Pappy's Flatshare - Beef Brothers Cold Cuts w/ Bella Hull S12E12

Episode Date: April 18, 2022

The Beef Brothers are here to sort out your beef with special guest Bella HullBella Hull - https://twitter.com/bellabellahullPappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetIf you have a flatshare based beef you'd like us to solve then send it to [e-mail] us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareLIVE IN PERSON SHOWSMACH FESTSATURDAY 30TH APRIL: Celya AB & Catherine Bohart https://machcomedyfest.co.uk/show/2022/pappys-flatshare-slamdown-5/SUNDAY 1ST MAY : Rosie Jones & Mike Bubbins https://machcomedyfest.co.uk/show/2022/pappys-flatshare-slamdown-6/Produced by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greetings, Lister Dear, I'm Tom. I'm Ben. I'm Matthew and welcome to another episode of Papi's Flat Share Beef Brothers Cold Cuts. That's right where we get a comedian guest on and solve your Lister Dear's beefs, where any problems you have with the people you live with, we get one of our comedy pals on, we read them out and we solve your beefs. Yes, yes, beautifully put on. Public service really. It is a public service and if you'd like to be part of that public service, beef brothers podcast at gmail.com. We'd love to read your beefs, we'd love to solve them

for you and you know what's good is we've been doing this now for a couple of years and we still get a real variety of problems and dilemmas and we're still, I would say, no better at solving them. If anything, we're going the other way. Yeah, I think tonight's episodes maybe, yeah, may prove you right there, actually. I'm sure you solve any beast. But you know what, we have a very good time chatting to our fantastic guest, Bella Hull, more from her in just a second, but we should say that we're going to be at the Macumpul of Comedy Festival with two live flat-share slam downs. So if you're going to be at Mac, come and see us there.

The 30th and the 1st. It's the Saturday morning and the Sunday morning at 11.45am. We're going to be doing flat-chest slam downs at Mac. So go to MaccomedyFest.com.uk for details of those. It's literally as late in the morning as you could put on a show really, let's be honest. I'd still call it the morning. You're not going to get later in the morning than that. I think we're the final morning show of the day. Oh, yeah. So we're lining the morning. Yeah.

We're closing up the morning strong, exactly. That's great. So I can really, I'm exclusively reveal now that the guests are going to be absolutely superb guests. I'm really pleased you've got really, really strong lineups. It's going to be a Celia A.B. and Catherine Bowhart on the Saturday, superb. And then the age-old grudge match of Mike Bubbins

versus Rosie Jones on the Sunday. So all good pals, all fantastic comedians, and a lot of first-timers there as well. A lot of first-timers for a live flat-stam, so it's gonna be, it's gonna be very exciting. Come along, see you there, maccomedyfest.com.uk, get your tickets and enjoy it. Bring a packed lunch because we are closing at the morning, but we are encroaching on lunch.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We won't, we won't be offended if anyone gets out some cucumber sandwiches towards the end of the record. It's lunchtime, man. Gone midday, it's lunchtime. I'm not for everyone. I'm not for everyone. Yeah.

But anyway, let's crack into this fantastic episode of Be Brother's Cold Cuts. Well, if you've got a problem, I'm calling a problem. If you've got a problem call a bee. If you've got a bee, maybe we can help you be from the sorting I can be. Well Emma's used to wading through a lot of fluff. Easter themed. Easter themed fluff. Fluff. Easter's fluffy, right?

Yeah, I guess so. I mean, I guess the fluffy bunnies, yeah. Chicks, they're fluffy. Yeah. Sure. I mean, it's probably the fluffiest of the national holidays. Yeah, that's so true. I'd say, you know.

Christmas is more twinkles. Christmas is twinkly, it's maybe a little bit crispy as well. Oh, Christmas isn't so crispy. Yeah, you know, Christmas is the crispiest. Deep and crisp beneath Christmas. Yeah, you know, like deep and crisp and even snow. That's sort of cool. I don't think it's snow as crisp.

I think it's crisps as crisps. Crisp. Oh, we should say we ask, we ask sponsored by crisps aren't we, this episode? We ask you to be a bit more subtle and ace of how you mentioned crisp. Big crisp. Big crisp.

Big crisp. Easter's fluffy, but with the strongland or current of death, isn't it really? Yeah. Well, rebirth, I think, I think good Friday's fluffy, but with the strongland of current of death, isn't it really? Yeah. Well, rebirth, I think, I think good Friday's death, Easter is rebirth, isn't it? I know you, in order to be reborn, you have to die, unfortunately, but yeah.

I don't think it would have had as much impact if on Sunday, on Easter Sunday, Jesus has just gone, you know what, I feel like a new man. You know, people just assumed that a really good rest. Yeah. You've got to. He said he died. RIP vibes. Oh, huge RIP vibes to quote the Bible. And on the third day he rose again. What do you, they rolled away the vibes and out he came. Yeah, what do you say? There's no, we don't have an acronym for when someone

rises again. You've got, this is the thing because you've got RIP for resting peace. I think it's just hashtag slay. I think it's just hashtag slay. Jesus is risen hashtag slay. I think hashtag slay isn't that Christmas again surely? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's Matthew obviously. Well my favourite of the gospels. So let's

talk about welcome on the show by the way. Thank you. Thanks for coming. What's your flat sharing arrangement? Do you share a flat? Who are you looking with? I do share a flat. I moved into this flat in October. Right. Because I was living with my then boyfriend. Ah.

We broke up. Me and my ex were then continued to live together for three months after we'd broken up. RIP, that was RIP vibes. That was the most potent RIP vibes that were around at that point. Can I talk very quickly about this then? Was there anyone else in the flat shell? Was it just you and him living together? No, just me and him, just me and him.

