Pappy's Flatshare - Beef Brothers Cold Cuts w/ Camille Ucan S10E11

Episode Date: March 17, 2020

The Beef Brothers are here to sort out your beef with special guest Camille UcanCamille Ucan - https://twitter.com/CamilleUcanPappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetIf you have a flatshare based beef you'd like us to solve then send it to [e-mail] us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareSee Us LiveWednesday 8 April @ The Phoenix - https://www.tickettext.co.uk/pappys-flatshare/pappys-flatshare-slamdown-08042020/Tuesday 12 May @ The Phoenix - https://www.tickettext.co.uk/pappys-flatshare/pappys-flatshare-slamdown-12052020/Produced by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman planting her course to free to pat in love for. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things. It's like theaters December 15th.

Greetings, listener dear! It's Tom! It's Ben! It's Matthew and welcome to an episode of Beef Brothers, Cold Cuts. Could it be? Could it be? Could it be? Could it be? Could it be?

Could it be? Could it be? Could it be? Could it be? Could it be? Could it be? Could it be? Could it be?

Could it be? Could it be? Could it be? Could it be? Could it be? Could it be? Could it be? Could it be? Could it be? Could it be? Could it be? Could it be? That vibe is a bit more via me. Let's smoke in the little cigars. Little cigars. Yeah, let's just say the cigarette loads. Actually, we're all smoking cigarette loads and we've got sunglasses on. If that helps you enjoy the episode,

then it's a great mental image to have. And I caps a backwards. I'll caps a backwards. You're welcome. So, just beef brothers. The beef brothers, exactly. We call some park outside in like a flat truck BMW thing. Oh, one of those with a low riders. The low, she's in a low rider with a net. She's in a flat truck BMW thing. Oh, one of those with a low rider, the low, she's

in a low rider with a truck. She's in a flat truck. She's in a flat truck. She's in a full or all shums. All of course, shums have been run over by monster truck. Corshums crank in the tunes in the in the low rider. We're all sipping on gin and juice when we're in the back. You're lovely time. And in the back with us is our great guest, Camille Lusham. Yes, that's right. Yeah, we've got Camille on the episode this week. I could have chatted to Camille forever. She's so fun. She's really good.

We end up hardly solving any beef. Well, that's all right, because the chat is so fun. Before we get to Camille, it's a very fun episode. I know. Go on. I've got a message for Andy. Oh, great. Yeah, I mean, there we go. Andy, you know Andy from a previous episode when he was working out,

was the Adam Hiss episode, working out whether or not to go to Amsterdam. Yes, of course. Of course, off on the stag he went. And then on the Christmas episode we found out he was going. And he's given us another update. Thank God he's back. Thank you, Andy. He says, hey, Pappies. Hey. Hey, Andy.

Further to your very helpful advice a couple of months ago. I've now been on the dreaded lads holiday. Yes, to Amsterdam. Oh, we'll go. We'll be particularly entertaining. So I'll keep it short. Yeah. Thank you Andy. He says it was all a bit dull really. Oh no. We spent a lot of time wandering around aimlessly and it became evident that old friends is probably the right label for us as a group. We're all at different stages of our lives, so naturally, we've grown apart.

Possibly, to an irreparable point. Oh my god. I love this. That's why I had to read it to you. Otherwise, I wouldn't... Man. Telling silent to disconnect is the fact that the WhatsApp group was fallen silent from the moment we all stepped on our respective planes.

Yeah. I wish I could tell you some tales of Brits aboard lottery, but I can't think of one interesting thing to tell you about the trip. I went on my own to the Johann Kruff Dorena. Is that a grove? Yeah, I went on my own to the Johann Kruff Dorena. Well, they watched the rugby in an Irish pub.

That was the highlight. That was the highlight. Cheers everyone by. Cheers. That's the saddest cheers I've ever bought. We have been here. Oh, I'm the one who've done you off a cropper and Andy We've done you off an absolute cropper, which is I believe a new phrase Guys and we owe you a crop. We owe you a decent weekend in Amsterdam. Listen

We're gonna we're gonna put usher you Tom. We're gonna pop our cigarettes back out We don't turn up turn our backwards Facebook caps around forwards them backwards again Hop in our boot. Hop in our flatbed truck. We're gonna take pop our cigarettes back out. Turn our backwards, Facebook caps around. Forward, then backwards again. Hop in our boot. Hop in our flatbed truck. We're going to take the flatbed truck. We're driving onto the fairytale. We're going to Amsterdam. We're going to Amsterdam with you, Andy.

