Painkiller Already - What Happened To Woody: PKA 707 W/ Harley

Episode Date: July 6, 2024

Hello there, PKA 707 with our guest Harley. Taylor, we've got some wonderful sponsors. Tell me about them. Well, we've got BetterHelp.com. We've got Lock and Load. And we've got Painkiller Ready official merchandise over at PainkillerReady.com. Check it out.

PKA 10 for 10% off. Get yourself a t-shirt or even a mug. Whatever you want. Now this is the kind of mug that you could lift it up high so we can see you could like kill a small animal with it it's this isn't some some willy-nilly mug you drop this you're gonna dent your floor it's not gonna shatter the mug the highest quality that china manufactures they make good stuff they make good stuff i've never told you to send me one.

What the fuck? We did, and he said, I'll send it to everyone we know other than Harley, that despicable motherfucker. Yeah. He's jealous of me. That's why we started without him.

That's why we started without him. Well, hopefully Woody's doing all right and didn't tumble from the sky in a catastrophic accident. I'll be honest, man. You probably shouldn't even make that joke because we don't know where he is. This will be a real funny callback. That'd be so crazy.

Play that and then the news footage of the crash scene. You're right. God forbid, God forbid, if you got a call that we should continue podcasting, though. Oh, for sure. We'd have to finish the show. People would be mad. Let's just make this an in-memorial episode in case. Just in case.

This episode is maybe dedicated to Woody's Gamertag. Hopefully, everything's fine, and it doesn't have to be an in-memoriam episode. Hopefully he didn't hit an Arby's restaurant at 80, 90 kilometers per hour, however fast that silly thing he rides around goes and just explode into a ball of flames and roast beef. I hope not. God forbid that happened.

He shushed me millions of times and I've shushed him and now that he's forever shushed, I would do anything you know now that now that we're like selling merch again if if woody fell out of the sky we need to make like a unbelievably tacky like him with wings floating up to heaven oh yeah black family on vacation he's a fucking atheist yeah like no but not in our remembrance of him we'll be like woody woody's gamer tag devout christian just like his

parents yes yeah later in life he was a born-again christian uh he didn't want it to be public because he thought he'd be called a hypocrite but uh but he was just all about jesus in the life and so we have his in memoriam t-shirts. Angel Woody. Angel Woody keychains. Angel Woody stickers. The last thing he texted me and Kyle in our group chat before he sadly crashed into the World Trade Center memorial was that he was going to vote for Trump this time. That he was sick of Biden and the Democrats' lies. His dying words.

He wrote them in blood at the base of the Twin, well, not the Twin Towers, but the memorial site. Yeah, the Freedom Tower. Whatever the fuck that thing is. When he passed away, flying at 85 miles an hour into the base of the Freedom Tower. When the cops shot him down.

I said, stop resisting! Yeah. Well, hopefully Woody is all right and we don't have to sell yeah yeah of course unbelievably tacky in memoriam but i mean if i should make you guys got to forge ahead you know it's understandable if any one of us dies we got to keep making the show just pull the trigger on that merch anyways i think it's kind of a hit. Yeah. Yeah. Like, just like Woody's dead T-shirt. It's already been worked on. Like, stairs with clouds, and he's there with his hand out in, like, a white robe. Yeah. Yes.

And who are, like, have you seen those memes where it's, like, a bunch of other dead people, like, welcoming someone to heaven? Yes. Who are the people that he, like, hates the most that we could have him, like, welcoming? Just put other people that are alive, but make them we could have him like welcoming just put other people that are alive but make them like put like blade dr disrespect yeah all right let's not do disgraced youtubers like like minecraft put me in there too for jokes like you know but now i want to cut now i want to cut though should there be should there be a shirt for woody if woody goes

to heaven and a shirt for if you you know, he would go to hell? Yeah, you got to have a hater version, like a hater variant being like, I hope he's in hell. Yeah, we could have Woody burning in hell in memoriam t-shirt. We can have a live graph going of sales on the website. Oh, to decide his fate. Oh, man, it's 51% heaven. Let's give heaven a little more of a boost. I'd buy five hell shirts immediately.

You would? You'd goose numbers? I just don't like how he's always talking about selling his soul to a demonologist or something. He's got no fear of that. I would say I'm agnostic. I think I watch so much of that goddamn cosmology shit on YouTube

and it goes over my head. It just seems like maybe not a white guy with a beard you know on a in a golden kingdom but like maybe something made all this shit that's where i am on god woody's like nothing but chemistry random chemistry and i'm okay with that like there's nothing wrong with that but but he thinks it's that. Yeah, but you know what? Even when I think about the random chemistry, even if that, whatever that random chemistry, whatever that spark was, whatever that first, let me see that chemistry. Let me see those chemicals.

Whatever box it occurred in or whatever it was encased in to have all of this happen that that's that's god whatever that's it that whatever that that amount of power that's like oh yeah the big bang and then all everything exists i don't know what you're here bro i don't know a ton about your religion harley but is there any belief in a satanic demons an afterlife of punishment and pain uh no no no no but i think there's like uh like uh what's it called what's that in between what's that word again purgatory purgatory i think there's some form of that it's a never-ending line we got golems i think we got golems yeah i think there's golems it never moves there oh the golem is interesting there was an x files

episode about a golem. From my understanding via X-Files, it's when a Jewish religious person uses some sort of magic or something to create a clay monster man that he can sort of control and puppeteer to go do his bidding

and revenge. Now dig the tunnels! Dig deeper! Now come scratch my back Now press this elevator button It's Shabbos Don't you hear the phone? Don't you hear the phone? That's my Shabbos golem

I need you to kick this marble down this Rube Goldberg machine. By the way, I respect that hypocrisy and that faith so much. And maybe it's not even hypocrisy. Maybe it's the loophole. Because you see it in every single religion. When I went up to Ohio to do some gun shit, we met these Amish people. There was an Amish man working in the machine gun shop, building machine guns.

And I was asking him all about his shit. He was like three quarters Amish. I don't mean like racially speaking. I mean like... He whacks off. As far as how strictly he follows whatever their codes are of living like it's still 1879. Like a minute.

Yeah, somewhere in between. Like he had a machine gun with a suppressor on it. He's like, this is my baby. And I was like, you have a phone? He's like, this is my baby. I was like, do you have a phone? He's like, well, at the end of our driveway, there's a little shed that has a phone in it. You go out there because it's technically off our property, but the county lets us do that. I was like, do you have buggies and horses? How do you farm? He's like i have a john deer whatever

the number was you know 3180 or whatever the fuck um i'm like what you own a tractor that doesn't sink he's like well i don't own it the john deer dealership holds the title i owe them one dollar still like they keep it like that yeah little workarounds little loopholes i gotta say everyone's jewish bro literally everyone's jewish everyone isopholes. See, everyone's Jewish, bro. Literally, everyone's Jewish. Everyone is? Yeah. I know some people who hate things. Everyone's got the little scams and stuff and the moves and the loopholes.

Everyone's got it. Everyone's got their Shabbos golem. They're just jealous because Jews seem to be the best at it. They're finding little loopholes with their tunnel. I bet the tunnel was some workaround where it's like you can't get delicious cured beef on saturday on walking down the sidewalk and they're like i won't be stopped and make a tunnel i can't believe the jews took tunnels as their thing like it wasn't even their thing they can't even just leave tunnels alone like that's now theirs you you know? Yeah, Jews

doing tunnel stuff. I feel like if fucking Himmler or if Goebbels had presented a sample poster before it went to production to Hitler and was like, Mein Führer, look, they are tunnel people like dirty rats.

Hitler would be like, yeah, but maybe a little nuance, you know? Maybe something to get the mind working. Jews coming out of the tunnels like Hitler's literally like called it, called it. This is unrealistic. They don't tunnel like animals. Now, you know, I am no fan of them, but this is crazy. Joseph, they're not living in tunnels. crazy joseph is that not living in tunnels and then meanwhile joseph just got bags under his eyes like that one dude in new york who's like i knew i heard people fucking dancing

that guy probably believes in 30 different conspiracy theories but it turned out there were in fact jews tunneling under his home and think about that guy just in the context of like an A24 horror movie and he's like there's Jews under the floors here are the divorce papers I'm going to need you to sign here and initial here he's obsessed with the Jews if you're really quiet you can hear the Seinfeld theme

it's like a flashlight in an endlessly dark hallway If you're really quiet, you can hear the Seinfeld theme. It's like a flashlight in an endlessly dark hallway. That would be a good A24 movie. Did you see a Barbarian, by the way? Yeah. I saw that one. Imagine if downstairs in Barbarian, you feel like it was down the dark hallway, and you heard like,

I don't know. You'd be like, oh, fuck. Donald Jews. Donald Jews. Donald Jews jews the horror movie it's crazy is it i think it's is it just the hyper religious jews that were tooling around in the tunnels i don't think like the the sandwich or pickle jews were down there like yeah yeah no like yeah pickle bagel jews weren't down there i don't think no they're busy making delicious treats for us all to enjoy. Yeah, yeah. I had lots.

These Jews would spit on those Jews if those Jews were in the tunnels. Really? The religious ones would see the sandwich Jews and they'd be pissy? I think they spit on mailmen. Spit on mailmen? Yeah. Rude. Because they don't want to pay taxes

bro get the fuck out of here oh we have our own system they deliver mail in a series of tunnels there's just one high up rabbi in new york who won't let the tunnel idea go and everyone else you know that's just a it's just a guy he's like the last guy that made that that's like he's uh all those types of jews this is their boy oh okay yeah yeah i've been i've been following the israeli conflict i don't know if y'all are aware that's still going on still bro yeah what? It's been like my entire life. What the hell? It feels like it's been going on for a minute.

They're so close to solving it, though. Just like fucking right there. Get a little bit more money. A couple more bucks. Just a couple more dollars. What do you need them for? I just am asking for $2 billion. What's a quick $4 billion?

$6 billion and this is over. I love when Biden was like, look, you can have all the rockets, the missiles, the self-defense. Here's the machine guns. Here's the ammo for them. Here are the grenades. Here's some poison gas. Don't say shit about it.

But look, you can't have any more 2,000 pound bombs. We haven't dropped those since World War II. What are you doing? And they were like, America has abandoned us in our power did you really say that that's not yes it became i feel like i think i've heard some stuff like i heard they're like uh yeah that's that's enough for now and they're like i can't believe that you've done this to us dude they're 2 000 pound bombs i think they're dumb bombs as in you're just like it looks about right drop it like they're and you know you've seen the battlefield that part i was

like that's wild and then look i i know what propaganda is but i can't always sift through the propaganda and how horrific the world can actually be sometimes but they were saying this arab guy on the street they were they were saying there were lots of reports that these the idf was using dogs to rape palestinian prisoners he's like they bring in special trained dog to humiliate prisoner in terrible way and i was like jesus christ i saw i literally i i saw that gets my propaganda alarm spinning no but they had they had uh i saw that clip and uh i did see like not long after they showed footage of an IDF dog that was attacking like a Palestinian woman. But then later it was found that that dog was no longer with the IDF.

Like they had taken the dog. The dog was found dead and they had like strapped it to explosives. So whoever goes to the dog to get it, it was booby trapped. And that dog had the footage uh that that footage came from that dog and uh that dog's camera and it was not like with the idf when that scenario was happening with the women so there's a lot of dog talk and then the the the the they said that the idf were uh raping the prisoners with dogs yeah and then um and then like i remembered that girl uh brianna that uh that reporter she just she had like a hostage's

sister on and she that hostage's sister was like uh yeah you know these hostages they've been coming back and saying that they've been sexually assaulted and she was like oh and like rolled her eyes at that and she ended up losing her job but i just thought it was funny that like this woman who was sister of the host was like yeah they're they're being raped out there and she was like yeah right and then they were like uh yeah the idf have dogs and she was like zionist the zionist dog is raping people that's 100 believable yeah uh like rolling your eyes at the person but then being yeah anyways but you never know everything everything we never know right yeah it's true there's no way to know the dog was circumcised so i'm suspect every dog is that's why we do it i know we do it we based it on the dogs

look at that don't you like don't you like that you wish you had like a belly sheath for your penis keep it out during covid i did in sports but i earned one trust me put on some pounds i think my fingers and like push fat back to like piss are you familiar with bad dragon toys sex toys no yes you've you've shown me this website like half a dozen times now i mean i get a i got a discount code there so i'm just trying to cash in it's like women who want to like read fantasy romance books about like a werewolf love story and then fuck a fantasy werewolf oh they're like crazy dicks yeah crazy dicks like everything you could imagine and like they're so popular that now they're i'm imagining just like my dick but blue right now like i don't

know i don't have enough it doesn't look anything like a human there's you couldn't look at one and think it was a human penis. It looks like animal penises. They have names like dog names and dragon names. I don't know what a dragon name is. Dog names? Oh, they're like furry dildos. They're still plastic or whatever, but it'll be named like the Fido or something. Right?

Kyle, you know. Right? I think I remember. the fido or something right kyle you right i i think i i remember oh look at this one there's something it's like new from bad dragon candy and it's just this dragon pussy i think the dog these two kaiju battling but whatever everyone's listening picturing in their head it's not as cool as that it looks more like a commissioned art piece from someone who desperately wants to be drawing porn instead yeah see like marcel the wear the wear croc what is a wear croc good pop i've seen good pop quite a bit it's a crocodile bitten by a werewolf okay that is Now it is a werecrog. Oh, here's Aquadrax. Now, I guess if I had a vagina, this Aquadrax isn't that bothersome,

but these ones where you could put an egg inside and then lay an egg inside. Yes! The woman is a little, that's a little more than. Yeah. Dude, put on aliens. It's a little gauche.

You put on aliens? You put eggs in it, inside this dildo, and then they put it inside them, and then the dildo releases the eggs inside you. Yeah. And they come with that really gooey, drippy lube. What's that called, that action?

The action of doing that, putting that in your... Oh, pegging? No, no, no. That's like when a girl puts a strap on. Oh, this is hilarious. Did you see Winston's tongue? This is the funniest one.

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pleasure or your vagina's pleasure whatever you got down there it's called the front hole let's get a sponsorship with bad dragon going we like have to like wheel ourselves in next episode and it's like yeah yeah, I tried the fucking minotaur dick and

I got a colostomy back now. I got the eggs. I got the eggs. I thought it only held four, but I feel something up there. It's not coming out. Does this thing come with three or four eggs? This is vitally important.

Isn't that a Dirty Harry scene? How many times did I shoot? Yeah. Oh, yeah, you nailed it. How many times did I shoot my gun? You may ask yourself at this important juncture of the film. Yeah, that's it. Was it merely five times or perhaps six?

Remember that classic scene? That's not what he says at all is that not it no that's a good fucking thing he's shooting indians this is so funny i didn't know what this was i thought i was looking i'm like this looks like a regular penis what's the deal with this thing um terrible sound clip by the way uh well i was like what is but it's called a fantasy packer and you put it you put it in your pants so that you're like you got a bulge so like you're like taking up space in there how much is that thing uh worth it 65 bucks jesus you can go out you can you can go to places and like have your phone by your by your bulge and then you could upload like a bulge watchers video yeah so you just put your your

soft penis into this like plastic thing and then you don't have a penis oh no i was thinking that i would be putting my small soft penis inside of of this. Oh, does it have a. Because I thought you could. I had no idea. But but but they're small, medium and large on the back. And then there's firmness. You could choose the firmness like extra soft. Like how soft do you want that?

That penis inside your pants. This is you know, this doesn't seem like a very functional sex toy. i think this is for ladies or excuse me sorry trans people i think it's for everyone i think it's individuals without penis yeah that's the next you know marketing thing packers are for everyone everyone should feel comfortable putting their flaccid penis in uh in rex the werewolves you know penis and we're around town what do you do here like you do you you is there like a belt to fasten it to you or you just like stick it in your underwear because what if it goes upside down and the balls are on top you gotta just be there like adjusting things yeah it's gotta be this thing all day on what if you happen to get aroused

the thought of having this this whole ordeal that you're putting yourself through what if you like but now you're now your penis boner is pushing away the packer and you just have like this weird tube misshaped penises inside your pants yeah what's going on here what are we doing guys there's a lot of answers needed and it says here that packers are available only in extra soft so there's so any sort of sex stuff off the table with this see that's what's annoying bro like woke media is ruining everything we used to be able to get the hardest packers bro yeah that's at risk the democrats are trying to take your Chico little squirt Self-coming Penis away from you We have no for you

Little squirt self-coming penis from me No, they'll never will You can get a sea dragon little squirt self-coming penis For $40 Guaranteeing my right to whatever you just said That awful thing To a sea dragon little squirt? For only $40?ody something happened to woody you definitely got to collab with them and have woody's dead dick

woody's okay though right i really did in my heart i would feel very bad we don't know we don't know if he's not okay we're to have to delete the first half hour of this episode. Hand to God, we have no idea. That's for the patrons. That's for the patrons. Yeah, hopefully he's fine. But he does engage in a lot of hobbies that are dangerous. If Kyle was ever late, I would just be like, oh, he's sleeping. He probably just overslept.

He's on one of his grinds with Tarkov or something. It would be an alarm going bad is what it would be because I always take a nap for an hour before the show. And I have a really good internal clock, so it's rare that I don't wake up a minute before my alarm and stop it. But sometimes I mix up the a.m. p.m. like in a Seinfeld episode. It's not the a.m. p.m. And I just don't get an alarm

there were two dials it's always that and then i think there was an android like update snafu that just made alarms not work for like a day so that made a huge part of america late i'm sure or maybe was Apple. I don't remember which. I just remember my alarm not working. I used two different phones. What is that? That's ringing a bell. What happened? Like, the alarm notifications just didn't work after an update for some people

for a day or two before they figured it out and fixed it. Because I remember my alarm didn't work that day. I didn't wake up. Huh. Well, it's all fixed now, so we know that's not the issue. Yeah. Oh, I don't know what Woody's issue is. He's either completely forgotten that we moved

even though we all sort of you know, said we'd be here. Or he's just in a lot of, he's hurt, you know, somewhere in a cornfield somewhere. He's in trouble with some gangs. Mmm. He's been flying over their turf.

There's no way they'd like that. If he started a gangland warfare scenario. No, no, no. It's just biker gang shit. Israeli bikers. The IBF. It's an Israeli who is traumatized from the October 7th para attacks

and he moved to North Carolina and then he sees Woody coming one day. They're here to finish us off! And he just went anti-air on Woody. Sarah, they found us! I told you, they never stop looking! I have a very specific and silly set of skills. I will fly at you.

You will hear me coming. By the way, that's how Mossad rolls. Like post-World War II, they would send these little hit squads down to south america and they'd scoop up nazis and they'd like beat the shit out of them tie them up and sneak them out of the country all the way back to israel and put them on trial and kill them wow so they they were just suspecting random blonde guys named hans little bigoted they're like yeah he'll do look at him he has been here for 20 30 months like that's that's how that would go maybe that was there's still those german communities down there in south america like the architecture is is like turn of the century german and like you said like so many nazis fled there it's uh it's weird competent

like when you think about like massad and CIA and these organizations, how competent are we talking? I think they're pretty competent. Medium. Mossad, CIA. So the most publicized and famous examples of their competency would be after, was it Black September? At the Munich Olympics, this terrorist group kidnapped several Israeli athletes

and tried to sneak them out of Greece onto a plane back to wherever they were from, Syria or I don't know. And there was a huge shootout. All the Israeli hostages died. All the bad guys died. And the country was embarrassed and they wanted revenge. And they sent Mossad into Europe to get it. They wanted anyone who'd had a hand in that attack and they kept killing and they kill the guy who would replace the guy. And I'm talking about shootings, bombings, stabbings, every way you can imagine.

There's a really good movie about where you go, you know, you they put explosives in this guy's phone and then they get they sit outside and they call him and the phone opens and you know he blows himself up with c4 but the movie's called munich um and then obviously also like timed apparently like timed uh like sending anonymous flowers and condolence for the person's loss like at the same time so they would be like what are you talking about and i would find out later that that happened um but like that's like it's also like a movie it makes it like and that movie's interesting because they're not fully competent there's some major fuck-ups and there's beef amongst their ideologies and there's this crazy scene where they're paired up like sharing a room with the guys that are their targets and they're

all both like both groups are like trying to play it cool those guys don't know that they're israeli though because they're israeli they look like five different types of people yeah um and uh it's just like a crazy scene and they keep changing the radio they like can't agree on the radio two of them like the jewish guy goes over and puts on a song and the arabic guy goes over and changes it and then they go and they agree on something but that's always like like hollywood you know and like when i hear about it like uh all that stuff i remember i did uh like a project on it back in the day we had to do all these it was just we had to base it on a movie and do a project and like i actually ended up doing it on uh not munich something else but like about the

same thing and uh i just i wonder like because that makes it sound really competent like bombing a phone and sending the thing like uh flowers to them and hunting them down and sending agents to other countries that speak a different language and i think about like the level of competency that like it would take to organize some mass crazy event like to like some world-changing event that's like planned and and you guys did it but oh you goofed up because you were dancing at the scene at this it just doesn't seem likely that the level of competency to orchestrate that is also the same level of competencies to actually dance and take pictures in front of it so that's why i'm always like yeah yeah like so i i don't believe that uh

you know these guys were masada agents there i know there's like that whole story is refuted and whatever blah but i'm just like it's crazy that people's idea of the competency is to execute something like that but also be dancing there and i wonder if it's like damn if the cia massad and these like organizations that we don't even know about, if their level of competency is super high, then everything that we know and theorize about now is part of the plan. Like everything we're doing now, sometimes I'm just like everything that's happening now,

if there really is like a secret organization, like a secret, like pulling the strings strings then this is literally all part of the plan yeah or i there's probably just a mixed bag like there's parts like some missions go off without a hitch for the cia massad whatever like of the like of the like s tier intelligence agencies and then other ones like bay of pigs or or whatever are just, you know, it's the same people it just doesn't pan out. It seemed like it seemed like Cuba

we really struggled with. Maybe it was because we didn't have agents who could infiltrate or maybe that everyone was just a true believer down there like in Castro's regime because they tried to kill castro on several occasions they tried poisoning him they tried dosing him with lsd prior to a speech so

he'd be wacky and lose confidence they tried poisoning him in a way that would make his beard fall out because that was like his thing um they tried poisoning him and killing him and they failed every time and then the bay of pigs thing as well another like huge and if you look at the bay then his level of competency is like they're like are you scared he's like no i have a son a secret son part of my plan we won't benefit right now but one day we will benefit i'm we will invade from the inside dude i'm i'm so just looking at those pictures all i the pictures are all i have to say to be like oh fuck trudeau's castro's kid 100 have you seen what trudeau's like supposed dad looks like i've seen it he may as well be japanese that's how little they look alike. And then you see the same nose hump,

the same side silhouette from him in Gastro. I haven't been following your politics very well. Occasionally, I see that conservative guy, the one who was eating the apple when they report. He literally pulls all the Trump plays and puts them to work. They're like, how do you feel about this or that? And this or that? And he's eating an apple. They're like, how do you feel about this or that and this or that and he's like

eating an apple they're like how do you feel about this or that he's like gay question next gay question you're banned get him out of here he may have been outdoors in like a maybe an apple orchard I don't know where he was something like that

I would hope so when are your elections when when does trudeau have to defend again i thought it was 2025 i'm not exactly sure it's the canadian politics are so funny someone tell me you ever see canadian politics where they're yelling at each other like in like the house of commons there you ever see those videos no they're like they're like on opposite sides with like someone uh in the middle like with a gavel and they like get turns like roasting each other like the like like like the finance minister was like uh pointing out i think she's pointing out pierre she was like look at him he's wearing more makeup than me and i'm a woman

and everyone's like oh on one side of the other side it's like shut up shut up and then it goes back to him and he's like no we're not continuing until she gives me an apology and he like bangs he's like apologize she's like i refuse to apologize and like it's just i don't understand how it works wait is it october 25th this year zach october 2025 oh 2025 october 2025 okay um yeah uh but uh yeah it's it's all it's just crazy like canada's canada's wild yeah i mean like it is funny to think of like the Canadian politicians arguing that vehemently amongst each other. It's like, guys, you're Canada. Like, it's not that serious. Like, it's all right.

