Pappy's Flatshare - Beef Brothers Cold Cuts w/ Adam Buxton S10E20

Episode Date: May 18, 2020

The Beef Brothers are here to sort out your beef with special guest Adam BuxtonAdam Buxton - https://adam-buxton.co.uk/Pappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetIf you have a flatshare based beef you'd like us to solve then send it to [e-mail] us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareProduced by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman planting her course to freedom. A pap in love for it. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things.

It's like theaters for December 15. Greetings, listener dear, I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I am Matthew and welcome to an episode of Papi's Flat Share Beef Brothers Cold Cuts. Beef Brothers Sonning, let your briefs cold cuts. Cold cuts. Oh, I love it there.

We're sorting out them briefly, briefs. We're not just sorting out your beefs anymore, we're going into your underwear drawer and having a little rummage. But don't worry, only to like Marie Condoet and roll them all up nice and small and stack them. In factage. But don't worry, only to like Marie Condo and roll them all up, nice and small and stack them. In fact, we talk about this later, this is actually trading on the toes of stuff we talk about in the podcast, so let's not waste any more time.

What a treat it is this week, we have one of our podcasting and comedy heroes, Mr. Adam Bugsdon. Yes, enjoy the episode. If you do enjoy this episode, don't forget that if you go to our Patreon for just five dollars and above, you get a free bonus episode every single day. We're doing daily episodes during the lockdown. So get on there now patreon.com forward slash pappies flat share. They're really fun episodes. And we've got about, we're on to about sort of, we're not done any 30 of them now., so loads to listen to. 30,000 episodes. 30,000 episodes to enjoy. Before we get to Adam, I just wanted to read this out

really quickly. Yes, gone. From, we got this message on Twitter at Pappy's tweet, if you want to get in touch. Tips on Twitter, you know, in the Lulu Popper World episode, we were talking about names like Charity Knight. Yes! Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well he gets in touch to say, I used to work with a Hollywood and a Winifred Chimes who went by Win Chimes. Nice. Yeah, any more of those will gratefully accept. Get in touch with us. Beefbrotherspodcastatgmail.com and you can also send all your beefs there as well. But let's get cracking, shall we? Let's listen to the episode. Well, if you've got a problem, I'm calling a problem, if you've got a problem call it a beef. If you've got a beef, maybe we can help you be from the sorting I can be. Hello. Hello.

I'm alright. Look at you with your long, luxuriant hair. I know. This is a proper, I mean, I normally wear it long, but this is really, this is proper lock-down hairdo. Yeah, man, it suits you. You look like podcast Jesus. I'll take that. I'll take that.

We've got that, right? We were recording that. Yeah. Yeah, that's Jesus. And how are you, Ben and Tom? Very well. And Emma, nice to see you. Hello. Hi. It's alright. It's Jesus. And how are you Ben and Tom and Emma nice to see you. Hi.

It's all right. It's all right. Good to go up on the more at the weekend. It's, you know, kill some people. Kill a few people. It always feels like the right place to kill someone or more, doesn't it? Yeah, definitely.

Well, what else do you do on a more? You can kill them and it's slightly romantic at the same time. Yeah, there's a sort of time. It's just love affair aspect to it as well, which is nice. Which is nice. It is nice to have that. It's nice, yeah. It's really nice. How are you doing, Ben? I'm all right, man. Yeah, very good.

I'm just checking. I want to give you an honest answer. Yes, okay. Up and down, you know, I think like everyone else, isn't it? It's sort of good days thinking, yeah, this is nice. And then bad days, you look at the news and you feel bad for people. And then sometimes you feel that you just sort of think, oh, I'm a bit worried and I feel mad. And also, I always make the mistake of looking at the BBC News website first thing in the morning. And I think it's shit, I think it might be shit. Like there's no sort of coherent, they can't really make up their minds if they are the

licksbitls of the government, basically, you know, parroting everything that Boris Johnson says, or are they striking a note of suspicion and dissent, you know, and it leaves me just feeling depressed and confused, basically. So what you really want is, you want to be like in China or somewhere where there's just one source of news. There's no doubt. And it just, there's no, yeah, that's what you don't like is the ambiguity of the news at the moment.

I think that's the thing that is beneath, stop me if we need to just start doing this properly, but that I do think that is part of the thing that no one is really able to talk about, is that, you know, there's a whole program about, oh, why is it going so much better for the people in career? Well because they all fucking do what they're told, that's why. Absolutely. Because everyone in this country and in America are like, no, I'm not fucking doing that, fuck that shit.

Yeah, there's nothing like the pain of immediate death to make you really start listening to the government. Yeah, exactly, but anyway. Makes those haircuts feel less urgent, doesn't it? Oh, it's like... But then, you know, if we were living in North Korea, we'd get the sort of government issue haircut and we wouldn't, there'd be no choice to the matter. You certainly wouldn't be podcast Jesus would you. I wouldn't be podcast Jesus now I'd be podcast

John ill. That's also going on the poster. As long as I have some level of power that's all I care about. Pod John ill. I've got my Joe Rogan microphone. Yeah, I'm just gonna say it today. Are you, yeah, so we do have a lot of in-cells who listen to our podcast, so it's the perfect set up. This is my cheesy DJ recording studio. I've never played that before. You had to say close to hand as well. I know, I've got all these things

that I literally never touch. You're listening know, I've got all these things I literally never touch. You're listening to, I've never played that before. It's not a bad idea for a shot, I quite like that. Or what about, I've never played with that before. That would be a different thing. It's a fruity aversion of it, that would be a little bit later on in the, in the, in the it's ITV2 not BBC 4 Exactly. We would we would yeah, I do like the idea of you get an instrument and you give it to a

Top celebrity that's never played the instrument before and just see how they get on with it. Yes, but you do I've been doing that all my life not that I'm a top celebrity, but I am Surrounded by instruments that I can't play. Have you got anything else you want to give us a bash on? This is my go-to, this is a cue chord and it is really great. I like anything that sort of arpeggiates and creates chords. So you've immediately got just... That's not the demo feature isn't it? A groove, but then you can change the chord.

Oh my god. Oh. And then you can go. Are you going to soundtrack the whole show? That's like... I could do. Quite a professional sounding bed. I mean it's good and it's got several presets and I have just raided that thing this way and that for the last 15 years or something.

How much did that set you back? Because Tom was looking at a guitar the other day and thinking, I think I could learn the guitar in lockdown. Well we've told him he can't. There's no way he can. There's no way Tom's got the musical ability to learn guitar. But that feels like you just pressed a few buttons in it and a sort of serviceable song came out of it. Yeah, I am googling how much a cute, they are also known as Omnicords and you can get more or less expensive versions of them. I mean, they're basically about 150 quid or something. It's not the end of the world.