Metaphorically. Metaphorically. We should stress. Metaphorically. If you would like to hop on the metaphorical ferry to Amsterdam with us, it's not what. It's not continuing this metaphor, but it needs to go. I'll take it.

Then come along and see us live. What? Yeah, you can see us live. We do this live. We do this, we're not, not big brothers, cold cuts, but we are doing a Papis flat share slam down with the phenomenal guest, Joe Wilkinson, on April the 8th at the Phoenix,

pop it in your diary, get your tickets from tickatex.co.uk. Maybe to prepare, start drinking from very early in the day. As Joe did the last time he came on our podcast, yeah. He'd even Christmas shopping or something. He'd been shopping for his wedding. For his wedding. Well, there's plenty of wedding chat in this episode,

so let's hear it. Well, if you've got a problem, I'm calling a problem, because you've got a problem, call it a bee. If you've got a bee, maybe we can help you be from the starting I can be Hello Camille. Hello. Hi. Hi. Yeah, lovely to be here. Thanks for coming on the show Thanks for coming to our podcast basement. Thanks very much for having me. Are you enjoying smell like shit? Yeah, it does. Yeah, sorry. I just said can you swear on this one? Of course you can swear on it.

It's a fucking podcast. Come on. Listen to Deer. What are these podcasts where you can't fucking swear on them? BBC sounds. Ah, yeah, I got BBC Squares on it. It's like a British biased company. It's no Deer.

What spin have you got for us today? I watched Lame Street Media nonsense. And thanks for trying to email your podcast that one time. It was good. I enjoyed it. Yeah, thank you very much for being the sounds for hosting us there. Yeah, good people. Listen to dear, if you want to recreate what we're recording in right now, then find

an open sewer. Yeah. If you say there's very much to send, what's going on? We're recording downstairs in what is, will one day be a podcast studio? Yes, the one day be a podcast. Covering the end. Covering the end of it. Yeah, it does.

It does feel like we're all about to. It feels like there's gonna be some rats joining us. Oh, if there are already. There's already one. Camille, you sure? Hello. You're right, that's called your rats, is that okay? I mean, everyone does already.

I'm a weasel. Weasel. We know you were the weasel. Tips over into rat now and then. So why are you known as the weasel then? Tell Listener Deer. Do you know what? It started with my Martin and Brett Goldstein.

Okay. Lived with the one-head and bruh. Oh great, already a flatmate based of story, it's Just been all tying in. And you know what? I was listening to one of your pods, where you talked about someone who was sitting in the lounge, eating pizza, and then their flatmate comes and starts working out.

I was thinking, Greg Olstein, of course. That's the guy. Oh, really? Yeah, but we sort of start seeing Vikram Yoga in front of you. Yeah. May would also get involved. I'd sometimes be used as a weight or a dumbbell.

What? I'd just pick you up. What school are you in, weasel? Yeah, weasel weight. We bullied heavily. I was feeling a lot like that, yeah, yeah. Tough yeah for me, that one. Pick up the weasel.

But they wanted us to have nicknames. They were like, right, we're living together. Let's create our own nicknames. I was the weasel. And it create our own nicknames. I was the weasel and it's the only one that stuck. I can't even remember what the other two were. There weren't two, there was just you. They just wanted to call you the weasel. We're all doing it, don't worry. I don't worry about him, what are I? Just all you need to know is you're the weasel, and what's going to call it you.

But you've got you use it now yourself. I do, you know, I is you're the weasel. Everyone's gonna call it you. But you've got, you use it now yourself. I do, you know, I've grown into the name. You've reclaimed it. I've reclaimed it, you know, weasels are known for being sort of very cunning, very sly. Yeah. But they're pranksters. They just want to have a bit of fun.

That does fun. There was a documentary recently on BBC, actually, I think, about weasels. Oh yeah. Do you think you would have watched that? Pre-Weasels. Yeah, pre-Weaselgate. Probably not.

Probably not. I loved it. There was this guy who was obsessed with stotes and weasels. And he'd set up like a Weasel amusement park in his garden. And then he filmed them. It was incredible. Clare of creatures. Clare of creatures.

That's a very beautiful, rather beautiful, calm, and beautiful. clever creatures, clever creatures. It's so, I'm beautiful. I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful. I love, very muscular. Absolutely. Always doing yoga in the front room, we're trying to beat her. What being lifted? What's developing his Weasel amusement park? So we had like, you know, tubes and that, they could be.

I love that. I tell you, it doesn't take much to a Weasel. It's not quite in the, you know, you don't have to have the nemesis or the stealth or anything like that. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. 40 minute cue, sorry weasels. Yeah, it's mad, isn't it?

