Painkiller Already - PKN #95

Episode Date: June 17, 2016

It's PKN time baby!

Oh, here it is! Alright, A Painkiller Nearly, episode 95. 95. So, Woody, you're home alone for 10 days. I am. I don't know the story behind it, and what are the plans? Actually, no, first tell us, like, what was your thought when you knew you had 10 days alone? How long of the... Have you seen the tweet, by chance? Oh, I'm gonna be lonely.

No, I haven't. Did you watch the video? Where you're... can I say? Yeah, you're sliding around on your socks with the... Yeah, I don't even remember what movie that's from. Risky Business with Tom Cruise. Risky Business, before my time. Yeah, that was – I was like, am I going to do all this and no one's going to get the joke? Yeah, maybe so.

I thought maybe it was iconic enough that like – I know it, but like I mean I watch a lot of movies. I knew it more from that Guitar Hero commercial from years ago. From Guitar Hero you say? I knew it more from you're also not a guitar hero commercial from years ago yeah from guitar hero you say i knew it more from the guitar hero commercial years ago than the risky business movie oh it was a it was a girl though it was like it was a hot blonde chick and she was some ladies slides in and then she's jamming out on the plastic guitar i was just counting on it being iconic enough right because like um king kong climbing the empire state building is before my time but i still know that scene everybody does um scarlet franklin my dear i don't give a damn by the plane or whatever long before my time but everyone knows

that scene right i was hoping that somehow the underwear dance well for you at your age it's like someone referencing one of hom Homer's more obscure epics, not the Iliad or the Odyssey. One of those ones that's on the lower shelf at Barnes & Noble. So anyway, yeah, the underwear dance. It'll be live, I guess, by the time most people see this. It's tomorrow's vlog. Now we're just editing it together.

Yeah, I don't know. It should be fun. I think you confused casablanca with uh with um it's gone with the wind no gone with the wind oh yeah i'm wrong well he says frankly my dear i don't give a damn and gone with the wind but they're by a plane and and bogart saying here's looking at you kid in uh in uh casablanca i think you're right i think that's exactly what i did i mix I did. I merged them together into some sort of movie fusion restaurant.

The greatest movie of all time. And just as he's walking away, he turns around and goes, Rosebud. And it's perfection. And then they destroy the ring. And then they make it home and it turns out that uh i really like taylor's lord of the rings references the fact that he works it's his like seinfeld superman like like you just

there's a little mention of it almost every show so oh hodor no no um. What was the thing that I was like, it's a fan theory. And then it turned out to happen. Right away it happened. Yeah, right? Like in the opening scene the next week, I'm like, son of a bitch. Well, thank you. Bran, thankfully, didn't kill all the White Walkers. But this guy suddenly comes back to life.

That's next week. Next week, Bran is going to be literally flying with wings, feathery wings. And laser beams will come from his eyes, and he's just going to cook them all. That'll be my nightmare. Yeah, it turned out you were dead on there. He came right on back. Yeah, no, it's going to pan in.

Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. To Bran and his tree, and it's going to go, and they were all of them deceived. It was Bran the whole time. He's the grand arbiter, ran at his tree, and it's going to go, and they were all of them deceived. It was Bran the whole time. He's the grand arbiter, the orchestrator of all of it. And then he starts marching

down. His legs have been fine. He's a big thing. Hey, do we know who killed the people at the end of the last episode? I guess I just spoiled something there again. Yeah, so they're definitely, he called them the, it's the men without banners. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the boys without banners or whatever.

It's like the best pop group from the 90s. Yes, exactly. They sang Cover Girl. I was a big fan. And they definitely worship, you know, the fire god. Okay, those guys. Yeah. It's the same group that do you remember they changed a couple of the actors up uh i believe the lightning uh

the lightning knight uh barrick and derrick darian barrick and darian that guy's name so hard for me he was the guy who got brought back to life by the priest of the Lord of Light, who was kind of like the Saruman to Melisandre's Gandalf, like the most powerful of the Lord of Light priests. And he was the one who was bringing him back to life. But they switched him out, I guess, because now the Lightning Lord is some other guy. But yeah, I expected it because it did kind of happen in the book. I didn't process that.

But that guy who brought the other dude back to life like nine times, he was meant to be more powerful than Melisandre? She referenced it once. And she said something in the show. I don't remember anything in the book referencing it. They made him sound like a drunk. Yeah, they made him... She said something like, oh, he was like a drunk, a drunk but you know uh yeah yeah that's what it was

like only one man has ever risen from the dead and he's done it multiple times so it's kind of like he's like a doctor house you know he's got a terrible drug problem but he's so great you just can't fire him no it's it's yeah i remember it now like like he was a complete joke he went to brothels he was a drunkard All that stuff when he was in the capital city. It always slips me. When he was living there, but then when he brought that guy back to life, he kind of got some faith, because

he literally saw himself bringing the guy back to life, and he kind of changed his ways. I didn't really get the hierarchy of the fire worshipper. And now you've got that smoking hot red priestess over there with Tereus. Yeah. What was I going to say?

Oh, yeah, because everyone's talking about, watch me do another spoiler. They're calling it Kligan Bowl. Have you heard of this? Where the hound is supposed to fight. The Kligane Bowl. Yeah, where the hound is going to fight the mountain perhaps in the uh that seems to be the way things are heading i heard another fan theory and that was that the sparrow was going to have tommen represent him and that would put her in

a real quandary because it'll be the mountain against tommen and she has to choose herself or her son and a lot of people online seem to agree that was a more germ thing to do than the klegan bowl no no no i don't think that yeah that doesn't sound like combat is not just like even in that fucked up world there has to be some sort of rule against like, oh, I challenge you to trial by combat. Oh yeah, who's your favorite person in the world? I pick them to fight for me. Your mom? You're close to your mom? Well, the person has to agree.

I think what he's saying, what the fans are maybe saying is that the king is so brainwashed that he'll be tricked. But I don't think that'll happen. No, Cersei's got her hooks in him. Like, just as much. Just as much, yeah. I don't know. From her kids and all that mental abuse and dependency issues.

I'm serious. Like, Cersei's an abusive mother. Let me just toss this out there. If Tommen dies, I think... No. Margaery... I was going to say Margaery would be the new leader, but I think that would only be true

if she had a baby in her belly. I get a little confused. Around there, it seems that it really depends on if she's got any army of people who like her or anything, because what they usually do is just go in there and stab, stab, stab, and just move along.

He's dead? Stab, stab, stab! Stab them all! Stab them all. Go to plan B, the stabbing. Pokey, pokey, pokey. Yeah, everybody gets stabbed. I was shocked to see Arya get stabbed, but not at all, because you saw the old lady coming around. Sweet girl.

Sweet girl. I was, like, staring at that woman, like, oh, shit, it's the blonde girl with the mask on. She's going to stab Arya. Like, I saw it coming from a mile away. I thought she looked exactly like, you know, the blue-lipped man who was crazy a few seasons ago who lived in that palace and did magic tricks for like 20 minutes in one episode then it was like well see you later this is a weird kind of adventure where we stop in and then leave like this is a hanzo and gretel we went in

your house of candy realized there was trouble and we left uh i thought it was that guy because it looks exactly like him. Correct. Just the sunken sallow eyes. I think that Arya is going to next episode stumble into maybe that same brothel that Theon's into. That would be pretty cool, right?

Because Theon just left Sansa and now he runs into Arya. That seems like a fun thing for the show to do. I'd like that. He seems like... I can't think of who else whose arm she could fall into that would help her other than Theon that could even possibly

be in that part of the world. I literally missed this whole scene. It was like 3am. I was up late editing and I realized Game of Thrones was that day. I have to watch it or the internet will spoil it for me. And I watched it from like 3 to 4 a.m. And I don't think my retention was very good.

Now you have to re-watch? Well, I'm afraid Arya has been stabbed. Spoiler alert, you bitch! Also, Jon Snow and Sansa are raising an army to take back Winterfell and and Jaime Lannister is organizing things

down at Riverrun to try to take I liked that scene and I do appreciate like Game of Thrones had a real serious problem with too many old white guys with facial hair and even not like saying like oh you know that's ridiculous because i guess in that medieval kind of era it'd be a lot of old white guys but when you add the beard everybody becomes

you know it's like the dwarves on fucking uh the hobbit you're like i don't know their names just fucking oh yeah like when you're watching that first movie and, like, they get two dwarf names into, like, that intro list. We're like, this is Oingy and Boingy. And you're like, all right, fuck it. I was totally expecting Taylor to be like, oh, you don't know their names? Well, there's Dasher and Dancer and Vantage and Vixen. Just, like, going through the whole list like he knew them.

