line was condensing it was getting wider thicker and and everybody was getting along really well everybody was were like-minded individuals and what i found was there weren't that many like good old boys. It wasn't like that. Now, I certainly saw one guy with a ponytail and a Confederate hat on. I saw him there and he was very friendly. But I also saw like a big group of soccer moms with, you know, posters and pom-poms. And lots of like teenage girls were there.

There were lots of... If I could just add something this is an area of North Carolina where I would expect to find a lot of good old boys for whatever that's yeah it really wasn't it really wasn't like that and I know good old boys a lot of these people were dressed like their Sunday best a lot there were lots of suits and ties or their sundresses for the women guys were were wearing slacks and button-ups. That's not what you would expect, given watching the news recently. It's not what I expected.

And then the protesters started showing up, I'm going to say around 6 a.m. They weren't as high energy as us. They weren't prepared. And the first one walks by me, and he looked a lot like Frodo Baggins. He had the curly black hair, thin pale face, blue eyes, and he had four signs that he'd made at home. Anti-Trump signs. And he has to walk right past us. And someone did call him Frodo and tell him he wasn't going to find any rings here. But I mean, come on. That's not that mean. There was no cursing. There was no cursing. And I only heard the one jeer and a few

laughs. So he goes and stands. Was he walking by himself? Like just one guy with four signs? He was numero uno. He was the first guy on the scene. He had four posters, though. He was paired. The first hater. Yeah, the first hater.

And so he goes and stands at his designated place over there. And they're like literally in front of a church is where they are. And then we're kind of across the street in line to go into this big auditorium building. The building holds 1,500. They're going to let about 1,300 of us in. And then I guess the other 200 are like VIP and maybe just for safety. Who knows? So it's clearly, it's becoming quickly apparent that Woody needs to be here like right now,

not three hours from now, or he's not going to make it. So I texted him and told him. I was like, hey, man, this isn't going to work. If you left right now and you flew at the speed of sound, you'd still be like hundreds of people in the back. And sure enough, by the time – let me slow down. Then the news crews arrived, dozens of them, I'm going to say, about a dozen. Cameramen and news crews walking around interviewing people. At this point, how much time has gone by?

Like, this is still morning, like 6? There were news crews at 6 a.m. And they were in full force when the sun came up around 7 a.m., 7.30 a.m., I'm going to guess. I don't know. I was there all day. And just standing there in that one spot. And lots of news crews. They kept interviewing the dumbest of the dumb. I'm going to say. I don't know. I was there all day. And just standing there in that one spot. And lots of news crews. They kept interviewing the dumbest of the dumb.

I'm going to say it. They really did. They picked him out on purpose. I watched it happen. The one guy, like, we had already singled him out as a dummy. Like, he was the one who was so fat that he couldn't stand in line. He was the one literally lying in the gutter. And he's the one that they get to interview. He had some sort of illness

where his whole head was all scabbed up and dry and he had cotton balls shoved in his ear canal so they wouldn't leak. His hands were splotched with some sort of awful discoloration. And that's why I didn't offer to help the man out of the gutter. Leaky ears?

That sounds like something you would get in the 14th century if you spent too much time on a boat. Yeah, leaky ears. Scurvy, leaky ear, that sort of thing. You know what comes along when you don't get enough fruit, no vitamin C out there on the high seas. But this motherfucker, he's over there and he gets done with his interview and I can hear him calling everyone in his flip phone. I'm on Channel 9! Hell yeah, check it out, I told them! Can't stump the Trump! Can't stump the Trump! Hell yeah! Check it out! I told them! Can't stump the Trump! Can't stump the Trump! Hell yeah!

And then another, another, Mama! You know, just, that's the guy they pick. Nonetheless, the line... They always do that on both sides. He's the most entertaining guy. On the Trump side, they'll pick this crazy good old boy, and then if they go to, like, Occupy Wall Street, they search around for that, you know, dreadlock,

smells like pot, hasn't showered in six weeks hippie like they always do that so the line continues to build and the Sun is up now there's more news crews everybody from you know all the local affiliates and even the weather channel was there someone was like what's the weather channel doing here they're like they heard Trump taking the nation by storm that's a good line that's a good. That's a clever guy right there. He's funny.

And they start handing out posters. Everybody's getting Trump posters out. They got signs that say Hillary, and they capitalize, like all caps, the liar in the word Hillary. Stuff like that. Lots of that. And they get word to us

because the doors should have opened by now. The doors were supposed to open at 7 a.m. And it's like 745. And we're like, what the fuck? So the lady comes out. She yells, you know, they're going to let you in at 8 a.m. Letting us in around 8 a.m. Everybody, you know, okay, all right, fine.

So 8 comes and goes. And the line continues to build. Now they formed a new line. Do you have chairs? No. Oh, no. I'd have brought chairs. I was so high energy. I just didn't need one.

I like to tell the story in a high energy way. I feel like we're building up to a battle almost. We are. So the line continues to build thicker and wider and longer to the point where they have an issue that the line can't go anymore. That's what happens to Mike Johnson. It's incredible.

The line gets thicker and wider and longer to the point where you can't put any more people behind those people. That's how far back they are. So they start a new line around a church in a neighboring parking lot. It's so foggy I can barely see them. It's like in Lord of the Rings when you're peering through the storm and you see just how many Uruk-hai are coming. It was like that because when the fog separates, it's clear that there are now 5,000 people waiting in line for a room that holds 1,200.

So many people showed up that reality started lagging. They couldn't even load them all in there. They were shutter-stopping in line. They were clipping into news trucks. It was bad. And so it's really foggy, really, really thick fog. And so you really can't make out everything that's going on. I kind of peer through the darkness, and I can see the protesters over there.

And there's more and more of them, 10 now, 20 now, 30. Now it's 50 of them. Now there's 60, and it's almost time to go in. And finally, you hear the cheer from the front. Woo! And the doors have come open, and they start letting us know. Keep in mind, there is a barricade of police officers. They've built steel fences to funnel the flow in.

Do you feel like you're losing your spot in line? Because as I hear it get wider and thicker and longer, like it... It was... Everybody there knew what was up. There people who would like walk away we had been there for so long that these are your line mates now there's a community that's formed you know the 10 people in front of you and the 10 people behind you like i've been staring at that woman's big fucking fat ass shoved in those khakis since the break of dawn is it what and it was good fat ass or bad fat ass? Oh, real good.

She ever did that thing where she grabbed each side and did that wiggle and pulled, and her whole ass is just gong, gong. It was a big, fat, white ass. It was extreme. She wasn't a pretty lady, but I'm standing there in line for five hours. You were behind her in line.

I need something to stare at. Sometimes, even if the whole package isn't right, you can just focus on your favorite part of it. focused on yes because that's what was pointed at me so no there was no there was none of that i never felt that way at all the people in front of me um like you know who would leave the people who were behind me who would leave they'd never like try to get a few in head ahead there were people who tried to cut and they were sent to the back um really because that's what that group of people is like as an aggregate honest hard working what do you think would have happened if i had shown up a few hours late and said this is kyle my friend he's holding a

spot for me i'm trying to think who was be tight and awkward someone would probably say something because that is douchey. Is it? Yeah, it is. Because there's somebody way, way back there who's been there way longer. I think one of the cops might have said something, because they wouldn't even let you approach where my part of the line was at that point. Anyone who was coming to get in line had to go to another place, and that kind of prevented that. They had formed the new line behind the church that went on

into the fog, and that's where you queued at. So anyone who was walking up to me would have been met by, like, someone asking what they were doing there. They had VIP badge, press badges, that sort of thing. I'm with Taylor. I think it's douchey. The exception is family. If you're like, this is my

wife, this is my mom, this is my daughter, then I don't separate family. Yeah. Yeah. I see that. Especially if you're younger. Maybe so. We probably could have sold it, but it could have been an issue.

So they yell at us. We hear the screams. The doors have opened. They start letting us know, take everything out of your pockets. There are no weapons allowed, no knives, no tasers, no pepper spray, nothing sharp of any kind, etc., etc. And so it's airport style. So I get everything out of my pockets.

And the line moves rather quickly through the metal detectors. They're doing the wand, pat, and frisk, and you just move along. And I tell my girlfriend, because we both had to piss really bad, because we've been there all morning and we started with full coffees. I was like, we don't have time to go to the bathroom. Rush the auditorium, we'll get our seats, and then we'll go one at a time. And so we do that. We get in there.

They screen us and everything. We rush down the auditorium, and I'm in the sixth row. I'm sixth row back, left side of the auditorium. I can hit the chairs that Trump is going to be sitting in with his shoe. I mean, it's right there. With the what? A shoe. Remember when the guy threw the shoe at George W.?

Yeah. That's in the back of my head. I'm not considering it. It's a good metric to measure by. I like it. How far can he throw a shoe? Length of a room, basically. Shoes throw away, as you say. He's the length of a room away from me, virtually. Or he's going to be.

And so, we get in our chairs. The room slowly fills in more and more and more. Pretty orderly fashion. There was one old lady who refused to like, you know, when you're filling up an auditorium, they're like, alright, go to the end, you know, end of the row. And she's like, I can't see from down there. And it was like, too fucking bad, like end of the row. But more or less, everybody queued in, we all got in our places.

And a lot of time went by. I don't know how much time, but maybe an hour, maybe two hours of just sitting there and just listening to the four songs that they played over the loudspeaker over and over. They had four songs. Can you name them? It was Elton John.

