Painkiller Already - PKN #84

Episode Date: March 31, 2016

It's PKN time baby!

recording now kyle you still good yeah welcome to pkn episode something at least in the 80s 84 84 84 all right so i just i'm gonna explain for people who like it i after the last pka a lot of people were like oh i don't like the new service what they don't know is that skype had completely fallen apart for us like that's why we switched to the new service um something happened and it got to be that like only chis could host and if one person talked it silenced the other ones and you all know how i like to think we're very good at interrupting we're outstanding at it core competency skype was busted it wasn't going to work and it certainly wasn't going to work for the last pka like we we all updated repeatedly like we definitely all

have the newest version but but we keep running like you're seeing when multiple people uh speak someone gets uh muted and and of course the fact that just wouldn't fucking work you know connectivity and and maintain staying in the call and and i like this better i i think it um what was the complaint potential to be better uh well the big issue was that you weren't able to participate while Tim was there because you were delayed. That was my internet connection, though. That wasn't this. It seems. I don't know.

There's just a lot of coincidences. Like, Kyle has... Undeniably, something happened to Kyle's internet connection in which it kind of downgraded recently. Something happened there. And internet connection in which it kind of downgraded recently. Something happened there. I started paying. But why would that make it get worse? Did you buy a lower service? I bought a better service.

I upgraded. They're just, like, screwing you after the fact. They're like, man, this guy's getting shit internet. So here's what I'm running into with this new uh this new internet line during the day it's great it was odd that we had that hiccup a moment ago because i've now switched to kitty's line but at night around 8 p.m till maybe four in the morning lots and lots of connectivity issues it'll it'll work for three minutes and then go out for one minute then it'll work for 10 minutes and then go out for one minute. Then it'll work for 10 minutes and then go out for two minutes.

And it's just, it makes like, I guess I was browsing the internet. Yes, that is internet time. And I feel like this rednecks at my fucking internet company. Don't get that. They're like,

well, we, we do our online shopping during the day. Whatever could you need internet for? And it's just like, I'm watching season two. I'm trying to finish Daredevil off and it's lots of issues.

I'm going to go and complain more. I'm sure before they'll come out and give me new lines and then the squirrels will get into them again because that's what happens around here. That's either here or there. Also be polite. You seem like you'd be good at that with customer service.

You want me to tell you what I did last time? I don't know if I told you guys this But also be polite. You seem like you'd be good at that with customer service. Like making a big enough scene. You want me to tell you what I did last time? I don't know if I told you guys this, but so last time, and the internet had been down. This has been maybe two years ago, but lots and lots of internet issues I was having. So much so that I went to a hotel one night, I think, to do the podcast. I may be wrong about this. Dedication. But in any case, why I think, to do the podcast. I may be wrong about this. Dedication. But in any case, why, I just need to do it.

So I go and, you know, I'm hot. I'm hot. I go into the internet office and I start complaining and stuff. And it's clear they're not listening to me. And so I start threatening. I'm like, listen, I do this podcast. And there are, I exaggerate greatly how many viewers there are. There's a million people.

I'm going on there tonight. and I'm going to tell you, the first thing I'm going to tell them is that you guys suck, that you overcharge me, that my internet service is bad. I'm going to tell them to tell their friends. I'm going to tell them to tell everybody they know that Gumlog Cable is the worst internet company they've ever heard of. And I'm not slandering you, ma'am. I'm telling the truth because this and that and this and that.

And she's like, hang on. And she gets on the phone, and she's like, this guy is on the radio. And I was like, he's getting on the radio tomorrow and he's telling a million listeners that we're terrible and he says he's going to say it every day until his internet gets back. And they had fucking internet trucks at my house the next day running internet lines.

So maybe I'll threaten them a little. We'll see. But it's terrible. It's awesome though I I just got threatened today do you want it want to read my threat today it was from a minecraft player all right hold on hold on I'm gonna so you guys won't make a difference to you but I'm blanking out everybody's screen so I don't accidentally show oh it's perfect I found it already. So a quick little preface to it.

This is a real threat, you think, or just a shitty hater threat? You be the judge. Okay. All right. Are you ready? Yes. I have recently... I have apparently threatened someone on Docs, saying they will be on a pasty. Now, a quick aside.

Docs is when you drop someone's documents. It's spelled D-O-X, but it's short for documents. And it's your social security number, your address, your real name, your phone number, your parent's name, stuff like that. They release all your personal information. This is especially effective against kids because what I'm doing is I'm getting you in trouble.

If I tell everyone to call your mom, you're fucked. I can mess with you all you want. You might just turn off your phone. But when I start impacting your parents, that's when there's trouble. They took it wrong and thought I meant docs. What I meant was they're about

to get shit on with my sword because I have a toothbrush texture pack. I don't know how toothbrushes and docs mean a thing. I want my refund for all the purchases I have ever made towards WoodyCraft, or I will sue you, Woody. I have contracts with 12 lawyers with Liga Magistar degrees, which I had to Google.

The Liga Magistar. And there's a fair chance you'll be taken down for fraud. I have proof of Matt disrespecting his members and only caring for money as if he was talking to coworkers. I can have you shut down. By the way, if you got a problem with my grammar, don't take it as some petty little kid trying to get his rank back. I enjoyed the server, but I didn't threaten nobody that i would

dox them that's what adults do is they reaffirm that they didn't do anything wrong but you know we're just making sure i would have said it directly even if i did my friend i was fighting and then mnbz commit i don't know what that means and then he gives me my home address and says don't meet me don't make me drag your ass to court woody and then he gives me my home address and says, don't make me drag your ass to court, Woody. And then he gives evidence. And the evidence is me talking to players. And what I wrote was, y'all so dumb you took a spoon to the Super Bowl. Now, this is the thing.

I go on my server and the players and I roast each other. You know, you're so dumb you sold your car for gas money, other. You're so dumb. You sold your car for gas money. You're so dumb. You went to the dentist to get your Bluetooth fixed. Stuff like that. And then they all start begging, roast me next, roast me next. And it's fun. And none of them are hurtful or anything.

That joke sounds fun. That's such a childish joke that I don't think anyone would see that a grown man would say it and try to hurt anyone's feelings. Right. Popsicle stick joke. You're not trying to get under anybody's skin or fuck with them. Yeah. They're mostly you're so dumb and stuff like that. You got your Bluetooth.