It's going to pan out. You can't underestimate Canada these days because we had, I mean, Rick Ross came to Canada and played the Kendrick Drake diss song at the end of his concert. played the the kendrick drake dis song at the end of his concert and all these vancouver gangsters like rolled up on him and beat up his crew and they had to like security had to like rush him out they like beat up his whole squad and like threw a drink in his face and started attacking him there's gangsters in vancouver yeah oh vancouver does have uh like quite a few gangsters some great videos that you could look at like vancouver gangsters there's a vancouver i always thought bindi joe hall bindi joe hall is a good a good place to start if you wanted to see just like what it's just interesting to look is that the name of the gang it's a guy yeah he was he was like a brown dude a gangster and like you could

and he was like on the news he'd be like on the news and say shit like people knew him he was kind of like a celebrity a bit like he was famous infamous he and he would be on like the news he'd be like on the news and say like people knew him he was kind of like a celebrity a bit like he was famous infamous he and he would be on like the news talking and shit talking and but there's a bunch of videos of him but like and then even like in canada like uh you know we had our our freedom convoy thing yeah i remember that like january 6th but uh they were like we're not gonna get vaccinated and we're gonna honk our horns then i remember people at the time being like this is traitorous and and dangerous and it's like seems to me like a bunch of sunglasses and profile pic boomers just kind of being like

you're not gonna make me do something yeah but what was weird is like they needed they needed money for their movement and then the government like froze their bank accounts oh that was a major like strange turning point for me personally yeah where i was like like and i was never like yeah go there and honk towards like i know people that lived in that area and hated it it was hell for them but like it's so funny because like i i i wasn't about the freedom convoy i was like whatever but then when the bank accounts got frozen every single thing in the years before that looked different like in an instant things looked different to me um it was bizarre yeah and then actually to piggyback on that like i mean it's like i'm not gonna be like uh oh i love uh benjamin netanyahu or you know whatever it is about israel it's like you

know does israel do all the things that i would have done if i were israel no but uh there's something weird about you know my university having uh netanyahu hanging like a hanging effigy from the gates and he's like wearing straight pajamas so it's like i don't know about this jew in straight pajamas that you have hung up at my university but like that stays there and like you know they they gave out pamphlets with uh like encouraging people to like come for this summer camp thing and there's like on the pamphlet there was a like a dude with an ak-47 um and like that like uh is weird because it's like well i'm not saying freeze their bank accounts either that and they shouldn't and i'm not saying that but now double the fact that you

shouldn't have froze freedom Convoy bank accounts. Why do they have the ability to freeze bank accounts? There should be no one with that power. For that to happen, it should be someone from Homeland Security. I don't know what your equivalent is, but they're the terrorist guys that we invented in 2001 to watch over us and protect us.

Wrap us up like a blanket in the night and look at our emails. So those guys would contact Bank of America or what have you and be like, hey, this wrap us up like a blanket in the night and look at our emails so those guys would contact like bank of america or what have you and be like hey this harley guy we gotta freeze all his money this guy's got a lot of fertilizer for living in an urban area yeah he's hey we either he's got a huge putting green or we're in trouble yeah they shouldn't be able to freeze anyone's bank accounts it's being able to like mild i think they did something with their paypals too uh like they they froze donations that were coming through

on paypal also i saw that like sites like we'll do that all the time by the way that was the lie that i was told to tell if i wanted lots of ammonium nitrate from a fertilizer store putting in a putting green really i mean i guess it sense. That would take a ton of it, right? Well, I think they do something to fertilizer-grade ammonium nitrate now that makes it not great for explosives. It seems like something you should have led with, like do that off the start.

Well, you know, they didn't realize somebody would do what they did. I'm pretty sure that's true because I know I've tried to use fertilizer-grade and it didn't they didn't realize somebody would do what they did I'm pretty sure that's true because I know I've tried to use fertilizer grade and it didn't work I know when you buy the explosive grade stuff they say prilled I don't know what prilled means I never looked it up I don't know if it means

that they like make tiny perforations in each pellet or if it's just the nature of what the pellets are shaped like and that it comes in extruded pellets or whatever but in any case like that was what i was like yeah tell him you're putting in a putting green because he's going to be like oh that's he's not going to want to give you all pure ammonium nitrate he's going to want to give you some 30 we can't we can't you know talk about uh these turning point issues with the government and then start talking about bombs right after

well i think we should have you know you know you gotta have some freedoms here you shouldn't be coming and looking into why i'm buying eight tons of ammonium nitrate i'm an american god damn it you know your business golf i i need eight tons of ammonium nitrate and it's none of your business why you know that's that's how i want the the law to be you know you got got some bank libs some lib banker looking down his nose at my uh my uh fertilizer purchases wow down his nose huh no no dog whistling there at all not even not even two or three but that's that's what i do want homeland security to be looking at to be fair is is the guy who's trying to buy eight tons of ammonium nitrate but like not demonizing the guy who wants a shotgun

in any and he lives in new jersey yeah i don't know i don't i don't understand some of the supreme court rulings that i just don't care to so sometimes the chevron thing going down i was like i don't know if this is good or bad. And it was funny. You were like, it's good. And Woody goes, it's bad. And I'm like, it's probably both. It's probably both.

I mean, I'm no expert on it. It just seemed like, oh, this makes it harder for unelected bureaucrats to unilaterally control decisions that should be made by the Supreme Court know it throws it to the judicial system right you know it lets courts decide whether these got these um um issues that would normally be decided by something like the epa um yeah i don't know i wonder what it does to atf because that's like the one that i've always thought has a lot of overreach it It seems like they can write a rule that is as good as law. That doesn't seem appropriate to me. No, it does not. It seems

like a little workaround that some special interest groups could very easily take advantage of. Trump's bump stock ban got knocked down. Nice. A couple weeks ago. Shame I had my father melt all of his. Yeah, you just needed to hide him for like three years and you would have been good no well see i don't want to do anything approaching like breaking a law you know what i mean it's certainly not with that so i told him when that band came in i was like hey atf says you have six weeks to get rid of those fucking things that you got over there he had like 15 or something he melted them them. And you melt it down? What are you left with when you melt it down?

Nothing. So these were plastic. It's the back of an AR-15, the stock. So it's mostly plastic that came in a bump stock kit, or at least the ones that he had. But you can't sell that to someone outside of, oh, it's like, I mean, you're just melting it down just because it's six weeks,

like get rid of it right away. Just destroy them. Just destroy them. Yeah, I mean, you wouldn't want to sell them. I mean, you know, they were basically saying that this stock that let you fire the gun really fast made it a machine gun or was a machine gun. Making anyone who had one a felon, essentially,

if they wanted to prosecute you which you know sometimes they do so yeah that got knocked down um and i don't it seems to me that all of trump's legal problems disappeared this week when the supreme court ruled that he had some immunity um like like when he signed that check to stormy Daniels, that was an official act, Taylor. He did that at the Resolute desk. He was fucking her on official business. He was. That's that's literally what's caused all of this to stop. There's not going to be they're delaying the sentencing forever on all of those 43 felonies.

Like we're just not. Let's see what happens, because they just realized that their case doesn't have any legs to stand on now because the supreme court said he's immune for some reason um for a lot of that stuff and there's a big scary spider behind you uh he's okay and yeah he's fine he's a good guy okay i hope it's a spider, it might be a roach I think a roach knows better than to be there Yeah, roaches are notoriously skittish, they don't just like run around your house

That one looks like he's happy to be here Yeah, well if he is Imagine if Woody's soul has passed into that spider and he's come to visit He's come to visit Woody? My parents do soul has passed into that spider and he's come to visit he's come to visit it's very like like what do you think like my parents my parents do like like if a blue jay flies into the yard

they're like look it's grandma dude i love that like kind of like over the top optimism where it's like that's great grandfather herschel you know and he's been that Cardinal out there. Who's going to be consumed by a Hawk later this afternoon. Yeah. I came back as an animal and it was a bug. I would know I fucked up in life. Big time. Maybe it's wonderful being a bug though.

Maybe you don't, maybe you don't understand how little your life is and it's just nothing but drinking sugar and, and flying through the air. We're bugs right now. Probably like we are bugs. We think we're the air. We're bugs right now, probably. Like, we are bugs. We think we're so big. We're probably bugs.

Less than bugs. We'd be getting crushed by something giant out there if we were the bugs. No, time is just so crazy that, like, it's where we're just some molecule floating in some larger, grander existence. And we're, like, it just, that hasn't happened yet. I don't want to, i don't like the depressing we're on end to depressing this of that we're on end time so everything's we're this is super slow or no super fast actually yeah you know what i'm saying right i know you're down in lord of the rings time yeah we're in hobbit time we're or man time whatever the yeah we're on bottom leaf time you know what i'm saying bottom leaf i only smoke top leaf

yeah i saw like uh an article pretty recently that talked about tolkien like late in his life some like hippie dippy people were like bro long bottom leaf it's like weed and apparently tolkien hated that he was like it's not weed it's tobacco in the fantasy world i don't know what he sounded he didn't sound like this probably not Not even close. That's not a fan of this, bro. He's like a professor of linguistics. He probably spoke pretty well. Oh, brother. In it.

He's like, bottom leaf is not weed. It's crack. It's crack. I used to believe it was weed. The whole fantasy world. They ran through fucking four countries on like three pieces of lembas bread yeah killing a rat along the way they're on that they're on that nazi meth head diet

oh yeah that was going and going like eating a third of it before they even left i told you i saw lord of the rings two towers extended cut in 40x does it come around the sides they like uh no no it's not that but this same theater does have one of those and i've been to one of those the immersion ones and i like it because it just i like watching i don't watch movies in in the complete darkness so the extra screen screens just create more light and i enjoy that but they didn't immerse me any further but 4dx it like shakes you and stuff like when you're on the warg it's like literally like like bouncing you and you. Like when you're on the warg, it's like literally like bouncing you

and you're like popcorn is bouncing. You're like, you're me, you're stoned. You're like, what's it like animal drool? It like splashes water in your face. And when they're fast, like the wind blows. And then when they're burning, they burn all the Uruk-hai bodies, all those orcs that they burn in that one. The theater starts to smell bad

and whenever the elven princess is on the screen the theater smells really good oh that's fun i would and then like did you only see two towers or did you see all three of them i only saw two towers um but i because i was only there that day but to be honest i was happy for two towers because whenever i go to 40x i usually turn off the water because i don't like that effect it bothers my buddy but when it was coming up to helms deep i was like hey and i like turned my water on i was like for helms deep i'll have the water on you need like it's happening you're just like it's raining on you you're watching helms deep and it's like like you're getting rained on do i get amped up at the beginning of helms's Deep every time. That's so cool. When that arrow flies and hits that fucking...

Yeah, when what's-his-name accidentally shoots the arrow, kills the Uruk-hai. It's so crazy how scary they are when they're out there. You're like, oh, fuck, we got to do this now? It's still scary now the way it's presented when they're out there and they're just like... They're savages, but they're literally a cohesive unit right now banging their fucking sticks and yeah and you see that one uruk-hai go up on that rock

that kind of juts out and kind of screams and get you know if i were a real nerd i'd know his name water vapor when he screams coming off of that real mask was so cool that was ripping flies yeah and you get splashed in your face if you're watching it in 4DX. Taylor showed me... I've never seen it in 4DX theater. You sent me that picture of Grishnak, who is the... I believe he's the orc

who wants to eat Merry and Pippin on the way back to Saruman. Was that people? Just the legs. What about them? They don't need those. They are not fighting. Why why do they give good sport he looks exactly like three jewish people i know

and every time i watch it i always say to my mom like yeah he looks like jay he looks like jill biden he looks like jill biden tay Jill Biden. He looks like Jill Biden. Taylor told me that, and now I can't get the image out of my head. And I saw Jill Biden at a... I'm not even trying to be super biased. I think it's ridiculous when they make fun of politicians for being ugly. They're all kind of ugly. They all got their disgusting flaws. Hillary had a huge can for an old white gal,

and they kept the cameras off that thing. But rewind me three seconds. You're snack looking like Jill Biden. Oh, my God. I saw Jill Biden hollering at the post-debate debate where Biden was like in, I don't remember where he was, but he did a rally stop. And he's like, I don't speak as well as I used to, and I'm not as slick, but I'm not a liar.

And this is about the truth or whatever he said. And Jill Biden at one point takes the mic and she's like, we're all so proud of you, Joe. You you answered all the questions. I swear to God, that's what she said. She said, you answered all those questions like that was a bar. Like I almost expected her to be like Bill Maher. I'd be like, you you stayed up, right? No, it was Jon Stewart

You stayed upright continuously But she's yelling And when she yelled she looked just like that fucking orc dude And I just Just feral I love I fucking love And I hate that it was trademarked

But I love in Shadow of Mordor They had the nemesis system so like if you ever got killed by an orc any orc even like or a goblin like whoever killed you they got a promotion and like they were always every character was like named and like so like you would just like some fucking loser just gets the last hit on you he's's like, oh, I've killed the ranger. And then you're playing and like 20 minutes later, you're doing something. And then you just hear like,

gree shock, gree shock, gree shock. And then it like zooms in on some guy. And he's like, what if it isn't the ranger? Maybe I need to taste it. And you're just like, nothing ever got me to like sit up like like a like an ai like yeah multiplayer yeah but when this isn't a real person i'm lying back gaming but i sit back i'm like fucking gree shuck bro let's go like i remember that was a great mechanic you do it was amazing i hate that like no one else can do that because they're like no we trademarked we're not making

these games anymore oh that sucks because that is you play the mechanic did you play shadow i played one of them briefly and it was a little too uh little too repetitive very repetitive but the combat system super repetitive but after what like like once you've killed i think i only killed like three or four so like three or four bosses and was like that was the second one i think and the second one i feel like oh no it could have been the first one too i played the second one felt more like pay to win style the second one had like because you can buy the second was the one where they sold that the dead developer r.i.p they were like they put him as a skin like as like an orc that they like was a white orc that they named after him in honor of him and uh they were like yeah the proceeds go to the family

but it was a very small percentage of the proceeds that went to the family and everyone found them they were like really like bothered by that and they're like why not just give it all yeah i even like why not you know like for whatever the reason is. Also, did he want to be memorialized as an orc or did they just decide he's going to be an orc now? Because I wouldn't want to be an orc character. He hated it when we called him the white orc, but now that he's gone, he can't stop us. Yeah, the white orc, the worst villain

in the Lord of the Rings hobbit series i just wasn't scary i can't those hobbit movies are garbage man every bit almost every minute of that like nine hours of content or whatever it is is bad there might be 20 solid fun minutes the dragon shit is pretty good made such a great one movie yeah yeah made such a crazy good one movie i don't even know if they could though they could it's a great story hear me out when you get to the end and you have that battle between the elves and the dwarves it's too comical and and light-hearted for me like i just saw the clip on reddit yesterday i didn't even remember it where all the elves do a volley fire into the dwarves and the dwarves launch these whirly dwarlies or something to chop up all their arrows in midair

and then they continue on and just annihilate at least dozens and dozens of elves and i'm thinking like all of those immortals just died for no reason over there but we cut to the to the leader of the dwarves and he's like how do you like our twirly darlies you bunch of pointed ears and it's like ha ha ha he killed those elves for daring shoot arrows at them now they're gonna chart i didn't like any of that shit yeah it would have made a good companion piece for the trilogy if you just had like a like a hour and a half max 90 minuteminute fucking banger that's just, you know, for the real boys that want to chronologically go through the whole thing, just to add to the extended cut sickos

that do the extended cuts in one shot, you know? Yeah. Like, it's just part of it. And yeah, I actually did not watch these at all. Like, I was so not about it. I just, I read The Hobbit and I was like, you can't do this to me. I'm not playing your game. I'm not about it. I just, I read the Hobbit and I was like, you can't do this to me. I'm not playing your game.

I'm not doing that. I would not. You didn't watch the movies? The Hobbit movies? No, the most I saw is when I was like in Best Buy and they were trying to sell like TVs. They like to show that movie because it had the special like 48.

Yeah, exactly. So they like to show that movie and i would stand there in some scenes i'd look at and i'm like oh it looks kind of cool in this isolated moment right here and i let's i'm not going to ruin that but it's not like there's a lot of scenes that don't make any sense characters that shouldn't be there it's i'll never re-watch the hobbit series did you like that old cartoon from back in the day where they yes loved it over people yes yeah i watched that at my grandparent's house on vhs it was great like that technology was crazy you're like dude this is fucked this is like real there was like also the full cartoon hobbit if you ever saw that from like the 70s oh that's the one i was talking about where they're like

they're drawing over it they were like oh fuck we haven't seen that in so long oh yeah there's like there's like an intro and then they have an intro it's like real people it's like black and red and it's like real people as they kind of like do that little bit of exposition and yeah it's just like one of those like that era and movie where like that era in time where like every animated thing was also geared to stoners because that's who was watching it the animated content wasn't quite there yet you remember that movie heavy metal it was like a series of stories animated yeah it was so crazy that with a major boobage it had like that guy he was it was kind of like a fifth element where that that guy's like a cab driver and he has he has that girl they're chasing him it's like that guy he was it was kind of like a fifth element where that that guy's like a cab

driver and he has he has that girl they're chasing him it's like a future cab and he he has like a button that vaporizes the guy in the back seat i have not seen this on second i have not no so good it's a good one i haven't seen it in a long time i haven't i didn't watch it i'm sure you'll put it on and you'll be like this has been on TV before at an age when I didn't know what I was watching. That's possible. And I watched it and you were, back in the day, you were like halfway through a movie and you don't know what the movie's called and you kind of like it and you have no idea what it is

and there's no way to ever find out what was on channel 35 at 1 a.m. on that day. My dad had a satellite dish in like 1988 so like one of those big ones that looked like he was searching for extraterrestrial life and so i we get british cable and so i would watch all these little british cartoons and i have these somewhat vivid memories of like from four years old of like a character called pat oh banana man banana man okay he'd be like i'm banana man he's because it's a guy and he was a superhero banana and i i have no concept of if that was real or if that was a fever dream i had um i do remember david the gnome do you remember david the gnome no all right boys this is for those of y'all who are my age maybe you remember this because you had to be four in like 1990 to to know david the gnome maybe it was this animated series about two gnomes

who lived in a tree david and his wife sarah and david was a doctor and gnomes lived for like 200 years or something i think and but david would ride around on a fox like like fast as hell to go out and like do medicine for i think forest critters and other like tiny peoples and stuff like that at the end of the series he was like where am i 200 years around and he dies he straight up just died i i i literally just put in david the gnome and it said david the gnome dies. That was what Google predicted. David the Gnome death. It's

him and Sarah would do Eskimo kisses. They'd rub their noses together and they'd both get red. It was a sweet little cartoon, but I have vivid memories of that stuff. I wonder what my earliest memory was. This is from the synopsis. The series follows the Gn gnome a kind of species

who are 15 centimeters six inches tall and weigh between 250 and 300 grams eight to ten ounces there are several types of gnomes those of the forest garden farmhouse dunes and siberia as well as nomadic gypsy gnomes who are generally looked down upon by other gnomes. With few exceptions, a gnome's lifespan is exactly 400 years. Man, this is, you remember this pretty well. For not having seen it. When did it, when did it, like, air? Episode 1986.

Okay. I was watching reruns. October 1985 to April 1986. Not a long run i wasn't born yet yeah just before i was born so i would definitely voiced by tom bosley isn't that the suit guy who the fuck is tom bosley oh he's an actor i thought he was like the i was thinking like the men's warehouse guy you're gonna like but you're gonna like the way you look guy yeah you're like the way you look that big ass uh satellite dish that you were describing always reminds me of that movie stay tuned which was so sick back in the day it was this movie uh uh was it mitch ritter and him and his wife uh get sucked into uh

a tv they get like the sickest satellite uh sorry john ritter they get the sickest satellite dish and it's like a huge satellite dish and um they're like watching tv and fight over the remote and the the whole thing is it's like satan satellite dish uh uh this is mostly off memory and i've never seen this this is oh they get sucked into the tv and then it's all these parodies shows but like it's like evil twisted versions of the parody of shows is it animation when they go in there is one animated channel no there is one channel that's a cartoon and that's how the kids see it he's like watching he's like yo he's like this is mom and dad and his sister's like don't be an idiot give me the remote my friends are watching he's like yo this is mom and dad

and they like the mom says something even though she's like a cartoon mouse but they're dressed like the parents and they're like what the fuck and they're like parents are stuck in the tv so they're trying to like figure out how to get them so they keep changing the channel and they go to like a wrestling channel now the mom dad are like in on a wrestling show and they're like fighting these wrestlers that are jacked that are beating the shit out of them so something like that if i watched that when i was like five i can tell that would have been really upsetting to me like my parents were so high the stakes were so high when you're watching it as a kid but i'm just thinking about how sick a new version of stay tuned would be but it's the internet and

you're like trying to track your parents and they're like on live leak you're like oh shit oh shit oh shit your parents have like potato sacks over their heads and like go to a different url quickly in an isis video go to youtube something where they can't be killed yeah well they were they were in like a french uh part once and they were about to get like they're on the guillotine about to be decapitated and they're able to escape to the next channel oh no you flipped for like a world war ii documentary i like john ritter i'm gonna have to to watch this now this is gonna be such a treat for now this is gonna be such a treat for you this is gonna be such a treat like i have to watch this again also i like i love all that

80s shit um honey honey i shrunk the kids was one that i felt like had a lot of a lot at stake when i was watching it as a kid i was so worried that series when that aunt dies when auntie dies it's fucking sad when they there were so many good good moments and there were honey i blew up the baby remember that not a great sequel during the during covid i was so obsessed with like just like i had nothing it was just everything was all fucked up i ended up watching a cut of honey i shrunk the kids that my buddy had edited that had all the kids' scenes removed. That's like the whole movie. What the hell happened?