That was one thing that even in even as a kid reading the hobbit i didn't give a fuck like i just like it was like oh it was like when i was assigned to read as a kid something in leviticus where it was like and hose uh you know yonas beget noah and noah beget samson and samson be i just but just oh whatever whatever whatever whatever just get through those dwarf names none of of this is going to matter. They all look the same. Kill one, just swap it out. They're not going to die anyway. I'm a child, and I know this is a children's book. That'd be pretty

fucked, but yeah, I've liked the recent Game of Thrones episodes, and I didn't like how easy Arya got out of the assassination. But hang on, hang on. You were talking about, um, you were talking about the old white guys with beards and what you liked about the river run scene oh the river run scene i liked how uh all of the frays they have that nice like bonnet cap yeah that looks really silly but it makes it

really easy to differentiate them and immediately pick like yep those are the two guys that killed you know that wedding they're dressed like henchmen they're wearing black robes with like cowls or something, with hoods or something like that. Like, yeah, you can always pick them out of the crowd and they look dirty and greasy. They look like assholes. They are worth so much money and they're just greasy slimy assholes.

Like, they're one of the half of a tenth of a percent of people in that world can bathe when they want and they just choose not to but i liked how jamie came in and was like yeah i just walked in here with my entire force you better be fucking thankful that i'm on your team because what's happening like there's just people standing around it looked like it's just they were loitering there was i didn't even it didn't look like a siege and that's taken that siege that's happening now happened in the books and like that was supposed to be happening instead

of the whole dorn stuff and yeah um it's kind of nice to see it happening now in the books i remember the dialogue being really good so i was like let's you know i want to see this acted out but i don't know if it was just good in my memory or if they altered it, but it didn't. It wasn't so great, the negotiation. Yeah, I like that scene. I like him facing off against the Blackfish. The Blackfish was a great character. Good actor, too.

He said something. He's like, I wanted to take the measure of you. I'm disappointed. Yeah, yeah. Like, Jamie just really doesn't have anything to say to that. He's like, well, yeah. Like Jamie just doesn't have anything to say to that. He's like, well shit. Well, I'll see what I can do to improve your opinion of me I guess. Let's dig some trenches guys, come on.

Like, fuck. It's great. Yeah, I like the black fish. He's a dick, but he's well- We'll hang you son! We'll cut his throat! He's like, well do it then! he's a dick, but he's We'll hang your son! We'll cut his throat! We'll do it then! And walks away. It's because he's not an idiot and he knows if this pans out the way I think

this is going to pan out, he's already dead no matter what. I liked what he said to Jamie. I thought it was pretty powerful. It was some of the more powerful dialogue in the show. Something like, I was born in this castle. I thought it was pretty powerful. It was some of the more powerful dialogue in the show. You know, something like, I was born in this castle. I'm ready to die here. You know, he was just like, yeah.

And Jamie, you could tell Jamie's like taking the measure of this guy himself. He's like, shit. All right, this is going to be tooth and nail. He's like, we've got enough food for two years. You've got two years, Kingslayer. And he's just like, no, I don't. I got like four months tops. I got to get back.

I'm on a schedule. I got, like, half a summer to take care of this. Now, what I know about this stuff is a spoiler by any definition, but I will say I really enjoyed this part in the books. Yeah. Well, I'm digging the show i really am um i i do wonder like all right you got an 8 000 man lannister army you couldn't like take out the sparrow before you left like 8 000 of you 8 000 of you that's like i'm having

a hard time we've all seen how those like police riot uh horses deal with crowds and how it's just like... Yeah, very effectively. It's a losing end for the crowd. And it's just cops riding horses. They don't have lances, spears, or even pokey sticks. No swords, nothing like that. 8,000 men on horseback ride into that city and fucking... And maybe 1,000 of them are just up front with swords and spears.

I just don't understand why this bunch of dudes in cloaks with, like, thumpers i'm gonna call them are gonna be able to do anything that's the thing like i'm having a hard this is the sparrow is in some ways described as like the most powerful person in the land right now right more powerful than the king more powerful than this like any this we get that right unbelievably, etc. But I haven't seen more than 12 dudes with perhaps $18 worth of armaments combined yet. But the thing is, it's like a deterrent against the people rising up. It's like right now, if we wanted to take 1,000 Marines and storm the Vatican and kill the Pope, we could. It would not be hard we could walk right in past the eighth grade tour to our left and walk up and kill the pope with a thousand

marines but then it's the problem of a billion catholics who aren't enthused and are probably well actually they're probably not going to do that much so just to point another one but there's a few extreme catholics out there and hey the whole all all of the muslim community the all of islam makes peace with us we join hands like this could be a great thing maybe we should kill the pope you think you think that's going to be the straw where then all the problems in the middle east are like ah no now that's what we're doing we've been going the other direction for far too long yes you need to give in give Give in and just let people conquer you. This isn't very Trump-like.

No. No, it's not. Trump would never say you should kill the Pope, Kyle. I don't know. I don't think they're big fans. The Pope is talking about Trump's wall, but the Pope has... Have you ever seen that enormous wall that surrounds the Vatican? It's a beautiful wall. It's a beautiful wall. It's a beautiful wall. It's huge. It's a huge wall.

Have you guys been there? They add insult to injury. It's not even a wall. If Trump builds a wall, it's not going to be carvings on the Mexican side of the wall showing all of the fun we're having in here. And like, woo! Like people shotgunning beers. That's what the Vatican is there's like

carvings of people in orgies and what not having fun in Rome don't remember the orgy carvings it's true look it up look it up not now though but it is a pretty wall there's all kinds of like architecture arches and shit like that

and there's secret passages and tunnels and stuffches and shit like that and and there's secret passages and tunnels and stuff so that important that's something that's so underrated is like seeing big catholic churches i don't know about like catholicism is the big religion here um saint louis obviously and i don't know how mosques or temples and everything measure up in the end but uh there is one here the uh cathedral basilica has the biggest mosaic on earth in inside it on top and i've never been inside except unless it was like a fucking field trip when i was nine i don't even remember but uh the outside of these things are so ornate with gargoyles and stuff it's just cool you know even if you're not religious it's still cool to be like that i don't know what it says about me because like

when i see a church having obviously blown like just tons of money like tens of millions or something on an incredible building i think god you took money from people and you spent that you're really terrible but if i see a government building and it has some ornate architecture, I think that's nice. You know, that thing's there to last. And it shouldn't just look like an office building. It should be – it should say something about the state of your town. The people who made it. Yeah.

You know, put some architecture in your city hall. It should be a good- looking building and not like a prison. Look at these images. These are outrageous. Pretty mosques. Yeah. The Jumeirah Mosque I don't know whose buildings

stack up higher I know they're both heavyweight contenders though Mosques and churches are just good looking stuff Christianity, Islam This Sunday Buy the whole seat but you only need the edge. Just something that's so silly.

Looking at pictures of mosques. Oh, that's a cool one. That one's pretty neat too. Oh man, I bet that one would be real cool in person. I don't think we're allowed though. I'm quite sure we're not allowed. No, go ahead.

