Painkiller Already - PKN #89

Episode Date: May 6, 2016

It's PKN time baby!

Live painkiller nearly episode 89 really getting up there in the numbers I feel like our new sub show is last longer than most podcasts do yeah Yeah, definitely. So I like that's that's not a feat though. Have you ever looked at just random podcasts online? Yeah, it's just like two guys. Yeah, like my podcast is shit and Like some of these are even worse. I like so they're not making any sense there's no jokes there's no tempo it's just kind of like a lot of uncomfortable breathing and then like just apologies for natural things like oh oh wait sorry about that wait did i hear you say no jokes so you hear the bad news about shortbread tell us They're not making it any longer. Damn, that sucks.

They're going to go home, like beat the kids. God damn it. They didn't like it again. Woody, it's not funny anymore. So, the second round

is all but decided. Two game sevens. The conductors played a mighty orchestra last night you know what taylor if i'm tell the truth even after the flyers lost i was like it means so much to him i still hope the blues win like i think that would make him happy maybe it doesn't make for good podcasts but but just go ahead. I would have made for a horrible podcast if they lost. I just would have texted you today and been like, I can't. I'm not. I'm just buying new razor blades.

Got the bath heating up. So I'm not going to make it. I was following along on some sort of web app so I could get instant updates by the second. And I was kind of texting back and forth with Taylor. I was like, it's going to overtime. You'll lose there. It'll be even worse. We were just talking about how it was going to go. I remember there was five minutes left in the game

and of course they were winning. I was like, looking good. He goes, just wait. It's coming. It's coming. Did you see the slap shot at the end where they almost scored? Both teams hit the post bad three times. Their guy took a slap shot from the end where they almost scored both teams hit the post bad like three times but their guy took a slap shot from the point brent seabrook and it hit both posts and came out i um i played in a game where like the opposing team hit some ridiculous number of

posts like nine or something like that and uh the team bought him a golfing hat that said ping on it and he kept it forever because it did the sound it makes yeah a couple posts is like oh that's rotten luck but if you're hitting it nine times it's like how about you just aim a little bit to the left or the right or down yes one of those would probably help you yeah any of those directions it couldn't be worse but yeah i'm excited they made it past this first round. That was their – I don't want to say they're going to beat Dallas, but I definitely think they have a better shot against Dallas than what I thought they had against Chicago.

I didn't think they had a shot against Chicago. The real question is what do I have them as? What did I say when I made my original bracket? We need to go back and look at that. You picked the Indians. Oh, did I? The Blackfeet. Or the Blackfeet, I'm that. You picked the Indians. Oh, did I? The Blackfeet. Or the Blackfeet, I'm sorry.

I don't know. Where were they from again? Chicago, probably. Maybe I got that right. Kansas City. No, I believe it. There was like, yeah. There were three teams from Kansas City.

Big hockey country out there. Love it. It's already flat. It's easy to make the rinks. It only makes sense. Why wouldn't you have four NHL teams in Missouri? Yeah. Yeah, I'm really excited about it.

I'm trying to think of how good your picks actually were. I need to go back and listen because I know you got a couple. Well, they had the seeds next to them. Yeah, they had the seeds next to them. That helps. But I didn't understand how to read that, so it was of no help at all no he was i was the emblems yeah yeah yeah like i was just kind of like oh that one looks festive yeah looks like a superman logo like a well-designed bunch yeah put a logo together i don't know

san francisco superhero logos or whatever you were saying. They're going to game seven tomorrow against, uh, I think you said like the, the, the wildcats. So the, the maybe, I don't know.

It's, it's really hard to say. It's hard to remember. Cause a lot of them don't make any sense at all. But, uh, Woody, who do you have in Washington versus Pittsburgh?

Second round. I've got Pittsburgh in six. Really? I'd say Washington in six. Because they are hot right now. Really? Well, I mean, Washington faced a much tougher team in the first round. Can't go by that.

Yeah, that's true. Washington. Actually, both of the teams they faced were not good. The Flyers are probably the better ones, actually. The Reign... No, that was... I'm trying to think. Who the fuck did the Penguins play?

The Rangers, right? You might feel like the Capitals did better if they had won in five, which they should have. They outshot 44-11 in game five. Yeah, but Neuwirth, your goalie, was retardedly good that night. And that happens in the playoffs. Sometimes a goalie can steal a game. That's true.

But if that went the other way, you'd be like, oh, the Capitals are hot right now too. Because they really didn't play well enough to win. Yeah, they played to Philly's level a lot of that series, and Philly did a good job keeping it that way for the most part. I mean, Washington's just so good, but Pittsburgh is on fucking fire. How does the draft work in hockey? Yeah, is it straight up?

Like, in basketball, there's a lottery, and you get a higher percentage chance of winning if you do poorly. Yep. In football, it's just straight up worst team best pick where's hockey hockey is closer to uh the lottery system i think they and this is one aspect of the nhl that i don't follow super intensely right no one does until the players get into the nhl and then i watch them because otherwise it's just me tracking the high school stats of a bunch of 17 year olds with nhl is it one of those sports where players find it's just me tracking the high school stats of a bunch of 17-year-olds.

With NHL, is it one of those sports where players find it easy to go right from high school to the NHL and at least get going? High school. Or is it one of those things where there's like a triple A or a farm? That's it. There's like juniors, junior A's, junior trip. Juniors, junior A's. Am I missing it? And the junior B's and Junior Trips. Juniors, Junior A's. Am I missing it? The Junior B's and Junior C's.

Connor McDavid. Surprising there's not a larger collegiate hockey league. AHL. There is. There are some colleges. Most pros don't come from college hockey, but there are some universities where they're good enough that it's respected. You'll see a good guy and be like, oh, he played for North Dakota or he played for Minnesota or he played for Boston.

It's like, okay, that guy's legit. I think the way to explain it is it's a little like baseball, where if they're in the collegiate league, they probably got passed over by one of the other leagues, sort of, but there's still good players in it. Yeah, it's almost like they fight their way

back. No, I wouldn't say they're looking for better draft position because they'd just be looking for that from the juniors, where all the other top players go. It's like, oh, these guys couldn't make junior A's, say they're looking for better draft position because they'd just be looking for that from the juniors where all the other top players go it's it's like oh these guys couldn't make junior a's so they're playing in ncaa's yeah usually what they do in the nhl is you if you want to get an education most people like connor mc or not connor mcdavid yeah connor mcdavid he is an 18 year old who's playing in the nhl right now fucking ridiculously good rookie like people are thinking he could be like the next gretzky or i guess the next sydney crosby or whatever he's the black guy immediately yeah yeah yeah connor david no no he is as hail is the

driven the all-star the all-star hockey player are you sure yeah the all-star black guy yeah not the black guy but he is really good but that's incredibly rare to just hop right in usually you have to spend at least a few years in the minors figuring it out, and then they'll bring you up eventually. But, yeah, as far as the draft lottery, they're changing some shit because the Edmonton Oilers, I think it's four of the last first overall picks have gone – four of the last five or four of the last six first round, first overall picks have gone to the Edmonton Oilers,

and they're still fucking terrible. It's ridiculous. It's not helping. They just got Connor McDavid. The Buffalo Sabres, who finished dead last last year, which means they had the best shot at getting the first pick to get this awesome franchise guy. I was rooting for him so hard.

And then fucking Edmonton, the next shittiest team that had the next best chances, who had gotten four other of these supposed all-stars that they're ruining, and they take this guy. They are ruining the careers of these all-stars in Edmonton, and it's a goddamn shame. Like, what the fuck is going on up there? I'm still convinced that it's because Canadian teams,

like if the San Jose Sharks need to rebuild and it takes four or five years, it's kind of understandable. Like the team, the player, they'll back off and be like, okay, we figured that, you know, we suck and we need to rebuild and that takes a while. If Toronto or Edmonton, they try and rebuild, their fans are so rabid because it's the only sport they watch that they get like six months in, they're like, go fucking fire the coach and trade him and get rid of that guy.