And what were the sleeping arrangements then? He's got to do so far, right? So the sleeping arrangements were... You top to tails. We, okay, so what happened was, we broke up at my parents house for like a breather getaway and ended up breaking it up. No, no, it's like a fail.

Yeah, in my childhood bedroom. In my childhood bedroom, we broke up. He's now dating your mum mum is that right? He's And then he left to get it was when they were living in Henley on terms at the time and he left to go back and I stayed And then from that moment on we had three months of the lease left, but it was so It wasn't at Cremonius really a tool, but it was very not shelf, but it was one side. It was all you basic kind of. Not that it's a competition unfortunately, but...

You took him to your childhood bedroom and dumped. You sound like a monster. It wasn't. It wasn't fucking... Was he just like notting Sourvanean family? Did he not match up to any of the hunks he had under posters on your wall and you were suddenly like wait a minute. He didn't match up to Peter Andre, mysterious girl. Who does? He nobody does these days and so then we had three months left and so what would happen was I would just have a week in the flat and then I would go back to so my parents

and then he would have a week and we would have a lot of no so you'd like time share we would time share yeah so we were never in the flat apart from at one point when I was I came back and he hadn't quite left yet and I was I needed to go off for a really important gig. It was like a trial spot that I was unable to fuck up. And I saw him and then I just sobbed the whole way to the gig. Oh no. My agent was there and then I did the gig but the gig actually went really well because I

find that when I've had the worst day of my life, the gigs go really well. How's your day been today? I've had a boring day! Okay, I'll tell you what, stop recording, we'll come back in a few days time. I've had a boring day until now, so that's fun. I've actually got a ditch by my friend, I got stood up, not stood up, but she cancelled lots of work, which I thought was weird. So were the only three people you want to hang out with you basically?

Yeah, you guys Basin? Yeah. You guys are my friends now. Did you say, come and meet me, my child's a bedroom? I've not seen you before. So yeah, that was the situation for three months. You're out of that situation now, but you're now in a new living arrangement. You moved in in October. Yeah.

What's the setup now? Who are you living with? So I'm living with three girls who I met on the internet. Um. Ice-melasid corn. And we actually all work in, well, three out of four of us work in either like media or TV. So one of my housemates works for the chase.

Oh, wow. So she's exciting. So she comes home and the amount of dirt I have on the chases. You have no idea. No idea. Wow, this is good stuff. Bradley Walsh, delightful. He's a delight. It's Bradley Walsh, don't we know? Well, did I just make that up? Yes. No, no, no, yeah, yeah, this, by the way, this whole, I've got Goss on the chase. If you don't know, Bradley Walsh is on the chase. It's all sort of slightly falling apart. Listen, I've got goss on the chase if you don't know Bradley watches on the chase It's all sort of slightly falling apart listen, I've got some you've become an unreliable soul I've got some great goss on the chase. It's hosted by Bradley Wolf

Anyone else? So I live with her. I live with a girl that works For LBC. She does the news on LBC Leading Britain's conversation hell yeah, that's what she's doing right now. I love it. Charlotte Lynch, I don't know if you know her. Well I work in the same building as LBC. Do you? In Lester Square?

In Lester Square, the global building. Yeah, yeah, so I'll look out for Charlotte Lynch next time and I'll say, tell me some gossip about the chase because Bella's got nothing. Bella's got nothing. I want to have some real gossip about the chase. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and yeah. I wanted to real gossip about the chase. Yeah. Yeah.

Um, um, I mean, it's a better setup now, basically. You're in a happier situation. It's way better, yeah. It's a much bigger place. There's a proper kitchen and, um, I don't know, before I was just, it was like a kitchen at vibe. It was very small, especially when you're like kind of having tension with someone, you cannot get away from them.

But now I can just go into my room. Yeah. And it's great. And that's it's my room. In a small kitchen when you are, you know, madly in love with the person, it's still a bit of a nightmare isn't it? Oh god, yeah, yeah. Try to share a kitchen. Try to share a galley kitchen with someone. Yeah. Because also I'm quite small and all of my boyfriends have been quite tall, but moose like in their kind of coordination. And when they try something romantic like me a dinner, I just end up kind of co-parenting the dinner.

And then I get so annoyed with them, even though they're trying to do something nice for me. And I end up just sort of tiger mumbing them. Do you know what I mean? So your type is Climsy Men. Yeah, Dis-Brach 6. Yeah. From the starting of your beef!

Tom, if we start with yours, because I think your one is quite, is quite apropos. Oh, actually. It's stuff. Okay, well, three is a crowd beef from Mysterious Girl via beefbrotherspodcast.gmail.com. Oh my God. It's not what a coincidence. You literally just talking about Peter Andre.

And we've given you a shout out already Mysterious Girl. This is absolutely insane. I believe what I'm hearing. High beef brothers and guests. My beef is an emotional minefield. I live in a flat with my two male flatmates. Let's call them Zane and Luca. We all met in first year union. I've lived together since the second year. In the second year, we lived with Zane's girlfriend, Gia, and my girlfriend, Sally, throughout lockdown. The group was harmonious when we moved in together, I wasn't very close to Luca.

There's the old trope lesbians and gay guys don't get on, and at that point I thought it was true. We just didn't gel, but we moved in together because we had a mutual friend in Gia, and I was a close friend with her boyfriend's name. I did. Right, can I stop? Can I stop for a second? Is anybody else lost with dynamics? There's a lot of books where like you open up the book and the first thing you see is a map. Like, you know what I mean?