50 quid, well that's 50 quid from me. 50 quid from Clarky, 50 quid from you Adam. We could give, sort this out, give Parry a nice lockdown presence. Yeah. Playing guitar, my son is right now having a guitar lesson with one of our friends who is in Birmingham and I was supposed to be doing it with him but I forgot I was talking to you guys

and he is supposedly learning how to play guitar so yeah people are doing it well it's nice to know that you've decided to do this rather than spend quality time with your son oh no yeah I've had made a Steve you've thrown a little bit of guilt into the whole recording now like I will like, I will space to spend time with my son, but now I've got to chat to you guys. We've had too much quality time recently. Last night, my son, my elder son and my wife gathered together and we watched a film called A Vengement.

Have you seen that? No. It was described as John Wick on a micro budget. Great. But it's more violent than that. Like, it's ridiculously violent. And there's almost no story whatsoever. It's like, he's a ghost of prison

and he's brother on the outside, arranges for all the villains in a prison to kill him in case he glasses him up. So every day he's in prison, in a prison to kill him in case he loses him up. So every day's in prison, people can't try and smash his face in, but he turns himself into a fighting machine, and he fights back and he kills most of them, and then eventually breaks out of prison and goes to find his brother

and kill him and load of other blocs in a pub. And that's basically it. And it's just swearing and extreme violence for an hour and a half. So, solving. After that, we'd all had enough of each other, me and my wife and my son just need some time part. This seems to come up a lot on the podcast,

but what like, if you ended up in prison? Yeah, when you end up in prison, what kind of a prisoner do you think you're gonna, I mean, do you think you've got it in your back pocket to turn into a fighting machine? That's exactly what I was thinking about while I was watching. How do you not think about that when you're watching a film like that?

Yeah. I think I would be a kind of, Yeah, I think I would be a kind of, I'd be probably a sort of weasily fix it guy. I'd be just trying to, I'd be sliming around trying to ingratiate myself and doing deals, or I'd be just cheering people up. Yeah, you smuggle your omnicord into prison. I was gonna say, someone comes to deck cue

and you just pull out a little instrument and play a little ditty and they're like actually I'm thoroughly charmed. He's the Omnicord guys. There must be a con like me in every prison. I'm the guy with the Omnicord. There you go. There we go. You can't get shivered to this kind of music. Maybe you shouldn't have done that crime before... Hang on, I'm going to say that again. I don't know if you want to be moralizing to the people who are about to beat you up. That's a good point. Hang on.

to beat you up. That's a good point. Hang on. Please don't beat me up. I am a really nice guy. I can get you stuff like toothpaste Like toothpaste and a Spanish flight I don't know why I mentioned Spanish fly Guess it goes because it rhymed oh Please don't beat me up. No, I mean there you go. I would Two Spanish flies, please What is the Spanish fly? Is't it an Aphrodisiac? You don't want to be given the man is about to beat you up. I mean, it would certainly change his tack if you've got him all haundogged.

Yeah, but I think that's the kind of person. I would try and provide some sort of edifying service for the prisoners. I mean, I would help them write letters. Oh, I'm just kidding. In the old days, that's what people use. Villains never used to be able to write letters home. But I think most prisoners can write that.

That's what you're gonna ask. That's it as well. You're gonna find the heart of gold in the hard screws that that'll be your talent. You bring that. That's right. It bring out their soft side. No, I guess what I would do is help them produce an award-winning podcast about life

inside. I remember whenever me and Joe were nominated for an award when we were at six music, which we were a few times, we went to the Sony's, and we were always beaten by these people that did prison radio. You can't beat that. Yeah. We were beaten today. Well, that was pretty omnicord, wasn't it? You didn't have anything to pacify them.

No, they apparently, yeah, they've just got the best radio going on there. And they're making these extraordinary moving pieces of radio. But there's only one way to hear that and you have to do bird. Is that like, you have to get inside to listen. So good you don't want to leave. Yeah, that's a good point. I don't, no, I think you can. I think the, I'm not sure actually that is a good point.

I'm not sure if it's just in the, in prison. You have to be in prison to listen. No, surely not. Because if he's winning a Sony. If he's broadcasting to the outside world, you know, the DJ, presumably also another prisoner, could be communicating messages out to, you know, say, go and kill my brother, because my brother's trying to kill me.

It is a heart. LAUGHTER That's right, they'll be telling them where all the booty is buried and all that stuff. Is that kind of, I'm using the right prismaling though, right? They're going to be called by all saints and yeah, all the hauling perfectly, the order of pirates. And so what we've, we've slightly gone off topic-y because that's not really what we're supposed to be talking about. But it was, oh no, please don't apologize. It's the first person that I was brought on to the podcast, so it's delightful to have you on. What kind of a, you're not a flatmate, obviously, you're a father and husband, but what kind of a person are you to live with?

Oh, actually I was thinking about that before because you asked if I had any kind of beefs with other members of the household And I was thinking it's more likely that they've got beefs with me. I'm sure I mean, I always like to think of myself as easy going and fun But I'm probably not. I've got quite a good sense of smell, and so I'm constantly going around the house just... Going, what is that? And sometimes it's real things the other day, I smell death. Oh no! And yep, and I was thinking, where is that death coming from?

Oh, am I imagining it? Or what is that? Is that my farts? Or is that actual death? And I couldn't find it and I thought, okay, something's died, it's a rat, because we've had a rat that's died in the ceiling before. And I was crawling around up in the attic

and couldn't find it. Anyway, eventually found that a baby rabbit had somehow got in the house, crawled underneath the shower. There's a sort of little space beneath the base of the shower that should be inaccessible, but isn't. And the poor rabbit had expired under the shower and was sticking the place up.

Anyway, that's a sad story. Yeah, that's a really upsetting story to start off with. I was in a sense of smell-its. So what you're saying is you're a bad person to live with, but you're not the worst thing in your house, because there is a dead baby rabbit under the shower. Yeah, but the dead baby rabbit's probably more sympathetic than I am. No, so I'm very...

I'm not controlling exactly, but I am like... I do like things a certain way, so I find it very difficult to shut up when things are annoying. You know, I mean, just standard stuff. I go on about it all the time. People leaving the dishwasher, drawer open, the door of the dishwasher open, cupboard doors open, so you kind of turn around and go to get a cup out of the cupboard and you just get smacked in the face by the side of the door. Things like that, I've got

a very nice set of ceramic knives that are extremely sharp and I have them mounted on a block on the wall and I thought if I did that, it would be a clear indication that no one else was really welcome to use the knives, that these were my knives. And of course, but I never actually said that, because I thought that would be sort of insane and fascistic. So everyone just uses the knives, and then they don't put them back in the block, and they just, also you're not supposed to put them in the dishwasher just stop me anytime Supposed to put the ceramic knives in the dishwasher they put them in the dishwasher

They don't put them back in the block Someone's already dropped one of the knives and the tips come off. It's broken off my god No one will admit to it. Everyone's like, oh, I don't know who that was. Someone killed a baby rabbit with one of them. Exactly. Right, so it's ceramic knife. They're all, or every part of the knife's ceramic. Am I being stupid?