You're so poor you can't afford the newest equipment on Woody Craft. No, that's not what I would ever say, right? You went to the dentist to get your Bluetooth fixed. You took a spoon to the Super Bowl. You sold your car for gas money. Stuff like that. I never call them fat, ugly, poor, like anything that would hurt their feelings. It's always dumb usually.

So anyway, I wrote him back. And it looks like three different times he told people that they were going to put him on a pasty. And I said using my real name and including my real address doesn't do a lot to prove you don't dock people you know release their documents and uh the ban stands so anyway yeah i got threatened uh i guess i'm gonna have 12 lawyers shut me down soon my god oh goodness you must have a really strong case if he figured with all this evidence i can't just get one lawyer i need 12 12 to 12 to cobble this weird amalgam of misplaced non-connective information together

as some sort of case. I had to look up. Straight to the top. Illegal magistrate degrees. So to practice law in America, you need a jurist doctrine, something very close to that. Maybe you know it.

It's something like that, yeah. You need a JD degree. I always hear the abbreviation. You need to do JD. And it's basically a doctorate for lawyers. Jurisdoctor, yep. A legal magister degree is not enough to practice law in America.

Maybe he's from some other country or maybe he just googled lawyer shit. I don't know. What if you combine 12 of those Does that equal one real? Real lawyers if you combine 12 Who are still going through their education process kind of like if your health insurance sucks? They can't get you a doctor, but they can get like six vets So so yeah, so we could probably rank that under not a real threat

yes i'm gonna say not a real threat as well i mean he meant it but it's he's full of shit yeah i think that's accurate i i think that um if you were to reach out to real life attorneys and find out like i don't even know um this this person like i i kind of recognize his name but he doesn't strike me as like like if he was one of the woody craft big spenders i'd recognize his name and i just kind of sort of like i've seen it before but what does he mean i'm trying to put the pieces together for what he was saying where he's like no i didn't say i was going to dox that guy i just use uh oral hygiene products as my armor or whatever that was. So you can change your resource pack.

It's like you can reskin what things look like to you, right? So you follow that much, right? Maybe your sword, you prefer your diamond swords to be blue and sparkly and some guy wants them to be small and no frills and you can change the look of Minecraft to you. I don't understand how saying you're going to be on a pasty which is just totally a thing like so pastebin is a website where people release everyone's docs it's like the thing and to say you're going to be on a pasty oh that's what that means yeah um

i i meant you're going to get shit on with my sword because I have a toothbrush texture pack. I don't understand how that explains the pasty reference at all. No. Well, you're dealing with a child with very poor grammar, so. Probably not great teeth either, based on this. I enjoyed the server, but I didn't threaten nobody that I would dox them. He didn't threaten nobody. Yeah, that's true, actually. He didn't threaten nobody.

Yeah, there's probably a few people there. It doesn't make sense. Yeah. He didn't threaten nobody. That's true, actually. He didn't threaten nobody. Yeah. There's probably a few people there. It doesn't make sense. The double negatives. There has to be something in his head that made sense as he was saying that about the toothbrush. This is like that movie, the number 23. There's got to be a reason there in his head. If anyone knew, it would be you.

It's your server. My guess is – here's my guess I'm totally inventing this I think that pasty is probably an oral hygiene product in some other country and oh like toothpaste yeah yeah like like it's toothpaste or um uh a toothbrush or dental floss or something and when I said you're going to be on a pasty, I meant, you're going to be on my toothbrush style. No one has a toothbrush as a sword in Minecraft. I'm on Minecraft every day, all day for years now.

And I've never heard of anyone having a toothbrush as their, it's laughable, he's lying. Yeah. The band stands. That's ridiculous. The whole, man. Hey hey do you want to hear so you did the three gun i did the three gun okay yeah it went poor it'll go better next time it has to it has only way to go is up yeah so i got there with my friend and we weren't in the

same squad which is a bummer because like i was like hey we should sign up in the same squad but i thought he was bringing like four other guys and it turned out that like for one reason or another like some of them signed up but they didn't sign up quickly enough and some of them couldn't make it they had conflict so it turned out to be just by my buddy and i okay fine but we're not in the same squad. So like they split us apart. And we went the day before to like practice and sight in my rifle and stuff. And I'm not an expert at sighting in a rifle. I thought I did it well, but the, the only place I could go was 25 yards. And that kind of sucks. Kyle probably, maybe you both know this, but if you sight in at 50, it's kind of nice because you're on target at 50 and then you're about on

target again at 200 it's actually 225 i think but you know it's a it's a good way to sight in i had to sight in at 25 so it was really off target like still rising i'm not exactly sure when it like gets on target again on the downward but um i i just did my best and also the range didn't have like benches or anything so i'm just sighting and holding it from my shoulder which maybe that's something you do in these competitions like you don't show up with your gun sighted you show up and then you shoot some and sight them in you do show up with your gun sighted i did it the day before but i did it myself and i'm not particularly good at it and the range wasn't a good place to do it i thought so um i wish I had like a bench or something

and it would have made it easier for me to do. So I showed up with what I thought was mostly sighted in. And I think of myself as a safe shooter. Like I don't tend to muzzle sweet people. I don't touch the trigger unless I'm going to shoot. I put it on safe when I'm not shooting and stuff. But at the three gun competition, there are a lot of specific steps.

You know, like you load the shotgun beforehand, but you don't have one in the chamber until you're about to go, at which point you do put one in the chamber and then like put one more in. And like the steps. So you never walk around with one in the chamber, but you can walk around with a loaded gun.

On the pistol, you can walk around with one in your chamber, but it stays in your holster and you don't take it out. But people tend to walk around with it being completely unloaded until it's nearly their turn, even though you don't have to. And then there's the AR, which I guess you don't load until – because it's the first thing you use. You don't load until you're about to go. Well, I'm nervous, you know, and I'm asking questions and people are like, you know, is this your first time? I'm like, yes. And it's the first thing you use, you don't load until you're about to go. Well, I'm nervous, you know, and I'm asking questions, and people are like, you know, is this your first time? I'm like, yes. And it's funny.