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I should say they are all else. And... This is like, are I mart Martin. This is what this is like Yeah, we need I live in a flat we jump back up the truck So mysterious girl lives in a flat with her two male flatmates Zayn and Luca. Yeah Yes, the series girl has a girlfriend Sally No, yeah

In the second year already holding on to my girlfriend. So, Zane has a girlfriend, Jia. Right. And Miss Devious Girl has a girlfriend, Sally. Right. And who didn't she get along with? Luca is... Right. Yeah, you got it. But they were very close to begin with. Yeah. I thought, oh, yeah, that's right.

And Luca is basically... He's a floating entity. He's not connected to anyone with. Yeah, I thought, oh, yeah, that's right. And Luke, we do. And Luke is basically, he's, he's a floating entity. He's not connected to anyone else. He's a, he's a friend, but he's not in a part. So far, that's all we know. He's not floating entity. He's like a sprite or a ghost. He's not one of the ways to play. On the map, it does seem to apply that. So, I'm glad to be back to the truck because I was getting, yeah, I was getting a jumble as well. When we moved in, I wasn't very close to Luca. There's the old truck that Lesbian and Gagos don't get on. At that point, I thought it was true.

We just didn't gel. But we moved in together because we had a mutual friend in Gia. So, Zane's, anyway, that's not going to start going to another one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was close friends with her by friend Zane. I did over time as exposure group grow to love Luca in the way one loves a younger brother. Love that there was balance.

Okay. Luca has Jaya as best friend Zane and I were best friends and we all lived in harmony. But in the third, I'm so sick. I'm so sick. We were so sick. So hard. Change, girlfriend.

I've gone cross-eyed.eyed. In the third year. Oh man. Moved out. Hang on, Russ is so jitter. What is the first question at the end? There's going to be a mass question at the end. How many pumpkins were left? Which one of them goes to?

It's all the time they've been posted. They can't be in the motos, do you? They will eat gear is a bag of grain that floats in the sky. And which one of them's on the chase? All we know is they're all the fucking down there. All right, so I live in a flat mate. A team of flatmates, Zayn and Luca, right? So Zayn and Luca there. Gia is Zane.

What's the thing? What's the emotional meat potatoes up there? Maybe that'll help us out. In the third year, Gia moved out to do her year abroad. This, by the way, is like hearing my mum tell a story. Right. You know, all these people from church, I should know about. You know her.

She was in the year about you. I don't know her. Yeah, yeah. OK, here's the gist. OK, there was balance because there was two guys and a girl, but then there were two girlfriends floating around as well. But in the third year, Gia, Lucas girlfriend, moved out

to do her year abroad. And mysterious girls girlfriend also moved to study in another city. This has left Zane and I living with Luca, gay floating Luca, who is someone either of us would traditionally choose to be friends with, but who we love from general exposure. So the glue has fallen away. Yeah, okay, so the two girls that gel the groups gathering away have gone, leaving mysterious girls saying, and Luca, this is where the beef begins.

Luca is quite immature. You know what, if this is where the beef begins, I started there, man. I know, that's what the whole beef is for. We don't know about all your mates who've backed off to other cities. Just tell us about who you're concerned. I reckon this is our cereal. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, to work out who did it. I've got so. Right, the beef begins here. Luca is quite immature.

He's very into Tietok and his appearance. He doesn't have many hobbies or interests. He's very kind but also quite anal and sensitive. Zain is not. I think Luca is me. I'm so happy. I'm really happy. That's a sad story.

It just says like Luca. I love to look at my appearance, yes please. Luke just sounds like Gen Z. Zayden and I, however, extremely laid back and relaxed people who are quite transparent, if a bit lazy and messy occasionally. Luke is very past-agged, so when he wants us to clean up, he'll text messaged over very small issues, such as a few crumbs on the counter. More than this though, Luca is very sulky and jealous.

So when Zayn and I are maybe smoking a dooby and having a giggle, he will feel left out because we are giggling about Russian history, which he isn't interested in. In general, if Zayn and I are talking about our shared interests, he will become quiet and sulky, never trying to understand or engage with the topics, which we assume is Russian history. No, I don't know. And it's not always niche things. We talk about music or fashion or politics. Nothing tickles his fancy. We're always pandering to him in conversation and where we decide to go out because we are desperate to avoid the salty pass ag responses. He mostly just wants to get drunk

and go clubbing. We have very different taste in music and scene. So even not and scene. So we have very different taste in music and scene. We do the play there. It feels like it. It's slightly too complicated. It's got a large cast. I can tell you that. Where are those two actresses from the act one? Oh, they left. They left. Anyway, so even this ends up with a sulky response or disinterest on our side. He is quite insecure knowing his relationship with Zane or myself. He's less close, but we can't help getting on so well. Please, Papi, how do I know I got this awkward situation without triggering a soak bomb? You're sincerely winky emoji, mysterious girl.

Okay, right. Well, we all need to complete change of blood after that because that was, I mean, do you know what? I nearly passed out at the end. I would say that the fact that you've been able to learn everyone's names shows that you've already got the wherewithal to navigate the situation with, you know, the emotional side of the situation because it seems complicated. You know, actually, here's a thing. Do you think, and I, you know, we shouldn't turn it

straight back on the stereo skill, but do you think that perhaps that there is an element of over complicating a fairly simple situation here. Do you think actually what the actual problem is, you've got to mate, you are maybe, because obviously, you know, you're going to be a little bit guilty about being better friends with the other person, and you just have to kind of deal with the fact that that is going to be all relationships forever. Yeah, that's the case.