What was it? It's going to be too boring to go into. But just four random. One of them was Pavarotti. So it's in Italian. And it's going to be too boring to go into but just four random one of them was Pavarotti so it's an Italian and it's just I would not have liked that why would they play that that was my favorite

of their selection so then they start people start coming on stage first you've got the student body president you know young man the college student in a suit and tie he thanks us all for coming there etc etc he introduces people start coming on stage first you get the student body president you know young man the college students who tiny he thanks us all for coming there at center center he introduces the the president of the school he comes and thanks all for coming at center at center he introduces a local politician he comes and thanks all for coming at

center at center tells a little story about trump that he introduces a woman who who met donald trump in nineteen eighty two and you can tell about this and this sounds awful this whole and everything you've said so far none of this has been fun this has been like an assignment it it was a little it was a little tedious so but they introduced this blonde lady she's like i met donald trump in 1982 i worked on qbc for 12 years and i was like donald trump fucked the shit out of this woman he totally did because you could tell this broad was hot as shit back in the day like she still filled out a dress a tight dress well

and she and and her hair was great, and she had the right bone structure. She used to be a fox. I totally know Donald Trump nailed this bitch. So she introduces another guy, and finally they bring out the, they sing the national anthem. I think we might have done the Pledge of Allegiance.

I don't know what else. There was a short prayer, and then they bring out this black minister and his suit is buttoned barely it can barely take it and i'm texting which is i'm like yeah testing the tensile strength of that button i said somebody needs to pray for that suit button as soon as he gets the thing and says law the suit goes boom because he came out and he was loud and boisterous and he knew how to whip up the crowd. He's been doing it since birth That up Trump ain't for black Americans. He ain't for white Americans. He's for Americans Y'all ain't black Americans are you? No! And y'all ain't white Americans are you? No! What are you? And they were

Americans and the crowd goes usa usa and he's getting us fucking fired up he's like a rap hype man but he's talking about the lord a little bit so it's like bruce buffer of politics he's great it's like yes and he's got a powerful voice and he's he's talking about mr trump and it's great and i'm like hell yeah i hope that in a minute he gets us really whipped up and he goes i want to welcome that you know like give his accolades man We're a tit the ten billion dollar man the man who can't be stopped Did that that that that a day Trump and I wanted to like parachute in but no he gets done He's like trouble be here later

And they tell us that oh, it's so foggy Trump can't land in Hickory, he's going to land in Charlotte. Well, they cleared the highways for Trump and he drove really fast, apparently, because it's an hour drive from Charlotte to us, but he got there in 40 minutes, seemingly. I heard his possession had like 18 motorcycles and like four or five sedans and I saw some of it outside. It was impressive. So finally, after this stupid american idol chick sings like three or four songs she's just like off the top of her head yeah yeah they're singing it was a concert

more than anything yeah american idol can sing this sounds nice i like it i fell asleep i'm alone in this huh she could sing no no i was down for the songs as long as they're entertaining me i was good um and you know she got a few cat calls. That was kind of funny because she got embarrassed by it. It was fun. It was fun to watch. So, finally. And when she gets off for the three songs, she's like, Donald Trump will be right here. He wasn't right there.

I don't know how many hours went by, but finally, the black man comes out and he says, Ladies and gentlemen, I want to welcome New Jersey Governor, Chris Christie. And Chris Christie comes out out and he's bigger than life. Literally, this is a big boy, right?

I mean, I was hanging out with wings redemption earlier this week and I'd love to see a sumo wrestling contest between those two. Cause I think wings hasn't, but this is a big boy. He comes out and he makes it short and sweet. No buildup, no bullshit.

He's like, I know you guys have been waiting for a long time. I want to welcome Donald J. Trump to the stage. And Donald fucking comes out. He comes stage left. Here he comes, smiling and waving like 20 feet from me. And I'm just like, fuck yeah! And the crowd goes wild. Some of us have fallen asleep at this point.

We've been waiting so long. How much time has passed since you arrived and he walks out on stage i got there at 5 20 in the morning and i'm gonna say he got there around noon so nearly seven hours what do these people do um you know i was i i came for the trump train. So the crowd goes fucking ape shit. They love him. They chant Trump, Trump, Trump, USA, USA. And he has to, and he sits down, but they keep going. He has to stand back up because it's like inappropriate to sit during such a long ovation.

And he's like, he's like waving. And he's like, thank you. And it seemed genuine, you know, because he's great. And everybody's standing. Nobody's sitting in the entire auditorium and just going ape shit. Finally, finally, he gets his tone down. He gets calmed down. And they start talking.

And it's going to be like a conversation, really. He's got, Christy is his hype man over there. He's the one over there. He's set up man, I should say. He's like, Donald, you know, a lot of people talk about your foreign policy. And you're going to be really tough on terror in their right dot you'll be really tough intel more about that well i'm glad you brought that up chris i am to be very tough on terry's and he

goes into like his eyes is talking points the crowd erupts at every mention of one of his main campaign things when he brings up the wall that was the second biggest cheer of the night. He brings up the wall. He's talking about the illegal immigration, et cetera, et cetera. And he says, you know, we're going to build a wall. And the crowd starts chanting it. Build the wall. Build the wall. Build the wall. And it goes on for a while. And Trump goes, and I don't even have to tell you who's gonna pay

for it and the crowd goes mexico and the building shakes and that's when the protesters start screaming and standing up and like holding a signs and cursing and uh and the whole crowd loses their shit get them out get them out everybody's screaming just. I can't see any scuffle going on. That's not happening. Nobody's touching him, but everybody's booing and screaming and telling him what an asshole he is. And Trump just kind of goes, that's what happens when you've got young, misguided people.

What are you going to do? Don't hurt him! Don't hurt him! That's smart. He says, don't hurt him, and then they drag him out. The cops do. And Trump says, the. He says, don't hurt him. And then they drag him out. The cops do. And Trump says, the media always says we have violence here. Talk about how violent it is. He's like, we've got a big love fest in here.

It's a big love fest. We all love each other. What are you talking about? Three guys? And how many are here? How many thousands are outside listening to my voice right now? And you can hear a roar outside. You hear a roar outside you hear your keep is being stormed and you're in there somebody just blew the horn of like helm hammer

hand or something you're that kid that's sitting underground and helms deep and he hears the urniki marching and he's looking around it was that kind of moment. So he carries on. And three times during the speaking, protesters stood up. One time in particular, I think Trump was saying, he's like, we never should have went into Iraq. But I told him, once you're there, once you've bled, take the oil. Take the oil. Just take it. And when he said that, this guy who's about 25 rows behind me stands up and screams

fuck you trump fuck trump and he rips his trump shirt off like hulk hogan and throws it and starts giving him the double birds and screaming and his girlfriend's giving him the double birds too and they go and there's a guy about five rows behind me he's, he's sleeveless, he's got a Fu Manchu, and he looks like a big bad biker man. He is the definition of that. And he is so red faced, and he is like huffing and puffing. Like, if that guy had been within arm's reach, this guy would have done some physical violence to this guy, because he did not appreciate that man saying fuck Donald Trump, or interrupting his time, or whatever. Something about that protester made him mad. But, again, no violence.

They just kind of... He forced them to drag him out. He was like, you know, I don't know how to describe it. Did he have another shirt on? He didn't walk out kindly. I don't understand. Yeah, he had a second shirt. Was it a Bernie shirt or some other shirt?

Like, fuck you, Dutch. That would have been smart, you know, if he transformed into a Sanders supporter. But, no, he just had, like, a gray tee under that. And, uh, and then there was one more. Wait, so you had this big reveal. And there's no payoff. It was about destroying the Trump shirt, you know. The payoff is that he spent seven hours of his life to flip Donald Trump off from, like, 60 yards.

Yeah. I wish that he had a PKA shirt on. That would be great. You know, he opens it and it's, like, the gluten shirt. If he had a PKA shirt on, that would be great. He opens it, and it's like the gluten shirt. There were three total disturbances, protesters who got up and shouted.

So they drug maybe seven people out of their total, maybe two in the first group, three or four in the next, and then maybe one or two in the next, and that was it. And he didn't get to talk as long, I think, as normal, and he didn't get to do the autograph signing and like the hobnobbing that he normally does after rallies because he had already been delayed so much he had to go to Florida. Which sucked because I bought some Trump buttons

outside. Guys, let me tell you if there are any young entrepreneurs out there who are listening to this and you want to make some real fucking money real easy all you got to do is show up to this Donald Trump rally hours and hours before they start with bootleg hats, shirts and buttons to make some real fucking money real easy all you got to do is show up this donald trump rally at the you know hours and hours before they start with bootleg hats shirts and buttons and you will

make yourself several thousand dollars a day i watched it happen they're not donald trump merchandise it's just hats that say make america great again trump hats random trump buttons i bought three of them because like one of them says bomb the shit out of isis and one of them's like lock up Hillary. They're just funny little buttons, and I expected to maybe get one signed, but this guy kept coming with carts full of merchandise and returning to his vehicle.

He made the rounds all day, and when I exited the rally, he was still out there selling. He must have made thousands. He was selling one for $22 for $30. All day he was screaming that. Buttons, one for $22 for $30. All day he was screaming that. Buttons, one for $20, two for $30. Oh, shirts. He had shirts this thick, and he'd go down that line, sell them all, and go get more.

It was buttons, shirts, hats, everything. That's a great idea, but that's illegal, isn't it? I don't know. We were surrounded by a sea of cops, 50 cops. I can't just go fry my own chicken and then set up a stand outside of KFC. That is a good concert business. I went to the Grateful Dead and people were selling grilled cheese sandwiches like hotcakes. They were just – yeah, just – and I'm like this is like a dirty person with dreadlocks kneeling over a little Coleman grill selling grilled cheese sandwiches.

