Painkiller Already - PKN417

Episode Date: August 17, 2022

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pkn417 how you boys doing oh doing wonderful so kyle i had on my my docket maybe even tonight to watch crimes of the future because you texted that it was bizarre and weird and i thought that was like a glowing review no but it's not that you meant in a poor way so i've been meaning to see this film for a while now uh and it now was like $6 rental. $6 rental seems fair. That's what I think that should cost. $4.99 for HD. No more. I agree with you. That would feel okay.

Hey, I'm not driving to Blockbuster anymore. There it is. Brand spanking new. All these professionals came together. I hear there's nudity. I hop into this thing. $6. I'm back. I'm going to spoil this movie, but I promise you it's a garbage movie. And unless you're one of those people who really likes the creepy, weird stuff for the sake of being weird, and you're not going to be upset that there's no real story, or at least through editing they lost the story.

So here's the deal. It's the future, right? Sure. They don't say how far it's been and they do that thing where the if you can imagine um um we're like kind of zoomed in on on these couple of characters we don't get to see the broader world we don't know how like the united states take the spoilers thing down i'm sorry it's distracting me we don't see how the broader world is doing um we don't see like any technology really like we're kept in the dark

about very myopic we're just following maybe it's 30 years from now maybe it's 3 000 years from now you can't really tell but the issue is the the planet's clearly like toxic uh every environment they're in every building they're in looks ruined and filthy even though these characters are seemingly well-to-do people um they they live in these like filthy places most of the time and they they they do their business in filthy scummy places even government buildings see it looks like what they would show of the soviet union at its worst like really terrible terrible conditions and um people have stopped being able to feel pain, physical pain, and infections stopped happening. Bacterial infections stopped happening.

And one of the characters kind of remarks on this. He's like, what happened? Like, we just stopped getting infections? What is that? You know, I don't know. We're all going a little crazy these days. And so Viggo Mortensen's character is a performance artist. And he is this new kind of performance artist.

Due to all the toxins in the environment, people are growing these cancerous, tumorous organs. And Viggo Mortensen has them cut out as quickly as possible because he feels they're killing him. They're organs with no function. because he feels they're killing him. They're organs with no function. And he has these ports in his body where his partner, this hot-ass lady, can look in there with a scope and be like, oh yeah, it's a big one.

And she tattoos it while it's inside of him. And then she operates on him without anesthetic even though he can feel the pain. That's the unique thing about him. And people get to gawk at someone feeling pain while being operated on and they remove this organ with the tattoos on it and that's the show and it is like a sexual experience for both the cutter and the cutty and because like um no not in this particular scene it's performance art there's a huge it's like an old opera theater opera type thing no they don't art. There's a huge, it's like an old opera theater,

a theater opera type thing. No, they don't eat it. It's grotesque. It's about like just watching him be operated on. And he's not being operated on by hand and scalpel. There's this futuristic bio chair or bed that has these weird like hands that come up and do the operation.

Like an alien. And then the lady is operating with this weird little controller making it operate on him and there's multiple operations there's the autopsy of a naked child um there's um fuck there was so much sexual stuff with his with his like innards like there's a point where he decides to upgrade and get a zipper and so he's just got this zipper across his midsection right above his belly button that goes um horizontal across his like so it's convenient for his livelihood that infections no longer happen that's see that's the thing like when you walked in the streets there's these like sickos in the street who are like cutting each other and like getting off on that with like knives and like and um the whole thing is and and look i i'm pretty

good at reading between the lines i guess like like what they wanted us to focus on and what would have been a cool fucking movie is that they've been this like crime noir thing in the future fucking nighttime always stormy nights and stuff and trying to figure out the the mystery and the mystery is this this this got these people, this cult had been operating on themselves and giving themselves artificial organs and like mutating themselves so that they can digest plastic. This food that's literally made out of fucking plastic. And because they believe that's the next step of human evolution.

We've ruined the world. The only way we go back is if we're the solution, we've got to learn to feed on our own waste and this child whose mother kills it in the first five minutes of the movie um you watch that for quite a while um was the first born who could actually who was just born that way he could just digest plastic he's just chewing on waste baskets and shit just killed they killed the one like eco-friendly kid but yeah his mother killed him because he was fucking weird and she'd had enough of it um he you know he's eating a wastebasket his organs they're constantly regrowing he's constantly getting

new ones not like wolverine or anything but like but like every month or every three months or so he's got a cool new fucking cyst growing inside him that they chop out and tattoo up. Not in that order. And you thought it was just weird for the sake of being weird more than in pursuit of a purpose. I watched an interview with the director. I'd watched an interview with Cronenberg,

and I know he loves body humor, and he accomplished... I'll tell you what, he made me very uncomfortable because there's this scene where Kristen Stewart, Kristen Stewart's the girl from the Twilight movies, the really attractive young actress. She was in that Cthulhu-like underwater movie recently that kind of fell off the rails, but it was really good. I didn't see it promoted anywhere.

She's like endoscoping Viggo Mortensen, like looking in his belly. And she's gyrating and moaning kind of under her breath like she's masturbating. This is stupid and lame and without a plot. I feel like it's a chore

to get through. I got an hour into it and quit and I came back to it the next day so the $6 wouldn't be wasted. I watched the last 40 minutes and when it finally ended, I went, wait, no, that's it? No, no, no, no.

Where's the end? Where's the wrap-up? Yeah, and look, there is a story. I would pay $7 for just the nude scenes. Save me some time. There's some really good nude scenes in there. Is that chick, is her name

Christine Stewart? Christine Stewart is the only one who doesn't get naked. Everyone else is naked. I'm out. If this were Shark Tank, I'm leaving. This is it. I'm just pushing my chips away. Show them the chair that Viggo sits in that helps him eat his food.

It's a Crimes of the Future breakfasting chair. He sits in this breakfasting chair, and it's got all these arms and gyration things, and it's supposed to put you in the perfect position so that you can digest your food.

It's like, and it's comical. It's like some peewee circus shit. He's trying to eat, and it's comical. It's like some peewee circus shit. He's like trying to eat, and it's like jiggling him around, and he's trying to get his eyes! See how the chair is made like

a skeleton? All of the technology is, and when the technicians come to work on his chair, it's these two beautiful like 25 year old females and and they're like wait you have an x 3000 and he's like down in the basement and then the next thing they're down in the basement and these girls are looking at this guy's operating bed like they're looking at a ferrari with a dick like That's the best way I can explain it. They're looking at

a hundred mile per hour fucking quarter million dollar fuck machine. A hundred miles an hour? Are you telling me they have a Ford Focus in this place? Only that technology first of all is generous.