You're going to have favourites, you're going to have, you're going to have people get on bet with you. And it, to be honest, it sounds like Luke has a little bitch, do you know what I mean? Texting about the crumbs, texting about the crumbs, what a loser. Get along, man. You have to ungrettle. It's tricky in a three though, isn't it? Because if two people get closer than the one, the one person can feel a bit left out,

like, you know, if you find out, like, they've, they've, say they've been to see back to the future of the musical and that like, you just didn't get the call, you'd be like, I don't know. Ah! Yeah. Well, this is what happens when one friend moves around the session time. And you get written out of the story. I'm Switzerland.

Exactly. The reason we brought Bella and here is to be a neutral, you know, media. Can I ask you a question? Between, have you seen back to the future of the musical and do you want to? I've got to get further. I love to. Should we go? Yeah, definitely go.

It's just one best musical at the Olivier's. So, you know, it's a great time to go to the audience. Great time for two best friends to go and hang out. Great. So, I think, you know what, I think you're right there, Bella. I think the problem is, you are, mysterious girl is worrying about a situation that seems kind of basically unsolvable, you know?

You're not going to be mates, you've been friends with them for a long time, you've been acquaintances, you know, you know, each other for a long time, it sounds like years, and nothing's really clicked, just accept that that's the way it's gonna be. You know, it sounds like it's a unique type of flat share arrangement,

so that's not going to last forever. Can I say to defend the prologue? Let's, let's not forget the prologue. Gia. Yeah. Gia is Zane's girlfriend and Lucas best friend. She is the key to this dynamic. She's back in a year's time.

She's gone to do her year abroad. So this situation is temporary It's true. By the fact by the time I finished reading it, G is probably come back That's the last line of it. Oh by the way, she's gone a better go It's only a year abroad, right? And so you have to think that if they can hold on, if we can find a temporary solution to this, yeah. Is it worth scouting around for someone, Gia Esk, to hang out with?

Oh, yes. Who might be very, very good. Is fourth little click in the puzzle? Yeah. What do we know about Gia that we can glean from the prologue? What are we looking for? A thousand years ago, that tribe of Gia fought a battle. I don't know.

We just know it's Zayn Stain's girlfriend. And Lucas, so yeah. So yeah, so yeah. So Lucas best mates. So that's it. What you need to do is the next time you go out when you go out clubbing, try and nab yourself a Gia for the night, you know nab yourself a Gia for the night.

You know, and if the Gia for the night works out, keep it as a Gia for the Gia for the week. If Luca has something exciting going on in his life, he might not be as bothered about the crumbs. That's a really good point. Yeah, yeah, so do you need to sort of set Luca up with somebody or try and get him a hobby? Yeah, suggest crochet.

Exactly, it leaves some model trains around the house. This is all it. There was something, there's a baby over here where it says, Zayn and I are smoking a dooby and having a giggle together. And he feels left out. And it's like, I feel in this case, maybe weed is like the back to the future musical, you know, of the house.

Sure. In the, there together having a doobie and having a laugh and Paul Lucas like, hello, I'm here, just because I'm not forgetting high and talking about Russian history. Where the analogy falls down is that you, crucially, Tom are not here. You weren't sat in the same room as me and Clark, you're going, I'd love to go. We're like, no, we're off. You, you are, I'm in this situation, you're saying I no, we're off. You are, you are, I'm the only one. I'm the only one in this situation you're saying.

I'm doing my year abroad. You're a G. Exactly, very much. You're doing your year abroad, yeah, for the rest of your life. But yeah, I think that's it, isn't it? I mean, it does sound that they've tried to find things that they all through them enjoy, and there aren't that many really.

So you do have to, you know, come on. And there's only so much to do. There's serious guilty of it. You can do to someone like that where they're not giving you anything back after a while you do just have to give up. Although, you know what, it seems like whenever I've been on TikTok, checking out Luca, well, I'm going to

find a good look for him now, yeah, absolutely. But it seems like quite a lot of quite a lot of a TikTok is People doing dances often with their you know with their whole families. They'll do a dance all choreographed There's nothing more unifying Like in Backstitch music, yeah But crucially that was just doc and Marty doing a dance, you know Yeah, no. But crucially, that was just doc and Marty doing a dance,

you know. Two best friends, right? Two best friends. Yeah. Exactly. One of them looks way older than they are. But I think, what about that?

What about doing some, say, hey, let's do some TikTok challenges together. Let's do some TikTok challenges together. Let's do some TikTok challenges together. If you love that as well, and do some TikTok. Let's get hammered, go out clubbing, and when we get home, we'll do a choreographed dance to some TikTok challenges together. It's wrong because you love that as well. Let's get hammered, go out clubbing, and when we get home, we'll do a choreographed dance to some K-pop.

I mean, I think Luke is saying, he's got more going on. Luke likes getting drunk and going out. These guys like sitting down and smoking a dude and talking about Russian history. I actually think, What else did they say, pop culture and music? Yeah, but...

So, you know, I feel like... I think just wait it out. I think just wait it out. I think just wait it out. Or let's get a geobach earlier. Maybe sabotage here abroad, you know. Get a geobach or a visit. Yeah, let's do let's get some kind of elaborate thing going on where ge we get georecord to the house to sort it all out.

Get her deported. Yeah. Sprit get some kind of allegation going that she's a spy or something, like contact the university where she's at and say show you know, some fake papers or something and let's get, let's get, let's get Jeehy back in this country, back in this house. Yeah. Well, that seems like the most reasonable one so far. Yeah, exactly.

Frame Jeehy to be involved in some sort of international espionage. She'll be back. You'll be able to enjoy your split and your chats about Zara Alexander II and they'll be, you know, the equilibrium will be returned to the house. Beef solved. That was a filet minuul. Beef from the sorting I can beef solved. Okay, stairway beef from Willf. I live with my parents and frequently clash with my mum over a stairway issue. She insists that if you are at the bottom of the stairs, it is common etiquette to let the person at the top down first.