You put a weasel on Mr. Burk's bubble works, just nothing. Wouldn't give a fuck about it. It's just a weasel. Stick it down a tube. Woo! Woo, my man. Absolutely not. It is kind of mad, isn't it?

When you take a step back on those kind of theme park days out where you're like, go, let's go and queue for 50 minutes to go on the Nemesis. Oh man. But we did it. Yeah. Once at school when we went, what was it, Chessington or Thought Park?

They were our two main ones. One of the two. One of the two. And I developed. When I was younger, I was more reckless. Everyone is, aren't they? Of course. Everyone is. You think you're gonna live forever? Now, I was more reckless. Everyone is, aren't they? Of course. Everyone is. You think you're gonna live forever?

Now, I would hate to go to a theme park, but it started creeping in for me in my early teens, the fear. And I remember one year, I went back and I was like, you know when it suddenly switches, this isn't for me. And I sat on a ride, and they were just about to get it going. And I would stop! You're all alone! I had to get it going. I would stop! You're all alone! I had to stop the ride.

Everyone had to wait for me to get off walked out. Oh, my God. What was the ride? Please tell me it was Mr. Burst. I think it was Ramsey's revenge. Ramsey's revenge. Ramsey's revenge. Ramsey's revenge.

It went on a bit on it before. I remember it was Ramsey's revenge that day. It didn't make went up and I've been on it before. I've been on it before. I've been on it before. I've been on it. I've been on it. It was the one where you go up really high and it lowers you face down and water comes up. There was always that urban myth that someone was sick and the sick kept coming up.

The water that's been sprayed out of a theme park is not clean water. Of course If you go on like... It's not EVM It's not bottle that source, no I mean, I actually, Harry and I, we went to the St. Kilda roller coaster, on a very, very windy day. We were doing the Melbourne Comedy Festival

and they've got a really old fashioned wooden rollercoaster that takes you like all the way around the park. It's really amazing. It's very, very, very high up as well. Yeah. And proper old fashioned, big tip. Proper old fashioned rollercoaster. Oh, God.

Then it looked rickety, I just really rickety. Oh, really? It's like a hundred years old, it's only told. No. And so we were about to go on it. And the guy was like, no, I can't let you go on. It's too windy. It's just not, you're not going to be heavy enough.

And then like another kid who I would say was four, came up behind us and joined the queue and he's like, yeah, or I can't let the three of you on, I'm like, no, no, no, we want someone, you know, at least someone who's gonna be, at least my weight, so Paris weight, just to sort of balance it out. And Paris weight, I do.

Yeah, Paris. He didn't want to say that, but in fact, we want about four parries. If we get about four parries. That's what really happened. He said, I can't let you on your own, you're not having enough. Crossby points at me and said, are you sure me? Any letters on?

But we absolutely shit ourselves on that ride. We were really, really screwed. You can't lose your job. Genuine jeopardy isn't fun, isn't it? I went to Santa Park the other day. We went on a ride. And they said you're too fat to come in, mate. But day, we went on a ride. They said you're too fat to come in, mate. Pobasic! We went on a ride where it was like a ring where it has four people can sit on it.

But literally before you get on, you have to stand on a scale. No, I know. There's this big scale. So that everyone on the ring is... And so that you're not too heavy. Bow down, right? you're not too heavy. I think that's too heavy as a four, and there's a light. And it gets so like the people in front of us,

the people in front of us got on, and the light went green, and they're like, on you go. Oh gosh. And then the four of us stood there just waiting, and like, kind of sizing up the four that went before us, and we were like, yeah between us. Who's the four? So it was me, my girlfriend, my girlfriend sister.

And you're on Haystacks. Oh my god. And my girlfriend's dad. Right. And me. Okay. And would you say you're the largest of the four? Definitely.

I was going to say. And it was definitely. Yeah. Because I was going to say, you weren't going to say and it was definitely yeah So the pressure is on the pressure was on the plate Big red light comes on Massive could be cute for like an hour and then like sorry you can't go on it. Don't like you can have to go on in two twos Look you have to go on as a three in a one. What kind of...

You go clutches, me and the big number of passing rings. I tell you what, if you don't mind being the ring, then you're an adobe on me. No, the... Like, I went to a water park in Fu Kwok in Vietnam, and it was like really unregulated. It was really... It was such a hot day that we... No, no, no. All right.

Yeah, right. I felt sick. Yeah, so we got on one of those ring rides, right? Which is me and Charlie. And, um, You put your wife through that danger. She, she's the ringleader in this instance, though pun intended.