I just looted something like that from the Skyrim temple. So, I will say this. It was dreadful. It was an awful film. I'll never watch it again, but if you really want to see... I don't know what that actress who's his co-star is, but if you really want to see the close-up of her titties and then her getting cut up with a scalpel for

while she mulls... I don't want to see this because I love weird movies. Weird, strange movies because the whole time you're wondering how is all this going to tie in and pay off into something that's threaded and dovetails. But if it's just weird for weird,

you don't... She gets you. I can't stand it when it's weird and there's no payoff. That describes it. You've got to give me something. That very French-looking, beautiful woman means something. I need to, like, the whole time you're dropping clues,

it needs to be signs, right? Red prone. Keep them coming. At the end of it, you're like, oh, yeah, he left the glasses of water everywhere. He was the great baseball guy she has the asthma and like everything came together that's what i need from a weird movie if you're just like i bet you wondered why you've been here the end yeah yeah if the game of thrones

is you like i got i can't think of a good episode but like Sinister or whatever that's a good horror movie it's not very twisty and turny but I like at the end of those movies whether it's thrill or whatever when I'm like that's why that kid was so weird around wicker baskets because of this and it was so subtle I would have noticed it but now

I can look back with like foresight what sucks is like when it's Game of Thrones at the end and you just go oh so there was no reason for the kid to be weird around wicker baskets so they clearly were trying to get me to start thinking about the implication of something

as a red herring they're throwing red herrings every fucking where all the time and it's almost like they're doing it so in the future that they can be in a writers meeting and they can have their all the red herrings up on the table and be like hey maybe we could do anything there's something with uh that one lady with the with the with the curtain of beads on her face remember her yeah remember she was on screen for four seconds what about john's dog you know it's 650k for a second nah that would have been a good end to

that character with the beads. Like, this will be the last time you ever hear or see from me again. Like, that's... It's like that person in Skyrim who sends you on a quest 15 minutes into the game and then 20 hours of daytime later you come back with his rabbit

foot and he's like, that was quick! Like, that was quick! That was bullshit. Oh, kyle you mentioned a couple weeks ago the belly button cleanliness thing with the the q-tip and i was hoping to get like something out of it but i sincerely i went in there i got the q-tip i got it all wet with the soap like i normally do went in there there's nothing I dug in my belly button I genuinely expected you to have a filthy one too

I thought so I thought I might have some crumbsies in there but I did not there was nothing to dig out I got my finger in there I got my q-tip like one bacon bit like one bacon bit crumbles in there right and you'd think nothing of it, but then

a colony of ants slowly moves in there and they're sustaining and living off that bacon. We've got to do a Colorado trip and sneak a popcorn kernel in there. Just a little green stem coming out

and blossoming. Well, they planted a watermelon seed in my belly button as a prank, and now I've got three weeks to live. Jokes on them. Free watermelon. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't. It was very clean.

Like, I didn't. There wasn't even discoloration on the Q-tip. I do always get in there with my finger with soap, rub around. I use a power drill. I've got a bristle that goes on the end of my DeWalt. You said you get some stuff in there sometimes.

I'm thinking maybe you have caverns in the folds of your belly button. Oh, perhaps. We think your obstetrician was incompetent and left you with a belly button that is the equivalent of foreskin. Oh, that. We think your obstetrician was incompetent and left you with a belly button that is the equivalent of foreskin. Oh, that sounds gross.

Just collecting cheese and things all the time. Disgusting. An Audi would be the clean one in this situation. You know what, though? I feel like a really talented obstetrician would give you a smoothie. That's what you're looking for. You're looking for...

Make it look like nothing was ever there. Like Kyle XY. Kyle XY. That retarded WB show from so long ago. Yeah. Well, I just wanted to keep you abreast on my belly button cleanliness. It's good to know.

It's good to know. Keep me updated. I think you need to get one of those cupping apparatuses where you have the candle under there and it slowly sucks your belly button. Taylor, you could probably just use the penis pump you already have. So when they do it with an asshole,

I think it's called like a cherry blossom or something. Rosebud. It's called a rosebud. So we're going to do that here. Now that is the only way to be sure that your belly button is 100% clean. You got to turn that baby inside out. No. Rosebud.

It's a two-man job. It's such a gentle little thing. No, it's going to be all red, all irritated. It's going to be Mount Vesuvius under there. Just a red dome. The air compressor up. Yeah. We'll get it taken care of.

Well, I have been getting a, I wanted to ask about your skin routine. So I love boiling hot showers and I know that's not good. I know you're not supposed to do that because it dries your skin out and I've been getting dry skin recently. What do I do, Kyle?

What product do I get? Put on lotion. Just regular hand lotion on my face? Well, no. There's lotions for different parts of your body. You want to get a facial lotion. The facial lotion I use is called Jack Black. No relation to the comedian.

I think he makes cosmetics or some shit. Jack Black does. It's for black people that masturbate. Yeah, it is. It burns if you use it on your penis, though, I promise. Really? Jack Black sounds like it's designed for that. It comes with SPF 15, so you're always wearing sunscreen now.

But you put six or seven pumps of that stuff on your face every day. Get your neck, too. Get the back of it. It's what the sun hits you. Keep that cancer away. And at the same time, it moisturizes your face. It's non-scented. It's what the sun hits you. Keep that cancer away. At the same time, it moisturizes your face. It's non-scented. It's non-tinted. It is a little expensive.

I do like non-scented, though. Oh, yeah. That's a little one. No, that's the price per ounce. They're listing the price per ounce. Well, that other one's a terrible deal. Oh, no. that seems like... Oh, that's weird.

I just... Oh, that's the wrong kind. That's body lotion. Yeah, so that's body lotion. I don't use their body lotion. That seems expensive for body lotion. Find their facial stuff. I'll look up their facial lotion.

But, Woody, you got your results? I did. Oh, shit. Yeah, so cancer. It's that basal cell carcinoma. Carcinoma. Right. Kyle had.

Yeah. So, I think I talked about the surgeon I was getting, right? Did I go into that before? The Moore's surgery or Moe's surgery? Moe's, I think. So, I guess there's a lot. Maybe you said it in private. I don't remember if you said it on the show.