And really it should be like, all right, maybe like, I don't know, give him like a year or two, maybe two seasons. Let's see how it pans out. Like, no, trade him and get rid of that guy and it really it should be like all right maybe like i don't know give him like a year or two maybe two seasons let's see how it pans out like no trade him get rid of him and then we're gonna be mad about this in three years when he's great on the fucking dallas stars or something like they're they're infuriating i don't want to see them succeed at this point because they pissed it away so much it's like a blues complex anyway yeah kyle's really very passionate what anyway so your girlfriend and you have been playing age mythology and you're you're actually showing her tutorials and shit

yeah yeah i'm i she she's she's like my padawan over there i'm uh i'm helping her come along a little bit we played some last night uh me, her, Taylor, and Cliff, who's one of our fan players who's been playing with us a ton. Cliff puts the time in. If he sees that I'm online, he's getting online, and he's not getting off until I get off. I don't know what he's up to. I think he's a student somewhere in the Midwest,

maybe Missouri or Minnesota. I'm not really sure, but Cliff's a nice guy. He's always there. He keeps coming back, even though you say it's an accident, but I'm convinced you're, like, clicking on the houses under that shroud of the map and seeing which one is Cliff and always attacking Cliff first. It's a coincidence. Now, last night I definitely attacked him first on purpose, but no, he was building it tight, and he had to go.

You know, he had to go. But usually it's just a coincidence that he just somehow always gets fucked up first but i wasn't thinking last night and i just so it was me you your girlfriend and cliff and we were playing this custom four-player map that kyle made and or was this one that you made or i downloaded and tinkered a little bit but downloaded well i'll say you made it because it was really cool so made this map we start playing and we make a rule that you can't rush his girlfriend. And so I just do a Titan rush. And I don't know what I was thinking, but I just sent it right into Kyle's base and destroyed everything Kyle had reasonably early in the game. And by the time I was like done with his base, I'm like, oh, fuck.

Like Cliff's still in this. And Kyle's supposed to be teaching his girlfriend. Like why did I knock Kyle out right now? Like what was I thinking? But I pressed it down. I killedyle out right now like what was i thinking i killed your whole army i killed your titan i killed your whole army and i start rebuilding and then cliff comes in with his titan and his army and it's like i have to do this back to back it's a two-way one now i forced you from your homelands though you start up on this uh on this plateau with uh no cliff did that you didn't destroy any of my town centers i uh i I destroyed them and built them back up.

With my Titan. Because I sent it over there. No, Cliff came and destroyed them. Cliff came and destroyed them and then I had to evacuate to that little shit area off in the corner of the map. I ended up with your whole base. Oh yeah, you definitely did. Because I couldn't go back there. Cliff was watching it. How often are you playing

this wishing that you were more fully dead? Oh, never it's never almost never it like last night was a real rare thing because usually there's not a player that we're taking it easy on so it's just full out attack i feel like if you took my town center i'd be like can you at least have the courtesy to kill the rest of these fucks we would yeah we do like like when the end comes like like it comes like like we don't come and like mess you up and then like, okay, see if you can get back up off the ground again. See you in half an hour.

Like we don't do that to you. Like we kill you. It's the game over. Sometimes we do. If we're trying to like work a strategy or something, where we'll be like, oh there's Kyle, hold back. And we just have hordes of people waiting outside while there's like six people with hoes and gardening equipment

a hundred yards away looking at us on the horizon like, oh fuck, well they're coming sometime. May as well get 60 more food for this fucker who left the keyboard 10 minutes ago. Sometimes we'll play with our food, I guess. It's rare. Usually I'm trying to get this thing over with as fast as possible

because that's my whole thing. I like doing things quickly. How is she liking the game? She likes it. I've taught her a real simplified version that's easy to like memorize and and so you can kind of get your feet wet and not have to be like oh which god do i pick now or anything like that because it is a very complicated game oh she your girlfriend she pissed me off at one point in that game where i was spreading out conquering parts of the land and I just started getting attacked out of nowhere

when I was fucking with Kyle or something and I'm like what the shit like who's attacking me who's attacking me and I go up and check and lo and behold Kyle's GF yeah there she is and I'm like what the fuck and she's like I don't know like I didn't even know I was attacking oops should I not be and I'm like no

but just know that there's a price to pay so he's like builds these laser towers on her only escape from where she is and basically locks her in a corner and she can't leave because the laser towers will get her yeah the entire map like it's a plateau and then it's a trail from that plateau straight down like over like a moat basically so you have one way in one way out up to your base and i just built tons of sentry towers immediately in front of it and ruined her game a little spiteful but she deserved it she attacked me she had a comment she did i'm glad she's having fun with it though did she see the fun in your strategy like was she laughing about it or like eventually like

kyle was saying like we just got to destroy her now because we had destroyed everybody else and oh yeah like once you had to end up teaming up because i was an idiot and destroyed his forces when we should have focused on cliff but yeah that was a that was a longer game than it needed to be but but she was a learning experience for her at least i really liking these maps uh that i'm either making or tinkering with or downloading off the internet. There's, I think, C++. Is that? Tell me what that is. C++ is a language based on C.

It's really close to a B-. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so close. You're not coding in C++, I don't think. No, I'm not. But the people who are good at what i'm trying to do they supposedly are or they have lots of experience in it and they talk about how it it's good that they have that experience because it's helping them do what

they're doing ah okay yeah then the memory allocation in in c++ is tricky to get your arms around at first i don't think you have to do that. I'm ready to just give up. It's so frustrating. And I don't have it. Like, there's no, like, like, if there were a tutorial there to be like, oh, okay, now I understand. This makes sense now.

Okay, well, that's the order the processes have to go in. Otherwise, they don't work. But I'm just sticking shit in like a jigsaw. I'm copying what is there for me to look at and then trying to interpret it and, like, reverse engineer. It's frustrating doing it that way with zero, zero, zero experience. It's getting faster and faster though. No glitches recently.

Yeah, nothing bad's happened in a while. Ever since just that mood ruining run through the gate where all the people instead of running through the big archway, they just run up the side and straight down like it's an army of ants. Those are minor issues. I just need you to set a few boundaries. No, I know. But it's stuff like that that takes you out of it.

Oh, yeah, it's awful. Like, oh, okay. Like, wow, that guy's walking in a volcano. He just doesn't give a fuck. He's walking straight up. At one point, yeah, we were getting attacked right there, and so my guys were fighting like Spider-Man, looking straight down at attackers

on the other side of the wall. what's going on I kind of liked that part I thought about making a map where you can walk on the walls and stuff because that's easily done you just change the texture but yeah we've been having a lot of fun with age mythology playing with lots of fans I'm gonna play some play some tonight I keep downloading these maps and there's a wealth of maps out there since the game is like 12 years old or whatever the hell so yeah been enjoying that a lot did you find any other like good themed And there's a wealth of maps out there since the game is like 12 years old or whatever the hell. So, yeah, been enjoying that a lot.

Did you find any other good themed ones? I want to find another good theme one, like an attack and defend castle scenario. Oh, there are tons of those. There are some that are basically multiplayer role-playing games where you'll play the part of one character and I'll play the part of another and we have things to do. There's a Lord of the Rings one like that where one character's the dwarves and one character's the elves. Yeah, there's lots of that shit. Have you found that one? I know where it is.

It just requires a little bit more in-depth modding to make happen because right now I'm just copying some excess files and putting them in a folder. So it's not done? You couldn't just download it with all the prompts and everything? You can't download anything. None of it's not like done. Like you couldn't just download it with all the prompts and everything. You can't download anything. None of it's that easy. None of

it's like download and ah, now I have it. It's always like download, now extract the files and then place them in their own folder and then figure out which folder the files need to be in for it to work because of the version changes throughout the 10 year tenure of the game. The 10 year tenure of the game.

That's funny. 10-year tenure. Yeah, the 10-year tenure. So, yeah, but I've been having fun with it. Have you guys been following the UFC at all? Yeah, so Connor's back in, right? No. Back out again?

Yeah. Was he in, then out, then in, and now he's out again? No. What a well-organized sport. The thing is, twitter is pretty much a publishing agency that we all have access to so in a move that i don't fully understand he decided to tweet like hey i worked it out with the bosses and i'm back in you know hashtag mad respect to you for giving the fans what they want. Right? And I guess he was thinking, like, well, shit.

Now he's got to. I can't do it right now. Now I have to. I mean, he said mad respect and, you know, whatever. Whatever it is he said. It was something close to that. And the truth is, like, Dana and the bosses were like, well, we haven't even spoken to him or his manager.