She, she, she, she, I want to see, she'll go on the scariest rides I won't for her. Oh, she married you. I'm a pretty scary ride I'm a ride right So you're talking about fluck it I think we are now Okay I'm going to go ahead and go I believe we are here

We're here Now we get to the business And so that's what he says Anyway How do you get to the business? Oh no Anyway so I've cued for 50 minutes. Sorry, my God.

There's the only one thing. Carcass girlfriend's dad has got to leave the room. So the goal is to leave the room. And I'm going to shout stuff. I'm going to get off. But we got on this ride and you know when you get on, you think, I don't think this is well put together enough to be doing what it's supposed to do. The water seemed like quite a weak flow, as well as be taking you down. So anyway, we're going down this first bit and the idea is it drops you into a big basin. You spin around in the basin and then drop down the middle of the basin right in the classic singer. The old... The old kind of... LAUGHTER

So, we're spinning around. We're going down this thing, and we're about to go into the thing which spins you around. And we just hit dry plastic. And there's not enough water. And we're just stuck. But we can see there's rushing water all around us, but we're just on a bit of dry plastic. So we're like, one of us has got to get out and move the thing into the, I will like, into the flow of the water and, and, and, and, and we need of us want to get out because, A, if one of us gets out and the thing goes into

the water, then one of us is shooting off on the, on their own. And that means you're there in the bar. Yeah. Just stood in the dry, that's the right thing. You're sitting in the sink and it's basically like, oh, now do I want to just drop, drive myself 20 feet down into some water, not on a rubber ring. You didn't do that did you? No, you made Charlie, so. We did, we both, exactly right, parry.

We both scooted along. So we both grabbed the little handles on either side. Just scooted a little bit. We scooted a little bit. We scooted a little bit. Until eventually, I think I had one foot out as well just pushing it off the dry plastic. It was such a sad image. It was sad. It was not. Yeah, honestly the post is lied. All those smiling kids laughing and stuff. No terrified, too incredibly pale terrified people getting sunburned

on a bit of dry plastic with a 20-foot drop underneath. So that's not what we're here to talk about today. We're here to talk about flat-based beefs. But it will be a rollercoaster ride. Oh, very good, man. Don't say that's the last thing else. She will leave. Yes.

The beef from the starting at your beef. We've got one from Raj here. Harry, do you want to read it for us please? Of course. Raj has spelt it just ROG. How would you say it with a dead? DGE. Oh yeah. So how do we know it was not Rog? It could be Rog.

It could be Rog. Yeah. And if he's Rog, I don't want to be Rog. Well, what it feels like is Rog has given us the front of his front name. Because we do front names only. We say front names only. We say front names only. We say front names only.

We say front names only. We say front names only. We say front names only. We say front names only. We say front names only. We say front names only. We say front names only. Well, if what it feels like is Rog has given us the front of his front name, because we do front names only. We say front names only, he's got front names, front of his front. Yes, the front front, yeah, double fronting. He's double fronted it. Rog is double fronting and we love it.

Rog says, roach, we're going to go for it. I think roach, yeah. I'm getting married. Hey, congratulations. Thank you for having me. We're gonna go for it. I think Rod yeah, I'm getting married. Hey congratulations My fiancee Scottish I love scotch I love the accent Louis Capaldi That's one is it exactly I thought people are gonna chip in their favorite scotch people but it's all ended on the Capality so hey to just one love island.

The way it's out with Lewis Capality. Yes. I really, yeah, when it was Lewis Capality. Got it. Yes. Do you know him roach anyway? Roach is Capality coming to the wedding. Right, it's Peter Capality coming to the wedding.

Is your name Roach Capality? Is your name Roach, is what I really, I'm going to tell you how this is what we're asking. Okay, I'm getting married in my fiancee's Scottish. She wants to get married in Scotland, and I want to get married in the north of England. Brackets, I'm from Leeds. This is big beef. This is huge beef.

I feel strongly about this. Okay. Oh, that's a great one. I'm loving it. You're not feeling it. She's not feeling it. No, no, no. If you've got a strong opinion, come at this, it is pure though.

