Pappy's Flatshare - Beef Brothers Cold Cuts w/ Alexandra Haddow S14E21

Episode Date: June 17, 2024

The Beef Brothers are here to solve your beefs with special guest Alexandra HaddowAlex's Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/alexandrahaddowPappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetPappy's Insta - https://www.instagram.com/pappyscomedy/Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareFind tickets to all our live shows here - pappyscomedy.com/liveEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wendy's Small Frosty is the ultimate summer refreshment and not because it's cool and creamy and made with fresh Canadian dairy It's also refreshingly cheap just 99 cents until July 14th. It's a treat for you and your wallet Greetings listener dear. I'm Tom. I'm Ben Greetings listener dear I'm Tom. I'm Ben. I'm Matthew and welcome to what is definitely going to be a very exciting episode of Beef Brothers Cold Cuts. Yes Beef Brothers Cold Cuts. That's how we say it. Yes it definitely is. We have the wonderful Alexander Haddo. Not a great one, not a classic that one. But we'll produce an episode of something. It contained all the information we needed. That's it, you know, this guy liked it, man.

Yeah, there we go. This week we have the brilliant guest Alexandra Haddo. Haddo? Haddo? Haddo. Haddo? Not bad, thank you. How do you do? By the way, you said you were pronouncing it the same way every time but every time

Hello, hello Correct. I mean correct every time because I imagine that there aren't really that many other ways to pronounce it, but you I mean, correct every time because I imagine that there aren't really that many other ways to pronounce it, but you were sort of saying it with the intonation of you're saying a different thing each time. But it wasn't really. Yeah, but yeah, but you know what, every time you're absolutely nailing it. That is my range. As any people recording a voiceover who's ever had to give Tom a line reading, this is what you're getting, man.

If you don't like this, you shouldn't have hired me. But yeah, Alexandra Haddow is here. Absolutely brilliant, fantastic comedian, tremendously funny. Hello. Yes. Haddow. Great. Hello, hello. Are you alright Tom? Yeah, I'm good, thanks. Hey, if you enjoy this sort of thing, and let's be honest we all do, we have a patreon where we put out an extra episode every week so every Thursday you'll get another

episode on your feed it's Pappy's pop around which is lots of fun so you get that for four pounds a month if you go to patreon.com forward slash flat share dot gov dot uk your find no oh tom oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh to me. By the way, if anybody wants Clarky to be a voice actor, he's very available. You just go to Clarky.gov.gov.uk. But no, Tom, give us one of your trademark jingles. Give us one of your trademark jingles with the Patreon address. If you can, then Patreon.com forward slash flat share dot co dot uk Ever be dot code at uk They're all the same these days aren't they no no they're not they're not they will take you to they'll take you to these days aren't they? No no they're not they're not they will take you to different places in their addresses Tom it's been like saying all addresses are the same these days no well

he makes a good point actually yeah he does thank you he does make a good point when when are you when you're debating at Oxford I know you've been... Wait for someone to finish their speech and then just tell them, go, well, and then just disappear into the corner of the room and pull your hood up. But yeah, no, it's patreon.com forward slash Pappy's Flat Share. So go there today and for £4 a month you can get a bonus episode shot your fucking mouth. You can get a bonus episode every... Anyway, it's a wonderful episode with Alexandra Haddow. I hope you enjoy it. Here it is right now. Well, if you've got a problem, don't call it a problem. If you've got a problem, call it a beef. If you've got a beef, maybe we can help you beef from the sorting out your beef.

I'm recording. Also recording. I too am recording. I'm also recording guys. Let the record show that this is being recorded. I'm recording guys. And who knows, I reckon if it goes well, we might put it out. Let's keep our fingers, let's not, you know, let's record it as if it's a rehearsal. And yeah, we've yet to put one out and we've been doing this for 12 years.

But you know what? Practice makes perfect. And one day we're going to make such a great podcast. Exactly. The world's going to want to hear it. You're changing the game. Yeah, absolutely. Actually, I don't think that's a bad move. Changing the game by not podcasting. Yeah. That would be I feel like it's the one thing that people aren't doing. But every week you put out the promo, but there's just no actual episode

that people can access. I'd love it. And I think the people would as well. I like it. That's what the people want. They do. They really do. And then the promo would start as a video and then it would become just the audio, then it would become just a picture and then nothing.

So slowly, slowly rolling it all back. It's a good process. Five stars. Like the KLF of podcasting. Just not doing anything you're supposed to do. Get all the 12 years of recordings and go to a small Scottish island and set them on fire. Yes, exactly. Definitely can't do it with money.

Arthur Page in Chortle. That's what we're in it for, right guys? Yeah, exactly. That's the reason to do anything really, isn't it? Yeah, that's why we're here. Absolutely. So, can you reveal, because you just borrowed these headphones you're using from another podcast that's just finished recording downstairs. Yes.

What's the rival pod that's happening in the very building you're in? It's called Just Films and That, and it's Jamie Allerton, fellow comedian, who I believe was doing DJ battles with you at the weekend, Matt. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. I was supposed to be his DJ partner, but I had to go home for a few days. But yeah, he was recording. He's standing on a film podcast at the moment, as well as his own film podcast.

There's a lot of film podcasts going on in this flat at the moment. So I've taken it off him to do a much more highbrow podcast, which is this one. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. Do you want us to ease you into it by chatting

about any films you've seen recently, just so you know? So it's not like a cold glass of water to the face. Do you want to just talk about- Yeah, exactly. What was the last film you saw? Give us a quick review and then we'll- Oh, do you know, genuinely the last film film I saw was I was at home over the weekend and I forgot that iPlayer has like a films section and I watched late night and it's about Emma Thompson as a late night chat show host in America.

And she's kind of, have you seen this? It's good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And Mindy Kaling's in it. And the Mindy Kaling movie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it was, you seen this? It's good, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Mindy Kaling's in it. It's the Mindy Kaling movie, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and do you know what? It was just what I needed, like a bit of mindless fun with a bit of drama. It exists in a sort of futuristic utopia

where they allow a woman to host a TV show. Yeah, that's the part I found unbelievable. It's the only unbelievable bit, isn't it? It's some kind of sci-fi fantasy. Yeah, I think it's sort of a Terry Pratchett novel that they extrapolated it from. There are more men called Jimmy than there are women hosting American chat shows. Yeah, yeah. That's, I call that, that's actually true, isn't it?