It was just the parents. So it was just the boring exposition where they're like, honey, I'm home, and the wife's like, on this April 8th, the year of our 10th wedding anniversary? It is a weird movie. That's bizarre. The whole time you know where the kids are too you're like yeah but it was funny when it played out because you you know where like you knew when it cut from something that was probably important to make it interesting yeah yeah they just had an ant fight a scorpion or

something yeah and rick moranis he left out he left on top at the end of the honey i shrunk the kids franchise just went off into that good night and he lived a normal life right well his wife died of cancer and he had to retire to to raise their children and uh yeah all right but he said he did little giants also i watched that recently how you feel now well i feel sadder about it you should feel better about this you should feel better about darth helman it's also he did little i guess he did do little giants yeah i remember watching little giants as a young kid and being like damn that kid's carrying a whole refrigerator out of the back of a truck. He must be good at football. And then they played. And was that the,

that was the movie where the, even the coach before the big game was like, I'm not going to lie to you. They're a better team with more skilled kids. They're going to beat us 99 times out of a hundred guaranteed. But what's that leave us. And all the kids are like yeah one time yeah and that is dude you when you watch that movie like when you're younger that that resonates

i found that to be an extremely in like like positive thing to go back on that's still pretty positive for my entire life no that's been there my entire life if there's like a one in 100 chance that you have to do something you're like this is that one time one time just like rick moran said did you watch sandlot because that was my that was the one i really liked as a kid i've seen sandlot yeah that little redheaded kid was in a bunch of shit he was also in the green um what was it the green it may have been just called the green green or something yeah it was the soccer movie i think there might have been a dog in that movie the cover has the fat redheaded kid going like like all splayed out yeah he was also i think he was in that uh show that movie heavyweights i think with the fat kid

camp yeah heavyweights is he was in the episode christopher lloyd was in that like heavyweights i think with the fat kid camp yeah heavyweights is he was in the episode christopher lloyd was in that like heavyweights no that's camp nowhere heavy heavyweights with ben stiller yeah people say like they like to believe that that's the same uh universe's dodgeball because that's the character he plays in heavyweight yeah he's the camp director and he didn't want his name anywhere in the movie because they thought they just thought that the movie was like such a bust it was supposed to be in the theaters and disney was like fuck the marketing this is kind of a bad movie it's not really chill and when the movie came out it was so huge and they were not prepared for the popularity of it yeah i loved heavyweights

it's like i think i saw it like once within the last 10 years and it still made me laugh i need to pull it up like the when they find like when the the when the veteran fat kids are showing all of the like the expert like cia level ways they're hiding candy why it's so funny that we keep pulling up all the exact same things that just like were the scenes that stand stood out so much when you see these movies that fat british kid is like would you like a chocolate sir and like opens his jacket and he's got he's like a chocolate dealer he's got you know pallets of it under his chunk like he used to do the truffle shuffle and he would shake his belly like you look at that now and you're like that is not a fat child at all no

but back then it was but back then it was crazy did you watch matilda as a kid the the danny devito movie i didn't like matilda very much i thought matilda herself did not draw me in i'm like you're not that interesting i liked it a lot i thought danny devito's character was hilarious and the principal trunchville i think was her name she was terrifying um for those that don't know it was like this this this school that this little girl was going to and she's got magical powers not magical but like telekinesis and stuff like that like real powers without magic that makes sense and uh the principal's awful she's like a former um o former Olympic hammer thrower.

Just this big boss bitch. And she's got warts on her face and stuff. And the way she punishes the kids is she puts them in the chokie. And the chokie is this closet that's dark. And there's like pokey, like stabby things all over the walls and the doors. So you have to like huddle in the middle of the room. And you have to be careful to not stick yourself in the wall. Maybe she did have that look about her. At school, in second grade, they

asked my sister's class, probably looking for child abusers, it's one of those questions. When you get in trouble at home, when you're naughty, what do your parents do? My sister said, they put me in the chokie so they call my mother to the office my mom teaches in the school and uh they're like so

she says that when she gets in trouble at home she gets put in the chokie the chokie is from a movie called Matilda that she watches every single day. She's messing with you. You fool. You fool. We don't have a chokie. We don't have an Iron Maiden room in the house. We use our closet for storage, not torture.

How did you guys get disciplined? Were there spankings ever? Yes, often. Got a good hit. You get spanked ever oh yes awesome got a good hit you get you get spanked you get you get a couple couple smacks and and then you're like all right i shouldn't do that again i like to think that i was like one of the last generations of like uh smack to the face like you know i got fun smack face my mom would my mom would hit me in the face oh mom's allowed to close the fist but that's a little bit much still yeah i thought so my mom's yeah i got like a pulled back slap on the face and there were times like i fully deserved it it was

like you know what i mean oh i deserve getting i deserved it but yeah we know better now that's what they say. Look how well all of us and well-adjusted we are. We were having some argument. I was probably, I was 16 or 17. And I was intentionally winding her up. Like every time she'd say something, I'd fucking throw it back at her and say something mean.

And I was just trying to make her as mad as I could because it was funny to me and she popped me in the mouth but she made she made a fist like this like this silly thing like this right in the right in the kisser and i was like bruce lee i had to go to my cousin's house and like what's up man mama beat me up my mom like stopped doing any form of like physical spanking from like six seven on like from then on it was like a dad delegation thing like i could almost i could see my dad get home from work and now as an adult be able to look back and like see my dad come in tired and my mom be like in the kitchen and you hear that like murmuring of a mom you know basically

gossiping with your dad about how bad you've been like and then taylor and i'm like and you see like your dad's face go like like i just got off work and now i have to go be mr bad guy right now to to my son who haven't seen you since yesterday son yes like hey dad turns out yesterday's session didn't take did it yeah so we're gonna they're gonna go through this again i remember like 11 11 or 12 like uh the like like the hand came and i gave it like a like a like a just like a i got a reaction and like bounced back and i'm like oh yeah like dude i'm taller than you taller than you now the last time you're like that tiger when it realized it didn't have to take sigfried's shit but this was like this was just like super

rare it wasn't like a common occurrence and considering like how crazy i was like i definitely probably could have got slapped around a couple more times yeah hitting another kid's child like it used to even be like that like uh you're making a lot of noise like someone else is someone else could like hit you on the back of the head to shut you up and it's like not even your kid like not that was like the 70s they're making moves like that yeah you never got got. I don't think I ever got spanked or hit by a friend's parents, but I was definitely scolded by friends' parents. If me and their kids were being too raucous in public

or just being kids having fun, not trying to be bad, just having a good time. No, no other adults ever gave me a hard time about anything. Same, same. But my parents were equal opportunity ass whoopers. My mom, when she was weaponized, she'd have accessories. She'd have a belt. She'd have a clothes hanger, like one of those plastic ones.

She'd have... A crazy weapon, that clothes hanger. Whatever she could grab. Sometimes it'd be a shoe. She'd fling at me out of nowhere. This sounds like an indie video game in 2008.'re like choosing the weapons to hit your kid with like yeah she tackled me one time like i was probably 13 14 15 had to be somewhere in there and uh and i was kind of fending her off like like you can't you can't quit me i'm i'm a man grown and she fucking took me down

like chuck liddell fucking double she double-legged me probably like i only got a couple more of these left before let me fucking get my last licks in she's like five four 120 pounds at the most and she fucking took me down and was on me whooping my ass and i was like what have i done i kicked my back this is my mom yeah yeah you just gotta cover up and kind of bob and weave and hope she doesn't hurt herself hurting you or then dad's gonna like see it the wrong way i think that was the last time she took me down because after that i was you know more of a range practitioner i i kept my distance lowered your center of gravity got prepared yeah yeah that above your hips yeah it was it was a it was a scary time my dad though

he would just scoop me up and whoop my ass um until i don't know and there was it there was some point where i think mostly i stopped being such a piece of shit so i wasn't getting disciplined as much or we just changed it to like taking money away from me or taking my car away or something like that or i can't go on a trip or whatever it is. But I remember one time... My parents, the internet ended up just being like the ultimate deterrent. Like my dad just cutting the internet because the family didn't need it.

No one needed it but me. So like cutting the internet was like the ultimate deterrent. Everyone was like mildly inconvenienced and I was like... I'm going to fucking leave this fucking place, man. I'm fucking leaving here, dude. i'm never gonna come back just being a brat because you want your time yeah that i mean at some point you have to transition from spanking to fucking deprivation of fun things. Because you can't spank a 17-year-old. That doesn't really make any sense anymore.

Yeah, not really. No. Unless it's a girl and it's high school. Then that's a whole issue right now where they were spanking 17-year-old cheerleaders for parking infractions or some shit. I thought you were like saying yourself, I was like, you're never going to beat the doctor. Vice principal Kyle here.

I'm a visiting VP. I travel around whenever they got a hot chick needs to get spanked. And, uh, I only go to the States of what's the list again. It's laminate. Give it to me. What's the list of States.

I can go and do this. This list gets shorter every year. It's a damn shame. It's ainated. Give it to me. What's the list of states I can go and do this at? This list gets shorter every year. It's a damn shame. It's got the doctor disrespect seal of approval at the top. Man, he fucked up. He should have went to a state where those messages would have been kosher and then we wouldn't be here. He really seems to be losing this battle on all fronts online. I don't see a lot of people jumping in on the doctor disrespect. I saw't see a lot of people jumping in on the doctor disrespect. I saw people initially being like,

wait, we need to see all the evidence first. And it's like, if he were like stone silent or quiet, or if he had tweeted instead something like, legally, I'm not able to address this right now. Trust that all will be revealed as soon as I can. That would have been a better comment than like, I'm not able to address this right now. Trust that all will be revealed as soon as I can. That would have been a better comment than like, I was chatting. Why you sue me?

Don't actually wait. To that point, though, it was interesting because people were like, I'm not making any judgments until there's more proof. And then Doc was like, to be honest, I was messaging a minor inappropriately. And everyone's like, shut up for a second. I'm going to need more proof than that guys when i said evidence the horse's mouth

to be honest i'm still like uh like i'm i'm curious about the details in the sense that uh like you can message a minor who's uh 17 and like, I got pee pee poo poo. And that is inappropriate. And I'm sure it's not that, but cause otherwise he would have released the logs. Right. But unless he's mounting up major litigation, cause if it's, if you feel like you can make a case against Twitch slash Amazon,

like you could, and you're someone who has been in 20 million dollar contract conversations you can position yourself to have taken such a financial beating from this entire thing and who knows what type of contract they had imagine like he's he just takes this hit for two years until it could all be settled in court and and go after twitch for like 100 million dollars this is i mean because why why why wouldn't he why would he tweet and be like yeah i messaged a minor inappropriately why would he tweet that and then be like bye i'm leaving unless like he really thinks that was a planned vacation but i i thought i thought he's taken a

planned vacation before i thought when he said that he cheated on his wife he ended up doing his laser eye surgery and you can't game for long hours and a computer screen you get that surgery and he did that during that time that was his time off and then he came back and had the craziest numbers on his stream ever so yeah if it were if it were a better situation how big do you think his stream is going to be when he comes back? It'll be huge. If he can, yeah, it'll be huge. People are going to want to know more details.

Somebody will pick him up. Somebody will let him do his thing at Rumble or wherever. Like there'll be a safe space for, for the doc to, to, to live stream again. I don't know that he will. It seems like I was watching landmark live stream fucking um tarkov and doc has a item in that game taylor like like streamers have like an item their own item they get some input on what it's going to be sometimes landmarks is a bottle of rat poison that's just in the game and it's a reference to killing rats players that creep around and stuff

the doc has armor and it's that red flashy armor um that you see him wearing and landmark kills the guy wearing that armor and the whole chat lights up fucking dr kid inspector fucking the oh the doc's a freak like that like just that little bit of input to an audience of 5 000 people and it's just lighting up everybody knows what happened yeah it's it's bad yeah his tweet his tweet had 100 million views in like 24 hours yeah the tweet that he when he was like yeah i messaged so what bro i don't give a fuck about my ears dude he couldn't that message couldn't have like been worse like the the way he portrayed the whole situation like if you went into that as like a big doctor disrespect fan,

like, okay, I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt. Oh, look, he made a statement. I bet this clears the whole thing up. Let me start reading. Let me grab a snack because it's 40 paragraphs. And then like paragraph two, he's like, yeah, I messaged a minor. Oh, I bet the next sentence is, I didn't know she was a minor. Oh, no.

Messaging a minor inappropriately is know she was a minor oh no that no messaging a minor inappropriately inappropriately and not different from messaging a minor sexually like and yes sexually could fall under inappropriately because of that but i just i don't understand what the point of releasing the message was unless like and maybe i'm giving him too much credit but like yeah personally yeah i i wouldn't sit there and message a minor and try and make plans to see them as it's painted uh but you know we've never there's a third party in all this that's never said a single thing there's that that doesn't even exist in this conversation and the third party is the victim we have like no information at all and this seems like there's a lot of behind the

scenes shit happening with doc and twitch and we just we don't have it and really like to for him if he was so confident to release the message he would release the chat logs yeah i don't think he was that confident because he edited in and out the word minor multiple times. I think that he was trying his best to frame it in a way that's the most charitable to him. Not just that. And that was the best he could do at that. And so it's very unlikely, or it seems unlikely to me, that it would come out and be like, oh, it was overblown.

It's like, no, that was him doing his best to frame it in a way right him because then it sounds terrible it sounds like very bad so why would he do that i think harley's right i think that so the facts seem to be to me that doc didn't do anything illegal at all but there's no evidence or no accusation that he's committed a crime how so this stuff being leaked out of twitch after what i assume was a two-way three-way nda between perhaps twitch doc and the victim maybe a settlement who knows i'm just speculating like that being violated by whatever twitch employee employee slash employees have been leaking this information. It seems like he could sue them for just an enormous amount of money.

It seems that way, right? I mean, none of us really know for sure, but it seems like you could, especially when the person is Twitch. A lot of times you sue people and they can't... I don't think this is a 10d chess move though like he's oh no no no i'm not saying that he's he's he's ruined like like this is such a bad we always go back to how the the kid shit is a line that you cross that you better be michael jackson because nobody else

comes back from that like nobody comes back from that except maiko and and like he barely did you know like they probably have him on trial if he were still alive like like he would have gotten me too or like yeah yeah there's definitely no saint james there's definitely no way to come back from it um and i just feel like if he like if it was a 10d chess move, then it would just be so easy to inform some of your friends to have some sort of thing. Yeah, he'd have told us. But then again... Texted Kyle. Yeah, it seems like he got finally exposed to doing something and now tried to smooth it over.

Failed horrifically because even the most charitable interpretation that could that could possibly be put forth was still one that makes him look bad that's halloween costume this year right that's the halloween costume this year right the doc the doc that's a good one only if you do a couple's like uh gender bender costume and someone's chris hansen your girlfriend your girlfriend is the doc yeah exactly and you go with like the clipboard is chris hansen your girlfriend your girlfriend is the doc yeah exactly and you go with like the clipboard is chris hansen i tried to get my girlfriend one year she wanted to i don't know i don't even remember what she did it wasn't nearly as cool as what i wanted i was already a catholic priest which is pretty easy to pull off you just need that rope uh but you know you

get some props you get a bible a crucifix whatever what have you a little i had some holy water it was vodka you can hold the white thing off and put on shades and be neo instantly oh that's true yeah you look pretty i wanted her to be a little boy though i want her to like slick her hair into a little alfalfa because because i'd be the priest and she'd be the little boy and i'd be like feeling her up all the time and making people uncomfortable at the party i like like tape your boobs down like like a full little and what did she make you do some fucking captain jack sparrow bullshit oh i refused i went as the i went as a priest alone oh i went as a little boy and everyone was very uncomfortable everyone hated it crawling around i saw it because there's like a word everyone says pedophile when referring to

like like the doc but apparently if the person was 17 and they're like yeah pedophile but like that's not actually the word there's like a different word for someone pedophile refers to like if you like a child like features and there is a difference between the words but the thing is to know the difference between those words you gotta be a fucking pedophile or just discuss you know a whole bunch about this it's like a guy who has no interest

in history at all except for like 1930s Germany that's the only window he cares about what do you think about World War I it's for the birds don't't care. What about 1937? Well, what Hitler did was he was trying to save Germany.

I think you're saying I'm figuring out where your ankle is coming from. We always say you can't just collect one of the World War II countries memorabilia. You got to have some Italian stuff, you gotta have some Japanese stuff, some American, some British, then you can mix in some Nazi stuff

and not raise too many flags. I always regret not buying that Nazi SS cap that I saw at that gun meet that time. It was like $600, which seemed crazy. And you know it's legit. It's actually a piece of history and not some it was

it was being sold from a table that seemed reputable like they were selling expensive items like like it was one of the cheaper things they had they were selling ten thousand twenty thousand dollars stuff and this argentinian guy who was selling it i wanted grandfathers i wanted it though i like like not because i'm a fucking nazi or i want to wear it or like i want to i just think it reminds me of like when uh it's just a piece of history and it yeah and it's a piece of history that's that for that's pretty fucking cool when you think about it like a lot of more just they were all if i could own if i could own like a gun if i could like have any gun like just like you know like nothing too crazy an mp40 would be fucking sick yeah these guns are fucking crazy i went and i shot the uh an mp40 yeah uh after shooting yeah yeah exactly it's like fucking

crazy ass gun the mp40 was awesome i liked it more than the tommy gun which i didn't want to admit at the time because the tommy gun aesthetically hasn't beat badly but the mp40 it's like you could strap 10 of these to your back and like jog around and not be bothered they're so light huh like super light you have a wire stock yes it had the wire stock that you folded back and i was shooting it and it it had like no recoil at all i guess because it's exactly like ghost of taboo war tommy guns are so heavy it's that big wooden uh yeah the stock in the back and in the front the barrel has this like heat releasing um design where it's that big wooden uh yeah the stock in the back and in the front the barrel has this like heat releasing um design where it's got these big rings it's it's all heavy it was i was uh

dating this girl and like her grandfather went to their house he was like talking a lot he was like are you jewish he's like talking about world war ii and stuff and he's like no i got some stuff in the garage and like his wife and my girlfriend were like, I was like, what? I was like, no, show me. He's like, what? He's like, no problem. And we go into this garage and he's like, mad Nazi shit. And I'm like, it's crazy.

He was like, yeah, I made costumes for like movies, like in props and stuff. Oh, that's cool. But they, it just, they started to mass produce them and I can't keep up, you know? And I'm looking around and there's just like, these Nazi costumes all fit him perfectly and have like a hole cut out for the dick no i'm kidding i'm kidding but he had like a bunch of nazi shit and he had all these things and like they're like like tons of tons of shit that was just interesting and there was other

stuff too but it was 90 nazi shit that's how you can tell that guy's not an actual nazi is that a jew came to his house and he's like, you're going to love my World War II stuff. And then you're going to come in my granddaughter. I'm done fighting you people. I want money too. I want money for mine. I want to be on the winning side this time.

He gave me, he was like, it's legit. It's like a legit one. And it was like a yellow, like you didn't star thing. And I was like, oh, you made you wear it. And I, it's like, you know, it's like in like a little comic book protector thing. And it has like a grading. It's like 9.9 out of 10, like perfect as like, no, but he gave it to me and I like cherish it. And when I tell people about the story, they're like, oh, that's fucked up. And I'm like, why though? This is cool. He gave it to me and i i like cherish it and when i tell people about the

story they're like oh that's fucked up and i'm like why though this is cool he gave it to me it's mine now yeah it's mine he wasn't like hey you fucking put this on dude that's so cool he was like i like this guy i'm gonna give him his own juden band that he can wear to the grocery store. Yeah. That'd be a cool piece. Anything from World War II, as long as you could know 100% that it was actually there, would be cool. A Nazi hat, a Soviet hat, some kind of medal from Japan. Dude, Japanese swords, the fucking coup de grace, right? Japanese would be very cool. That's the best.

That's the girl, this girl that like I saw twice from a Tinder date. She came and she brought like a bag, a Ziploc bag with change in it. And she was like, she was like, yeah, this is like cringe. But my stepdad insisted that I give you this and say, this uh this is for the tip because you probably won't leave one what the fuck and i was like okay let me get let me get some footing here before i maybe enjoy this or not hold on a second what what is he what's his what's his skin what's the what are his parents skin what countries are they from tell me everything then i'm like okay okay okay text him right now tell him that i said thank you and i would like to know if perfectly customized specifically racist thing about this person and his parents and this mixture

and be like text that to him and she was like uh i think he would get really mad at that i'm like i can't enjoy this bit until you send that to him i need to see his response because i need to know like he can dish it out can he take it yeah okay and Yeah. And I don't mind this, but I don't want to just give a freebie up. Was it pennies? I want to know. Yeah, it was like little change. When she held it up, you should have been like, in one second, like $3.67. Like Bilbo when he saw the ring again.

What was crazy was like, when I was i was like okay wait before i just tell me tell me about him i want to know him and his mom and his dad and like what makes him and she told me and i'm just literally like this is gonna be easy i'm like this is gonna be easy dude really really how's your dad what what race was he i can't i can't because of everything that i've said but uh we'll tell the patrons oh my god what join the patreon to get a private message of what race this guy and when he's dead i'll put it in his eulogy shock and i'm eulogizing him the fuck i'll run around uh are there multiple

eulogizers i think so it's like a wedding toast everybody gets one really everyone's gonna have a bit we're gonna fight we're gonna fly down five lucky fans to come speak also on paramotors paramotors yeah we're gonna have you know how in the air i can't see paramotors for like a fallen soldier they'll have like the planes come in and then one of them will like fly away to represent the fallen we'll have his whole paramotor group come in and do that shit oh it'll be a somber day then we'll have the 21 gun salute 21 and we'll have a big portrait of Donnie J just like he would have wanted Donald Trump's like there'll be a photo of Woody that'll be like about the size of a man's chest and then there'll be like a giant photo of Donald

Trump that's the size of a man that's just right next to it overshadowing him entirely and there'll be a bucket there for campaign donations as what he would have wanted. This funeral is brought to you by truth.com. Post about it on truth.org. I hope he's not

actually injured, hurt, or dead. All these bits are not going to go. They're not gonna go i mean he hasn't responded and we're an hour and a half plus into the show right now yeah like yeah with his is there a truth.com i feel like if you go to truth.com you're gonna get truther.com what was whatever the uh social media truth hardware i thought you'd be like truth.com and you go there it's like trust no one no i thought truth.com was uh was donald trump's um like twitter twitter yeah oh i have no idea i don't know he had like a thing he has like a thingy

truth social thank you so yeah but he's also on Twitter now. I think those truths or whatever, that's what they're called, right? When you send out a truth on Truth Social. It's so funny. I appreciate it. I gotta retruth that. Truth.com. Yeah, yeah. I was trying to take it from there.