He's like, did you agree? The other guy's like, no, did you? No. Yeah! Someone did! Dana White is like, I don't know why Conor said that. Nate Diaz stopped training. He's off in Cabo San Lucas or something like that.

Yeah, it's just off. So what they wanted to do was replace it with Jon Jones via DC. Daniel, I feel like because I can't pronounce his name, that I'm not a real fan. I think Cormier is right. But I keep calling him Cormier or Corm...

I don't even know. But anyway, that's a pretty big fight for people who like the UFC. Those are the two guys that went through the shoe with each other and they got into a fight on stage and stuff. But it looks like john jones broke his foot this weekend so he's doing what he's known for being a bit of a crazy oh yeah he kicked a guy in the arm during his fight like he was supposed to it's in july so he would have enough time to sort of turn it around but not if he broke his foot so uh it looks like he broke his

foot now that fights out and um uh mregor, is he back on the menu? So GSP apparently has a really lucrative deal with somebody. It's a clothing company, and it conflicts with Reebok. It's not Nike, so maybe it's Adidas or something. And GSP is like, dude, I can't come back and lose my Adidas thing. I'm making it up. It might be come back and lose my Adidas thing. Like, I'm making it up. It might be a lot of work. Yeah, Adidas thing. For him, wouldn't it be like Bath and Body Works?

Extended lotions? Oils? I'm sponsored by WD-40. I can't quit now. Yeah. He's like, I can't do this Reebok stuff, you know, and you got to sort it out with Adidas so that I can come in. And so GSP, who seems like he'd want to fight,

they're having trouble sorting him out. John Jones, who was their backup plan, looks like he broke his foot. And now here's Conor McGregor. What's Chuck Liddell doing? Let's get him out of retirement. It's really funny. I feel like they've been painted into a corner. I hope they don't go with him, and the pay-per-view numbers are

way off. I hope that this is the worst out of the the pay-per-view numbers are way off. I hope that this is the worst out of the last 20 or something like that. It won't be that. You know what the one thing I don't like that much about UFC is that it's almost like with any other sport. I just thought about this. You would never go watch a bunch of amateurs play football in a big stadium or play hockey or play baseball. You just wouldn't do it because you'd be like, what's's the fucking point i'm here to watch the best of the best fighting i would be just as likely to buy a fight between two waiters that i saw in a restaurant as i would to see whoever

the fuck from ireland and the pride of portugal go at it like i don't really give a shit i'd rather see like the the fear in the face of those people, and they're like, this is real. This is happening. Fuck. Oh, my God. I know that I can take an order without writing it down. That makes me feel really big inside, but my God, this isn't going to help me here.

Oh, you threw a right hook and a left hook and then an uppercut. After that, you kicked me in the face. Is that correct? I would love to watch that. Just common fighting. There's something. Ultimate. No, no. NFC. Normal fight. Normal fights. I to watch that. Just common fighting. There's something. Ultimate. No, no.

NFC. Normal fight. Or normal fights. I can beat that. No championship. Dude, there's a series on YouTube if you use their search engine. Felony fights. Oh, yeah.

Felony fights. We talked about this before. These are good. Yeah. I've watched them all. You've watched them all? There's so many. There's no way I've seen them all.

But I have watched a lot of them. Have you seen the one where pre-fight the guy is like, I'm a them all. You've watched them all? There's so many. There's no way I've seen them all, but I have watched a lot of them. Have you seen the one where pre-fight the guy is like, I'm a biter. I will fucking bite you. I eat people. Yeah. And the other guy, like, dude, so is he a felon? It's usually a regular person or some minor league felon. Like, this guy's an axe murderer, this guy sold like marijuana in high school

let's go and you know the one guy is like I'm trained I'm gonna get him oh yeah and the other guys like ah ah they're like using like he's like ah I'm a and you like he just growls a lot. He starts fighting, and he's not screaming at the guy. He's just growling. Like... And at one point, the guy starts like... Get him off me! Get him off me!

Like he was... They don't get him off him. No, they don't. So the scary guy who's growling is just holding the other man down, biting him. In the face. Biting like a – I mean aggressively trying to eat his face. Yeah. He's about to go into like one of those alligator death rolls, tearing chunks off.

Oh, and he – if I remember right, the skin was badly broken on the cheek, but it was just kind of like a flap. Like it wasn't removed and spit out or anything. And you look at it and you're like oh my god that's a cut and no there's the distinct teeth marks like you might get if you bit into a cupcake we'll bit him yeah fuck you got the submission though that's all that matters in the felony fighting league dude like a prize of 87 dollars and a four-piece hot wing from the low. My instructor when I trained in this Durham Chapel Hill gym, he was the champion of Kentucky, but it was called the Kentucky Fighting Championship or something like that.

So he's like, yes, I'm the KFC champion. That's so funny. I think of those felony fights as like Did you ever see Passion of the Christ? No I haven't Well basically what happens I don't want to spoil it Does he die?

Well he does That's what you think There is a Shyamalan twist I think he directed it At first When everybody's all, at first, when everybody's all pissed at Jesus, and he, they're blaming him for shit, saying, bring us Barabbas. You know, we want the serial killer. You take Jesus

and kill him. Everybody's just going bananas. They're loving it. Just fuck Jesus. Like, oh, that guy sucks. Oh, I can't wait to watch this guy die. He's carrying his cross. They're all screaming at him. Fuck that guy. That's like, in the middle of a felony fight, when it's really rough. And then, when it gets to the point where they're actually hammering him in and standing him up and he's everybody's like oh oh jesus that's the biting and when like they grab a guy's forehead

and just start like making a beat on the concrete ground like making a horse sound galloping it that's how i think of it where you you're really into it, and then the last third of it becomes very upsetting. Yeah. That's what happens with those. I used to watch the bum fights, too. Of course, there was the bum hunter, all that stuff. Really great stuff.

You know about the bum hunter, right? Is that a channel? Oh, is that the guy who just attacks bums and starts fighting him well no worse So basically he was like attached to the bum fights I got this bum fights VHS from the video store and on it one segment was called the bum hunter And he does his best Australian accent he dresses like Steve Irwin blonde wig khaki shorts too tight and khaki Button-up tucked in he is Steve Irwin and his thing is he's out to bag some hobos he's out to like sneak up on him

while they're sleeping in dumpsters or in alleyways attack them tie them up gag them and then start taking measurements while his associates like document the measurements he's met so he just jumps on these guys lights on lights camera action these guys are waking up and he's on this guy wrestling him like like putting his hands behind his back like zip tying him up and the guy's like what are you doing what is this who are you and he's like calm down big fella calm down yeah that feisty one yeah and he's like duct taping this guy up and he's like he's like all right All right Calm down big fella taking a measurement of the guys the circumference of his skull

With like one of those tape measures and then he gets he's got the measurement, and he's like writing it down on his forehead He's like all right noise that 27.5 and he writes it there. It's like where that dad Charles and Charles over there fucking writing this shit down It's really dehumanizing for the bum. He can staple like a post-it note to his ear with like 13 written on it. Fucking forehead! And it's very dehumanizing, but

my love for the crocodile hunter just made it funny enough that I had no problems watching and got a real chuckle out of it. So it was all okay in the end? Yeah. For us. Bums are traumatized. Imagine that they don't even have the animal planet, so they don't even get the fucking joke.

They're just like, what happened? Oh, yeah, they don't have anything to reference it by. No. I bet there's a lot of 70s references on the street. That could be the machine in the bum community, right? Let's tell all the current jokes and stuff i don't know bumps have cell phones now so you can swipe your card on their fucking easy easy pass thing or whatever i hope that's not true yeah i've seen that yeah no i was paying i was gonna pay for parking one time and the machine you paid looked so

sketchy and the sign that was pointing at it looked hand-painted and i was like fuck this we're gonna let's walk five minutes it's cool because it's like there are people just swiping their cards into this random machine over there and it's like shit i'm gonna set up a random machine somewhere just take money from people like it just looked like it was sat there like i could wheel it away you could be a doorman right just put a tie on and be like five bucks to get in. See how long that lasts. Doorman. Those doorman are pretty protective of their turf, though. Well, if you go to a place that doesn't have a doorman.