The blade is ceramic. The blade's ceramic. Yeah. So it's white. And the idea is, well, it's, that they don't need sharpening. I'm not sure if you are able to sharpen a ceramic. I shouldn't have a ceramic knife. No, it's not, because I don't know enough about them. But they are sharper and easier to keep sharp than a standard steel blade. So they're pretty great. And when you

come and slice up a really unforgiving squash, that's the hardest vegetable, isn't it? To hack away at. Sometimes you can get exhausted and there's always a chance that if you're trying to slice through like half a squash, half a mean firm squash. That knife might slip and you could injure yourself in all kinds of ways. With the ceramic knife, it just glides through the squash and it just the squash just falls into two pieces of Oh my God, I'm serious. I say, well, steady on tour. Maybe it was that. Transpoint me back to prison. Oh. That's not on the recipe.

But, yeah, so they are great. They are a game changer, and I want to protect them, but no one else in the house seems to care. So I'm always just, I'm basically ping ponging between sort of wondering around sniffing at things going what is that smell in the fridge? Why is the why is the fridge smelling like that is there have you bought cheese? I don't like cheese. I mean I hate cheese Oh you hate cheese you've got a key sense of smell you want to be a terrible house mate? No, I am I'm I'm beginning to realize as I'm speaking that I'm a fucking night

Is is your sense of smell the reason you're not a cheese fan? I would say that's part of it, yeah I don't like death and the smell of death. So you know, that's why I don't like cheese. Do you think smells of death? Surely no. I mean, it does. Come on. Well, right. And all cheeses, like across the board cheeses, like a mild cheddar, still smells of death to you. Yeah, if you put all the elements that are in the smell

of death in a Venn diagram, and then you put all the elements that make cheese smell of cheese, they are going to cross over hugely those two Venn diagrams. Just a sort of, you know, musty decaying funk. It's all lots of things decaying, cheese, isn't it? Sort of dusty, possibly some sort of fecal matter in there. Yeah. That's kind of what I'm imagining the smell of death is. I don't know.

That's what I thought you were describing cheese. No! Well, and to you, but no, I love, I mean, I, I, I, it, I, it's one of the great joys in life is a nice cheese board. I don't think it doesn't, it doesn't remind me, make me feel alive. It's quite the opposite. It doesn't, I don't think there's a deathboard. What about, um, when your feet really stink, does that make you feel alive? Yeah, it sort of does actually. Proves I'm living, doesn't it? It proves that, you know, I'm, I'm using these losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I'm losing, I just have a dump feet. Yeah, like an athlete would. Like an athlete or, you know, like a soldier in the trenches. Like, you know, trench foot, athletes foot,

these are things to us, you know. Oh my God, I got a few still fungus. I'm gonna have to ask you to stop here because I'm gonna get a real hankering for some cheers with this toy car. Well, shall we, that we've actually got a, we've got a, a freezer based beef. Clarke, I think I sent it to you.

You did, yes. I've got... Should we start with naughty beef? Noty beef from Ben via beefbrotherspodcast.gmail.com. Get in touch. Yeah, touch. Hello, lads, producer and guest. My housemate, hello.

My housemate, also girlfriend, has a habit of tying knots in packets, brackets bread, frozen peas, etc. Despite the fact that we have clips to keep these things sealed, and trying to undo a frozen knot is an unnecessary expenditure of time and effort, and I cannot and do not need. I have asked her to not do this and explained why, but it still happens, can you solve the B? For many thanks Ben from names only. Okay, right Adam, where do you stand on the time the not in the packets? What's the name of that fellow? Ben.% sympathy with Ben just I think that sounds like a living night well I mean I know we're in the middle of a

pandemic living nightmare That takes it to a different level that's the cherry on top that's a lot on top of the no that is absolutely Inferia that's unforgivable. But hang on. And also he, he correctly points out this clips. I mean the clips are bad enough, but if you really need to seal those packets, that's what the clips are for. Well, hang on a sec.

Let's talk about why clips are bad enough, because surely, how else... If you're not, are you using just a twist of the bag? Is that all you're using? I do a twist. I'll do a twist. A twist is fine. A twist that all you're using? I do a twizzle. I'll do a twizzle is fine. Twizzle is fine twizzle. A twizzle is fine for a large bag of garden peas in a freezer. They're going to scatter everywhere.

No, not if you do it carefully. You're not like, let's start with the aperture. Let's start with the aperture. What kind of an aperture are you creating in the packet to begin with? You're getting a pair of scissors and you're just chopping off a corner. That's all you need. A small corner, if it's a small corner, then you're gonna be fine. If you're just like, this is the thing with my son as well who is 15 and just sort of... I want, there's got to be another one,

I was gonna use a bad, bad word, but he sort of violates the serial packets. I can imagine the actual cups. Tears open the top of the serial packet, so it's just every single time he goes to serve himself some Cheerios, they just go everywhere. They, you know, there's no way they're just going in the bowl.

Everywhere around the house is just covered in Cheerios because of his sloppy aperture creation skills or lack thereof. And so if you just make a small hole and then when you're finished with the packet of peas or whatever it is, as Ben says, you give it a twist or what's wrong with a nice fold. And then you just lean the packet against something else so that the fold remains

down. Everything stays fresh and nice and cold. You're living in a dream world. This is for some. Why is that no good? I'm 100% with you. Look for someone who's complaining about stench and smell getting out. Like smell is not gonna be held back by a fold and a lean, you know? There's no smell of frozen peas in the freezer. Oh, frozen pea stench, that's not something that is. No, but like regularly a problem with me.

The stench of fresh bread. But like, if you carry the rule across the board, you know, folds and twizzles, it's not enough, is it? Like a knot, a knot is gonna give you the security that you crave in terms of like not having a contamination of smells. Like the knot is the tried and tested. It's been going on for centuries.