Yeah, you're watching it going like, you know, sure, but yeah, I mean, she's good. And there's like, and also it's always that tricky thing of anytime they try and show somebody who isn't a standup doing standup, it's always a bit. But actually those bits sort of, they kind of work. Well, I was saying to my mum, I was like, you know, Emma Thompson's naturally funny. Mindy is started off as a standup, I think.

And I was like, why can they never just make it naturally? How good they would be in real life. Jimmy, they weren't as bad as some of them. But, you know, even when you get a professional stand up to do a bit of stand up in a in a film, it's always terrible. I don't know why. Yeah, I mean, there's something about the artifice. I think Hacks does it well.

Have you watched? I've not seen this, but people tell me that I should watch it. Yeah, it's not a TV I should watch it, yeah. It's not a TV podcast, crucially. It's a film podcast we're doing today. So that's not, no free rides to HBO shows. Yeah, of course, sorry. So this is temporary lodgings for you where you are at the moment, is that right?

Or is this what you're doing? Oh no, no, this is my flat, but my friend Jamie sort of, he moved back up to Liverpool a few months ago and he sort of stays down here a few nights a month when he's gigging and stuff. So I like to sort of have it as a halfway house for comedians, you know? But I live with one other person

who's also a comedian full-time and then Jamie sort of half the time. Right, and what would they, if they were describing what it's like to live with you, what would they say? I think they would say I'm too enthusiastic to hang out. Right. Are you somebody who just doesn't want to go to bed in the evening?

Is that is it like that? I'm a bit like that, yeah. And I like I sort of I like a gang, you know, I like everyone to hang out all the time. And, you know, we're in our mid thirties now. It turns out people like their own space, which I'm not okay with really. Do you know what I mean? Like, grow up, spend time with me all the time. Is that why he moved to Liverpool?

Is that basically it? He was like, yeah, just get away from me. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. He was like, I can only handle this eight to ten nights a month, so I need to just fuck off. No, he wanted to get back up there for, you know, I think his rent is £4.90 now a month. So yeah.

Yeah. So I got a really, really nice sofa bed, like a proper one that folds out and he stays on that when he comes down. And so does everyone if they need a place to stay. My house is like the friends, I've lived here for like eight, nine years. I'm the moniker of this flat. Every single person in my group of friends at some point has lived in this flat. So it's like the... It's like you're on a sort of orphanage for waves and strays. Yeah, it's exactly that. That's the energy of my flat.

You're them, you know, giving them a nice hot meal when they come back from doing... Forcing them to hang out with you. Small Miss Hannigan, I reckon. And I am in a white dress as well. Yeah, I'm just, you know, when they get in from their gig, I'm sort of waiting just behind the front door and I'm like, how was it? You know, that kind of creepy, instant feedback, you know, you try to sneak up to bed and I'm just like,

no, why don't you talk to me for one to two hours, that kind of thing, you know? It's great, you guys should come over. It doesn't sound ideal. It's the problem when you're sleeping on a sofa bed and it's in the front room, you are kind of held hostage to people like you. Yeah, I know.

You can't take yourself off. And that's... I know, he does shut the door and I get in later than him 90 percent of the time. I think that's how he's combated it. So that's why we're still friends. He's managing to ration me as a friend, I think. Tom, could I just check what you said? Did you say you can't take yourself off there? Is that what you're saying? check the what you said did you say you can't take

yourself off there is that what you're saying? Yeah don't worry yeah you can't take yourself. Oh you can't take yourself off okay fair enough yeah good good. Because you're because Tom's Tom's currently you're you're currently uh uh sofa surfing uh temporarily aren't you for work reasons? Oh are you? Well no for no for child reasons my um I've been on my sofa bed in my own house for six months now. I think I probably will be there for another six months as well. Oh, what? Because the baby won't sleep?

I'm not allowed to sleep in the same bed as the baby, but my wife does. And so apparently men don't have a part of the brain that stops you from rolling over onto a baby, but women do. Oh, I see. Okay. from rolling over onto a baby but women do. Oh I see. So I can't be trusted in my own bed but so I'm on the sofa bed for a year. Wait a second though, can't you just change up the order? You would have to get over your wife to get to the baby. Oh yeah that's a good shout. No there's not enough room on the other side of my wife.

Right. Basically. I would absolutely love it by the way, Ben, if just when you said that, Tom, the penny just dropped and he was like, what? Why have I never thought of this? Wait, but can I just say, there's not enough room on the other side of your wife. Could your wife not move?

No. More towards the centre. No. That's not the go-shin. No. That's not the go-shin. She's got a fixed location. There's no room on the other side of her.

She sleeps on the lip of the bed basically. No, the baby has the fixed location in the centre of the bed. And that's the bit that can't... Yeah, so the baby has the absolute location in the center of the bed. And that's the bit that can't, yeah, so the baby has the absolute center of the bed and that's the bit that isn't up for discussion. Right. And then off to the side of the baby is my wife and then there's my good self

on very much the lip of the frame. So that's, we tried it for a few, a good week or two. And then, yeah, so I'm sofa surfing in my own house. Could you not sleep at the bottom of the bed like a sort of dog or pet? I don't think I can be trusted to in case I come up from the underneath. Tom travels a tremendous distance in his sleep.

You should know this about him. I was gonna say. He roly polies all around, like like honestly sometimes he finds himself at the foot of the stairs honestly he really goes for it. Once he gets up quite ahead of Steve you could tumble dry your clothes if you put all your wet clothes on Tom he'd rotate enough to keep your clothes perfectly dry. At a lovely temperature. It's not that I do it's that I could. That's a great pity.

I'm a very still sleeper. Once I'm asleep, I'm down, I'm done. I don't waste any energy moving around in my sleep these days, but it's just the potential that I have. So what do we think is going to be the sort of watershed moment for you being allowed back into your own bed? The waterbed moment, is? Very nice. Well I mean hopefully, hopefully when he gets into his own bed in a couple of years time but for now yeah it's right it's rumbled on a lot longer than I thought it would actually. Oh.

Yeah. And sofa beds always, you always think you've bought a good sofa bed, but eventually they're not good sofa beds. Yeah, I know what you mean. I think I'm going to have to get a mattress topper. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or a new flat just down the road. Yeah, well that. Yeah, that's the other option. Have you, and I know we're not here to solve Tom's beef here, but I've just got one extra.