There's a rack there, a gun rack. It holds like 12 shotguns or something. And they're all there, and they're all long. They're like four feet long, except the tube that holds the shells are like five feet long. They're like a foot longer than where the shell comes out because it holds even more. So they don't have to reload very much. And then there's mine, my Remington 870 in silver. It's like two feet shorter.

The guy stands. He's like, huh. So someone hasn't spent $3,000 on their shotgun yet. You know, that was me. So I kind of felt out of place in a lot of ways. I didn't have the right Batman utility shit on my belt, like these shotgun shells or whatever. I had some because I did prepare,

but they didn't have everything I needed. And so I've got like a pocket full of shotgun shells and stuff like that. And they're walking me through the process and like, I can't explain, I'm nervous. And there's a woman, she was holding the like timer above my head and also walking me through like loading the gun and stuff. So for example, before you round, you can look through the scope scope sort of get your sight picture and just be sure you're happy and then you load well like i had us hadn't like mentally rehearsed the steps for this and when i went to load i put the i tried

to put the magazine in backwards with the bullets facing the wrong way that's a thing i would never do yet no that's like something that like the guy who was hot shit at the Marine boot camp, he finally gets in a firefight and he's like shaking as he's trying to load it and smoking a cigarette like those guys in the trenches. Like just so stressed out in the moment. Kyle, I've shot with you. Have I ever put the bullets in backwards? No.

No. You've never put the bullets in backwards. Not once. No. Yeah. And then I get – and here she is. And by the way,'s uh she was really nice she was sweet I don't mean to knock her at all but something about her at like she's wearing

like I think she's on like team Bernelli or something and she had like this Bernelli like like you know what the pro cod players wear that like performance fabric Benelli Benelli my mistake and uh she was wearing like they weren't yoga pants. They were tight like yoga pants, but they had pockets and shit on it. They look like women's competitive shooting pants. And I don't know. Likely. Her whole scene was just intimidating to me.

And then the other guy was like bearded and he's like six, nine or something. And anyway, she's like, no, no, but let's go the other guy was like bearded and he's like six, nine or something. And anyway, she's like, no, no, bullets go the other way. And I'm just like, I didn't even apologize. It was just like, oh, can you believe I did that? You should have been like set the bar even lower and would have been like, oh, just like the movie. So on the AR course, there were three targets that were really far away maybe i'm gonna call them dinner plates in 100 yards right and my scope was five times which to me is a little not quite enough for 100 yards but you can hit it and uh it took me maybe five shots to hit those

three that were really far away and then the next one call them like t plates a little smaller but at 50 yards i'm guessing and uh i sort of started hitting my roll you know i was like maybe hit three in a row miss one hit the fourth and uh the guy goes stop and i don't know what i did wrong but i do know there's a lot of opportunities to fuck up like if you so much as look around or sweep or whatever like this could be a huge mistake so um i just took my finger shooting at a time correct right right i'm like last everyone's gone before me everyone's watching uh they did it alphabetically so like everyone is already gone which was nice because i got to see them and i learned some stuff along the way and uh i don't know why he stopped me at this point

like i can't figure it out at all and um he's like are those green tip bullets and i said no they're they're not and they weren't um for people that don't know i'm sure kyle instantly knew green tips are like armor piercing steel core bullets and uh um i take my my magazine out and i clear the chamber and i show them and they're not green tips so um but they were sparking when they hit the targets that's why he found when i hit the closer ones he stopped me and um they're they're sparking and he's mad at me right the other people like i was making some friends and stuff and and they were like you know wondering what went wrong and and the girl was really cool but the the guy seemed to be running it or maybe involved in the

organization of it i got a mad at me vibe from him and he's like you're damaging my targets i'm like i'm really sorry i had no idea and uh sure enough they're not green tips like they don't you shouldn't have apologized for that shit fuck him at the end of the day you are a customer at his place of business and you do not yell at him well i'm damaging his stuff anyway i'm a work using it turns out he held a magnet to it and it was steel core it just wasn't marked as such and i bought it online so like you know i i just i found a good deal online i bought all this five five six um yeah that was as far as i knew i wouldn't know i mean i bought it like two years ago so um i could show it to you but it would say it on the... Yeah, if I could see it, that would help a ton. If it's not too far.

It's not far. It'll take me one second. Hold on. So is that like a legal thing then? Like they legally have to have green tip on steel core ammo? So, no. So SS-109 is the code for it, is the designation. And they paint the tips of those rounds green.

It's a military thing as far as I know. But they're all green. They're rounds green. It's a military thing as far as I know, but they're all green. They're painted green, you know it. And they have a steel core penetrator in the middle, and if you shoot steel, you get a spark, and a lot of times it'll shoot through fucking steel, especially if it's mild steel. That's why, like that body armor that I'm always talking about, that AR-500 stuff, it's got to be AR-500 steel to stop that.

Okay. So these green tip bullets is it like that little plastic tip that's like stuck in the top that's green or is it just painted they just painted it says ama on the bottom does that mean anything to you no not the ama and then there's a 12 and this is symbol. It almost looks like the copyright with the C with the circle around it, but I can't.

It's pretty small. Almost match grade ammunition. Yeah. To me, one of the big questions I had was, should I have known better, right? These are unmarked green tips. Is that a mistake anyone could have made? Some guys were

looking at it, they're like, yeah, I bet these are 62 grain. 62 grain are usually steel tip or green tip. I'm like, this guy can tell grain visually? To me, that's quite the magic trick, but maybe people can. I don't know. You can tell off visually like that to me that's quite the magic trick but maybe people can um

i i don't know you'll be able to tell off sometimes um what i'm just wondering how this happened that's odd is that is it uh can i see the round again like i don't need to see it up close or anything but just oh yeah never mind what were you looking for um i i was i was wondering if it was a brass case or not sometimes the steel case russian stuff is uh that stuff's steel core but it doesn't have green tips on it it's not painted um so what happened once you'd shot did he just say all right you're done yeah that is a disification. So a disqualification is an all day thing. There's, there's a couple of mistakes you can make. One is a procedural