The fold and the lean hasn't been going on. Like, that was... Yeah, but we're not on a sail, we're not on a sail ship. We're not asking you to fold and lean the mask. You don't have a twizzle badge in the scouts, do you know what I mean? No one's gone, that's a fine twizzle. Oh, yeah. Well, I want to remind you though that we are talking specifically

about a guy dealing with the contents of a freezer. Yeah. That stuff is not stinking really, it's all frozen. All you need to do is just stop everything from scattering around the inside of the freezer. And to do that, a fold or a twist is going to do the job. You don't need to start making knots in things unless you're not going to be using them for a while. Say for example you'll reach into the freezer, you're pulling out a bag of frozen cherries,

the peas at this stage are still leaning against the side of the drawer. However the bag of frozen cherries has really peaked everyone's interest. Everyone likes the side of the frozen cherry. And buy some glass of cherries and freezes today, then I'm going to suck on them all. This is very much my, this is my wife's sort of TV treat. If we're watching Telly and she wants a snack, she just gets the frozen cherries out the freezer.

Oh, she eats some frozen. Yeah. They're like little sort of icy sweets. Yeah, man. And have you heard of alcohol? frozen yeah they're like they're like little sort of icy sweets yeah man and uh have you heard of alcohol oh that's that's very much my treat so well if I got some alcohol and popped a few frozen cherries in there instead of ice cubes you know that's a brilliant idea oh mate this is a great idea yes yes yes and then you do it responsibly obviously you could do like a you could do like a frozen cherry

Mahito now that's a night that would be nice wouldn't it? I was thinking we do a savory version with gravy and frozen peas that you've got Absolutely rolling around in the truck. Yeah, Chris was you can do Brussels sprouts The old roast the old roasty cocktail With a little what you do is with the Yorkshire pudding, just you tear a little half out of the Yorkshire pudding and just stick it on the side of the glass. Yeah, yeah. Well, you could do, yeah, like Ikea meatballs in there, frozen meatballs.

Yeah, absolutely. And then it's not a bad idea. It's not a bad idea at all, actually. Well, that hasn't quite solved the problem. Maybe it has. Maybe if you just shifted to frozen cocktails, a couple of those and you're not going to worry about having a knot in the freezer. You're going to worry about,

no, the idea. You're going to worry about, no, the idea. You're going to be drinking gravy. Bottom line, undoing a frozen knot is bad. That will drive me absolutely sad. You've driven me to the edge of sun, does it? So what have you got?

Okay, so let's, I'm doing the frozen knot. Let's say that's bad. Okay, we'll get rid of the frozen knots. What have you got against the pegs or the clips? What's the meaning? Again, just another layer of irritation and annoyance. One more thing to do. I just think like, so for example, I'm aware that I'm all over the place here.

As far as being uptight, ooh look, I'm wondering around objecting to example, I'm aware that I'm all over the place here, as far as being uptight, ooh look I'm wondering around objecting to the smell of this and that and why aren't my knives in the block. And at the same time I'm like, wow, I just fold it, who cares. But I think that it does work if you just do it conscientiously. Like for example, if you've got a fairly large packet of crisps What are you gonna do after you've had a handful of crisps? Those large fairly stiff packets. Oh, there's a kettle chip bags. Yeah, that's right They're right you roll up the top and put a put a garden peg on the top of it

Peg is it right? Yeah, well, I mean you've got to have a garden peg handy. I've got a drawer that's full of them. It's just a little bit of forethought, a little bit of extra planning. You've got a peg drawer. You say that, but that's not really. You've got a peg drawer and frozen cherries. What a life you're living.

You've just got treats all over the place. What a life you're living, Krosbe. I call the pop-up gas, Jesus. Popper cherry in there. Popper peg on that. Absolutely. What a lot of it. No, Peg is good, sure.

I think that is a good idea, but we, you know, it's a family of five and there's no discipline and the Peg is just gonna go wondering, no one's gonna use the Peg. So basically, a fold of the crisps and then lie them down so that the fold is not just going to pop back up and... Firstly, I love the idea that you've got a bag of crisps in a family of five and the crisps aren't being eaten in one sitting. Secondly, I think we hit on something here, isn't it?

Because you were saying you're inconsistent in the way that you approach these household chores. Sometimes they drive you up the wall, other times you're quite laissez faire. But it's that because you've had to adapt to a laissez faire attitude to certain things, because you know there are certain battles you'll never win. Are you secretly a clip man, but you think there's no point, we can't do a clip in this household, so I'm going to, yeah, yeah, I'm going to, as an affectation adopt a very laissez faire attitude to the entirety of the freezer. I'm just going to, you're right. I'm sure to, as an affectation adopt a very, like, like, lazy fair attitude to the entirety of the, of the freezer. I'm just going to, you're right. I'm sure that freezer guys.

As an affectation. That's so damn it. What it is, isn't it? No, no, it's not, it's not damming. It's just, I'm just trying to get to that. I'm just trying to get to that. Just one of your little affectations that you've returned to. I'm trying to get to the center of the man.

I'm trying to, I'm trying to understand Adam here. So we can understand better why he's what a crap Affectation to adopt Oh, no, I don't know what my thing's gonna be. I'm gonna be the guy doesn't care about peas in the freezer Yeah, that's fresher week sorted for me. I'm the peas guy That would be enough for a character in a sitcom though Would it or at least it would be in a sitcom that I would write? I don't know if you've seen bad odds, but yeah. Yeah. It's the bees guy. He doesn't

mind about bees. One of the early notes we got back on our first treatment for bad odds was wearing a dressing gown isn't a character You know what they were right they were right, but we start to find out wearing the dressing gown I think that that I don't think that that's necessarily right I think it's all in the casting you get the right person in that dressing game Well, let's not let's not pick at that Let's not pick at that. I don't think that was the problem. That was the problem. That was the problem.

Sitcom magic. Now you're absolutely right. It's inconsistent because if I was living alone, I would be living the semi-obsessive, compulsive, I know obsessive-compulsive disorder is a serious thing, and I'm glad that I don't fully suffer from it, but I would be struggling with some minor form of that, and

everything would be just so, and the way I want it, and it would be clips, and all the knives would be in the knife block, and the dishwasher. Actually, I wouldn't even have a fucking dishwasher, because they're a total waste of everything. I would just wash up my plates after I use them. I don't understand why that's so hard. Anyway. But living with five other humans and one great, great dog means that there does have to be a certain amount of latitude, otherwise it's a disaster area.

So it's inconsistent. There are some things that I find myself not being able to budge on and I can't stop myself moaning about them but on the whole I try to be a bit more relaxed. So what is this is this our advice to Ben? What's our advice to Ben? To be satan. Do we say look some battles you're not going to win just don't care too much about it or do we say to him?