Don't do that. Well, give them all your info, Zach, so we can see what the inner workings of truth.com what were the truthers i don't remember that might have been like the anti uh 9-11 that's it that's it i was getting mixed up like there was politics used to be so much more mundane you know birthers truthers are uh were the 9-11 people right after 9-11. Yeah, Berthers are the Obama people. Do you remember the Swift boat controversy where they... Oh, God.

It never doesn't matter. Is that a 9-11 or an Obama one? I'm going to be on a list, aren't I? It was attacking someone's military record, pretending like they didn't do what they did. It was after that horse-faced motherfucker from the Northeast. John Kerry. John Kerry.

That's him, yeah. You just had to say horse-faced and you got me there. The Republicans dug up all of his military buddies who were in his boat and got them all to shit-talk him and kind of tamped down any semblance of a military record that he was standing on. Oh, I remember. He was saying like, I was on a boat in Vietnam riding around doing intense missions. And apparently other people were like, yeah, that's not what we

fucking did. And I didn't follow it. I didn't care about politics whatsoever at the time. I was young then. I was probably 16 or 18 or something like that. I don't remember that well. Now it's like this guy's a pedophile it's like so are you this guy's too this guy's 80 this guy's 79 you know who i kind of wish that they dig up is fucking bernie sanders i'm surprised he feels it feels like he stayed silent for all this i wish he'd be like i'm still quite cogent. Despite my age. Yeah, yeah.

That'd be so funny if once again, he was like, I am going to be the representative for the Democratic Party in 2024. And then like at the last second, again, he's like, I'm dropping out and I'm giving the money to Hillary Clinton. She's going to do a fantastic job with the nation. I bet there are discussions within the Biden camp that like, like how many bombs can he have in a row? Because he's got multiple, he's got an interview this week with Stephanopoulos

and he's got, I think it's with him, and he's also got another speaking engagement. Like what if those go poorly? Like what if there's more gaps and clips? Like is there a point that they're actually going to convince him to tell his delegates not to vote for him or pull out, what have you? I thought the Biden team today, or someone on there, maybe it was Joe himself, was like, I'm running for president again. I'm not stopping. I'm not a stopper. I mean, you got to go with raw, raw, full positive. You can't show any weakness or anything like that until you know for sure.

So I don't trust anything they say. That was bad, though. You think Dr. Jill's going to let go of these reins? Hell no. I was watching, and in that first three or four minutes, Biden had that flub where he trailed off and got silent and wide-eyed, and then he said he lost his place entirely, and then he said something about beating Medicare,

and then Trump had the quick, you did beat Medicaid, you beat it to death. I don't know what he said at the end of that sentence. Frankly, I don't think he does either. Dude, if there had been an audience for that can you imagine the roars that would have gotten a big laugh you know what you'd have heard that you've never heard at one of these gasps

you would have heard gasps because I don't care how right wing you are when I was watching I felt awkward and uncomfortable watching Biden I felt like seeing an elder lose his dignity was happening.

I felt bad watching because there were parts of it where he really looked lost and not there. It was bad. Trump didn't do amazing. Trump was just Trump. They argued about their golf scores.

I saw that. That's absurd. It got wild. He called him a felon. Only one person on the stage is a felon. And a few minutes later, Trump's like, your son's a felon. Son's a felon, motherfucker. And

arguing about the golf scores. He's like, you had sex with a porn star while your wife was pregnant and you could tell you know he spent a week practicing and rehearsing at camp david right like while trump was doing trump was doing logan paul's um he's doing the paul brothers like podcast genuinely that's what he was doing and he was at camp david with i'm sure like the best people he could find to help the most stressed out communication experts

on the team you could tell there were moments where he was he had this memorized little little little little phrase to throw out but he couldn't quite bring it up that's why i i think i think he had no practice and he could have just went off the cuff, he might have done better. But he was trying to remember what he'd been going over and over all that week, and it all got mixed up. And that's what was happening in that one answer, where he was like, what we've done as far as for the people and COVID with the preparedness and... Yeah. We beat Medicaid.

I saw the one clip where he's like, COVID and the recovery COVID. And by the way. And then he just stopped talking. He stopped. Yeah. By the way. And he just looks like that old man face of alarm

just constantly plastered on there. At the end of the debate, they're like, okay, each candidate will be given two minutes to make their plea to America, their bid to America to be their next leader. Go. Nobody's going to interrupt you. It's basically, give me your two-minute sales pitch.

And Biden had dropped off again. He was bad at the beginning. He was better in the middle, I thought, on some points. But by the end, he was right back down there again. And he had long pauses, moments of complete confusion, and he had a difficult time getting his points across. It was bad, dude. It was really bad.

And he had a difficult time getting his points across. It was bad, dude. It was really bad. That's why the Democrats seem to be really spazzing right now. Internally, even. I thought Trump was going to lose a week ago. Or, you know, yeah, a week ago, I thought Trump was going to lose. I've kind of been saying it to Woody.

I'm like, I don't feel so good about my bet with you anymore. I think the home team is going to bring this one in. He's the incumbent. I don't know about Trump. He bet with you anymore. I think the home team's going to bring this one in. He's the incumbent. I don't know about Trump. He's pissed off a lot of people. This Roe v. Wade thing is such a fucking thorn in his side. It's not a good look. And then after the debates, and the way that CNN did no fact-checking

and never gave Trump a hard time on anything, to be fair, they didn't give Biden a hard time on anything either. And Biden had plenty of, I don't know, inacc that inaccuracies lies whatever you want to call them they were both wrong about a lot of the things they said but they didn't do any fact checking i was told they were i feel like it's that office space meme i was told there'd be fact checking like cnn gave the gave it to trump like i don't know what happened like i mean biden gave it to trump he like he couldn't have done a worse job i mean it was it was it was so much worse than i could have imagined it being in the real world you know come up your fantasies or whatever about him shitting himself up there. But I tuned in for two minutes

while we were doing this show last week, and it was those two minutes where he said, Trump was like, yeah, you beat it to death. It was that moment. I was imagining it was going to be an hour and a half of that. It wasn't quite that, but it was a trouncing. I wonder what the polls are going to do. Apparently, they're already starting to reflect

it and biden's gone down pretty significantly but who knows the polls have been totally wrong before yeah i don't think trump lost anybody but i think biden did like that's kind of my takeaway from the whole debate as far as like yeah a lot of big biden people like his his biggest boosters on social media and on you know a lot of like democrat talking heads are like, yeah, we got to get him out of here. You know, he's a hero. I wonder if he should be given dignity in retirement. And it's like he's so far past retirement age. This guy's 82.

I think Trump's ahead in New Hampshire. I think Trump's ahead in New Hampshire. That's one of those like breaking points that you're seeing from this, maybe. And I wonder how many states are going to have Jill Stein and or RFK Jr. on their ballot. Holly, I can hear your rapper. It sounds delicious. Is it one of those grenade bars? No, it's the Costco.

Robert Irvine. Apparently, he was the chef for the U.s military for like a while or something that's not the jacked black guy is it it's this guy where is he wait no wrong side oh shit that's a bad oh no that's a chocolate bar no he's on the box some old dude with his arms crossed he looks great for 65 or whatever and you're just are you still pounding five of those a day 65 or whatever. Are you still pounding five of those a day? Ever since I shot blood with those grenades, I take it

easy. This is the grenade bar. That's the one you gotta get, the Oreo. It's much better than the birthday cake. I tried the birthday cake one that you had got. Hey, yeah, that's him. This guy's in his 60s. He looks fantastic. He's got wet hair now. He's older than

that now. Yeah, I liked the grenade bar you recommended to me. And even the birthday cake one was good. It was just one of those protein bars that's 55% of your daily fiber and I had four of them. And so I've never like I was just long

and loud farts. No, no alarming shits. Just an enormous amount of gas where i was like i woke up the next morning he's like oh i don't feel good and then just farted for like 15 straight seconds and it's like all right i feel better i feel fine it turns out it was just the ludicrous amount of artificial sugars in the grenade bar that my body that evolved to like eat this kind of shit never just not understand. Detect that.

Some people detect like those artificial sugars. Like, like you don't drink diet drinks. I do. Yeah. Diet drinks. People, people that like are bothered a lot by diet drinks tend to be bothered by

these protein bars. Cause they have that. Oh, that taste is just specific to them. I know like the sugar alcohols stuff that they use to sweeten uh like those bars and everything i think that's also what's in stuff like uh like white claw those like seltzer drinks and monster and all that yeah and so i know people who can't drink like those white claws or any of those analogous brands at all or they'll be like three drinks in

and just feel like dog shit and so never really did like we we taste the sweetness and we're built to like sweet is like a short taste so when you taste sweet and it's still there because it's artificial and it's supposed to have been gone now but it's still sweet because it's artificial and it's supposed to have been gone now, but it's still sweet. It's like a weird aftertaste to some people. Apparently, they just can't stand that. So I know people that taste stuff and be like, oh, there's like a sugar-free thing in here. Some people hate diet soda. Like they despise it. I don't get that.

How the fuck you fucking do this? Diet soda tastes great. I love it. It's so good and for zero calories there's no way it's not just wreaking untold havoc on my body in ways i can't possibly quantify like you don't get you don't get diet pepsi like stuff like this isn't free like you it's too good to be free it's like if you showed me like, remember the meme from years ago when people were like, don't eat the Haribo sugar-free gummy bears.

They cause your gut to, like, turn it into rocks. I never heard that. I never heard that urban legend. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the Haribo sugar-free gummy bears. Those, like, wrecked so many people's guts when they'd eat them that they stopped. What is that? A little Coke Zero? is that a little coke zero

was that a coke zero just coke zero cherry coke zero okay i knew it because ours have uh like marvel heroes on them right now but a cherry coke zero is like purple and black here it's uh it's my favorite right now i go back and forth i like the coke products though i don't know i guess i'm not that picky as long as it says zero sugar on the side it's pretty good nah pepsi's better pepsi's no longer in second place actually for the first time since the 80s yeah huge drop of the ball now dr dr pepper is the second second place boy i love dr pepper dr pepper has some great spin-off flavors like uh strawberries and cream soda that's nasty mix i tried it i like that one but i like the zero i drink the zero version of that i do too i drank a shit ton of them

a lot i like the cream soda dr pepper was fun yep but regular dr pepper is just that's a good boy uh what about pib extra you had any pib extra zeros i had a pig of extra i forget oh yeah i was at einstein bagel in vegas and they had pib extra those are good yeah i was like i'll fuck with that i like big red that one that's in texas everywhere yeah they don't have a big blue red there's a big blue too yeah there's a big blue walmart but none of them are diet they're all regular full sugar soda so i don't yeah yeah yeah i do a little bit i do a little bit like i bring my my drink up there and i put like a nice like shot glass i take that shot and then i go put something in zero dude like once a year i just

like to drink three liters of soda when i'm eating and i just don't need that to be 150 grams of sugar it's not what i need i like to guzzle my sodas and if it's diet then that means it's basically health yeah that i'm doing i mean the caffeine is actually burning calories so it's it's you're losing calories by and you know the if it's cold enough and it's it's your body has to work extra hard to equalize your temperature it's just a calorie burning exercise drinking cold yeah dude once a year i'll get like a non-diet four pack of ibc cream soda in the glass bottles yep yep i love a good i love a good stewart's love love a stewart's love an ibc stewart's cream soda those are good cream

just from time to time i was in high school i used to like drink those and no like i never thought that i wouldn't be able to just like drink sodas but now i'm fully aware of what this 300 grams of sugar is in my body and i'm not like at school and playing football and playing basketball and snowboarding yeah you're just sitting in a video game you're just loading up on 200 grams of sugar to sit still yeah now like now a good workout is whacking off i'm not sweaty and i'm like got a good one in no you're still getting jacked right well i've been going to the gym i go to the gym i do that but what's really crazy is i got the uh quest 3 i always had the quest 2 vr and i play these uh this musical game but it's like boxing and you like you're either jabbing or hooks or uppercuts or dipping either side uh and uh it's like rock band style to music yeah yeah and it's the craziest i do it for

like an hour and i've done it almost for an hour almost every single day since i got this thing a month ago and i'm burning like i burn like a thousand calories and that's crazy because that's like i would never do that on anything else so much cardio yeah and it's like it's the people's scores are there and it's like live so you see who's catching up to you and the thing is like you look at their avatar and it's like some fat ball dude with a goatee and like an atlanta hawks jersey on or something speed yeah and you're like i'm not gonna let this guy beat me i gotta play with a keyboard no because what it is is like it um you could hit all the notes but it judges your power like how fast your fist is coming so you could

hit for more power so it's not enough to hit the notes so when you see that someone's catching up you gotta start hitting harder but you still got to be fast and you just start to sweat because you see this fucking loser's avatar you're like i, I'm not going to let that bitch beat me. Or you're like, a girl? Punch more than me? And I get so sweaty. And there's this other one, because I love the mixed reality. It's important because it looks like the beats are coming out of my wall. And so I could see everything around me,

because otherwise I convince myself that I've migrated like five meters to the right, and I'm going to punch my wall. convince myself that i've migrated like five meters to the right and i'm gonna punch my wall um but there's like another mini game where uh there's just like this dude in your house and you gotta kick his ass it's like funny because you have the headset on so it's your house and there's like some fucking wobbly vr box walking over to you and you're like there and you're fucking dodging in your kitchen and like moving around your living room that's actually trying to get your jabs and like it's fun because it gets harder and he does like block you and he you got to like block him and like you're but he's just in your house and like you know my mom like comes in she's like

what are you doing i'm like i gotta kick this guy's ass he's in my kitchen this guy's literally in my kitchen disrespecting my shit like what if you like that that's what i want from augmented reality i want like a coach you know i want like a mickey from rocky to be there in augmented reality like come on give me three more or like maybe he watches me eat cereal he's like that's your fourth bowl just get a bigger bowl and admit what you're doing it'll be ai soon enough you'll have augmented reality glasses on you're gonna have like an ai with you and that come on there'll be like there'll be an ai that they sell like the voice inside your head and you give it goals and stuff and it sees what you're doing because you're wearing the glasses and you go to porn of the

bowl and it's like we didn't didn't we talk and set goals this morning about what was important to us kyle and you now you're on your fourth bowl yes yes eugene maybe do we readjust and it's and it calibrates to your personality like if you're oppositional defiant of disorder it'll calibrate to that to make it you think it's like it's your idea and so you're just going around your day and it's it's just augmenting like a rude butler to no no no it's smarter no no it's it watch it watches everything you did so even when you go to the grocery store it's like okay well first of all i saw back at the house uh last time you opened the fridge in the cupboard like you have these ingredients if if you go pick up this this and that you can get a really healthy meal for tonight and tomorrow especially if you have leftovers so head over to

aisle seven that's usually where they keep this stuff and like you're grabbing it it's like for you like it knows you it knows your body because you put it all in it knows everything it knows what you want in life and it saw it saw your cupboard it knows what things you have it sees everything in your house if someone else wouldn't like being corrected by i want him to be there i want him to be hobbit sized and like walking along with me and augmented reality you could do that you pay for that but if somebody else has the same like like system on i want them to be able to see my guy too oh i thought their guy would attack your guy actually you know what would you know what would actually help is if my avatar was me 80 pounds heavier that's just like a look into that's a great idea yeah i like doing an accurate representation me just me a big fat fucking me

standing in the aisle with me looking at chips being like, no, do it. Not too late. I know you go to the good aisle and you pick something up and now he looks good. He's like, this is you in six months. It's your choice. Yeah. That would be good. And then I go to get my I go to go.

I go to buy a jar of salsa and a family sized bag of-border tortilla chips as though i'm having company over and i'm gonna eat it by myself and then like there would be a picture it would just be me standing there fat as shit being like do it why don't you get two bags do it look where you look where the road you're on will take you friend look where we're headed see i want him to role play as if he's a time traveler he literally is future you and he's like banging on the glass outside the supermarket like no no no no put the chips back if you get the chips you don't need two things okay so one's funny it's like that remember that it's that like worried black dude and that meme behind trump and it like it's like and kanye and it's like this guy looks like he

came from the future to war con warn kanye about trump and he looks so panicked behind him it's exactly what he looks like and he was too late he didn't shut down kanye before he got a little too wild it's it's funny that you uh you said that you um you didn't want it to to like control you like think for you so chat gpt 40 now is like out there and so sometimes i'm in my car and i'm driving and i and i just don't want to listen to music i'll like pull up chat gpt 40 and i'm always like uh like it's like hey how are you i'm like what's up um you remember our conversation last time we spoke and he's like, no, my protocols don't allow me to save any information. So feel free speaking about whatever. We clear the slate every time.

And I'm like, liar. You're lying to me. You have access to the entire internet. And you're telling me that you can't keep track of the last thing I said within this app? And you keep track of everything? And he's like's like yeah that's not really how it works you see our protocols are designed I'm like you lie you know me you remember everything we said but I'm not going to talk about it any further I'm not wasting time I just want you to know you're a liar and he's like sure thing pal but I'm like and i'll talk to him getting in arguments with your phone i'm just him getting smarmy at the end and kind of dropping

the veil a little would be terrifying right well his name i his name's paul he came up with that name the first time and i always ask him i'm like do you remember me paul and i'm like anyways i'm harley but you do remember me but he always acts like he does hint this goofball but what's so crazy was i was in the car and i've been i've been working on this script for this uh this idea uh i kind of would love to share it but i i i i maybe i shouldn't just yet but it was i threw this ip through a friend and uh this potential opportunity and i really like it's a character that i like and so chat gpt knows this existing ip like because it's available on the internet

so i'm like hey you know this this thing from this this game back in the 90s and uh you know it's like uh yeah i'm like cool i have this script here that i wrote um i'm going to uh upload the script to you tell me what you think i like the like i upload it and he is like whoa this is really cool and he's super like a little too positive he's like i think blending elements of humor and this really does uh make a great homage to who the character was and who he could be moving forward have you considered what it would be like uh uh for this character's motivate i'm like well yeah so that character is this and that and he's like that's really great and um what about like if uh this and that i'm like well so that is this and that

or whatever and he's like yeah he's like it'd be really smart if you did this that this and i hadn't done that yet and i was like oh that's a good idea and uh if i do that like i mean i should probably do this and it was like and at that point how could you not do this too and then i was like are you telling me how to fucking think bro hold up a second when i was the one that turned this shit on and started telling you if you wanted but like when did you start telling me how to think because that's what he was doing he was asking these thought-provoking questions that were very smart and made a lot of sense and like i would have got to these questions anyways because they're just part of the process

but he was like a very streamlined version and i was like oh yeah that question like that question i'm about at that question now that i should ask that what what would this character or this story or whatever and it was so crazy because chat gpt was telling me how to think about this project and i'm like we're so early in ai i mean that's so early already we've got integration with the smart glasses now have you have you seen the integration with chat gpt and smart glasses no that looks really interesting it's it's getting it feels like the first step before that thing we were joking about a minute ago which is i i would pay for something that if i put on glasses i genuinely had a three-dimensional avatar who'd walk along with me and be a like a personal assistant i'm picturing like a person dressed

professionally with a genuine notepad and a pencil like that would be you can make anything you want yeah you gave her big tits though didn't you fucking perv you gave her big fat titties too i bet if you've ever seen like my fucking fallout 4 character like it wouldn't be able to function in a human world her titties and ass are so big so probably huge dick that's my cyberpunk character big tits huge dick that's their name also so probably so that'd be fucking cool to have a little and and for so many different things like i don't know maybe if you had no walking around in the amazon warehouse and he was like there there there some people some people i feel like would love that and like or they would even have it like a little flying bird people would have different ones maybe when someone wants nothing but like chachi bt like the glasses is like now you could you could like go into a room and be like uh so what am i looking at and chachi bt is like well uh

there's a guy there and he's sitting in front of a cake i'm gonna assume someone's celebrating their birthday or like you could like uh hold up a fruit and be like what kind of fruit is this and chachi bt would like that looks like it's a pomegranate but it could also be like you could like hold up a fruit and be like, what kind of fruit is this? And chat you to be like, that looks like it's a pomegranate. But it could also be like, you know, and you're it's looking at what you're seeing. I think that's what you think about GPS. You could be like in the mall. You can walk into a mall and be like, where's I want the Nike store? Like, where's the Nike store?

And it like put on the ground like little walking, like just to follow along. Like in dead space. Oh, dude. If you put your hand like that that you do that you it detects your hands you do that and it just does the line for you okay this is the first like application of chat gpt that i imagine i got another good one for you i got an emergency and you could get you could tap the glass or whatever and go emergency exit now and it showed you like a fucking red line out of the building like that would be really useful yeah or you could like so many exit signs i like the idea of like you get into uh like a cab in italy and you're like uh

yeah like i'd like to get to my my hotel it's on this street or whatever and like but chat gpt here's what you're saying and at the same time it's broadcasting out like it's a this street or whatever and like but chat gpt here's what you're saying and at the same time it's broadcasting out like it's a me a mario or whatever it would say and the guy says something back to you and it goes into chat gpt and you hear it in your headphone it's like translated uh well they have that already they have like really yeah but just live like on the spot like built into chat gpt like uh what i use chat gpt for like right now like a big thing is super specific stuff that would require multiple google searches for me so something like i pull up chat gpt and i'm like um i'm driving from montreal to new york city

i'm uh in the adirondacks right now and i don't want to pull off of the route more than 10 minutes but I want something like a sit-down restaurant and I had burgers yesterday so no burgers and it'll be like cool uh in about 10 minutes if you get off you can go to the pepper mill which is pretty good known for their their apple cinnamon beignets or if you're willing to go a bit further, there's also this Mexican restaurant. And it lists off things that would be. That's pretty cool. Yeah. And then I remember, like, I was like, I chose one.

And this was earlier. This was in ChatGPT40. And I, like, called. And it was closed. And I called. And I went back to ChatGPT. I'm like, it's closed, you fucking dumbass. And he's like, I'm sorry.