In short, I went there saying there saying hey can i get a referral to a plastic surgeon right because it's on my face it's right where the it's here um you know you don't want to get like a regular er doc digging away at your face and putting back yeah you know what he's alive i did my job yeah time me like Like, that's not the move. I remember when Taylor cut his arm, I think. I was like, hey, you're a dude and it's your arm. But had it been something you cared more about, or maybe if you were girls, girls get like a scar on their thigh

and all of a sudden it impacts their sense of self-worth. Get plastics, right? Get plastics to sew this thing back. Not just their sense of self-worth. You know, get plastics to sew you back up. Like, just get it done right. And a lot of people will just take the first doctor that's willing to do it and you get some fucking intern in the er trying it and that's not what you're looking for so anyway taking my own advice this is mo's surgery and what it is it's a level more delicate than plastics They specialize in removing cancer from faces and putting it back

together in the most like attractive way possible. And normally when you remove cancer, you have to like take margins and you remove more than you have to, to make sure that there's only skin. These guys have a biopsy lab right there. So they scrape off like half a millimeter, look at it under the microscope. If there's more to they do it again as soon as they get a clean thing they don't have to leave like a three millimeter margin they can just biopsy it fucking right next to the operating table and stop as soon as possible rather than big clean margins it looks really small on your eye on your nose it does right now here could you full screen me zach maybe i just can't see it it's here yeah and right now it looks pretty good because like there's no scab on it after

every shower i put vaseline on it and that's the best it can look it looked a little worse a week or two ago like you guys don't see it on the show because i wear glasses but when i don't it's like what's the fucking thing on your nose and why has it been there for six months now so it was just all it just wouldn't close always exactly yeah even when you weren't wearing glasses it was opening just right the first time it ever happened I slept in glasses and I woke up and I had this cut on my nose so I was like well there's the cause and effect right you know I'll just give it a little time to heal and it's not healing not healing not healing so I concluded falsely um I, well, what happens is I have to wear glasses every now and then. And I had just started wearing like daily glasses and I wasn't letting it get better.

So I need to live without glasses for a while. So just stop irritating this thing on my nose, which I did for weeks and months. It still didn't heal. So I went to a dermatologist. I mentioned on the show like months ago, and they're like, this might be cancer. We should get a biopsy. You should go to a plastic surgeon, have it cut out,

and then they'll biopsy it and we'll know after the fact, but you'll already be cured. So that had been my plan before I knew about Mohs. And anyway, I took that information, sat on it, and did nothing because I thought it was healing. Right now, it looks pretty good. If I hadn't had biopsy results, I'd be like, well, maybe it's not cancer.

If it's healing on its own, then it's not. Really, it looks bad when there's a scab on it, and it looks good when I've vas Vaseline it with no scab. So, uh, but we have biopsy results. It's not a guess anymore. It's cancer.

And, uh, I want to say September 12th. So if that's not it, that's really close. Oh, lucky day. Yeah.

Nothing bad ever happens. A day before that. Or are you thinking of September 11th? I was thinking, I'm just thinking, you know, Nothing bad ever happens a day before that. Or are you thinking of September 11th? I was thinking, I've been watching a lot of South Park. Butter's birthday is September 11th. It's just another horrific thing about that character. The first day they gave me was the 8th.

I'm like, I've got the show. I don't really want to have surgery. And it's like the show a few hours later. What a great joke so you get a little uh local anesthetic i'm gonna they're gonna go in huh i think so my imagination is it's a local anesthetic and then like a scraping and they they scrape it biopsy it scrape it biopsy it until they get no no cancer in it on? Yeah, that was how they took the biopsy. I just kind of inferred that they keep going.

Oh, yeah. Like a circular blade, they just sort of remove a little bit and carve it out. That was one of the options that I had. My concern with that is they said they could come back and we would just have to do this all over again in

a short period of time. They're like, yeah, we can take the meat slicer up there and take it down shave it off but you know that comes back in six months we just got to go right back yeah i don't know they convinced me that like having the biopsy people right there they get better results than the margin people do i don't know you're probably it mean, the area of your mind was a little different too. Yeah, because yours was on an eyelid, they could just take a nice triangle, put it back together, and you look great. If it's on the bridge of your nose,

you can't easily just dig three millimeters into your cartilage nose bone. Yeah. I just realized you were making me uncomfortable talking about my own eye surgery a thing that i had happened you were there i was i was like oh stop talking about that i don't like thinking about it that was awful but i can conceptualize taking a triangle out of an eyelid putting it back together and being fine you know it sucks to recover from except for the

badass eye patch but But the bridge of your nose, you're going to have an asymmetrical dent if they take too much. You don't want that. It'd be like you'd have to wear glasses from here on out. I might be in that spot anyway, but that is a good point. One with a

pad that fits in the hole. I told you the other day that i was gonna give daisy a try and i have and it's just not a good game it's just not a game like the the real problem is it's you're always if you start a new character if you just hop in you're you got so much time between now and when the fun starts. If the three of us were to jump on DayZ right now, first of all, it would probably take a good

20 minutes to get it downloaded and everybody to figure out their buttons and map their controls. Make that 30. And then 30 minutes from now, we would start playing the game. And then 30 minutes from then, we might find each other. And then 30 minutes from then, an hour and a half into this then 30 minutes from then an hour and a half

into this journey we would be an hour and a half in and someone would be so starving that they would die or they would or some or some bully would have come along and then like done something real mean to us like in that game you can be like stick him up and like if you don't have a gun you better fucking stick him up because he's got a fucking gun yeah i don't know if he's got any bullets or not though who knows and he'll have his buddy come over and tie your hands up and now you're tied up and if he ties your hands up with wire taylor you're but what he can't untie me because he they tied me up with wire what if they used handcuffs even and they leave with the fucking key they put a bag on your head and figure why you're on the ground and you're just laying on

the ground now and they you know what i wouldn't allow that to happen before i allowed or something to oh you wouldn't allow it to happen you have you wouldn't you know what i would do when they i would you and i turn it off that that's how i would stop that they'd be like stick them up i'd be like i'm not playing your little fantasy and i'd say some non-youtube gamer words and then i log in 90 minutes finding a pocket knife and a bucket you can't quit now my claws it's fucking awful and look what they if you don't comply they'll hit you in the head with a shovel or something and you go unconscious in this game.

And you wake up, and you're tied up. You're just tied up. I mean, you're not selling me. No, look, I'm sure there's a lot of people who have found a way to make that game fun, and I bet it's fun with your friends when you all know what to do. That was the first really popular big, what is it called? Wasn't that huge? It's a mod is what it is.

It was one of those games that's never going to be completely out. It's a mod from Arma, if I remember correctly. Arma 3 was the original game, and they put this mod on it. And I thought they did release it completely, but I'm not sure. It's standalone, but it's still like a beta game. I didn't know that. It's not a finished thing. It has to be because they're always improving on it, right?

Yeah. I mean, this has bases and stuff. That says Armor 2 is the base for it. Maybe I'm wrong. I thought it was Armor 3 as well. It doesn't matter though. It's the same concept, but I just can't have fun with that game. I'm looking for a game to play. I really want to play something. Magic the Gathering Arena

or... Get out of here. Get out of here. skyrim i wanted to uh oh i actually wanted to ask you this because i know you've modded the shit out of skyrim before oh yeah i've wanted to add some mods and mess around with it but like i'm not really looking for goofy silly mods like to put on there. What I really want are just more missions, more shit to do. Except I want it to feel like the game. You talk to someone and they're like, I need to do this to defeat the werewolves of whatever keep. That's the sort of mod I want.

And you're going to play on PC, right? Have you used any mod managers before? My character I want to use is on Xbox. Oh. On Xbox One. They do have mods. Well, I have no idea. They got mods there.