Have you thought of adding, like, is there room in your room to add a bit of extra bed? Like if you stuck a single bed. Like a camp bed. Next to the bed. Like a little camp bed, yeah, where you're still kind of in the room present, Or is it? That's where my son also has his bed. He's completely... Can I just ask, how big is this kid? I haven't seen him for a while, but yeah, he's a big boy.

Cheap as creepers. He's got a huge cot next to our bed. He's got a huge cot next to our bed and he divides his time between our bed and the cot. And he's a roller as well, isn't he? He's lording it over me. He's occupying your room. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm more worried about you being crushed in the night than him. Yeah. He's got squatter's rights. You're going to wake up one day on the sofa bed with him just like leering over you like, yeah, yeah. One nil daddy. I'd settle for one nil at the moment. It feels like three or four. Yeah, I was going to say one nil is never one nil when there are kids in the house. never one-nil when there are kids in the house. I'll take that.

Beef Brother signing out your beef! Right, shall we? Because we cannot solve our own problems clearly. Let's try and do it for other people. Let's pay it forward. Let's pay it forwards. Tom, would you like to start with the one from H? Yes, this is a birthday beef with the in-laws from H via steps. No, from H via beefbrotherspodcast.gmail.com.

Dearest brothers and guest. That's me. Please help solve a beef with my in-laws. As my fiance's 30th birthday rapidly approaches. He is the youngest of two brothers and has had a pretty normal life. Red flag. School, uni, bit of travelling, lots of friends, works hard to move up the ladder in his job, pretty standard stuff for a man in his late twenties.

Sounds like a cuck. I was going to say as well, all we know are comedians. Yeah, I know. There's no lots of friends, there's no works hard to move So that's nice. Yeah, I know. Any, like there's no, lots of friends, there's no works hard to move up the ladder in his job. There's none of that. No. Bit of traveling means going to Peterborough for 80 quid.

It's not, you know, that's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went to watch a gig. Yeah, yeah. I went to the Soho theater. It was on the bounce. Yeah. Yeah. His elder brother, however, is the opposite. He still lives at home despite

being in his 30s, goes on holiday exclusively with his parents, has little to no ambition and bleeds everyone dry, never putting his hand in his pocket to buy so much as a round. I can't really blame him because the way his mother babies him is nauseating. While his dad sits silently in the background, she does his brothers laundry, cleans his bedroom whilst coming to our flat and taking snide comments about our interior design and running her fingers along the mantelpiece. She also does the worst thing I have ever seen. Oh my god, this feels like the lids really come off on this. I know, it's got a real head of steam going. When his brother is drunk, which is often, he gets those gross white bits at the corners of his mouth

no, I know what's coming on more than one occasion she has lent a cross wiped the corners of his mouth with her thumb and then sucked her thumb clean no, no, no way okay, end of episode yeah I tell you what podcast Just put in a just put in a little break bumper here

We need it we just put in anything any a little bit of jingle of something because we need something here while we all puke Well, the listener does the same Guys I just peeped but I let my thumb afterwards some afterwards. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Clearly. Yes. I wouldn't do that. Ultimate Molly Gobble.

Even the person I was fucking, I wouldn't do that to. Yeah. This feels like the next level up from fucking. It feels more intimate than fucking, gentlemen. My fiance's 30th is next month. The right week, I mean, we've got to try and get, it's hard to get back now, but we've got to try and get. Sorry, yeah. We forgot, I forgot about the fiance entirely. I forgot

there was another character in this story. I know, yeah. My fiance's 30th next month so I asked his mum what their plans are. When his brother turned 30 they gave him an Apple Watch, took him on a week's holiday to Bodrum, paid his car insurance for a year on the car they had already brought him and asked us to go halves on dinner at a 5 star hotel. Her suggestion for my boyfriend is a router extension box because our internet connection is terrible. Brackets, it's fine. And to go for a bar snack at the same below average pub that we go to all the time.

Oh my God. Firstly, mix the idea of the pub straight away because if the brother gets drunk, you know what's going to happen next. So yeah. Do you want to just have a water this time? This is the classic thing of parents. You know, if you do something well, people think you never deserve anything. And if you're just an idiot, people are like, oh, well, it can't be helped.

And then you sort of get more by default. Yeah. Yeah. I left gritting my teeth, but time is running out and I don't know what to do. It's not about the money, which they have plenty of by the way, but the lack of thought or care. Do I say suggest they think of something a little more meaningful or do I risk ruining his birthday by upsetting her? Maybe I should try to compensate by making sure that I and our friends make more of a fuss of him. Please help. Any advice you can give would be massively appreciated. Love the pod. H.

Wow. I think you use this against the in-laws to ultimately create more of a divide family-wise so that you have to see them less, thus you win. And isn't that what family's about at the end of the day making huge rifts between people that's the reason to come into a family it's about is ultimately wake them up yeah am i the only person who thinks she's with the wrong the wrong brother switching up it sounds like he's got a charmed life this other guy like you say this other loser is oh what is he's got he went to university did yeah he's got mates sack him off yeah too normal way too normal where's the fun you listen you know what's the jeopardy you could be licking you could be licking the the

congealed saliva office but you're playing that's the thing this is this is yours for the taking. Get in there. Maybe wait till just after his 30th. Oh, no, no, no. Pull off the band-aid. Do it just before and get together with his brother. And that's the birthday present you get him. Because also I feel like that would annoy the mum as well, the mother-in-law, I think. That's win-win. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. It's an absolute win-win. Now, what are we really saying there? win-win. Yeah absolutely, absolutely it's an absolute win-win. While his dad sits silently in the

background, that's the image that I'm, while his dad sits silently in the background she does his brother's laundry and cleans his bedroom so does he go and sit in the bedroom while she cleans it? He goes into every room, which room are you in now? I'll do the laundry now, I'll go into the washing machine. While his dad sits silently in the background, that's the way this, that's just as disturbing for me. At least let the dad sit on top of the washing machine. Give him a thrill for, you know, once in his life. Come on, give him a treat. This absolutely smacks of, if this woman had had a daughter,

the daughter would be in therapy because the woman would be like laying into her, but because she's got sons, she's like, oh God, my precious precious like firstborn and then the second one's had like the like a tiny bit of independence and she's like oh can't believe you don't need me anymore she's one of those people I think. Do you know what I mean? So I think I would want to say I know that the mature thing here is to probably just have a polite word and try and be like look I think you know I think you need to maybe get him a bit of a nicer present,

but no, I would go for divide and conquer. I just don't want this woman in my life. The difference is insane. An Apple watch, a week's holiday, car insurance for a year and a five star hotel dinner. That literally sounds like when the ads on Ant and Dec's Saturday night takeaway, doesn't it? It's just missing a jet ski and that's the whole thing. It's like game show prizes. I'm afraid you're going home with a router extension box. Thanks for coming in. You've been a wonderful player. Have you enjoyed your day? Have you enjoyed yourself?

