Painkiller Already - PKN #88

Episode Date: April 29, 2016

It's PKN time baby!

And we're live! P.K.N. Sorry, P.K.A. Nearly, episode 88. Painkiller already nearly! P.K.A. Nearly. Great start, guys. Great start. Alright, are you ready for my joke? Let's hear it. Okay. Scientists recently did a study on the effect of the right side and the left side of the brain had on counting.

So first they took out the left half of the man's brain and they asked him to count to 10. He said, two, four, six, eight, 10. Then they put the left half back in and they removed the right side of his brain and asked him to count to 10 again. He said, one, three, five, seven, nine. So then, just for the hell of it,

they decided to remove the entire brain and they asked him to count to 10 one more time. And he said, look, I'm great at counting to 10, okay? I love numbers, and I have the best numbers. No one has better numbers than I do. My fourth grade math teacher, and let me tell you, she was the best and smartest math teacher in the country at the time.

My fourth grade math teacher said that I'm the best counter she's ever seen. The best. So if you want me to count to 10, let me tell you, I can count to 10, all right. That's not a problem. I'll do it. I will. And I will do it better than anyone has ever done it before. That's a hilarious Trump joke. Oh yeah.

Oh, love it. You know what the good thing is? Is that the joke knows when to stop. It doesn't keep going and drilling it into the ground. It's not totally overkill. It doesn't miss the mark initially and continue down a dark path with no reward. That's not totally overkill. It doesn't miss the mark initially and continue down a dark path. That's not what happens.

Would you people have liked this joke more had it been like giving away tens and become a Bernie joke? I would have liked it better if there was something about where his wife had to count and she was really stupid. Make it a blonde joke

or a misogynist joke. I feel like the way the joke goes, if you put any politician in there, you have to so directly make fun of it. Like, oh, Bernie, he'll just share all the numbers. Oh, Trump, he'll convince you that he knows them, but really he doesn't. They're all so overly

obtuse and ham-handed. You can see them coming, I think. If they're about politicians you know i am willing to share you know what actually as i think about it my only promise regarding these jokes is that they are bad and it sounds like i hit the mark yet again like a goddamn sniper just bullseye god it's it's the perfect bit of plausible deniability, too. Well, it's supposed to be bad, guys.

Do you think I went out there and looked for this bad one? No, just a little side in passing thing. Jackie's waiting outside the door. How'd it go? The stand-up is never going to take off, Jackie. I don't even get a fucking chuckle. You don't get a chuckle? It ruins...

I like picturing that you go to dinner with the whole family, and depending on how the bad joke goes, they're either totally upbeat with you like, oh, dad's coming. They're like, shut up. Call it. Father's coming to eat, and it didn't go well. No, they didn't laugh again.

I know that six nights in a row... No, they didn't laugh. Oh, no. Beat them for the kids. I just see a berating Jackie in the corner of the kitchen like, Ask me why the chicken crossed the road. You're tearing this family apart, man. I've heard bad jokes. Well, I like the bad jokes.

You just keep those coming. Well, I got everything I want. It's filled with them. well i like the bad jokes you just keep those coming ah well i gotta be able to be honest filled with them uh it's something to say i lost it somewhere in taylor's tirade a really kind fan out there i can't remember your name i'm sorry uh but but you bought us um a game so you bought us a company of heroes 2 i really appreciate that it was like 35 dollars i think i i chatted with him a bit um on steam and i think he did tell me that he like won that in a tournament those codes but nonetheless you could have sold them on steam for a little scratch really nice um so thanks we're going to get on there and play with you and some other people at some point uh right

now we're just really or i am i'm really invested in agent mythology i've gotten into the map editor and i'm making custom maps and trying to do cool stuff. The maps are very quickly getting better that Kyle is making. It started off a little rough and now things are getting...

Now I've got the hotkeys in the editor memorized. Now I'm editing. Just rotating objects. Getting on the Z axis. Everything's looking nice. I'm changing the elevation. Yeah. Most of these maps are just so straightforward.

It's like there's some fucking gold. Maybe there's a rhino or something. Kyle went in there and he wanted to make a map basically like Legends of the Hidden Temple. Where like you don't know what's around every corner and shit goes down. And he put like just mean creatures in the corners of the map just like it like so when he was building the forest he would just build a tree drop a snake by it that would attack and kill your workers and then just drop more trees in front of it so when you're halfway through a forest yeah a snake just attacks your worker another thing there's these ents these

trees that you can place as gaia, which just means that it's nature. Any player that goes up to them, that Gaia character is going to attack. And it's this tree like an Ent, and he put a bunch of them in the corners of all the maps just to kind of bother you and make it harder to expand. Well, all the ones in my corner of the map got really aggressive and invaded my base early in the game of just AI people that he put in there. And I was flipping out out i was so angry

like oh and of course and all my houses are going down now oh and my towers you just had to put all the fucking tree people in this game didn't you call it three people in the corners and you're like wait so there's there's only a couple of them you know and then oh two more of them storming in it's three people out of there yeah i've got volcanoes and all kinds of crazy stuff i've been having a good time with that can Can Kyle hang with Taylor quite yet? Last I asked for a status report, Kyle was giving him a go, but not often winning.

We don't play versus anymore, but I would say we're pretty similar in skill level at this point. Yeah, we play, just because we have so many people who have joined up now, it's a shit show to do eight-person free-for-all, and it's just so much of a clusterfuck, it's hard to even have fun.

So we just start doing like 2v3 or 2v4 most of the time on the same team. But yeah, if it was me playing as Zeus or one of my good gods against Kyle with Orinos, his really good god, it would be a good fight. Yeah. It would. It would not be easy. What I want to think would happen is that I'd try and distract you on Skype right before the game started, and I'd switch my god to Loki. Yeah.

And then I'd catch you unassuming early in the game. But it would be tough. Kyle's no slouch at this game. Yeah, I've been playing a lot, lots of practice. What I'll do is I'll play by myself and every time I make a mistake I restart the game and sometimes I play for like two or three hours like that and the mistake might happen like three seconds in or like 30 minutes into the game but regardless I always restart to sort of like punish myself and

so after about a hundred goes of that you're just like clickety-clack clickety-clack clickety-clack like no no mistakes no uh no wasted milliseconds what is confirmed is it about the ufc and that other i can't change the chat or i'll lose your i'll get it i'll check for you um she says confirmed confirmed f this sport i'm gonna click the link i guess that's what you wanted i think i'm gonna hear that connor mcgregor is not is like out of ufc 200 and he's done or something i'm gonna read for you uh connor mcgregor is officially out of ufc 200 speaking on espn sports center ufc president dana white confirmed the news white said mcgregor was pulled by the ufc because he refused to attend the scheduled media in las vegas this weekend to to instead stay in iceland and. Earlier in the day, it seems like a bullshit reason. Earlier in the day, McGregor had tweeted that he planned on retiring.

White wasn't able to confirm it and whether it was indeed true or not. He did, though, say the UFC were looking for a replacement to fight Nathan Diaz and that another big fight would be added to UFC 200. At this point, McGregor's future is still pretty much in the air. I don't understand. We were talking about this in text earlier, and I just don't understand why he would give up his career at this point. He seems like an arrogant enough guy that even if he had people knocking on his door,

like, hey, you want to be in a movie? You want to be in The Expendables? You want to be in WWE? Seems like he'd be like, no, you know what? I'm going to be the best at this before I leave. I want people to remember the name McGregor, not as that guy who had a flash in the pan of success

and then quit to be a bad actor but as one of the best fighters ever. Chis said it right. F this sport. It is so hard to be a UFC fan. Fuck. I feel like we've done the opposite of this sport. It is so hard to be a UFC fan. Fuck. I feel like we've done the opposite of this conversation. Where UFC is the best.

You know why? Because it happens. The fight happens. No. And here we are on the antithesis of that. I keep saying the opposite. This is what I've said. And I bet this will ring a bell.

If you're a football fan, the Super Bowl will happen this year. Right? You have heard that. Yeah. You're guaranteed. Right? You have heard that. Yeah. The Super Bowl. Guaranteed. Half the team could get hurt, and those two fuckers will still find a way to play.

The Bills go down in a plane crash. They'll just get the Giants in there. Oh, my God. What? The Bills? Not the Bills. Right? But the UFC, on the other hand, like, fuck, dude.

Like, the Connor was one of the biggest draws. The 200 was going to be one of the coolest, perhaps the best card ever. Because they did it with 100. They made UFC 100 amazing. And it looks like they're going to do it for 200 and 300 and et cetera. And I was just, I was psyched. And now Conor's retiring. I look forward to what the truth is. I don't think he's retiring.