and that just adds a lot of time. Um, but disqualifications mean that like, I thought maybe I just, there were, there were six rounds. I thought maybe I'd do the other five and like bomb ammo or find ammo or something. I think my, the friend i went with like me brought enough ammo to do the competition 10 times so you know i could have just whatever slipped him some appropriate amount of money or whatever and be fine but with a dq you're dq'd for the day and that's what happened to me i i get so like and that was that was rifle pistol and shotgun that they disqualified you from yeah so the way that it worked is like you shot the AR, and once you were ready to move to the next one,

you put it on safe, you dumped it in a trash can, which wasn't a bad system. It sounded kind of low rent to me, but when you saw it done, it's like, oh, it's soft. It doesn't damage the gun, and it's like a real obvious sort of pointed in a safe direction, and it's the right size. Anyway, dump it in a trash can, you go to the shotgun, you shoot shoot all those you put it back on the table on safe and then you shoot your pistol

which has been on your hip this whole time and uh i never made it to the shotgun or the pistol because i got a one gun competition i did yeah of the six rounds there you know there's like 18 guns right six times three i did them. Well, halfway through and they stopped me. And, uh, and that's that. So I looked at my friend now, my friend and I were practicing the day before and I got the vibe that we were similar shots, you know, I don't know if he's better than me or I'm better than him, but I felt like we were in the same class of, of competency and he got last place. So yeah. And so after he found that I got disqualified,

he's a general contractor. And it turns out that he had some painters who weren't doing the job well enough. So he felt like he had fires to put out. And when he learned that I got disqualified, he's like, let's get out of here. And I'm like, no, no, no, you don't have to do that. You know, like I'll watch you. I could watch you all day I could watch you part

of the day you know whenever you want to go you know we'll go or whatever and uh I he didn't say it as much but I got the vibe that he was happy to go uh he got last plate like there were there were 72 people there that day and he got 72nd place in the one event he did so i don't know if he would have picked up steam or not but i felt like the two of us probably one of those things where it's like you go with a friend and then if it's it's like if you went to a movie where if i went with the two of you and we all got to the movie and suddenly kyle's like oh fuck i got an emergency and you're like oh something with the kids and you guys leave it's a movie we weren't going to be talking anyway but the experience of sitting through it isn't the same you know like

i'm just alone now like i'm not as motivated i think there was a part of one he had a business fire to put out right so that was pulling him away i think he was feeling a certain amount of stress because he had to crack the whip for painters or something. And two, when we got there, we quickly realized that this was the Olympics. Can I step in here? Because I already know where you're going with this. Go ahead. So the problem with the regun and one of the reasons that I don't get into it

is because it's a difficult entry point to this sport. Everyone who's there like you said i i know that shit they've all got that shit and whether you're going to some sort of trap shooting thing or sporting clays like like i've got the equipment for that i've got the equipment i've got the right shotgun for what for for three gun i've got a i've got a benelli m2 with a long tube i don't have the right pistol i don't have the right pistol i don't own the right pistol for that i would have to borrow one and i don't own i own the ar-15 i've

got the ar-15 that i would ideally want for that i suppose so like i've got the shotgun and the rifle but i don't have a pistol that i would feel comfortable taking to that thing that i it's called a race gun a lot of guys shot 45 um but there were a lot of things about it that made it really low recoil so the follow-up shot could be quick and on target and uh then the bottom of it was flared so they could put a magazine in and even if they were kind of off target because it's it's a flared you know like cone at the bottom almost if you hit the side it just slides in and um they had like red dot opticals on it and stuff i just had a like a home defense smith and wesson mmp9 um

my impression of it was while my ar was not as like cool as theirs i don't think i would have done any better with their ar maybe if i'd spent more time sighting mine in but it wasn't like you know an m4 ar 15 variant kicks too much or whatever like my error was fine my shotgun was dramatically like i didn't even get to it but it was wildly out of class like it is kind of uncool to show up with the shotgun i came with i didn't know that everyone would be so well equipped and three thousand dollar shotguns and then on the pistol side again i'm not even sure those targets would have fallen over with a nine very well they were like i am that's a problem i oh so you have to knock these targets over they were i was going to ask like what would be the

incentive to not just use a pistol with a bunch of 22 ammo and get a bunch of shots no recoil it was a steel target right with a plate welded to the bottom of it and then it sat on a plate so you had to hit it hard enough that it fell off and um if it doesn't fall off it doesn't count if it turns that doesn't count you should have hit it better like they specifically said that so i might have had some hits where they didn't fall off with my nine millimeter but i'll i'll never know uh but yeah they they all shot these. Go ahead. I shoot a lot of steel, and I see that 9mm does that all the time.

It'll plink it and bump it and turn it and stuff, but I like.45 anyway, because I like my 1911s, but the 1911 isn't the proper thing to have at a thing like that. You need more ammo capacity, I'm sure. I guess I'd want an F. I'm not exactly sure what I'd want. It'd probably be an HK.

Maybe a Glock. Does anybody use revolvers in those competitions? I don't even know if you can, but definitely no one did. I don't know. I've never gone to that kind of competition, but I imagine some old school cowboy coming in and tearing it up. Some Smith & Wesson. There were 17 shots, so if you didn't miss anything you'd be fine

basically there were um i'm trying to get this right i don't know i got to figure it out but there were half of them were steel and then half of them were like these cardboard silhouettes and you had to hit the cardboard twice and then knock the steel off and if you hit everything right then you shot 17 times well what a disappointing first three gun competition for you that sucks there were a lot of really nice people there like there was one guy i met his name was richard and uh he's like is this your first time and i'm like yeah yeah you know how about you he's like it's my second time so all of a sudden i thought we were like new brothers like i could see that his equipment was better, but in my head, like he was me last time.