I don't know. Is that true? Like they wouldn't accept outsiders? I don't think so. I don't know how strict. Islam does it where you're not supposed to be able to go in to the mosque in certain places, I think, unless you're Muslim. I don't know how strict they are in the United States. I'm sure they'll let you go in, at least just for a tour. I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong. But like Mormons, you can't go in the temple unless you're like a confirmed Mormon. You know, they'll have like the church where you can

just go and, you know, have your whatever mormons do preacher and you know tips on bicycling around good roots um and then if you're a real intense guy then after that you can go to the temple and that's a super secret club have you ever seen big love no i've uh it's um it i think it's on showtime maybe maybe. It's Bill Paxton. He's like a polygamist. But he's like an undercover polygamist who owns a chain of Walmart-style Costco stores. So he's worth a couple million dollars. And the way he continues his polygamist lifestyle, his life of polygamy, if you will, is he buys the houses next door to his, and each one has another

one of his families in it. So he has all three houses in a row in this neighborhood. I really like that show. And it's a really interesting way of how he came to be a polygamist. He was living a normal lifestyle even though he had just a generation before

polygamy had been in his family. They'd been part of one of those sects where they practice it. But he had just one wife and two children, and she starts dying of breast cancer, and they don't think she's going to make it. And the way the Mormon religion works is if she dies and he remarries, then the new wife will be in their celestial family forevermore. That's what they believe. So she wants to be in on the decision of who his

new wife is going to be when she leaves. Because remarrying is also something that's very important that there's a mother for the children. So they just add a new wife to the mix as it just seemed like it made sense. Well then she pulls through. She makes it. And divorce is certainly not in the cards. So they're like all right well real estate's cheap here so and then i you know maybe five years later there he's like hey how about a third and he and he adds like a 22 year old like uh brunette chick um so it's so he's always balancing these three ridiculous women and their lifestyle. And this is real?

His business. No, it's drama. I see. Yeah, I saw at least like a YouTube video of that, and I just remember one clip of they're in one of the houses, and it's like, oh, this is, you know, every other Tuesday, all the wives get together with our kids, and we all hang out, and of course Scott's here or whatever,

and it's just him sitting there there's like eight hens about like talking like in in groups clusters like people do and then just a gaggle of children so many uh this one no that's not this then he's because he's got this one i was watching i don't know i only saw the inside of the house so i don't know if they had a bunch of houses to the side. But they're all there together, having their shit, and there are... This guy had to have, like, 12 kids or something.

Which is just... I think he's only got, like, five. I think he's got five. Why is it a douche move to have 12 kids? I don't know. It's just... This guy's a millionaire, and he can totally support them. There's already so many people. Wow, that's really liberal.

To say that people shouldn't have kids. That's an environmental disaster area. They shouldn't have 12 kids. Oh, no, it's not that. I'm thinking more maybe they have great family structure and discipline in polygamist relationships. I don't know. But it seems like the kids not all of

them are going to be successful a lot of them are going to be takers people who don't succeed because they didn't get the structure they needed you know you got one dad 13 kids the dad's always cruising around looking for a seventh wife i take a similar way like it's not that i'm against people having 12 kids it's that I think to have 12 kids You need to be some sort of parental superhero The same is true with having three wives One wife for me Is plenty

Like enough If I had a second wife He wakes up in the morning And keep in mind this is a TV show This is a drama He wakes up in the morning and he's got to go to all three of them and appease them before the day begins he's every one of them always has a need one of them wants money one wants attention and the other one wants like time and to focus on some things they all want like hey we need to talk about jason schooling we need to

talk about this we need to budget for for the future the other wife's like i need you tonight like come on i know it's not my night but can't you stay over tonight and then the other wife is like well can't i just use the credit card and she's got like one of them secretly got 25 or 30 grand worth of credit card debt maybe 50 like she's got like this many credit cards and a shoe box full of receipts and she's like balancing them with each other and just continuing to like order like really nice things for her kids so that they look better and that she looks more taken care of than the other wives um and then the third wife marcy is just kind of she's really young and fun and just kind of along for the ride so it's a really good show it's called big love

is it hbo it's i think it is HBO, yeah. Maybe I'll check it out. It sounds like those kids aren't... They're going to grow up and maybe be a little shitty. Bill Paxton is pulling it... It's so funny to watch him get rung through the ringer because his stress level is always here. He's trying to run this very successful business and he's making all this money

and everything's always going well with that, even though he's fighting for it every step of the way. But then he's got that awful thing going on at home, and he's trying to keep it secret. So he's always having to sweep stuff under the rug. That sounds like a nightmare. I bet there's like, if they made a movie about it, there'd be like a funny sing-songy montage

where he has to go to parent-teacher night at the school, and he brings a bunch of mustaches and hats. He's like, I'm here for Dylan. He's in Tom's class. You were just here for Tom. Oh, no, no. That man's gone. See, that's the things that causes friction. He's not able to claim some of the kids.

That's just the neighbor woman who's living next door with her kids. A lot of whores on this block. That's one of their complaints. She's like, they think I'm a whore or something, you know? Like, they just think I'm some unwed mother. I pop in every Tuesday. You know, they'll start to notice structure.

They do have a schedule like that. Like, there's, you know, which night you're going to spend the night with him. Or he's going to spend, because there's three houses. And the fact that in these relationships there never seems to spend, because there's three houses, he sleeps in. And the fact that in these relationships there never seems to be any menage a trois is disappointing to me. Like, come on, you're all close, right? I get it, though.

Like, to us, it seems like a natural way for things to flow. But for them, I understand why it's not. It makes sense. Although the Bible does not specifically say that lesbian sex is a problem at all. It's a real missed opportunity. To call it a sin in the Bible? No, to not get the other wives mixed in. Yeah, yeah.

God drank too much the night before. Just slipped his mind. Oh, I have a bad joke. Oh. Just enough time to squeeze it in i suppose three guys find out they have three weeks to live they realize they have nothing to show for it in their lives and they decide to try to get into the guinness book of worlds records the first guy says i have pretty long arms maybe i've got the longest arms in the world the second guy says i have a big

chest maybe i've got the biggest chest in the world. The second guy says, I have a big chest, maybe I've got the biggest chest in the world. The third guy says, I have a small dick, maybe I've got the smallest dick in the world. So they each submit their applications in the Guinness Book of World Records headquarters. A week later, the book is published, and they all gather around to see the results. The first guy opens the book and says,

hey look, I've got the longest arms in the world. And the second guy opens and he says, hey look, I've got the biggest chest in the world. And the second guy opens and he says, hey, look, I've got the biggest chest in the world. And the third guy looks at it and says, who the fuck is Marka Durka? Huh? Oh. He was the small dick guy.

No, I get it. I get it. I saw it coming about halfway through. You're right. That you can put anyone at the end of, where it's like, oh, I put in my, you know, biggest racist in the world card. Who's Donald Trump? Like, and it's just a, you know. Those jokes are the worst.

But like, like you've heard the joke and you know, it's really about Bill Gates or something. And they retell it and it's about someone you admire. You're like, really? You know? Yeah. Yeah. Bill Gates or something and they retell it and it's about someone you admire you're like really you know yeah or they like take a bad political spin on it and like take dick out and put like worst fiscal policy and they try and

you know the one with the guy in the balloon like he asked for help and he's like no let's keep that one a mystery I don't want to. Oh, I love Kyle's face during Bad Joke. Yeah, he does it on purpose. I think that's totally visceral, what he's doing. Did you ever watch that show Lie to Me?

Oh my god, that show is so fucking stupid one of you has to have watched this for me to say anything about it because it won't make sense is one guy he runs a business where he's an absolute expert at detecting if they're liars yes he's in a lot of Quentin Tarantino

movies I don't know his name he's the guy who gets shot in Reservoir Dogs and he's like the one what's his name do't know his name. He's the guy who gets shot in Reservoir Dogs and he's like the one... What's his name? Do you know his name, Kyle? Yeah, but I'm not going to be able to pull it up. This is not my... Tim Roth! I was about to say that.

He was the abomination in the Hulk movie. The Hulk movie? Yeah, the Hulk movie. Hulk. Smash. Anyway, so Tim Roth is the guy who they teased I remember I watched this on Hulu years and years and years ago when it was first coming out and it was like all the commercials with this

swab detective guy who was looking at people and basically being like a Simon Cowell of like, bullshit. That's bullshit and I'll tell you why. Your eyebrow twitched. And I was like, oh, this is pretty neat. This is going to be like a psychological thriller. And then it was literally that. I was like oh this is pretty neat this is going to be like a psychological thriller and then it was literally that

for like I watched like four episodes and it was that of scenes of him sitting down and saying like tell me about how that fire started and the guy's basically like well well I was uh

I was I wasn't doing that I was playing with matches. No, I wasn't doing that. I was eating a pizza. And it was like, oh, my God. I can tell he's lying. And then other times, there was no middle ground. And then in the middle of the other end of the spectrum, it'd be someone totally quaffed and be like,

I couldn't possibly have been at that site the other night. I had this convention I was at. I was on a conference call moments before. And then he'll be like, that's all well and good. Oh, wait. And then it'll do like a flash screen of like the guy's mouth as he was saying like, hello. And it's like,

and he's like, and it'll say on the screen, like, like Twitch indicates disgust or something like that and the guy's like i got you yeah i got you nailed here and they're like fucking got him again tim high five that's the whole show it's the most disappointing show i've ever watched like three seasons of it and there's only one plot line to every episode on par with that that's from's from three or four episodes. Oh, it just keeps going. It doesn't get better.