I think he got caught with, like, cocaine in his system or something like that. Well, that's quick to go out. That is his drug of choice, it seems, from my internet research. But that's one of those that's in and out of your system. Marijuana's the one where months later they can still test you and get it if they do a hair test. Yeah, any kind of amphetamine is going to be out quickly, I would think. Well, I don't think cocaine's an amphetamine. But it is an upper, and I just know it's in an adi system i don't know about

a hair test but i know that um you're right about marijuana being your system for months and like it would probably hypothetically be in mind for that long but these fighters with no body fat um apparently it goes in and out of their system in like less than a week i'm talking about stored in fat cells. So if you don't have any and you're constantly fluctuating in weight, and not fluctuating between 380 and 420, fluctuating between 135 and 155 at your fighting weight. The way the hair test works is,

the very end of my hair follicle here, the part that's the oldest, you know, it probably goes back four or five months. It's probably my oldest hair. I think I know why they can't use hair. Why? There are different penalties for in competition and out of competition drugs. Like if you do pot and you're not fighting soon, there's a different penalty than if

you did it like on fight night. So they need perhaps a little more precision on time? I'm not an expert on this. It's also the only way that they can't... If they're doing a hair test, there might be shampoos that'll strip your hair, but then you'll be able to test for that chemical problem. And some of these guys are...

This sounds so silly, but some of these guys, their whole body is bald, and some of these guys have dreadlocks. And silly, but some of these guys, like their whole body is bald. And some of these guys have dreadlocks. And if you have dreadlocks in the first place, chances are you're toking a bit. And they're going to be checking hair from like 1993. So you're going to have something. Those guys could absorb some drugs from the atmosphere around you and just hang on to them. You never know.

That guy sneezes. Everybody's getting a little buzzed around him. Oh, Jesus. I feel like you just take that dread and just suck on it real hard. Just get all the oils out and kind of get them subliminally. That grosses me out. I would love nothing more than every time I saw dreadlocks

to just have a pair of hedge clippers I could summon and just run up behind them, snip it, and then just teleport away. That would be Taylor's really shitty superpower. Like, hedge clippers to summon near dreadlocks. Yeah. I just swoop in, cut their hair, and then all that they see is just a flash of light.

And then they see a job application on the ground. I was going to say, ah, what the fuck? I feel something. My credit score, it's growing. No. There's something about dreadlocks. I mean, yeah, I get it, judging a book by a cover and such. But, okay.

Oh, just because that guy has big gouges on his face and no teeth, he has to be on meth, right, Woody? That's what it is. I'm being careful to say this. Yeah, of course you don't judge a book by its color. It's a cage fighter! If you go in to get a doctor's appointment, like a checkup, and your doctor has a big swastika on his neck, he could have every Harvard doctorate behind him and you're still gonna be like, I don't feel comfortable with you.

American history acts. Yeah, and he's like, alright, you you're just going to want to breathe real deep and then bite that, yeah, just go ahead and bite that curb. I saw a person in my real life. I don't want to give any hints to him, but it wasn't Chiz, although perhaps this would apply.

He wore a dumb hat. He wore a dumb hat. And in my head, I was like, why are you doing that? Why are you wearing that dumb hat? This person is in high school. This is such an easy problem to solve. If, for example, he was 15 pounds overweight, right?

Let that slide a little bit, because it's harder to fix. You know, like, I get it, but there are some issues that are so easy to fix, you know? Like, I get it. But there are some issues that are so easy to fix that will help you socially. Wear deodorant, take off your fedora, and anyone who's wearing a fedora in this day and age, they're either trying to be ironic or they're just socially retarded

because no one thinks that's cool. I guess there's some guys who look cool in a fedora, but I promise you, it's not you. Not between the ages of 18 and 75. Like, that's a, I've retired, or maybe I used to be a cop back when we carried six shooters, and I was a real detective

sleuthing around. There are some guys who look good in a fedora. There was an old guy at the Trump rally a month or so back who was rocking one, and I was like, shit, he looks like a, first of all, the first thing I said is he looks like a time trap truck time traveler and i snapped a picture but it did look cool on him he had a tie yeah and he had like a gray suit and tie that went with it it was it was pretty slick looked like he might be there to assassinate somebody or something yeah with like an old guy though like you look at him and you know like maybe when he was young like

that was actually in like there's pictures of him young like wearing that like he's had that hat he didn't like that it's part of his ethos a little bit like you see fucking timmy born in 1993 wearing it and it's like oh you look like a dick i just i feel like hats that make you look like a dick timmy 23 dreadlocks lack of deodorant these things are so easy to fix fix it yeah i agree um the the deodorant and the the cleanliness in particular uh bother me like if you're if you're just a poor dresser like that is like having fashion sense and a sense of style and knowing what looks good and being able to put an outfit together i didn't learn to put an outfit together till i was like 24 25 years old or something like that it's it's not an easy thing.

I still don't bother with that. Yeah, I noticed. But there's no reason you should smell. You should never smell. If you have access to soap and deodorant and a shower at least once or twice a day, you should never smell. And I feel like these are lazy people who smell oftentimes because there aren't that many people who are ignorant to the presence of BO in the world. Just brush your teeth. Yeah, exactly. I feel like there are people, though, that are just like, eh, I know I worked

out, you know, at 10 or 11 a.m., but I'm okay, I guess. I'll be good until 7 p.m. tonight. No, you won't. That's inconsiderate to everyone around you. Did you have, okay, you've said before that after P.E. you just futzed around so you have, okay, you've said before that after PE, you just futzed around so you never showered in school.

I showered after PE in school every fucking day because everyone smells like shit after that, especially if you're like a 14, 15-year-old boy. You just sweat because unlike your school, like we'd actually have fun playing the game, so people did sweat. And some people just get back in their clothes and then go sit next to a potentially cute girl that maybe you're macking on and you smell like hot garbage i would work i had gym

around noon it was always before lunchtime so i guess i spent the last three hours at least a little sweaty um but i know for a fact i didn't smell i know i didn't i just didn't like maybe if you'd like gotten down and smelled my ass it would have smelled bad. But I got deodorant on. I showered that morning. I really don't think I smelled. Just based on the other guys who just didn't like to shower or were too afraid to get naked and shower, you could always tell the guys who were just taking Axe baths. Yeah, I would see that. And then it's just BO and morning mist or whatever the fuck they're spraying those over.

What were your showers like, Taylor? and like morning mist or whatever the fuck the spring goes over. What were your showers like, Taylor? It was just like a big room with like 20, like 12, 15 shower heads. Are we talking about Auschwitz style? That was like Auschwitz style. Yeah, it was like an Auschwitz style shower. I wish they gave the guys private rooms. They really should.

They really should. It really doesn't matter. Who cares? It totally matters. A lot of them do. I'd like to raise my hand and take the floor on this one what he didn't hit puberty till he's like 15 that's the issue right all these guys are fucking slinging meat and then here's me slinging like a pinky size dick and taylor's like

ah it doesn't matter whatever you probably had a fucking hairy chest in ninth grade right me on the other hand like when all the other kids right when all the other kids have like a full-on bush sprouting out i start to get those like crab apple patches on the two sides that don't connect in the middle right yes it matters give me let me let me just like have some shame in private because yeah didn't matter you convinced me actually that is a that's a compelling argument that makes sense that's the thing um i would prefer if that we didn't shut we didn't shower at all like there was no like like i get the football team and stuff i'm sure they showered back there at some point during the day or after

practices and stuff but there was no student showering at all that went on. Like there were showers back there but they were just dry. They just weren't used. I can't imagine a school, like a high school, like my school just would have never spent money to give each guy his own little cubicle in the shower. Every girl had one. It was so easy. You just put a pole jutting out from the wall and put a shower curtain on it.

Like a pole four feet long, three and a half feet long that just juts out and separates each shower head. Even more important, the only thing I wanted in that shower was of those like twelve shower heads, only like two of them had that little jut out from under it where you could put your shampoo. Otherwise, you're just standing there with shampoo in your hand like an asshole just kind of bathing like that while

squeezing it. Yeah, that's all we had. Yeah, there was... But getting back to the point at hand you shouldn't smell you got no excuse to smell you just don't deodorant every time right after you shower and and just wash well like it should take you several minutes to to i can't believe i'm teaching adults how to wash themselves but i smell you i smell you in public every paintball event we do eight or ten percent of you stink you know, when you take showers in situations like that where you're constantly naked or hockey,

where I was showering with a lot of men a lot growing up, you see how other people bathe. And this is the crux of this issue you're saying. A lot of people rub themselves with the soap and then immediately hop under and start rinsing it off. You didn't let the soap do its thing. Maybe just sit there, just stand in the steam for like 30 seconds, a minute. Just let it soak in

and then rinse yourself off and be like, oh my god I don't smell like shit 30 minutes later when I'm a little sweaty. You gotta scrub, you gotta scrub. I lather. I put my back to the shower and it's on my back and then I lather my entire front and then I turn around and while that's rinsing I'm lathering up my entire back. And I'll go two or three times over the same spots. I'm making sure there are no oily or greasy or dirty spots left on me when I'm done. I scrub. I'm clean as fuck.