Good luck with that. I don't know what console mods are like. Well, then I'll have to just... I'll find a way to transfer them to PC. Well, the thing is, they're going to be tremendously easier because you're going to be like... It's going to have... It's going through Microsoft.

So it's going to be like, do you want this mod? It does X, Y, and Z. And you're going to be like, yeah. And you're going to click A and it's going to fuckingrosoft so it's gonna be like do you want this mod it does x y and z and you'll be like yeah and you're gonna click a and it's gonna fucking download it and apply it whereas on the pc side you've got to use a mod manager at least one when i download when i mod fallout i'll have like three mod managers total one just for the body of the character and with sliders and stuff and as far as adding new missions like you can do anything and everything there are tons there's so many uh they do voice acting i don't know how they finance this stuff really just people who i guess want to get into game development and as like something for their

portfolio i guess maybe they're just making mods for fallout for free because there will be voice acted like like like like fully done levels added on and in fallout it's really easy to add a new level i guess in in skyrim it is too you make it a cave and fallout you make it a vault and it's just like you walk up to a door and it's like boom now we got a new world and and they do a really good job at that but there's lots of good mods on the pc for doing stuff like just making the grass require less ram or less gpu power like just making the game run less RAM or less GPU power, like just making the game run perfectly. I should do it on PC.

If I'm going to do it, I should go whole hog into it. But like when I was looking up all the mods and everything a couple nights ago, all the ones people talk about are like, oh, the no gravity and the, you know, everybody's now naked and now there's a snowman that runs around. And it's like,'t want any of this i still want to feel like i'm playing skyrim i just when you're running quests i want there to be more shit to do that's not the night mother going sending you another assassin yeah you want immersive mods you want mods that don't break the lore and there's a whole category of those that's perfect i didn't know the way to get started there was a youtube video like everything else like there are guys who are

so passionate about that community. They're just like, oh, so you wanted to become a Skyrim modder. Well, let's start downloading. There's a link in the description of eight different things to download. You can just go ahead and get those kicked off, get them rolling through. It's pretty simple to do

and it's a lot of fun. Most people end up spending four 4-6 hours that first day just adding mods before they even play the game and when you finally get to play it, it's really fun I like to add weapons I like to add weapons from other universes like He-Man's sword or some shit

see that would be fun too I would need to add stuff like I wouldn't want a gun in Skyrim I would want it to fit the bow and arrow sword kind of lore. Oh, and there's balance mods. So you know how a lot of times in Skyrim, you end up defaulting back to the stealth archer character because that's so effective at dealing with enemies

who are kind of out of your skill level. So everybody's like, oh, but I can kill him if I just stealth archer. But it kind of ruins anybody ever being a sword and shield guy there's mods to fix that you know there's mods that like balance everything out and fallout i don't remember what it's called but it's called like whoever made the mod like like james butley's fix it all mod yeah and it's like this fixes every known bug in fall. It's like eight gigs. How much of Fallout is left after Mr. Butley is done with it? Not much.

Not much. He fixes every bug, every crash symptom. I would love that. I love Skyrim. I dread every time in a new character going to Riften and talking to that dude who's like, I want you to pickpocket this guy and then plant the ring on this other guy and then come talk to me. And then you do it, and then you go over to him and he's like, you'll have to act quickly.

Not much time. It's like, I just did it! Just take what I'm trying to give you! It's still not fixed? Are they not repairing Skyrim? They just left this bug? On PC, it's fixed. There's a mod, I guarantee, that's called Riften Ring Switcheroo Fix, and it's just like, it's fixed. There's a mod, I guarantee, that's called Rift and Ring Switcheroo Fix. And it's just like, boom, fixed.

And if that doesn't work, there's a mod that allows you to go like tilde, force slash mission slash complete. And it's just like, mission completed. There'll be something like that. We're on PC. You want it done, it gets done. In fairness, the one I've played on xbox one has no glitches in comparison to what the one i played on the 360 in college like

the 360 college one like there were times where i'd have to be like all right well i have to go back to a save 10 levels ago because i can't complete this story because this person was killed by a dragon it's like return the keys of Amalok to Ted the Bountiful. And then you go back and Ted is being ass-blasted by a dragon. You're like, no, no, don't kill Ted! And then they kill Ted and you have to go back.

Oh, one thing though, mods make the game a lot more difficult for your PC to run. That's pretty weird. So you definitely won't be able to go overboard. Have you played Skyrim on PC before? No. You might want to see if your PC can run Skyrim.

I know that's a joke. Everything can run Skyrim, just like everything can run Doom, but what's it going to look like? Do you want to play in 30 FPS? No. No, I do not. I want it to look nice. It looks great on the Xbox. That's where I'm stuck on that. Can't everything run Skyrim? Is there really an issue?

He wants to look nice and he wants to mod it. I remember the last time I tried to make Skyrim look nice, modded in 1440p and it being 30 frames per second. When I'd go into a big part of the world, it'd be 3 frames per second. That's the last time I tried.

I don't know if it's since I got the 2080 Ti tried it i don't know if it's since i got the 2080 ti or or oh i don't know if it's if you have in my head you're talking about six-year-old hardware but i could be wrong i might be making that up i mean it's it it's getting there but a 2080 ti is like five-year-old hardware now or something i think um it's almost time for a like a 3090Ti is out. You can get one for $1,200. You've been able to get one for about a month and a half or so for

$1,200. I'm thinking about building a PC. It looks like there's a considerable savings all of a sudden to build your own PC. When I add it up on PartsPicker, I'm at $3,200. and when I added up on any of the the companies it's like 4200 like a thousand more and I got to wait 10 days and it's not hard to put a PC together so I may just build a new PC and get that new i9 processor what is the 12 something k and I'm at a date on the processors, but is Intel the bomb again?

I thought the bomb I'm in the nineties. So get a Pentium pro. Cause it used to be all about AMD. I think mine's an AMD at the time. It was a clear leader. Yeah. I haven't done my research, but I heard someone say that Parkov had an issue with AMD sometimes,

or maybe one specific AMD CPU. And I just didn't want to take a chance. And I do the same thing. Like whenever I'm right, right now I'm thinking of it as like a Tarkov machine, but it's really just a mission, but that's just a real hard game to run. That's CPU dependent.

And I just know that landmark has that CPU. So like, it seems like, Oh, you'd think that he had done his research and like spared no expense you know that too like it sometimes it's hard to take other people's advice because they get way too hung up on expense you know and i get it right to whatever it is like 3200 versus 3400 means different things to different people but to me i'm like

i feel dumb if i didn't, if I, if like a year, three years from now, if I'm like, should have spent that extra $200 three years ago, huh? Yeah. Dumb ass.