And then he just got a new shotgun. And you know, I, I thought of him as a guy who had new hockey equipment, right? Mirka, you know what that is guys with all new gear, top to bottom,

they suck. They're just learning to play. I want some guy. That's the most clear thing ever is when you saw a goalie come in and their pads are just clean and neat the original colors are there there's no black scuffs from the puck you know that guy's yeah that's gonna be terrible so uh um so i thought we were like new brothers and then he he shot and it was like like you betrayed me richard richard you betrayed me you were very good at this and you

implied that you were new. And I was talking to another guy about it. I'm like, that guy's doing great. He was like, he told me it was his second time. And he's like, yeah, well, you know, he trains every day for this. Oh, no, no, no, second time today. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then I also, like Kyle said, apparently 3-gun isn't the place to start. You know, like it takes a lot of equipment. And maybe if it was the second 3-Gun, it might have been his hundredth competition of some sort. 3-Gun is almost like, what's that Olympic sport where you got to like ski and like do a whole bunch of bullshit? So there's a biathlon that you might be thinking of where they cross country ski and shoot. Yeah, yeah yeah sure like you need a lot of fucking equipment to just start doing that right like it's like oh i need this incredible rifle and some skis like it's not a low i thought it was at all i thought it was like like everyone who has guns has an ar a shotgun and a pistol

right we put together this thing so all you good old boys could use all of them you know i that's what i thought it was like you know it's more fun if you just bring all your guns come on out it'll be a good time and then i go there and everyone like dude if there were 12 people in my squad there were like eight squads or something so if there were 12 in my squad or 10 80 of them seem to be sponsored by gun companies like they just that or they were dressed like they were sponsored but they seemed very good and and i'm talking to a guy and i'm like yeah it's my first time you know i hope i do this all right i hope i'm safe he's like oh yeah watch that guy he's or that guy yeah

he's a really good one to watch or that guy oh like i think they were traveling from like all over the east coast to come to this competition and then there's me just fucking goofus with you still had a flashlight and a shotgun so you should you thought it would be and you showed up and it was like it off it was like all these alan bolts involved in taking the flashlight off. I didn't want to do that. It doesn't weigh that much anyway. Maybe there's a night.

Maybe I go last and it's nighttime. You never know. What are you asking in all seriousness? When is the gorilla section of the competition? Will I be hiding by the road? The girl I talked about, the one who made me nervous enough to put bullets in backwards she was hitting collaterals with her shotgun like as she's lining it up she's like she found out where to stand so that she could hit a collateral and she got two collaterals if i remember right while she was doing it and uh smart yeah just i I don't know how well she did overall, but she was clearly good at the sport.

And I wasn't. If I do a shooting competition again, I don't think three guns is the place to start. No, don't you hate that when you show up for something that you think is going to be like and everybody gets together and we kind of build each other up? Yes! We kind of just, through power of sheer will, we build each other up. And then you show up and you're like, oh, man like i was only thinking like that because i'm the one guy that needs to be brought up everybody here has already been brought up they're just champions so many things are like that though you go there and everybody who's there it's not their first

rodeo they've got and they're in they're wearing the uniform and they've got the right equipment and everything and it's intimidating if you don't. I don't like going to stuff like that. I always like with paintball and stuff. It's not that I play paintball 10 times a year but I'm not going to show up unless I've got my shirt on and my paintball gun and everything.

I recommend to you a real fun shooting sport. I don't know if you'd be into it but if you're shooting 100 yard scoped rifle stuff from a bench oh it really doesn't you know that takes a lot of the bullshit out of it um you know it also takes anything where you've got to get all stuff out i feel like i can lay down and load up after you know and stuff uh one of the tricky things about three gun is it just seemed like there were 50 steps to remember to be safe you know like okay you can load your shotgun put it on the rack but then after you take it off the rack and put it on the

table now you can chamber around and that might seem obvious to people listening but you know i'm watching everyone else do it and i didn't notice that they didn't chamber around i didn't too but i feel like i was lucky i didn't chamber because i could have well it explains what you did worse than you would have thought like you're trying so hard to put on that front of like i belong here i've been here that like you're focusing more on you know the actual procedural shit than on just getting in the right headspace of all right how am i going to hit that right like right i don't know there's some things i just don't want to introduce competition into like really fun stuff like shooting. The most competition I want is go out with some friends

and see who can hit the most skeet in a row or something. I don't want to make it some hyper-competitive thing where there's – and it's always some giant fat guy who couldn't run 60 yards with that gun in need of anything, but's got like that giant you know like front backpack where he's like god forbid i lean over for ammunition i'll just do this like an otter and feel around my giant belly like i don't know and they're the people who are cocky about it i don't i don't like those kinds of shooters in my head i was like how would kyle have done at this competition and you know why you don't know for sure i was like, how would Kyle have done at this competition? And while you don't know for sure, I was like, I think he would have fit in.

I don't think he would have stood out on either side. They all would have known who he was. Yeah, they probably would have. But Kyle would not have made a fool of himself. I don't think he would have won, and he certainly wouldn't have lost. He'd just be somewhere in that pack. I would have had a hard time with that procedural stuff too. And I definitely get nerves when there's procedural stuff,

when it's like, all right, A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I. Okay, we're ready to go. Good to go. But what happens after I shoot? After I shoot, it's G, H, F, I. It's like you're trying to do the outfit backwards now. Okay, so here's the thing. I told you you shoot the AR first, right?

And then you make it safe and you put it in the trash can, the barrel, whatever. I have to ask, making it safe, does that involve clearing the chamber or just flipping it to safe? Because what exactly is safe? You know, like on a pistol or like at the shooting range, they kind of want to see that you take it out of the chamber and then like lock the bolt open so you can see inside. Everyone can see like from four feet away that this gun's unloaded. Is that what safe is? Or does it just mean flipping the switch? You would have been wrong, which I had to ask.

They just meant flip the safety to safe, dump it in the thing, and start running. And then you ask, okay, so I can kind of assume the shotgun means the same thing just put it on safe and point it down range and you run away from it to go to the pistol part but like there were a million little procedure things that i was getting my head around and everybody there like even as they were given the instructions in the morning like there was this big sort of roll call thing um it was like everyone knows the deal here you know we're gonna be doing it yeah and even like squad two you go out to the squad two a squad one you go by the house but i don't see any fucking houses here like you know like where's that like i don't know the deal

i don't know the deal at all if there was a house there was there was like a forest of trees you had to get in your car and drive back where you came from and there was a house, there was like a forest of trees you had to get in your car and drive back where you came from, and there was a house there. And that was where Squad 1 went. I didn't know that. Were you trying to outsource responsibility for learning? Like, this guy's got a question. No? Thought I saw a hand.