I'm always at the bottom, but I am much faster, so I should and must go first. I've never heard of this rule and it does not exist in the internet, so it must be false, Will. Shivalry's dead? Can I just say as well, Will, you are not always at the bottom. I'm not even going to go away with it. You can't always... Yeah, that's a real ruffle there we've got going on because the idea that you have got stairs in your house That you're always at the bottom of the second you take a step onto the first step to go to zoom past your mother

You're not at the bottom of the stairs anymore. I was so named he's MC. I sure that's his I was gonna say yeah It's an impossible staircase. I should say that it's an impossible beef I'm always at the bottom. How do you feel about etiquette though? It's almost quite similar to the chew, like let people off first. Yeah, I'm trying to think. But then what is off with the stairs?

Yeah, that's a very good point. I think as well, I've tried to cover this before, but like etiquette on the tube, you don't want to offend anyone by being too etiquettey. You don't want to be like, no, no, madam, sit down. After you and she's like, look, I'm not. And then she just thinks,

80, present a bit of life for me. Yeah, it's all that kind of stuff. And so I like, I do think, but when it's your mom, I mean, like letting your mom come down the stairs. Well, how does Wilph say he says, I could and must go first. LAUGHTER

What's the sentence? What's the phrase he uses? I am always at the bottom, but caps locks. I am much faster, so I should caps locks and must caps locks go first. I should and must go first. This reminds me. Yeah, I don't. Gone, gone better.

I will just say. It's just after you. After you like that, of course, after you. I'm excited. This is this wolf guy. Just let your mum get, I mean, what are you instead of hurry to do? I mean, the big thing is she's your mum, isn't she?

Yeah. Come on. What you should be in a hurry to do is get out of his big thing is she's your mum, isn't she? Yeah. Come on. What you should be in a hurry to do your mum. You should get out of his parents house and get a place in the room. Well, listen, listen. It's easy to say that when you're not always at the bottom, mate. That's exactly. Always at the bottom, now I'm here.

Still at the bottom. Wow. So, this reminds me of a gig, a competition gig, back when I was first starting doing stand-up. It was one of the laughing horse competitions. Classic. I was in the 90s. I think it was. So Tom, our semi-final positions, they no longer... I've got to go to the cashier. I'm in my CV. But we had there was an MC and I won't embarrass him by naming him. But he was good old Bradley. But he announced me onto the stage for this competition.

And I I bounded onto the stage. I shook his hand as you do, you know, shake the hand of the MCI, I bowed it onto the stage. And as I was shaking his hand, he pulled me towards him. And the audience was still kind of doing that kind of weak applause, put that they don't, it doesn't quite get you all the way to the microphone. And he sort of goes, says in my ear, you always let the MC off the stage first before you get onto the stage. And like this is, by the way, this is like probably one of my sort of, I mean, double digits max on gigs. And I'm about to do a competition set as well. So I've got a little bit stressed and he bollocks me for that.

And I've literally never heard that anywhere else. You've got, you can't let the, what if you're playing, no, that's not true, is it? And also what if you're playing a big stage? What are you doing in the Apollo? The Apollo, yeah. You let the guy walk all the way off the stage and then you can, I mean, actually,

that's not a bad move. You've been in the Apollo. Let the audience reweight. So you let the curtain go up with the smoke blaring before you walk forward. LAUGHTER Don't bust through the curtains. Don't jump through the curtains.

Oh, in the other jodes. But it feels a little bit like this. It feels like that mum here has invented a rule. But at the same time, I think there's more logic to it. Because the person coming down the stairs is in a more unstable situation than the person going up the stairs. You're more like to fall over

when you're coming down than you are going up. It's not true. Agreed. Gravity. I think... It's theed. Gravity. I think. I mean, it's the same because I didn't grab the time. It's more people to fall down than it is to fall up. Yeah.

I mean, yes, but you could still fall backwards, walking up, and that would still be falling down. But I'm saying, if you're, yeah. Right. You should have a hold up. So that's how I heard of. That's unheard of. No, you know, I've definitely had a heart attack

or something. You've all gone over on a roller skate. Or be in a cartoon. Yes, that's true. Someone's left marbles on the steps. Mccawley Culkin's left over the marbles. Yeah, it's a banana. Running on the spot and then flying back will be

famously not home alone. Surely you twist around. If you're falling backwards on the stairs while walking up it, you surely twist around like a cat. To your then sort of fall in forward In my in my scenario I would I was carrying a tray Oh, okay, I think I don't know why but in my mind I think I was carrying a tray up the stairs It's not carrying a carrier. They should get provative. Yeah, it's where I'm going

This is you know what then this is now listen Gia is going out with because then suddenly it's, we'll carry a tray with you at all times, and then you'll always get pro. There we go. There's, we don't want that. We'll be so. LAUGHTER Also, if you've got a tray on you, the easiest way to come back down.

Maybe that's why he's always walking. LAUGHTER What ride the tray down the stairs? Yeah, you walk up with the tray, you drink the tea at the top of the stairs, you slide back down. What a great life. Perfect. Yeah.

But I think that's what you need to do. You need to have some sort of hierarchy. You need to have some sort of thing of like, okay, it's always the person at the top of the stairs goes down first unless the person at the bottom of the stairs has a tray. It's quite a simple rule, really. Because if she's gonna hit you with her rules, you could just say, look, no, mum, I've checked this out. I've been on the internet, don't bother checking it yourself, but you can listen to this podcast. Because never cross on the stairs. That is a thing, right?