I've got a really sad suggestion for Ben. Chop, chop the not off. What's the sad one? You're not going to say, wait a a second, that sound is suspiciously like a Vengement. It's not so. Get the Omnicores. What about experimenting with containers? I don't know, I don't know what age Venge is at in his life, but

there's nothing wrong with going out there You know flirting with some tupper, yeah, get a tupperware set the piece going there suddenly you're just dealing with lids Oh hello, it all stacks. I don't want to be that guy. I know like We all know that guy who puts his piece in tupperware. I love that guy. Yeah, it's We all know that guy who puts his piece in Tupperware. I love that guy. Yeah, he's Tupperware guy. He's a good sitcom character. It's like.

Yeah. Tupperware guy with dressing gown. There he is. That is a great sitcom character. That's fully rounded character. That's perfect. There you go. I think he reaches Tupperware.

He reaches into the pocket of his dressing gown, pulls out a Tupperware. Who knows what's inside of the episode carries on from there. It's great. Yeah, this is at the start of every episode. There's everything into his dressing gown pulls out a tupperware. Who knows what's inside the episode carries on from there. You know, it's great. Yeah, at the start of every episode, there's a picture into his dressing gown. Yeah, exactly. What's he found in his tupperware this week?

The only thing Tom, I would say about Tupperware guy is that he is gonna run into trouble. When say there's, you know, like, 35 P's left, right? And he's got a full size tupperware in the cupboard. And he wants, you know, what do you do now? You've gone for the set, you've got smaller sizes of tupperware. So he's after decant every single time. Every time, I mean. He said, give the work that Russian doll style, he's got to work down his sizes through tupperware. I think this is this to me,

if you're someone who's annoyed by undoing a knot, then know where you re-decanting your peas every meal. Just, it's just, that's an impossible, impossible world to live in. Well, if you wanna go that way, have a pea pot, and it's like, that's for the peas. You can't call it the pea pot. Yeah, so he hasn't got a pot to pee!

LAUGHTER Buy your misses. What a pot to say. What is my pea pot smell of death? LAUGHTER By your Mrs. What part of the tea? What is my P-Pots smell of death? This is reminding me of university. Yeah, that's it. That's exactly it. And I have a little P-Pot. That's where your pots go in.

And after you go. Can I ask you seriously all of you if you ever have had a peep-hot? Like to actually pee? Yeah, because you couldn't be like you've lived somewhere where maybe the toilet is not close and so you just think My brother's a sink or a peep-hot. Yeah, my brother did for a A few years he used to live in a in a place where he was on the top floor and the bathroom was three floors down and along the bottom of the house. So he quite often used to adopt that with a pint glass he kept next to his bed. Pint glass. Which he obviously woke up one morning, very hungover and

reached for what he thought was a glass of water on his bedside table and yeah I think that was the end of pee-pop for him. My house mate, you had a Pringles can that he washed out and reused. No, because Pringles, because in his... Did you go to university with Oli Murs? In his words he said well it's with foil, so I can reuse it. Oh, what was he stunning at university? It was some kind of, what? It wasn't science. No, it wasn't science.

He was the guy who published. He fed the rat as well. We had a rat and we were like, oh God, we've got a rat. He was like, yeah, yeah, I've been feeding. I saw him a few weeks ago, I've been feeding him every day and it enames the rat was feeding him. Out of a different Pringles can. It was a variety of Pringles can.

It was a real system of Pringles can. So what are we saying to Ben? Because I realized we've spent quite a lot of time on this and we've got a variety of solutions. There's either, you know, cut a small aperture and fold and lean or twizzle. There's put everything in a, in a, in a tupperware or... I just remembered, I just remembered that this whole conversation started with Adam screaming, what about the aperture?

I think that's... You've got to walk the whole conversation back. He's got to sit down with his partner and say, look, this is all problem by considering the whole problem. It's very nice. It's very nice. I think that's it. I was going to say, what about bread?

Let's talk. You know what? We've talked too much about it. We've talked too much's it. I was gonna say, what about bread? But, let's talk. You know what, we've talked too much about it. We've talked too much about it. Let them sort that out. They seem like adults, yeah. Bread, I mean, obviously you spin it. You spin it. Here's a question.

Hold it under. Hold it under, bend nose. The weight of the bread. You're fine. Yes, mate. Do you reattach the small plastic cell by date I have a lot of fun trying to keep that going as long as possible I reattach the small plastic I do to amuse myself but I've yet to get my 15 year

old son on board then he'll be a man Then he'll truly be a man. Yeah, at the Rudyard Kippling's poem. Slightly less poetic version. If they were going to repurpose if for a bread advert, that's what it would be about. Hovif. Hovif, exactly. Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep- Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep- Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! Beep-salt! It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Poor things. It's like theaters, December 15th. ACAS powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Hi, I'm David Boris, Canadian historian and host of curious Canadian history, a bi-weekly deep dive into the wild, worrisome,

and wonderful world of Canadian history. This season, we've covered not season Alberta, the Palestinian partition, and even the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. We also have eight seasons worth of back episodes, all right there for your listening pleasure. Check out new episodes of Curious Canadian History every other Tuesday, wherever you get your podcast.

Hey, Cast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcast everywhere. acast.com This is a message from Ronan, who says, is Ronan a male man or a lady woman or something other? We don't know, anyway. Dear beef brothers, I'm currently stuck at home with my kids in lockdown. My eldest, who is eight, is a perfect little angel who does everything she's told. The problem is, my youngest daughter, who is six. She's an absolute psychopath. We have no control over her. She runs around smashing our house up while spitting and scratching us. When we put her to bed last night she came back downstairs, looked us both in the eyes and told us,

I will kill you sometime. Please help. Hope you're all well. Peace out. Ronan. Wow. I mean, if that's true, that's heavy. And that is worrying, isn't it? That's very, um, the omen, isn't it? Yeah. The evil child is the evil child. The evil child is the evil child. The kids do say the funniest things,

but I don't always mean it, but I will kill you sometime. Certainly is not what you wanna hear from your six year old. Have you heard that from any of your kids at any stage? Yes, I would have to say, yeah. Oh, okay, so it's not on, because I've got a, I've got a nearly 11 month old baby, but she can't talk yet. Pretty big if I was her first words.

I'm pretty alarming stuff. Just while I'm feeding her some pure eight apple, she turns her head round to me and fixes me and I will kill you some damn. Her head keeps on turning Regret what the other thing is that when they're just learning to talk sometimes you can't quite tell what they're trying to say So if you're a very paranoid person you could read all sorts of stuff into their mumblings I And what was that? You love me?

You love me? I'm not kidding, I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. That sounds like a really old person, though. It's got... It's fun, the whole... It's fun, it's fun, the seven ages. That's that.