Well everyone they ask them that and they're like close to tears going over nothing. Yeah, I've loved it. I've had a great day. Come here, you've just got something right here in the corner of your mouth. I mean, look, she's got this, this maybe I should try to comment say by making sure that we make a fuss of him. That, that's gotta be the angle, right? Well yeah, that's what I mean. I think you need to as well remember that you are not dating his family. You are, you are your partner. What that that's that your relationship should, I mean, I know it's very

hard to say this, but it should slightly exist in a vacuum in that you don't go, I'll find out what everyone else is getting and before I start working out what I'm gonna get him for his birthday. It's not about making him feel better because his mom got him a crap gift. It's about your relationship

and how you interact with each other and how you feel about him. So, I appreciate you're in a very, very tricky situation, H, because it sounds like you're living with a hell family. Yeah. Or you're living, you know, you're a part of a hell family. But, but I think you've just, you've just got to separate it. You've just got to separate, you just could go like, no, I'm not going to think about that weird side of the gang. I'm just going to think about you and me and what would what I think, you know, what I think you would like and what is special to us,

you know, you know, you crucially, you know him better at this juncture than his mother does. So just think about that and focus on it. I hope so anyway, because if she knows you well, you're in trouble. Sorry, can I just interrupt this really nice balanced advice by saying, get your boyfriend a holiday to Bodrum, an Apple Watch,

pay his car insurance for a year and ask his parents to go halfs on a five star meal at a hotel. The identical prez. Yeah. Yeah. Then you're in their heads. You know? You're in their heads but they're in your bank account. Yeah. You're broke. Yeah, sure. You're skint but you've proved a point.

It's true. And you can't buy that. Yeah, exactly. That's priceless. Anything else? Anytime the answer is throw money at the problem, I'm here for it. Absolutely. Yeah. Spend like Danny Warbucks. Yes, exactly. Do you have another Annie reference in the pod? But it's a film podcast. I forgot it's a film podcast. I forgot it's a film podcast.

But yeah, that's what you do. Absolutely. You're never fully dressed without white bits in the corner of your smile. Truly the most harrowing thing I've ever heard. Oh man. Oh man. It's so gross. Horrible. Beef solved. Yeah's so gross. Horrible.

Beef solved. Yeah, beef solved. I think so. Beef from the zoning are your beef! Beef solved! From Yorgos Lanthimos, the Academy Award nominated director of Poor Things and the Favorite, comes Kinds of Kindness, a darkly hilarious and unpredictable film that critics are calling mind-bendingly brilliant.

Featuring an all-star cast led by Emma Stone, Jesse Plemons, and Willem Dafoe. Kinds of Kindness is a wild ride that will leave audiences discussing the experience long after it's over. Don't miss Kinds of Kindness in select theaters June 28th. Working in the trades is intense. It can be stressful and painful. Some guys use drugs and alcohol to cope. But when we ask for help or we see someone struggling with addiction. Our silence speaks volumes.

See how you can help or get help at Canada.ca slash ease the burden. A message from the Government of Canada. I think we've made a real difference here today, guys. I think we have, yeah. I thought you've got to do some more. So, Alexandra, would you like to do your one here? Yes, of course. This is Dried Up Beef from Hayley via BeefBrothersPodcast at gmail.com. Hello, Hayley. Hello, Hayley.

Dearest Beef Brothers and Guest, my beef is with my flatmate slash husband. I mean, I think it's a bad sign if you're calling him that, first of all, but fair enough. That's very much of the pod rather than just, yeah, yeah. Oh, I see. Okay. That's a standard thing for this rather than her just be like nagging him early doors. I was like, oh no, the spark's already gone. Okay.

Okay. Several years ago, he stopped drinking. He was never a big drinker, so it wasn't a huge lifestyle change. And far from being a problem, it now meant I had my very own designated driver every time we went out. The beef has only arisen in the last year or so after he went down and continues to burrow through a Reddit rabbit hole. Taylor's on his time. It started with a couple of comments about all leisure activities in the UK centering around drinking alcohol. Then he started pointing out every time I had a drink.

Next, I was shown a graph, brackets link at bottom, and subjected to a 20 minute lecture about how drinking alcohol is worse than taking heroin. Then he decided he was better than everyone else because he didn't drink, despite occasionally partaking in other less legal substances. Heroin. Yes, heroin. Yes, exactly. I'm just having a bit of smack, love. Yeah, yeah.

While you drink that lager top and kill yourself. I'm just finding a vein while you absolutely ruin your life with that Pinot Grigio. Anyway, the final straw came when he declared that none of the mutually contributed to holiday funds could be used for alcohol because he doesn't approve. Help, how do I stop him from being such a sanctimonious hypocritical boar? Beers everyone dry, front names only, Haley. Beers everyone dry is exceptional. And the graph at the bottom is basically the British drug harm score out of a hundred. And it's like health damage, mortality, loss of tangibles and relationships, community crime and injury, family adversaries. So obviously alcohol in that graph is above her in because

more people drink alcohol than have quite a serious smack habit, I think. Right, yes. But essentially he's fallen to Reddit, I think is what's happened here. Do you know what? I feel bad that I said, hey, listen, don't say the spark's gone just yet. But when you're sending the drug harm score for alcohol, heroin and crack cocaine to your partner, then I think the spark's gone, isn't it? Yeah. It's not, it's certainly not the most romantic way to spend Valentine's Day.