It's very pure. I want to come out of the North of England bracket time from Leeds. Anyone famous from Leeds that we want to mention? Louis Capaldi. I want to come out in the North of England. I'm from Leeds. As most of our friends live outside of Scotland,

so North England is less of a trek for them. Please solve my beef. Should I get married in Scotland or are we getting married in England? I'm sure she'll agree with your decision, cheers, rogge. You hit the word we, is that like a small? What do they mean? No, it's just three because the squad said

should I get married in Scotland or are we getting married in England? Already, I can't afford it. I'm so sorry, I'm sure she'll agree I know it's just really because the Scotch said should I get married in Scotland or a we getting married in England already? I got a file. I know. I'm sure she'll agree with your decision. It's saying come on lad say leads. Yeah. Well, he's messed up it because no, he sent this in. Whatever we decide today is legally binding. That's right. So the rate of his marriage is in our hands. The thing is big. I know the answer to this. Okay. Oh, it's a weird

weird. I know the answer. Right. Raj, listen. She's putting the weird weird amusement park. Listen, not bragging. I'm all so boys. She's very brave. And we got married in London. Capital City, very easy to get to. People still want to message you about how to get there, where to stay. Wherever you get married, people gonna be Weasel-in, okay? Everyone weasels, this is the one time you can go wherever the fuck you want and people have to come. And also, isn't there that rule like in

England, most places in England, you have to stop partying at a certain time? Scotland, I'm sure you can go all Scotland. I think a castle as well, you know, I think I've like, you know, I know there's, there's, there's leads cast isn't even in leads. But they were, it's good boy. I'm not there. I'm just laying right on it. So many sacred cows. I'm not bloody wrong. They stabbed me.

That's right. I'm bringing back the impression of the masses. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, own. I'm so many sacred cows. I'm not bloody wrong. They snap me. That's right. I'm bringing back the impression of the mask.

I know I'm about time great. It's great. It's great. If I could say it's great. Alrighty. There you go. It's great. It's great.

Alrighty. There you go. It's great. It's great. It's great. I'm looking. It's great. I'm looking.

I'm looking. I'm looking. I'm looking. I'm't wait to try some things I can't wait to do. I can't wait for anyway. But I think Scotland, very, very beautiful. There's a lot, you know, I think you can get yourself a really lovely, kind of, a really lovely mansion, pretty a lot cheaper than you could for a state of your home up north.

I think I should do it. I do it. Well, it is the thing. I don't know. A different one. I can't wait. I don't know. I love you.

Well, when I first saw Scotland, I was like, oh oh yeah, Scotland's great, great place for a wedding. But then you thought, when you first went to Scotland, that was what you thought. Yeah, when I was first. Oh, yes. I could get married here. For someone who doesn't have a marriage. That's a very weird instinct that you have. Someone famously not wanted to get married.

Every way you go, you think, of course, it's a good place to get married. We're at the first episode of you stepped into this shit and cross it, basically, wasn't it? I say, you're like a very nice old. I can see it. Very, very friends wedding. You're a little frustrated wedding planner, it's quite a good one. But I'm sure Leeds has got, you know, beautiful, quite similar kind of countryside.

I mean, there's certainly, there's countryside. I mean, we don't know, we don't know the venues. There's nice bits and shit bits of everywhere. Yeah, exactly, exactly. There's nice bits and shit bits of Scotland. Yes, there is. That's true. That's what they're really mind. But there's and shit bits of Scotland. Yes, there is. That's true, that's what they're really mind. But because the ship bits of Scotland are pretty shit.

Yeah. And I don't mind saying it. But some of the ship bits are leads. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, it's a lead. Shall we assume that they're not going to get married in the ship bits? Should we give them that benefit of the day?

He's legally binding. Get married, please. The shit is middle east. And that's what's happening. We've pretty much, I think we need to drill a little bit further into this, right? Yeah, yeah. I think there's something going on here with Rog.

He says, I wanna get married in the north of England. And then this, and then he says, as I'm from Leeds, right? So it's like, I'm from Leeds, I wanna get married in Leeds. Yeah. Then he's got this bit at the end that's like, oh, because most of our friends live out on a Scotland, so North England is less of a trek for them. No, come on, if you're going to Leeds,

you might as well be going to Scotland. I agree. There is no difference there, so he's growing. I mean, there's a couple of hours difference, but. But, I mean, if you're already on the train, if you're on the train, I'm going to put your tinnies. Once you're there.

It's actually on the train. Oh, sorry, we don't worry about that. We'll lock this down. Sorry that I reacted like that. Listen, we should say, the room we're recording is just gone dark, but we should also say, we haven't worry about that. We'll lock this down. Sorry that I reacted like that. Listen, we should say, the room we're recording is just on dark, but we should also say, we haven't told you this, but this room is the burial chamber of one pharaoh called Ramsay.

Ramsay? It's not Chris Ramsay, is it? It's Ramsay's revenge. I am undancing the bonka. It's not bad, Chris Brown. That's either Sag to marry Oranoid. Or a little orpry. So, er...

Another great episode where you make some Chris Brown's his... Oh, I'm obsessed. We're obsessed with Chris Brown's his podcast. Good, you're a little more power to the podcast. Good pod, good pod. Strong pod, lovely bloke. One of the big pods. Never met his wife, but she seems absolutely fantastic.