But it's an entrepreneur and I don't know what to say. They were selling them. It's a really gross entrepreneur, though. Yes. Well, there's a difference between selling those T-shirts at a Trump rally and selling really nasty, off-brand, bread, gross, pasteurized cheese sandwiches on your hot plate plugged into your wood-paneled old van. So, Kyle Moore? which is on your hot plate plugged into your wood paneled old van so kyle moore so the rally ends um oh a few of his talking points that were interesting that i hadn't really heard him

bring up before i'd heard him mention christmas before but but he got he went he talked about it a bit there um how he's gonna you know we're gonna say christmas again you know he he goes into that we're not gonna say happy holidays we to say, we're going to say Christmas or whatever. And, uh, he talked about, uh, yeah,

I love that, that battle against that phantom. Like nobody gives a fuck. This, this was an evangelical crowd, I would say. And they really responded to it. Well, it was one of the bigger cheers again.

Um, um, he mentioned second amendment. That was a huge deal. Everybody cheered, went ape shit over that. Um, he talked about abortion, too

They went apeshit over that too also, what do you say you know what maybe he I Someone said marriages between a man and a man, but I think it was a black preacher man a woman I don't want to put that yeah, yeah a man a woman I don't put those words in Trump's mouth because I don't think he said them I'm pretty sure that black preacher man said them. And I think that's how misinformation gets spread. And like, yeah, Trump said he was going to kill all the blacks. You're like, wait, when?

Did he? Trump expressly said some of the blacks. Yeah, just a few. A bad one. No more than a quarter. Yeah. So finally they let us out of there. And I'm like, let's get the fuck out of here, right?

Because I know the traffic is going to be bad. And I don't even know how they get us out of there, and I'm like, let's get the fuck out of here, right? Because I know the traffic's going to be bad, and I don't even know how they get Trump out of there. So we get outside, and there the protesters are. Now they're by the door, and we have to kind of walk through them, slash around them to get free. But it was very—there was no hint of violence. There wasn't even a hint—I didn't even hear any harsh language. There was just a lot of messages being shouted back and forth. Were you a little disappointed that there wasn't as much craziness as you were led to believe and it was kind of just a political rally?

No, I didn't want there to be any violence because I didn't want to get into any violence. I didn't want any part of that. I really just wanted to come and see the show, be entertained as I had been already, watching YouTube videos and stuff. I really just wanted to come and see the show, be entertained, as I had been already watching YouTube videos and stuff. I wanted to see every bit of it, having none of it filtered or cut away from or edited together or chopped anything. I wanted to hear the full message

and I got it. It was very entertaining. I'm glad I went. It was better than a movie. It was better than dinner and a movie. Longer than both. Definitely. I mean... went it was better than a movie and it was better than dinner in a movie i mean longer than both yeah definitely yes oh it was i it i mean what was the biggest difference between what you perceived from just watching youtube videos and on tv and what you saw from him when you were there like was there anything glaring that you noticed it was more about the the audience um getting to like see who was actually there and why they were there there were a lot of women um there were a

lot of there were a lot of women there um there were a lot of women. There were a lot of women there. There were a lot of young people there, a lot of students, and a lot of... There was that one guy who looked like a time traveler that I sent you guys the picture of. I'm pretty sure he was there up to no good. I saw him there all day. Oh, the Secret Service presence.

I want to talk about that. There were about eight Secret Service at the bottom of the stage you know on ground level um they were behind one of those steel fences that comes up to about this height that had sort of an american flag red white and blue kind of thing draped over it so it was gonna be really hard to like hurdle that get past an agent and then hurdle a stage and get up there in my opinion the secret service just failed right like that guy i don't think he touched trump but he was close yeah oh he he made it through two uh past two agents and the third uh late was the one who laid hands i feel like there are a clip of this yeah kyle can you find it or chis maybe

forever people don't choose is hosting the call but he's not really participating Chiz will find it his objective was to use Trump's microphone so what he did is he kind of got right up to the bottom of the stage and

that's when the Secret Service intercepted him if hypothetically he had a knife and his objective was to slice his Achilles, I think he would have succeeded. You know, I read a post that claimed that Trump always conceals carries a handgun and that if you watch closely, he's swinging out his coat to reach for his gun.

I don't know if that's true or not. I like the fiction. I like to believe that it is. I'm going to go ahead and believe that and spread it around. I know that he does concealed carry. That is a thing So yeah, he has a concealed carry license in New York I've heard this and they're difficult to get in New York. That's very hard to get yeah And so everybody kind of has reciprocity with New York's I would imagine like he's probably pretty good all over and and i would say that he can i don't know we have this video i think he's kind of a special circumstance especially at the moment you know i mean he's kind of he's got the secret service

with him and i feel like they'll just look the other way even if he were in a state where he weren't necessarily supposed to have it this is the that guy got way too far. Oh, can we start a Q&Q up at zero? I'm at zero. Yep. Ready, set, play. You can see him in the left. So, folks, here's what happened. I will call up Tarion, the president.

I guess I have to talk to him. One agent, two agents on the stage. Third agent is in fourth. Fifth, sixth, seventh. Stick his ass, Tyler. Don't get him. Don't get him. Get the fuck out of here.

Get him. Stuff like that shows you how quickly crowds can get out of control. Like, that was one dude, and so many people had to just subdue him. Yeah, what if it doesn't have one? That's crazy. Yeah, what if even doesn't have women? That's crazy. Yeah, what if even like 10? I read online that two women tried to jump too and they were restrained by the audience.

I just want to say something. Earlier I said if his goal was to get Trump's leg or something, he would have succeeded. I'm not sure that's true anymore after re-watching the video. I feel like they did intercept him. It's a deep stage too. Trump's not just going to stand stand there trump looks ready to defend himself and he's not that excited about the secret service treating him like a baby he's like come on i can handle myself like stay at arm's length here you

can get around me but but don't hug me um so i remember when uh i forget it might have been 9-11 i think it was cheney telling the story. He was somewhere. Maybe he was in the White House or whatever. But he was like the Secret Service. They took him and they put him in a place that was much more secure. And he's like, they don't ask questions. They don't take you kindly. They grab you by the arms and they forcefully take you where a safe place.

And this is people who are used to being in charge or used to be treated with like uber respect, like super respect. And yeah, I bet Trump is a similar way. He's not used to being manhandled on a daily basis, but he was for a moment. Real quick, Chiz, you're in the call. So talk up. It's like the text thing it's distracting oh well chiz is over there arguing chiz said not he says trump said that the guy that attacked him

was in isis and it turns out that he isn't and i said no trump said that he was an ice isis sympathizer and he is and then uh what trump, I'm almost positive, is that he had ISIS ties. Yeah, based on the video that Kyle is referring to, and which has been completely debunked. What do you mean debunked? There's a video of him standing on the American flag with ISIS music.

There's a whole article about it right there. They even interviewed this guy. This guy is not detained or in jail. The quote-unquote ISIS... They filed federal charges on this guy today. So why did he jump over the thing? Like, what was... What's his explanation? Like, I just really don't like him? It was something along those lines.

It was something like, I just wanted to show I could do it. He's been planning this for months or something. He says it in the... That was his plan? Yeah. After months? He wasn't gonna hurt Trump or anything. It was just to jump it. He really didn't think Trump would get this far, but he thought, well, all right, it is this far. I have to do this now. I believe I could have come up with a similar plan in three seconds.

Yeah, that's the last fight or flight plan. That looks like a very impromptu thing, but no, that was planned and rehearsed for months. He's been jumping over fences in the neighborhood for months now. That's what he was doing in his backyard like hurdles he had those steel bars jumping over all of them finally got there oh my god these are way taller than my regulation ones what am i gonna do i can't jump this practicing does anyway practicing the three yard jog you know he takes a lot of training to do a three yard jog which is what we saw yeah um so yeah he said he had isis ties i i looked it up and that's accurate so he doesn't have ties with isis he just no he does he's where they're coming from

i guess you know when you have a group that is um sort of loosely organized like al-qaeda and i don't know if isis is the same way ties is a loose term right like if you say I have ties to the U.S. military, I have to, like, actually be in the military, be part of the military, like a commanding structure. If I said I had ties to a non, the hacker group, all I need to do is say I have ties to a non, the hacker group. It's all ill. Can we watch this video?

Yeah, let's watch. What is this? Is this a funny video? No, it's a video that this guy made. It's even on Snopes. This is a doctored video. It is not. The video predates it. This is a re-upload, but the video that I'm talking about

predates all of this. Why would you say the opposite? You love Trump so much you refuse to believe this is a false assessment. What video? Is it the CNN one? No, it's the one Kyle linked. That doesn't look legit. Does anyone...

Oh, my... I'm sorry. My Skype wasn't scrolling. What? I didn't realize Kyle linked a video because my Skype didn't scroll. Well, yeah. This video is...

This is a video of the guy. What do you mean it looks doctored? Is that not him standing on an American flag? Now, the only thing that you could possibly say was doctored is the fact that there's Isis music playing over the that's the murder was doctor that they're telling everything the flag part is true but the Isis music and the ties to him quote-unquote all

is wrong it's false everything shows the opposite let okay mad about well let me explain my side of this because I watched a video identical to this one the day of the guy charging the stage, and it was predated. It happened before that day. So, like, they must have

went back in time and doctored a video. Or maybe there's been a smear campaign against this man for a long time. Is that what you're suggesting? Or maybe somebody just saw this video and put the music behind it. But you're not listening though. So they added the music through some sort of YouTube editing

software on his YouTube channel? Did they hack him as well? It was. The one that was linked, it's been taken down since. The only way we can really know if he's an ISIS is if there's some footage of him from an AC-130. I don't think he's in ISIS is if there's some footage of him from an AC-130. You said China was brought to him?

I don't think he is in ISIS. That's a giveaway. But he's clearly not an American dream white picket fences kind of guy. I didn't say that. We're talking if he is in ISIS and you were defending the point he was. I never said he was in ISIS. You keep changing things to in ISIS. He didn't say he was in ISIS. You keep changing things to in ISIS. He didn't say he was in ISIS.