It's hard to get horny over dinner when, you know, you're just like, oh, should we have a nice bottle of red? And he's getting out the graph, which he's laminated. As he calls his dealer yeah I mean when I asked uh you know my my 50% of the time housemate Jamie Allen said about this problem five minutes before coming on here he said well I think the only way to get over this is for her to start doing heroin and see if see how he feels about that. You know? Yeah. Yeah. Do you know what? Like there's there must be what 20 substances on there, 15, 20 substances on there.

Yeah. Just say, OK, let's work through them together. We did. Now there's your reality show. We've both done alcohol, guys. Right. You know, you've you've you've stopped drinking. I've drunk before, we know that, we can write our findings up. But when was the last time we both did meth and phetamine together? It's been a while, certainly. Yeah, exactly. You know, you think back to those heady days of your first few dates when

you're on meth together. You think, we never do meth anymore. You know, it's when you go down that list and you get to tobacco and you're like, Oh God, thank God. I'm glad it's just tobacco this week. I couldn't handle it. When's the week we have to smoke a hookah out? Yeah, I know. At some sort of Turkish bar. That's the week I'm looking forward to because I've been ecking off my tits. How I met your mother. That's the name of the song.

Very nice. Just hallucinating that you're a rat for a week and then being like, see? It wasn't that bad. Could I please have a glass of cider just to take the edge off it? Yeah. Just for a bit of social time. You could have to face it all these dragons. Yeah. Oh, it's really tricky because the obviously the bigger question is what happens when someone believes everything they read on the internet

or use, you know, or, you know, the awful spectre of I've done my own research. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is, you know, if it isn't alcohol, it's, you know, the vaccine or every, you know, every possible other thing. Yeah. I'm not saying just trust blindly, that's not what we're saying, but. Of course not.

If you, it sounds like Hayley here has no problems, you know, or doesn't seem like she has a problem with alcohol, you know, and if she's, and if she is happy in herself with it, then it's sort of nobody else's business but hers. Exactly. How she's doing it, but how do you get that message across to the smackhead? The only thing is I don't think the end of any story that starts with I've been spending a lot of time on Reddit, you know, I don't think it's ever ended with and therefore I've got a new balanced opinion that definitely hasn't infiltrated every area of my life, you know? I bet there's some good graphs on bloody Reddit use.

Yes. To counter with some of those. You know? I bet there's some good graphs on bloody Reddit use. Yes. To counter with some of those. Yeah, I think Reddit should be dipped into, not swam in, you know? Yeah, don't binge it. The rule for life, yeah. Like, like meth? Like meth!

Very much like meth. A little of what you fancy does you good. Reddit should be micro-dosed. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's very Moorish. You must, you must stay vigilant. It really is. Oh, man. I think we all know these people as well. I know a lot of people that kind of

kind of went quite mad in their 20s and fair play to them. And now they've kind of, you know, and like, you know, they partied a lot and now they've kind of, they've over corrected and they've gone very sort of spiritual. They're doing a lot and now they've kind of they've over corrected and they've gone very sort of spiritual they're doing a lot of you know non-drinking but a lot of other like a little bit like this woman's husband a little like other substances and they they do tend to have this kind of they tend to like sort of look down the noses at you a little bit if you're just having a beer do you know what I mean? I do sympathize with this woman a lot I've I know variations on this husband a lot. I know variations on this husband, I think.

All of those people, and they seem to have one thing in common, all of those people who used to do a lot of drugs in their 20s and now in their 30s, possibly they're in relationships, possibly they have a family, they all seem to post videos of themselves doing ice baths on Instagram. Do you get him an ice bath? Are you distracted with an ice baths on Instagram. Oh, yes. Do you get him an ice bath? Yeah. Distract him with an ice bath. You just send him down that path. You send him down that, which I think is ultimately again, is harmless. Yeah. Ice bath or just very big ice bucket. Well, I was going to say if you want to put your Jacob's Creek in there as well, that's absolutely fine. You know, that's, you get nice chills. Yeah, that's true. Or of course,

you can cook some meth in it as well. That's very true. It's all purpose. It really is. You cook your meth through in the day, you chill your wine at night, he goes in and puts himself on Instagram, problem solved. It's 24-7 fun. It's 24-7 fun. 24-7 fun.

Which actually is what I think they should put at the top of that graph. Yeah, if you did everything on this graph, 24-7 fun. 24-7 fun. I mean, it would be literally a seven day period and then that would be over. You'd have 24 hours of fun for seven days and that would be the end of your life. But for one a week. Go out with a smile. Yeah.

Beef solved. Beef solved. Beef solved. Beef from the zoning are your beef! Beef solved! Righty-ho. I'm gonna share sound for this one because we've got one from the hotline. Oh my god. So, here we go.

Hotline bling. Whoa, daddy. Whoa. Share computer audio. Here we go. Whoa daddy. Share computer audio. Here we go. Alright folks we've had an H, we've had a Hayley and this one comes from Henry. Hi papies, Henry here, long time listener, second time hotliner. I've got a beef I need to help with, a free range beef. I live in a really middle England town called Lichfield, which is far more right leaning than I would like. Case in point, our MP is Michael Fabricant. If you don't know who that is,

it's the one that looks like he's wearing a wig and has refused to address it for the 15 years he's been at Bauer. Anyway, I've got a lot of retirees around me. And our neighbor, they go away quite a lot. A couple of retired teachers, the Morris dancers, church going folk, you know, your typical British retired couple, they've got a motor home and they're constantly going away. And so we often feed their cat, but it's got to the point where they're completely taking the piss. I won't use their name, but it's got to the point where they're completely taking the

piss. I won't use her name, but she popped around yesterday with a list of seven different holidays they're going on between now and October. One of them three weeks long. And has basically just said, here's our holiday date. Didn't really even ask, can you feed the cat? But just implied it. She sent text twice to ask if I've looked at that list yet.

But me and my wife both worked very long hours and just haven't got round to it yet. We've also always done school holidays. We haven't got kids, but my wife's a teacher. So we don't know what we're doing during during school holidays, and we haven't got kids but my wife is a teacher and so we don't know what we're doing during the school holidays but we like to go away if we can. Instead we're now going to feed this sodding cat. Could you please give us any advice you can on how the hell we get out of feeding this cat anymore because it's like 50% of the year that we see

this bloody thing. And I love cats got a couple of cells that they can fucking do one. Anyway, love you guys. Wow. I mean, what I like about that message is the anger really came out the end. Yeah, really? It started very, you know, he started very gently. He was telling us about Michael Fabricant. He was telling us about the sort of Midsummer Murders place he lives and then he lost it towards the end. But fair enough, because he's been pushed too far. I don't even know how you're going to manage seven holidays between now and October. What? The big three weeks? I don't know. I check your calendar. I mean, I know we've all got the same 24 hours in a day as Beyonce, but I don't know how you're going to cram that much into this amount of time.