Yeah, Rosie. I don't know why I can't have that one. Rosie! Rosie! I'm Rosie! Rosie, that happens, did you know that? I think I was being Scottish, like... It's not getting married.

And the centre of Newcastle is that's what I'm from. So, let's say that most of our friends live outside of Scotland so North England is less of a trek for them. That is... Forget that. We say that's bullshit. I just think, and for a wedding, people... Some people go to Tenerife. But here's the...

So, some people... It's the half London's Tenerife. Which, by the way, is too much, isn't it? When someone's going to come aboard, it's like, I don't know, we went to Italy this summer for Josh's wedding, and that was pretty lovely. And it's a good way of calling people that you don't want to come. Yes, it's a great cult. I've got Australia this year.

Australia! Australia wedding. That's big. It controls your holiday. Suddenly, Rod, Scotland don't sound so bad, doesn't it? Exactly. This car has to go the other side of the world, Rod. We only ask if people would go to, you know, it's a choice in different country,

but it's, I mean, we're calling bullshit on asking people to go to Leeds, asking people to go to Scotland, there is no difference. People aren't going, well, I can't afford to go to Leeds, I can't afford to go to Scotland, right? That's true. So what we have to assume is, we're taking out the adhesion, the adhesion, the adhesion. This is more, do we get married in my wife's home town or my home town Well also where my wife wants to get married or where I want to get married or do you split the difference and go to Birmingham?

Geography Geography Surely you go for Barry let's make it a bit of everyone Sadly we're going to burn, make them everyone. Nobody wants it, not even us. I don't know you are, pees of told us. The shit bits of Eminent. Oh, fuck it. They're the shit bits of the shit bits.

Yeah, so you could. Spit the difference, go somewhere in between. We're looking at Newcastle. We're looking at Berrick on tweed. Like districts. Is that Berrick on tweed? Geographically, it's not, but no, Berrick on tweed's on the border between England and Scotland. Yes. It's very beautiful.

It's very, very beautiful. It's when you're getting that training right. It's when it gets really beautiful. I know a lot of people are training what as well. We just don't know where in Scotland. Scotland? Scotland? Fucking massive. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm haven't even bothered to say where in Scotland is the first rock. Does he even know? Does he know? Does he know where his wife's toilet is ever a... Has he asked her name? Has he asked his wife's name? Has he asked his wife's name? Has he asked his wife's name?

Has he asked his wife's name? Has he asked his wife's name? Has he asked his wife's name? Has he asked his wife's name? Has he asked his wife's name? Has he asked his wife's name? Has he asked his wife's name? Has he asked his wife's name?

Has he asked his wife's name? Has he asked his wife's name? Has he asked his wife's name? Has he asked his wife's name? Has he asked his wife's name? Has he asked her name? Has he asked her name? Has he asked her name? Absolutely, yeah. Do you want to do any others? Clap. My name is Clarice. Exactly. Or Claire. And she's trying to play it all. He's not listening.

He's not listening. It is bold that he's not included in a name because he's suggested that she'll be listening. So, thank you. So, thank you. I think we all feel like we're leaning the same way here. Scotland. I've Scotland.

We're all leaning towards Scotland. Oh, sorry, Birmingham for me. I'm going to smoke a vineyard for you. You can get the train, aren't you, Mum? By the way, Rob, we're all coming. We're all coming. We're all going to be in Scotland on the day of your wedding, whether you'll get married there or not. Do you want us to live podcast the reception? No, one wants that, but Rob, the offer is on the table. Instead of a wedding band, What's that? But, well, the offer is on the table. Instead of a wedding band, a wedding pod, we turn that.

You're all going to be sick if someone takes you up on that. The reality of having to do that, I'm not. What's the rabbit's revenge? Have you ever been asked as a performer? It happens every so often to people. You get asked to do something at someone's wedding or a friend's wedding. Have you ever had to perform at a friend's wedding? Apart from having to do a bride-like, a bride's-made

speech. Oh, yes, of course. You do. At Rose Johnson's wedding, Friend of the Pod. Friend of the Pod. Not like a, no, not like a sort of, you know, song or a dance or anything. Yeah, in fact, your wedding was in a theatre space, wasn't it? It was and we... We did ask people to put it before. Yeah, that's very true. I just remembered that now. You were the MC.

I was the MC. Oh, I love it. Yeah, that's good. I mean, you're... It was made for it. You get asked this quite a lot because you sang a song at Stu Gold's Miss Wedding. Yes.