That's actually what sexy talk with my wife. LAUGHTER No, that is worrying, but I would say don't give up hope. Six is a tricky age. So is seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, and all the other ages. But, yeah, don't get too hung up on I will kill you some time. You know, the problem is that there's a lot of reckless influences around these days

from the media and kids have access to all sorts of... Yeah, had you just watched the prison film with her? Did you watch a Vengement with your six-year-old daughter? Has she now put tin foil on her upper row of tea? My friend had a five-year-old who was being problematic and so he put a gate on the bedroom door and then the five-year- old started climbing over the gate and getting out at night. So he got a second gate, put it above the first gate and effectively created like a prison door to the bedroom. And this five year old, he said he came up the stairs and this five year old in the night had taken his pajamas off, climbed up onto the top gate and was just pissing through the prison wall Like a dirty protest. He'd gone Bronson on it. He stripped himself off. He greased himself up ready to go. That's amazing

That is the thing like I that's just reminded me of my son when he was about he must have been about two or something We heard him crying when upstairs and That he had mounted a dirty protest and it was a spectacular piece of work And at that moment your heart really sinks because you think, oh, is this it now? Is this what he's like? Is this going to carry on for a long time? You never know if it's the beginning of a long phase or just a short one. And actually, almost always, it's just a short one.

And everything is phases. This is always what I say. Can I ask what his diet, he protested short short one also, or was that a very long face? No, short face, short face. It happened, it happened only maybe two or three times. Each time, of course, was very distressing for all concerned. But then it just stopped when we started gaffer taping him up. Well, here's the thing, though, with a phase.

It's all one good thing it's a short phase or a long phase. Yeah. But a killing phase, however short, is still a bad phase to go. It was only a short killing phase. He only killed three. It was barely a spree. Exactly. I've read we need to talk about Kevin and you know, what does he do a couple of days, you know, he doesn't, he doesn't afternoon really. It's a pretty strong phase from our

care, isn't it? That's true. So, hello, Michelle. Did any of you when you were young say anything similar to your parents? I hate you or I wish you were dead or something like that. I definitely did a bit of I hate you. I don't think I ever went as far. I was quite friendly and also quite scared. I went to dead to my mum. Yeah. She said it to me a lot. She said it to me a lot.

What about I wish I'd never been born? Yeah, I think I have. Yeah, I've got to have done, yeah. Yeah, in fact, my mom had promised me the big, they went a loft extension. And there was like four of us. There was no space in the house. And this loft extension was like, this is the f...

This is gonna be the future of the house, the loft extension. And they said, right, they said like, Tom or Beth can have the loft extension. This seems like madness now. They said, well, toss a coin to see who wins the loft extension. No. So they tossed a coin and I won the loft extension.

And I can remember thinking, this is the best day of my life. And then the next day they said, we've had a rethink and it makes a lot more sense if your two little brothers have the loft extension, so we're giving it to Ed and Tim instead. And I didn't talk to my mom and dad for like four days. Quite right. It's the first time I can properly remember when I get to my mom and dad.

And so to make it up to me, because they felt so guilty, they said, we're gonna get furniture for your new bedroom and it's gonna be really nice so you can get whatever you want. And we went to the furniture shop and in my my funk I chose everything black so I had a pitch black bedroom black bed black pay back and it was like because that's how I fit that's my mood and I lived in my black bedroom for three years and I want to paint it black that was it. So I carry Newman posters on the wall and that's my red one. That was my red one.

That's the only time that I ever felt properly, like, this is it, man. Across me, you were a bit of a rebel, weren't you? Yes, but I didn't... A very friendly one. You know what? I was a rebel but a pushover, so I would like, I would break curfew and stuff. I would go out late at night, but as soon as my dad would like, or as soon as my dad would work out where I was and like call the house of whoever we were hanging out with and they

would go, right, you've got to go home. I wouldn't be like, you know what, fuck you guys, I'm like, you okay? And you know, I just, I didn't have the courage in my convictions. I just liked wearing sex pistols t-shirts. I didn't actually mean it man. Yeah. Yeah.

Did any of you do things like smoking your rooms or drink a lot of booze at home or anything like that? We. Not massively. I used to have sleep was at Ben's house. And so all like the rebelling that I used to do would be at Ben's house. So like whenever, whenever Ben would come to my house,

we'd always be like, well, we've got to behave ourselves. But then whenever we went round to Ben's house, we had a gang called the male commandos. That was the name of our gang. And our gang was three strong. Yeah, and we were still good for a gang. We were called the male commandos. That was the name of our gang and our gang was three strong. We were good for a gang. We were called the male commandos and our motto was all for one and all for babes. Do you remember? No, I was just saying, what?

Watch out babes. Yeah. And your other motto was no underwear. Ten to nine days, wasn't it? And also no babes, it turns out. And the closest we get to Rebellik, remember Clark, we used to sneak downstairs at two o'clock in the morning to watch, like, die hard

and like, under siege and stuff like that. And we had like a way of getting down the stairs without touching the ground that we kind of, we kind of have a very quick, quick stairs. We felt like we were ocean to were ocean 11 didn't we? Yeah, so I like spreading your legs as far as you can and just stepping on the very side edge of the steps stepping on the on the bannisters even Could you push down? Could you slide down two banisters on your hands and feet? Like spread it. Yeah, absolutely

And we used to think we were so cool. We'd go over the banister and we'd like swing our sleeping bags to the bottom, like that, like so that we'd have to carry them. And then we'd go on either side of the banister and spread the glow away down clarky staircase. And then we'd sit in the front room and watch under siege. And then we'd fall asleep one time and get caught by your mom and dad. Yeah, my dad came down in the morning to the static on the video player. Yeah, that's the closest we got to. And you were 25. We were 25 years old.

How about you, Adam? Did you, we were teenage rebel? No, I became a handful a bit later on. After I'd left school, probably in my early 20s, actually no, I must have been about 18 or 19, and I got a job at a restaurant, and I started having a relationship with a waitress who was quite a bit older than me and I'd bring her home and would sort of have sexy sessions in my bedroom and it was totally inappropriate in every conceivable way and I don't know how my parents put up with it. So your parents could just hear through the door.

It wasn't noisy sometimes. I would come to come. Like, oh no. Oh god. I was just thought that's just brought back. And I was at it again. That's brought back to me. Caravan holiday. I went on my mom and dad with my first ever proper girlfriend. And like it obviously it's a caravan. There's nowhere to go. But obviously because we were 17, we were like, there's no way we can't not have sex. I just don't have sex.

It's four nights. Just don't have sex. We're like, we've got to have sex. No, it's not an option though. Have you been watching normal people? Yeah, it was like the opposite of that. It was not so unsexy. Oh man.

They are unable to stop themselves shagging in normal people. And I totally, I sympathize, I guess, but anyway. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not looking forward to that stage in my children's development. Oh my God, yeah, of course.