Yeah, I feel like Beyonce's cat is at home with Beyonce more you've adopted a cat without realizing. That cat is going to be in your, I don't know if he has to go around to her house or if he just adopts the cat, but I mean, that's essentially his cat now, surely. Yeah, I think if you've already got a couple of cats of your own, a couple more cats you're barely going to notice. I'd say, just say, look, you clearly don't want cats. I get it. Yeah. You're on the open road. You love the road more than the litter tray and fair enough, you clearly don't want cats. I got it, yeah. You want to be on the open road. Yeah. You love the road more than the litter tray

and fair enough, you're retirees. Why not? You want to get out there and, you know, you want to get out there and see the parts of the country that it's really hard to travel to, thanks to you guys. Yeah. And, you know, this is, I feel like, yeah, just adopt, just adopt them.

Yeah. One day with a cat, did you take it in your motorhome? I would have thought you could. Yeah, you can do, but maybe they're going on some foreign holidays as well. Or maybe they're just, I mean, they sound like they're Tories, so I don't think anyone else's sort of feelings are really of any concern to them. Sort of their MO, isn't it? Yeah, I mean, I know even if it's an indoor cat, you don't want to be keeping it just in a motorhome. And if the second you open a door and it doesn't know where it is, it just wanders off. I think it's too...

Oh yeah. I think for the cat, it's too risky to say, oh, we're taking the cat on the Northfoot Broads for a bit or whatever. I think that just seems like it's, you know, it doesn't seem fair on the cat. The cat's not the one that Henry doesn't like here. He sort of feels fine about the cat. Parry, what do you think? I'm just thinking about, does, do you have to match them holiday for holiday? Is that the only way to do it? Is it's gonna, it's gonna cost you about a year. Oh cat wars. Yeah but you kind of return you say look return the favor here's our list of holidays and it's the exact same

list as theirs maybe you go so far as to do some rudimentary hacking and find out where they're going and then you could be holidaying in the same place as them and it would be like oh my god Fancy seeing you here again and then you could be holidaying in the same place as them and it was like oh my god it's fantastic seeing you here again and then they'll very quickly start to think they need to find somebody else to catch it it just means that you for a year you've got to do the some hard holidaying with them that's why I think I have to do I'm a big fan of any any beef that uses the phrase rudimentary hacking I really like it. Yeah

You gotta do some you gotta do a little bit of that Yes, they won't believe you at first when you you're gonna say we're away those exact same weeks and they'll go. Yeah And they'll go back into the kitchen to be like I think they're lying to us. And then when you rock up in, you know, Lime Under Regis or wherever it's called, you'd rock up somewhere and be like, oh my God, look, you're here as well. And then they'd be like, oh my God. And then the second time, and then by the third time, they'd know. They'd know. And that might be an option. I think maybe something that maybe would cost less time and money is just to adopt their cat,

not tell them, tell them you lost their cat. They never have to ask you to look after their cat again. You've got an extra cat. It's win, win, win. Swins across the board. Yeah. Just tell them the cat ran away. Yeah. And you bought a cat that looks quite similar. Bonus cat. Different kind of collar. Yeah just tell them the cat ran away. Yeah but you've got it. It looks quite similar. Bonus cat. Different colour. Yeah they know, you know they know.

There's a tension in the air. Everyone knows. Everyone knows, the whole street knows. Don't do anything drastic like dyeing the cat. Don't do anything like that. Keep the cat exactly as is. It's perhaps killer gutting. You don't want curiosity to hide the cat, you know, don't do anything like that. Keep the cat exactly as is. It's perhaps killer guffy. You don't curiosity to hide the cat.

You want to menace in the air. You want them to know. That's what you want. Yeah, you want something a little bit like, yeah, a bit sort of mafioso about it that you're there. You know, you're there stroking the cat, go, no, no, this is my cat. I've always had this cat. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Isn't that right?

Like Eddie from Friends vibes. Exactly. Yeah. Go a little bit, a little bit psycho on them. Yeah. Just a little, you know. Or even easier, just put a vote Corbyn sign in your window. You'll never see them again. Win, win. Vote Corbyn for Lichfield. He's not running here, but.

He's not running here, but they'll freak out so much that he is. Corbin versus Fabricant. Oh, it's the grudge match we've wanted to see for a long time. Oh my God. Yeah. Do you think you can just scare them off by being so left leaning that they're like, actually, fuck this. We'll go to two doors down.

Yeah, exactly. We'll go to two doors down that, you know, actually, fuck this. We'll go. We'll go to two doors down. Yeah, exactly. We go to two doors down that, you know, hate foreigners or something. So I like it. Just got to keep them. Those people trying to each other, leaving you out of it. I like it. Like dress it up as Karl Marx or something when you return it.

Like, yes, we've we've made your cat socialist. But a little beret on it. Yeah, like that. You know, send it back send it back is like a Marxist cat and then see see if that affects them yeah with a little red book and that kind of thing yeah yeah just make your little red book a beret make your Fidel Castro cigar in its mouth yeah exactly Castro Fidel Castro cigar in its mouth. Exactly, Castro. Fidel Castro, send it back as a... Yes, send it back as a cigar.

Nice. Fidel Castro. Very nice. I like that. I think that's good advice for people who even aren't... You know, if you've got a cat in your house, dress your cat as Fidel Castro. Yeah, send us the pictures. Yeah, send us the snaps.

Send us the snaps, guys. We've got to have something else to put on Instagram apart from Clarky doing his ice bath all the fucking time. He's driving me up the wall. Of course, that is a joke. Clarky hasn't stopped doing drugs. He's not, this is the phrase now, is it? For people that get into fitness after caning it off the pills and on the hills.

Oh, my God. Off the pills and on the hill. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's a he's a running blogger now. Yeah. Yes. He runs 100 miles a day, but he's happier. Is he? His knees are worn down to nothing. He's just barely feel a thing.