They don't start turning it around. They'll show, like, this is the look of a guilty person. And they show, like, Nixon and Bill Clinton and maybe Anthony Weiner. So, like, a bunch of people who have been guilty of a thing all making the same facial expression. And then in comes our star and of course that guy's like you know making it too oh fuck i see it and uh yeah the show is awful and uh it's a show that like it didn't have legs to be a show. He's a character that pops in every once in a while on NCIS and helps them out. And then goes back to being similar to the always Asian guy who works in the lab and tests semen. And is a little bit gross, like in Dexter or something.

Having said that. He's an ancillary character. And they tried to build a whole show around this dude. But on the other hand, I feel like Psych is built on just as thin a premise and it's a very good show to me. It's better written.

I like that show. But not much better. I think they're pretty much, they're very similar, the two shows. So much so that I confuse them. At first, I thought you were talking about it.

I was like, yeah, the blonde guy who always figures it out. Like, oh, you're talking about a different guy. Wait, you're sure it's not Patricia Arquette, The Ghost Whisperer? It's not that show? No? Like, there's been so many of those stupid fucking shows where they're always solving those whodunits.

There aren't that many whodunits to solve. Like, if you watch one week of, like, late night, of, like, I guess primetime television, that's what's on, huh? You would imagine that there's nothing but rape and murder in every major city across the country constantly that needs solving. I hate those procedural dramas. I hate the whodunits. I hate the mystery stories. I watched enough Matlock as a kid that I know how every one of these is going to end.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there's no point in any of those shows, be it CSI, NCIS, even like Dexter and shit, where Dexter more so. Dexter had a cool thing because Dexter's murdering people, you know? It's cool to like get

inside his weird fucked up head and then you know, kind of get the backstory of when he got fucked. I'm thinking more like later seasons where it got to get like archetypal and shitty where it was like almost like, oh, look at that. The eight minute point looks like Dexter's on to scene where he's being snarky with his sister. He'll then go to see someone he wants to murder, brood about it for a bit, decide not to do it, and then eventually do it anyway. Like, it just. I didn't like the seasons where like like where he had like a buddy and stuff like that like like he was always like trying to team up with somebody i always

hated that okay dexter was his sister hot uh she's i i do not like her as an actress i had a friend so i'm kind of split on it. I don't think she's hot. Her husband was sleeping with my ex-girlfriend's friend. I think that's what caused their divorce. I'm pretty sure my ex-girlfriend's friend was much hotter than her. She was in the exorcism of Emily Rose. Are we talking about real life?

The actress? Yeah. So the actress's husband was sleeping with your... My ex-girlfriend's friend. Oh. Well, that's not really the actress's husband was sleeping with my ex-girlfriend's friend oh well that's not really the actress's fault well unless i mean it was her husband who did it right obviously something wasn't getting i presume she didn't want yeah i'm sorry that's the closest relationship i ship i have with her with with deborah morgan what if it was like the same guy that like she got i'll even bring that up. Yeah, she got cheated on.

Yeah, I don't know. I was like, oh yeah, I kind of know. I've heard about her in real life before. No, I don't think she's that hot. No, her teeth are kind of fucked. And she's got kind of a rat face, kind of a weird chin kind of thing. There's a cartoon character.

I forget, is it Archer, the cartoon? Not the handsome detective guy, but... She looks like she has really sour candy in one... Hey Arnold? Hey Arnold, that's what I'm going for. She looks a little bit like Hey Arnold. The eyes are really far apart. But I gave it a lot of thought,

and I'm like, I couldn't tell if she wasn't pretty or she was really pretty. And I landed on really pretty. Well, I never had that. Well, she is incredibly flat-chested and she has washboard abs. I like those things. She's not incredibly pretty. Yeah.

Seriously, I think that's really hot on a girl. And even her foul mouth was somehow more sporty to me than, you know, just regular English language. And, like, I, then, you know, just regular English language. And like, I'm like, you know what? I think she's like, I like this fictional character.

I'm down. I didn't, I didn't think she was hot. And I, and I tried to, I thought that Dexter's British girlfriend was much hotter. She was great. Um,

she's poured in my tits. That was great. Um, Dexter's girlfriends were always hotter. Yeah. I even thought thought was nice smoking hot now here's a big problem I have with the show

early on with his wife what was her name again? Deborah? not Deborah that's his sister who cares Dexter's wife early on was really mousy looking and she always looked rough no makeup her hair was like not done

she wasn't dressed well i don't know if it's thriving in life like she dexter kind of rescued her if i recall yeah that's true but but like the next season or like season two or three or four somewhere in there they like flipped it like like she goes from like zero to ten she's like all of a sudden she's got like perfectly done makeup perfectly done nails hair she's dressed well like so much upkeep that she wouldn't be able to like take care of her kids you know what i mean it was like 500 bucks to turn that ship around oh no 500 a week maybe to look like that what i'm saying is it's completely unrealistic for her to look like she did on a weekly basis like she literally looks like she's like to get your nails and hair

and makeup done like hers is done every week takes professionals. It was clearly professional work that was being done. It didn't make any sense for her character. But she is super hot in real life. They hit her body a lot, but she's got massive boobs. She's in really good shape. How old is Kelly Ripa? She's aging well.

I don't know. Probably up to 38. She was on... There was Regis and Kathy Lee, and then it was Regis and Kelly, and now it's Kelly and Michael Strahan. And then he left. And then he just left, and now it's Kelly and the host. She didn't know he was going to leave.

They just told her, oh, by the way, Michael's leaving. She's really upset about the whole thing, apparently, behind the scenes. Why is he leaving? I didn't even know he was on. I thought they really didn't like each other. He's the gap-toothed football player, isn't he? Exactly.

I think he's getting his own show. I wouldn't have expected him to be as good as he was. Not that I've seen many of these, but, you know. You never know. You ever see Deion Sanders hosteders hosted like a miss america or miss universe one time and he's barely literate so he's up there reading these questions how would you say if you was axed but stray has really well spoken and and that comes across good really well he's a natural in front of the camera.

Most people aren't like that. If you took a regular person, even if you stuck them on PKA, they would get roasted by the people watching the show. Yeah. So I'm going to flight training tomorrow. Yeah, we've got a guy. We have a dog sitter coming over tomorrow. And he'll be staying in the house.

He'll be alone? Is there anybody there? He's married. No, no, not the instructor. Your dogs. Why don't you just leave the dogs alone, I think is what Kyle was getting at, right? For two days. Oh, two days days you're going on an excursion i'm leaving so here's the deal it's a three-hour trip each way which is a six-hour

round trip and um we're gonna do two days in a row which is 12 hours of driving that's a lot and um so what i'm gonna do is just leave tomorrow morning get a hotel, and do two days in a row. Ambitiously, I'm hoping to fly before the next painkiller already. We'll see. I'm hoping it goes well. I'm hoping that you stay safe and that you don't get up there and suddenly realize, oh my god, I should have realized that every time I was in the air, I felt sick. And now I'm vomiting.

And my life is in my hands in this fan machine up in the air and not in a professional's. Oh, wow. I didn't consider that. It might have been the PKA subreddit. Someone posted this guy who gets air sick. And so here's the guy. The guy went sailing, right? And he became an avid sailor

and he had motion sickness. So his way of dealing with it was just kind of like speed all the way to vomit. Like, oh, I feel it coming on. And then internally, he would get his body to vomit and then he'd feel better.

Right? Because after you throw up, oftentimes that's like, that's when you get over the hump. And for him, that was his method. He didn't fight it. He just sort of raced with it. So it's some Ipecac before we fly.

It was more of a... I don't know what the opposite of mind over matter is, like mind under matter. He would just like, oh, I feel a little bad. Bam. That was his method of recovery. So when he got into... It wasn't paramotoring, it was paragliding, but it's essentially the same.