I have three or four young Indian boys lather me. Right? Yeah, like that. You know, I have servants in the manor here, and really their only task is to lather me up while I shower. Boy, to lather you up. Boy! Taylor, do you know who Tracy McCree is?

Tracy McCree. She is from the House of Representatives in Missouri, like at the state level, and she's introduced a bill to have her colleagues stop saying physical when they mean fiscal. Oh. Yeah. Because that's the way people from here talk, I guess.

I don't know. Apparently, it's driving her crazy. It's the responsibility. I mean, that's how like that's not just a dumb person thing It's just an accent from around here like this that's condescending to do in the first place if some lady put a bill in And was like hey, how about we get all these black people to stop saying axe instead of ask Oh tut tut tut tut tut tut tut I'm so fucking fancy look at me like no fuck off i mean even sanders with that with that

strong accent he's got i'm sure there's several words that he that he just says she did it because she hit a wall and to her it's like nails on a chalkboard to hear i don't know to me it's a professionalism thing accent you can't just say accent when they don't see my grandparents would say it they'd say that like physical that you gotta have some physical responsibility. It's very close. One's two syllables and one's three. No, the issue is the

Missouri people, I think, are pronouncing physical with one. Two syllables? Physical. Yeah, it's just both are exactly how Kyle just did it facial i gotta go down there i gotta be fiscal important you know gotta have my physical yeah gotta get my physical down and then vote for trump because he's got physical responsibility i mean that's

what a bitch yeah you just yeah that makes sense to me that's a that's a kind of a southern thing it's just physical in the middle of the word we get a little lazy and we're just i don't know so you think that these people all like inside know the difference and just pronounce it differently it's like oil the word oil um it saying the word oil requires a bit of your tongue and your lips and your mouth to do some things that aren't common for certain groups of people. They never say oil. It's a little bit effeminate to oil. You have to do this la thing. And in the South, they say oil. Oil. You need to oil change. You would never say oil. Do you have people there who say Earl?

No. My dad always pronounced oil. And when he does it, he makes sure to fully enunciate it and make it clear that he's... Hey, look, this is how you say the word, everybody. I think I need a... He'll be like, I need a quart of oil. Every time, he'll do it like that. I feel like he's just setting an example for all the retards around him not that there aren't words that he doesn't pronounce correctly or anything but he's chosen that one to take a stand my father used to say washington you know you guys heard that before

they put a crazy r in there that's really common here oh i hated it and i'd be like dad it's washington washington machine not washington was So then, because I said it like that, he would come back. And worse than Washington is he would say, Washington. Just to fucking mock me. Because I was like, Dad, it's Washington. Washington. Not Warsh. Washington.

And anyway. Some of those things. Some people around here, there's a highway here called 44 and so many people up in the north area white people up in the north county area some of them will just call it farty far highway farty far and it's like it's like you go up and talk to some of those people and it's like where who dropped you off like where the fuck are you from go anywhere else like nobody talks like this nobody else in this city talks like this like what the fuck is happening with these party fire people up in north county and it's interesting how you can

assign like a southern accent you kind of think of like room temperature iqs right but when i hear the guys in fargo i don't instantly think that they're dumb i think that they're maybe i think i think maybe they're simpletons, and maybe they're naive. That's what I think when I hear that. I feel like this is a guy I could go in and swindle if I wanted to. I could go in there and tell this guy I'm the cable repairman. I'd be in his house in just a minute, and he'd pay me after I stole his jewelry. He's the kind of guy who would go up to a table with clear gangbangers there

and play three-card money in downtown Chicago and be truly bamboozled when he lost his money like they were pretty quick you know or you know he was fargo so a little different there yeah different i do think of him as a little simple now that i'm yeah it's yeah small towns that's so hyperbolic of how people actually talk there for the most part just like i think you probably remember the worst of everybody with accents you know because otherwise it doesn't stick like not everybody with a boston accent is super super obnoxious but the ones you're going to remember are those grading awful ones where it's like oh my god what a shame that you're a person and nobody told you till now how to speak

yeah there's some people who are just grading regardless and then you throw an accent on top of it and they're just unbearable. Yeah. I guess southern is the worst though. There's a reason I don't speak with one or at least I try not to. I speak really nasally. I wish there were a place in the world where the southern accent was like the sexy accent. I feel like if you're

a British guy or an Australian guy and you come to America, the ladies are going to dig that accent. They're going to think it's cool. I dig it. I think it's cool. But I wonder where you have to America like the ladies are gonna dig that accent they're gonna think it's cool I dig it I think it's cool but but I I wonder where you have to go in the world before hey there light is how y'all doing where before that's cool like oh my god you're from Sydney Australia Jennifer come over here he's from fucking Sydney dude oh my god what's it like over there and it's like that would not that'd be a little worse than like the, Let's get the fuck out of here.

Time to get out of here. Fucking cunts. Looks like we spooked him. Anyway, I think you're right. I think it's just the southern guy that you're avoiding. Because the southern female accent, as long as it's not really really bad and thick it can be very very attractive but there's really nobody who looks at men from the south and is like oh man give me a nice alabama boy like with that like maybe they mean like like farm strength but they aren't they certainly aren't meeting his cadence and articulacy no so no no absolutely not um i i don't i don't care for the accent myself like i i don't like it

if a girl has that particular accent i think it's hilarious that you just willed yourself into not having it you're just like nope i'm not gonna be that i'm gonna you're catching your like 14 years old saying words differently and you just are like nope oil yeah i did that i absolutely did i was like no this doesn't sound good i don't like it when i hear other people do this and then i i'm i'm not a moron i'm not i'm not on an island to myself i see that other people make fun of the people that sound like this i don't want to sound like this so yeah and then there's other people who just embrace it hick life hick life absolutely i never heard that but that should stick yeah just embrace it that's that's josh's sign off when he'd send

you a text message each text message is is followed by hick life everyone it's like he it's he's programmed his phone to do so so i i think normally you would use that function like maybe around the holiday i would only use it maybe around the holidays to say merry christmas every time you say a you send a text message although that seems just so annoying even for the one day he does it every day hick life and life is all caps um i i sent you a few screen caps of some of our text conversations so that you could take a look at the spelling errors. He phonetically spells 95% of his vocabulary. Like if he's saying the word, instead of supposed,

like, I'm supposed to be there now. He says, S-U-P-O-S-T. Supposed. There are dozens of examples like this. It's kind of sad. It's just pretty tough. It's kind of sad. It is kind of sad. He did not get an education at all.

He was homeschooled, and mom just didn't homeschool him. You know, his mom didn't homeschool him. Can his mom read? I don't know. I would be surprised, though. This is the 22-year-old guy with a 40-something-year-old girlfriend.

You know, he's got a rough time of it. Man. Being illiterate and all. That sucks. That mom, is his mom like super young and irresponsible when she had him? I've never seen her. Oh, actually, yeah, I have. No, she's a regular kind of lady.

And she thinks that, that, and she has no idea that she's fucked those kids up. Wow. That's, that's depressing. Wow. That's depressing. Yeah. We've slowly learned. I'll take that upstairs, Kitty. We've slowly learned how illiterate they are as projects would come up that would require a bit of reading. At first, I was like, oh, you don't know how to use a tape measure?

Well, let's figure that out. Oh, you don't know fractions. All right, well, let's figure that out. And we figured all that out. But I can't teach those boys how to we figured all that out but I can't teach his boys how to read they didn't get those boys after feet like light can you buy them like a hooked on phonics present as like their summer bonus or something we I mean we sat down with a pencil and a big sheet of plywood and I taught them their fractions the other days just so that they could use the tape measure and I'm definitely not

gonna teach them did you you see the gears turning and then finally click when you're explaining fractions? I was talking about quarters at first. I was like, see? So this is a quarter of an inch. It's one-fourth. There are four total quarters. She's like, oh!

So that's why they call them quarters. Because there's four of them in a dollar. And I'm just like, yeah! Now we're... Yeah! Now we're catching on! Why do they call them dimes? It's just like, shit.