He said that he understood, he was a sympathizer with ISIS, which that's like in that middle ground of, is that, does he have ties to it? No. Like, not really. Like, it's just, it's like, if you, do you have ties to your favorite sports team?

Like, yeah, maybe you like them, but you're not sending in checks or anything, you know? Like, that's what I think is probably similar. What do you buy the jersey? Are you a supporter of them? Yeah. like yeah maybe you like them but you're not sending in checks or anything you know like that's what i think it's probably so you buy the jersey are you a supporter then yeah oh yeah but he's not just have jerseys with like terrorist names on the back i think it's fair to say that when trump said he had what did he had ties to isis he might have He was either wrong or he pulled out of his ass. I don't know what proof he was using. I don't think he has ties to ISIS. I don't think he's

in contact with ISIS leadership. I don't think he is a terrorist per se. But Trump said he had ties to ISIS. I think he's an ISIS sympathizer. There's a fine there's a middle ground there. I don't know. Trump lies a lot.

Trump does lie a lot. Yeah, he does. And it's one of the, it's really my biggest issue with him because on the issues, we're not together on a lot of them, but I'm not that far apart from Trump on a lot of issues. But I'm pretty far apart on the man. I wouldn't let Trump babysit my kids. Really?

Yeah. He probably has like 60 maids. They'd come back all fucked up. They'd be like cheating and they'd have spray tan on. I have complete confidence in his suarez. In spray tan? Exactly. If Trump babysits my kids, all of a sudden I'm going to come back and Hope is going to be like,

Dude, Dad, I learned everything. It was huge. And she'd have spray tan on and she'd cheat on her boyfriends and have no morals. That's Trump. If Trump was my nanny, my kids would suck. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe they'd learn by example and they'd see the good and they'd say oh but that's that's not desirable i don't want to yell at mexicans until they decide to do that i uh what is the uh so i'm looking at the i guess the election results are here now right a lot of them it looks pretty pretty final. Illinois, Missouri are still coming in.

So we're doing this as the election results kind of roll in. And here we are. Trump is winning every state except Ohio. Clinton is winning every state, period. Now, some caveats. In Missouri, only 3% is in, but she's winning by 20%. winning every state period now some caveats in Missouri only three percent is in but she's winning by 20% so that looks bad this looks terrible for Sanders all around I I don't dislike Sanders much I like I feel like Sanders

is a good man even though we're super too far apart on policy. But Sanders supporters are delusional fucknards. And that is my frustration. The collapse is beginning. Go onto the Reddit forums about Sanders and the political ones. And it's just like post after post. It's in the phase right now of denial. They're in denial. And so a lot of the posts are like,

10 reasons why Bernie is it's not over yet about to light this up or just something and it's like what what is what website is this like bernie for president.net like no that's not like no none of that like bernie brothers like no you can't take a poll from there and just move it over here after you barraged it in the first place from your own forum like it doesn't prove anything. He's literally losing every single state today. And they're going to be like, well, you know, and this is a typical Bernie Sanders fan thing. You know, he's losing Illinois by 10 points right now.

Now, if you go back a month, he was losing by 15 points. So this is really a win. That's true. I'm getting better at gambling. Last year I lost 10,000 at the casinos. This year I've lost 8. Yeah, Taylor, there's a lot of reasons I think you should keep gambling. No, Sanders, it might be smart for him to pull out after today.

It's getting to the point where I'm pulling numbers out of my ass. Get checked into a hospice because it's about time. I wouldn't be surprised if he had to win something like 70%. If he had to win every state by 70%. And this is a guy stuck in the 30s and 40s in every state. Actually, mostly 30s. You know? A lot of his fans, too.

I think, okay, just like every group, there's a minority that's really vocal that's going to make everybody look shitty. I don't think all of them are like that. But the really intense ones who are posting. I saw this thing about phone banking, which is apparently just bothering people. And you just, that's what you do. And this guy posted a thing today, and it was like,

man, we only have 426 calls from our phone bank, and it's already 10 a.m. And even some of the commenters there were like, are you fucking calling people to debate politics at 10 in the morning? You asshole. Like if I was a Bernie fanatic and someone called me and was like, Hey, I'd like to talk to you about Bernie. You know who you're voting for? And it was before 10 AM. I would, I'd give my vote to Clinton. I'm not going to vote in first place. So don't call

me, but no, it's nonsense. Those people really believe. Sanders has been getting his ass kicked from the start. And you have to be pretty delusional his ass kicked from the start and you have to be pretty delusional not to look at the polls and know that he's going to get his ass kicked in the future as well and there's just look bernie is an honest man he's one of the few honest people in in politics but jesus christ that they're they're so his supporters are delusional who was it or was it washington who could not tell a lie which one couldn't tell a lie Jesus Christ. His supporters are delusional. Or was it Washington who could not tell a lie? Which one couldn't tell a lie?

Lincoln or Washington. Trump. They chopped down the cherry tree. Washington, I think, is the cherry tree guy. I cannot tell a lie, did it? Of course, you better fess up. Who else is going to chop down a fucking tree in your yard in the 1700s, right? You'd shoot your neighbor if you did that shit. It was loud and it took you an hour

and a half we all saw you like i'd wonder about the you know that man's qualifications to be president the parents were like looking out there i guess they'd have a window with a hole in the wall you know and watching him chop that tree and he comes and confesses up to it like they didn't know yeah sanders best performance today is losing about 54 to 45 in Illinois. He's losing by 20 points-ish in every other state. Well, good, good. I want that for him because I didn't care for how those Bernie Sanders protesters had been going to the Trump rallies.

Why? Why are you going there? I don't like them disrupting free speech, if I'm being honest. You don't have to like what that guy's saying. I know he's a nutjob Populist who's like who's shouting stuff that you don't necessarily agree with but You can't just shut him up I just looked up what phone banking is just to make sure I had it right and it is just bothering people Get money and try and get support and trying to predict the vote oh if i

call miss susan b whittaker at 6 45 in the morning just to see who she's gonna vote for who you're gonna vote for am i bothering you i hope not i don't have anything to live for so i'm putting everything into this i saw did you see the graphic that showed that did you see the graphic that showed the incoming calls like they were missiles hitting all over the country i was thinking like fuck that shit like you could see north carolina just pew pew pew pew in ohio they're just there's raining in like missiles the missiles of annoyance from cocksuckers i love the trump supporters that are like man months of not phone backing is phone banking or donating is really paid off. I've driven zero people to the polls. I've donated zero dollars to the campaign.

I've spent zero time energizing the electorate, but we're still winning. You know what it's like? It's like if you ask a Jehovah's Witness and you're like, why do you go around and harass people all the time and bother them when they don't want to be talked to about this they'll go no it's not harassment like i'm just trying to talk to him about this this is very important like and it's like yeah i get it to you this is something that could happen like maybe it's real whoo but it's not for me no so go away it's that same thing of like everybody who's not you know really optimistic for bernie right now kind of gets that he's fucked like Like, he's not... If you were to get a call about him today...

You still need that indictment. It's not over. I hope he stays in all the way to their convention or until she gets the necessary delegates. I think it's a lower number of delegates because there's only two of them or something, or maybe because it's the Democrats. I'm certainly no political expert,

but I don't think it's 13... It's a higher number. Is it? It's a higher number, but there's... I told you so thing with him losing. It's like, I think all of us would rather him than Hillary. I knew there was disparity. I thought it was the other way.

There's more in every state, though. So, you know, I'm not saying it's harder to hit. It's just a bigger number. I don't fully understand. Yeah, that makes sense. They got more... They're just doing it differently. They just...

Okay. They went from COD 4 to Modern Warfare 2, you know? They just had a zero on everything. Well, I hope he sticks in it as long as he possibly can because there is that possibility that she gets indicted. Yes, I believe that will happen shortly. Maybe even on Trump's inauguration day. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. She's really got to win this. Yeah, yeah. He's going to go down and he'll arrive by helicopter. He'll do his speech. He'll meet with Obama. They always do that. They meet with the outgoing president and they get some presumably advice.

I don't know. What if Trump beat up Obama? Obama would beat the fuck out of Trump. Obama would smack Trump around like a bitch. I think Trump would wrap him up. He's gotta be a big strong guy, but I think Obama's much more athletic. Are you kidding? He's like 30 years older than him. And Obama's tall. He's like...

Yeah, Trump is also 70 years old. And he's overweight. But you're forgetting Trump has the handgun. Oh. That just whips Obama. You. Well, that's Obama. I'll say this. I believe Obama. You think Obama carries like a rape whistle?

I think Obama has bigger hands than Trump does. And he's black, so you know he's rocking it downstairs. That should be how we determine this election. Hillary Clinton should pull out her dick. Donald Trump should pull out. Let's just measure it. I don't want another Clinton presidency. Did you see that photo of her in the swimsuit today? No.

It's a picture of her and Bill Clinton. It looks like it's from the 90s for sure because Bill has color in his hair. He's hugging her and you see her butt. She's in a one piece. She has a massive butt. It's massive and not in a good way like she's got a big big old lady fat ass and he's just kind of he's like got his arm around her he's smiling

you find it but uneven texture like when you stuff like cardboard boxes into a garbage bag and there's a little weird poke out do you tell choose where you found it or something like that i saw it on reddit but i've already found it. Oh, that's nice. Let me go to the page. Yeah, just as an update since then, Missouri is the only state where there's not many votes in. It's 3%, but Clinton's up by 16 there. Oh.

It looks like I'm personally practically ready to call it for Clinton in every state. I think Missouri is a winner-take-all state. I may have to withdraw my earlier statement. It doesn't look as big now. Maybe there was some Photoshopping going on. Let me just say, it wasn't freakish looking. They made it a little bit bigger, I think, in what I saw. Or maybe it was just more of a close-up.