Thought I saw a hand over here. You look confused. I think he wanted to know where the house was. Yeah. It's honestly, that reminds me of the first time I ever went with a friend to a Magic the Gathering tournament and he was super into it I just went

and I figured it was going to be like alright I'm sitting here my buddy Max is sitting next to me if I have a question I can be like what the fuck does this card do what does this mean nay nay not the case they're like alright friend you go way the fuck over there and they put me with a Korean kid. Not good.

Bad sign. No, like he didn't speak much English. Oh, great. Like he didn't speak hardly any English. And so like everybody else, he played best of three in the rounds. Everybody else was like finishing up their second game. And we were still in like the beginning phases of our first game. I had to call the ref over where I'm like, soon lee i don't think you can do that he's like uh yes i can do this and it's like i

don't know like i don't know enough about this game to say no but i feel like you're cheating me i need a ref over here again and it's like everybody looks at you as the idiot but you can't let your guard down or people will take advantage of you as they have those those fuckers those magic the gathering players don't be don't be swayed by the fact that he's got dorito crumbs or people will take advantage of you, as they have. Those fuckers, those Magic the Gathering players, don't be swayed by the fact that he's got Dorito crumbs all over himself and kind of unkempt. No, that guy's a ruthless motherfucker. He's going to those competitions just like that fat guy

with all the bullets in his pouch. Exact same thing. I like how you keep making the otter arms to get to the bullet. Let me put my bullet away. I'll be right back. Oh, I can't seem to find my 22. All right. Let's talk about the video game. Age of Mythology.

Okay. So last night, I was playing. I've been playing the campaign for it, just trying to remember. There's a couple new ones that weren't around when I played it. This game came out, like, 12 years ago. And I was playing online. I'd got, like, one online victory in, like, years ago. And I was playing online. I'd got like one online victory in like the four games that I've played

since I restarted playing like the last week. And I started to get a little bit too confident. Like I got the one win and I was like, all right, someone's coming into their own. Looks like I'm decent at this again. Played last night for three hours. The longest online game of Age of Mythology one-on-one I've ever played.

This whole map was like emptied of resources. Me and other fucker and i thought i was doing great i thought like i was sending in troops i was like just destroying him i felt like i hit his troops would be coming into my my zone i'd be like no get the fuck out of here send my risk this is uh agent mythology okay thanks yeah i'm sending out my spearmen, stopping them. I feel like I didn't realize that this entire game, for like two hours, three hours maybe, I was like all of my energy was going to like stopping his like distraction attacks. And his distraction attacks were so good that I thought they were real attacks. Because he was sending like, usually when you're getting like, you know,

foe attacked, they're sending in a bunch of like shitty units like ah you're not really sending in archers like all your good giants and stuff are back there but no he was implementing that sending them at me and i feel like i'm staying right in the game like two and a half hours in it we're on an island surrounding the outer perimeter is water i haven't been paying much attention to a navy at all i just have fishing boats i march my semi-okay army out towards his base. I'm all in I'm like I don't make an impact here I'm gonna fucking lose this I'm almost to his base. I start attacking his fortresses. It's too empty It's too empty. It is something is awry I look on the mini map and a horde of transport ships are landing on my beach

Hundreds of units are pouring out. I tell my troops to retreat. Back to the base! Back to the base! I say, we're losing everything. We can't return from this. If this is lost, we have to get back. We're running back across the map. Now troops that are fresh from his base are saying,

gather forth and chase him back to his base. He's got a force behind me now. I'm halfway back to my own base, and all of my farms have been destroyed. My temples are in ruin. The fortress that I had there that was kind of keeping it all together, protecting my gold collectors, ravaged, ravaged. Just get back to my base. I tried for maybe five minutes to recover.

Sadly, as I'm sitting there, Melissa's asleep next to me. I'm looking at the clock. It's 1.30 in the morning. I realize I just did my own version of Civ, and I'm just sitting there, and he sends in one final attack. It's wiping me out, and I don't want to give him the satisfaction of winning just by beating me to death, so I resigned. But, God, I can't imagine doing it three times longer in Civ

and still losing. It is. We played... So, just to stay on that one topic, I downloaded the game and all the DLC yesterday. I think it was $35 for everything. Yeah, we're going to play that tonight. Yeah, I'll play tonight. I've got to get my work done.

We're filming on Wednesday with this flamethrowers. And then I can get you your flamethrower Wednesday. Or Woody. So hurrah, you get a flamethrower. Then I can get you your flamethrower Wednesday, or Woody. Hurrah, you get a flamethrower soon. Red or white? Those are the options these days. Red. I'm flexible, really. Whatever. Anyway, about the game

you were playing. Yeah. I played maybe an hour of it. I'm just getting the gist of things. I'm still learning about collecting. It seems there's gold, food, and I'm just getting the gist of things, right? I'm still learning about collecting, you know, it seems there's gold, food, and maybe wood? Something like that that I'm trying to collect. Gold, food, wood, and then the lightning

at the bottom is favor. That's how much the gods like you, and you have to use that to buy mythological units. Okay, so I haven't gotten that deep into it, but I got the basic gist of things, you know, moving troops around and how the command and control and all that stuff works. That's all pretty simple compared to Civ.

It looks to me like it focuses a lot more on the micro version and less on the macro. Can you spectate? I'm looking at... Yes, you can. Yeah, I saw... I'm not that experienced with the online version, but I did

see that you can invite people off your Steam list and then you can set someone to spectate only... I'm not that experienced with the online version, but I did see that you can invite people off your Steam list, and then you can set someone to spectate only. I'm not sure if it works well, but you can. Part of me wants to livestream it. Let's do it. Not play. I am not interested in playing. This is not a thing that appeals to me.

Are you aware of the look and feel of the game and what's up with it and everything? I imagine it to be like, you know in Star Wars when Chewbacca played that chess game with the characters that beat each other? Something like that. Oh my god, I thought that was the coolest game for the longest time when I saw that as a kid.