Never cross on the stairs. It's a fast look, right? Or something? If you cross on the stairs, you have to fuck. Yeah, after all, of course. It's just mum for God's sake, Bella. Jesus Christ, we need a system in place. We can't have a spanking the monkey style situation.

We need a gorgeous reference. A lovely, really. Okay, that's it. Early David O'Russell reference there for Tom Perry. We can't have not afraid to do it. We can't have a situation where that, you know, so I think you are right. We do need a system in place to stop this dude from fucking his mum.

So I think you are right. We're doing his system in place to stop this dude from fucking his mom. Ha ha ha ha ha. Okay, I have a feeling we may have solved this beef at the first mention of tray. Ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah, I agree. Trey privilege.

That's the one nobody's talking about. You know what this question was? Trey Bien. Yeah. It was T Tré Trébien and I feel like that is beef solved. For all of us, right? Sorry, Welfth. Apologies, Welfth. BEEF FROM THE SORNING I CAN BE SOUTH! TUMBLE BEAF from Matthew, not me, another Matthew via Beef Brothers podcast at gmail.com. Get in touch. Matthew writes, Hi beef brothers and guests. I have a beef for you regarding the use of the household appliance, the tumble dryer.

Very quickly. Anyone got one? Oh, no, live and dive right? I've got a washer dryer combo. Which is, do you ever use the dryer a bit of it? Megan does, I don't, because all it does is just warm up. The orange, the orange, the orange. It's not the same as the dryer. So, Matthew, lucky enough. I've lived with my best friend David for around seven years, just outside of London.

For many years, we had an unwritten, but gentleman's agreement, we wouldn't use the tumble dryer except during peak winter months. When are those though? I mean, it's still two weeks ago, didn't it? Did he put that in? No, no, no.

I'm not gonna throw him under the bus. That was my own editorializing there. This was due to the cost and environment, and it felt like a smart decision to use one less electrical item when we could just hang the washing out. Fair enough. However, during the Covid period, David has started to break this pact, and it started to use the tumble dryer. At first, it was so that we could both fit in the washing in the drying we needed to do as we had limited space. Fair enough. This resulted in a 20 minute cycle towards the end of the drying we needed to do is we had limited space. Fair enough. This resulted in a 20 minute cycle

towards the end of the drying session to finish them off. I rarely did this. Only sticking to the original theory of doing it in winter. I have learnt since that my flatmate has been increasing the usage. I'm not sure how long it's been going on, but I suspect a while. Has he been tumble drying straight out of the washer

for 20 to 30 minutes? Hang in them up for a day and then tumble dry them again for another 20 to 30 minutes. We've both been working at home, but I work in my room, which is the other end of the flat to the kitchen, where the dryer is located. So I only became aware of the sneaky addition. When I happened to go into the kitchen, early in the one I usually would do, my flat makes main response to this is, I like the way it makes my clothes feel. What's the problem with using the tumble dryer just to be clear? Is it expensive or something? Yeah. Yeah, I think it's an environmental issue, it's an expense issue and also they're

already crucially they've made a rule. Okay. They're only going to use it. I imagine this is a pretty expensive living crisis as well. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. It could well have been. Yeah. What spurred this email was walking into the kitchen now and seeing the tumble dryer set to 50 minutes. No. Could have been running before I went in. Seemingly, the usage just continued to increase without my knowledge.

Especially today when the sun is out and our flat gets quite warm with the sun tends to shine on it most of the day. So, beef brothers, what should I do? I feel like a bit of a chump. As generally, I've been avoiding the tumble dryer since we moved in. I generally say using it under 25 times when my flatmate Seamany has been using it three to four times a week. Should I start using it? Creating some sort of

drying arms race. Probably feels like a bad time with bills expecting to skyrocket and I've tried to be environmentally focused over the past several months. Should I try and talk him out of what I believe is an obsessive usage or just let it go. In general, I'm quite a relaxed, chilled person and tend to let things be. Somehow I end up being the flat bin man, but that's another beef for another day. But this one has started to bother me. There's been playing on my mind for some time. Thanks for all your help, Matthew. Now I think again, I think that, I think that often we get this with a beef, where the last bits, you really drill down into the nub of what Matthew's worried about.

You can have to read just how kind of a zoned out to be honest, he was good. That's okay, Tom, that's all right. I don't worry, it was quite a long message. I was still recovering. I was giggling a lot about the idea of Wilk for this moment in the train. So, I'm not going to lie to you that that has been making me chuckle stuff. That's been that's been that's been for fun in your mind. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. This dude in his tumble dryer.

So yeah, what was the bit at the end? Okay. What was the bit? He ends it by saying in general, I'm quite a relaxed chilled person and tend to let things be. Somehow I end up being the flat bin man, but that's another beef for another day, but this one has started to bother me

has been playing on my mind for some time. Thanks for all your help. I think, I think that's the problem. I think you are sick and tired of being a relaxed chilled person. Yeah, I think that the tumble dry problem is emblematic of many other problems. And it's the straw that broke the camels back.

It's tumble-dry. Now your flatmate is walking around with a cozy little secret. Yeah, exactly. He gets to feel amazing, you know. By the way, Tom, we all heard tum heard Tom Lomatic, don't worry. Just in case you're worried. We all heard it. Like guys.

No, no, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yeah, we went to Greece. We went to Gaines. That was really fun. Yeah. I don't know if this is true for you, Crossbow, but when we had a kid, one of the first things I did was going by a tumble drive because there's a hell of a lot of shit flying around and you have to be like washing, so I gotta dry the intel. And to my shame, I am now hooked on the, I know the slippery slope to tumble dryer dependence

because holy shit, I tumble dry two or three times at the moment, I love life. Yeah, I'm telling you, and like, what's my neighbor got a sign and stick clothes on the fucking shock on the washing line? And I just think like, what's my neighbor got a sign and stick clothes on the fucking shock on the washing line? And I just think like, Christ, you look like you're in a different century love. Bungie in the fucking tumble dry is 2021.