This needs to be enhanced. Enhance. Enhance. Yeah, it's not a hollywood body but she's fine can you explain that woody i'm sorry what the winner take all versus the delegates so if yeah it just means distribution of delegates in a winner take all state they all have to go to one exactly in the democratic elections they tend to be proportional and chis might correct me on this um but they tend to be proportional so if you win like 60 40 you're going to get about 60 of the votes on the democratic side on the republican side up until yesterday they couldn't be winner take all so there's a off topic that states get to choose

like florida might be especially important and catered to because they're winner take all but they couldn't be winner-take-all. So there's an off-topic that states get to choose. Like Florida might be especially important and catered to because they're winner-take-all, but they're later in the election, which makes them matter a little less. Anyway, starting today, states have the option of being winner-take-all and winner-take-most. Winner-take-all is just like it sounds. First place gets everything. Second place gets a set of steak knives. Winner take most, usually how it works is they break it up into either counties or voting districts.

And like half will go to winner take all, right? Half will go to the first place. And then the other half is divided up by whoever won that county. Like that's a common thing. But the person who won the county tends to be the person that got first so you know if you win a state and you got like all counties but two you might come home with like 90 of the delegates so starting today there's a lot of winner take all and winner take most and that's going to help front runners really pull in the delegates i like the glenn gary uh glenn ross reference

oh yes the state of state guys very good movie alec baldwin comes in that that his speech there it goes on for like 10 minutes but that's the whole movie we were talking recently oh i was talking about dicaprio being a good but not great actor uh dicaprio's made a lot of films that i really like so people are going to get me all twisted on you know like like like i'm anti dicaprio no inception one of the greatest films ever um wolf of wall street i like that um titanic i guess was good i don't know django um um what was the what's eating what's eating gilbert grape we were watching what i've never seen that movie and blood diamond for this we've been watching what's eating gilbertpe and it's good so far but it's hard it would have been better if

I watched it before I knew who he was and I knew that he's not actually retarded because it's really hard to look at someone who's not retarded what I was saying about DiCaprio was I feel like his real skill is choosing the great films to be in and just sort of like being in great films if you watch him actually

act in those films he you watch him actually act in those films he's not special he's not good he's not he's not you know like i don't i don't think he's great wolf of wall street we started watching his performance where he was like doing that stupid ugly face and like trying to psych people up and then we compared that to alec baldwin sweet speech and possibly even better um who's the boiler room guy? Handsome. Alec Baldwin is celebrated as a great actor. Yes. Is he? Yeah. Alec Baldwin

and Ben Affleck both make Leonardo DiCaprio's Wolf of Wall Street speech look like it's a high school performance. No. No. Leonardo DiCaprio, I think, is a better actor than Affleck. I know that Affleck also does writing and directing, so it's not even like that's his full gig.

I don't think Leonardo does acting or directing, but yeah, he's absolutely a better actor than Ben Affleck. He certainly has, I think, a better body of work. You know, Affleck has too many Pearl Harbor silly things. Gigli. Gigli, oh goodness. But affleck killed the boiler room speech in a way that uh you know the dicaprio can't match boiler room yeah did i say it wrong with vin diesel yes yeah yeah that is vin diesel's best acting that he's ever done that's the vin

diesel i wish you'd see more because he really is a good actor. If you watch Vin Diesel in the boiler room. I liked him in – He did that speech, 500 Fights. That's the one with stock manipulation, right? Yeah, that's the one. It's the pump and dump movie. Yes.

He did another speech where he was a tough guy and he talked about 500 Fights. You've probably seen that. Yes, that's also a good one. Very well done. What's that called? I swear, like watch – Knock around guys. Yeah.

Watch DiCaprio critically, right? I know I enjoy his films as much as anyone. I feel like he's only making movies with Scorsese, and he's only picking great plots. And that in itself is a talent. If I hear DiCaprio's in a movie, I give that movie preferential treatment. Like, ooh, this guy only seems to be in good ones.

I used to think that about Will Smith. I've never thought that about Will Smith. I did. There was a time. I won't say that they were good movies, but they're good a different way. I feel like for a long time, Will Smith at the very least made successful movies.

Movies that were good for what they were. Now, you might not like Michael Bay action movies, which is what Bad Boys 1, 2, and soon to come 3, they're making a third one now, are, you know, it's just a ridiculous, over-the-top action movie. These two black cops just, you know, I mean, the whole thing is that Will Smith's character is like a millionaire playboy slash cop.

He's driving a Dodge Viper or something in high-speed chases. I don't remember what it was. some high-end sports car so like you know it's ridiculous but I liked it I like this kind of movies it wasn't until he started the real flops that he's made the real shit movies is when he's tried to make his son he was just that superhero who was too cool for school like hammock or whatever and he was like oh yeah dude but I also ruin stuff and like I like that movie hancock it was called and the first half of hancock is good but as soon as um as what's her

name gets involved it's bad what's the blonde lady who's um it wasn't she was in monster no it's not uma thurman um it's the one from monster the one that won the oscar hallie bell oh charlie's that's hallie berry and that's Monster's ball you're thinking of. Charlize Theron. Well done, though. Yeah, I was like, she's not blonde, but that's... Anyway. Billy Bob just nailing her.

Yeah. I like that. You guys, I didn't like Sling Blade. I was watching part of it on TV the other day and I texted Kyle because I was like, I can't even watch the sad part of this movie because every single thing I just am picturing Kyle as him and just doing his voice like he does.

He's just a boy. I love that. You sent me, you sent the video of you doing Sling Blade and I was going to send a response video and for like 20 minutes I kept trying to do it good until I realized like, I spent the past 20 minutes trying to record myself

doing a Sling Blade, boy. And I just realized what a waste of time it was, so I didn't do it. It's not a waste of time at all. I've spent countless hours doing those voices in the shower. Have you done it in public to embarrass your girlfriend when you're ordering time all kinds of stuff yeah yeah i'm telling you i've got a friend my friend his name's matt burnett he's uh an

explosives guy i worked with in texas he does that voice so well that i dare not even do it around him he outshines me so it's like i'm not even close he first of, he has the same hair. He's balding and it's cut short. And he looks... When he does that underbite thing, and he does the voice to a T. The voice is absolutely perfect. So when he does it, I'm just like, holy shit, Carl's here!

Carl's here! This is fucking Carl! He's incredible at it. Speaking of incredible impressions, I guess, have we all watched all of It's Always Sunny now? So you've seen Dennis do the impression of CCH Pounder? Yes. God damn it, Dutch! What other errands you got us running for the DA?

That's great. He said that was shocking. He did that so well. I love the reaction from Mac and Charlie when he did that. It was like, whoa! Like, blown away. I had to look her up because I didn't know who it was really, and it was a good impression. You should watch The Shield. The Shield is a great show.

You know, it's a dirty cop. I don't want to watch that fat, bald guy stop crime. I don't like him. He's not stopping crime, though. So he's got a couple of autistic children, and paying for their therapy and their special needs greatly exceeds what he makes as a detective.

So he becomes kind of a dirty cop and makes money however he can, not defrauding good people, but stealing from drug dealers, ripping off drug dealers, stealing from the mob, stuff like that. Like Robin Hood, but it all comes to him. He's not a nice guy now. This guy isn't above torture and violence and that sort of thing when it comes to him. He's not a nice guy now. This guy isn't above torture and violence and that sort of thing when it comes to criminals. He'll throw a beating, he'll plant evidence, all that stuff,

but he's got a good reason. He's got a family back home. That's Michael Chiklis. Michael Chiklis, yes. It's really good. The only problem is it's standard. SD 4x3. Like 16x9 or that bullshit bullshit 16x9 is the good one

oh well then of course i knew oh slip of the tongue you know yeah 4x3 is the squarish one that's what you don't want have i talked about the wings of redemption trip on the show i i've lost i've been doing i've been running around so much today no that would have been the day after pka yeah you want to should i save that for pka i think we should save it for pka but i guess there I've been running around so much today. No, that would have been the day after PKA. Yeah. Should I save that for PKA? I think we should save it for PKA, but if there was one little teaser thing. You know, it wasn't a fantastic trip or anything.

Not the kind of teaser I wanted. Well, let's just lower those expectations. I do want to temper expectations, because we certainly didn't spend all day getting up to hijinks or anything. I did make some kind of cameo on the podcast show, though, because I walk in, and his mom's like, he's in there, and I walk in, and I'm like, here I am.

I'm on the show, apparently. I didn't even know. That's when you showed up? Yeah, I'm on the show. I walk in the room, and I'm on the show. I walk in the room and I'm on the show. And so I'm just like, hey there, guys. Do like an air shake with Eddie and everything. I'd never met him before.

But yeah, he just kind of threw me in there. And I guess the other thing would be, looks like Wings is probably coming to stay with me for a short period of time, sometime in the future. See, that's a good teaser. time, sometime in the future. Hmm. See, that's a good teaser. A lot of places to go from there. A lot of things. Why is Wing staying at

Kyle's house? Another weight loss trip? A business opportunity? Hmm? Hmm? PKA This Week. Check it out. Eating Contest Partner? Eating Contest Partner. Flamethrower debacles. He burned his house down.

That's what it is. He did operate my flamethrower when I was there. I did take my flamethrower and let him shoot it a bit. Are there any vlogs coming out of either the Trump trip or the Wings trip? Well, I've got definitely no vlogs from the Wings trip. I've got some footage that I took there that I might edit together, but I probably won't because it's just poor. Circumstances were not conducive toward a good shoot.

I just wasn't able to get everything I want. I do have a lot of footage of me at the Trump rally out front. I would try to record when the people were chanting. I could snap that together. But it's really just me standing out there looking at the camera and showing the crowd and talking about it and what's going on.