Oh, shit, we've already gone under the weeds. We'll go to the metric system next week. Just stick with me. You really should just teach them metric. That's going to be easier. They're going to get lost in the world of feet and yards. You're telling me there's one foot. Or wait, hold on. How many feet in the yard again well then where the fuck's the inch like i i i i feel bad about making fun of them a little bit

because they did do a great job i had josh and his younger brother he josh is like 22 his brother's like 15 i had them come over uh a few days ago and do some yard work and they did an awesome job at my house. They got up on the roof and cleaned the fucking gutters out. And, you know, they scooped all the leaves and gunk and stuff and threw it down. And then I made them get down off the ladder and pick all the gunk back up and throw it away. And they were down. They cleaned all that up.

They got up there with a pressure washer and hosed them all out. They cleaned the outspouts. They cut the grass, put down wood chips, put down soil, planted some plants, threw away half a dumpster full of garbage. They worked all fucking day. So for like $150, I got some shit done. You need to give them, okay, so during your work, have them do all the shit, pull all that stuff out of the gutters, mow the yard, do your stuff.

Once they're all done with that, you say, all right, you're not done with your work yet. You give them two books and you say you two do your very best with these and you got to sit here until you're done with them. Now stick in there because once he gets to Hogwarts, things get cool. Yeah, no, you can't give them something like that. You can't be like, all like alright I was short on books I've gotten mind comp

It's more of a dossier You gotta dumb it down a little bit Cat in the hat Once he plants those beans You'll be shocked at the height of the stalk What if you got them into Game of Thrones And they got to be book snobs I think we're safe I think we're safe from that What if you got them into Game of Thrones and they got to be book snobs?

I think we're safe. I think we're safe from that. Dude, that's really soon. What's that? A week from now? Is it Sunday? Five days. Yeah, yeah. Scott's really into Game of Thrones,

but he hasn't watched last season. He's a season behind. I would argue he's not really into Game of Thrones. Well, he doesn't have... He can only watch it as fast as they release it onto dvd because that because that's how he watches him he buys the dvds uh because he doesn't have hbo and uh he's he's not tech savvy enough to to torrent it or anything like that i'm not even sure if scott has a computer um interesting yeah he

doesn't i may he must though maybe right not having a computer nowadays is like like i don't know i'm not sure his house is lit no yeah yeah we all have lights in the house yeah i'm not sure if he's got one for real uh i don't remember uh but in any case he is teach that poor boy how to stream and download and torrent he He needs to because I'm really excited about the new season. It's going to be great. I want to see everything, all the new things that happen. I hope there's new characters introduced. I hope they kill off some of those old fuckers that are getting boring. I read an old character that's coming

back. That's great. But I will say nothing more. Great. I'd like to hear that. I'm hoping that we get some flashbacks. I've heard about flashbacks. I'm excited about the possibility of Ned Stark maybe coming back inbacks. I've heard about flashbacks. I'm excited about the possibility of Ned Stark maybe coming back in there. I think my book knowledge has let me down here, but I think there's like a battle at some broken tower

with a bunch of the greatest swordsmen that ever lived. I haven't thought. This is not a spoiler because I just invented it. So Jon Snow's dead. He's like warging it up. He goes into like the tree land with all the other wargs because they can do shit like that.

He has access to all the knowledge that's ever been and he knows who his parents are. I don't think that's going to happen at all. I just saw something that says what's his face? McGregor was pulled from the card prior to his tweet. Yeah, well, I think that's what I was reading earlier, that he was pulled because instead of coming to L.A. to do his media responsibilities to fulfill those, he stayed in Iceland, I think, and kept training.

Oh. Which is probably side of it. I must have misunderstood what you were saying. Yeah. It wouldn't be Ireland. It could be Iceland. It could easily be Ireland. Oh, okay, sorry, I must have misunderstood what you were saying. Yeah, it's just... It wouldn't be Ireland? It could be Iceland, but... It could easily be Ireland. That makes a ton more sense, but... Yeah.

I was hanging out with Thor Bjorns. He was drinking some heavy bubbles and he tested positive. Hey! Maybe so. I bet there's a whole lot more to this than what we're reading. Yeah. bet there's a whole lot more to this uh than than what we're reading um because they'll just lie to you know maybe he failed a drug test or you know they got there and are like you know he's injured or he's really disillusioned with fighting in the ufc and he's been on some sort of crazy bender the last month and a half or something who knows um but i if i'm him um you know take putting that that idea that that you said earlier putting putting that aside, the idea that he's like, I'm going to be the best, I'm going to be the best fighter there ever was, et cetera, et cetera. I mean, I know just based on what we know about the guy, I think he likes money, he likes fame, and he likes everything that comes along with that.

And he can get a lot more money and fame outside the UFC than inside without the brain damage. I don't know. You might be right. I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm just saying it's always tricky for me, right? Like you take someone who's on top of the world. You are currently Stephen Curry or Steve-on Curry or Steph Curry. Steph Curry.

Let's go with that. I don't know basketball. And they say, dude, let's give you a role in a movie. If he stops playing basketball, the movie roles stop coming in, because they're not hiring him for his acting ability. If Conor McGregor stops fighting, do the movie roles just flow in?

I get that in the realm of fighters, he's one of the better speakers and more charismatic people, but that's like in the realm of rednecks, his scientific knowledge is far above average like this is not high competition here he's is connor marketable if he's not a fighter anymore i don't know but it's i'm bummed he's retiring or whatever, temporarily retiring or whatever he's going to do. I totally agree with you.

He doesn't have enough. He's riding like one huge surge, but he doesn't have like a giant tidal wave of previous achievement to carry him forward. It seems like every other day in the UFC, the all-star turnover in UFC is not like other sports. Alex Ovechkin in the NHL has been one of the best for a decade, and he will be for another five years. Some dude who was around a decade ago in UFC could be dead. Maybe he killed himself because of brain damage, or he's just like a 60-year-old retired guy.

Every two years, there's a new all-star superstar, so maybe he is making the right move getting out and trying to grab onto something else. So one interesting thing about McGregor is he spends his money. You might have learned something, I don't know. He refused. He said that he would not participate

in any promotional activities for 200, including a commercial shoot and a press conference. Does it say why? No. He says that he just refused you know weird because he's normally the best at that like if there's one thing that mcgregor is incredible and i've seen him do three interviews in a day but they were like california boston and california and then vegas in the same day and And, you know, he just, something's changed. Maybe he feels like that's possibly why he's lost or something.

I'm not sure. But I don't know. Well, that really damages that card, huh? Yeah, it does. I wanted to say this. McGregor spends money. This guy has like eight supercars. I don't know how much he's earning, but like he rents giant mansions.

You know, his fellow fighters are like, dude, do you need an 18,000 square foot mansion for while you're in Vegas? Like, could you just tone it down? Could you find happiness in an 8,000 square foot mansion? I bet he could. Yeah, I would bet that he's going to be there's going to be a 30 for 30 about him in like 10 years about how he's totally broke and he's fat and he's like fighting in bars in Ireland, completely lost his touch. Yeah.

Yeah. But still kicking ass. If that's what he's actually doing is, you know, just partying it up a storm like that. He's only, he's I think like right between me and Kyle's age. So he's not a very old guy.

Very mature still. Yeah. 27. Just, I don't know. He spends so much money. I, like right between me and kyle's age so he's not a very old guy very mature still yeah 27 just i don't know he spends so much money i like uriah favor likes to poke at him you know connor's like i got so much money and he's like check back with me you're spending so much you know i'm gonna be rich in 10 years and you're gonna be poor and connor's like you know like that's an inconceivable thing now connor's unemployed what next yeah he's totally just he's the definition of new money just like every rap song that comes out is just talking about just what he's doing of like the

first time they get that first big amount of money no thought to taxes no thought to anything you'll have to do just you know i'm gonna go do all this like he's doing the same thing all the nba and nf i think nfl is the worst actually of players who go bankrupt within like four or five years out after making millions that's gonna happen to him and that's gonna he's gonna look back on this and hate himself yeah for pissing away he's gonna forget how easily money came you know like he'll be at a stage where he's like man If I just if I had a million dollars right now My life would be so much different and I used to get a million. Oh how I'd make it last right?