And he would just vomit all the time. Like he'd feel bad. Sometimes he'd vomit three or four times in a flight. And he'd just like duck out. That's a man who did not save his receipt. And now he has to pretend to enjoy flying. I love it! He just hover covered in it.

I watched a YouTube video. A warehouse or a Costco, make a little bit of money back. I watched a YouTube video of this guy and his method of just vomiting. He's like, I got really good at vomiting. I didn't get anything on my clothes, nothing on my wing. He was like a pro level,g pro vomiter yeah and uh he wrote a story for like paramotor magazine or something on how he overcame his air sickness did he though he didn't overcome it he will get thin and gives the air sickness what it wants without even a fight every single time no well

in the article even accost him he says please sir please i'll bend over take what you will let me throw up and and no he did not beat this i hear you but he did though in the article he wrote that's what i used to do and i realized i went in the wrong direction on that now i fight it and i go and i go and and you know most of the time i don't throw up at all uh, yeah, he realized that he was headed in the wrong direction, a direction that might have worked for sailors, but not necessarily for people flying around. Yep, you don't want to force yourself.

Yeah, he was having the same realization that a lot of 15-year-old girls do. You know, it's just not a long-term solution. The spit? The throwing up. Oh, okay. I went in a whole other way with that i didn't realize you were making a bulimia joke i i thought you this was a sexual awakening joke i'm i'm a bad person i guess i've got it yeah he did so anyway uh see i get car sick but not while i'm the driver right like that's not a problem for me while i'm the driver no one gets car sick, but not while I'm the driver, right? Like that's not a problem for me while I'm the driver.

No one gets car sick while they're driving. It's just when they're in like the back seat. And I had this idea that the same thing would be true for flying. And I guess we'll find out before too long. Shit. I know, right? Oh, you got your receipt. Do you?

Do you still have your receipt just in case you have to return your flying i don't even know i i don't know but it's not like the guy doesn't know me like the same guy that does my instruction is the one that sold it to me we all know what went down i can just imagine like like a bandolier of vomit bags when you take it out. And you're just like, bombs away! They were stopping from like 800 feet in the air. Don't worry, they'll freeze before they hit the ground. Deal with it, peasants! I'm up here!

As you're going 16 miles an hour in a whirly bird up there. Just... hour in a whirly bird up there just people hearing retching echoing of the meadows above their homes i was talking about your flying machine the other day and and the your the way that you could like put it in your truck potentially it's not an airplane it's a flying machine The way that you can kind of travel with it. And I was telling Chiz, I was like, just imagine if there was like a zombie apocalypse

and like the three of us were there and I was like, well, I guess we got to get to a high position and arm ourselves. And Chiz was like, well, maybe we could dig a hole and like hide from him. And Woody's like... I was like, you know, I'd shoot him down. He's like, yeah, I'd shoot him down too. I was like, you know, I'd shoot him down. He's like, yeah, I'd shoot him down too.

You dicks! I would just hope that there weren't any slight declines to run down nearby. Because then you're in deep shit with that contraption. Then you're just running around like an asshole, distracting everybody else as we escape. With a slight decline, you would just fly. Yeah, you'd just take off. Because the chute catches you. Yeah, you'd be fine. you just take off because the chute catches you yeah you'd be fine so if you're running through like a flat street how how many steps until you're up in the air so i'm not an expert i haven't

actually done this yet but it appears that if there's no wind at all it's a lot of steps i'll call it like 30 to 40 and it's not flat okay If you're taking off into like an eight mile an hour wind, it's like three. Up, up and away. I know all our fans know me, but Eric the Aviator, where he teaches, seems to always be breezy. And like every time I see him take off in a YouTube video,

it's just like two steps and it's flying. How quick is the ascent? Like, is it a... If you are getting off the ground and me and Kyle in that ferocity are just like grabbing at your legs, like, take us with you or at least you die too. And we're grabbing at you. I would imagine you could get eight feet up. Are we easily able to grab you?

You can get eight feet up probably easily able to grab you uh you can get eight feet up probably in the space of like 20 feet like you really need to be in the right spot also it goes a little quicker than people run you know like i think you're my travel speed is something like 25 miles an hour so assuming that i've launched you would need to be in front of me unless you can run faster than that, but I can't. We'd shoot you down. Yeah, we could shoot you down, though. Yes, yeah.

Well, you would absolutely be able to do that. You could be nice and shoot the motor. I would really appreciate that. Well, I'm going to need that motor. I'm going to need that motor while you pull your body out of the wreckage well if you think I'm landing well after I'm shot you know if you think I'm flying well after I've shot you down

I mean it's gonna get it's a rough it's a rough journey you know the prop is gonna we're gonna make a fucking airboat or something and escape like a sensible human the prop is destroyed upon my impact that's what I'm headed my landing gear are my

legs. And if they go out, the whole flying contraption goes to hell. That's like a big... So, I'm reading these books and stuff, right? And they're always talking about... So there's a seat. I hope these have been around long enough for people to write books on. There's a seat that you sit on when you fly. And there are

leg straps that hold you in. A lot like safety harnesses and stuff and um they're always like you know before you land you know bang your feet together make sure you're not sitting in the straps because if your landing gear goes numb you don't want to figure that out like as you need it yeah like your landing gear wait he's talking about my legs yeah yeah that makes a lot of sense as you said that long shit yeah absolutely I missed like Taylor said you ever stand up really quickly after even older yeah for what I'm in your legs just sir there's no blood yeah they're

like 1 8th normal strength yeah oh like a man grasp out yeah you can to oh like a like a little man grasp out of the counter yeah you can't they're unsatisfactory landing gear at that point oh that would suck you didn't kick face yeah it's really only a problem for people who don't get in the seat uh like like if you're i guess brand new pilots sometimes they're just like well you know what'm going to do it this way, hanging by my leg straps. In the entire era of aviation, not once has landing gear been made similar to human legs. And I think that's indicative of human legs being poor landing gear. For borderline bootleg Chinese flying machines, you're just running around meadows hoping for the best.

Oh my god, I can't wait to see it. I can hardly even picture a plane with human legs landing here. Like, that's never been something anyone... There's like the boat kind with the, you know, the skids. There's the wheel kind. Perhaps even some sort of sliding metal kind, but never

running feet. When the 747s are coming in, it's just 600 kenyan legs on the bottom kind of slow it down oh i can't yeah i'm with taylor i'm really looking forward to seeing you take flight that's gonna be that's gonna be great man i just dude that one of the issues i have so when i go out and practice, it is exhausting. Like, oh my god, you'd think, it's called kiting, right? And basically you launch it up, you hold it for a while, and even that's more tiring than you might guess.

But what you need to do is turn around and start sprinting into the wind with a 26 meter kite on your back. And dude, it's like 92 degrees out and i get like six or eight of those in and i'm i feel like laying on the grass and asking someone to pour water on me like i'm a wreck and uh i i'm like man if this is what this sport is like, this sport is shit. Like, this is just awful. So I'm hoping that the reality is I just do that once and fly away. And people get cold.

They're like, yeah, yeah, it's 90 in there. But if you go up 1,000 feet, like you want gloves, I would like that problem. How high? I wonder what. The sky is the limit with that thing. That is the point, I guess. So how high do they go? I think in the U. Sky is the limit with that thing. That is the point, I guess. So how high do they go? I think in the U.S. the limit's 10 grand.