But obviously, I know, no, that's not good for the environment and it's gonna be very expensive, but Zootal, you feel like you're living in the, you felt the Jetsons or something? You just, it's... And it probably feels a lot better when you know that it's not allowed. It's got an all-he-elicit tumble. Do you know what I mean when it's forbidden? Yeah. I tell you who likes a forbidden tumble, will.

You're right. He does indeed. It's got his right there waiting for it at the top of the stairs. Oh, yeah. Indeed, it's going to be right there waiting for it with the top of the stairs. Tom, I actually, I completely empathise with the flatmate. I get it. I totally get it that, um, you know, once you start tumbling, drawing your clothes, it's very hard to look back. Um, but especially if you're tumbling,

I'm not too hot or wash and, uh, and then you do basically trapped inside your own clothes. But that final paragraph though, I go back to it. I feel like Matthew is sick and tired of letting things slide. He says, somehow I've ended up being the bin man, that's another beef for another day. It's the same beef Matthew. Yeah.

The situation is you feel like there is a disparity in what you're bringing to the house. What so Matthew thinks of the disparity in the effort he's putting into the group. He's taking care of all the admin. He's booking guests. He's kind of, you know, contacting the Patreon. Whereas the other members of the house, they're just turning up and not really putting a lot of effort in. No, no, no, because this math is very different. This math, you doesn't appear to be a control freak.

So, I've never been upset by the amount of work I do. I would be, I would be livid if you had to do any of it. That's a completely different thing. We, I think we've, we've ironed out these issues over the course of the last 20 years, Tom. But I can't stress this enough. It's not about the tumble dryer. It's never about the tumble dryer. It was never about the tumble dryer. The tumble dryer is, you know, the tumble dryer is not even rosebud. It's not a tumble dryer.

It's a flux capacitor, exactly, yeah. I can't stress enough I have got a tumble dryer. I've really, you should talk about that some more. You've got some great stories about it as well, so. Becoming it thrice per day, thrice per day. Your house must just be vibrating 24-7. It must be like a sauna as well. It's just like steam billowing in every...

Is your wallpaper just peeling off of the walls? Is it? We still walk around in a towel. Well, there's some things that you can't tumble dry because it's sort of... It's not right to tumble dry it. Do you know what I mean? And I have found that out the hard way.

I have ruined quite a lot of clothes in the last six months. It's outside to it. Oh yeah, I mean, when the bill arrives, who we, you realise you've been talking about. That's the dark side. Yeah, I'm saying is, you know, it's an exciting dance. Yeah. The dark, you know, it's the light and shade, isn't it? You think of all these Hollywood greats who've kind of, they've got their demons in the past

and they've lived these kind of wild lives. You need people like that in this world and that's what I'm saying is like, you do need it, there's a unit yang going on in this house and I think you have to let this guy embrace the tumble, drying side. Stop being a like tumble-dryer apologist. It's not about him. He's the asshole of the story. What? Who? The guy who keeps tumble

drying is the asshole of the story. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you'll learn this. Tom will often side with the asshole of the story. You can extrapolate, well that might mean. Anyway, beef solved. I was starting to get beef solved. Bella, do you have a beef you'd like us to solve? Yes, but my housemate is in. Great housemate. I'm just going to put my phone right up to my mouth. Okay, here we go.

Okay, so I have a housemate, she's very, very German. We share a bathroom. Okay, so first of all, first of all, the first weekend that I lived there, I went with my mates to a World War II themed bar, which was fucking brilliant, but I got my head ripped off by her the next day for it being insensitive. Anyway, we moved on from that. Every single day, she rearranges my toothbrush in the bathroom by millimeters, honestly, it's millimeters, but it is noticeable. Okay. As a passive-aggressive act of violence, it's violent. Sure. Can I ask a question just at this early juncture? Yeah. How is she rearranging it? Like what she, what she do, what's your, what's your, it it up it's a straightening up how do you what what set what set up do you use for keeping your toothbrush

I place it on the side flat down next to the sink brushes up brushes up yeah brushes up brushes up just on just on the sink basically like where some where soap might go Yeah and my tooth and my toothpaste is sort of you know normally Yeah, and my toothpaste is sort of, you know, normally, I don't know, an abtuse angle. Sure. But it's done, it's made very parallel. Okay. This has been happening every day for months and I was sort of just thinking, I'm not the type of person to do anything about it, you know, that was my kind of narrative I had

my own head. Did a gig started venting about it to the people I was doing a gig with came home absolutely steaming drunk, got into the bathroom and thought, you know what, it's my time to retaliate. So I got all of her things and I put them in a sort of it took me about 20 minutes Eiffel Tower style Block it was very tall. It was maybe six or seven products high

Right up to the ceiling. Oh, we know the Germans were really they were into the Eiffel Tower during the war Well, it's so much harder to arrange bathroom items into the Bolivodom. That's the problem Yeah, yeah, I thought that was just an easy one that's the problem. Yeah, yeah, I forgot about it. I forgot about it and then I just went to bed. Next day, completely reprimanded within a niche of my life. And it's been extremely frosty ever since. Right. Wow.

I think she thought it was a real act of disrespect, but I thought it was a laugh. Right, but do you see her moving your toothbrush as an act of disrespect? Because it's, it's a gesture. Yeah, I do, and also she uses my toothpaste, which I don't care about because I'm a cool person, but it is annoying. Yeah.