Which was fantastic. Thank you. It was a really shirt off. He sang... Top top, of course. Top top, of course. Top top, of course. Top top, of course. Top top, of course. Top top, of course. Top top, of course. Top top top. Top top top. Top top top. Top top top. Top top top. Top top top. Top top. Top top top. Top top. Top top. Top top. Top top top. Top top top. Top top top. Top top top. Top top top. Top top top. Top top. Top top. Top top. Top top top. Top top. Top top top. Top top. Top top. Top top. Top top top. Top top. Top top. Top top. Top top. Top top. Top top. Top. Top top. Top top. Top top top. Top. Top top. Top top. Top top. Top top. Top top. Top. Top. Top. Top top. Top top Stu Gold's Miss Wedding. Yes. Which was fantastic. Yes. It was really true. It was really true. You sure, Tuffy sang the top song. Top song, of course. It was too slow and joined. Top song, bit too soon. Yes.

Top song, first verse. It's balls. First verse, top song. Top song, first verse. It's during the ceremony as well. It's genuinely. Oh. What was this?

It was big. No, I've remembered. I did sing at Rose's Wedding, as well as do the speech. Yes. We were in a choir. Oh, lovely. I've remembered. I did sing at Rose's wedding. Did you sing? As well as do the speech. Yes, what did you sing? We were in a choir. Oh, lovely. I was terrified.

That was the hardest thing of the whole day. Yes. Because I knew she'd kill me if I fucked up. Absolutely. You did like an accapella choir. Yes, yeah, tricky. And then during your speech, you burst into song as well. What did you sing? I did, shallow.

I sang a song in the shallow, I sang it, Lady Gaga, yeah, to down, to the groom. Beautiful. Just one little verse. Just one little verse. It was a bold choice. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I'm topsoff it, God, since it was a bold choice. What were you going to say to someone, Tom San? I can't, what, what was it? It was, it's got that bird. You're just too good to me. I'm lovely. Can't take my shirt off, yeah. I already have.

Oh, it's chilly. OK, so we're waiting to find out where the wheel perform at this wedding. We haven't got the call yet. We're yet to get the vote. OK, time to vote. I think. She'll agree with our decision. Rod, this isn't no brainer, mate. I know. It's got to be Scott. You're not hard, you're just. Okay, time to vote. I think she'll agree with our decision. Roger, this is a no brainer. No, I know. It's got to be Scott.

You're not hard. You're not hard, you're Kate. I mean, hey, Danu. It's not. What is that? What is that? What is that? I got this.

I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this.

I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. night at the brits, I know I'm gonna sing it, logs within. You're just too good to be three. Can you take me, I got some book fasting baby. I got some book fasting baby. Well, so the decisions in, Scotland or England Scotland Scotland Scotland Scotland Clarke Scotland right Raj and welcome to marriage mate It's built on the idea of compromise. Yeah, and making sure that your partner is as happy as they can possibly be right Be built on that. Yeah, is it that? Why am I against it?

I don't know. Sorry, I was trying to solve the before we eat it. Yes. It's satisfying solving a beef in it. Oh, so good. Satisfying. I'm getting all the rest of your day now. You've done that before.

Yeah, yeah. I'll take you off. But stick around, because we're going to do another one. Rod, have a great wedding day. Send us some photos. Do you have you in beautiful Scotland? Yeah, from the starting at the beginning! You solved!

Greetings, listen to the deer. Sorry to interrupt your flat slam listening pleasure, but I'm here to just tell you about my solo show. Tom Perry, Pariochi, will be at the solo theatre from the 25th to the 28th of March. And yeah, come along and enjoy yourself. Okay, we'll be at the Sarahoo Theatre from the 25th to the 28th of March and Yeah, come along and enjoy yourself basically if you're a fan of one third of the podcast where it's just me talking It'll be a bit like that, but don't let that put you off come along and have a good time. Cheers everyone. Bye Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes! Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining.

A woman planting her course to freedom at a lot for her. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things. It's a life theater, it's December 15th. So this is from, and I can say the name. Yes, you say that right. Francis.

Francis. Hello, Francis. Hello, Francis. Hello, Francis. Really gorgeous handwriting, Francis. Beautiful handwriting. Kind of handwriting, I wish I had. It's in Ford Coppola.

Oh, I'm so imaginable. I've got very good handwriting. Yeah, fingers crossed. It's a nice in France, it's Ford Coppola's got a gorgeous pen. Let's find out what the beef is. I've promised my daughter I will cast her in a film. LAUGHTER I'm up against it. My housemate has...

Oh. Yes, I can't work out. There's an unreasonably or reasonably. I think it's un. That's quite important. I think it's un. It's un. I'm going to go with un. My housemate has unreasonably large feet.