Oh, they're tolerant of doorman. They're doorman intolerant. Very strong union. That's when you gotta leg it. I like that guy's videos. Yeah. He's fast, too. Is he unusually fast or just... Soccer player.

He's a soccer player? Okay. Because I'm like... Because I think I would look like the police in that thing. I'm not a particularly good runner. I don't remember his name. He was like Urban Cowboy? Urban Games, maybe?

It's – Kitty, are you there? He might have been Ned. Anyway. Yeah, Ned. Nedge. Nedge, yeah. So what he would do is he would invent these like urban games that he would play.

And like the rules don't make any example. He'd go to a clothing store, get the little alarm system trigger that they like staple to close he'd walk through it so the alarm goes off and he looked at the cough and be like and he takes off running and they chase him and he's like if i get to a hamburger place i'm safe so he just started running he do like laps around like picnic tables and stuff and the come on he's he's he's clearly like an athlete because like not only is he much faster than anyone chasing but he's much more agile and he seems like he's got cardio for days because at the very end of it he gets to a burger king and he just like walks through the entire line pushes everyone aside he's like give me some

chicken mcfucking nuggets or something like that, you know, because he's won. Was this a prank or was it just someone being rude in public? Both. Rude in public. Yeah, yeah. That's not a prank. Well, okay. Hold on.

The one where he tries to get security guards to chase him I thought was kind of fun and funny. I don't know. Maybe I'm just not nice enough to security guards. And then there were some others like where – Urban rodeo. Yeah, it's just going to go there, actually. He jumps on their back and tries to stay on the person's back for eight seconds. So he finds

a big guy, like one who looks strong enough that he can just hop on their back. And the guy's like, what? Get off, get off, get off! And he's got a cowboy hat in his hand. He's like, come on! Woohoo! So that's just kind of being a jerk. Where is this guy located? England.

Oh, you know, he should come by St. Louis and try his fun pranks. He has. He's brought this show over to the U.S. The east side of the city, they love racial humor. Go over there, and they're going to pat you on the back. You'll be one of them. Best of luck. Taylor's onto something, isn't he? But anyway, I just wanted to say the third one he did, he like took, he ordered

fast food, like a cheeseburger with pickles and relish and ketchup. And then he threw things at people. And that one I really didn't like. Like he'd usually do it from a car or something. So he just throws pickles. He's standing out the sunroof, throwing random items from his fast food bag at people. And if he hits you with a McNugget he gets one point. If he hits you with a double

cheeseburger he gets five. If he whacks you with a quarter pounder with cheese he gets ten points. It's just made up arbitrary rules while he pelts people. It would suck for us. Fuck this guy. Fuck this guy. This guy's a piece of shit. Imagine you're like a girl wearing some sort of material. I don't

know. Some sort of silk nylon dress. No, hang on, because I'm pretty, pretty sure that the victims have been set up by their friends in association with Ned. So Ned knows this person, and they're like, I know the perfect person to throw burgers at. We'll get Dave, he'll lose his shit. And then they just happen to have Dave on the, you know, they take Dave and have lunch with him,

and then Ned comes by and throws fucking nuggets at him out of nowhere. I think that's what's going on, because I don't, but those fat people, he's definitely just jumping on fat people's back and biting them like animals. If that's, like, there's no good way for this to be. Either it's just really shitty, or it's contrived and false. There's no middle ground. It's either horse shit where it's like,

oh my god, come over here, my friend Dan's gonna walk by, throw him a nugget at him or two, it'll be a riot. Or he's just harassing people. Fuck that guy. That guy's a piece of shit. I like harassment. Much worse. That's just, like, unless, I hope it's all set up because that's inexcusable to be going around jumping

on people. I like it. See, now, it's funny because I picture myself as the jumped on, and i'm like i hope that i am a violent enough person to immediately like do something bad you know i hope that when he films me he's like the fucker kicked my ass like because most of them are just kind of confused and like shocked and and kind of like almost like i'm angry about you. And if you do that two or three more times, I'll do something. Like that's where most guys are. And I daydream like that I'm that guy that does something immediately.

Well, nobody would do it. I don't think anyone would do anything immediately there because your thought isn't I'm being attacked right away. If something like that happens, your first thought is like, Maya would be like, who is this? Like does someone I know, are they surprising me? We all know Woody's home defense strategy. It's bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.

So I'm willing that if someone jumps on his back, he's immediately got some sort of everyday carry implement out. I thought it was Osama. I don't know. I would hope so. I hope that I'm knifing this guy or at the very least doing some sort of front foot slam thing going on.

Because most of them, they're just like confused and running around and like trying to reach him awkwardly. And, oh no, you can't hear me? Oh, and Kyle's not moving so it's Kyle's internet connection. That's what it is taylor

can't see that but um but that's where we're back i think it's kyle's internet connection can you still hear me yeah i can still hear you now kyle's back yeah that's i'm pretty sure that's what happened there can you video is frozen as my voice stopped his video stopped so uh anyway yeah that guy that's just so shitty it is to do to people like it's not it's it's just it's i don't like it because it's not it doesn't feel like you've earned humor or a laugh it's not clever i saw when you weren't you weren't concise you didn't earn it you just did something obtuse, over the top, and childish, and basically scared people into eventually laughing so that they wouldn't appear

to be a pussy in the end. You're a manipulative fuck. You know exactly what you're doing, or you're too dumb to realize it. You're abusing people out in public. This guy's a piece of shit. I've got another prank that I saw that I think you would like, Taylor. Who pranked you as a child? Did someone jump on your back and do an urban rodeo to you once? Did someone put a whoope and do an urban rodeo to you once?

Did someone put a whoopee cushion in your no-no spot at one point? In my no-no spot? What the fuck? Yeah, yeah. Is that why you have such ferocious opinions? Show us on the doll where the man put the McNuggets. All right, all right. So I saw another prank that was actually really good,

and I think Taylor would like it too. Two escalators. You know how in a shopping mall, there'll be escalators surrounded by glass and stuff. And one goes up and the other goes down. And there are handrails that go with the escalators. Well, the guy would reach to the far side of the handrail and touch another man's hand. And people are like in distraction. Like they're distracted.

They're maybe talking to their friends and things. And all of a sudden comes a touch that's like this. You know, like, yeah, yeah. And like some people were like laughing about it. Typically the guy who got touched would be a little mad and all his friends are cracking up hysterically. Some of them were at the bottom like you know hold me back hold me back but of course it's wasted because the stairs are

going the wrong way yeah there's a crowd coming down and like yeah that's not that that's not bad see now i can't think of someone who would really really get mad over that but that's not mean spirited yeah but now the version of that that i like is the one where there is a fat woman going up and literally a man dressed as a clown going down and he pies her in the face with a cream pie and she's like struggling to walk down a up escalator and he's just having a great time of it i like that one a lot i that that prank is the least believable thing i've ever seen in my life i know right It looks so stable. It looks like a scene out of Christmas with the cranks. Or something nonsensical.

I think it might be real, so I choose to believe. Oh, you choose to. Suspension of disbelief. Yeah. I don't know. I think pranks are fine. I'm not on the whole, like, all pranks are shitty that a lot of people seem to be thinking now. But, like, in my opinion, pranks should be fun. Like, it should be not mean spirited. It's not meant to be a prank where you're the one getting a ton of joy, terrorizing someone for a couple minutes, and then they have to accept it as a prank.

It is a prank where you fool somebody and they even kind of fall in on it. there was one prank I was watching where they had this like blind lady sitting down and she was doing like a drawing of people and saying like she had a guy next to her and he was like yeah she can draw you she just needs to touch your entire face and she can do it and then you can keep it we're doing a documentary and people were like okay so she sits down and starts like touching people's faces like really

invasively like really doing it and meanwhile she's just scribbling nonsense on here and they have a special printer in the back that prints onto the same kind of paper they're doing and it looks exactly like the charcoal that you draw and so they just like oh wow give the guy in the end they're like all right here just sign this real quick so we can use it and while they're having him sign the release form for the video they just switch it out and she just kind of like blindly like touches his face a couple more times and then just gives him the picture

and the guy's just like what the fuck like there's no way this blind bitch just drew me like this it's like a photoshop filter and took a picture and turned it into like a charcoal drawing yeah nobody's humiliated nobody is feeling victimized it's's just like a fun thing. What the hell? Out of this blind person drawing. Yeah, it's like, what the fuck's going on here? In this guy's world, that prank would have ended by like, you just walk up and punch that dude in the back of the head. And then you go like, oh, gotcha! You like stuff his mouth with nugs or something. Like, ah, I hate that guy. I don't even know what he looks like. Don't even know. He's British, so he's just stomping around over there with no fear.