Sometimes I look at motorcycle reviews and there's a motorcycle. I'm making up numbers, but one for 7,800 and one for 8,300. And they're like, I don't know how this $8,300 bike is going to compete with this $7,800 bike. And I'm like, I don't know if they're $ i don't know how this 8300 bike is going to compete with this 7800 bike and i'm like i don't know if they're 500 from each other get the one you want like don't go bonkers over that yeah 500 like in a vehicle like you did a good job scaling it like that because pcs cost about 4 000 bikes cost about 8 000 it's it's it's that's how that's how it goes if you can't afford an 8300 bike you can't afford an $8,300 bike, you can't

afford a $7,600 bike. Yeah, these are toys we're talking about to begin with. If we're talking about your workstation at work, that's a different conversation. But we're talking about a Tarkov machine. And in Woody's case, we're talking about a leg breaking machine, okay? These are toys. Your legs don't break themselves. No, they don't.

You gotta hit it hard, Evel Knievel. Yeah, yeah exactly you can't get a lightweight bike the thing might not break at all i got a cowboy up so i'm looking at a new motorcycle i'm looking at um again i'm pretty deep into looking at it i've got new motorcycle fever so i don't have room for multiple bikes um i've already got like like the gym take i got i got mine right in there with the gym so which i like by the way i like that like i'm working out in the bikes right there because i've considered motorcycles like works of art i want it in the living room i want it in my i really do because i've seen i've

seen that before like in one form or another, like a vehicle in someone's living room. Nicer living rooms than mine, to be fully honest. But nonetheless, the concept remains. I think that a vehicle in the house looks nice. Especially that shiny red chromed out motorcycle of mine. I have wanted a motorcycle that I don't even want to ride that much. I saw on Craigslist in my area a 1973 Shovelhead Harley-Davidson. I don't know my Harley-Davidson lore enough to be like what the pros and cons of the Shovelheads were 49 years ago. Show me a 73 Shovelhead, Zach.

Yeah, yeah. If you could pull one up. But this particular bike is cool looking. It's an old Harley. It looks like it just rolled off the showroom floor. It's perfect. Mine didn't look like that one much at all. You didn't get a Cafe Racer conversion on that thing.

Just stretch out. That looks awful, by the way. If it's still on Craigslist, I'll be able to find it in a second. That's what I mentioned, Cafe Racers, because those kind of bikes appeal to me a lot. It's not there. I don't think they look comfortable for anything long, I mentioned cafe racers because those kind of bikes appeal to me a lot. Um, because like, it's not there. I don't think they,

they don't look comfortable for, for anything long, but I don't ride far. I think I would kind of like it to cruise. Go ahead. To talk about the work of art thing. This 49 year old Harley Davidson to me is a bike that you ride a little, but you're still happy.

You bought right. Like it, like if you never rode your bike, you might feel like, ah, it was a purchase that didn't work out um but this you know it's like a show car you maybe your father has cars that are a hundred years old and he doesn't ride them all the time but he doesn't mean he hates them he's happy to have them like he enjoys them maybe i'm off target his buddy's

got a john deere collection that will be in a museum someday like a day will come when john deere's like wait you've got this yeah we got them all yeah i i and it's pretty far down my list like all the bikes i have now i like to ride um but i can definitely see a case for a bike that isn't the one you reach for. It's not the best at any particular mission, except looking good in your living room. Yeah. Or whatever. I will,

I'll trade my bike when I get the next bike. I'll just, I'll do that. I don't, I don't want to maintain a fleet of bikes, nor do I have the space for a fleet of bikes. Right. And nor do I ride enough for a fleet of bikes nor do i have the space for a fleet of bikes right right and nor do i ride

enough for a fleet of bikes i don't have the multi-use case either to to support a multi-bike scenario because you've got like you got bikes like like people have like different hammers you're like well yeah i need eight hammers they do eight different fucking things right big one in the city that's not a city bike this is a city bike that's the highway bike to everybody else they're like a hammer is what you want things with and then to you you're like look sometimes i do masonry sometimes i do do jewelry making sometimes i do a little geology i sometimes i gotta do demolition there's a little bit everything uh so so i get it but but i would like um maybe a a bike more like what I trained on originally

that's really low to the ground and like an old, loud, chugga-lugga-lugga type motorcycle. That's as far as my motorcycle knowledge goes in describing the kind of bike that I'm interested in. That'd be fun. Yeah. It depends on the mission for me. I think you like riding

country roads and that sounds like something that would do it well lazily in fact lazily like 60 70 miles an hour and i'm and i'm really having a good time if i have to like start focusing because stuff's coming at me fast now and now this feels like an athletic event right this is the edge of your personal cornering talent you're not in the right spot that's not why i went out on the motorcycle like a relaxing ride not a challenging ride i've never went out and been like let's push it to the limit today that's never occurred to me it's been like let's be safe out there put on my yellow flag helmet I like rev it

three times in my yard like a badass in front of my annoyed neighbor and then putter away at 15 and ice cream man I do wheelies down my driveway and it's like I wonder if my family saw honey you gotta see this deer he just ran away

there's a whole family of deer out here just oh you missed a i've been on um the youtube short thing and there's this i wish i knew his name um but there's this black guy is this good-looking black guy who seems to have some kind of a podcast or radio show i don't know what he does he's he's framing himself as a very successful person and he's he's wearing a suit and he seems to be in a nice place and he's he's giving advice to like men and women on sort of like how to live your life and uh i'm addicted to him i think his name is kevin i wish i could like here's an example um the kevin samuels could it be that i believe zach if he says that but but it's like this guy um that's one where where this woman is saying that um

this man she's like this man uh i was dating we've been together for a month he wanted to have sex and uh and he says okay well you're 30 years old. He's not a virgin. How long was it going to be? How long would you feel comfortable with? She's like, I was thinking two months. Is that what you told him? No. What'd you tell him? I told him that I had bad experiences with men in the past. Well, that's your problem. Why are you putting that on him? Now you're making your problems his. Yeah, but that's a part of me. Yeah, a part of you that he shouldn't have to deal with, that the world doesn't want to deal with,

because that's your shit. I like this guy. And then there's another one where he's like, he's talking about black men in particular. He's like, he uses the N word a little bit, but he said something like, he's like, ninja, wash your ass. And yeah, I mean, your asshole.

And he like, he literally like for. Are people not washing their asses out there? Apparently not. He's like, he's like, he's like, y'all coming in here hating on a pretty ninja like me who's got it figured out and is trying to share some of this knowledge. No, he said a pretty ninja like me who upgraded his bitch. But then

he said y'all are a bunch of stinky ninjas walking around with skid marks in your drawers. I mean, good advice. If there's a guy out there who... How naive would it have to be to not be alive? Dude, he would not be digging. Look, I fully believe it.

He tells a grown man how to wash himself for a minute in this video that I watched on the YouTube shorts. I'm just flicking through them. He's like, lather it up and then wash your balls. And I don't mean one swipe or two. Two minutes is what I'm talking about. Rub a dub dub. Soap them up. And then wash, rinse it, all the soap, and then get some more.