I just linked a crash compilation. Oh, my God. I've seen so many. So here, Taylor linked a paramotor crash compilation, right, where all these guys crash on YouTube. At first, I just looked the other way. I was like, let's pretend this never happens. now i've started studying them for what they do wrong like where that's smart where they made their mistakes like i saw a guy just recently handled the oscillations backwards like i'm i'm

i i don't know i'm not pretending my instincts are right where you get sucked in but i can usually uh like see what their problem was this guy went down in the water luckily it's waist deep i would not be surprised you know at the end of dawn of the dead in the new one where they're like strapping rebar and stuff onto that uh like you know parking on the spot bus from airports and they're like getting ready to drive through like a bulldozer like it looks really good for something that a bunch of substitute teachers slapped together in a mall purportedly and in that movie it would not have been surprising to see the last guy and lady alive to stand up on the top of that bus and fly away with something akin to this yeah that they

just made man it's it's watching these people crash is really eye-opening i i'm and that's a thing dude like so nervous for you i have in my head like oh yeah but there's parachutes on their back whatever like these people are falling from like 30 and 50 feet in the air that guy's in the tree he's in that tree now he's probably not hurt though right probably not but he's in that tree how's he getting down i'm gonna keep my phone on me how much does the kite cost like just the kite um the wing whatever the i'll let it go the say 2500 to four grand and that's not the motor the motor would be like six to okay so I was just wondering because this guy clearly ruined his kite when he hit that tree and you know durable than you think

that they're rarely damaged yeah trees I don't know it seems to be like a tree would bust it up to right like it was one of those like pines that's like kind of half dead and look real pokey with lots of stabby-type short stobs, and he hit it full on. I'm trying to watch this and see at what point. You know when you're watching a person fall in a plane or a helicopter, there's a point where they were doing fine, and then there's like, oh shit, fuck, it's going wrong. I can't pinpoint a time with this where it starts going wrong

because it never looks like it was going right It's just an unnatural thing to begin with so there will be a time when I want to upgrade from my wing Which is considered like beginner slash intermediate to something more acrobatic like alright. I'm more talented now It's time for me to get a better wing. So let's say hypothetically, I do this for like six or eight months, and then I crash into a tree. Is that the point where I upgrade wings? Or is that the – like, do you see what I'm saying? That's the point where you sell what you have left

and count your lucky blessings that you didn't die during the crash. Yes. I mean, that's when you start taking helicopter lessons and get yourself a real flying machine. I mean, you could... I think you could get at least a real nice Cessna for probably 30 grand

and you won't die. I'm real worried you're going to get sucked into the clouds. I'm more worried about the ground. Because this... Well, that's what comes after the cloud. If you're not in this video, and just search paramotor crash compilation,

this guy falls and it looks like a death level fall. This guy could have died. When Taylor said he was more worried about the ground, I misinterpreted it and thought he was worried that I would somehow damage the ground. My concern is you'll leave a scar in someone's yard. Yeah, I think that guy might have died. Really, at 335?

Yeah. At 331. I'm going to say it drops at least 100 feet. At least 100. If not more. 120 feet, at least 100 feet. At least 100. If not more. 120 feet at least. Tree top. High, high tree top.

Even more. He's not just falling. He's swinging. So he's got a lot of speed. A lot more speed than you would have from just a fall. Are these guys getting a lot of infamy? Who's the Amelia Earhart of the paramotor community who just went off

into the Pacific, never to return? We actually saw him run out of gas, you know? A few hundred yards out there, but didn't want to ruin the story. Barry Ann just runs into a crowd with his. Yeah, he does. How humiliating. The guy on the beach, maybe?

Yeah. Well, I really do wish you the best for this thing but it does scare me um it is i would do it though i would i would i would totally do it um like if it were free i i it's it's awfully expensive but i think it's gonna be a lot of fun once you get going and you're able to fly out of your yard um it's like motorcycle riding i'm told in that like there's kind of this beginning period in which people take their lumps if they're gonna take them you know like once you've done this for a hundred hours you're infinitely better than someone who hasn't like there's this huge sort of like danger area at the beginning yeah Yeah, like Company of Heroes. Okay. I have only yet begun

to enter the danger zone. Start practicing your micro. You can't go. What is the propeller made of? Is it sharp? If that thing was hitting you at a decent speed, what kind of damage would that do? Because it looks like when these guys fall,

most of the time, these little capsule things around the blades are breaking off, and it looks like the blade can just immediately start hacking into their... I think the blade breaks quickly. Mine's fiberglass. They're made of fiberglass or wood. Fiberglass.. And they quickly just snap off and they stop as soon as they hit the dirt.

Well, that's good. Oh, there's a whole other compilation on autoplay after this. I'm watching Bloopers' Funniest Paramotors Videos. And I'm about to link you to a timestamp where this guy is on one of those that looks like a tricycle and things go awry.

It doesn't look like he got hurt. It was more of like a, oh, did you see that shit? That was awful. Let's see what this guy's got. He's like up, up, and away. It seems like if the winds are really rough and choppy on the ground... Oh, he hit another... Oh, no!

He hit somebody else's rig there. Yeah. Why is nobody else... Fucked it up, too. Like, that wasn't... It's not like, oh, yeah, just put it back up. Like, he hit it hard with that thing. I bet it's...

Yeah, I bet the cage is broken. Yeah, Jesus Christ. Well, these people should be keeping an eye on their flying machines a little better don't just think I just nailed the tree hit the trees no he's fine that was like a that was more of a bush than a tree honestly like I said what a rope is that the Golden Gate Bridge behind him are you serious I mean I a little harder, it's shaped like it. I'll grant him that.

You mean that rust-covered one with a bunch of people under it? I just watched you get a small window. Ah, the natural landscape of San Francisco. See, look how quickly that guy goes up. I don't know if you guys are where I am around 202. Yeah. See, what's going wrong here? This looks like it. Oh, there you go ass plants on his motor it looks it's almost like he just

made a mistake into you know half of his student debt fell right onto his twelve thousand dollar this guy this guy's running at a crowd of sheep or something and it doesn't look like he has a motor and it's just getting drugged. That guy's not paramotoring. He's just downhill running. I think there's sheep in the... There's sheep in it! The sheep are in it!

The sheep are dragging it! Those are cows. Those are cows. Those are cows. Oh, yeah, they are. Oh, God, that was a real problem. I mean, he's in real trouble if he's getting dragged behind two cattle and they're in a herd right now. He could legitimately die.

And he didn't have a motor. He just had, like, a parachute on his back, and the parachute somehow gets looped around the cows, and they drag him away. Yeah, they needed to play play like that uh intro to jackass song right as he started running where it's like bear near near well it's sort of paragliding i guess yeah well we can't afford it yet so just run down the hill and see what you can do like oh wow oh, this poor guy. I feel like this guy, too. Yeah, he looks very uncoordinated.

Those you can't. There's a cap. I don't know how to better say it, but they're easier in low wins and harder in high wins. You see that? The guy just goes upside on his back. Wow. He's kiting it really well, though.

I wish I could keep my wing up as well as that guy can when he's already fucked up. Look at his perfect. Yeah. Wow. Paramotor talk. Paramotor. We're going to see Woody fly soon, hopefully landing as well. Wow, man. The more I look at it, the scarier

it looks. I still would do it. I totally would. I just don't think I would want to... I know I wouldn't put the time into it that it requires, because it seems like if you just go and try to do this, you'd kill yourself, maybe. You've already got way too many miles with Delta or whoever anyway to start spending things here. No rewards programs for your helicopter.

Why isn't this guy like... I'm a medallion member. Did he just avoid launch? I'm platinum level. I don't understand why that guy didn't start to fly. Is his wing too small? Is he doing it downwind? He's going quickly. I'm not watching anymore.

This guy just keeps running and he's not getting any altitude. To be honest, I wanted people to be getting hurt more and it seemed like it was kind of high jinks. Yeah the first video had quite a few people getting serious this man's not athletic enough to be in the air what are you thinking? That must be the one I just watched. Did he just keep running like through the picnics and shit? Yeah. No this one this guy just ran bounced it off of the back of a fence barely cleared it and then oh what a what a goober oh my god oh okay well

hopefully your trainer is is a real legit guy he is if he wasn't so legit i'd be flying already you know he's like yeah you need to practice this more do that more you've been kiting at home like yes but there's only so much you can do at home have your neighbors seen you kiting yet they haven't made mention of it or anything i was watching your grass cutting video and you said something like your neighbors think you're crazy because you're all out there on those lawnmowers with that drone flying around yeah i uh that is a that was the first time i'd seen the whole estate with the lawn and everything that is a beautiful home it really is like that is so nice i was telling kyle just last night i'm like there is going to be a when woody and his family move out of that house, eventually old age, dying,

whatever, there is going to be a mass suicide cult there eventually, because it is too perfect of a layout for some sort of maniacal cult leader to move in. And he has your guest house for, you know, the guys who are maybe given up, given too much trouble.

You know, I just, it, it comes off as that kind of place, like that level of Well, I tried to start a cult and Chiz left. I was like, ah. He did not drink Kool-Aid.