A soccer player. The kind of guy that has to run. Oh my god, I hope he doesn't fall down and skin his knee in one of his crazy pranks. There won't be anyone around to call a whistle. Anyway, I don't know. That really pisses me off. That's rude. So there's a big voting day today i know i i'm huge is it the biggest um they're calling

it super tuesday 17 i believe so it looks like trump um so i haven't seen any of the exit polls but i've been watching the polls going in and it looked like trump was going to sweep all five fucking states big surprise in states like ind Indiana where everybody thought that was a cruise state three weeks ago or something like that. It looks like the pieces are starting to fall into place. I saw that the betting odds have Trump at 70% likelihood to get the nomination. I saw the cruise camp and the Kasich camp momentarily coalesce seemingly and say hey, you focus in this state and I'm gonna focus

in this state you tell your people to vote for you here but tell your people to vote for me uh over there and and maybe we can edge Trump out of maybe a couple states simultaneously rather than just both both of us losing and they had simultaneous press releases six minutes apart where they basically said that that has since fell apart, which leads Trump to quickly interject, oh, look at these fucking politicians. They can't even make a deal between themselves to beat me. They can't even make that deal stick. They can't keep their word when they're lying.

It's great. Did you see when Trump ripped Bernie? I saw... It was a tweet. God, I want to get it just right. But it was something like... Go to Twitter? I'm going to go to...

He's the kind of guy who tweets a lot. A lot. I've seen him defending Bernie a couple times. This one was kind of... Oh, here it is. All right, let me read it to you. Bernie Sanders has been treated terribly by the Democrats, with both delegates and otherwise

he should show them and run as an independent yeah okay this does a lot of stuff right like assuming this gets any traction bernie people might go from bernie to trump when he's out trump is indirectly threatening that that's what he would do i would run as a third party if you know since if i was treated that badly by my republicans um it i don't know it sends a lot of warning shots and i thought that was super interesting uh yeah yeah i saw that that's that's what i i thought you said it was a something bad about sanders i didn't mean yeah that doesn't sound bad. No, I didn't mean to say it was bad. She tweeted about him, though. And, yeah, someone had broken it down in a way that I thought was kind of clever. But, yeah, so he encourages, oh, and by the way, if Bernie were to take his advice,

then he would split the vote with Hillary and Trump would be an instant winner. Trump threatens that he would do that and Hillary would be an instant winner. What if it went four ways? What if Trump and Sanders go independent against Cruz and Hillary? A four-way presidential bid. I don't know who wins that. I want to see those numbers. Someone needs to figure that out. I don't know. Probably Clinton, right? No. Clinton was my first guess. Maybe Sanders. This is complicated to explain to non-Americans, but the Democrats have a much easier road to the presidency.

Just the way it's divided up. The states that are reliably blue... Yeah, not if you were reading Reddit. Things can change, but historically, the states that are reliably blue get you most of the way to to the presidency and the states that are reliably red don't so you have to win like every toss-up if you're a republican and that's not true as a democrat you can just win some of the toss-ups because you're you're already there but i feel like trump is the giant slayer in this thing and i'm not a huge trump policy guy but in terms of how he's running his campaign you can't help but notice that he's just slayed everyone he's set his lasers on yeah you know and it's like four way between those people i think i'd want trump the most

like you might say well he's not slaying cruz yeah he did cruz and casick are both mathematically eliminated they're just sticking around for some dumb reason. Trump has 2.1 million more votes than Mitt Romney had this time in 2012, and Mitt Romney, they just gave him the nomination. It was over. There wasn't any consideration of where, like, fucking the dominoes king of Georgia was.

What was the black man? Herman Cain. Nobody was saying, wait a minute, Herman Cain might have a resurgence. Maybe if Herman got together with Bobby Jindal and Newt G a minute, Herman Cain might have a resurgence. Maybe if Herman got together with Bobby Jindal and Newt Gingrich, they could coalesce a few delegates together. And wait a minute, wasn't like George Bush Sr., wasn't he in there early on? Maybe he's got a delegate. Doesn't he have a delegate? Rick Perry, he remembers what he's going to do now. He's got it together. That's all over now. We're going to five-way mix up against Romney.

Nobody was talking that. It's crazy to see how openly corrupt they are with their opposition to Trump. It seems like these people who are supposed to be just neutral parties just really are. I read it somewhere, and it was really good. They said that in Iran, you can vote for whoever you want for but the Ayatollah has to approve them first. You can only vote for who the Ayatollah says can run as leader.

He picks the candidates. He picks the candidates and then people vote for the candidates. We're recently learning that the US has the same system. Maybe. Sometimes they let us pick. We think we do because we always pick the same guy they want us to.

This time around, we try to pick Bernie and they're all like, no, superdelegates. We try to pick Trump and they're like, yeah, it's brokered convention. Yeah, I think there's superdelegates on the Democrat side and pledge delegates. If there were superdemocrats on the Republican side, I mean, Trump and Cruz would be tied. I made that up, but you know, it's something like that. Like, Hillary has like four or five hundred superdelegates and something like twelve or thirteen hundred

voted delegates. So does that just mean the Democrats can pretty much dictate much more easily who it's going to be by just allotting all of those votes? Well, we're imagining that all of those delegates, all those party leaders, are behind one set of reins. And they can really be – I imagine it's more of a – like think back to House of Cards for your political science.

And it seems like it's hard to get everybody on board with one thing because there's so many different ideas and so many different concerns. On the Democratic side, I want to say the superdelegate count is like 450 to 18. And what is a superdelegate? How is it different than a regular delegate? So in terms of a vote, they both count for one. But a regular delegate, and only Democrats have superdelegates. A regular delegate is based on the voting. So I'm North Carolina.

We've got like 22 delegates. The vote goes 60-40, so it gets split up. My math is surely wrong, but we'll say 12 to 10 or something like that. We also have five superdelegates, and they vote for whoever the fuck they want. So it really is just a way so that they can subvert the will of the people if it starts to get a little too out of hand. That's exactly what it's designed for. It's designed to subvert the will of the people if it starts to get a little too out of hand. That's exactly what it's designed for. It's designed to subvert the will of the people

in case they don't do what you want them to. And historically, the superdelegates kind of line up between the who the people do. So, for example, Hillary had most of them when she ran against Obama eight years ago. But when Obama was proving to be the winners, the superdelegates switched. I don't know if that would have happened with bernie so is he for real done yet i mean because i keep going back to that

forum and they keep acting like you know right around it could still happen it could still happen look he's not mathematically eliminated and i and he's got those those superdelegates are still out there I think she has to get 90 percent of of some number and then it's over right the the fucking rules are so stupid and foggy and there's two sets of rules minimum to that you have to be up on but it seems like the simplest answer is it's not over yet because he has a lot of money a lot of money he's been out raising her for some time now and so he can keep this thing going right up to the uh... convention the question is whether the party will allow to go into the convention

or and the real question i that is to the party rules allow them to end it uh... and when he's being competitive right now in a lot of states but and and i see that they're making millions of fucking annoying phone calls to the citizens of states across this great country of ours. Harassing people. You know what? I've been too hard on the Sanders folks recently. I know that it isn't nearly as big a deal as Game 7 was

in the grand scheme of things. But I lost hope in that seven-game series, and I ended up being wrong. They're losing hope. You might end up being wrong. You might ended up being wrong. You know? Yeah. You can't, they're losing hope. You might end up being wrong. Might end up being right. You know, except we actually had a shot,

you know, we were actually the better team, uh, as proven by the fact that you won game seven and you were the higher seated team going into it. So, yeah, yeah.

We didn't have to score, I don't know, 800 goals and hope that all those goals got allotted to us. St. Louis scores again. Looks like they're giving it to Chicago. Well, not going well. So perfect. Welcome to American politics.