No, I've got bad news for you. I'm gonna defend you in this case. It's a... LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER Yes, it is. LAUGHTER

What do you just make of that? Is it Trasante, isn't it? I mean, is that your mother? Yeah, it's... It's... She's... Look, I mean... is that she ever said that? It's, it's, she's, look, I mean, I think, I do understand where she's coming from. It's just that, isn't it? It's just a little, it's just straining it. Yeah, but it's within the context of, of, uh, deep, uh, unfriendiness.

Yeah, I think there has to be a sort of unspoken rule that you don't touch other people's stuff. I know that it's not just what a place of love. Do you know what I mean? I know that much. Yeah, she's not going, or she'll thank me for this later. Yeah.

She's going, this is how I like things. Yeah. I don't care how Bella likes things. Yeah. I need things to be like this, like this? The tricky thing about this is, you know, and this is, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's so tricky and in flat-share situations is, you've got to kind of, you've got to kind of live with people who are at an equal level of messy slash neat as you because people who care about neatness

Really care about it and people who couldn't give a fuck don't want to make the concessions to to neatness So you always there's always gonna be that tug of love But I would say I think you have to be a particular type of Analy-retentive person to see a toothbrush and, that's not the angle I wanted to be at. I think that's, I think she's, I think, I think, you know what, I think you're right as well. I think she is, it starts with a microaggression, and that's what it is, isn't it?

It's a little microaggression, it's just going, I just wanna remind you, you're not quite good enough. That's what it is. Yeah, exactly, exactly, it's just chipping away. Yeah. My sense of self. Is it definitely that I'm not just like while she's like, I, she's just like, no, just no, it's definitely if you knew, you would, you know, I mean, I must, I must admit, I'm not on board with lying with teeth, toothbrush, lying flat. Anyway, I think it's also going to be my part.

I'm a big fan of it. I'm a big fan of an old one. Get a cup, but you're put in there and it's going to get really gummy after about four months and then you're giving it a big cup. I just hate the gummy nurse, I hate the gummy nurse makes me feel so sick. Get one with a little hole in the bottom and then it's actually, there's a lot more runoff. You still got to watch it out. But then your saliva and weird water and shit goes out of the hole

It has to go We're back on well Come here the mug. I think I like you got me mug Okay, I think it adds person on the sea. I like a mug You're such a sick bastard A mug Think in there at least it's not a flat, you know, it's not a fending anyone and the head, the head's safe. That's the only bit you gotta worry about.

The rest of us. What about this? What about this though? Again, you still get a drippy thing, but what about those things that you get that you stick onto the side of the, like you stick it onto the mirror in your bathroom, you stick it onto the wall in your bathroom,

that kind of holds the head of your brush and protects the head. That's quite a good idea. You see, yeah, yeah, yeah, they're good. You often get for little kids and they're like, they look like a tiger or a frog or something, you know, you can stick that in there. But something like that, that is,

it's just moving your, like, the angle is dictated then by gravity. She can't be angry at that. Take the angle out of the equation. Take the angle out of the equation. The angle of Merkel, if you will. We've got gummy mug. We've got sticker thing to the wall to hold the tube, brushing, parking. What are you thinking? I was thinking mug as well. But now it's been said, and I want to say that. I would also like to see you get drunk and attempt

I would also like to see you get drunk and attempt other landmarks of the world with her views. I think now that you've gone for the Eiffel Tower, I think let's, I want to see your Empire State building. Coming baskets of Babylon, maybe. Exactly. I want you to go into Brantshank. Taj Mahal, yeah. Velocity, Vittlantis, yeah, just stick everything in the sink. Well, Bella, thank you so much for being on the episode.

This has been a real joy. Thanks for having me, guys. I've loved it. It's a total pleasure. Just very quickly, if people want to see you, where are you, where are you gigging, where can people see you on social media? What have you got coming up?

You're doing Edinburgh, you're that kind of keeper? I'm doing Edinburgh, I'm doing a full hour. I'll be. Oh man, good luck. In Pleasant's Bunker 2 at 6.55 pm, if anyone wants to come, I am at Bella Bella Hall on all the social medias. I'm doing a fuck channel previews, so come along to them.

And yeah, let's be friends. Let's be friends. I'm looking for a friend at the moment. I've recently lost a few. Enjoy back to the future of the musical. It's really fantastic. It's amazing. It's amazing. Don't forget, beeffulerspodcast.gmail.com or as Pierre Navelle might put it, send us your beefs, your whining fucks. Ah, there you go. What a treat, eh? That was great. Yeah, Bella Hull, very, very good. Find her on social media, go and see her live if you ever get a chance. She's absolutely brilliant. Yes, but

also find her on our Patreon where we also do a bonus beef with her and it's a very funny one. We only put that out for our patrons to listen to. So if you want a bit of extra content, well, a lot of extra content, let's be honest, we stick an extra podcast out each week and lots of bonus gobbins for £4 a month. You just come along to Patreon.com and search for Pappies and there will be. Absolutely right Tom, there we will be Patreon.com forward slash Pappies flat share, that is where we'll be. I guess that's everything. Oh yeah, find us on Twitter,

find us on Facebook, find us on Instagram, all that kind of stuff. Come and see us at the Mac Comedy Festival. And yeah, I will leave a review as well. We keep forgetting to ask people to do this. Leave a review and recommend this podcast to your friends because we'd love to get more listeners in 2022.

Yeah, have a wonderful time. Today's episode was produced by Emma Corsham. Corsham team. Corsham team. Cheers everyone. Bye. Bye. Bye.