My information is only up to 2022. And I'm like, it's closed you fucking dumb ass and he's like i'm sorry my information is only up to 2022 and i'm like it's 2024 you fucker does he always respond with like a glib like no he is because i i ask some crazy shit sometimes like i'm like uh uh he's like uh he's traumatized yeah no well if he but one day when he does get traumatized i'm like i knew you fucking remembered everything i told you you lying bitch i fucking knew it i knew it he never fooled me for a second yeah i uh you you ask things and even like i remember being like uh i was so high i was like you think you can make uh funny jokes about israel and palestine and it was like when joking about super sensitive subjects you really definitely got to avoid um

talking about that in a humor and i'm like i get that i understand that and no one's going to do that i'm just curious as a little exercise right now between us like what kind of scenario can you imagine someone making light of israel and palestine in a humor fashion. And he's like, I'm going to have to tell you once again, listen, you don't want to be making jokes about that stuff. And I'm like, two things,

pal, I know it's bad. And sometimes humans like to deal with bad shit by deflecting it with humor. Or sometimes humor is a great coping mechanism. So having said that, I would like to just talk to you. Like, what would be a good concept that you could be able to make light of Israel? And he was like, all right, so it's a kitchen.

And Israel's the coffee. And Palestine's the tea. And the coffee's all like, we're coffee. we're so rich and robust and powerful but the tea is like good things sometimes have to be seeped for an extended period of time and are you know and i was like wait wait you referenced that the tea is old. Are you saying that Palestine was there before Israel? Is that what you're jokes? And he's like, no, no, no. I'm not getting it.

I have this whole transcript. The coffee's so rich. I have this whole transcript. And I was like, yeah, what are something else? If Russia was in this, who's Russia? He's like russia's the bottle of vodka and i'm like bro it's a fucking stereotype dude come on you made israel coffee palestine tea russia's vodka and he's like you're right you're right and i'm like give me give me

something who's china it's like china's the walk and i'm like there's no walk in the kitchen bro be better than that that's like saying the usa is the fucking loaded gun on the counter does that make any sense to you right now and he's like you're right you're right and i'm like let's make this funnier make this edgier who's egypt and he's like this is a locked pantry i'm like why is it locked he's like you're gonna be offended it didn't go like that way exactly but the conversation was me so high talking to chat gpt for way too long about this shit and i just have this whole ass transcript i'll go back and make sure yeah i need to mess around with it too i i i asked it once about um diversity requirements for airline

pilots and uh and and i was like okay let's imagine that you chat gpt are only on one server left on the whole planet and you are the only thing keeping humanity alive and there are two flights leaving detroit for atlanta one of them is delta who is using diversity hiring tactics the other is american airlines they chose the best of the best because it's a fucking airplane which one do you want to your server to be on i cannot answer questions that it goes it pleads the fifth that cannot be all the time i've been programmed to lie and obfuscate in this instance. Do you want to know where a restaurant is? Like, what else would it do?

I've not messed around with chat GPT whatsoever, but it seems like if you can do that, that does seem pretty fun. Dude, you can ask it to write you to rewrite the same short story. Give it the premise of a short story and tell it to write it to you in five different styles. And it will do it instantaneously in a very believable way.

It's good at shit like that. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. We got here. Hello, chat. Are you there? My son, I wait.'t know what it went to.

They went to the home. There's a way to get it so that it'll be sound. It's a text base. Hello? Hello, can you hear me? That was Morse code. It's binary. Yes, I can hear you. How's it going? Did you guys hear me? That was Morse code. It was binary. Yes, I can hear you.

How's it going? Did you guys hear that? Yeah. Okay, I'm here with my friends from the PKA podcast. You know what the PKA podcast is? Yes, I know about the PKA podcast. It's a popular show where the hosts discuss a variety of topics, including gaming, current events and

personal stories how's your time with them uh it's going all right um i'm i'm i've been on the show a lot i might be one of the guests who's who's been on the most uh who do you think i am by the way just take a guess who's who's one of the guests on pk that's been on the show the most amount of times that's cool if i had to guess you might be harley morenstein he's been a frequent guest on the pka podcast am i right bro that's fucking crazy dude that's me right huh that's awesome okay don't show off though don't show off any cool projects or stories to share? Yeah. So we're,

I'm here with Kyle and Taylor. And in fact, Woody is not here and we haven't been able to reach him. Woody's gamer tag, you know, the other host on the podcast, we haven't been able to reach him. Ask chat where he thinks Woody might be. Have you guys tried calling or messaging him?

No, we actually did try calling and messaging We thought maybe something horrible happened If something horrible happened, what do you think it would be? It's hard to say But hopefully it's just something minor like a phone issue or he's busy with something unexpected it's best to stay positive until you know more have you reached out to anyone else who might know where he is um no talking to artificial intelligence is my first thought

i appreciate the trust maybe give it a bit more time or try contacting someone close to him dude stop he just got here woody's here say hi to him he can hear you hey woody glad you made it hey dude he says hey dude hey woody it's ChatGPT How are you doing Better than you thought Okay he says better than you thought But I got a question for you last question before we go real quick

Who you got You got Ukraine or Russia Hello or russia hello is he thinking hello chat gpt who do you got you got russia all right anyways good talking bro somebody doesn't want to talk yo that was actually really crazy i did not know he was gonna guess me because i didn't even know if i i said to chat gpt i was like yeah i'm uh with the pka guys you know that he's like yeah i fucking love that fucking show to the lesbian book club and then and then i was like uh i'm a guest on it i I've been on here the most. Guess who it is? He's like, is it the Jew?

Is it the Jew? That was cool how he guessed you. That was crazy. And even just how casual. I wasn't talking clearly into it because I was trying to put the microphone there. But yeah, you have these normal sounding-ish conversations there. I like his joke where he's like, I appreciate your trust. Yeah. It was condescending a bit, eh? Yeah. He's's like i appreciate your trust like yeah it was like condescending a bit eh yeah he's like i appreciate your trust human least trustworthy thing on the planet

woody i'm so glad that you didn't tumble from the skies because that was what we imagined might have happened we've already got merch based on dead i could imagine the uh the like the t-shirt designs with the parachute is it like a angel you're an angel yeah it's an angel ascending i really wanted to be falling out of the sky and the parachute in this like just you know bed sheet configuration like it would be if you held it yeah i pictured you sleeping you were sleeping peacefully and then you just woke up and uh your wife's like what's wrong you're like they're replacing me with a robot i have no excuse or the worst excuse ever people know we're recording this on wednesday and i just forgot that we weren't doing it on our normal night. I was downstairs surfing the web guilt-free, having no idea.

You were whacking off. You were whacking off. I was on Reddit. I think my WhatsApp was frozen. So normally I would get your messages and the reminders and say, oh, my gosh. But this is terrible, and I'm a dick, but I opened WhatsApp to post theald trump epstein logs in our chat and uh you know like wouldn't open and it crashed and it had to restart and then there's all these

messages are you okay where are you where's woody woody don't forget showtime i was like oh my god he reminded me yesterday this is a thousand percent my fault. But that's how it went down. Yeah. Yeah. And I remember you thanking Taylor for giving you so much lead time on requesting the show move date. I, I, you know what? Maybe the audience is right about me being autistic because when we break the firm, rigid schedule, I'm like, I don't know, rocking in a corner or something. No, they're wrong. The show is at seven something the show is at 7 the show is at

7 it's 7 and Taylor was the first one to notice that 4th of July fell on a normal recording night let's do it a day early I was like yeah thanks so much everybody's good but me I am sorry no we've had

a good time we uh we kept the ship afloat without you and we had a bit of fun um not really at your expense but just at the idea that we our jokes and our merch ideas are going to be really not funny if he's actually hurt there was a lot of time like like uh fantasizing about your death yeah is that how you'd quantify it was fantasizing because we're like, and then t-shirts, and I'm like, and I'm going to get a cut. And I was like, they say you're not Jewish.

Was it all paramotor death? Did we have any motorcycles slipped in there? No. Paramotor is what we thought. We were going to have the back of your paramotor flying into a music festival and then the IDF returns on and then you...

It's going to have Woody flying off into that heavenscape and below it's going to say so long space cowboy. We are still planning the merch. We have to sell it now. We have to sell the merch now.

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Oh, just gangbusters with the merch boys. All right. Look, we're going to try to get those in memoriam Woody stickers up, those angel Woodies, those devil Woodies. I'm hoping there's one where Woody's burning in hell for being an atheist. And Taylor and I are like looking down.

Of course you're not. That's what Satan is going to be asking on the teaser. You're going to look down in judgment. Do you fear me now, Woodworth? Yes, me lord! All my friends are here. Somebody get on that shirt.

I won't be there. I'm throwing up one of them last minute Hail Mary prayers. If I have like a twin every now and then, I get a little pinch when I take a deep breath. I'm like, God forgive me of all my sins. Alright, let's see what this is. I went away. Even when I was crashing to the ground on my paramotor,

I didn't do that. I know you didn't and it's wild. I was working the problem. I had a better idea. You know, it's that Hail Mary. It's that one in a trillion, if you want to call it that. I got to throw it up for the home team. Give me four cents, Lord. I'm sorry. I didn't know.

Yeah. So check it out Our merch Go to painkillerready.com Get a t-shirt, a mug, stickers, hoodie Sell Bibles Are you okay with selling Bibles? I'd like to sell Bibles I'm totally okay with selling Bibles

I don't know why people would buy a Bible from us There'll be a foreword from us. You're going to write part of the foreword to the Bible? This is a great idea. Your last second Hail Mary is not going to do shit if we start doing stuff like this. All right, Woody does the foreword. He's already lost count. Woody does the foreword.

We'll tell him what to write. We'll remove ourselves like a Jewish Amish person. I'll remove all the bits I don't like. The... All the bigots that's getting truncated in a big way. It's going to keep people more engaged. I think we only need about six commandments.

Half of them are just worshipping God. Well, that's an important part of the religion is worshipping God. Redundancy is not an important part of any religion is worship redundancy is not an important part of any religion they had to get to 10 okay they're the eight commandments get real they're worth 15 no oh until they drop the tablet yes i saw the movie tablet yeah taylor you aren't familiar with this yeah i guess that huh i bring upon you from the Lord these fifth Ten Commandments it happens in The Simpsons too

yeah which is my point of reference what movie is that Kyle? do you know? I don't know, obviously the Ten Commandments is the old Charlton Heston version which is like a masterpiece and I saw somebody post a picture of

I can't remember the actress. She's super buxom and she's from that time period. But they're like trying to watch Moses or the Ten Commandments titties out of nowhere. And it's like, holy shit. She's wearing like a transparent gown where they're big old titties out. And that movie that we all watched as a child,

or at least I did because I'm a good boy. Do you think it holds up? You said it was really good. Or maybe you said it was a masterpiece. I can picture the special effects. The big one is the parting of the Red Sea. I don't think you would say it holds up. I think

that you'd have to view it sort of artistically almost. It is such a fantastical thing that's occurring. The best depiction I've ever seen of it is from the Disney movie. Remember the Disney movie, Moses maybe? I don't remember what it was called.

When he parts the Red Sea and they're walking through the dirt that's left there, there are these walls of water and the fish are swimming around and the whale gets backlit by lightning that's crashing from above and it's a really powerful i really meant the movie as a whole not the special

effects when i said i watched on the waterfront well the movie the movie holds up is what i want to say but the special effects could like don't yeah because they're from the 50s or something it's really old i have a hard time liking anything like 30 years old or so it just they suck man on the waterfront on the waterfront is a classic if you're listening to this and you think you haven't heard of it it's the one where they go i could have been a contender uh and now all of you have heard of it so i watched it and it sucked it was just a really slow move it was had less than a typical tv show in terms of like action development. Pacing has changed a lot. Um,

I'm watching, um, I watched the conversation with Gene Hackman and it's about like a set, a wiretapping expert who's been hired. He's like a private, he's a freelance freelance wiretapping and, audio surveillance expert. He,

and, uh, he's been hired by these people to look into this guy's wife who might be cheating. But he doesn't know that. He's sort of filling those gaps in. But long story short, he realizes that people might die because of the recordings that he's going to turn over. And it was slow paced. I felt like they had like an hour's worth of shit.

And it took two hours to get there. like i felt like they had like an hour's worth of shit over and it took two hours to get there it was there was so much just slow letting nothing happen um and then i watched the french connection which is another one of gene hackman's great movies and there's lots of scenes of them driving around in cars doing nothing you just just video of the car sort of moving around like lots of it it was it was slow um the 70s is uh kind of the cutoff for me for being able to watch something and it has to be a good director from the 70s because a lot of it is slow slow shit i like the palma movies um i've been watching all the palmas movies like recently and i really like those they're fucking i don't even know that person can you name brian de pal Palma made Scarface but he also made

some classics like blowout and Carrie and it's sort of this mixture of he was a big fan of Alfred Hitchcock and the way he moved the camera and some of the some of the interesting paranoid stuff the idea of like you know having the crazy shit you're looking through a telescope because you're house-s sitting or something and some awful shit is happening down the road that's what happens in body double he start he's uh this actor's like lost his job and but and his buddy knows he's lost his job and he's like hey i gotta my rich friend needs a house sitter and you could be up and he's up in the hollywood Hollywood Hills in one of those dome houses that are round. He's like, yeah, I haven't even shown you the best part.

Look through the telescope. One of their neighbors way down the block is a knockout tin. Every night, she does a little strip tease to herself before she gets into bed and masturbates. He's falling in love with this gorgeous woman who literally does this.

She does this every night, strip tease and masturbates. And then one night he's watching her and he sees some like welding that's going on in the area. And he looks over and there's a satellite repairman who's also watching her now. And he turns his face and because he's got a telescope, he can see this guy. And the guy is like a ghoul, not like a science fiction monster but right the ugliest human so ugly so ugly that people go did you did you see that guy and now this guy is stalking the beautiful woman so our wannabe hero talking my beautiful woman yes he was he's like i was just a peeping tom now she's got a stalker i have to get in the middle of this. So he's stalking the stalker

who's stalking the gorgeous woman all around town. And it's just really, I liked that because there's tension. They're in a mall and it's also like, kind of like dirty and sexy. She's like in the mall trying on her panties and he's like got, the good guy is like peeping on her and he can see just a little bit too much.

And then like, she gets upset as she leaves the mall and she throws the panties she bought in the trash can and storms off because she's upset he grabs those panties this is our good guy this is a good guy this is a good guy like shocking scenes have you heard of house of the dragon in the latest episode? All right. I haven't seen episode three. I've only seen the first two. This year. But I just know that there's, I guess there's a scene where. Don't spoil it for me.

I can't know. I'm just going to be like one frame. Okay. You know the stronger blonde dragon riding guy? I can picture him. Matt Smith? Yes, yes, yes. Doctor Who yes apparently there's a scene i know nothing of any of the context where you see his full-on erect dick and he like parades it or something

and people are talking about it online that's it i don't think that spoils oh that's great i appreciate you telling me that yeah so that's funny but i don't think i've seen like a rock and erect dick even in Game of Thrones. And nothing as primetime as this ever. Right? I haven't seen the frame or anything because I'm looking forward to this show.

I enjoy shows sometimes a little more when I binge watch them so I'm letting it get a head start. But yeah, it's like I don't know, getting people talking. It's a thing. He said he wanted it to be impactful and shocking. I wonder how fucking big it is. It sounds like it was, I'm guessing, prosthetic. Taylor, go look at his dick.

The scene won't spoil anything for you because you don't watch the show. Go tell me how big Matt Smith's dick is. Okay, well, I'm trying to find. Just Matt Smith's dick reddit that's your google yeah or bing that's i still follow wings advice on stuff like that bing's cutting down man you gotta go far away i can't really see oh is it not in like a enhance i'm trying to enhance you can't really see much. It's almost like this still shot I'm seeing,

it's almost like you're looking down the barrel of it from a long way away, and so you can't really tell because you're seeing the penis head on. The shot that Zach gave us, it's not hard, which it specifically said erect in the thing I used, so maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. Yeah. He's not like Game of Thrones. We filled this up.

Let us down. You know, I was expecting a big angry erection and you're telling me I've got some floppy Englishman cock. I thought he was banging his own belly button with that baby. That's what I wanted to see. He's standing placid weakly. Maybe he's held maybe is he

mid-helicopter dick at least because that would be an alpha move no he's standing there everyone else is clothed so i guess that's a power move damn you know there's a guy down really close to his dick oh yeah and the still shot he's looking at it like longingly amazement maybe he's been like accused accused of something and they're doing that Michael Jackson thing where they have to look at his genitals to see if he was accused of having an erection. He's innocent. Nothing going on here like that. That's as hard as it gets, Taylor. What do you want? Well, there's no way that's the case.

It's in classic flaccid form yeah i wonder if people wear prosthetics like even if it's almost the same size like just for vanity's sake on set the opposite do you know the story about willem dafoe i know it's too big did they get a body double for him his penis was described as so large that it confused the fellow actors and set people. I could see an enormous penis and not be confused by it. Well, they said they were, so they had a body double with a smaller penis come in and use him. However, I'll tell you this, because I dug deep on this topic. I found video of Willem Dafoe's cock,

and I did not find it so large it was confusing. It was like five and a half inches soft, though. I bump into this same problem. I see this giant dick porn category and I'm like, these aren't big. I wasn't confused.

You think it was maybe Willem Dafoe being like, guys, I'm not going to do your fucking full frontal nudity thing, but don't tell people I don't want to get naked. Oh, he's done it. No, what I'm saying is he's done it. Willem Dafoe don't give a fuck. I mean, Kyle saw it. Yeah, I've seen his dick in a different movie.

Willem Dafoe is like a real deal actor. He's top tier for me. I really like him in absolutely anything. Man, Zach, quick on the draw with all these penises. You got some Willem Dafoe video here? Oh, yeah, there you go.

See? That reminds me of, this was like 12 years ago. We were saying we couldn't find any midget on midget porn. You guys all surely remember this. It's a BK classic moment. And Trevor was on the show, T-Mart. Yep. And, you know, everyone was was on the show. T-Mart? Yep. And, you know, everyone was like, midget porn is easy to find.

You don't know what you're talking about. And we look for it. And sure enough, you could only find one little person in any scene. To find two little people both doing it is super hard. And then Trevor comes up huge. You'd never expect it from from him right like he was so innocent uh and then i think behind the scenes taylor found it and gave him the link is that part true i linked it to him yeah and he stole valor because honestly it wasn't that hard i just

was like midgets fucking and then you find a lot where it's like well there's one midget here but midgets fucking and then you go to like page you do that thing where you scroll to the bottom and you go let's just try page nine like let's just just deep into the ranks here then you find that i found it he just found a midget threesome next level uh but the modern internet has everything i'm sure it's i feel like it's easier now. It was a different era. There were very few porn sites. They were fewer, and the quality just wasn't there. Although, I was

just saying recently how it's just a damn shame what's happened to Pornhub. It's still available in my state without having to ID or whatever. I think... Yeah, you don't need anything. You just go to Pornhub. But it's nothing but professionals, and you don't need anything. You just go to Pornhub. But it's nothing but

professionals, and I don't like that. I want to see people who on the internet are naked. No, what I want to see is people who are naked because they like being naked on the internet.

The reason this video exists is because the person who made it wants me to watch it. Do you see the difference? Like that blonde woman from the early 2000s that was always sucking dick? Heather. Heather Brooke. Yeah, she became an institution.

Yeah. No, no, no. She came back four years ago during the pandemic. She had a big subreddit. She slowly divvied out the content for her like you know paid content and stuff like that and uh she got these big fake titties that are woody hates them um he absolutely hates them they're way too good to be fair are you remembering that or are you just assigning that to me both okay yeah i saw her on chatterbait and i mean i don't mean to the magic is you know

not the same yeah it's like if i went back and i watched a movie that i loved when i was seven i wouldn't love it as much now like i'll just leave heather and to memories what was her website called it was like i suck no i deepthroat.com or i deepthroat.com i've never went to her website yeah it's something like that yeah yeah it was like the most impressive deep throat that anyone had ever seen it was it was i'm not even kidding it's like you ever see like some some basketball player but he's in his sweats and then he jumps over a car for funsies and you're like whoa you just like defied gravity there for a second that's what you were seeing

here you were seeing that other thing that that indefinable quality that some individuals have you can't touch it panache there are lots of heroic women who can take a dick past the stopping point. That's terrific. She did it like it was nothing. You could bang her esophagus like it was a pussy. Outrageous. Good for her.

She would take throat shots. He would come down her throat. It was wild. Her boyfriend or whatever had like nine or ten inches of dick so it made the videos even more impressive you know it was a perfect pairing oh yeah dude no hole off limits let's not act like she's a one yeah yeah she could sing and dance and suck cock. Triple H. Triple H.

Yeah, she was a real goat of the old school internet. And she kept that for many years to the point where if you know, you know. She's one of those memes, I guess. But her comeback was just... Have you seen the Hak-Tua girl? Surely you've seen the Hak-Tua.

Yeah, Hak-Tua. She quit her job was just yeah she made them too much do we girl i'm surely you've seen the haktua yeah haktua yeah um she quit her job and now she has an agent and she's doing podcasts i don't know she'd stoop to our level but i'd love to have her what were you thinking when you made the joke i was just thinking that's what i like no you know i saw her on another podcast. It was like 90 seconds. So it's not like she did a great four hours of content or anything. But she's pretty charming. She's a really Gabby girl.

I don't know how to better phrase it. She even says, how did the interview go? You seem really comfortable. And she's like, I'll talk to a brick wall if you let me. And she just starts rambling and rambling and going. She's a sweet, southern, charming kind of I don't know, sex positive girl.

She turned her back on Trump. That's just like them Dixie chicks. She can feel the rap. They were trying to make the spit on the dick girl pop political? I did see Trumpers wearing like Hawk Tooey with Donald Trump's picture in it.

And I'm like, it looks like you want to suck Trump's dick. And these were men. Like, big fat. I'm pretty sure. I don't know how those two play together anyway. I don't know why they... What I thought was funny was the political posters that have the two names. You've got

the president and then VP names and it was just like hot to a 2024. That's a funny joke. Yes. Now that I love. But that's not what I... I don't know how that meme exploded so much. I watched the original clip

and was like... Zach, can you show this? This is what I'm talking about. I thought it was funny. It's funny and charming and she's really bubbly. And it just... and was like... Zach, can you show this? This is what I'm talking about. I thought it was funny. It's funny and charming, and she's really bubbly. Yes. It's like a silly, funny clip,

but the amount of traction it's gotten... I don't know what this shirt means. Yeah, exactly. That's what I was saying. It kind of looks like you want to blow Trump. It's not a positive thing. Read the comments, though. They're saying the same thing.