Yeah. He's skinny as he's skinny as a rake, but he's happier. He is. He absolutely loves it. Well, feed Delcatro beef solved. Yeah, beef solved. I think that's it. OK. Yeah. Beef solved. I think that's it. Beef brother sorting out your beef! Beef solved! Okay. Hoarder beef from Jay.

My beef brother's podcast at gmail.com. Get in touch guys. Dearest Pappies, my wife, who I love oh so very deeply, is a collector of nitwicks. Sorry. I thought that was... Sorry, is it what? I thought that's who she was sending it to. Dear Pappies, my wife and my friends. I thought it was like still. It was a list of greetings. Yeah.

OK, sorry. Dear Papis, full stop. Well, I mean, yes. Do you want us to read the full stops? Because we can do it. Sorry. I haven't actually put one, but it's on a new line. Dear puppies, break.

My wife, who I love oh so very dearly, is a collector of knickknacks, ornaments and trinkets. Some of this paraphernalia is lovely. Some is fine. Some is meh and some is not to my taste at all. This is not the problem however, the issue is that there's hardly any space in the house anymore. I go to put my phone down while I brush my teeth and have to find a gap between a decorative octopus and a weird lobster thing. Oh no! Want to

listen to some vinyl? First remove the Mexican decorative skull, glass fish and weird long plates. can decorative skull, glass fish and weird long plates. Weird long plates. No! Finding somewhere to put them though. Everything is underneath or behind something else. I'm not talking Horrors from Hell level here, just an annoying level of fullness. I would be very grateful for some advice from you lovely people. Love Jim from Names Only. some advice from you lovely people. Love Jim from Names Early. I think this is a cry for help. This woman needs to see somebody professionally to declutter because it's, I think it's trying to make up for something else. Sorry to go deep. I've gone so

deep. No, this is good. This is good to go deep so early. Yeah. Sorry. No, no, no. I like it. Normally we do all the bullshit answers first and then we go, you know, if go deep if ever we but then I love it. Yeah. So you're still saying get yourself we do occasionally get sponsored by better help.com. So, you know, if you do need to speak to a licensed therapist, you can change your therapist at any time. Yeah, I think you know, this woman has a phobia of you know, a clean space. And that's what that's what it sounds like to me. Something bad happened to her. Do you

well, do you think it's a cluttered mind? Do you think that's what it is? Do you think do you think because you know, like, or it could be a cluttered mind? Yeah, let's go with that. I'm just yeah, just gonna move away from something bad happened to her because I that that in itself is not necessarily. Sorry, I didn't mean like, I didn't mean like something truly traumatic. I meant like, you know, she was dumped while she was next to a very clean table or something. Oh, in which case, that's fine. I thought we were going to get into baby reindeer territory here. But no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no reindeer territory here, but no, no, no, no, no, no. In which case, yeah. She was dumped by Marie Kondo and now she wants to fill her flat with shit.

Yes. Great, great. Yeah, exactly that. She was dumped by a minimalist guy who had a cold heart. Yeah, as they do, minimalist guy, minimalist heart. As they wanted to do. Yeah, but well, I mean, maybe she just has a great sense of fun. Because it does seem like, you know, like I've I know people who are collectors, you

know, they're they're kind of enthusiastic. They like to they like to decorate. And it doesn't see it just seems like they, you know, come on, you did what they want to see decorative octopuses around the house doesn't necessarily mean there's there's a trauma there is it no but there is a limit isn't there yes there definitely is I think have you experimented with trying to remove one a day oh very good shout you take the crabs game you move the lobster over yeah I'll go somewhere and like you have a shoebox stash in the shed

and very slowly, one by one, you take out the ones that you think will get noticed the least. Yeah. And you kind of declutter one item at a time. Until slowly over time, you might end up with a clear flat. I think if one gets noticed. You could kind of always go back to the shed and put it back. But then something else goes and you just slowly start to declutter one little bit at a time. You like it's like quiet quitting. It's good. It's good. It's really good. It's a completely, completely bare flat. If he

if you do have a shed though, Jim, I would suggest the first thing you move to the shed is yourself. Start a new life at the bottom of the garden. Yeah, with the gnomes, presumably. Yeah, with all the weird Gothic garden gnomes you saw. Yeah, with the garden paraphernalia. I love that from Parry. I would say that the shed is too close. It's a bit like when you find a mouse in your house, you've got to take it four miles away. Yeah restaurant. Those are the two places you gotta go. But but yeah, I think you just let them down nicely with a lovely meal. It's a five star hotel. Bar snacks.

I think this is good. And I think what you could also do to reinforce your plan is invite friends over and get them to like, they'll have to be in on it and get them to comment on how, oh, the flat's looking nice as you change something. Reinforce the, you know, not cleanliness, you know, the sort of the clean lines of the flat. The space, the spaciousness, the gorgeous horny spaciousness. People love compliments as well, don't they? You know, if you're constantly complimenting how nice the place is.

I mean, I know you're kind of confident yourself because you're the one who cleared the stuff out, but, you know, you know, I tell you what, you you look amazing standing on that bare bit of floor. Yes, exactly. Unless you draw attention to it, the better. Is that what you're saying, Barry? Oh, I see. The other option is you stage a burglary.

That's the clean, that's ripping the plaster off in one, is you burgle your own house. What about insurance though? I used to live in a pub and one of the owners would regularly burgle the pub and so we'd be like oh we've been burgled and stuff would have gone and then after about two years we realized it was with the co-owner was burglings at his own place and putting in claims for insurance so you could go down that route where you burgle yourself and then you claim that knickknacks are worth a lot more than they go, collector's items and then, you know. But then what if the more expensive knickknacks arrive and then you're in a vicious circle

fund? Yeah, but you just keep on making money, wouldn't you? You'd keep making money. I don't know. Anyway, this is slightly different advice. It's illegal. Just very quickly. Oh my God. When does that stop us? No, no, no. I'm halfway through some lovely heroin. I'm going to do some burglary please. Thank you very much. And you know, that kind of stuff is less illegal these days. You know, like we've all, we all set up companies during lockdown to get money off the government and you know, all that kind of stuff.