So I think we all enjoyed the season premiere of Game of Thrones. It didn't progress the storylines very far, and that's what you always want. But they only have an hour, and there's a lot of storylines. Okay, a couple things there. One, they could have used the hour, right? Sometimes I see Game of Thrones and I'm like, ooh, this episode is an hour and six minutes.

Of course, it's not because it's like three minutes credits and three minute preview. But, you know, that's cool to me. This thing was 54 minutes and if you take away on either side, you barely had 50 minutes of show. It was like 40-some minutes, like a made-for-TV hour. And so they could have used more time.

I wish they had used more time. They have in the past. The episode where there was the big battle at the wall, I think that episode is entirely at the wall. It doesn't leave Jon Snow at all. That one's like 50-something minutes long. It's extra long. Most of them are longer than this.

Yeah, this was a short one. A full hour. The only thing I really, really disliked was how the entire Dorne thing is a completely different tempo than the rest of the show. It feels like the show was directed by one person and they picked some other person

from a sitcom and they were some other person they did a sitcom and they were like you go handle dorn and then they saw what they were doing with dorn they're like what you just got them doing a bunch of one-liners and that's exactly what's going on that's exactly why it feels different and why it looks different it's horrible there's there as far now i don't know about this season the current season we're watching but in past seasons i remember that there were two separate film crews. One that was filming in the green slash snowy filming

locations, which is in Europe somewhere, I think, and the other one that was filming in Tunisia or wherever the fuck doing the desert stuff when the Khaleesi was in the desert. So I think they still have the same thing. So you're getting a different show, I feel like, when you go to Dorne.

And, man, I saw that whole Dorne thing coming from a mile away. That sand snake is staring down. I noticed they recast one of the sand snakes, the one with the whip. So maybe we'll get some better fight. The perfect close quarters weapon. Right? When she was, like, nodding it up, and he's got one of those quick fencing swords almost, I'm thinking, like, bam, you're dead.

You're dead. It's over. It's that. It's that and you're dead. Or what, you're going to hit the whip? You know what, I wish it would have. You can't hit me with a whip hard enough for me not to kill you with a sword. I wish it was a real clip of what would happen in that situation with those two small women attacking an adolescent boy.

Where they're like, and which one of us will you kill? And then the other guy just grabs the spear gently pulls it away kind of pushes her down doesn't want to hurt her but she gets all pissy and then he stabs her that's how it would go and then you go try to apologize to his dad but he's dead and then that he gets stabbed in the back by that awful bitch but my god i can't handle dorn it's making me it's making my face pucker up because it's so out of sync with the rest of the show it doesn't make the dialogues different it it because it's so out of sync with the rest of the show. It doesn't make the dialogues different.

It's horrible. How did this get passed? They could have given all that time to Arya. I didn't think it was that horrible. I didn't think it was terrible. I just have a bad taste in my mouth already about the Sand Snakes and everything they're about because I feel like it's not realistic for some reason. No, it's not because i read a post that touched on this they really rant in dorn about the shame of kin slaying in the book the

shame the complete it wouldn't even cross a dornish mind uh you know to to kill a member of their family it's out of the question beyond the they don't kill kids they don't kill kids either and then that entire ethos is thrown out the window and it's not just well the sand snakes kind of got a little out of hand and they were the only ones who did it no a bunch of the guards just sat there and so apparently the entire civilization is now okay the whole culture just changed because some dick had to fit in a couple more bad pussy jokes that don't fit i think she's the one she might be the one who's not in the show anymore. Good. I don't remember.

Those weren't even her tits that you saw in that episode of The Cell that was CGI. Yeah, I saw. I noticed that. Very frustrating. Now that I've seen it again. Yeah, I don't. Melisandre actually was CGI too as she was aging rapidly. Really?

Yeah. She didn't actually age that quickly. Oh, okay, okay. I hope that we're actually seeing Melisandre naked because she has an amazing body. I really like seeing her naked. It just doesn't seem possible, though, because her body's so good.

Yeah, I was even looking at it being like, this is off. How old is the actress? 36. Okay, then it's unbelievable i'm guessing but i'm probably wrong she could be 46 all right katherine van halten 39 she's older than 19 there's a little bit of cgi there right yeah her ass is outstanding although look look all you got to do is go on the like milf subredditreddit or something like that. You'll see a lot of older, nice-looking ladies who are holding up just as well. But her ass is outstanding.

And it's just giving the finger to gravity. It doesn't care. Like, look, she's a beautiful woman. And, you know, whatever. Women still have value over 30, et cetera, et cetera. But if she's... That body is so perfect, she can't be over 29. It can't be over 29 without

help. I don't know. I don't know. It's not real. It's clearly CGI. I'm not positive that it's CGI. I can definitely believe it. I'm going to stay a skeptic at this moment. Maybe some research will... Also, the other thing is this her face is aged

Sure, right like she has well you guys got to deal with that I mean, you know there's nothing they could do for that you got to suspend your disbelief for that there No, look. I'm not saying she's ugly. I'm saying that you know if her face is that of how old did I say she was 39? 29 no no she's Her face is that of a... How old did I say she was? 39? 29. 29. No, no. She's... She said that she has the body of a 29-year-old. But in reality, she's... Yeah, she's 39.

And she has the body of a 29-year-old. Or better. Or 19 or something like that. Yeah. The fact that her face looks 39 makes me think that, like, it would be weird if the only aging that occurred to this woman was, like, neck up. I don't know. Really?

Some people are like that. I mean, how, like, I don't know. I don't know because I'm not an old man. But do you get, like, more wrinkles on your dick as you get older? Like, you just, your dick starts to look old? It gets looser. And, you know. Oh, yeah, well.

There are definitely people who take very good care of themselves and make that a point throughout their lives and who hold up really well. This could be her. Just seems a little unlikely. I'm doing a research trying to find out about that. Yeah. We've really got to get some experts on

the case here. Kyle will find it because she's a little perfect and plus like several other characters um you know have been known to cgi too trying to think of what else in the episode to talk about other than... Hmm. I don't want to spoil anything, but really there's not much to spoil. All they did was rise, or beg the question the whole time. A bunch of new questions.

So they used an 80-year-old body double. And she was really sweet, apparently. And she did six hours of makeup i don't understand how they use both the body double and makeup well they put the makeup on the body double that's that's not what she's saying though you saw that what that thing looked like you don't think there's an 80 year old ghoul out there they use an 80 year old woman not

an 80 year old ghoul like like they took anyear-old woman and then they did that to her. Yeah, she's not really a monster. They used many hours of makeup and they also used an 80-year-old body devil. So, I don't know what was going on. They definitely did something because if you put old lady clothes

on that body and you saw that walking around your local grocery store, you'd be like, what the fuck is that you'd gun it down and be proud right cuz she was what I did everyone I killed it well done good job for this guy you know supposed to be 80 supposed to be two or three hundred which is I guess

why she looked like that yeah so it was good I don't know I like the Aria plot line didn't go anywhere the Jon Snow plotline barely went anywhere. The Sansa plotline moved. So that's cool. You know, Sansa's now escaped where she was on the run before. The Dorne plotline advanced and we all hate it. Yeah.

The Cersei plotline went nowhere frustratingly oh really i disagree i thought that was when the boat is returning yeah that to me is not a thing jamie that's huge it's huge but here's why because since season circe and jamie have not been together and unified since season one since they were fucking in that broken tower. They haven't been unified. They've been apart. And that's been a real problem for all the Lannisters because you don't have those two focused at the bottom making everything right.

Now they're back together and unified and motivated with the death of two out of three of their children now. She thinks this prophecy is forecasting the third. They're going to be hyper-protective. They're going to kill. They're going to pillage. Lots of people are going to die. It's going to be great. They're going to be hyper protective. They're going to kill. They're going to pillage. Lots of people are going to die. It's going to be great.

They're going to take it all. Jamie's going to kill Cersei. Jamie is not going to kill Cersei. No. He is. I don't believe that. I say it because I think it's in the prophecy. I don't believe that that will happen.

I don't think that will happen. That would destroy too much of their backstory. Yeah, I don't think that will happen. This is Game of Thrones, baby. It'll happen. I don't think that'll happen. That would destroy too much of their backstory. Yeah, I don't think that'll happen. This is Game of Thrones, baby. It'll happen. I don't believe that. She'll die differently. She may not die. Actually, yeah, she may not die. I don't like her.