I wish you vlogged it. I wish you talked to it. Did a thing. I did. I did talk to it. Oh, did you? Okay, my mistake. I want to mention I'm doing a day in the life today. So I just need to get a little quick footage right now. Turn this baby around. All right.

So now I'm doing Painkiller Nearly. You can see we got Mirka, Chiz, Kyle. Wave, please. Please clap. The jet beverage. The jet beverage. Yeah, yeah. The Jeff reference. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't know.

Kyle, this was, I think, a super strong PKN. Yeah. I was really interested by all the Trump stories. I knew half of the story, and I was still, like, completely engaged. Kyle told what it was like to be at the Trump rally in North Carolina. So, pretty good. Anyway. I actually got a little clip here I could show Trump rally in North Carolina. So pretty good. Anyway. I actually got a clip here I could show you whenever you're back. Oh, oh.

All right. So PKN, part of my day. No, no, no. Show the people on the phone the video of the phone through Skype. All right. Wait. I'll do that. Tell me when you're ready.

All right. One second. Is it recording? Are you still recording on this phone, on your phone? They insisted that we show the people on my phone, the people on Kyle's phone at the Trump rally. So when you watch this on PKN, you'll know this part happened. Yep.

Kyle's a sexy man, isn't he? Jesus, it's not fair. He's a kid, yeah. Yeah, I see what Milo saw in him. I would do it. Well, never mind. Maybe. Does Kyle get any say in this? No.

No? All right, then. Nope. So there's Kyle at the rally. Lots of ladies. I thought I had recorded at one point when they started cheering. I'd love to play that part because it was... So it's about ten minutes before the door's going to open.

Door's open at seven. We've been here since. That's just lame. I was really hoping there was cheering because that was really the fun part. Oh, I've got a... That's not going to show up well. But fun part oh i've got a that's not going to show up well but oh i got some buttons i should go upstairs and get the buttons they're somewhere but i have a photo of the button ah how much were the buttons they were three for ten

that's not bad oh they were three for ten and they were funny and i had aspirations like i said of having them signed by trump and if he hadn't had aspirations like I said of having them signed by Trump And if he hadn't been so delayed I would have gotten them signed by Trump I had my sharpie had my buttons. I thought that would be a real cool thing to have but yeah that the fog protested That's crude as Cruz fog Cruz fog Bernie fog Lion Ted I call him lion Ted he picks up the Bible and he puts it down and he lies he says that so many times it's I I just know it by heart now Trump hasn't broken 50 percent of the

vote in any state that's because it's split between so many people though so as Rubio just dropped out right that'll help um that'll help And also, you've got to keep in mind that some of these going forward are winner-take-all, so that helps him get over that. When he gets to California, there's going to be a lot of delegates, and I don't think that Cruz's Tea Party conservatism is going to really play well there. Kasich's might. He's more moderate, but I think Trump takes a big chunk of California. With Rubio dropped out, I don't know how many of – I feel like Trump and Rubio are at odds, right?

It might be more likely that Cruz gets Rubio people because – I don't know. Somehow Trump and Rubio butt heads. They keep saying that, but it hasn't – it keeps – It never happens. It never happens. Or at the very worst, some of the support goes to a competitor, but some of it bleeds to Trump. A little bit of support has always gone to Trump

as each member fell off. Even when Jeb Bush left, you didn't see anybody really skyrocket past Trump. That's because a lot of Jeb Bush supporters just jumped on the Trump train. It's shocking because, I mean, the guy got humiliated, eviscerated, ripped apart. His political career is probably over.

Well, yeah, but they wanted to join the winning team. They saw that they were on the losing team, and they're like, well, shit. I'm moving over there. I guess. You know, the reason why Florida is winner-take-all this cycle, this election cycle, is it was changed between last election cycle and the was changed between last election cycle

and the current one by the GOP with the aspirations of putting Jeb Bush into the White House. Think about it. Jeb's supposed to win Florida. He's supposed to get all those delegates. Jeb's gone. They never saw this coming.

Never in their wildest dreams did they think that making it a winner-take-all would backfire and give it to Trump of all people. So really cool stuff going on. I like to see the GOP sad. I like to see people in power that are supposedly pulling strings, like see their shit fall apart. Yeah, I like to see it go.

That's part of the reason it's funny to watch Donald Trump get so close to success, is you know that there are so many behind-the-scenes Republicans and Democrats who are just a little bit panicking. There are so many behind the scenes Republicans and Democrats who are just a little bit panicking. Like, oh, we've been the puppeteers of this shit for so long. And now this sideshow act is getting popularity. I keep saying there's a lot of things about Trump that I don't love. But one of the things about Trump that I do love is that I hate the people that hate him. Right.

Like Black Lives Matter hates Trump. Apparently. Fuck Black Lives Matter hates Trump, apparently. Fuck Black Lives Matter. Every fucking thug in Ferguson suddenly gets celebrated by Black Lives Matter. They tried to take a foothold in Raleigh. There was a drug dealer who pulled a gun on a cop and got shot. And they're like, what are you doing? Shooting felony drug arrest warrants who pull guns on cops.

Why would you do that? You don't know what he planned on doing with that gun he could have just held it at his side he could have unloaded it and given it to the officer i it's black lives matter keeps celebrating the wrong people it's very different than like the 1960s you know we shall overcome chance or whatever it's uh they just seem to pick the worst of the worst and say these people are important i can't get on board with what black lives matter has been doing at least their public perception and then the other like you know you get 50 private planes meeting somewhere in what's like the florida keys off the coast of georgia

off the off the coast of georgia i don't even know that we should off the coast of georgia yeah we got some stuff there's 50 private planes meeting off the coast of Georgia, trying to like plan with all their think tanks on how they can beat Trump. 50 billionaires on private planes or multimillionaires or whatever meeting off. Those are the kind of people that I like to see lose. So the people who hate Trump, I hate them. And that's a positive in Trump's corner for me. Like, oh, were they... No, we don't have any gators. Florida's winner-take-all

because some jackasses in a smoky back room with cigars decided that was going to make Jeb the president. Fuck off. I'm glad you didn't get what you wanted because I'm sure you didn't have my best interests in mind. Exactly. And I feel like Trump has his best interests in mind and those probably don't differ that far from mine.

You know, we'll find out. It seems like we might. Yeah. So if Clinton has literally won every state, I see there's two here that aren't called yet. Oh, actually, Missouri is fairly close. I called it. Look, look, Cruz might win Missouri, but Donald Trump is going to win Missouri.

Yeah, look at the maps. But I was talking about the Democratic side. Missouri is voting at the moment. Missouri hasn't spoken yet. I talked about how he was down by double digits. He's only down by like 3% or so in Missouri right now. It's 7% in, so we'll see. But still, I'd rather be up by 3% than down by 3%. He's losing down by like 3% or so in Missouri right now. It's 7% in, so we'll see. But still, I'd rather be up by 3 than down by 3.

He's losing every state, and that's an awful showing. Every fucking state? Really, Sanders? Yeah, that's a blowout. Yeah. That's like if your team is down three games to none, the Stanley Cup Finals, and the other team is up 10 to nothing in the third period, and're still in the the stands like it's gonna start going better it's

gonna start going better you know maybe if we call all the other fans and tell them to cheer louder early in the morning then our team will win no nonsense like you need to kind of you know take your jersey off go home cry wait four years do it again well we can't wait four years you're getting your ass kicked and then the four years. You're getting your ass kicked and then the game is played. You're getting your ass kicked in this game too. And you're looking at the polls for future games and it looks like there's more ass

kickings coming your way. Bernie is so done. Now hang on. We all know that if she gets indicted, Bernie's the guy. Yes. Bernie's the guy if she gets indicted, Bernie's the guy. Yes. Bernie's the guy if she gets indicted. But Obama seems to be pro-Clinton.

Obama is staying tepid on the issue, though he is pro-Clinton. I've listened to four statements from Obama, and he very carefully chooses, and his White House press secretary, whoever that guy is, something Carney maybe? I don't know. But that guy, James. Something Carney, maybe? I don't know. But that guy, James Carney's in my head. I don't know if it is or not. But that guy always... They were asking about Clinton's view of TPP versus Sanders, and how they differed.

And the guy refused to even suggest that they did differ, even though they're the exact same, because they're the exact same view. And they had spoken negatively about how Sanders looks on TPP, and didn't want to throw Hillary into the same bag. They're being real careful not to mince their words or say the wrong thing. I think that if

something like that happens and Hillary goes to jail or whatever the fuck would happen, Trump can beat Bernie but Hillary is going to crush Trump, I think. And that's what's going to happen. Hillary has lots of negatives. And Hillary's never been attacked like Trump will attack her.

And I feel like he frames her as someone who really can't be trusted, as a Washington insider, more of the same, another Obama administration. And that's going to appeal to his base really strongly. But then he's going to start talking about trade deals, and he's going to start talking about ambassadors being picked through nepotism, and some of that stuff is going to resonate with people who actually care about numbers. And then he's going to start talking about that wall. And I know we like to joke about the wall, but down on the border, I think there are a lot of people who are for that wall. If you lived in a border town, even if you had one, just one instance of an illegal coming

into your town and doing a bad thing, you might say, yeah, let's have Mexico build a wall. So I feel like that's going to be strong in that southwestern corner of the country where maybe Democrats normally do well. We also see him polling really well in places like Michigan, Pennsylvania, and he keeps talking about New York, but no one's done that since Reagan, and Reagan won 49 out of 50 states.

I hear you. I've asked about New York, too. I don't know what any of the polls say, like how he could possibly do, and I don't know if they'd matter. It's so far away. But it is interesting to me. I think of Trump as more of a New Yorker than Hillary.