Yeah, we all fake passports. We all fake that. No, it's all illegal. Sure, we said we'd provide PPE. Of course we did. We're podcast makers. But you know, we got the PPE contract ornamental octopus over your mouth mate

you know it's illegal it's not it's not bad illegal is it and so you know you stick around around exactly back in the days to be illegal so you stage a burglary you stick it all in a bin liner and then you get a bit of a healthy bit of insurance money. You get an uncluttered flat for a while and then you could always go like, oh I was at the car boot sale the other day and I found three things that you and then you've still got, there's some kind of things. The way you get out of it as well is if you were repeating the burglary as you were as you was the original plan is that you say look babe I think it's these ornaments that are drawing them in I think we need to you know we need exactly we need to de-ornament

a little bit too much of a honey trap for our own safety. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So there is that as well. Yes, granted, it isn't very legal. But listen, it's the same sort of murky gray area as rudimentary hacking. So I think it's fine. Exactly, exactly. All you're doing is you're doing a bit of rudimentary hacking on your own property and rudimentary hacking of the insurance system. It's, you know, guys, it's rudimentary. It's hacking. It's fine. It's a little bit of crime. It's a type, it's a soup song of crime. It's just a soup song of crime.

It's a suggestion of crime. Yeah, there's a hint of crime in the air. It's criminal notions, sure. I had a dodgy ex-boyfriend once and I just found this like tub in his room and I just picked it up and I went, oh, what is this, babe? Is it crime? And he was like, it's a bit of crime, yes. He was selling some weed.

That's a bit of crime, isn't it? Bit of crime. It's a little bit of crime, isn't it? So of crime. That's a little bit of a crime, isn't it? So just before we wrap up this bod, do you want to... Oh, we must. Parry, what was the name of that guy who was committing the fraud? And Alex, tell us the name of that boyfriend. Because...

For research purposes. We pretend it's a film podcast, but actually we're trying to catch some naughty faces in the act is what we're trying to do. This is what it's like, yeah. This is actually one of the, yeah, a sting. Yeah, exactly. Well, you're listening to SnitchPod. SnitchPod! Oh, SnitchPod's a good idea.

I love that. I love it, Snitch on you. Happy Scratcha. I'm just getting it. Snitches get knickknacks. But yeah, Beef Soft. Yeah. I think we've done really well there. Yeah, we've done fantastic.

Yeah. Beef, brother, signing out your beef! Beef soft! Alexandra, it's been such a pleasure having you on the show. Oh, thank you for having me. It's been a joy. Where can people find you? Where can people see you doing your stuff?

I mean, I've got a lot of work to do. I've got a lot of work to do. I've got a lot of work to do. I've got a lot of work to do. I've got a lot of work to do. I've got a lot of work to do. I've got a lot of work to do. I've got a lot of work to do. I've got a lot of work to do. I've got a lot of work to do. I've got a lot you for having me. It's been a joy.

Where can people find you? Where can people see you doing your stuff? Where can they follow you? Oh, they can follow me on Instagram, at Alexandra Haddo, all one word, like shadow with no S and two Ds. That's the pitch. Yeah. Perfect.

You can see all the stuff on there. I'm always gigging about, I'm always doing something or running an indie night That's the pitch. Perfect. You can see all the stuff on there. I'm always gigging about. I'm always doing something or running an indie night where we don't play Radiohead because it's a bit too sad. So sorry. Great. We'll definitely try and come down to one of your indie nights.

I'd love to do that. Oh, please do. So much fun, honestly. Yeah, where do they happen? We're looking for a new venue at the moment because we were at 21 Soho and they employed a cool tactic of not paying anyone. So, yeah, okay. So if there are any London venues that are happy to pay people for the work they do,

then please do get them. That would be great. With Alexandra Haddow through the usual channels. Yeah, fantastic having you on the show. See you very soon. Oh, thank you so much, guys. Cheers. Cheers. Don't forget, Beefbrotherspodcast.gmail.com or as Pierre Nivelli might put it, Send us your beefs, you whining fucks. Ah, a lovely time was had by all, I think.

Yeah, that was a lovely time, guys. It was, wasn't it? It was. It was lovely. Lovely, yeah. And as we say, What should we do now? Yeah, what do you fancy? guys it was wasn't it it was it was lovely yeah and as we say it was you know yeah what you fancy I know what you do know I said she's Chinese it's quarter past nine what you want to what you want to do I mean we do you keep this yeah she cracked me yeah she'll get it she'll get some tinnies and ever should you

ever lock in should you ever late night lock in on the pods? Okay. Let's get into this shall we? I can't. Alright. Let's get into this. Let's get into this. Let's get into this.

Let's get into this. Let's get into this. Let's get into this. Let's get into this. Let's get into this. Let's get into this. Let's get into this. Let's get into this.

Let's get into this. Let's get into this. Let's get into this. Let's get into this. Let's get into this. Let's get into this. Let's get into this. Chindi, he's just chindi can of pork and beans, that was unbelievable. I'll tell you the prank that I've got. I've got, I'm working up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Have you been in the supermarket recently and you see, have you seen they do like large tins of gravy? You know, like stocking a can and they're, they're about the same clout as a can of lager. I'm really really working up for you know the next time we're all next time we're a gig or in a field or and everyone's passing out the cans and it's like here's a drink the bottom of my bag I got like I've got like a live rat into Clarky's hair yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Imagine that you get handed a tin, eh? And you crack it open and it's gravy. It's all gravy. No way, best case scenario, isn't it?

I quite like it. I do enjoy it. Just get a can of gravy. If it was late at night, like a festival, I'm normally starving. So I'd be absolutely delighted if I could just, you know... I don't need another can of BrewDog. What I need is some beef stock just to nourish me. That's exactly what I need. Stick a bit of vodka in it maybe?

Oh, alcoholic gravy. A late-night cocktail? Hard gravy! Do we start selling hard gravy on the main stage? Oh baby, it's hard gravy. I don't mind hard. Hard.uk. Nick, knock, nick, knock, nick, hard gravy. Oh yeah, anyway the locking's gone well. So thanks very much.

It was great. That was a good locking. That was a good locking. Was that tomorrow? It was. It was fracking. Can someone get this right out my head please. Oh, worst case, oh anyway, let's not dwell on that. Today's episode was produced by Emma Corsham. Corsham team!

Cheers everyone, bye! Bye! Working in the trades is intense. Eeeeee! Our silence speaks volumes. See how you can help, or get help, at Canada.ca slash ease the burden. A message from the Government of Canada.