You've got that coming up. I suppose so. If they have the wear with all, I don't know. Maybe they will. Well, and so if they have the wear with all I don't know maybe they will. Well and especially if they just be the they watching normal people because you know if you're 15 or 16 at the moment and normal people's on BBC 3 you're gonna be like oh okay here we go this is me I want to study it Trinity. This is mean yeah there's gonna be a lot of applicants going to Trinity, aren't there?

But like, do you know what I mean? I think like normal people's going to set the pattern now. If you're 15, 16, you're going to think, oh, okay, here we go. Sexy times. Yeah, but I mean, most people don't look like those two though, do they? No, they certainly didn't at my school.

Do you want me to be in a row of un? They're supposed to be not normal people, but they're both fairly attractive. I think that's what it should be called, fairly fit people. Yeah, unusually attractive people. Yeah, that's what I like. I feel like I think I've seen more of her nipples than I've seen of anyone. I've seen more of her nipples than I have of my wife's nipples.

I've lost 25 years, I think. I know them so well. Oh, they are again. Hey, how's it going? I haven't seen you guys for 10 minutes. Are you going to get them on the podcast for an interview? They won't appear together. You have to pay twice as much for both. They've had a huge falling out because of the success of the show. What, the nipples? The nipples, yeah. One is being built slightly higher than the other one. I can't believe they still do that. I watch a show called Billions and it stars Paul

Jamati and Damien Lewis and on the credits Paul Jamati's name is on the lower left-hand corner of the screen and Damien Lewis is on the right hand, but slightly higher. No. Yes, because there's stupid agents of... Tyring and Burnett out. So that my guy has to have his name a little bit higher than your guy. He can... Yes, okay, he can have the left, which people read first. But that means that our guy has to be higher.

So that it looks like it's more better than your guy, okay? I mean fucking hell. Yeah, you're already on TV. Just enjoy it. It's bonkers. Anyway, you're listening to puppies flat slag with Tom Ben Adam Bucston and it's produced by Emma Corsham. Emma Corsham So I would like to crossbist here. I would like to point out that I was pleased that we also got to see the man's Willie and normal people. Oh, yeah, you did get to see his touch, didn't you? Yeah, which was, I've not seen it.

Yeah, but the Willie and the show, I love Willie. Is the Willie, I'm on like episode four is it like They save it for like the season finale kind of thing the Willie still to come. Yeah, yeah, I think I think oh Yes As far as I can tell the Willie's come a lot Yeah, it it pops up The Willie makes itself known that's all he needs to say. The Willie is unzipped and pulled out of the guy's pants fully erect. There you go. I'm trying to avoid any any any in you end

there. No, you don't see you don't see it fully erect and also you do see it much less than the Neffhals. But there's only one Willie. There's only one Willie's got a more powerful agent, I don't know. We were watching it the other day and there's a, as I said, have you seen the, the episode where she gets a, small spoiler, but she gets drunk at a party and goes up to him and says, I want you to fuck me. Have you seen that, that bit? Yeah. Oh, sorry. Well, so we were watching that and this is a genuine sign of the sort of people we're

becoming, but my wife I was watching it and she went, oh dear. Just like a nature reaction. Oh dear, there's no need for that. There's no need for that. There's no need for you. Why? Yeah, well you can imagine what my wife, I mean how old are you guys? I'm 40. There's no need for that. There's no need for that. Why? Yeah, well, you can imagine what my wife, I mean, how old are you guys?

I'm 40. Right, okay, so we got 10 years on you, so my wife's version of that was just, oh, no! No! And got up and went to make a cup of tea, because we were watching with our son, right, who's 17, so he's over and then. There must be a squeegee for you and him. Oh, that's a tough watch for him. I think he was okay, because we were, I mean, I kept on...

Talking about the nipples. You can imagine what I was like. Yeah, I was just... And then they are again. When do we get a seat at Tantra goodness sake? Gosh. Yeah, so yeah, that's... I should say it's a world by the way, my wife's not 40.

She won't like that. Right, okay. But she is a massive prude. A total prude. Well, she's 55, hasn't she? But for Ronan, what that all adds up to for Ronan is, don't worry, it'll be fine. It'll get worse once they become sexually active

and start bringing people home. So enjoy it now, enjoy it now before you get to that. You'll wish they had killed you by the time they turned to teenager. Yeah, and if that fails, then go for the old double lock on the double lock on the door. Two gates that they can piss through, you're fine. And also, I'm trying to think seriously what I would do if I was them. It's tough man.

Child spitting, scratching and telling you that they're going to kill you. That is a tough one, especially during lockdown I would imagine. But I don't know, just keep saying, I love you! You would be good in prison. You really would. I think that's beef solved. My beef is with one of my sons who is a teenager. And he has got from somewhere this new technique of arguing, which is, whenever we ask him to do something, recently it was to clean the toilet. One of the, we got a couple of toilets and the one that he uses is like a toilet from the 1970s in a rough pump. Scott, we are in the sheet.

It does, but it's been smacked. Right, yeah. All the condoms have gone. And he just won't engage, he's like, why? Why do I need to keep it clean? And so I laugh and I go, well, because it's disgusting, it smells, can't you smell that? And he goes, no, not really. It seems fine to me. And so then I say, well, it's unsanitary. I mean, especially nowadays, you know, germs. I don't know if you've heard, but we're at war with them, big style.

And why not let's all just keep things clean and reduce the chances of people becoming ill from being infected by fucking germs? And he says, he just says, look, I appreciate that you're irritated and this stuff makes sense to you, but it doesn't make sense to me because I'm 15. And maybe, and I know that probably in a few years, I'll understand where you're coming from. But right now, I just don't, and it doesn't make any sense, and it's because I'm 15. It's pretty normal, I think.

So he's using the sort of step back old man arguments. That's amazing. Yeah, it's so good. It's highlighting the fundamental differences between the two of you, which is he's cool and young. He's got his whole life ahead of him. He doesn't care. He's got perspective and you haven't. That's what he's kind of. He's got perspective. He loves the smell of old urine. I love the smell because I'm uptight and old love this man. I love this man. I love this man. I love this man. I love this man.

I love this man. I love this man. I love this man. I love this man. I love this man. I love this man. I love this man. I love this man.

I love this man. I love this man. I love this man. I love this man. I love this man. I love this man. I love this man. I love this man.