No, he wasn't down. Oh, for one. Yeah. The sunshine carpet cleaners. Kyle? Is that an Ollie Sonny reference? I've been throwing really discreet Seinfeld references.

Yeah, that's a Seinfeld reference. Mr. Wilhelm ended up getting taken in by them. They didn't want George, though. Didn't want him. He was like, you know, he's trying to come on to them after a while. He's ordering carpet cleaning and stuff. They don't want him. So it makes sense. Basically, in the episode,

you get really cheap carpet cleaning from the sunshine carpet cleaners but the catch is that they try and conscript you into a cult and george hires them because they're cheap and is saying i don't want to get bothered by him and they give him the bill it's like 20 bucks for your carpet and he's like all right and anything else you need to ask me use us again thanks and he's like i've just been you know looking for answers anything i can you know i feel so needed information i need guidance and they're like well we hope you find it and then it's because he's he's a bad person i guess yeah they don't want him george when the bald woman turned him down. He's just like, he's just a terrible person. A bald woman!

We um, like at work we all wondered for, George had this thing where if you always seemed upset that people would assume that you were really giving like 110% and stressed out and he's like, God, God! You know so anytime like the boss walked by his desk, he'd just be like... And we're like... We really were talking like, would that work? Can we do that? I used to do that.

If you always look... If I sit there and I'm at work and I'm looking just kind of like... Just like there's a real problem, but really I'm thinking about what I want for lunch. People will walk by and be like, oh man, I shouldn't bother Taylor right now. He's really got a lot on his plate. But really,

I have nothing on my plate and that's the current conquest. Anyway. Well, it's been an hour. Yeah, I think that's true. For the last five minutes, I had the wrong overlay up. Well, I'm sure no one will say anything.

No, they won't. They don't tend to. They're like an easy-to-please bunch. Dude, before we wrap the show, I've been watching other vloggers. Kind of just to see what other vloggers do. If I watch too many of one guy, I want to i want to be a copy of casey you know like what other people do right what do i like about this guy i like about that guy and they become a combination of my favorite things and uh like the big thing in the vlog community now is how it

ruins your life and how like they all wish they didn't do it and they're like you notice how there were like six hours i didn't do yesterday? It's because I didn't want you there. And I'm having a hard time, like, gathering sympathy for these guys. Maybe I'll change my mind later. But it's like, dude, like, this is your job. Oh, was it tough to bring your camera go-karting? You know, like, that's.

Sometimes it is, though. It is tough to bring your camera go-karting you know like that's uh sometimes it is though it is tough to bring your camera go-karting because everybody's staring at you you set up your gopro on your go-kart it is an actually difficult thing to like if kyle if every time i was hanging out with kyle i knew that kyle was going to show up with a camera and he's going to come over to me and be like oh dude taylor's so great to see you and give me like a woo Like thing and we have to like I have to like get my arm around him and you're holding it up And we're both like yeah, we're about to like that. We're gonna hit some balls at this mini golf course Yeah, and then we fucking do it like I wouldn't want to hang out with Kyle anymore Cuz I feel like I was being invited to be on the Kyle show

You know so there is a point where you have to temper it back It's different for you and that it's more your family and your shit going on, so you're not just accosting people at Wendy's. No one's met Adam yet. We've been to lunch and stuff. I just kind of don't do that part in the show, Adam being my contractor friend. I've been watching a lot of your videos.

I watched the concrete etching. I watched the cutting of the grass and all that stuff. I'm mostly interested in the paramotoring stuff, though. I'm worried that other people aren't. Because I found it kind of boring. No, that's the number one. People are most interested in you flying around. Really?

How could they not be? That's ten tiers above mowing the grass. No, no, no. Mowing the grass is really their their passion in your head i know that's your passion the flying people like that more than the grass cutting i guarantee it guarantee it uh yeah it has a it has more potential the i mean all that can happen is the grass grows back not tomorrow tomorrow's vlog is just around the house stuff but the next two

vlogs in a row will be at flight school i don't know what else to call it southern skies that's what it's called i mean you're flying it's it's i mean it's it's not like it's junior flying yeah school for the vertically impaired when he was like you know you're going to be a pilot i'm like that's generous not a real and he's like that's more that sounds cooler and it's more true yeah no one seems to think lawn chair aviator is as funny as i do but like i just feel like pilot doesn't act like properly describe what it really is um i don't either i think airborne chitest i don't know i don't know definitely not that one yeah definitely not anything ist even like words like pianist you know rapist has ruined the ist suffix for everything

i was going to go with racist ruin the ist. I thought that's where you were going. You're right, though. The ists are just... Ist is like half a step below ophile at this point. Those are the top. Even if you're like an audiophile, where it's like, oh, I like vinyl. It's like, well, how about you just change your name?

You're an audio enthusiast. You enjoy a sound quality kind of guy, whatever. Not a file. Nobody likes files. I don't know. I'll have to put some thought. I don't know. Airman, maybe?

I feel like Airman is someone who works on a plane, not flies it. Air man. There's a difference. Superman, he's like, yeah, I'm Superman. So I felt good saying that. Superman's a difference. Superman, he's like, yeah, I'm Superman. You know, so I felt like I should say that. Superman. Hello there. I'm Superman.

No, you're Airman. Oh, Airman. I could put like an A on my chest. Yes! Airman. I was trying to think. Something pioneer. You need to be... Aeronautical pioneer. Pione pioneer of the winds winds the winds

that's not too great grand ois grin how do you work grandiose no that's what you're need that's our captain cloud pioneer that's like salt in the skies and shit that's what you're going to say in the beginning of all your vlogs now. Just like Daenerys. Where it's like, I'm Woody, Sultan of the Skies. Owner of six mowers. You know,

and all of this green. Burner of crops and chopper of wood. I need to put my face on her body. Just like, announce myself. Welcome to Woody, face on her body. Just like announce myself. Welcome to Woody, chopper of woods, owner of lawn care, flyer of skies. You should definitely write something in your grass so that you can see it from the sky.

We talked about that earlier. I talked about this. So the previous owners of this place what they would do is they'd let the grass grow tall taller than we have like thigh high they'd take a six foot mower and they just like i don't know make a scribble out there and then they'd run their go-kart in laps and they would race it for time yeah that's fun we used to do we used to do that in the field of cars um We would get like three... You could buy these cars...

My car was a Pontiac Sunfire that was maybe like 10 years old. And what's that? I had a thing for those. I never had one. It seemed like a car that was good yet somehow still in my class that I could own. Well, it was $350. The front left fender was all fucked up but it did everything it needed to do i put new fenders on it my cousin was driving a ford tempo and my dad was driving around in like a pathfinder or something and we were doing on an oval track that we made out in the field as fast as they would go and but it would quickly devolve into like bumping and rubbing and pushing the

other guy out of the road away and spinning him out and we would always have flat tires because no one always put oh not even close no on grass you just slide it you know you've got a catch to like flip and on glass on grass you just keep going it's it's a lot of fun hmm and you just floor those two-wheel drive cars i have um i had a friend who bought a not a forerunner what's the nissan version pathfinder and uh i don't know if they modified it or if it was just good but it jumped well i know they did some stuff like take the doors off and make it lighter and um like because i everyone else, like, had these trucks they modified. And I had, like, a real rock crawling buggy.

Like, my status in the community was somewhat elevated. And, or at least that little subset of it. And when they went jumping in it with me, they took it to a whole new level. Like, they wanted to be impressive. And we jumped that car so high. We could have cleared like a Volkswagen bug. Like it was, it was a big jump. People were like, I could have stood under that. We really jumped it high. I, I didn't know what I was signing up for when I jumped in it, but it landed smooth and straight. I, uh, I hit a railroad crossing one time going about 55 miles, not one time, many, many, many times

going about 55 miles an hour in an F-150 single cab. And it was just a hump. It wasn't like there was a lot of lead up to this thing. It was just flat road and then this hump. And I would hit it going so fast. And I wish I had someone after the side so I could know how far I was traveling or how high I was getting. All I know is that we were in the air for a significant amount of time and my buddy who wasn't buckled up was floating. I looked over at him and he's like up on the ceiling like this and I ruined the front end of that truck. Ruined it. We didn't jump as high as you did, I don't

think, but my grandmother, my dad's mom, there was the same sort of thing, a railroad crossing, that she was, for some reason, more than willing to hit really fast. And she had like a 1970s gigantic station wagon, right? And we would sit in the back, which, mind you, is backwards. I don't know if you know station wagons this big and this old. And she would hit it. We called it the Jersey bump. I don't know if you know station wagons this big and this old. And she would hit it. We called it the Jersey bump. I don't know if I could find it today.