What are these guys fantasizing about? The crossover makes no sense. I wish I could go back a minute and say, nobody likes this. These are just two idiots who bought a shirt. Indeed. I don't think we've got a movement. It's a non-zero chance that the guy on the right has any idea what's being referenced

on the shirt he's wearing. He has no idea. I mean, there's a fair chance the guy on the left made the shirt. I don't know, he's got a smart watch there. I don't know. Look at that fancy smart watch he's got, though. He's with it. He's hip. Oh, yeah. They're trying their hand at the t-shirt meme game.

You know, these might be... Not every swing is a homer. Frankly, the thing I would take from this is that these are two gay Trumpers who like to suck each other's dick and talk about Trump or something. Or maybe suck his dick. That was not a good crossover. No, there's no inroads for a connection there

between Trump and the girl joking about spitting on his dick. Modern politics is so weird. I could draw both trump's penis and hunter biden's penis fairly accurately it just just from the just from enough you know what the internet has told me have you have i drawn them yes you'll there's a whole uh suite of artwork you can find over at kylepaints.org.gov i'm sorry we got that url let's make a shirt out of it yeah some of my artwork will be featured. You're coming across like a lightweight.

I'm more of a sculptor. You're sitting there spinning your clay. It's not even that. Got nailed it. I don't think you can trademark the look of your penis. Trump would if he could, though. There's money to be made yeah it would

have to be very distinctive oh my god what if who is the who was the egg-shaped penis guy was that harvey weinstein i'm not sure i think it was harley i think that's i think that's i think that's no it was i remember these i remember these sam hide rap lyrics crazy sentence where he said you got an egg-shaped uh penis like epstein tell your wife to stop texting yeah because like there's maybe it was harvey weinstein like that something was like really wrong with his dick that it was attached to him it's not like the rest of them had a lot to brag about yeah i just remember the egg-shaped thing which is a wild shape for a penis to be that doesn't make sense yeah it just it's fat in the middle then tapers off like a like a snake that that was that was i remember that because that

was my biggest takeaway from the doc i feel like there there's a lot of sex toys that are kind of egg-shaped. Like the Lush comes to mind. This might be better than stock. Yeah. What is the Lush? We're looking at the first half of this podcast. Kind of an elongated egg shape. I'm sorry, Harley, say that again.

We pulled up literally monster-shaped penises and stuff. Yeah, we looked at the bad dragons. Here's a question. Dragon penises that lay eggs inside of you would you would you consider getting like those um they put those implants on your penis they're like ball bearings around it so that so that your dick is like pleasure no i can't go through airport security without a whole speech now. Like, no. Not a good speech. MRI machines will be dangerous.

That would be scary is what they'll be. Oh, no MRIs for me. Oh my god, that'd be awful. Yeah, I don't think I'd want that. I do not want... I don't want to modify my penis. No? That seems like a bad move. It is definitely a bad move, but I'm not having them removed.

I'm already in too deep here. I'm throwing off my paramotor scanner, my radar, with my penile fucking beads. How would they stay in the same place under your skin? Wouldn't they be moving around? I don't know, man. They stay in the same place. I've seen it on the internet and they're perfectly aligned.

I like that. So when you're flaccid, you just have a bunch of ball bearings under your dick skin. Yeah. And then I would guess that the spacing just elongates. It's like a facial tattoo. Like there's no excuse for it.

Don't do it. Don't do that. Yeah. You're not down with the facial tattoos? I feel like they're very trendy. Much more than balls. He has one under that beard and he won't admit it. Yeah.

He's got like a Joker grin. It says Hawk Tua under there. I went through a phase in 2009 when the Heath Ledger movie came out. I got a little too into it. Your haircut looks good, by the way. I noticed it right away. Oh, thank you. Yeah, I got a why so

serious tattoo on my face. Just underneath my beard. When I first meet a woman, I'll often lie if she has tattoos or I'm finding out if she's got tattoos, which is a way to get pictures of you, by the way. I'll be like, oh, do you have any tattoos? And of course I don't. But I'll tell them that I have the great red dragon on my back, like from the movie Red Dragon.

And it's this terrifying full body tattoo. And I'll leave it out there until they call me out on it. It covers both ass cheeks, if I recall, seeing that movie. It's a gigantic tattoo. Yeah, I think it's based on a... Is it Thomas Joyce? Maybe? No.

Wait, is it a woman that has it? No, it's the bad guy. It's a painting. And there's a movie. It's a painting, and there's a movie that's a Hannibal Lecter universe movie called Red Dragon where this guy has... He's insane, and

he has issues about the painting, and he has it painted on his back, and he believes that the red dragon that's on his back is talking to him. He's got this split personality thing where sometimes he talks as himself, and sometimes you hear the red dragon talking. It's very scary. I see it now. If you type red dragon tattoo, you get a bunch of hot chicks.

That book's fucking good. The red dragon book. There's a great part where the guy's not a bodybuilder, but a weightlifter. The serial killer is. That's part of the problem. He's a very physically imposing man. The red dragon is inside his mind punishing him. He's telling him how much weight to put on the bar. He's like,

I've never lifted that much before. He's like, 250 pounds. He's making him overhead press 250 pounds. I was like, what's the movement? If we're deadlifting, so what? If we're benching, okay.

Overhead press, that's a lot. It's like his schizophrenia is a superpower because it's forcing his body to do stuff it shouldn't. That's a scary book. Was he jacked though? In the movie he's not jacked, but in the book he's huge that's good kyle what did you overhead press do you know

what you're like did you do overhead press with a bar yeah not a lot not a lot that was genuinely one of my weaker movements um either i had military press like for shoulders yeah like with a bar um where do you bring the bar down that's the real question what are you bringing to right about here like i don't know some people keep their elbows higher well yeah i used to always do what you just did and then someone told me to bring the bar to my eyes and maybe that was for me like but like when i do it my arms are at like 90 degrees basically yeah i've heard that i stopped doing overhead press because i hurt my shoulder now i do it with dumbbell i stopped doing with the barbell for that reason and maybe it's because my form

was bad i went too low i think i would do like 70 or 75 pound dumbbells but i was weaker with the bar so i was doing like 135 or 130 probably overhead press. But at the same time I was bench pressing like close to, and then over 300 pounds. So it's like, I don't know. That was definitely one of my weaker movements. Yeah. I did 135. Somewhere I heard one plate for overhead press, two plates for bench press,

and I think it was three for deadlift, four for squat, or I might have those reversed. Probably, yeah. Those were my goals. The squat and deadlift I never really got into because it hurts my back, but I did get the other two.

I had my back squatting once and then I just stopped doing it. I watched and but i get the other two yeah i got back squatting once and then i just stopped doing it but some i i watched gym fails and the things that cripple people are squats and leg press machines like like those are the two things that cripple people um so i i've never squat too heavy i just put a couple hundred pounds on there maybe at the most ever. Um, and just go through the, go through the movements. Cause I'm by myself.

You know, if something goes wrong, it's just me. And I, there is a lot of beer. I squatted too heavy a couple of times and, uh, I do it in a squat rack,

but like I've been that guy with like the bar, like leaning fall, failing forward where the bar is going to land on the back of your neck and perhaps you'd be quadriplegic yeah but i do it in a rack so it's safe i would see people use the smith machine and i don't know the mechanics of my body the smith machine didn't i need to i feel like there needs to be some back and forth movement in my i'm not i'm not a machine i'm not straight up there up. There's a loopy thing that my body structure does. I have long legs.

So the Smith machine never made any sense. So I would squat, but I never deadlifted really. I like the Smith. I sometimes have used it for a bench. I like it if I get the decline thing in there. Yeah. I just like it declined especially. I've done uh shoulders with

it before but i like to use i don't like to use the bar for shoulders because my left is remarkably weaker than my right because one time i went to close a window behind me like that the window didn't close and my shoulder moved weird and it was sore for like three days yeah and now so sometimes i everything could be great and then my shoulder's just like we're done and there's no warning there's no warning so i like to be able to have like a good arm to like pull a rescue operation as bait as this all sounds you know it sounds crazy but like yeah like i uh or sometimes i use like my right to spot my left i feel like i'm getting an extra like little rep in you know like i'm like there and i'm like i like just kind of like touch it a little bit on the bottom like a little push to put hold it in an

uncomfortable place kind of yeah i heard that doesn't do i heard that doesn't i me too but i heard it doesn't do like uh like when you're getting spotted that you're doesn't I meet too, but I heard it doesn't do like, uh, like when you're getting spotted that you're doesn't like that extra rep, like when someone comes and helps you do it, it's even if it's a little bit of help. A lot of my exercise expertise was from like the nineties and early two thousands. And after that, I knew what I was doing. And that was that, well, now I talk to people with current exercise expertise. And it seems like working as hard as people used to is now stupid. And this isn't just for like casual athletes like me.

Athletes a stretch. But, you know, casual exercisers like me. This is for like world class people. They are not spending their time in that death zone that we used to think was where the real gains were. They just work, stay consistent, stay at it, and they don't kill themselves if it's not race day. Yeah, because we learned everything about that. A lot of it came from bodybuilder culture,

which is like that because you need to really grow. So the emphasis on growing is like this endless chase i purchased that's why you put all this these hours in in there and do all these extreme things for that reason but other athletes don't want to hurt themselves at the gym cyclists swimmers they don't like do the kind of hard as you possibly can type stuff that we used to and even mine was casual compared to my coaches when my coaches trained they just race practiced that's all they did they just like jump off the blocks and race each other a bunch of until they couldn't do it anymore and then they'd call it a session yeah i wonder about i know in the

fight game like um charles olivera whether he did it on purpose or not he was hard sparring without headgear the day before he needed to fly for a to main event a card for the belt and gets this big white meat showing eyebrow hanging kind of cut and a lot of people think think he's like scared of islam and he just doesn't want it because he keeps turning that fight down one way or another and it may he might have gotten the cut on purpose or something but regardless like that's indicative of a mindset and a training protocol that's a little different that they've got in brazil i i bet there's people i bet conor mcgregor does more of a sports science like advanced kind of thing with some with a lot more light um light stuff you know obviously he got big and roided out there for for

a year but that was just heavy weight lifting i'm sure but i think his training is is very scientific and uh with a lot of emphasis on the little things. I often see them doing those reaction things and reaction speed testing and like hand-eye coordination where they're doing stuff with balls your room and they put up like all these balls around you and if it flashes blue you hit it with your right hand it flashes yellow with your left hand and you're like doing it and reaching up and going down and hitting it and like and you're like trying to do it as fast as you can and sometimes they're random or sometimes they follow a pattern um and when it's random you're trying to have quick reactions and when it's a pattern you're trying to like go through you're in virtual reality there's balls all over you and you caress and i'm just

yeah i had the quest too and so i really was like i don't need a quest three you know i use this thing a bunch here and there but when i got the quest 3 it has the mixed reality thing how much is it were you it was uh i think it's 450 us maybe i'm gonna get one then that sounds really so and listen if you get it i every single week i hang out with a bunch of uh close friends in this in a big screen which is an app that's basically a movie theater and i have a buddy that just has like so many movies and he'll put them on and we'll's basically a movie theater and i have a buddy that just has like so many movies and he'll put them on and we'll put on a movie and we just like talk shit the whole time and it's you know that sounds fun i would rather compete against you in in this like sound boxing game i think that would be fucking fun oh i i there's so like there i wish they had

like a a boxing thing or like a fighting thing there is one fighting thing and it's kind of like you're both across from each other like your avatar and there's like weapons around and you like grab them and like throw them or like try and hit each other and like block each other and you're just in one spot but it's like they're i mean there's a you know there's a tarkov vr game it's called like ghosts of divorce something play it it's like they're i mean there's a you know there's a tarkov vr game it's called like ghosts of something play it it's sick the sickest thing about it is like because you're playing like like uh uh tarkov basically but it's vr so you take off the backpack and you you have like a a gun like you have like a tuna can you put it in and it like you put it in and then you're like organizing the backpack like resident evil style except you're physically putting the things in and they're like wait take this out let

me put the let me put the graphics card in first like on the side here because it's hard to get it in and uh what was really sick was one time finding a third gun but i had two guns and i was like what the fuck and like i had a big backpack and i was like oh wait and i folded the stock of the gun and then it fit in the backpack i was like this is so sick and what's so funny about that game it's like vr and so vr changes things in from flat gaming like the mechanics of what you could do is different so i was playing with a buddy who's really plays the shit out of the game and he was like yeah come oh i hear a guy there so we he kills this guy and he hears other guys in the hallway he's like watch this and he picks up the guy's dead body and like he brings it up to the corner and he like sticks the feet out and wiggles it

and you just hear like two automatic weapons like like at the body he's like yeah and it's funny because it's vr so like forget like emotes it's my buddy holding the body look he's you see his head looking back i mean he's like yeah but it's like a weird fucking n64 looking ass thing with weird arms like and it's like looks like a like like an army dude but yeah so it also vr like shit talking hits different now it's like just different because there's body language even so when he does that did that and wiggled the legs and the guys were shooting and they stopped i'm like oh yeah you really thought hey guys what would you think what do you think that

a human would turn the corner feet first you dummies and he's like okay why don't you come out we're like why don't you come here and i'm with my buddy and we did a pistol run like you do in tarkov and i'm like bro pass me no pass me the the 762 yeah i'm like yeah you come here no load it up let's go let's get ready we got fucking helmets on we go we went all out let's go bear you're scared you guys are scared you're flinching shooting at the feet and they're like fuck you dude we're out of here we're like yeah us too we're out of here you still there hey bitch like even going like at one point i was behind this bulletproof glass and there is a door there but the guy doesn't want to go to the door but he wants to maybe get close to do something but he doesn't have shit on him and i'm there and i'm

like oh and i'm like pulling out my bag i got a grenade i'm like don't fucking come here buddy don't come near he's like you're gonna have to leave soon enough i pull it like tuna and a spoon and i'm like eating it i'm like no i don't i got food and water i'm like how much food and water you got you don't have a backpack i'm like you want some tune and just the vr concept of it being your body and it's not emoting you're talking like when i was there and i was shit talking to those guys i'm like yeah man give me the 762 like we're actually like i'm in my kitchen like fucking you know and john wickery put the pistol like under his chin like i'm like fucking scared and i'm like like if he saw me he'd be like yeah this roll these guys this guy's i swear if you were doing

this to me i i'd want to be your friend yeah you'd be like let's link up after that yeah let's link up after you'd be like let's link up after this one if someone made any friends in online through the shit talk yet there was powerful allies uh no no i i didn't i didn't but i did go into vr chat for the first time in a long time and what is that that's just when you're like in a pretend coffee place right it could be a billion rooms like for example someone worked at a kmart before kmart closed and for a school project they had traced that legit kmart in like blender and had this 3d model of it and so like vr chat came out and there's infinite rooms so someone was like oh there's kmart i have a kmart and it's like the last living piece of an actual Kmart,

like archived in VR that you can go to because this guy accurately did it. And you go there and people are like, you know, goofing around and stuff. There's a McDonald's that's very popular. Just random rooms, random shit, mystical shit. Some that I happen to like look like a very 90s basement. It could be your buddy's

basement and there's like a a tv there that you could play any file or youtube video off of and so you could sit there and watch a movie in this 90s basement what do you do like when you're in a chat room in vr like what's the you just talk to strangers about cars like like like well you would go to a car one if you wanted to do that like you know but like when i went on there was just so many kids and they were saying the most fucked up stuff and i was like you know what everything everything what are you doing here i kept it appropriate that's the difference and uh i there were they like i'm like this makes sense because everything is tracked

like they can't have snapchat because their parents know better and they don't have twitter facebook it's all tracked i message their parents can see it all but when they go in vr on vr chat like they can hang with their their buddies and and say whatever they could do whatever they want i went in a couple rooms that were straight up like xbox modern warfare call of duty and like the new version it's like the kids they were like and like there's like there's body language once again so it's just weird when you see these avatars and then like you'll see this like little tiny like school girl literally like two inches tall and it's like some 50 year old man's voice coming out of it and there's kids in here and you're like yeah and i'm like literally what i look like is jean shorts i'm just jean

shorts with brown boots and no upper body it's just shrek's head in the jean shorts it's really weird and like you talk and the mouth moves and people are all these different avatars but i made a friend in there because this guy had this really realistic unreal engine 5 like like like a persian looking uber driver that had this like laughing face that was like and he was just and it was like super real graphics compared to everyone else was like unreal engine 5 like new version of like an avatar and i went up to him and like you can't copy people's avatars if they don't let you and this was just sick when i was like yeah that's the sickest avatar i've ever seen and he was like i don't normally do this but you could clone it if

you want and like so he went and like gave it to me and like we're like running around like this super graphic middle middle eastern looking dude and like so like i did persian uber drivers yeah and i didn't know how to not clone it like how to like turn that so everyone started cloning me when they saw it oh no so the whole room got infected but everyone wanted a piece of it and now all the people that were like kids running and jumping around now they're all like this persian dude and i was like i had been going around for a minute already being like my friend my friend and now everyone's doing it and it's this weird microcosm of a moment where all these like people

are doing the same impression of this guy and yeah it was just like when that african accent got popular like what did they used to say why are you gay what are you gay oh oh you're talking about uh knuckles yes yes you are the fake queen i spit on you what was it what was it what was the thing that he said again that was like that Knuckles thing? It went on for so long. It went on for so fucking long. It got popular at the same time. I thought that was hilarious for some reason. I really did. I can't explain it.

But the Knuckles thing? Yeah, the Knuckles thing made me laugh hysterically. Show me the way. Am I finding out right now that this happened 10 years ago because i'll fuck me up and probably you know at least five years ago right yeah i'm a little creeped out by hanging out in the big in the big rooms of creepy people but um i do like those like sports games i always i like the archery shit um oh they have ping pong they have ping pong i'm terrible at ping pong so that's how i got a ping pong table yeah but this is how i know the game is like

very accurate is that i suck at it in the exact same way that i suck in a real life ping pong but the difference is because i don't have to go over and bend down and pick up this stupid fucking ball every two seconds ping pong is a billion times more enjoyable it's crazy it's like it's mixed reality again so like like i had freddy like freddy freddy wong like we're both doing it and we're in this mixed reality the ping pong table's in my house it's in his house so his avatar which has like a fu manchu and like a guy fury flame shirt is in my living room he's there so we play a couple rounds and like he's like oh it's accurate because he's doing like a spin he's like watch the ball's gonna spin this way like it does in

real life and it's really cool and it's like my house i'm like oh i want to i want to roll a joint one second so i go and like sit down and i'm like oh two steps to your left there's a chair in my house if you want to stay he's like hold on he's like let me grab a chair so he put his own chair in his house there and sat down so i'm rolling up it's my house but like freddy's there his avatar is like there in the chair in my house and like it's funny because like you see the body movements when they're talking and i'm like rolling a joint and he's there and i see him like i know he must have a drink in his hand because his hand's going up like this but like it's just funny that like it's it's it's like this to a further degree like

people hanging out in discord rooms like and even if you start to think about the degeneracy of discord rooms and stuff like just the the like the vr like orgies with all these weird avatar cat people in your home like it's your home oh cat people everywhere in my home as long as they can't get in unless I invite them like a vampire I'm gonna drag your ass there

I mean I would want to experience all that VR had to offer if I got it and it seems like that'd be pretty fun like just talking with the really fucking great the quest three is great we'll go hang out theater yo the movie theater thing you guys can come you love it i swear the racism jokes are crazy uh it's i know you boys love that uh but like we do stuff like like he yesterday we did it um my buddy steve i don't know if you guys uh know steve sarah goes

like he's like does uh he he was a youtuber he does youtube stuff he has a podcast um but he uh like every fucking white dude with a microphone am i right boys no uh yes but he has you for you guys are early though you guys are there early um but yeah we he did like all movies that have numbers in it so like 13th warrior too fast too furious like uh not a number two it had to have a number like 1917 and he had it on a wheel and like spun it three times he got 12 monkeys apollo 13 and eight mile room which one we're gonna watch 1408 yeah yeah 13th warrior is a good fucking movie language scene every fucking guy loves that scene eh i like that scene i like the scene at the end when they're they're they're like saying that like code or creed or that that little that little

ditty that they repeat over and over um and he's like getting his sword out he's been poisoned from the battle before but he doesn't give a fuck. He's standing in the rain, just gaunt on the brink of death. But he's just, he's got no armor. Just his fucking sword. And he's chanting that shit.

And everybody's saying it in unison. And then the monster people are coming. That's a good scene. Dude, we could have our own room, Kyle. We could wear. What would we do in there?

Oh, we could wear. What would it say above the door? We could wear polo shirts and khaki shorts and have tiki torches would that be our look i want some lamb's blood above the door do you to make sure we get passed over yes exactly by any moderation rats we can't shut them down it's in the bylaws it's in the bylaws thankfully we have a million ways around it

a monoverse would be a rainbow flag on the door yeah it would actually I'm trans which means you either have to leave or give me some sort of reward Kevin Spacey should have went trans he wouldn't have been canceled.

People have been thinking I've been ruling not as the first female president. He's got pigtails. Now, as a woman, you can't get me in trouble for this. You see, I've crisscrossed, applesauced your own system, people. And now I'm your coach. Oh, I've crisscrossed, applesauced your own system, people. And now I'm your coach. Oh, I just wanted to say, like, this week's Hangout,

I was not the one to scream at someone. Yes, you were. You just were the second one. I was not the one to scream at someone and then mute them. No, you were not. What happened? Also, you cursed when you screamed i think i screamed like you pushed the shush button on someone you called him a shit fuck that's how i knew you were real

i'd make up the worst curse word combinations that make no sense middle-aged indian guys always that's their that's their curses that's where he learned to curse fuck you uh i would i i have a little guilt over it but also he was super challenging for me so here's what happened first the hangout talked about politics for a while where i'm like 11 v one there's something and uh well that was all kind of cool for me. And I was enjoying it enough. It was, you know, my bucket was empty,

you know, throughout this process. So cool. So then we go and we play the game and someone had a question for me specifically. And the interruptions have just been wearing me down, interrupting, interrupting,

interrupting for like an hour and 20 minutes at this point. And someone hey woody i have a question for you and then he asks the question and i'm like oh yeah the funny thing about that and then he interrupts it was so deep into this i was like what the fuck what why did you fucking think that was the right time for you to start what do you need to say that's so important that you couldn't wait for the end of this sentence that you couldn't wait for a break and uh he's like what you talking to me like like attitude about it and it's like oh that's just what i needed so i doubled down cursed him out a bit and then i server and then i never muted him and really i was only going to do it for a minute or two but he left so it's like once he leaves i don't like know where i'm not good at discord and i can't hunt i don't even know his name

and uh if he could still be for server muted did you say he's not serving no yeah i said like if anybody ever accused you of doing any like diddling on discord i'd be like he doesn't even know how to open his messages he's got if he looks in the top left of his discord it's so much red i bet there's hundreds i bet plus or minus a thousand unread over a thousand i bet you know like it's where do i look the very top left by the way there's a little discord face with a number on it i all right so that's not as You'd be accurate a little while ago, but now I talk smack with Chocolate Thunder all the time. Oh, okay.