All right? But how do you like to brush my teeth, Kevin? I swear to God. There have got to be men out there who don't know this. Because then he explains how to wash your ass. And he explained, he's like, he said that guys are coming here saying it's gay to wash your asshole oh i've seen you're by yourself on reddit like there are people yeah having a gay man help you would be gay how many black guys like think it's gay to wash your ass because like they

shouldn't be touching their own ass like that there was a girl on reddit whose boyfriend wouldn't clean her own butt because it's gay yeah and uh she was just going on a blow job strike until he changed his mind on this and she asked for advice from the reddit community overwhelmingly they supported her oh oh oh i support her too yeah me too if you don't know how to clean your asshole i'm typically not in favor of blowjob strikes but on hers i'm on her yeah yeah how much of this video was talking about client cleaning yourself like basic cleaning well you gotta well this is a short like like they're a minute i forgot it was a short yeah they're a minute tops and i'm just devouring them they're they're so good i'm sitting here like was a short. Yeah, they're a minute tops. And I'm just devouring them. They're so good.

I'm sitting here like, an hour will go by. And I've been sitting here clicking these things. And they're not all him. It's like, I don't know why YouTube. See, there's no way for YouTube to know if I'm liking them or not. Because I don't interact with them. So it's weird to me, the patterns that are created without any user input. It's like, it's like.

There's one piece of user input. What is it? Acceptance. View time. Do you watch to the end? Yeah, because if it sucks... Excellent point. Apparently, I watch a lot of Andrew Tate to the end, and I

watch a lot of this black fellow to the end. Love him to death. Man, you guys are both getting red-pilled, and I'm falling behind. I'm going to watch Andrew Tate. love him to death. Man, you guys are both getting red-pilled and I'm falling behind. I'm going to watch this. The Andrew Tate guy is pretty hilarious. He's got some funny tags. I did hate you shorter to his. I'd like to have him on our show. He does a lot of people's shows.

I think it's part of his business strategy. He's gotten famous quickly, and I think part of the of his business strategy. He's gotten famous quickly. And I think part of the way that he does that is you invite him on your show, he comes on. Now he's met our quarter million people. He meets someone else's quarter million people and he grows. He seems like an interesting guy. I don't know very much about him.

Just from the YouTube shorts that I occasionally get of him. He does the highlights of his own podcast. And I've talked of him. He does the highlights of his own podcast. And I've talked about it before. A little bit of it is dunking on Fisher price hoops, which I typically don't like. He has these often beautiful, but uneducated women, women who I don't think made it through 10th grade and they can't make their

points eloquently at all so he lays some truth out there in quotes and they're meant to rebut it but they can't speak eloquently they can't make a point concisely so he lets them make fools of themselves for a minute and a half three minutes yeah and then afterwards is like what what did you just say or he'll counter it with some stat he has in his back pocket and he just rips these women ever hear him i don't know very much about him again but i heard in one short he was talking about how he made i don't know if it was his fortune or just a fortune or some fortune whatever but he talked about when he had five girlfriends who didn't know that he had five girlfriends and he went to i think london and he invites all five of his girlfriends out there

and they come and show up and they're like who who are these four bitches all of them do and they're like hey look well i've been dating all of you and i invited you here to uh to to get rich with me and having a have a great time uh so going to start a, a cam girl business and you, and you're going to, and already the first two left. Yeah. Like, like,

and he's like, no, no, no cam business. And you girls are going to be working it. You're going to be naked. You're going to be my host. And I'm going to be the one typing to the guys,

like flirting with them. And you're going to be getting naked for them. And then two more leave or like maybe one more. But anyway, he had like two that stayed. He's like, and then I had those two girls with me and we started. And that's how we did it one more. But anyway, he had like two that stayed. He's like, and then I had those two girls with me and we started. And that's how we did it.

And it's like he started this ridiculous cam girl business. And the funniest, I saw another short where he's talking about this girl is got a customer, a guy who pays her to get naked and stuff. But his thing isn't getting naked. He wants her to go get, he donates like a lot of money. don't know fifty dollars hundred dollars two hundred fifty dollars get gummy bears so the next night she shows up she's she's got i got the gummy bears all right get them out put them on the table all right see that red one there that's me that's all my friends please don't eat us he's like oh i'm gonna eat you please don't oh i'm gonna gobble you motherfuckers up and there's nothing you can do

about it this is your friend right here what do you think about that and he's just like please don't eat them that's a man who knows what he wants. How do you arrive there? Every one of his friends, she's eating in sequence. All these gummy friends, and he's just been pumping it the whole time. Please, please don't eat me. Leave me for the last. But please just let me live. Oh, you're a goner.

And he just comes everywhere. That's hilarious. Good for that guy. It's not her, but that's pretty. for that guy you know and it's not my thing but that's an oscar pretty and i like her dude my thing about kinks twofold one you don't know what you like until you've tried it it's a lot like food there are many foods you might have thought you would never be your cup of tea and then you try it and you're like actually you know what it's better or worse than i thought whatever that is second thing on kinks there's

like a a scale of of what i expect from you right if you're my lover and this hurts or something you can say no right like that that's a no if it's like feet or something feet aren't my thing uh but i use it as an example because it's so harmless and easy i'll lick them if you want me to yeah yeah dude if you're clean if you're a foot guy and and like you like this guy dude they're your feet get over it give him what he wants fulfill his fantasy make him happy let the dog lick him let him lick him right like it's an easy ask it's no big deal now maybe you're the odd bird who's had some sort of trauma i'm not talking about you but i'm talking about like in general there if this guy's into gummy bear eating

and your girl is like no that's a bridge too far for me well fuck that girl he's into he's clearly into some sort of vore role play i think the four is the one where you've got the giant women eating the men gobbling them a la like japanese anime sort of that it's a tile wow i had no idea about that but cool cool it's a dude that is such a harmless easy kink if my if my girl wanted that do it i would do it fuck yeah line them up gummy worms gummy bears do your thing yeah exactly any kind of food pretty soon it's like it's like yeah and you're this double quarter pounder you don't want me to eat this pastrami on ride do you ah this is really turned

i bet you don't want me to eat your friend mr pepsid these cheeses are your family oh and the remaining of your friends all of the death by gummy bears i uh i ordered groceries today and uh the instacart lady she texts me we've been going back and forth about like selections i'm making spaghetti tonight and i'm like i don't know she's replacing cheeses and shit she gets to the end and she says uh she says ah your cards declined and i was like no it's it's not she's replacing cheeses and shit. She gets to the end and she says, she says, oh, your card's declined. And I was like, no, it's not. She's like, I tried it at every register. I'm like, it's not mine.