It's great. I think we're gonna see him doing something cool really soon. I bet you'll see him somewhere doing something He the guy's really famous. he's got a crazy social media uh presence he's got a very passionate fan group especially in ireland and international fan support at that which which is even nicer i hear you but if he shows up in like uh captain america civil war i'm not thinking about that i don't care about connor's acting that's not what he'll show up no you're wrong about this well he'll show up in the irishman a movie that cost 15 million dollars to make is financed by the wwe or something like they do all those movies like they like they came brought up john cena and the rock and all those

guys and he'll get paid a million two million dollars to do it because it's such a small budget movie where he's just beating people up he You don't have to be in the Avengers to be making money. Just ask Captain America. He's not getting paid too well. Not compared to everybody else. I didn't know that. If you make McGregor the star of his own movie like they do with John Cena,

all those movies like The Soldier and all those bullshit movies they make, we think of them as such shit-tier movies. Like, oh, I bet that was an epic failure. I bet they'll never make another one of those. But then two years later, you see The Soldier 2, 3, 4, and 5 because they're making them for cheap. They've got a targeted audience that loves that shit.

And every single time they make this movie for $15, it makes $25. They're making $10 million a year. It's not a bad business to be in. And nobody hits you in the head. And he can go out there in WWE and, like, promote constantly. WWE has just as many eyeballs as UFC, but they're okay that you're not really getting knocked out. You can pretend a little, and they love you just as much if not more.

Except that if he was a heavyweight champ or something, I think I'd be more in line. At 145, he's just a toy for those other wrestlers. I think The Rock can beat up Conor McGregor in real life. Ric Flair is like, was always so tiny. It's drama. It's circus.

How tall is McGregor? I don't know. He's big for his size. Ric Flair is 6'1". Remember that video of Donald Trump slamming Vince McMahon? It looked real. They're good at choreography, and that's Donald Trump. He was like 60 when he did that.

I feel like they can have McGregor flying from the ropes and do all kinds of stuff. It's going to be almost like, even knowing how great he is, if you stand him right next to Brock Lesnar, no one is going wow, I hope Brock makes it out of this okay. Man, he's gonna catch a couple, he might even bruise.

Oh, no, he's eating him. Oh, he's eating him. Oh my god. He swallowed him in whole. Oh, he's swallowing. Why is he swallowing? This isn't what I signed up for. Tastes like Lucky Charms. Oh, I shouldn't have I signed up for. Tastes like Lucky Charms.

Oh, I shouldn't have quit me job. Speaking of freakish giants, that's one of the things I'm really excited about with the Game of Thrones is coming back and seeing what the mountain is up to with those nasty purple eyes he had at the end of last season. Like a doll's eyes. Like a doll's eyes. Black eyes. Dead eyes. just like a doll's eyes black eyes dead eye

you almost think they're not alive until they bite you and the blood fills up with water and they roll over why what are we talking about it's a speech from jocks i could never when i was a kid i remember watching that scene when I was a kid, I remember watching that scene when I was like, first time I saw that movie, I was eight. I was, it terrified me. I was horrified of sharks for so long because I was fucking eight. And I remember trying, when I was eight,

watching on that big staticky boob tube TV just in my basement, trying to understand what that guy was doing. And all I could remember is, 16 men get into the water. Oh, and there's many men getting out of the water after that. The shark's coming and then you gotta look for the eyes. And it's like, what the fuck is

happening in this movie? It confused me so much. Robert Shaw kills it right there. That's a true story about the USS Indianapolis, how it went down on the trip back from delivering the Hiroshima bomb. 1100 men go in the water. The thing sunk in like 10 minutes or something like that,

and then they're surrounded by tiger sharks, and they're sent for no help because the mission was so secret. So they're out in that water for a while. I love his speech, though. The first take of that speech he did like a day or two before, and he got wasted to do it because he thought that would be good, and it was just terrible, they said. So he came back sober and and i love it this is the thing about the shark he's got lifeless eyes black eyes like a doll's eyes when he comes at you

he doesn't even seem to be living till they bite you and his eyes roll over white. And then you're Australian. And Robert Shaw becomes an Aussie. And it all begins to make sense. And before you know it, you have come full circle.

I love that speech. That's so great. And then I saw Charlie do it in that episode of It's Always Sunny. What are you doing? Are you doing the Jaws speech? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That show, I think, got two more years, right? Two more, yeah, yeah.

I would have preferred that they signed one more year. What I really don't want to happen is have to muscle through next season thinking like, all right, this is okay, just because I like the show so much and the people involved and then have to admit the final season two years from now is just steamy garbage shit which seems like archer has it been more than a year since archer came out archer the first three episodes are out they are yeah i've kept up with it i like that show i like that show also i didn't i i like, damn, it seems like it's been 18 months since I've seen Archer. Yeah, I like the thing they're doing now where...

I don't know what the new season's about. They're private investigators. Okay. So basically, all their mishaps with drugs and whatnot, they can't do what they're used to do at all. All the government agencies are like, you can't be secret agents anymore. You're out of control. No. And so then Cyril basically has to start are like, you can't be secret agents anymore. You're out of control. No. And so then Cyril basically has to start a private investment.

Don't ruin it too much. It's not a lot of spoiling. This all isn't the first couple of years. I'm just asking you not to. Go on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I won't say anything awful. But not that there is in fucking Archer.

But the biggest agency, he has to start a private iFirm, and then everybody else has to basically be his contractors, and that's the only way they can go around and do their shit so it's like constant troubles with like them being like I'm a private investigator and people are like no you're not no you can't even

have this gun things like that I like the way they're changing it up like they had the coke drug dealer one I like that one you didn changing it up. They had the Coke drug dealer one. I liked that one. You didn't seem to. I liked Hot Pam. What did they do right before the cocaine thing?

In that season? Yeah, in that whole season. I don't remember what they did. I feel like there was an FBI raid in the building to open the season, and they shot an FBI agent, and they had to pay them back. They owed a tremendous amount of money, and that was part of why they were running the drugs. Well, Slater planted the drugs on them, it turned out.

Because remember, Mallory never explains where she even got the fucking drugs. Slater just left them there for them to sell. The CIA was playing them the whole drugs. Slater just left them there for them to sell. It was the CIA was playing them the whole time. I like that show. I like that animation style a lot. And if you're ever watching it, look in the background at the boxes of cereal, the bottle

of Coca-Cola, whatever. They're always fully animated. There's no blurry boxes of cereal back there. Everything is fully animated, fully detailed. And I also like the continuity. I like that everything keeps up. Archer still has all that Seamus tattoo on his back.

And Dickie. And Dickie. I find that super hilarious. The tinnitus is always getting worse. I like that too. The continuity is great. It's something the Trailer Park Boys does well. I like the actor that does Archer. I like him in Bob's Burgers and I like him too. The continuity is great. It's something the Trailer Park Boys does well. I like the actor that does Archer.

I like him in Bob's Burgers and I like him in Archer. He's a... Everything he delivers is hilarious to me. It's John Benjamin. You ever seen Stand Up? So he's doing Stand Up and he says, for my first impression, I'm going to do Archer. He just talks a little and he's like, and now,

Bob from Bob's Burgers. He just talks a little and he's like, and now, Bob from Bob's Burgers. He just talks a little more. Nailed it. That's what's so good about his voice. You know how when you watch a voice actor and there's behind the scenes when there's the mic and they'll be doing a crazy

scary, like the Batman voice in the Arkham series, the video game. Melissa was watching that video and I had heard the scary Batman voice and the arkham series the video game like melissa was watching that video and i had heard the scary batman voice and i was like man this guy must be fucking big and beefy and like i watched it and it's frail old man with this weird voice coming out of his mouth what the fuck is going on but h john benjamin he doesn't put any affectation at all he just talks and the way he talks is perfect for animation for archer for bob that's the only reason i can bear bob's burgers because i don't think it's that funny i just think

that his cadence and voices have you watched a lot of bob's burgers because it's getting good i've watched like probably 20 episodes like it's not bad it's just one of those shows that i put on when i'm kind of not paying attention the horny daughter is getting hilarious to me. The daughter with the ears is funny. They just keep going nuts. The horny daughter in particular is always just like rubbing up on guys. At one point I was like, how old is she supposed to be? And Hope is like, 13. She's just hitting on people.

I like her little groan or whatever when she's concerned like that. I don't know why. That's just a little thing. You know who does the voice of the Joker? Mark Hamill. Mark Hamill. He does the best. Yeah, he did the...

That was the Joker that I was most familiar with. It was from the Dark Knight animated series that was on when I was a kid. That was a great, great cartoon show. Yeah, it it was legit there was no bullshit fucking bad guys had guns they were always blasting at batman and he was just beating them down it was it was like there might be a threat yeah yeah there was looks like he was killing more people in that series than he has in a couple of recent movies yeah i like all batman v superman ah so we've all seen it now right no i'm not gonna see it'm not going to see it. He's not going to see it.

I liked it. Do you say don't spoil it? No, you can spoil it. I don't care. I liked it too. Okay. I was wondering. I didn't know where you fell on it.