I love this man. I love this man. I love this man. I love this man. I love coherent and rational way with him and so I end up just spluttering and saying just Clean the fucking toilet. I don't say fucking but I do get irritated and say In very strong terms that I think you should clean up the toilet Well, we can't solve your problem ourselves unfortunately, but we do have Well, we can't solve your problem ourselves, unfortunately, but we do have Fanshawe Standing in fact Tom would you like to go and get Fanshawe Standing please? Oh, if we go okay. There we go

So Fanshawe you've heard you've heard Adam's beef here with his son What's your advice ladies and gentlemen after podcast? Adam there with his little problem I was listening and thinking to myself it reminds me of a little story now you probably remember old man Jackson 5 over there he lived interesting name he I don't know why we called him that but he would live down the road The old man Jackson five with his he had a little pet horse You remember now the horse and he

inseparable one day walking in the forest there Jackson five and his horse Come across an old well and fall in it a bold move people have said well to this day we never know whether they decided to go in together or ended up there alone there they are bottom of a well. Hauss and man, man and Hauss, looking up the well. Old man Jackson five, he turns to his horse and says, well, what do we do now? Hauss looks at him.

He couldn't understand the word. I'm going to cut a long story short here. He had to eat the horse. And that's not it. It's the horse and we found him three days later and to this day I'll never understand why he didn't just just stand on top of that horse. Well, I'm gonna go now! Bye! Whoa, alright, well thanks, fan-short. Adam, is that- How? Has that helped you in any way to sort of, um,

come to terms with the problems you're going through with your son? Do you think that's brought you a sort of greater understanding of the, uh, the divide between the two of you? I should stand on him. I wouldn't. I mean, I don't know. If you want to take a very literal interpretation of it, ensure fair enough.

But I think what the judge is saying is, stop understanding and start overstanding. Exactly. I think that it is. Exactly. I think that it might be. Those are words to close on I'd say. That's fantastic. Thanks so much for coming on the podcast by the way Adam. It's been so nice having you as a guest. Absolutely. Oh man, it's nice to see you

guys. I literally, apart from my family, haven't seen another human being in ages and ages. It's been a real pleasure seeing you. Really? Really deceibully. So we just talked very quickly, you've got your audiobook out, which is fantastic. I don't feel you have to. No, no, it's the only reason I'm saying, literally, I'll tell you now that we were recording another episode just before we spoke to you and I went in to see my wife and my little daughter who in the other room and Charlie had been listening to the audio book and had been crying. She's been so moved by it.

She was crying in a way. She absolutely loves it. She thinks it's fantastic. Oh, that's good. I'm glad she wasn't crying because she felt so happy. That's money I'm never going to get back. Exactly. That I was being given a platform

for my driveling middle-class wines. No, it's really fantastic and it's more than an audio book, isn't it? It's got the Rambles and it's like Spotify playlist you can listen to, we've been listening to around the house, it's really, it's a multi-platform experience. It's a multi-platform experience, exactly. And the Q-Cord features heavily in some of the jingles as well. Oh, yes. Oh, could you play us out with a little cue cord then would you mind? I still feel a bit sad about my improvisation from the first one, but I will do my best.

Let's go for rock Papis! here we go That's it great They call me the king of cue cord and pro Well, we absolutely love it. Thank you so much Adam. Thanks Adam. Cheers. See you soon. Take care you guys. See you guys. See you guys. From the starting of your beer.

What a treat that was. We could have rumbled on all day there, can we? Yeah, it was really fun. I really wish we could have chatted for even longer, but then that would have been too much I think. Too much of a good thing. Once we've gotten into normal people territory, if you're just chatting about all the people. Because every chat these days,

it's up to a great normal people. I always end up talking about normal people. It's a hell of a show. The episode, as you know, is sponsored by normal people. On BBC3, do watch it. Turns out, addressing gown isn't a character, but taking off addressing gown really is. Oh, good.

We've been leaving. We've got an email here from... Yes. Do you want to read this one out, Tom? Because it actually pertains to you. This is from Robin via B for other's podcast at gmail.com. Get in touch. Please get in touch. Stop messing about.

He's got it. He's got it in touch. Hello, Robin. Robin writes, hello Emma and the other three. Lovely. Lovely. As a patron, hello Emma and the other three. Lovely. Lovely. As a patron I am sad to say that I have a beef with the podcast but don't worry, the Jamboree is at in danger. I would take these matters no further but I feel that you should be aware. Firstly, when I was listening to a beef brother's cold

cut recently I realized something. Perhaps Fanshore Standard would be able to tell more opposite stories if you didn't make him stand in the corridor while you go through what the listeners beef is interesting. He makes a very good point here to drop it. It must be terribly terrible to be asked into a podcast recording and then be forced to say something relevant with no notice. Relevance being very kind. I assume that Perry must explain the beef when he goes out to get him, but he only has a few seconds to do so. I wonder some of the stories don't even have a tangential relationship with the beef. Why can't he be in the room so he can hear it when everybody else does? Also, I assume that Mr. Standin is an older gentleman, so I do hope

that he has a seat out in the corridor and is comfortable whilst waiting. Secondly, the risk of proving that people who don't eat gluten don't have a sense of humour. As a celiac, I have to point out that offering me a rye pizza would be a real slap in the face because celiacs can't eat rye either. Sorry, that's delighted me me I don't know why celiacs that's the void wheat barley rye and sometimes out despite the mistreatment of deep sauté lawyers and celiacs I love the podcast and it is really brightening up this time in lockdown sometimes when I'm listening to you I have to stop what I am doing because I am laughing so hard thanks Thanks Robin, well what a lovely email. Thank you for getting to that, Robin.

You make some very, very astute points. Yes, you do. Unfortunately, we did try having Franjo in the room with us and he talks way too much and also the smell is too much to take for long time. He also much prefers to be at lunch, he says. So he's lunching right up until he gets on the microphone. So he has his methods.

I actually learn a lot from Fanshaw though. I don't think I've ever come away from Fanshaw thinking or what the bloody hell was that all about. I always think there's, if you look, you know, it's a little bit like a magic eye picture. If you relax your eyes and look beyond what he's saying, then relax your ears and listen beyond it. Thank you.

That's exactly it. So maybe he's like a magic eye picture in that he was more popular in the 90s. Thanks for getting in touch though. Listeners, please do get in touch. It's so nice to hear from you. Now more than ever. It's so lovely to have you get in touch. So please keep on getting in touch though, listen to this please do get in touch, it's so nice to hear from you No more than ever, it's so lovely to have you get in touch So please keep on getting in touch. It's beef brothers podcast at gmail.com, so please please do And don't forget the patreon as well patreon.com forward slash papi's flat share loads of fun stuff over there

Yes, but all that remains to be said Tom this episode was produced by the water only Emma caution to be said, Tom. This episode was produced by the Water and Only Emma Corsham. Corsham to Shade Gym. Have fun at there guys, or in there. And much love. Cheers everyone. Bye! See you! Yes. Poor things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman plotting her course to freedom at a lot more.

It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Poor things. It's like theaters December 15th.