That's literally how I pictured it. I'm like, yeah, it'll be like that. Not 3D, of course, but you know, like Civ, but more close up. It's true. Yeah. Yeah. picture done like it'll be like that not 3d of course but you know like sieve but more close up it sure yeah yeah yeah what i liked and what i think i'm going to kind of get addicted to maybe if i if i get into this thing is the the micro control of the units like i'm just click click click click click click click click like trying to make them swarm attack stuff and like pulling units out when i need to and i know i'm nowhere near as fast as as someone who's even decent at it but still I'm enjoying like every time I save a unit or get a kill that I

probably shouldn't have gotten so we'll have some fun I think it'll be good yeah it's fun to like have a big battle and it's not just sending in like this attack attack attack like you're involved the whole time like you're watching and suddenly they send in another fire giant or something or a mountain giant or cave troll, who fucking knows. You have to adjust real time and be like, alright, get a hero up there for the myth unit.

Bring back the archer. I don't know. It's fun. It's a lot of fun. I think you'll be good at it because your mind works that way, at least if you're good at Civ. Yeah. Chiz and good at Civ. Yeah. Chiz and I played Civ. We played a 2v2 the other day and lost. It was pretty upsetting.

It was my first game in a really long time. I played against you in 2v2. Yeah, you lost that as well. I'm not even going to... Oh, Chiz is going to want to play Age of Mythology. Chiz was writing about playing Age of Mythology as well, which is disconcerting if what you've said

about video games is true at all, and that Chiz is just magically great at all of them. Alright, so he's no MLT pro, but he picks them up fast, and he gets to a really good level within a day or two. He says he's already played a few hours. I would argue that Kyle and Chiz are very similar

in terms of Civ skill, and Kyle's put more hours into it. You think that's fair? Yeah. It's hard to know now about the hours, because I think I had a lot of worthless hours. I think our actual worthless hours spit there, beating up on AI

when it's just pub stomping and you're not getting any better. You're just staying theping and you're not getting any better. You're just staying the same and just pressing A over and over. But I think we both spent a pretty similar amount of time under the tutelage of Filthy and that group of guys who does all that shit. And yeah, I'd say we're pretty similar in skill level. My daughter has a lot of worthless hours in Civ. But when I say worthless hours, I mean like, you know, it's turn-based, right? So she'll leave it on and go to bed

and then go to school and then come back. And she racks up like 20 hours or something. And she hasn't even been playing. And now she's like, yeah, you know, I'm pretty good at Civ. I've got like 5,000 hours. No, you don't. No, you don't.

No, you don't. I got 14. I think I got 1,400. No, you don't! No, you don't! I got 14... I think I got 1,400. 1,400, which is not a small amount of time. And I'm sure some of those are worthless hours. You could probably take 300 out of there. But still, 1,100 hours of doing anything.

As worthless as hopes, or worthless like you beat the AI? I don't know. I would discount 300 of my hours at least. Beating AI. Leaving the computer on maybe and beating AI. AI is good in Civ. Don't let me discount

the AI because the bonuses it gives the AI is almost... There are levels. I play on the harder difficulties most of the time. It is challenging, but it's not challenging in a way that makes you better at multiplayer. You get better at beating AI, not better at beating people. The first two levels, I feel like I can beat every time.

And then starting at the third one, sometimes I can. And there's five levels, right? It goes up to deity. I usually play one level below deity. That might be four levels. I don't know. I'm really good at it.

A game like Civ, playing AI is levels i don't know i'm really good i used to beat him a lot a game like civ playing ai is a i don't know it would strike me as a really good way to get good at the game right it's a good way to learn the macro of the game but it's not a good way to learn like actual strategies for beating other human beings which is what chiz and i are into the most playing four person free-for-all on a custom map with custom settings. You learn how to play the game and what the buttons do and what buildings do what and such, but when you're fighting other people, sometimes it comes down to how many crossbows can you build and how soon can you build them.

And that's the entire game, you know? And that's not always the case with the AI where you've got to deal with delegates and bullshit i feel like there's a lot of baseline knowledge you need to know in civ just to get going like the tech tree comes to mind right like you hey do you want to build pottery or compasses right now and you're like well fuck what are the ramifications oh my god that's a decision yes oh that's so boring well it's so so the there's there's a tech tree and certain, you need prerequisite technologies to build certain buildings, structures, units, etc, etc. So it's important that, and it's a tree with branches as you can imagine, and so if you go off to the left to like arts and philosophy, that means you're disregarding maybe bronze

working or something that might help you defend yourself or attack better. So you've kind of got to find a balanced path through the tree and a path that's most advantageous toward what your ultimate goal is. There's a lot of thinking and planning. And then there's the point where you realize your plan has gone to shit and it's never going to work. And then you've got to find plan B. And then plan B will go to shit. You're on at least plan C by the time you win or lose. All that's true, but what I was saying was when you play the AI,

you sort of get the feel of all that baseline fabric of the game. Yeah. Shit, if I were to ask Taylor right now, what do you think pottery opens up for later? If you study pottery today, what kinds of future techs will that open? Because obviously you need like – Stained glass. Yeah.

Does pottery open archery? I don't know. No, it doesn't. If you study like the compass, then that might open up some – Like map making or navigation. Ocean exploring, like ships that can go beyond the visual distance of land. And then all of a sudden you've got a navy and stuff. Can you change the style of AI?

Because in ancient mythology you can change it to be like attacker, defender, protector, conqueror. Even better. So in Civ you've got multiple civilizations. Egypt, America, Poland. Each of them is pre-programmed. Poland is the best. Poland is the best. Oh my gosh. Yeah, Poland each of them is pre-programmed Poland is the best Poland is the best Novo King Kazimir he is the best

of the best that's who I pick if I'm playing if we're choosing Civs that's my tryhard team I wouldn't pick it to play in a normal game because it's not fair it's your try-hard team.

So they're not even that even. There are tiers. There are tiers of Civ. There's maybe four, five, or six tier one Civs who are all... Maybe this one's better at military, but this one's better at science. Maybe this one's better at early game, late game.

They're all balanced in weird ways. Then there's second tier, third tier, and then there's a bullshit tier that you never use. Venice. It goes like that. Venice. Yeah, exactly. In the mod that we play, they just remove Venice from the game. It's so inconsequential. But Civ's fun.