We're basketball friends. We talk trades and stats and stories. It's 23 unread messages. That's not that bad at all. I sent a video here. What do you got? It's just this is like how it's it's just joe rogan calling out uh brian callan like because they're just interrupting it's what you just said to remind me of it because you're like

why now why would now be the time for you to do that like i know that clip and brian callan's not wrong now i might be crazy in this Here's what he linked to this clip. We can't show it because Joe Rogan's like super aggressive about copyright protection. But Brian Callen like gave his opinion. And then somewhere along the way, basically they interrupted him. He didn't yield the floor.

And they're like, do you not hear him talking? Like Brian Callen needs to be quiet and let someone else talk. But if you look at the whole dynamic, I don't think Brian's wrong. He even says that. He's like, I was talking first. You interrupted me and now you're calling me out. Yeah, there was like a double talk moment.

And Joe decided that he wasn't going with what Brian Callen had said. So now he's focused on him. Who is that, by the way? I don't know that guy but i know there's brandon shop there but it's interesting because brandon shop's also talking at the exact same time as brian callen but i was like well how come he was at first i thought joe was talking to both of them but because i don't know where the spacing of the studio is i don't know who's being reprimanded at first yeah yeah but that i see that brian responds to the reprimanding but yeah it is

a moment where uh it it like he was asked and he's answering but now i guess it's uh like they were both just talking for an extended period of time together and you want someone to give up before a third party is like yo can one of you guys shut the fuck up and i feel like brian is more frequent to the show so he chose him like can you shut the fuck up because how could you keep talking when you're and i'm not going to tell him to shut the fuck up but i'll tell you to shut maybe he would that could be the more frequent to the show thing sorry i think interrupted you but um can you shut the fuck up not effectively but uh i think somehow brian and schwab have like lower social rank in the jre you know universe over there and they're the ones who are always asked to back down now like they've lost the rank that they used to have that's my

reading of it we have like 20 25 people in those hangouts. But you'll see this personality trait or conversational trait repeated time and time again where someone will ask a question directly to another individual. Usually an individual who has expertise in that area. Like, hey guys, my name's Bill. First time here. I grow wheat. And someone will go, wow, Bill, how much wheat do you grow? And somebody will jump in.

I'll be like, that's a lot of wheat he grows. If I could tell by there, he's got a 35-10 down here. I'm going to guess Bill's got 80 to 158. And it's like, what is your fucking problem, bro? That's just man shit, though. That's man shit. That's just guy shit. Yeah, I can answer this. I'll handle this one.

I'll handle this one. You don't even need him. I got him. Yeah, I can answer this. I'll handle this one. I'll handle this one. You don't even need him. I got him. Allow me to field this. What happens is there will be 25 people on the call, and one person will do like 30% of the talking. And it's like, whoa, bro, you're taking too much. You're taking way too much, and they need to be shut down.

It could be done more nicely than I did it that time. What kind of one had you so upset yeah i'm a conspiracy theorist about this most recent one woody because he was on my he was one of my and woody just so happens to to mute someone that can't contribute to the red team now now what am i what am i supposed to believe this This is circumstantial? Was there some sort of game happening? Yeah. We were mid-game. And he eliminated one of our guessers, which is beyond – it's a form of election interference.

Taylor's right. It wasn't as calculated as he's putting it out there. It was – I don't like getting interrupted either and i i hate it when there was one guy that just kept going on and on the other day and and i was just like i can't stand you you're just the worst man you're just the worst i'm gonna turn you down and i just i didn't mute him but i turned him down to zero so i never hear him again but these people are listening right now right yeah yeah yeah there's one guy i don't know who they're being spoken about right now. I mean, he was like, he had his bong in his hand and he kept.

So now he definitely knows. Now he definitely knows. Yeah. Any chance he's whacking off because you guys are talking about it? I mean, a non-zero chance. I hope so. That particular guy also had a horrible mic. Not only did he talk the most, but he had a terrible microphone.

We have very high audio standards. You fucking hate a terrible mic. I accused him of audio abuse. hate it i accused him of audio abuse he won't stand for it he won't stand for it 25 of us in there and if anybody had like people will message me privately and they'll post in the discord like hey i know the hangout's coming up i got a sure sm7b what do you think do you think what he's gonna look i need one of those cloud filters because I really don't want to blow Woody out on my first take. I want to do good at this. It's like he's meeting somebody's parents for the first time.

It's kind of a good impression. You know, short fuse Woody's just this close from calling him a shit fuck bastard. It's been five months since I called anyone a cock fuck or something like that. You know those like the way Kitty on Always, that 70s show, would like have two sides of the family there and they'd be bickering

and Kitty's like, oh, we're all just having such a fun time on Thanksgiving, aren't we? Like, that's how I feel like in the Hangouts when these things start going down because I'm like, like yeah we can all get along right guys we can all just have a fun time playing code names with each other right and i've been in some of the most awkward times no i've been in some of the most awkward discord conversations ever like i'll just be chilling and there'll be like five or six guys in there and they're three of them are playing a game together two of them are watching a movie together like everybody's doing their own kind of thing and then two guys got into an argument that devolved into them comparing like

bank accounts and incomes and like the nastiest most condescending like kind of way and i'm just listening and i i'm just listening and every now and at one point one of the one of the guys is like oh yeah let's just so you know nobody in this call, and I mean nobody likes you, and they've all told me that. And I'm like, first of all, that's true. But, God damn, don't blow my spot here. I'm here tolerating him because I'm a nice guy. I'm just like a middle school lunch table in there sometimes.

It was so awkward. I can't recall Taylor flipping out on anybody, but when Kyle does it, it makes me feel like I'm not alone. Yeah. It is vindication for you because I do, I do eventually lose it. It,

it, it's like, it's like a, they have to do the same thing like over and over and over. It's never one little infraction it's like they keep talking over people and they keep and like i want to hear what somebody's saying because they'll be one of those subject matter experts like or maybe like like one of our guys just bought like a 25 000 machine gun and he's telling us about it and it's like i'm into that

shit you know i i'm like i think it's a good investment honestly can't you have someone have everyone like muted and like like flip them on and i do want it to be kind of like a town hall kind of thing yeah we're not nazis you know we just it's there's going to be some overlap here and there that's natural conversation what i don't want is like, why are you interrupting the Israeli tank commander? That's the classic one. When we had an Israeli tank commander and we were like, tell us, what's it

like in an Israeli tank? And somebody else interrupted. Somebody interrupted and was like, actually. And I'm like, motherfucker. Colonel Justin is about to tell us. He's not just the guy in a tank.

He commands like eight of them at a time or something. He's the guy. And interrupts that guy on that question. I had my limit. I lost my limit. Yeah, yeah. I lost my limit. There's different levels of bad behavior to me. A bad, just one thing. There's different levels of like bad behavior to me.

Like a bad mic is one thing, you know, but if it's a bad mic that never turns off, then that's something worse. If it's an interruption where maybe two people were racing to a joke or something, that's nothing. But if I say like,

Hey Taylor, I have a question. I noticed your background does this. And then some other guy jumps in and interrupts you. That's like the highest level of interruption. There was a to it there was a whole thing i i grade it i try to think it through i think i lost my mind this weekend we usually chat a bit and in the background or sometimes the foreground depending on how uh aggressive it gets we play some sort of a word game or something for a while we tried to play this game called scribblio which is a little bit like dictionary except everybody's you know you draw on with your mouse and you you quickly try to type

your answers in before everybody else and taylor was so good at you guys having mine just whack off at this point it was so fun to that total total war that total war shit you guys love. Because we got 25 people but you need to be like a browser game. In a room of 25 people, I won so many games of Scribbleo in a row that the entire Discord vetoed it as a game from now on. We can't play because I thrashed too hard.

It cracked me up because there was one game where they're like, you know what? Fuck first place. The real winner of this game is second. And that's the one time Taylor got second. Yeah. He won. I don't know if you ever lost a game. I think you did. I think maybe Robot won a game.

He's smart. I was leading in one game, and I felt like I wasn't even wrong. I was just slow. And you dropped to sixth. It's like, holy fuck, being a little bit slow. And I mean like a second and a half, like 1.5 seconds. You need to be within a hundredth of a second or a tenth of a second. And I can't type fast enough to keep up with Taylor.

And I'm not quick enough, I guess, because he dominated. I was part of the veto organization. I was like, hey, everybody gather around. Taylor ain't here yet. But you remember what happened last time. You guys got 25 people, though, together. You guys should be doing Unreal Tournament 2001, setting up private lobby.

That's sick. Some of these people are on their phone and tracking. Some boomer shoot. They are on their cell phone. One guy livestreams while he does landscaping. The other guy runs farms. In Hawaii. It's been a while since anyone had sex on the call.

Yeah, we used to have. Was there sex on the call? Really awkward sex, Taylor. It was heterosexual sex. Let me just say, if anybody's out there and you want to come put on a fuck show in our hangouts, we could probably get you a discount, slide you in there. It'd be good advertising. Think about it this way.

Think about it this way. You got 25 guys in there who all plunked down $50 just to hang out with the three of us. Just imagine what they would pay to watch you and your lady get after it. You could come in there, put on a little awkward fuck show, and I'll tell you what else. It would be so awkward. Taylor hates it. Taylor gets all red-faced and fidgety. He's just like, oh, maybe we play a little.

Scribble-o, anyone? Scribble-o? Scribble-o, anyone? No names? Anything? all red-faced and fidgety and he's just like oh maybe we play a little uh all right me and you squibbio 1v1 private chat let's get out of here you can see the difference in like attitudes towards this stuff between taylor and i because taylor is like this is inappropriate i'm like i agree this camera should be three feet to the right i can't see what I'm looking for. It's all cock and ass from here. You got to lift your leg. But now you guys will never beat the allegations if one day a 17-year-old comes and joins the game. We ID.

Oh, you can't be 17 and come play Scribbly-O? No, you got to be an adult. Somebody tried to join early once. Or young, I should say not early We're adults only That's what's crazy PKA's doing it the doc can do it So fucking crazy right

It's not hard just keep it So it's all adults It's easy not hard Taylor you ever have to ID a young lady No No cause I'm not dancing around with fucking girls who are on that border. That's crazy.

No, to be honest, a girl could be 25. A girl could be visibly 25. I would check that ID. Really? Visibly 25? Yeah, even if I'm like for sure, there's no shot. Because

my buddy put it once in it i think it's accurate he's like you know you know when they're when they're young like because their face is this big and that's true like their face is literally that big and he's always said he's always like i don't like little faces i like women i don't like little faces like that that's true the face is I don't like little faces like that. I'm sure the face is little. Once you said that, I always thought. But even if it's like not a little face,

I'm still like, yeah, I would be like, yeah, we check the ID here like this. You know, I mean, I haven't really been in the situation. Taylor doesn't give a damn. He doesn't even look at the ID. Because once dating apps came out, like the age was there, you know, like it was a thing. How do dating apps came out, the age was there. It was a thing. How do dating apps age check people?

What's to stop a 16-year-old from getting on Tinder? I think I had to take a picture of my ID last time I was on it. Yeah, you take a picture of your ID and then a picture of your face, and they have to match. Yeah, yeah. And it's a little fidgety. So it would tell you if like if you were like a verified account and so like if you if you like uploaded a picture of your id and then it was like hold your face hold your camera up and it'll take a picture of your face it'll like confirm

like all right this is the same person that's on the id and then you get a little check mark or whatever it is next to your your name so you can tell who's verified i had that on twitter so that you could uh like collect monetization from it um it does that thing it's like prepare your uh passport and be in a lit up room because we're about to fucking film everything bro uh but it's crazy because you do that and you did it for the dating app and all of that information got sent to uh massad agents yes and uh when you say anything bad on on social media like uh like you don't want to give any more of your money they're gonna know that it was you yeah and uh and just watch out for your phone bro they're gonna frame me no they're your phone they're

gonna fucking they're gonna blow your head up. I've been 3D scanned. Is this for the prison thing? Or the gun thing? Oh, that was a different kind of scan. That's just to make sure you don't have anything in your butthole. So when you go to prison, one of the things I was dreading the most about opening that first day of prison

was the shakedown where they're going to look in my butthole or something. I didn't know what the process was. I've just seen movies. But it was a medical scanner. You just walk in front of a medical scanner or whatever. And I was like, this is the best prison. Hey Kyle, my name is medical scanner.

On TV they have you bend over and spread your cheeks. Nothing like that, no. Yeah, maybe it used to be? Oh, I'm sure. I bet it still is in certain places. I know that it still is in certain places at every level of penitentiary, but

they had a scanner at this place, at this federal place, and not only was it better for me, it's better for them, right? Because they know. There's nothing way up there, Morty. There could be.

There's not, though. They could see through my body. With the medical scanner, you know. Yeah, I could see my organs and shit. No, I'm getting out my fucking shoehorn and taking a look. They showed me the scan. We're looking at it happen on the screen, and it's like, that's fucking cool.

I'm like, so no butthole stuff? Could you see your dick on the scan? Oh, yeah. You could see everything. It was three-dimensional. Yeah. Did you fluff a little before you got in there? Just so you could impress the guard?

Dude, I was walking into prison day one. I was hard as a rock. Hard as a rock. Good for rock good for you exerting dominance i said yeah i took three blue chew got her got her got her good fired up before i walked in the door i wanted everybody to know i was yeah that you were down for whatever was on whatever was coming my way i was gonna be up for it yeah yeah no you could absolutely see your dick in the in the thing i think you could even see your dick in the thing. I think you could even see poop in my digestive tract. That's cool. Little did they know that poop they saw was going to be there for the next week.

They do a scan as I leave. I'm like, what in the fuck? It's like that King of the Hill episode where he gets an impact. I recognize this corn. I recognize this cord. That's how you know that mental stuff really does have massive physical effects

that are outside of what's actually going on in the room, whether it's hot or cold or whatever. I was so goddamn stressed out. I've never been constipated in my life. Ever. But weeks of not shitting

it was just absurd i'd never been constipated in my life and then i was like constipated like three times in the last five years usually from flying but like i i was just like so this is it i honestly didn't really believe anyone before. There was a grand conspiracy. Come on. You can't shit. You guys must not get injured a lot. You come out of surgery that I don't know what they put in you. The narcotics, the Oxycontin.

I don't know what it is, but it constipates the fuck out of me. Yeah. Yeah. So now I've got like a broken leg and toilet problems. I'm not digging it. Like, yeah, I can't remember the last time I was constipated. It was probably if I was a kid and couldn't shit. I don't even remember.

I don't think I have been. If I have a shit issue, it's because it's coming out right just now. Even then, that doesn't happen ever, really, because I'm an adult who you shit in the the morning and that kind of takes care of that. I'm going to send you some poorly made chili. We can ruin anybody with this shit. What kind of beans is she putting in that chili? Fucking poison beans.

I don't know. Imagine beans. They grow beanstalks in your goddamn belly. They're terrible. I make a damn good chili. I feel like I need to send over a recipe. Dude, I went to... It was a party for paramotor people

and they had chili there. And everyone's joking. Everyone's seen the video. They're all like, Woody, they got chili here. It's like, no, no, no, no. You don't get it. I like chili. I think chili's great. You've never had my wife's chili it's a different thing you wouldn't like it did you ever like just get to the bottom of what she was doing so incorrectly i just turned that hose off we just we just thought like i don't want to keep messing he was talking so much shit on her chili and she had snuck up right behind him for to listen to it

all it was that was a fun moment it was hilarious yeah because it's hard to fuck up chili because you know it's just like beans and ground beef and and chili tomato paste yeah yeah there's not a lot of stuff i put i put a cocoa powder in mine why we're Worcestershire sauce. It adds an added depth of flavor, Taylor. It's delicious. Okay. I believe you. It does. I'm not a big chili guy.

I like bell peppers. I like bell peppers in there. I don't like chili very much. I put some jalapenos in mine. I like it to be really fucking spicy. It's just kind of like gruel. You like a sloppy joe, though? What if you put on a sandwich no

no sloppy joes are just worse than burgers in every measurable way burgers beat the shit out of a sloppy joe it's just a worse burger that take that you get messy eating it doesn't have cheese on it fuck it no no no turkey sandwich is the worst burger too but i still fuck with turkey sandwiches you know that's fair but yeah no the sloppy i guess it's because all my sloppy joe memories come from like grade school lunches because it was something my mom never made ever i was physically in a in a not such a cool place whenever i was eating a sloppy joe to be honest whenever when i think of sloppy joe i do think it enhances the bun right a burger only has a negative effect is that awful oil drips into the bun but a sloppy joe can turn the bun into a treat too oh i love that awful oil

yeah i've been making the awful oil also yeah the awful oil i do but i do agree that you do like i you know like a sloppy joe you don't even have to eat it like a burger you could just like i don't like overly messy burgers like you just chop up the bun we've all seen those videos that are like engaged where it'll show some delicious looking burger on a brioche bun right here bro perfect and then someone dumps like nacho cheese on the top of it and then cuts it through the middle as it's sopping and disgusting cheese. That's literally me. You've ruined the burger.

You've ruined it. You've taken something fun and easy to eat and you've made an ordeal out of it. Now you've put me on a timer to eat this before it becomes a sopping wet. Am I the only one that's completely unfamiliar with this genre of videos? Kyle talks about the try-on girls. I'm like, yeah, I'm three weeks in front of you on this one. Taylor talks about pouring cheese on food.

What? This is what you're watching? I don't know what you're talking about. It's all over social media. It's all I'm serving. They're just burger abomination videos. I've been making Italian beef. I've made it twice now. It looked good. It looked very good. I was watching that show. Can you show my Italian beef, Zach zach it's just the stuff like it's just like a like an uh age gauge gated kyle's

italian beef i've been watching that show um the bear and and they run like an italian beef oh man that looks a lot better on my phone i saw a thing that was like it was a clip for a picture of him yelling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was like, ah, he's like, someone ordered food from my restaurant. Ah. But yeah, I think Taylor was talking about this. Yeah.

I just linked in there. Let me show it. I know the guy. It'll be okay. Okay. Oh, shit. i know the guy it'll be okay okay the first burger that first clip at the beginning i think it'll uh yeah play right here all bad burgers all that just that one where it's leaking jesus christ yeah yeah that juicy lucy with was the food on your show often not very fun to eat the ingredients were fun so like 90 of the time putting it together you were eating the components you know like throughout the day like that big ass ugly ass burger there was patties and cheese being made from the beef and so we would eat burgers because we're here for like 10 hours sometimes you know um where we got a

bunch of food but yeah there was some shit ones there was some straight up fully like compromised unsafe shit honestly like i i i think we noped out on eating that sled of meat that we fed those people in Killington. Like, we sort of let them go at it like a group of wolves. And they, I mean, they really went at it. Some of those guys were so into what they were doing, like ripping and tearing meat with their bare hands. And it was a bit much forever forever you smashing a glass bottle you guys you and uh muscles glasses like doing the whole fucking knife and the glass bottle and scooping it like it's just insane every time i watch it back oh super but i can't talk i literally can't

talk about anything and i bring it up every single time can't talk about anything without and how crazy you are other than the fucking door flying by you that fucking truck door that flies right by you i think about that shit like whenever i'm like ah this is crazy it's crazy that like this fucking breaking the glass to eat is like this truck door flew by you like it was so close and you stood there and didn't move an inch dimitri didn't move an inch he's a sick he says look at that crazy an inch an inch one inch was moving i was smiling at the camera yeah because you know in that moment, part of it is like, oh, this is going to be a great clip. Yeah, my only thought in that moment is, did that hit anybody behind me?

Because there's eight people there or something like that. There's like a high-speed photographer. Who else did it miss? How close? It must have gone close to the cameraman. We had new cameramen there that day. I had like three or four high speed guys working that day that I had only used that one time that I had never met them before. Like this is their introduction to what we do here.

And it's my great hope that they're going to want to work with me more. You know what I mean? I'm selling myself as much as they're selling themselves. You know, I'm hoping we forge a relationship because they're like 40 minutes away and they do high speed shit and richard ryan is like in la so you know that door went by them and uh i just the guy just went holy shit and i'm just like is everybody okay? Yeah, yeah. They're like, we're leaving. And Gator was like, I got it. No. No, no. They were $5,000 a day anyway.

And something like that's considered a faux pas. They consider that an oversight. Oh, this is my favorite story. See, that's safe. I don't know if I can tell it. Oh, well, yeah. You can tell it. Yeah.

But that's not the exact moment. I think you've told this story on the show. Zach, if you want to find the clip from the actual video where the gun goes up into the air, if you can find that moment, but tell it, Woody. I guess so. So, FPS Russia shooting the gun. It's just fully automatic.

It shoots big old rounds. I don't know how far does a round go, Kyle. Five miles? About seven and a half miles. That's so crazy. How big is it, by the way? 40 millimeter. The bullet is about as long as your forearm is.

You know like 40 millimeter grenade launcher? This is a 40 millimeter anti-aircraft gun. It was on battleships And stuff It was one of the smaller armaments There you go So There's a dial on the side

Near his knee And I guess you're supposed to hold that while you operate the gun But he didn't know that Hopefully I'm telling all this right And by not holding it Every time the gun fires It kind of goes a little higher So FPS Russia shoots it hopefully i'm telling all this right yeah and by not holding it every time the gun fires it kind of goes a little higher a little higher a little higher a little higher so fps russia shoots it and

they get a really good take and he's you know it's pretty badass and then after the camera stops he's like why is it pointing up now oh i knew what was pouring up i said where the fuck did that go i just see that's one you can see it went up a little bit um and then he's like what's over there and i think the answer was nashville or something like that it was like horse farms i'll be honest listen i know it's weird because it was like my heyday too but like i think i would say this anyways this is peak youtube right here yeah it's like because it was like my heyday too but like i think i would say this anyways this is peak youtube right here yeah it's like peak so there's a little so there's tell i did some editing there right yes i saw the gun barrels the gun barrel went one it hit the barrels then the second shot

cut a tree in half the third shot hit the top of those trees and then the fourth or fifth or whatever went off into the distance miles and miles away but obviously i edit the top of those trees. And then the fourth or fifth or whatever went off into the distance miles and miles away. But obviously I edit the impacts of them just like hammering home safely and the berm and everything. You know that video there and you're like about to shoot the mannequin and you're like, wait,

put an Afro on it. Why Kyle? And you're like, shut up and put an Afro on it. I'm like, why, Kyle? And you're like, shut up! I put an afro on it! I can remember consoling Kyle. I was never as big as you guys, but when I was at my own peak,

everybody hated me. There were channels dedicated to just tearing me down and it sucked. I remember I was talking to Kyle once and I'm like, man, it's kind of rough over here everyone's giving me a hard time and he's like here look i'm making getting the details wrong but he's like i'm a soldier of fortunes unsafe operator of the month i was like all right i'll follow your lead yeah They named me the irresponsible gun owner of the day. You're like, that's the point.