Yeah, definitely. You know. That's what I think of. Yeah. I just, I could imagine Trump pulling his home state. I don't know who's predicted to win. Don't put too much stock in it, but it could happen. And if he gets the right running mate, like, you mate, what if he had Rubio in his running mate

and pulled Florida? Or if he had Kasich and pulled Ohio? He's going to take Florida anyway. Florida's like his second home. I feel like he can take Florida from Clinton on his own. I feel like he needs Kasich. He needs to talk to Kasich right now. He needs to be getting in Kasich's ear and be like,

look, you want to be the VP? All you got to do is say the word and you are the VP. Kasich just needs to drop right now, throw his sport behind Trump, and he's the VP and Trump is the next president. Okay, hypothetical. If Christie's the VP, can he carry Jersey and New York? No. Christie is a negative, I feel like. All that bridge stuff and his appearance in general is just so slovenly, so sloppy.

I don't feel like, it's just not visually pleasing to me, if that makes any sense. I don't, I mean, I sat through an hour of Christie and Trump yesterday. And I, you know, like I said, I could hit him with a shoe. It's not your, he's not your running mate. He's not. of Christie and Trump yesterday. And like I said, I could have hit him with a shoe. He's not your running mate. He's not. That guy is an attack dog, and that's why Trump's got him with him.

He eviscerated Rubio in the last debate that Christie was in. He tore Rubio apart, and that's why Trump likes him. That's why Trump's dragging him around the country so he can continue his evisceration of Rubio. Does he have a reason to keep him now that Rubio's gone yes he would make an excellent uh attorney general because of his uh legal background you know he was a da um during 9-11 when i was a da during 9-11 so um he's qualified for that position if um and of course sleepy black doctor someone put his book in my truck. I've got it. Does mentioning what you did during 9-11 make you better at that? I just want to throw out, I was a computer programmer during 9-11. Only Rudy Giuliani can throw that one out, I feel like, and have it mean anything.

When Rudy Giuliani says, I was the mayor of New York City during 9-11. It fucking means something because he was the mayor of America during 9-11 pretty much. He was the one out there calming everybody down, saying, we got control of this. It's all under control. So Bush went into hiding for three days. America was attacked, and Bush, to me, looked like a cowardly pussy

as he just hid in some basement for three days. Meanwhile, Rudy Giuliani is out there with a bullhorn standing on the Twin Towers vowing revenge and saying it's going to be okay. That's Bush you're thinking. No. Well, I'm talking about now. Giuliani was in the streets. Did Giuliani stand on the rubble with the bullhorn before Bush, though? I can't be sure.

Yeah, waving a flag tore his shirt off to reveal just a gray shirt just like the guy you know not much of a payoff but i i know bush did that with the bullhorn and whatever and he did some photo op with the fireman but giuliani was was actually fucking running shit talking about where emergency medical people were going how to do blood donate donations and stuff like that. Giuliani took leadership of the situation while Bush was hiding like a scared kitten. And that's why Giuliani is where he is because Bush was just absent. Where is Giuliani?

It's multi-million. I think he makes – he has a consulting firm think he makes he is a consulting no he owns a consulting firm and he like works with businesses and he might just be peddling influence I don't know but he it was making like 50 million a year or something like that like it was doing super public speaker yeah she says public speaker fat stacks good for him he seemed like a real nice guy uh i i i love this election third wife my uh my my dad told my mom or he she got word some way that i went to that trump rally and she was just furious i guess let him go that just sounds like something he do just let him go And I'm sure she was all red faced and cross-eyed and shit like she gets and who is who is your mom for oh?

I who fucking cares who my mom's for like I don't know like like if I had to guess like she probably just doesn't care She's but um Anyone I don't know I have no idea like. Her opinions on such matters are just meaningless. She's just ignorant and uninformed on anything like that. Her opinion is meaningless. She'd probably pick Sleepy Black Doctor or something like that. I don't know. Someone put his book in my truck. When I got out to my truck after the Trump rally,

there was Ben Carson's book right there in the back. I've got it. I'm never going to read it. It's good kindling. If I had heard the whole sleepy black doctor thing earlier, I would have bought a t-shirt that said that from him. Because that's hilarious. If he was just dozing off on C-SPAN.

The audio book could legit be a... Sleep aid. Yeah, I was going to... What's the term when you can't fall asleep? Insomnia. Insomnia solution. Yeah, insomnia cure. Growing up in the South was hard. Many times I faced adversity.

Well, he would really calm you down in the middle of a crisis or something. He'd put on some Henny in the background and just like the country down There's literally fireballs going off in the rose garden behind him. Everyone just needs to stay calm I know our reptilian overlords will be kind to us Just wouldn't this is not in his nature Knowing him he'd just be like, the end is nigh. If you have not repented, I am sorry. Even as your president, nothing can be done.

Blood of the Lamb. He's putting it across the heads of children in the Oval Office on camera. It's like, blood of the Lamb, you are blessed, my son. Across the top of the White house door like the passover i could totally see that coming that's the fear everybody acted like like donald trump is just mad man you can't give him the nuclear codes ben carson is such a nut job and such a such a theocratic looney tune that that i would much rather put trump i feel trump's much more pragmatic than ben carson ben carson will start talking about the old testament before he hits the nuclear launch uh button the worst possible thing is happening like john 316 tell me tell me what

happened sanders is now leading by one and a half percent in missouri miss! Missouri. I swear, Sanders people are going to talk about this win like he had a good day. They always do. These fucking idiots lose, you know,

like, we're further behind in the delegate count. Further behind, further behind. But do you realize how great a news this is? We were down by

20 points previously and we won Missouri by 1%. This is, this bodes well for our chances. Oh, my God. Yeah, we're just accelerating now. Like, no, they're... You delusional fucks.

So I have this feeling that something big is going to happen in this election. I don't feel like this is going to be one of those that you can see. Like, you know, you can watch a curve on a graph or something like that and predict. I feel like there's going to be something bad that happens. I feel like someone is going to get assassinated or someone is going to die or have a stroke or something.

All of the candidates look unhealthy. All of them are the best candidates. Look at Hillary. This dumpy, frumpy, overweight old lady under an incredible amount of stress and it's nothing new she's been living under an incredible amount of stress since the 90s like I feel like she could drop the 90s she was in the presence she was since they were like in their 20s or something like he became governor of um Arkansas like at 32 or something like that

Arkansas, like at 32 or something like that. It really makes you feel like a loser. Sanders, who... You got Sanders, who's in his 80s, and I know the rest aren't far behind, but God damn, he's so old. I believe Sanders is in his 90s. Oh, you're right. He's 74.

And then, you know, Trump is no spring chicken, although I will say, look, he was so energetic at that meeting. He really was. He didn't look tired. I love how you keep coming back to it. Now not even ironically. I keep coming back to the high energy, and it is a meme, and it's funny.

It's a tagline and all that. He exudes it. He really does bring that to the table. I saw Marco Rubio on TV yesterday, and he looked tired, and he sounded tired. He was stuttering a bit. Weird with all those amphetamines. You'd think he'd have more pep. I'm not getting behind that.

That's funny conjecture. I can't believe he's old enough to be president. He looks like someone who graduated high school in 2002. He just doesn't look very old. He's a 90s kid. Yeah, he's another person who's a 90s kid. What if he was campaigning as that and it was just like, you remember this? Just like bannersanners of ninja turtles and stuff like that nintendo's pokemon 2 you know super mario

brothers yeah i think they're all unhealthy and i think there's so trump is getting i read that trump is receiving more threats against him um he's by a magnitude uh by a magnitude 10 than Obama got. He's getting much more threats than anyone has ever gotten. Certainly not. Where are they coming from? Do they know? Everywhere. ISIS supervisors. Sure. They're coming from everywhere. They're coming from all over the country and all over the world on social media and letter form and phone calls and public statements. There's

lots of people saying they'd like to kill Trump I heard a guy yesterday on the way out wanting to hit Trump with an orange he was like is Trump gone yet they were like yeah he had an orange he is I wanted to hit him with an orange I was thinking like that'd be the last fucking orange you threw for a while motherfucker yeah they puts you in a place where they don't have oranges anymore. So Trump is only up in Missouri by 2%. Did I say that already? 2.5%. And Sanders is up by less than 2%.

Missouri is all over the place usually. There was no polling data coming out of Missouri. I don't know why pollsters didn't go to Missouri but it just seemed like no one was interested in them because I heard commentators mention the fact that there is no polling data out of Missouri. We don't know. And it's just like, why? Why not? You're a multi billion dollar news corporation. Why didn't you send one guy out there to like press the flesh

and figure this shit out? Yeah, they're calling Illinoisinois for trump so trump is trump is going to win every state except maybe missouri where he's currently leading by two and a half ohio and and ohio and and i feel that i feel like john what con john casey because he doesn't have an actual mathematical road to the correct amount of delegates what he's's doing feels like dirty politics and I don't like it and I wouldn't like it under any circumstances regardless of who the candidates involved were. If Trump were doing this to Kasich,

I would say it was dirty. Can I explain it to him? Alright, so here's the scoop. You need a certain amount of delegates to win it, right? And that number is like twelve hundred eighty three. Is that eighty seven? Eighty seven. And if you don't get that amount of delegates and you get delegates by how many votes you get in every state or percentage of them, then it goes to some smoky back room where the Republican elite, for lack of a better term, pick somebody that they want to be

the Republican nominee, that person that they'll run against the Democrats. So if you get enough delegates, then, you know, like you get the win. But what Kasich is doing is he can't win, right? Only Cruz can. So what he's doing is he's continuing to run in an effort to take delegates away from Trump and Cruz so that nobody gets enough delegates. And then the smoky backroom people can choose Kasich. He's playing spoiler. That seems like a good strategy, right?