It just takes a lot of that baseline knowledge. Learning what all the pieces do. In chess, it doesn't take long. You've got just a lot of that baseline knowledge, learning what all the pieces do. You know, in chess, it doesn't take long. You've got just a handful of pieces there. Yeah, this does this, this does that, this does this, and you can get the basics down. But in Civ, you've got to play a couple games,

and a couple games is 10 hours or some shit. But yeah, what's this other game we're called? Age of Empires, Dragon something or another? It's Age of Mythology, Tale of the Dragon. All right, yeah. That's the one that I haven't played much at all. I didn't even know they had a Chinese expansion. What are you playing tonight?

That. Age of Mythology, yeah, that one. I have the Dragon bullshit add-on if that's necessary. Yeah, that's what you need to get the Chinese civilization. Who have you played with so far like who's the god that you picked no no no i i played the tutorial mode just trying to learn what shit did i have not played like a full game or anything yeah if you go to the menu for selecting your god there should be 15 in there that you can pick from and it's like you

get the same basic units for each like all all the Egyptians will have kind of similar ones. All the Norse will. But depending on the god you pick, you have to focus on different areas of the game. And I think just like there are some gods that just fucking suck. I think it's Odin. Odin sucks a big fat cock. Odin's in Thor. Thor also kind of sucks.

The only Norse god I like is Loki. You going to trick your enemies into something? What does Loki do? Loki, one of the Norse things as a benefit is you can, like heroes in the game, there are different ways to get heroes. Like if you're one of the Greeks, they have heroes by name.

So you'll get to train Odysseus, Hercules, all those guys. And they're probably the strongest heroes, the Greek ones. If you're Egyptian, your main hero is your pharaoh, and if it dies, it'll come back and resurrect itself, and the further age you end, the stronger it gets. One of their abilities, you can upgrade your pharaoh at the very end to be Osiris, and he just goes around with lightning bolts, everyone.

Yeah, the Norse, though, Loki, his heroes, they just have, as they're attacking, they have a random chance to just spawn in myth units next to them without paying for it. So they'll just be attacking, and then just a giant will appear next to them for free. Yeah, and he focuses almost all on myth units, which are more destructive, more expensive.

I'm going to, like I said, I've got some work to do, but I'll be back in a bit, and I'd like to play. And yeah, if you want to stream it, I'd be down to be streamed or whatever to stream the gameplay. I think it'd be fun. We should try one or two prior to streaming just so everything is squared away.

Because otherwise it would be... Spectate those two and get my act together. Is there... So I think Chiz wants to play is there a team is there a free-for-all is there's a so i'll i can invite you to the the game and then i can change the map game type or teams i was thinking in the beginning it'd probably be smartest to do like either me and you on a team or me and you and Chizna team and then we face three reasonably difficult AI or middle-of-the-road AI

just so I could explain. Because then I'll have visibility of your base and be like, you're not doing enough gold or you're going to get butt-fucked when they come in. Yeah, I think that's the best way to do it. Well, good.

I felt like I was never going to be able to drag you over to Civ. It's too hard to get into. It really is. And then once you do, you'll be unhappy that you did. Just like a three-gun, yeah. I wanted to say one last thing about the three-gun people. I don't know if I slipped this in.

It was noteworthy that they were all really nice. Paintball is like this too in that everyone doing it was an ambassador of the sport so as i'm getting dq'd and they're telling me go away uh you can't play with us for the rest of the day they're saying stuff like i hope this doesn't dissuade you from trying it again you know i i hope this isn't like the end of it like you know i i think you might really like this um you know just like this thing happens one guy was like everybody gets dq'd everybody here has been dq'd at one point or another he's like it took me two years so you kind of ahead of the game so I just they were really still on parole for it disqualification as much as convicted of manslaughter.

I wish I had said that. That would have been really funny. They were all looking at the ammo and a lot of them were like, yeah, they're not marked. They're magnetic, so it's wrong. No one said it could have happened to me, but it all seemed a little more reasonable. I can understand a guy didn't know he was firing green tips

when they weren't green tipped. Yeah. Yeah. It definitely could have happened. If I've got ammo mixing around, like, I don't know what's what, it's not going to know. Yeah. I think that perhaps this ammo needs to be experimented with.

What does it do to bowling balls? Shit like that. So, anyway uh i just wanted to slip in there in case like they somehow watch this or listen to this that i thought they were all really nice and welcoming to newcomers even if i did manage to get dq'd 15 shots into the match yeah yeah that sucks i don't think they should have disqualified you that isn't it seems like they should have given you like six six full metal jacket rounds and be like all right just wrap this up and i don't know the deal but the vibe i got was like it's not even up to me like these

rules are predefined and you know it wasn't like it was personal or anything uh the the girl who was especially sweet was like i'm sorry that's a DQ they reluctantly disqualified me because rules are rules I guess that's that I mean it's not like you went up there with dragon's breath coming out of your mouth

I can imagine it would be funny if I shot dragon's breath I think I might have some because as I was putting my armor back together my ammo back in and stuff I'm like what are these shotgun shells they have like a fluorescent orange thing in front of the wad are those dragons

they might be I almost put them in his home defense rounds yeah you're the wrong house yeah I didn't but back in the game of thrones room it's Blaze get the kids out but yeah they were all

really nice I liked them I would let them babysit my kids but yeah next time bring dragon's breath but before you shoot have the guy come over and just be like there's something really weird happening every time I shoot. Just watch this for a second. Is this normal?

It's just like a fist of flame coming out of your mouth. Oh, this isn't allowed. I apologize. What would be funny is to slip one of those into a few different guys' pouches, just kind of walk down the line, just sneak one in. If it looked like what they had, or better like a well nothing slip one into their chamber

ridiculous that would be yeah there are those incendiary rounds that would explode that would be funny too every time it hits the steel big cloud of smoke those 12 gauge incendiary rounds are crazy I still think back to Richard we were talking about the loadout right so like for example people would put three slugs in and then a bunch of shot and there were slug targets and shot targets they had to go to the right one and i was like i put five slugs in because i anticipated missing a few of those and i was like how cool would it be if i went and then just rack the other two out and started loading probably not cool they probably wouldn't be impressed at all. But I, yeah, I don't know.

But I never got to the shotgun part, so we'll never know. That's a shame. Next time. Next time. Anyway, want to wrap it here? Yeah, I think so. I liked it. I thought this was a high-energy show.

Very high. Had a good time. Good flow. All right. That was Painkiller Nearly, Episode 84. Bye, everybody. See ya.