I thought... Chiz hated it. Chiz hated it. I thought it was a good movie. I enjoyed it. I'm glad we went. I had a good night. So I enjoyed it.

Was it because your expectations were so low? It might have helped. It might have helped. It was a good superhero movie. If you're going to compare it to... As far as... It's not a well-made movie. I don't know how to put this.

It's fun. They just don't do a real good job at it. Not strictly good. The pacing is bad. It's dis. It's fun. They just don't do a real good job at it. Not strictly good. The pacing is bad. It's disjointed. There's so many characters. They need to wipe out four or five of those characters that are just randomly talking.

I don't... They try. How many characters were there? Dozens. I remember six or something. All the people at the Daily Planet alone, there's way too many. Fucking Lex Luthor's got a whole staff. All of his people.

You're dealing with Congress people. You're jumping around all over the place with all these agents and stuff. The pacing was bad. They're just hopping around. I didn't like that. And I felt like Amy Adams just didn't seem like she was a real person uh superman has 43 lines i think

total um the idea of like getting one over on superman by catching his mother seems so insane and that's not the kind of villain lex luther is so that kind of bugs me a lot at one point lex luther literally kidnapped superman's mother and he's got pictures of her tied up, and he's like... To a railroad track, right? As he twirls his mustache? No, he's got another super villain leading a team of bad guys holding the mom hostage in a building somewhere, and if Superman doesn't go get Batman's head and bring it to Lex, he's going to burn the mom alive.

In the movie, they expose a flaw of Superman in that he'll prioritize someone he cares about over hundreds or thousands or millions of people he doesn't care about. Serious flaw. Right. You know. So you kidnap Lois Lane, and you can, like, destroy North America if you want, if he's busy helping her. And so at one point, they kidnap his mom.

And it did seem a little plot-holy. Like, so they've got, i'm making this up 12 18 people like guarding his mom at gunpoint this is not a superman level problem right he could just like fly through the building take mom and return through that hole can mom fly no she's not his earth mother yeah it's his earth mother oh yeah but um my god get over it yeah a bunch of people with guns it does not present a big issue for Superman. So my favorite part of the movie was when Batman falls asleep

and he sees the future because you see the that's Darkseid. That's all about Darkseid which is a huge villain in the DC universe. You see the Greek letter Omega imprinted onto the ground. You see those like fire sucking things up in the air which are common on Darkseid's home planet of Ap ground. You see those fire-sucking things up in the air,

which are common on Darkseid's home planet of Apocalypse. You saw those locust people that look like giant grass hoppers. I'm trying to remember who those are. I'm pretty sure those are like Darkseid's minions. I'm pretty sure he has those all the time. But in that flash forward, or in that

dream sequence, which was being shown to Superman by the Flash, because the is a can time travel by just I didn't got it yeah yeah yeah I know I didn't think so that I thought this you might be there this so the flash is given Superman suit Batman this vision of the the future of what's gonna happen if Lois gets killed in a certain way and you see Superman's working for Darkseid he He's one of Darkseid's minions. He's got these Locust people coming in as like his lieutenants. They're flying in together.

Why is Darkseid able to control Superman? Because he has Lois. Lois is dead. Lois is dead. This is a scenario where Superman whenever Superman or any hero goes full totalitarian totalitarian? Totalitarian?

Authoritarian? Yeah, authoritarian. That's what I'm going for. It's usually because Lois gets killed and then Darkseid manipulates him into thinking that, see, if only you didn't hold back. If you used your full power, she'd have never died. He's being manipulated in some way.

So, in that future, Batman's trying to get the Kryptonite to take Superman down. And, you know, of course he has to fight Superman's minions. It's a whole double cross and everything. I really like that, this desert Batman crazy future with all that stuff going on. Like what happens? Does everybody at the end of the day be like,

Superman, it's all right, we forgive you. So this movie was a combination of like three or four comic books, along with the concepts from a couple more. They dealt with the Batman vs. Superman comic, which comes from The Dark Knight Returns Part 2, where Batman and Superman face off, and they also combined the Superman vs. Apocalypse fight, I think it's Apocalypse, no, it's Abominationomination the abomination who which is like a Kryptonian like like like monster weapon that's like thousands of years old and there's a lot of origin stories for him but he's Superman's equal easily and in the in the comic cartoon he beats Superman to death and uh literally just beats him fucking to death

and that's the end. Superman, of course, comes back to life in the next rendition. He comes back to life at the end of this movie, too. You can kind of see the dirt start levitating on Superman's coffin, which is a complete ripoff to when Magneto had lost his powers in X-Men 2 or 3 or 4, who knows,

and he goes to move the chess piece, and it wiggles just a bit, and then the movie ends so complete ripoff there by snyder um zach snyder cannot emote any emotion that guy's got to be a sociopath or something like that because none of his characters have any emotions and i'm okay with that i wanted a dark gritty comic book movie and i got it i was entertained i walked out of there smiling telling my girlfriend i was like that pretty good. This is why this is like this, and this is from that comic, and this is from this comic. Did she like it?

Yeah, she liked it too. We watched it in IMAX 3D, so there was shit flying everywhere, you know. So at the end, it's all wrapped up. You know, Superman is vanquished. Well, see, it's not necessarily about Batman v Superman. That's a misleading title to the movie. Anyway, it's Superman v Batman Dawn of Justice, and that's what you've got to Q in on. It's the dawn of the Justice League.

It's Batman discovering the Flash, Cyborg, Wonder Woman, and Aquaman. Cyborg, Wonder Woman, and Aquaman. And at the end, he's talking to Wonder Woman about getting everybody together for a bigger threat. And Lex Luthor is talking about bigger threats that are out there. We saw those Kryptonian cubes, which hypercubes or something like that. So we could have Brainiac coming in. There's a lot of huge, huge DC comic villains that could come in next, but I'm not as thrilled about it as I thought I'd be. I'm not really pumped for a Flash

movie or any of that stuff. See, I'm pumped for it, but it's at the level that I have nothing to lose. You know, like, hey, would you like a Batman movie and then a Flash movie and a giant Justice League movie? Yeah! Knock yourself out. I'm not taking a risk. I'm not doing any work. Do all that.

I have a similar but low-scale thing on YouTube. People say, yeah, do this video, do that video. If it's bad, there's no risk in it for them. Everything is fine. That's how I feel about these movies. I can't wait for them to make them. Ben Affleck's making the next Batman movie. He's writing and directing.

That is big. Has he directed anything? Yes. He directed The Town. He directed, what's the movie where they go over and see Argo? And something else, I think.

I'm going to predict this being the best Batman movie ever. I think Ben Affleck is going to go in there and make an incredible Batman. The more I look back on the Nolan Batmans, especially the first one and the third one, the more I dislike them and find issues with them, especially in the fight choreography.

Just lots of issues there. I agree with the action scenes. I felt like they did that poorly. There's that, and then there's like, you know, like, hey, let's just do every frame a new camera angle And it's like clippity clippity clap clap clap you don't see anything like you can't follow Try like watch it a car chase by is it Christopher Nolan is that his name you watch a car chase

And there's cameras from the front cameras from the back. There's no like you can't follow where the cars are going no point of Who's in front who's behind who's right who's left like you said like it's just a bunch of smashing it his action scenes are the cinematic equivalent of children banging pots and pans like it's just clippity clatter and smack i would agree if you said michael bay i think so i like his use of the imax camera i i i like that he does that and i and i like i i particularly like in the second Batman movie he made, the chase when the Joker is after them. And they're in the garbage truck shooting RPGs. That's the one I'm talking about that sucks so much.

I like that one. Dude, I have a video that would change your mind. It influenced mine. He just goes through. It's a video aimed at people who would like to get good at editing and they use that as an example of what not to do and they're like look this car is behind magically this car is in front now this car is on the side where are we exactly is this the front is this the back you know at

this point the viewer is completely confused because we're inside a closed room and we can't tell what direction they're traveling. It's relevant. The whole time I'm just wildly confused as to what's actually happening. I'll admit, it is the visual equivalent of a bag of Skittles. It's good.