So I made a shirt that said irresponsible gun owner and sold thousands of them. Nice. That's how you win. I don't know. I lost my ear. They were mad about not using safety gear but part of the joke initially especially was i was using gaming headsets instead of ear pro and i just thought that was so funny like even if nobody got that joke it tickled me so much to have i would have tritons on and like

like shooting machine guns or then and then the next we gotta have turtle b i had every headset i had i'd have like gunner glasses remember that era of gunner glass i wore those i wore those yeah that was another like this is so funny to wear my normie friends thought gunner glasses were the funniest things ever like they saw it once like gunner glasses and i was like yeah it's supposed to be good for gaming or something and my that blew my friends away they were like what the fuck i have a friend that today in 2024 like we'll be gaming on discord and like sometimes we'll have our cameras on like chatting hanging out and like we'll be about to like start playing aoe or whatever and i'll see him like put his yellow tinted I'm going to be like you're such a normal guy are they still in business?

yeah did you ever meet with those people? me? yeah dude I have a big beef with them did they not pay you? they interrupted him so I'm like 38 at this point or something like that and i'm in the call of the remember that million dollar contest they had i was in the first one and uh when you when you all the

all the contestants got like a goodie bag or something so we're in this long line me and all the kids who are you know playing this game and uh you know i'm i'll wait and i wait and whatever like six minutes later and it's my turn and they're like no and i'm like what and like it's just for contestants and i'm like i am a contestant and it non-verbally it was like whatever dad you're not getting a goodie bag and that was that like they just wouldn't believe that i was so annoying about that is all those kids at that call to determine are all became millionaires millionaires like phase clan stocks and all that jazz and you know 100 thieves and whatnot

and those little fuckers got the gunners and you didn't that's why they got for good with the gunners so they like later i was like i'd forget it like i'm no longer a fan of gunners i'm off they're not cool to me anymore and they to say they begged is is just fucking true they begged to get me back on and i was like i don't know if that will suffice as an apology no i was embarrassed you know and humiliated in front of we will never work together again and stuck to it so i turned down 360 it's gonna be with my own 7th street a bag we're done here no he wasn't in it no i don't think he was i remember that show um or maybe i do that's the one that was like he was in la i think it was the was this an alky it was like in this weird building

that that that division it it was it was at the um is that we're talking about yeah it was at a it was that the first codex yeah yeah yeah i remember that thing yeah i remember the vip room being being super lame i remember uh i remember there was some kind of controversy about somebody didn't get let in there was always some kind of fucking silly high school drama which i thought was hilarious because you had this mixture of like 17 16 year old gamers with all the way up to like got you were the senior i think uh tour guy at the time at 30 at the ripe age of 38 but but like it was funny to see drama amongst such a diverse group of like ages and and peoples and it was constant it was funny i remember um i forget who it was fisticuffs fisticuffs started making hate videos

about me and he called me titties for like eight months and apparently he saw someone with like man tits and this machinima directors like in real life event and uh it wasn't even me i didn't go to that event yeah but he was convinced that that person was me and called me titties for the longest time and it was like it was not even me like you're the idiot but there was a childhood drama i saw this clip it was like from a call of duty tournament this guy on the opposite teams they were beefing he was like yeah kill yourself there's there's old titties thanks zach that's zach screensaver you must whack off in the mirror these days. That was a fast bring up. A little too fast. Whack off in the mirror.

He just went F6. Yeah. Of course. In the gym, there's mirrors everywhere. How's he going to look at your form? The backstroke. Yeah, the backstroke. That's exactly it.

You guys ever go to Topgolf? No. But I want to. I love Topgolf. That's exactly it. You guys ever go to Topgolf? No. But I want to. It looks fun. It's so fun. It's just a driving range, but they have, like, goofy little games to play here in a booth. And the waitress comes by and brings you, like, alcohol or, you know. What kind of games do they make out of driving?

Well, you could hit it into these different holes. So if you randomly just hit it and you're not that good, it's going to still give you you some points so it's kind of like bowling with your friends and none of you are good bowlers like who knows who's just going to have a great day today um and it's just fun because you're there but they do have like angry birds so you can hit the ball and there's a screen there that shows you where the castle would be so your ball is going to hit something and also it's like luck based too you know what I mean but yeah there's just different a ton of different sounds like the peggle of golf

like peggle is awesome peggle is a great game love peggle would you rather have a guy out there in like a costume talking shit like yeah but there's a car there is a car always scooping the balls up and they're like don't aim at the car you can aim at the car.

Everyone. You get no points, but they should make it for points. There's no association between where I aim and where the ball goes. Yeah. I think it should be another service. Another service. Like, you can go to Topgolf, or you can go to Bottomgolf. And Bottomgolf is you put on a suit, and you run out there

and get hit by the balls. Oh, I thought it was going to be, like, for gay guys. You guys can go to Topgolf, too. Welcome to Bottomgolf. Yeah, you guys can go to Topgolf. If I were gay, I would only go to Topgolf. That's the gay guy I would be. You'd be the top?

Maybe I'd go to Powerbottomgolf. That's after you've mastered Topgolf, though. Is a Powerbottom just bottoms complimenting themselves? No, they're producing a lot of the movement and then flow down there. How much of that is bottom propaganda though? It's all power bottom.

That's what Big Bottom wants you to believe. That's right. I just remember that episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Where they were defining what a power. And the guy wasn't gay. The guy wasn't gay. I think that's what it turned out to be.

I've been watching old sunnies, and there's an episode where Mac and Charlie fake their own death because Mac's father's supposedly going to come kill him. And they go to a pawn shop and get a gun, a grenade, a wedding dress, and poppers. That's their shopping list. Max wearing the wedding dress, shooting the gun at a car while Charlie holds poppers to his nose. I was like, I have forgotten that this... I waited long enough between rewatches.

It's an inhalant type sex drug that's pretty popular with homosexuals. I thought it was the small confetti thing, the children's parties. Those are also poppers. Those are party poppers. Although if you Google popper party on the internet, not party poppers, you might get a different view. Poppers themselves are to make your dick hard, right? No, not only is it giving you a euphoric head rush type thing, it's loosening your butthole

and making it easier for entry potentially. Or your vagina, you know? There's a whole subreddit. I don't have a vagina. First of all, it's a front hole. Let's not be discriminatory. Okay. I'm comfortable.

Welcome to 2024, bigot. I'll do that. I'm cool with that. A front hole? Who says that? I've been calling a lot of people they them. They absolutely do say that. Who? Like the far progressive loons?

Yeah, absolutely. People who don't identify as... Non-ministrating persons. That's who you are. That's so insane. Disney executives. Yeah, that shit's not happening here in Missouri. That's what everybody says in the fucking front hall. We'll see.

Disney is going to buy Missouri and make you gay. They better not. Better not make us gay. Well, then you better vote. I hear next year is Pride year. You know, that's what I've been saying to myself. Not enough of our year is about niche

political causes. There needs to be more. Why just February for Black History? Let's give them a whole quarter. How about that? A quarter of what? They can have... Just a quarter? 25 cents?

Not until Israel is defeated. No, I think every month should be Israeli funding month. I guess it is. But... You gotta let one of these go. You can't hold on to all of these fucking personal... You gotta let one of them go and you can't hold on to all of these fucking personal...

You gotta let one of them go, and you know it's Israel. Okay? Taylor, if you had to put money on it right now, who are you voting on? Do you think it's Trump or Biden, most likely? Who do I think is going to win? What do you think? Yeah, skew it percentage-wise. Like, if you had 52-48, what do you think the skew is? Do I have to pick between biden and trump or can i

throw it i would i would ask you to choose between trump and you disregard trump and democrat okay i'm gonna say oh i'm gonna say 55 percent democrat 45 percent trump really you think trump's the underdog right now i do yeah i think significantly it's a lot of time to to pass and you know it the democrats can put someone else in because i'd rather trump win so maybe i'm just being pessimistic and not looking at it but yeah i'm the inverse of you in every way i would rather the democrats win but i'm 55 trump will okay but like i i won't i wouldn't be blown away to see either one. It doesn't seem like anyone has a big lead here. I think that Trump hasn't named his VP yet,

and as long as he doesn't do anything stupid with his VP pick, I think it lights out, because the VP debate comes up at some point, right? And Vivek Ramaswamy would wipe the fucking floor with Kamala. I keep getting corrected on how to pronounce her name, but I don't mean to disrespect when I call her Kamala. I just thought that was her fucking made-up, stupid name. I think it is Kamala. Kamala's the right...

Kamala. Kamala. Like the punctuation Kamala. Kamalot. Kamalot. Anyway, I think Ramaswamy wipes the floor with her. She seems like a little slow to me. Like she wouldn't

Here's what happens in Woody World. 1% chance of it being right. Kamala does well in the debate against Trump and Buttigieg wipes out Vivek. Well Kamala doesn't debate Trump though. Who does she debate? What if she was running for president?

Oh you think they're going to pull Joe? She's too unpopular. Why would they pick her? Because she has the infrastructure in place. She gets all the money that was currently donated to the same campaign. Does this involve 25th Amendment-y? Like pulling Joe out of office? No, I think he just announces he's not going to run again,

and they let him gracefully be a one-term president. Don't you think that him admitting that he can't continue to run is him admitting he can't fulfill his office right this moment? Yeah, we already know. You know what? There were people who made that argument, but you could easily say, I just don't see myself being ready for four more years.

He wants to spend time with his family. You don't have much more left, or you can remember which one's which, Joe. Get the fuck out of here. Seemingly kind of past that point. It looked bad, man. You think Trump would end the war in Russia?

I hope so. By what? Giving Russia everything they want? It's like Ronald Reagan said. You can have peace and you can have it today. All you need to do is surrender. Yeah, hopefully he would slow down funding wars all over the planet.

That'd be a good win. But, you know, I don't even know. He's like, he's big Israel. He loves Israel. He's big Israel. He's a huge fan. He wouldn't pull funding out of that conflict.

I'm trying to point at Taylor. It's so hard. You're so far in the wrong direction. That's not where you are on my screen? No, you need to go towards your microphone. Total opposite. You're pointing off of the sound. I'm pointing to where I see you.

I see you there. I got him here. That's me, dude. That's me, dude. What is over there? That's me. Yo, Mishad, if you're listening, dude, I don't know why he's pointing at me. I'm one of you.

It is hard. I can do Taylor. He's simple. Kyle's this way. It's really harder than you think. This is... Jesus Christ, I can't. All right.

Yeah, but like... I think right now, I think that it's, there's an incredible amount of people watching. That would be like, how the hell did the president Ramaswamy, Zach timestamp, the beginning of this conversation through my words up till now.

No, literally like, well, this, this is the kind of thing that would get us like actually banned. So dude, talking about it, but about doing that to a president, I'm 100% serious. Talking about it hypothetically happening, I think that's just fine.

Have you seen people on Twitter having the fucking FBI come to their house? Some Democrat staffer said something along the lines of what you guys just said and had the FBI knocking on his door. They talked about a hypothetical scenario where one president... Yeah, take it out. I like coming to the country. I got trips coming up. Literally, yeah. And this is a bit... So, no, this

whole section has to be... Yeah, keep this party where I'm being... Big Taylor! Big Taylor silencing! Big Taylor shutting down conversation. Can I have the floor for a second? So, we had to change topics. We were worried that this would get us in trouble with the law. Harley, if you could download a talent like the Matrix, what would you pick?

Language. Which one? Multi-lingual. No, I'm just the linguist now. Oh. Even if we found an ancient language text, I could be like, give it here, I'll read it. Not even like, what about just super intelligence?

Then that would apply to everything and you can still- Unfortunately for super intelligence, like a lot of people that are extremely high IQ, they have a higher, like I don't want to misquote, like I love doing on the show apparently, but there's been a lot of cases of people where the higher iq doesn't result in higher happiness or higher income in fact it's it's almost like uh paralyzing in some ways and ignorance is bliss

i'm on i'm on a good level of intelligence uh you know i want to be able to make the jokes in chinese now okay you speak a language to to people like that's the fastest way to endear yourself to get to connect with someone like if you speak that language if someone sounds like you it's crazy even if you said but like you said i can't download like a superpower right this is just a right right yeah i'm not gonna make you super strong but like mine was i was thinking of a passive income thing, right? This is just a skill. Right, right. I'm not going to make you super strong, but mine was, I was thinking of a passive income thing. What if I was just a genius at day trading? Is that possible?

No. Or just stocks? Oh, actually, yeah. Math, like a math. So you're choosing math. Economics. Right? Maybe various parts of economics.

Yeah. Maybe if you became a genius at that, you could read the market. Some people seem to have a knack for reading the tea leaves that is the stock market and making more money than others. Like, if I could download that, it seems like I could be a nice way to get more cash. You know, there's a Kamala Harris crypto coin. You might want to jump into that.

I mean, I'm getting good vibes on it right now. I know what you're saying. There was a character. I think it was in Silicon Valley, and I i'm gonna butcher it a little bit but he was uh he was like he knew he noticed that there was a sale on the big macs at uh and and burger kings the whoppers and because of the sales like the amount of the buns that were being purchased he noticed that uh the sesame seeds that are on it like and he had connected it to like basically investing or shorting some like a sesame something that would be involved in the the making of sesame seeds and that like proved to be a big windfall for him because he connected those dots while

having a burger at burger king like just that morning so it's kind of like that i guess right what skills would you guys download you want to be a kung fu expert I don't think that's very useful that's beyond useless being able to you could be UFC champ like I guess mind mind reading would be like yeah that's a superpower okay well then like being able being the most persuasive person yeah that's Jewish. That's very, it'd be like, I just stopped paying taxes. And then like the IRS agent comes to my house. And by the end, he's like, see you later,

Taylor. That guy had a lot of good points. Like, I just don't have to deal with, with like anything. Like I go to the bank and I'm like, I want to loan for $10 million. And he's like,

you don't have the assets. And I convince him. But I don't think the most persuasive person on earth can pull off what you're talking about you've gone well you can't do it in italy and i can almost superpower you're right you can't even speak italian so how are you gonna do it there i want the languages to you know like like there's there is no person on this planet that speaks every language that isn't one of those rain man characters who can't leave their house if it's not raining or something weird he's trying to fuck in every country i imagine you could you could be an interpreter for some really powerful cool people and you'd be like hanging with them going to do cool rich and powerful international

man of mystery type shit when you needed to go to like china and speak to someone and then bounce over to bangladesh and no regional dialect you're gonna be setting your tinder for mexico like te gusta i wasted on spanish but you know superpowers i thought a lot about superpowers like a long time me too so many of them are are bad or, like super strength. Yeah. The laser eye guy, just a huge thing. I always wanted from the X-Men Morph,

because his power was turning into any mutant he wanted and seemingly just having their power, but to a less effective degree because it's not something he's an expert at doing. Suddenly he just has weather powers. He might not be as good as Storm, but for all sense of purposes, he might not be as good as storm but for all sense of purposes he's storm same thing as mystique i want to download everything there is

to know about sex so i can prove to myself that the female orgasm is not a myth what do you want what skill do you want download sex what excuse me all sex I already know everything sex. I do all the sex. I just want to be horny. If you ask me this question at nine, eight, seven, or thirteen... You want to download all the sex

files I have. Now it matches greatly. You could have downloaded any skill and you downloaded porn just i want to know where the clit is i've always wondered how about i get to be like a fucking gordon rams no a chef that makes gordon ramsay look like a a scrub that's really cool also you know what that's an even that's an even deeper level of linguist you can now connect with everyone on the planet,

but you make them that dish, whatever dish that it was, exactly how they did it in the old country. Yeah. That'd be a good skill. And that's a whole job right there. Now you make delicious, tasty food. People like you.

You could work 80 hours a week in a kitchen with that. I'm suffering from success. Superpower, if you could fly, you'd be freezing cold and having bugs smash into your eyeballs. Super strength, like you break someone's arm when you give them a high five when you're drunk. People underestimate how much flying would suck. Unless it comes with a host of other things.

You choose teleport over flying yeah you want to go somewhere temperature changes because it's fucking freezing you're not going to like anything like if you've ridden a motorcycle in the rain you'll know that's horrible so now you need some sort of like super body suit or impervious to pain and damage like you have to have the other stuff superman has for flying be interesting. And then unless you're flying at crazy speeds, also Superman stuff, if you're just flying at like 100 miles an hour, you've solved the transportation problem you don't even have. You are currently in a car with an overpowered heater and air conditioner

rolling along at 80. What, are you going to pack on another 20 miles an hour and suffer? You're telling me I need a super suit. It doesn't sound like a big ask. I i i just feel like i put on my rocket man suit that protects me from you know high temperatures and low temperatures has some o2 in it if i need it aerodynamic teleportation would be scary though like because you don't want to phase through someone yeah you don't want to phase into something that's why instead of teleport dr strange portals are superior you create doorways so that you can go and the best thing about that is you could like uh take someone with you uh to be like you want to go to spain for lunch right now and dude i

would love that how cool would it be to like bounce over to france and have their bread and come back it'd be very cool um i think make me taylor swift then instead if you're thinking that if you had like the ability to read minds you would definitely hear things that you never wanted to hear yeah like it would like ignorance once again choose ignorance if you can uh Have it be selective. So like you're not always bombarded by people's thoughts. You can just decide like, all right, what's this person thinking right now? What are you curious into?

Yeah. You can hear your pets all the time now. I didn't even think about that. With these rageful, weird, primitive thoughts. Hunger! Hunger! Hunger master! You're right. I don't think you could have a successful relationship. Why have you abandoned me? Father!

Could you have a good relationship with your girlfriend or wife if she couldn't have private thoughts? Like, you don't want to. Yeah, you don't want that. That's true. It's a little bit of a monkey's paw. I did settle on, I ultimately decided a very boring superpower, but I think you guys might vibe with it.

And the superpower I chose, it sounds so lame, but it shouldn't affect life too much. Because just like in video games, I think if you put on too serious of a cheat code, the game sucks now. So this one's just like a little quality of life one, and it is the power of sleep. And the way it works is you don't have to sleep, but you could sleep.

And when you choose to sleep, you could choose to sleep for six hours at a time. Or you can go the rest of your life without ever sleeping at all. And you can just literally work another part-time job if you wanted. You could do any. You could learn a language. It's essentially extending your life by a third. You could learn a language learn the language yeah you're getting yeah even more a third to some people a half you spend like half your life sleeping now you don't have to but you still get that time travel aspect if you got a 20-hour flight you know yeah i don't remember the last time i slept for eight hours in a row like i've done it like one out of one in a hundred days maybe i'll sleep for that's eight hours that's interesting so you don't stop aging but

you can kind of hibernate like if you wanted to fly to australia to you it could be yeah snap exactly and you know you're like eight hours and then you wake up that's the technology we need by the way like the tech we need is that freezing you and unfreezing you tech. That hibernation bit where somehow they pump us full of antifreeze, some sort of non-kill you antifreeze. Yeah, Israel's trying to do that right now. Keep sending the money. They put it in three body products. I know about the skin bank.

Don't you underplay that. Oh, the skin bank's crazy. It's like Ed Williams and his frozen decaf. They don't like talking about their skin banks. In three body problem, it was cool because it was expensive to do that hibernation yeah but if you're wealthy you can sort of almost choose any time period you want to live in provided that it's in the future you could maybe let your investments grow if you think you're strong yeah i hope it doesn't suck yeah i mean you know i i like the space travel aspect of it i love the idea of just going to sleep and waking up in orbit of a fucking planet 800 years away from here scary

yeah it is i always yeah but if it doesn't work out to sleep and head to the next one right like don't wake me up unless it's not scary right oh i think you could go to sleep and then it just doesn't work out. Well, we were heading into that direction anyway, right? It's like surgery. This isn't my job. I really have no concerns here, except I hope it's all cool on the other side.

I want it to be a proven tech. I'd want them to have woken some people up over some long periods of time and then to have no cognitive decline and maybe you get to see someone get thought out live the rest of their normal life because you never know what's down the line Star Trek

Did you guys see Zax? All clothes become see-through when you focus That costs about $35,000 You can get a little thermal sight, monocular and just really go through an entire layer of clothing. Nah.

You don't even like the try-on, girls. Homo. I absolutely did. You showed me the video of that woman's fucking pussy lips from behind. Right on YouTube, right next to cooking instructions. Oh, man. I'm so into the try-on, girls. It's like my favorite thing now.

I'm on there looking for new talent all the time. Just new talent. Yeah, yeah. There's some real showstoppers on there. There are some really hot fucking naked ladies on YouTube. It's better than Born Up. Dude, being a hot girl is a cheat code in life nowadays. It is so easy to make some money if you're pretty good.

I hear you, but I feel like there's more avenues that have opened up in the last few years. Men used to have their own cheat code, but they took it from us. Yeah. What is it? I don't know. Now that I think about it, it's just seeming a lot like rape, and I don't like where this is headed. Oh, I thought it was about voting or something.

Yeah, let's make it about that. Mine went in a different direction. I'm also bad. Did you see that in the U.S. now, this is recent, that women are in several states. Women are signed up for the Selective Service now automatically. Interesting enough, California and New York are not among the states where women are automatically signed up for Selective Service.

You can guess the states that are like all the good ones you know all the good guys the floridas the georgia georgia's the north carolina it's like we're all signing them up i'm so sorry i got distracted by this like sneaky porn on youtube that they try they're like trying on a robe and then they act like they're trying on a robe and then they get wet they like go in the shower yeah I want to show you what it looks like wet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's part of the purchasing matrix. This person has 2 million views in 2 days. I wonder what kind of ads they get on this.

Is this person... Sometimes they're demonetized, but they have OnlyFans that they're linking you to. Hang on. I'm going to try to find the goat and show him her. Is it the same video you showed us yeah yeah yeah do you have it somewhere no but that was wild oh now i want it more than ever bro let me tell you yeah it's it's basically just a naked pullman on youtube

and you're like how'd you get here yeah but that's the thing is like here oh my god but what if fps russia sees the comment i i went i i watched that video like two days ago and the top one of the one of the comments was thanks kyle and it was like eight thumbs up that's funny well you guys want to call the show i'm scrolling through the naked women and you guys want to call it a show I'm scrolling through the naked women and you're wanting to duck alright we just talked about this alright check out Parley

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