It is, except that he's trying to win without getting more votes than the other people, and that's why it feels dirty. And the other issue is, I think he's trying to win without getting more votes than the other people, and that's why it feels dirty. And the other issue is, I think it's eight, Chiz. I think you need to win the majority in eight states to even be considered on the – but it's such a – So Chiz is saying – There's so many gray areas in there with the broker convention, the contested convention, what they can do, and the first ballot – after the first ballot ballot they're not held to their vote anymore, and a lot of stuff can happen. But the real bottom line is that if they go into this thing, and my math's not going to

be correct here, but let's say Trump has 700 delegates and Cruz has 600 delegates and Kasich has 150. That's probably not that far off of what we're talking about. And they put Kasich in. They say, no Trump, no Cruz, Kasich. All of those Trump supporters evaporate. He keeps talking about the people he's bringing to the party. They keep talking about how big the Republican numbers are,

so much bigger than the Democrats. It's because he's bringing new people who would not vote for anyone other than Donald Trump. If they put anybody but Trump in there, all of that evaporates and they lose. Trump's the only one that they can win with. Cruz could do very well, but he'll be another disappointing Mitt Romney-like candidate who goes up there and loses. He's a Tea Party Republican. He's not who you want. No, yeah. Trump is interesting to me because his positions aren't

too far from mine. He's a GOP without the religious crazy fuckery, right? Like he's not out there talking about stripping women of their rights much. He's definitely not talking about God all the time and praise the Lord and how he's going to direct his decisions on this and that. I think he's fairly neutral on Israel, right? And a lot of people are saying, like people who support him, neutral on Israel is great compared to where we are now with Obama.

Go on, do you think I'm wrong? Yeah, you're wrong. He said he was going to approach the thing with a neutral... The wording was weird there, and that black minister corrected it for all of us yesterday and made it known that Donald Trump

was a friend of Israel. And instead of going to the next Fox News debate, Donald Trump is actually going to a pro-israel rally of some kind so but look I feel like Donald Trump is doing what he needs to do to win the election I I don't believe he gives a fuck about Israel I think he'd look at that pragmatically I yeah my preference in a candidate is one who says the things that I want like who says what he means and means things that I like, too. With in this time, there just isn't one of those. So you're like, well, Trump says he's pro-Israel, but he's trying to win a popularity contest.

I believe he's actually not. You know, Trump says that he's, I don't know, whatever, in the corner of God, and the Bible directs all his decisions, but I believe that's horseshit. I have to make this compromise because no one out there is really lined up the way I'd like them to be.

Yes, I feel the exact same way. Trump is the most entertaining. He's my favorite to watch because of that. And unfortunately, and I mean this when I say unfortunately, he is also the closest thing to what I want that's out there.

I can't get behind Cruz. I could, I guess, get behind Kasich, but I wouldn't have any... I wouldn't be excited about it. It would just be like, ah, here we go. Are you excited about Trump, though? Yeah. I'm excited about Trump, and I'll tell you why. I think he'll do an okay job,

I guess. We'll see. I want to see. I want to see what happens. I'm interested. I want him to build the wall. I want to see what happens with it. I think it'll be fucking interesting to watch. Yeah, it'd be pretty surreal to watch the first guy putting a brick down, being like, this isn't a joke like

I'm not on punk. I'm doing I'm starting this wall like what he's saying in Spanish. Oh, that's great Spanish for wall what Spanish for wall alto is it alto? Why come on cheers? It's your job. She's don't want you from Spain Alto is that Is that wall? Is it tall wall? Parrothead. P-A-R-R-E-D. Parrothead? Not even close. Oh, I beat Chiz to it.

What does Alto mean? Tall. Okay. Alright, I was close. I think I see Alto in the... I think I see it in the high energy warning signs or something like that. I see Alta. It's going to be a tall wall. I think I see it in the high energy warning signs or something like that. I like your idea. Chiz has a great idea there.

There should be a work program for Mexicans where they can start constructing the wall. And when they lay enough bricks, they get in. That's how you get your citizenship. It takes like 100,000 bricks to get in. That would be so funny. Two years work, whatever. Maybe you get your whole family and they're laying the bricks for you so you can get into the US,

make that money, and send it back. It'd be a whole thing. You could really motivate. He's going to bring high energy to the Mexican populace. That's what we're talking about here. There would be revolts that the wall wasn't big enough because so many people would want to get their 100,000 bricks in and get their citizenship. That'd be the biggest fucking wall.

It'd be out of control. And you know, people laugh at the idea of the wall, but there are walls around the world thousand bricks in and get their citizenship. That'd be the biggest fucking wall. It'd be out of control. I want to see that wall. And you know, people laugh at the idea of the wall, but there are walls around the world that are successful and neat. Really? There was one in Berlin. There was. There was one in China. There's a big fucking wall around the Vatican that the Pope sits behind his entire

life and he had the gall to smear Mr. Trump over his wall. He's like, like ah walls just create divisiveness it's like you sit you live behind a giant fucking wall you live you you that that wasn't even good enough for you you had to say this is our country the vatican and we have a wall like nobody's arguing like that walls as a whole aren't useful like even little like when you're peeing at a urinal, that little wall between you and the other person peeing next to you,

that's almost a great wall. You know, that makes it way easier to piss. And that's just a very small wall. Imagine the good that could be done with a big wall. For some reason, the idea of building a wall down there has been tainted with this idea

that it's a racist wall or that it's a... I just think it's kind of stupid. It seems like it's going to cost so much money and not even stop anything. But Mexico's going to pay for it, so... No, they're not! He told me so.

He explained this thoroughly. He talked about the trade deficit. They're going to pay for this. He's going to make Mexico pay. They've been taken from us for too long, and Mr. Trump said that we're going to make them pay. So that's what I have to go on. But I like the idea of the wall down there.

I'd like to see the wall. But it seems like he's going to make them pay by continuing to have a really bad trade policy. He's like, look, if they don't do it, then I won't have a bad trade policy anymore. It's like, are we sure this is a good deal? He can leverage that if he wants, though. Not to be mean, but we're the United States, and they're in Mexico. We're the more influential, powerful country.

We have the leverage. I'm pretty sure, based on his language, he plans on stealing that $10 billion from them. I think he plans on saying, we're not going to pay we're going to owe them $10 billion and Trump's going to say no. And that's going to be him paying for the wall.

I'm pretty sure that's what's going on here. What, $10 billion? Is that the cost of the wall? Yes, he said the wall is going to cost $10 billion or something. Look, I'm not a member of Donald Trump's campaign, nor do I claim to be. Donald Trump talks about the trade deficit with Mexico being $58 billion, and he talks about the wall only costing $10 billion. He says that in the same breath.

And I think I did the math, and it's like $1,800 or $1,900 a foot. And that's quite a wall. That's a pretty serious wall. I want to see it built. I hope it's gigantic. I hope he puts his name on it, too. He said at one point, he's like, it's going to be a big wall. It's going to be a Trump wall.

Yeah, I hope they have bistros where you can get Trump steaks. Oh, that's great. There's going to be a big, shiny door right in the middle of it and that's where you're good where your legal immigration is i like that the door is shiny you know it's not like a toll booth or something it's well our side of the door should be it should be their side of the door it should totally be in the style of a casino right like a trump with flashing lights. There should be shiny doors that are always open with a chandelier in the middle of it.

And just big, gaudy, shiny fountains. Playing this month, a stable economy. Yeah, that'd be Siegfried and Roy playing the wall. Oh, didn't Siegfried get eaten by a tiger, though? Did that make him retire? I don't know. Which one got eaten by the tiger? I want to say it's Roy. I'm not even sure. Yeah, tigers are a big problem.

They're bad for people. You know what I heard, though? You know, I always believed that, too, but this turned out to be another myth, like that Russian pencil in space or whatever. It turned out that roy or whatever had like a stroke or a heart attack or something and the lion sensed it and was trying to like save him and but but it's a tie i think i said lion but it's a giant fucking tiger so you know there's no he can't really handle roy very gently and he kind of and roy was an old man so i think he kind of ripped roy's neck apart trying to carry him like a kitten or something like that did that turn out to be not true

what i just said yeah like you were saying no what i just said is true he had some kind of like stroke or heart attack and the lion was trying to help him but yeah that's what the lion was bad at uh treating heart attacks because yeah because the tiger i mean the teeth and you know you know how like a cat will grab a kitten by the nape of its neck and kind of carry it back to him like, oh, get back over here, you scamp. He tried to give him CPR by biting his jugular. So when it gored him to death as he screamed

and the blood soaked its white fur, it was trying to help. I mean, yeah, it was doing the best it could. But, you know, tiger medicine is at an early stage. Well, either those animals are smart because you always hear people saying, like, oh, those tigers are so smart. They're so tactical in the woods. Either they're smart or they really try and help

and they gore you to death by eating your head. Like, it can't be both. If your dog, who you think is really smart, one day you wake up and he's chewed off three of your toes, like, fuck that dog. It's not a very bright animal. I don't know. I think we give way too much credit to animals for being smart, one day you wake up and he's chewed off three of your toes. Like, fuck that dog. It's not a very bright animal. I don't know. I think we give way too much credit to animals for being smart, especially dolphins.

Dolphins are not that smart. Fuck that. Oh, it can recognize itself in a mirror. Oh my god. I can do that. Like, dogs can do that. You know, prairie dogs have words for humans, and they even have a different word for a human with a gun. Is it ee-ee-ee?

Yes. Yes. humans and they even have a different word for a human with a gun is it yes all right who came up with that well i suppose they're out there talking about us they noticed we pull up back in the ground well yeah it's still going on, but they've called North Carolina, Florida, and Illinois for Trump. He's up in Missouri by currently about 4%. I wanted to vote for Rubio, but it turns out he's just a boy. Jesus. Make it stop. And Sanders is up by 4% as we speak. So crazy, crazy, crazy. Anyway, he's still toast.

All right. So that was Painkiller Nearly, episode 82. I thought it was a good one. I like that sleepy black doctor.