It's just a confusing bucket of craziness. That's how he does his action scenes. I thought Inception, there's tons of crazy shit with I never minded that scene. And I thought Inception, you know, there's tons of crazy shit with the world rotating and stuff. Yeah. But doesn't it follow? That was really hard for me to track when

they, that whole like last scene where they were like, oh my god, we're in this like crazy dream world that's like so far deep it doesn't even make sense anymore. Like all those buildings, like the way it was just like skyscrapers floating by. It disorienting i didn't like it i feel hardly sat down and they were like all right the previous one was a snow mountain and we just gotta go bananas like how what can we do we got like we got five minutes five minutes to come for this i don't know just

make that building in the background invert it send it to the side just fuck it like i i hated that scene i've watched inception once and liked it but i've watched about inception like a dozen times so i feel like i have all this like expertise in the movie except inception without really remembering it or having figured it out on my own i need to see it again is a movie that i look back on more fondly than when and then when I go to re-watch it, I don't like it as much as I remember and Shutter Island is one

that I go back and I just mentioned these two together because they came out very close together with Leo in it. That's when I go back and watch and it's always just as good as I recall it being because I know that movie is excellent. Which one? Shutter Island. Shutter Island. I thought it was. Really good. Which one? Shutter Island. Shutter Island. I thought it was infinitely better than Inception.

I thought it was at least equally as good, but it's a different kind of movie. I felt like Inception was more visually stunning with some of the stuff they were doing, and I like those special effects. I'd never seen anything like... There's a scene where Leo is sitting there with Ellen Page at an outdoor coffee shop diner thing, and all of a sudden the world fucking does one of those.

The whole land goes up, and I was like, I've never even seen that effect. It looks so goddamn real. That's blowing my mind. That was pretty cool. But then in Shutter Island, it's a nice mystery kind of thriller where you don't know what's going on. Even at the end, I think a lot of people don't know what's going on, and I thought there were a lot of real strong performances in that from some of the other loonies and you know it's always tricking you you

think you got it figured out you're like i know what's going on here and then you're like oh maybe i don't and even at the end you're like do i so it creeped me out a little bit i know the inception probably wasn't supposed to be scary i don't know maybe a couple parts were but shutter island had a couple legitimately freaky parts like they made all those crazy people like almost Gollum ask like weird like little CGI overlay making Dirty look weird gaunt sunken sullen faces like It was like it was like grimoire worm tongues entire family like fled to that island after after the battle at Rowan tongue's entire family like fled to that island after after the ballot my lord i should check it out the first trump or the new york results are in oh let's see it's one percent so you can't put too much into it but trump at 69 and clinton at 60 but one percent you know most of the votes are

not counted yet don't worry guys i'm'm sure Sanders will find a way somehow. Yeah. Why do you lay these troubles upon an already troubled mind? Are we talking about the... It's our Lord of the Rings references that have been constant recently. I like some of them.

I think I don't like it when you act them out, but when Taylor makes comparisons, I'm overjoy them. I think I don't like it when you act them out, but when Taylor makes comparisons, I'm overjoyed. He's like, you know what? This is a lot like when the orc in the Tower of Minas was forging the sword of fucknardery, and they held it up, and he did his thing. And I'm like, I remember that scene.

I didn't know any of those names. Do you remember the name of the elf who actually did the forging oh? God this is gonna be hard. I need to remember He's a child Elrond helped with it. I believe he tricked him so Saruman like like our Sauron He tricked him. So Sauron tricked the elf somehow. Wait, the ring? The Ring of Power. The one who forged it. Oh, the ring. Yeah, that was forged by the elves. It was forged by... Wait, wait, the shipwright. The shipwright. What was his fucking name?

I am picturing the card that I had in my elf deck of the shipwright. It was a picture of him in the third movie standing next to the shipwright before they go to the Undying Lands. What the fuck was that? Starts with a C, Kyle? I only know him from Shadow of the... Kyle, does it start with a C? I don't fucking know his name. I don't remember it. I just wanted to see if Taylor... Gotta remember what the shipwright's

name is. I don't know nearly as much stuff as he does. I haven't read any Tolkien stuff. I've only watched the movies and all the edition stuff. That was his name. There's the fucking car. Oh, man.

I wish those didn't get destroyed by negligence when I was in college. They're worth $80,000 now. Aren't they worth a lot? No. Magic cards, a lot of those are worth a lot. Lord of the Rings cards are just worth a lot to me, sentimentally. I was looking at magic cards on Craigslist,

and that is the place to get magic cards. I think, especially if you wanted a bunch of old ones, because I see people selling 1,000 card decks, 2,000 card decks, 3,500 card decks, 2,000 card decks, 3,500 card decks, all organized and shit, and they'll list maybe 50 or 60 cards that they've got that are their best ones, and I'll look up the values,

and they'll have a couple hundred dollars worth of cards there just in the mix, and they're selling the whole thing for like $200 or something. Yeah, that's, knowing how much you get really into things, like obsessively like I do, much you get really into things, like, obsessively like I do, like, you were like,

oh, I'll try out Age of Mythology, and now it's like you're building your own epics in there. Like, I would recommend you don't try Magic, because all it would take is just one fun game, and you'd be like, oh, there's a lot more strategy here. Oh, you can really fuck with people, can't you? Oh, this is like... You would love just how much you can ruin

people's day if they take it seriously because the thing with magic is like most games if there's a super powerful card or any trading card game board game they'll be like all right we gotta x that make an x list a restricted list get rid of that magic there are so many over the top powerful combos that they're all fair like It's just ludicrous shit. There's a couple cards where it's like alright I'm going to play this and pay for it and now I control your next turn. So I'm going to discard all my cards and destroy all my creatures and you're fucked.

And you can just sit there and be like god damn it. That's not fair. How do I get one of them? Well $500 will do the trick. Pay to play bitch. I feel like you can have a very lucrative career counterfeiting magic cards. Just like, yeah, it does this.

There's real counterfeits. I was on the Magic Reddit at one point and someone posted that they paid probably like $100 for a Black Lotus card or something similar to that. And it's like, you should have known the first place that wasn't fucking real. And it was going to be computer paper or something.

And it was, but yeah, they, most tournaments where you can use really old cards like that, they give you a certain number of proxies, which means you can basically write the name of a card on a piece of paper and then slip that into a track proxies too. I don't know why I'm telling Taylor about this.

Hey Taylor, you'd be surprised to learn. They, um, they make professional looking proxies,. I don't know why I'm telling Taylor about this. Hey, Taylor, you'd be surprised to learn. They make professional-looking proxies, but I found it really interesting. They'll take like existing cards, and I don't know the details of it, but like a Black Lotus, for example, there might be another cheaper card, which is especially good for creating a Black Lotus out of it. And they'll like imprint it, and they lay like gold leaf on it, and there's these layers.

And it turns out – I mean it takes an expert to figure out if it's a fake or not but these people aren't intending to defraud purchasers they're just intending to have a really great looking black lotus that they can afford that's what most people do it for cool i don't know i don't think most people would even give that much of a shit, whether or not it was a real or fake one, unless you're super into it yeah, you mentioned making my own cinematics I've been trying so hard, it's really difficult, so

any headway at all? No, well, a little I'm learning triggers and camera angles, so the entire Age of Mythology game has a single player with voice actors and story and cinematics at the beginning and throughout the levels. You'll break the castle wall

and all of a sudden there'll be a cinematic with some music that sort of shows off the whole castle and you hear a voice saying, It's come to this! Fight to the last! Or something like that. Haru! Haru! Well, they use the same editor that you have access to yourself to make the entire single

player. So I have access to all of that editing power, uh, such that it is in this, in this 12 or 13 year old fucking PC game. Um, so you could do some real cool stuff and I've been working on that. I would really like to make like characters that are all of us.

And, uh, I, I've went in the back end and I see how to customize all the audio files. I could make some mp3s, replace the files, delete the old ones, and just put them in there.

Custom taunts, right? I'm thinking about making custom taunts. It seems really easy. I injected some mods the other day and I had to move files around and do a bunch of stuff. And just doing that, I saw how to do the taunts. So I don't know.

I've been having a lot of fun with this game, just tinkering with it in my spare time. And the girlfriend's into it now, too. She's playing upstairs right now. Nice. I'm sure we'll both. Your girlfriend will play tonight, I'm sure. Yeah, I'll see if she wants to. I know she's got a Steam account.

2v2? Me and you versus those two? Yeah, that seems fair. Yeah, it'll see if she wants to. I know she's got a Steam account. 2v2? Me and you versus those two? Yeah, that seems fair. Yeah, it does. I need to get Woody's gamer tag to come play with us. I was there last night. We had technical difficulties. I was grumpy all day today.

Why? I think it was because I was up past 3 last night. When did you wake up? 8, maybe? That'll do it. Ooh. Yeah, no wonder you're feeling a little cranky today. That's not much sleep.

Yeah, it wasn't like I attacked people or anything, but, like, every problem I ran into was like, well, if that would happen, fuck. Like, I'll drop a screw. Of course. I'm on a ladder, I drop a screw, and it's like, well, fuck. Fuck all this, really.