She's like, it's got to be. So I screenshotted my PayPal balance because that's what we're using. And I sent it to her and I said, clearly not mine. We're all good here. And she's like, well, it's not my problem. And I'm like, whose else's would it be? You're at the store. I was like, what's not my problem and i'm like whose else's would it be you're at the store i was like what's gonna happen now she's like you'll have to take it up with instacart you know and instacart sent me like like i think they fired her but instacart said sent me this thing that was very

clear they're like it was her card that was declined this is ridiculous we're sending me they sent me some credits and they were real cool and they instantly ordered it again for me. But she was being sassy about the whole thing. She's like, clearly you don't have $37, sir, for spaghetti and hamburger meat. And I'm just like, nah, I do. I promise. Will you run it again or something? And no, it was her who didn't have $37. So I felt better. Well, maybe she'd do better in life

if she had a better attitude. If she wasn't such a cunt, she'd have $37.50. That is her problem. She's a cunt. I mean, it can't help. It can't help on your journey to gain $37.50. I think a personal attitude would go a long way. A little charisma helps.

I set an appointment today to go to the dog shelter and I showed i showed up uh like 20 minutes early i'm here for the 2 30 and she's like we don't have a 2 30 and i'm like huh i'm like pull it up on my email i got the confirmation and i'm like it's the right day it's not the right day she goes she goes that says the 21st and i'm like like, well, shit. Well, do you have any dogs today? That's what I said. I was like, I'm here. And she's like, let me see if anybody can take you back. And there's literally nobody to take me back to look at the dogs.

But there's a very specific dog I want that they've got in there. And I can't go get him. So I'm hoping he's still there when I go back and find him. Can you tell me about the dog? It's like a mini husky. It looks like a husky fucked a what are those little dogs?

Corgi. Like a husky corgi. Oh, wow. But it retained all the husky traits. I'm not confident that was consensual. No, it wasn't. That's going to shed more than you can imagine. I'm not dead set on that dog.

I wanted to look at that dog and see what his deal was. But the dogs I'm looking at are all medium-sized, like Spaniels. Yeah, maybe a little bit like that. Mine looks less sporty. Less sporty? Not quite such an athlete. Mine's kind of a crossover. If it were a car.

My dog's more of a napper. But I'm looking at dogs that are like German Shepherd mixes. They have that kind of head on them. I feel like there's a few different designs despite all the breeds. There's that Labrador head. Weimaraners have that same fucking head yeah it's the same fucking head right i know they're two different things but they got the same fucking head a bunch of them do and then bulldogs

all have that fucking wide jaw thing where their jowls come all the way back to their fucking ears yeah i don't like that so they can eat you like a fucking ball of death uh one thing i i've said the whole way is i will have nothing to do with a bulldog. I can't do it. Even if I found one, a pit bull, yeah. Even if I found one that was like, hello Kyle. And I was like, holy shit, this one talks!

And they're like, only to you apparently. Oh my god, I'd still leave his fucking shit bull ass there to die. No, no, no. Do you mean bulldog or pit bull? I mean pit bull. But they all look the same to me like i don't trust the boxers either um i don't know i don't like any of those weaponized dogs and i guess you could say the same is true about german shepherds but most of the ones i'm looking at are like 30 or 40 pounds i don't know i do not like pitbulls i think they they are more armed

than the average dog and i want i want to be able to kick my dog's ass that's like unquest good question we can just go from that standpoint i will only have dogs that i can beat to death with my i can beat any dog to death prove it i don't know i've never been beaten by a dog well but that's because belgian malinois is that that huge dog they're not huge um no i i heard a really good description i think maybe it was the the trainer i bought him from he described it as german shepherds as police dogs and military dogs working dogs in general being like the arnold schwarzenegger and belgian mouths being more like a bruce lee where and and you may have seen a demonstration that's often played on reddit where where bad guys barricaded behind a bunch of office chairs and shit. And they sick the German Shepherd on him.

And the German Shepherd kind of like plows through all the chairs and like fucks the guy up. You know, German Shepherds, 80 to 115, 120 pounds, big fucking dogs. Then they send the Belgian Mal in. It clears 35 feet in midair like a missile and hits this guy and takes him down like it's just a different smaller more jumpy bouncy scary hyper active dog and yeah i got one for some reason for three thousand dollars i think out the door i think i was about three grand out the door i got i don't remember thinking that was such a good deal i I was like, I get to take his toys too? You're throwing the toys in for $3,000?

Yeah. You're throwing in these $7 worth of stinky trash with it? His water bowl. We got him home, put him in his kennel. Water included. We left him alone for an hour and a half tops. We went to Walmart and back to get him food mind you and when we came back he had shit in the kennel and then gotten the zoomies and done circles in the shit for like i don't know an hour and a half and and it was the most putrid smell kitty and i

were cleaning it up and vomiting we were both gagging as we did it like like constantly going and i'll be like stop don't do it or i'm gonna puke i'm gonna puke don't do it and then she was back and forth with the vomiting and cleaning his disgusting shit up that was night one with that cocksucker and then he bit me you know like a year and a half later two years later he bit me hard and like it was clear like he could have taken my calf off if he wanted to but he bit around my calf and like it was like a he could have taken my calf off if he wanted to but he bit around my calf and like it was like a warning bite not a nip like did you just flex your calf and break his teeth that's my move i tried that and he bit a little bit harder and i cried and then i killed him like i walked outside and he was outside and i didn't know it and we were just in a standoff scenario

where he was just like super aggressive and I just froze and looked away from him and he walked up to me and bit my calf hard squeezed it once and then backed away and barked some more and I just I didn't even move when he bit me I just went and Kenny went oh shit did he

puncture wounds like what was the no he just bruised the fuck out of it and like scraped the skin you You know how skin turns red and it rolls up on itself or whatever? He was clearly giving me a serious warning. But stay away! Their teeth are a lot sharper

than other dogs. Labradors have intentionally dull teeth. So they don't damage the duck when they bring it back to you. This dog has teeth that are clearly made to dig into people and hold on to them while a copper comes with his baton to rough them up. This dog that Zach linked looks really cool to me. Zach, can you show the picture of it?

I don't even know if it's real. It might be shopped, but this dog's got... I think you're right. Now that I see it, it was really big on my screen. That's the fakest field I've ever seen. Unless that's a dog the size of a... I mean, it might be a real dog, but he's not in that field. He's not in the field.

If you go to Amazon, if you want to see some more funny photoshopping, Zach, go to Amazon and look up dog hats and find the photos of the dogs wearing the hats that they're selling. They couldn't even find a dog that would sit still for their hat, so they just photoshopped hats on the dogs. They couldn't find dogs that put up with that horse shit.

That's one thing I'm going to do. Immediately buying clothes for my dog. I found this necklace. I say necklace. I found a dog chain on Amazon, and it's like a big Cuban chain, but it's gold. Oh, look at this. Look at that guy. All right.