Okay. So she might stick on through it. $5 PayPal bet. We'll have to see how my bet with Chiz pans out on these delegates. So what do you have? $100 on Trump getting the nomination through delegates. So what do you have? A hundred bucks on Trump getting the nomination through delegates. How close are you?

When is the soonest that you could win that? Well, California would be. Probably California, I think. Is that soon? No, June. This goes so long. I know right

Normally it doesn't Now I don't know about Chiz But I feel like I still win the bet If like his competitors drop out Because he's got the majority and he's just named the guy I said he'd win through the normal route Not a convention That was my bet I believe

I feel like you win if it's first ballot You know If he wins in the first ballot you know yes yeah so if you if he wins in the first ballot then yeah you got it i think so if he wins or is just declared winner however that comes about you know what i mean because cruise um cruise in case it could just drop out out of nowhere i've heard that donald has supposedly been warming up to uh little marco a little bit he's calling him Senator Cruz now, or Senator Rubio now,

or whatever he called him. Might be courting him for some sort of vice president, or what makes more sense is courting him for his 174 delegates, I think, that he still has. And he's got some control over a good number of them.

Who do you think Trump should pick as VP? Who he should pick? Palin. No. God, no. Don't even. Sir. I wonder what Bernie would say.

If he had a Latino, I think that would be good. That would be great. If he had a Latino woman. Rubio is Latino. He is. So is Cruz, though. Just throwing this out there. good uh that would be great uh if he had a latino woman rubio is latino he is he's so it's cruz though um just throwing this out there trump is gonna have a hard time winning new york from hillary right he has a chance no republican since like um reagan has won new york i think you're right but trump's from new york so let's put him in the game, right? He went to New York. He's the president.

I'm saying he's from New York, so he's in the game to win New York. It's competitive when it's normally not, maybe. I don't know. I think it's still a long shot. Giuliani's his VP. They easily carry New York. Trump's the president. Oh, that's good.

Or maybe he picks another reality show star, get them started. Beeple the Bam. Amorosa. Ponderosa, is that what he said? Omarosa. Omarosa. She was this black no-nonsense chick from his Apprentice show. Real scumbag.

Well, then probably not her. Who would be good, though? Another public figure that's not a politician he has to pick could be an actor actress gotta be 35 athlete anything

um huh an athlete huh Kobe's retired do I have to be American cause Conor McGregor's on my heart no they gotta be American do you have to be american because conor mcgregor's on my heart now they gotta be american well do you have to be american to be vp or no yes let's assume yes because your heart beat away um who would be good i don't know man it's it's hard to say i i think a smart choice giuliani set does sound like a smart choice so would casick and carry ohio um casick has firmly said no it would, Ohio. Kasich has firmly said no.

It would be really weird. Kasich has firmly said that he would make a terrible vice president. I'd make a terrible vice president. But then he's going to be like, maybe I can figure it out, though. The cornerstone of my entire life has been overcoming situations that I've never been in before. I think I'm going to take this challenge head on and become the greatest vice president there's ever been. When I say that I'm terrible it's only because my standard of excellence is so high and to dictate perfection for me to even

begin to say that I'm anything but terrible. These are real politicians. Like he could change, he could come out as gay and do it with a smile and explain that it's been part of the plan the whole time. I mean, come on, folks. We saw this coming, right? Kaka's the pillar that holds this campaign up. All right, so I picked Giuliani. You guys pick your two. Let's see.

I think he's going to try to pick somebody who's already in this thing i i think it it makes sense for him to go after casick the most or and then after that god rubio just doesn't make sense to me because rubio did so poorly in his own state i don't feel like he carries his own state state although he does speak spanish which is nice i I think it's Rubio Kasich or Cruz, and I don't know which one is more likely. Kasich is the one I would pick. What demographic does Trump struggle with the most? Women.

Hmm. Palin. Are you sure? Yes. Not Palin. Palin is literally retarded. Palin is off the rails. Way back when when she was out there talking to the Mama Grizzlies getting the whole Republican

Party electrified. Getting the female part of the party electrified into it. Talking about these soccer moms with the blitz. Joe the Plumber. Go on. Yeah, all that shit. That's gone. She's burnt out. I don't know if someone if

she had a like a an ear piece in that whole time and they were just putting those words in her mouth but when she speaks off the cuff now it's clear that she doesn't have a grip on the english language much less reality i actually agree with everything you're saying michelle bachman right she comes off pretty pretty great i think she's just she's super her smile makes me think she's so polarizing and i think if frankly if you're gonna pick a woman pick someone who you can tell at least used to look good does that make any sense it does and i think the same is true for men because trump used to look good and you can tell cruz has always looked like that cruz looks like a broken thumb.

There's so many people making fun of the way Cruise looks online. My favorite is, of course, that Maury guest, the overweight woman who looked like him, who has now agreed for the sum of $10,000 to film a porno with her fiancé. Yes! It will be

to the theme of the election in some way. I hope they get a a donald trump guy in there to like you know come in and like cuckold him and fucker cruising for booty ah it's gonna be great man this election cycle is the most it's got to be the most interesting ridiculous cycle in a hundred years at least like to say my lifetime is just a silly thing to even throw out there because i mean shit that doesn't even go back far enough but in a hundred years, at least. Like, to say my lifetime is just a silly thing to even throw out there, because, I mean, shit, that doesn't even go back far enough. But in a hundred years, in a real long time, since, like, you got to go back to, like, when they talk about these contested conventions and stuff,

they're like, well, when Lincoln did it. And I'm like, really? You're going back to fucking Lincoln? Like, I don't want to hear, like, what if I brought up Jefferson and owning some slaves every time that comes up? Like, it's, come on, what are you doing? You've got to go back to Lincoln to make this make any sense. Yeah, you should change the rules if the last time it happened is like,

this is like that bullshit in Air Bud where that ref brings that big book out and he goes, well, there's nothing that says a dog can't play Little League soccer and the parents on the other team should be like, fuck you, fuck you and your ass. Get that dog out of here. My kids are playing. I'm not letting you leave this dog on the field attacking me. Attacking my children. Well, I think he has to pass a physical like the rest of the kids.

Doctor, does this look like a human player to you? Nope. Fail. I had a question. Yeah, fail. Can he bite the children? Just go in there and take his heart. What's his temperature, Doc?

105. That's a little high for a human, wouldn't you say? Yeah, yeah. He can't play. You know what they should have done? They should have had Javier Bardem go out there with his fucking roadside machine and just... And then, no more Air Bud.

No more wide receiver. None of those awful movies. The first one's good. Tom Arnold was on the Stern Show today, talking about maybe it was a replay, I'm sure the stern show today talking about maybe it was a it was a replay i'm sure but he was talking about how he did all those shitty movies because he's done 150 movies and he had to kill it one time he explained it really well he was like look i had this deal and my agent and we thought it was a good idea and and basically it was it was worded like this

you'll do three to five pictures as a supporting actress next year here's five million dollars and it was like shit that's steady work it's guaranteed and he kept getting into the cycle of that and it led him down a bad path but he was also talking about his experiences going to arnold schwarzenegger's parties this motherfucker has wild exotic animals brought in and there's there's like women and like all kinds of crazy like extravagant stuff going on and there'll be like a tiger in the kitchen there'll be an alligator in the den there'll be like ostriches roaming around the pool and stuff he was describing and it sounded insane it sounded like the most fun ever dangerous he said it looked like the tire was

tiger was a little doped up so I'm going to have a pool. No alligators allowed. Shit. I'm just laying it down. Yeah, I'm not going to do that false edgy thing where I bring in dangerous animals for my animal party. I'm just going to bring the fun ones. Bring a couple of fun dogs. Maybe a llama.

Not a llama, actually. Fuck those. Most animals are shitty. What would you even bring bring you couldn't bring any birds i don't know it depends what what you're what you call shitty though because i feel like some people like anytime an animal doesn't like obey them they're like oh what a shitty animal but like when i was hanging out at that ranch out in texas like the emu would come up yeah the camel the camel the emu the kangaroo now weren't necessarily friendly, but they were interested in me, and they were non-violent.