But, yeah. And when she landed, sparks would fly out the back, which was the real, like, best part of it. That's hilarious. If sparks didn't fly out the back of the station wagon, it wasn't a good jump. That's great. That crossing is not too far from where I live now.

I ought to go back over there with some of my buggy. The Georgia Bump they call it. The Georgia Bump! With my car, my buggy or something. Probably my buggy. That would be cool. Or maybe an old junk car. I don't know.

I always worried that like, you know, I was gonna land and then get squirrely. Because I was really going fast. We were going 50-55 when we hit that thing. It was awful. That was a lot of fun. Awfully fun. Awfully fun, yeah. We played some Company of Heroes last time.

I'm digging that game a lot. You don't say. Yeah, I really am. I've joined a GB team. We're the Golden Geese. You're lying. I don't buy this. Of course not.

No, I wouldn't do that. What's nice about this game is that Kyle's coming to the table with all these mods and whatnot and maps that he's downloaded, and just by being there and playing them once, I get all those maps. Even when I'm not with you now, I can still go play those maps, which is

pretty sweet. And you've got a lot more on the docket, I think, because you were saying last night you've got a bunch of new ones. Yeah, yeah. They're free. You just go to that modding marketplace on there, or whatever you call it, and there's hundreds of them that people have just made. And there's tuning packs that change the game, and all kinds of stickers and decals

and crap. So yeah. Have you found a decent Japan yet? No. No good Japan. Or, we haven't tried the one that you were speaking about last time. It's an okay Japan. Yeah, I want a real Japan, like an actual in-the-game kind of balance with power. This game, from what I can tell, and I'm still a novice, is not very well balanced as far as the efficacy of all of the factions.

It seems like the United States has a significant disadvantage. A disadvantage? It seems like the United States has a significant disadvantage. Disadvantage? Against the Soviets and the Brits. And the Germans. It seems like there's a... I don't think we're playing them right because I keep... Maybe not. There are people online who think that,

but then someone always refutes that statement by showing these pie graphs, these pie charts that show the races being played and the win-loss ratio. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. That is my feeling from the game so far is that the Americans are not as good as everyone else. I do have a commander that makes

that new commander thing that I got, that mod, it makes the Americans very good. I was thinking about right now, I think we're at a stage and they like the british are definitely really fucking good because a lot of people use them but i think we are at least me you're further along in the progression than i am i'm at a stage where the british seem even better to me because i'm focusing on micro so much with the british like

half of your army is just doing shit automatically yeah and but as you like become a really good player with say like the Vermacht or something, I'm sure that you're appreciating all that extra manpower and controllable units late in the game that you're using to fuck with their entrapments or whatever they have. Maybe so, yeah. I do know this.

The Russians are terrible. They lost every game when I played. That's true. Well, you didn't... Your whole thing with Russia was to be helping... Kyle was making the arrowhead of the assault and you were just going to throw conscripts at the problem. But that doesn't work if you forget to create units.

And there's just nothing coming down the pipeline. It sounds like the British are more automated, so maybe that's what I should have been. They are, but I'm sure they're hard to play in their own way. If you put that mortar placement in the wrong spot and they come and kill it, and it's not that hard to kill if they got a lot of resources down the drain. 400 manpower. Yeah I had more success towards the last games but I'm not gonna... The more you play the better you get you know. If um it's I don't know how

many games we played now but it's I've got probably close to 100 hours I'd say of actual play time. You guys are both grown-ups but that was something i didn't figure out until i was a grown-up like when you're 17 no one has any experience so some people are just good at this and some people are not you know like baseball yeah kyle's really good at baseball and well woody's not but if woody would have practiced at baseball for the next three years and Kyle wasn't, those positions would probably reverse. And it seems obvious as I say it, but I'm like, yeah, dude, like the persistence and attitude and just putting your time in

counts for so much more than your starting level. Just ask Kyle. It's my catchphrase online. I'm always saying I'm so happy to be here and learning you know learning more about the game and how to be a better player why do i think this is not really your catchphrase and that there's no that'd be a very unketchy catchphrase it was like two sentences and it didn't articulate anything our catch if anything our catchphrase is well that was a whooping because like, that's what we say after every match.

Like, we almost always win, and it's almost always a whoopin'. And we're doing it against, like, we're not just scrub hunting anymore. We're playing people who have been playing with us long enough that they have about the same amount of experience as us. And we got into our first loss a couple nights ago against some people that were really good. But even then, we didn't get bowled over. Like, we didn't get destroyed.

We were in it for a good while. Yeah. We played the other night, and I don't know if it was two versus two or three versus three, but apparently one of the guys on the other team was, like, a legit player. Like, he plays competitively. Oh. And we play on high resources, which just gives you more money to spend on stuff.

So everybody can build more. Same game. Same game. And we play on high resources, which just gives you more money to spend on stuff. Same game. Same game. It's not like we put in some wackadoo wild cards or anything. It's almost like not having a respawn timer. You just get more stuff a little faster. Sped things up a bit. And we whooped them real good.

The guy leaves at the end and refuses to play anymore and got real angry because we had beaten him. He was upset. They were like, well, he's kind of known in the online Company of Heroes 2 community. I'm like, well, good, because I saved the gameplay. Maybe I'll help. It was... It really was a whoopin' that we gave him that game. There was not a period

in that game where they were doing okay. It was just steamrolling them the whole time. I don't know, 220 or 70 or something. Every time I've ever seen Kyle play, he got his ass kicked. That's because Kyle got put on Team Short Bus.

Where he was basically like, you guys, I'm trying to micro my units, but you're going to want to go to the bottom left of the screen and click the one that looks like a house, and then you're going to click one of the soldiers there. Which one? The one with the lines by it? No, he's going to have a hat.

He's going to look like he's ready for war. He had a wrench. You're going to click him three times. You're going to see that icon pop up three times in the queue. You're going to click the other house thing, and then you're going to load up on something there. Should I build a mortar, Kyle? There is a mix.

There is a balance there. Just build something and get it out here. For me, I didn't bring anything to the game, right? Like, okay, you start off with, like, an engineer. Then the engineer builds a building, and that building builds all the units that you'll be killing people with for the rest of the game. My opening move was to take my engineer and rush him into battle.

And I'm like, oh, i i gotta get on the flag and so from my perspective i was terrible on the other hand you know the lessons were few and far between i thought it's hard it's hard though because you know we were we're playing too yeah yeah you're busy doing something pretty much we go huge amounts of time without talking. And as long as everything is going well, we can be silent. And every once in a while, there's just a courtesy like, you doing all right? And the answer is always, yep. And every once in a while, it's like, nope, nope, it's not going well. Oh, nope, nope, it's not going well.

And then everything crumbles. But that's few and far between. We've been doing well. You know, I looked up something that I want to try where they have, like, 2v2 strategies. I guess that's, like, one of the most popular game modes amongst the public there is 2v2, and it's, like, complementary commanders.

And so, like, Kyle would be the British guy who focuses on, you know, supply drops, and I'd be the German guy who focuses on supply drops. And so we just constantly have a fuck ton of resources. That was one I was looking at. Or we have so much air support that it's just bananas. Or you're all defensive and I'm all

tanks. That's a cool game. I like it because it's almost a World War II simulator. I know it's not hyper realistic but it's quite realistic. And I'm digging that. Because, you know, I don't know. I guess some part of me wishes that I had been alive

during that generation and could have fought in that awful, awful war. But I don't even like camping in Georgia. Normandy might have been a real tall order. Maybe you should have been a pilot wandering around Bastogne in the middle of winter yeah you know but who knows how any of us

would have fared in that time maybe they don't make them like they used to but yeah cool period of time in human history if not the United States' history and the world's history very neat you can probably wrap it there yeah sure PKN episode 95 a little extra long this time history, if not the United States' history and the world's history. Very neat. You can probably wrap it there. Yeah, sure.

PKN, episode 95. A little extra long this time. I hope you guys enjoyed it.