And, you know, this is just in my head but that like normally it'd be like oh time to get the screw but instead it's just like screw everything i am so sick and tired of gravity fucking with me i am yeah you should have slept in another hour too yeah yeah if i stay up till five or something i usually sleep till 11 i gotta get at least six hours i hear you and i'd like to i forget why i was up but six is so much better than five hours you have nighttime curtains by any chance do you have like dark out curtains that you could draw if you needed to uh i feel like i feel like someone with such a flexible schedule should should have those i don't i i

missed an exam because of those I I'm it's better not to but man they're nice when you have them right like dude I think a fucked up

sleep schedule is a little like drugs now I'm not experienced in drugs but they're glorious at first you're like yeah

I stayed up till 6am hanging out with the guys I slept in till 1 isn't my life the coolest and then you do that for a while and you're like you know like this just isn't even nice i'm not happy with this and uh you get on the straight and narrow again and you're like oh no wonder everyone else does this this is better so that's when i do have the blackout curtains i really do like them but they will fuck up your whole life.

The room in my bedroom has this thing above where the blinds are, even that's like a half circle, if that makes any sense, that you can't even block the sun out unless you want to get real white trash with it and duct tape some cardboard up there or something. I have no way of blocking the sun anyway, so when it comes up, it comes up. I missed an economics exam because i used blackout curtains my sophomore year of college i slept straight through it i had to go tell the guy that i took it and just wanted to drop the class anyway and he believed me thank god because it was the last day to drop the class and i would have failed when i was playing a lot of call of duty when i was

playing eight or ten hours a day or something like that every day i would oftentimes sleep through the day because when i'm when i'm gonna play which is what i do is nighttime when everybody gets when everybody else gets on to play so i would just sleep through the whole fucking day sometimes and i had those windows completely blacked out and i i should like blackout curtains don't always get the job done because they stop at the you know at the at the borders of it you know some some light creeps in so i like duct tape this whole mesh of like cardboard and stuff to it like you look at my window from the outside and it's just aluminum foil backed cardboard my mom it's great people would come over and they would be like what is that what is that on his windows? That's Kyle. He's the resident invalid.

He only comes out twice a year. Folks say they ain't seen him. It was great. I loved it, but you would sleep through a whole fucking day. It was awful. People would come over and they would legitimately be a little worried about the window on the side of the house that was all aluminum foil and stuff. I was like, no, that's where I stay. That's not like a prisoner or anything. Don't worry.

You're peeking out through the window. That's not like a prisoner or anything. Don't worry. Like you're white. You're peeking out through the window. You're just porcelain white skin. They can actually see organs through your skin like one of those deep sea fish. Yeah. But yeah. So the message for this week's PKN

kids is wash your dirty selves because we notice. Batman vs. Superman. That's your feet are already nearly tipped for the day. Batman vs. Superman was a fun ride but not a Watch your dirty selves because we notice Batman Superman Batman Superman was a fun ride, but not a great not a very well-made movie I don't think and watch the NHL playoffs watch the NHL playoffs. Yeah, we all agree. They're not good this year The play I'll say You know, I I've seen the I've seen better production values. Depending upon your geography. The plot makes

no sense whatsoever. Did you see that gif of, there's a Washington player who played Philly, and he got boarded, which is apparently when you get hit badly, like a bad distance from the boards, where if you get hit too far away, just an open-eyes check, maybe you slide into the boards, more than likely you don't, you get up

before they're skate-off. Get checked really close to the the boards you're going to bounce up against it with your shoulder you could break a collarbone or something if you don't take it right but they're professionals if you get hit a medium distance when you fall it's almost like that scene where that chick breaks her neck on the fucking chair or the stool million dollar million dollar baby and that's what boarding is this guy got hit so fucking hard just goes in like head first like he's almost paralyzed, and it's just a gif of after the play. Whole face is bruised, he looks like shit, and he's sitting on the bench, and the trainer's like checking like concussion symptoms, and he's just sitting there

like totally befuddled, like still out of it, and he gets hit in the head with one of these heavy electronic light-up bracelets that they gave to every Philly fan that day, and some dick right behind him just like threw it, and it hit this guy right in the head, and he was like, oh, at this other arena with all these Philly fans, like, ah! You know, everybody hates Philly fans because they're low class like that. They threw batteries at Santa Claus and shit. That's my favorite part about Philly fans.

They're the best. Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. Do you not like playing in philly you're not supposed to yeah no i like playing in philly because they're not good anymore the fans are obnoxious but nobody's like man i hope that overweight guy from philadelphia with two beers in his hand doesn't jump over and beat me up it's not that the professional athletes hate to come to philly which is what you would want to happen it's that all the other fans hate to come watch a Philly game, which is not what.

That's good too. Dude. So, so when I, I was a Philly fan first, right. And, and you know,

everyone, if you're in Philly, et cetera, if you wore like a cowboy, so the, in Philly, the two big robberies are the Cowboys and the giants. This is football.

Yeah. And if you were to wear those jerseys to a football game, it's legitimately dangerous. Like you could really get hurt. Somebody might beat you up. At the very least, you can expect people to splash a little beer on you. I mean, of course, right? That's to go without saying.

Or like when people cross in different directions and someone does that like shoulder hit thing. Duh. directions and someone does that like shoulder hit thing yeah duh like it's your obligation as a fan to hit that person a little or something right no so i go to a carolina hurricanes game polite and not a piece of shit welcome to our stadium i go to a hurricanes game and in here there's a lot of transplants right like even the local even the local town, Cary, concentrated area, relocated Yankees. So the most popular games are one in which the Yankee teams come back down. Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, New York, et cetera. And there's, like, there's so many, like, Pittsburgh fans.

Like, I'm befuddled. I'm like, how come nobody's hitting them? No one's pouring beer on them. They are cheering for Pittsburgh without repercussion. In Carolina. Yeah. Woo! Go Hurricanes! I was, I

mean, I didn't like be the only Philly style fan there. I just fit in. But I didn't understand how they were going to let someone come into their house and root for some other team. I don't like it. At Philly, in Philly, you have home ice advantage. You do. You undoubtedly have a home ice advantage in Philly. If you're in Carolina... When they won 6-1 last night, or no, wait, they lost 6-1 at home, which is why they threw bracelets at the Capitals players.

Look, I'm not saying they're the best team. It's a rebuilding year. Well, actually, that's true. Nobody expected them to make the best team. It's a rebuilding year. Actually, that's true. Nobody expected them to make the playoffs, so this is a big success for them just making it. You're not even going to make it to the second round. I know you're up 2-1 right now, but you're the Blues. So in the end, we'll have the same season.

But anyway, in Philly, you get home field. You get home ice advantage. You always get that. That's why I root for Carolina when I'm here. I feel like someone should pull for them. They deserve home ice advantage when they're at home. That's like a thing you should have. Yeah, and they just lost Eric Stahl.

Oh. I mean, he was like the face of their franchise. He was, but what is he, like 33 or something? How old is he? Oh, yeah. It was good for them to get rid of him. But imagine how much more that guy loved his life, making like $8 million a year for like a decade or whatever, as opposed to some dude in Toronto who has the exact same career

but has like 600 media people barking at him and trying to get questions and answers. Meanwhile, this dude's just a multi-fucking millionaire in one of the Carolinas playing hockey. He can't go to the grocery store. Nobody gives a fuck. By the way, he's got a ring. He won the cup.

He won the cup. One of his first years in the NHL, I think. I don't think I'd say that. Yeah. That's the downside, right? You know, you play for the Hornets or something and you never win. No, this guy's – his name is on the cup. And he got to live in Carolina the whole time. He did it right.

Yeah. I think he did a really good job there. Yeah. Yeah. Meanwhile, his brother for New York, not even making as much money and also – or I guess they're both playing for New York now. But anyway, I was going to just go into a whole tirade about the Stahl brothers when they injured each other.

Or when Eric's injured the other one, Jordan. But nevermind. Nobody cares about that. Kyle's losing interest as he's dying. Oh yeah. I just zoomed way out. Zoned way out.

You guys are talking about particular players and their accomplishments. I will say this. 6% of the vote in. So getting a little more reliable, 6%. And Trump has about 68% of the vote. So he needs to break 50. If he breaks 50, then other people don't get the votes. It's county by county and complicated.

But this is – it looks like he might outperform if this holds true. 6% is early, but we'll see. Sanders, on the other hand, is at 38.5%. So this might be the last day in which people consider him viable. But we'll see. It's at 15% over there. But well, remember to get out and vote. You know, feel the burn. Too late. Too late for that. It's polls are closed.

There's always next year. I wouldn't say next year. There's always 2020. We're already nearly 81. Very good. Bye-bye.