I think that dog's actually wearing the hat. That dog's wearing that fucking hat. That's pretty cool. I do like the propeller hat. Because you can tell he's not loving it. No. They're like, I promise you have the bacon. Just sit still a little longer.

I won't believe you, but not... Dogs with shoes are hilarious. Okay, you have to get a little dog like that just for this. See, that's the thing. I've never been to a pound. Make your pet morph, though. Go back to that other picture Zach

the Asian make your pet more funny make your rook right anything you want have you ever seen those Amazon listings where it's like man this is the cheapest binder they have for trading cards and it's like hold all card

many card and I'm like i don't think i'm gonna i don't think i'm gonna roll the dice with this one these are the final short these good short wear over leg size is l like it's lx what's that mean i'm worried that i'm gonna go in there because i've never been to a scenario before, Pound or anything like that, where I could take dogs home. Everybody else has always gotten dogs for me. I mean, there was a time

when I bought Dak, but he was in there with a bunch of other professional working dogs. I went broke buying two or three dogs there. His dogs cost more than cars. It's absurd. There was no danger there. But like his dogs cost more than cars. Like it's absurd. So there was no danger there. But it like the Atlanta Humane Society or wherever the fuck it's like $80.

At first I was going through these cutesy dog adoption agencies. And to be fair, that's where the good dogs are. That's where the cool dogs are. They'll have like one blue eye, one green eye. And they'll be like an albino fucking great dane or something that can fly but like you said with the chips like no you don't want to look back and be like oh i could have had a awesome dog i got this because here's the thing the place don't we do you have bad dog luck again no no this place i'm going these are going to be

pups that they like took in and found. Oh, that's great with the dog hats. I'm getting a dog hat. That middle one is so fucking cute in that little pink hat. Look at the one with the pink hat. I want to hear Kyle's explanation of why he's eating a pound. They've taken them in. I think, were you headed towards their true rescues? Well, those

other places are so picky about the people they allow to have the dogs that I refuse to stand and be inspected i'm i'm like look i'm okay with giving you the 600 fee for a mutt that you're charging i like that you're taking that money and that goes to like helping these other dogs with health problems great call it a donation great but you're not coming to my fucking house to inspect it dude you're not gonna come to my house and inspect it and and like 80 of places where you like get these dogs home inspection

required they're gonna come and make sure they're gonna make sure that you have a proper fenced-in yard with enough room for this fucker to play make sure that it's clean and like livable that you don't that you're not running a puppy mill. They're going to run a background check. They want references. I want to be a fly on the wall for this. It's easier to buy a car than to get a dog. I may be a felon, but I know for a fact that dog steals.

I had a piece of bread on the coffee table before he got here. The only difference between him and I is police enforcement. Yeah, that's right. Look at us, thick as thieves. I mean, he fucked up when I met him. I don't see the difference. Yeah, he's in jail right now i'm busting him out why are you

judging me that is bullshit that they want to come to your house yeah i i decided when i looked at that that like i'm not gonna put up with that i i don't first of all i do want a dog soon ish and it's this long process where you got to go meet the dog and hang out with him and then like leave and then the dog's foster family goes and like reports on you to the adoption agency they're like yeah i think kyle would do but we need to check his place out scope everything out and they're like okay okay we'll send the guy in and then i guess they make an appointment with you like all right you passed the first step. I've been through this. I won't do it. We had people come.

We had a fenced-in yard. We had a stay-at-home mom in the family. They're like, and kids. They're like, yeah, this is where the dog should go. They liked us, but we just happened to fit the demo they were looking for. See, I don't like that either. I don't like that the dog has options. If these dogs have

options, then maybe I misunderstood. You'd call this a dog rescue. That doesn't sound like a situation. These dogs don't need rescue. I need a dog that's a day and a half from a pizza oven. He's got a fucking Star of David

shirt on. They're lining him up to the mortuary i want that dog i want a dog that appreciates me and that's why like i'm a little worried about the pound situation because i'm going to be walking through rows and rows of these little fuckers in cages and uh and and i'm thinking in my head that like i know i've looked at like 30 dogs that i like amongst the 300 they have and I'm going to see how the dog treats me, if he seems to like me genuinely. Now, it's possible, I'm worried,

that they like everyone. I'm worried I'm going to come back with more than one fucking dog because they are only like $80 a pot. You could get 10 dogs. If you do, Kyle. As many as will fit in a Camaro, they'll give them if you get 10 dogs if if you do get 10 dogs as many as will fit in a camaro they'll give them to you that's a that's a great great little costume and said fill her up put that back on the screen is it hard

get that get that jew dog back up there. $80 for the dog? I don't know. That's a lot. That's steep. I could do $2. If you get two dogs, they will play with each other a lot. Here's what can make me get two easily.

I like that they do this. A lot of these places have bonded pairs. They have two dogs who are buddies or brothers or sisters or something, and they've been with each other, and then their owner died. I could see myself getting one of those. What I won't get is one of those pitiful bonded pairs where you've got Otis, and Otis is 17, a fucking bloodhound. He used to be red, but now he's white.

He has no eyeballs, and they left his eye sockets open. And he's deaf. And all he does is sniff and spin. But he has a seeing eye dog. But Carla's there, and all Carla does is guide Otis. And I'm just going to be, what am I, supposed to cry all day, every day with these two dogs? They're supposed to be supporting me, all right? Kyle, imagine getting

five dogs and becoming a pack leader. No. Now you can hire little Stevie, but he's blind, so you'll need to get Kevin with him. He's a seeing-eye ball python. And he's going to wrap himself around

Stevie. It was like around him and his head was right next to Stevie's and he'd stick his little tongue. If he wanted to go left, he'd lick one ear and lick the other. They'd back and forth guiding the dog around. That'd be precious. That wouldn't rat it over.

That's the only way I'd get a snake. Ah, snakes suck. Don't get a snake. That's the other thing. At some of snake Ah snakes suck don't get a snake That's the other thing at some of these shelters Out here like Of course they have dogs and cats but the girl The girl I spoke to today was like what species And I was like why not just ask dog Or cat and say that out loud

But I said dog of course and she's But they've got everything Canine I say Well they've got guinea pigs and They've got a mini horse. They've got guinea pigs, baby kittens, things like that. Because I have birds of prey and they don't. How cool would it be to put a baby guinea pig in the driveway?

Watch the birds come swooping down. Oh, come on. But like the whole time you're like having to set it up to like pretend like you're not letting it get murdered. You're like, Peanut, get back here! It's just a fucking guinea pig, obviously. It's not coming back. I called him.

Sorry, Jackie. I called Peanut. There's still a good deal of his viscer on the patio, if you want to see. Well, it's dinner time. Yeah, I haven't even had dinner. It's like after eight. on the patio if you want to see. Well, it's dinner time. Yeah, I haven't even had dinner. It's like after 8. Alright, PKN 417.