And that's all I'm really looking for. Yep. Camels can be good. Anything that's been domesticated or trained. Shit, I think you have a lot of personality with camels, too, because the camel that I was hanging out with, Sushi, had been owned by a millionaire its whole life and babied and treated nicely.

And it was also castrated, which has to calm him down some. owned by a millionaire its whole life and babied and treated nicely. And it was also castrated, which has to calm them down some. On the internet, I've seen those things grab tiny Arab men and throw them over its camel's shoulder. Like, it bites you on your shoulder and lifts a grown man and throws him. I wonder if they were also owned by millionaires

their whole lives. Probably not. I don't know. They were probably fucked by fucking... Millionaire Arabs might fuck camels too. I sincerely doubt that. Maybe. At least a classier animal. Goat.

No, I said classier, Kyle. Sheep? I mean, it sounds cushioned. Some sort of mountain cat. Ooh, that's pretty classy actually. That is high class. I mean, wearing a tuxedo. What about like a bird of prey? Like an eagle?

You can fuck this, I bet. You think he's like jerking off on a bald eagle's face like because he hates America that much? Like some sultan somewhere, like, yes you think, these emetic, ha ha ha! You know, I have nothing to do with that and I still got really offended the idea of a sultan jerking off on a bald eagle like

every day either way you know maybe the Soviets had a had one to jerk off on too I'm sure they sure they did. Oh, I've been watching Archer. I'm really digging this season. It's good. I'm four shows in. Am I current? Yeah.

Dude, I like it, too. I'm really enjoying it. I wish Archer released in a binge. I wish that Archer had hour-long episodes. It's great. Last season didn't suck by any means, but this season is shaping up to be way, way better. I'm digging it. You didn't like one of the seasons,

like maybe the cocaine one where she got hot and stuff. The cocaine one, the whole first few, like I think Pam is fucking hysterical in that show. Like the whole, like all the tats on her back and she's actually a street fighter. Yeah, the Yakuza. Yeah, the Yakuza. Like it's fucking, it's so funny.

Ah, it's Yakuza. She came back in that season and was all skinny, and, like, the only joke from her was like, oh, you got more coke? You got more coke? You got more coke? I was just like, oh, goddammit, I want to see gross, fat Pam be a behemoth brood person around and just bother everyone around her.

Dude, I liked every season of Archer ever. And to me, I know you like Pam, I like the chick that likes getting choked. And she only has one joke But I love that fucking joke every time she tells it you know Crazier and crazier as the seasons go somebody like you hit her by accident like it like I love it She got hit in the head recently, and she's like Intentionally like piss people off so they'll abuse her

She fell in love. She'll intentionally, like, piss people off, so they'll abuse her. Like, that's the thing. Like, she's always fucking with Pam. Oh, I really, what I really got a chuckle out of, and maybe it wasn't that big of a joke, but the name of the dog on the poster that they sent out to, like, get business was Furlock Bones. Yeah. Yeah.

Love that. And I keep repeating it and laughing my ass off at it. And they're getting a lot of business through those funny flowers. If any of those left this building, I will sew you into a burlap sack full of cats and throw in the river. I like that guy too because I like Bob's Burgers now. Bob's Burgers has a lot of characters, but I like Bob the most. I don't know. That show kills me.

His voice is enough to get me to watch some shows because his cadence is just perfect for joke telling and humor. Yeah. I remember in Bob's Burgers, I forget, might have been in Our Tribute. Anyway, when he did the audition, he thought he had to do an accent. And he's like, you hear him tell the whole story. I can't imitate him, but he's like, yeah.

And, you know, they needed me to do an accent, but I don't do accents. This is the only voice that I do. I was really nervous. And then I found out I don't need an accent and I'm listening to him like as Archer like Fucking everything fell into place by chance Yes, it did Yeah, he just is Archer mm-hmm, and he does not at all look like how you would imagine that guy at all It's like that's a short kind of fat bald guy. Yeah at all look like how you would imagine that guy at all.

It's like, that's a short, kind of fat, bald guy. Yeah. What? Yeah. That's Archer? One of my favorite things about Archer is he has this ridiculous, obscure knowledge about things sometimes, especially historical occurrences.

And like, oh, that's because Archduke Ferdinand was doing... And you're just like, whoa, why does he even know that? But then last week, he's like, I'm pretty sure chickens give birth to live, young, like sharks. Yeah. And they're like what yeah that's a good show i like it a lot um yeah i'm watching uh the people versus oj simpson i'm and i uh i got fx uh and it's all on there so i don't have to pay for it and I'm digging that a lot. That's really good. Cuba Gooding Jr. is like such a

convincing OJ. He's in the car with the gun in the Bronco. I'm not spoiling anything because this shit happened in 94, right? 92. Just don't tell me if anybody dies. That'd be a spoiler. I won't tell you if he's guilty or innocent. I don't want to ruin it.

He's in the car with the gun, and he's crying, and it's a super high-pressure situation. And Cuba Gooding Jr. does a great job. And then you've got tons of big actors in there. You've got Schwimmer from Friends playing Kardashian. They get the Kardashian kids in there, and Schwimmer has this moment at a table when they just have gotten a nice table because of who he is

where he tells them he's like fame is fleeting and hollow if it's not accompanied with virtue and strong character it means nothing without that and the kids just and you can tell that he's realizing that the kids aren't getting that there's that nice little fuck you to

the Kardashian kids just interjected right in the middle of the OJ story I loved it so it's Chandler from Friends. No, Ross. Ross from Friends. And who's the other guy? Cuba Gooding Jr.? Cuba Gooding Jr. plays OJ. You know him, right? Mark Shapiro is played by

you know, lead counsel is played by fucking Grease. John Travolta. John Travolta. Really? Yeah. It's very good. He's the only one I think is still relevant, right? Maybe I'm totally wrong. I didn't think Cuba Gooding Jr. He's had a rough time of it, but he's really performing well in this.

I personally think highly of him, but a lot of people kind of laugh that he... Made a lot of shit movies. I love Snow Dogs. People almost relish when an when uh actors not getting jobs anymore did i say something wrong no i i said that i loved snow dogs but i didn't i don't relish it it's just like i think it's weird how how fickle that is you know where you look at a guy who was on something like friends and it's just like it's over swimmer i think swimmer does a lot of work that's just not that we don't see i think i thinkimmer does a lot of work that's just not, that we don't see.

I think he does a lot of Broadway stuff. I think he's okay. That could be. Some of those guys on like IMDB, like you recognize their face, but you don't recognize their name at all and you'll check and it's like, holy shit, this person's been in like 200 movies

or something. I think that's neat, how people can have a career in there and not even have to deal with like the shit of being like super famous like that really tall guy who just plays bad guys in suits he's from like namibia or something he played the original predator and played like really bad guys oh that's funny yeah yeah that that's interesting to get out of the oh michael dorn michael Dorn, yeah.

I don't think that he gets recognized at the grocery store all the time. No, but he gets stared at because he's like 7'2 and weighs 90 pounds. He's not that big. He's a regular-sized guy. Wait, who are you talking about? Michael Dorn, who plays Worf in Star Trek. He's been campaigning for years to make a new Star Trek show about Captain Worf or Commander Worf or something like that, where he's off doing his own shit.

They've always said no. Like the Cleveland show. They're filming a new one, a new Star Trek series, brand new in Toronto. I think it has started filming or it's about to so there will be a new Star Trek on television. I hope it's great. I really liked the last two by J.J. Abrams

and I worry that it won't be as good without him. Oh, you're talking about Beyond. So I was talking about a new Star Trek television show that'll air on network television, I believe. But, yeah, Star Trek Beyond with this new director, still produced by J.J. Abrams, which is a good sign, I suppose. At least to keep his name attached. Eh, we'll see. I watched the first 10 or 15 seconds of the trailer

a few weeks ago and it looked pretty good I don't know we'll see yeah call to wrap? yeah I think so I gotta get some food I'm hungry Jackie delivered me Colin's birthday cake while we were here he's 13 now

Colin's a teenager nice happy birthday to Colin happy b-day alright painkiller nearly episode 89 While we were here. He's 13 now. Colin's a teenager. Nice. Happy birthday to Colin. I'll let him know. Happy B-Day. All right. Painkiller Nearly, episode 89.