Yes, because I think reasonably large feet. Doesn't feel like much of a thing to talk about. It's not reasonably large feet. Oh, there are size 10, that's reasonably large, I suppose. It's not really home, it's really a bit more spectacular. Yeah. I'm going to let down. But, little twist on it. I also have unreasonably large feet.

Oh, absolutely. This in itself is a problem. Yeah, could be. Could be two pounds. Could be clocking. Could be clocking. Let's stick a bit in that. In itself is a problem.

But when he leaves his 13 pairs of trainers in the hallway, and I leave my one pair of boots, I get bonnets by the other house mate, who doesn't have unreasonably large feet. Oh, OK, so the third one, normal size feet. Right. For leaving my foot. That's it, we've with three clowns. LAUGHTER

I'm only three stooages on my way. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER Merleys not one of them is it? Larry Merleys and co? Merleys and co was his company formed. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER

Um... Where was that? Pollock to the toilet. Who doesn't have a reasonable entry? Oh, I was so, so, so, so, so, so, so we've got one hat, we've got two housemates with one reason we know our tree. Right, yeah. One housemate with reasonably fine feet. It's certainly nice. Okay. The, the, the, the Francis's housemate with the big feet. Leaves all their 13 pairs of trainers in the hallway. Francis is only leaving one pair of boots.

And the third housemate with the fair feet. Oh, fair feet. Old fair feet. Old fair feet. Fair feet is getting pissed off with Francis for leaving the one pair of boots. Because Fairefeet's gonna be coming home and going, look at all these big shoes everywhere. It's like, it's got big shoes.

Francis, get these fucking shoes, and Francis is like, there's only one pair of boots that are mine. Right. Right. It's a bit like a modern day Goldilocks, isn't it? Go on. Yeah, go on, man. Three cows earlier, I know.

Three bears. We've got three bears. No, we've got three bears. No, that's not it. Three cows earlier. I know that. Three bears. I've got three bears. No, that's not. Three bears of shoes. Isn't it, it'd be like Goldilocks, if Goldilocks had a friend who'd done all the bad shit?

Yeah. I'm not sure it is like Goldilocks. It could actually be nothing like Goldilocks. Yeah, go on though. This is a section we always have Camille where Clarke, you decide if it's anything like or nothing like Goldilocks. Yeah, go on though. This is a section we always have Camille where Clarky decides if it's anything like, or nothing like Goldilocks. Okay.

Okay. It came a little earlier than we normally have it. We thought it was the right time. Clarky, you're not going to believe it. It actually is about porridge. Oh, you've got a lot of money. It's about porridge. It's about, but it's okay.

Well, fine now. It's like Goldilocks, isn't it? No, it's not. That's good. Okay. I think we've established it. Right. That was a good one. Okay. That was a of scary. I think we've established that. That was a good one.

That was a good one. That was a good one. That was a really strong one. I tell you, I'm strong. When you try and prove it, it's like, Go ahead. This is nothing. Go ahead.

Then we're fine. We're doing the bud. So we've got... I think this to me feels like an open closed shut beef case. I hope so, because Francis, right, here's the thing. If you do something wrong, it doesn't matter. Any other shit that people are doing, there's also wrong, even if it's much, much worse than you,

you've done something wrong. And if you've left your boots in the hallway, if you've left your boots in the hallway, you've left your boots in the hallway. Okay, they're added to a pile of 13 other shoes, but forget those for the moment. Look at your own, sort your own boots out first before you start dealing with some of those. It's a completely agree, go on, Clarky. Well, I was going to say that is, it's, has someone been sleeping in their bed? It's a lady.

It's a lady. I'm going to, I'm going to, please. His front is blonde. Please, Aaron. I think if there's a role, they'd be like, you can have one pair of shoes by the door. Then it's okay. Mm-hmm. Right.

Because we have a similar role in our house. Your shoes that are on the go, they're by the door. Yeah, you can leave one pair of shoes It's okay. Right. Because we have a similar role in our house. Your shoes that are on the go, they're by the door. Yeah, you can leave one pair of shoes at a bout. Yeah, all the others have to go away. Where do they go? They go under a stall in the sitting room.

Just by the door. Two stalls, got stall-ish. Who do? No. I'm picking off to fit. Can I ask you to do a bit too big, a bit too small, or just right. I'm so nervous. Because I think we might be on something here. Okay, okay.

I think I'm with Francis Stoke as the housemates ruining it for everyone. I appreciate that's true and it is. You know, like Clarke says, everyone's got one pair of shoes out, fine. As soon as someone's bringing 13 pairs out, room in it for everyone, including Francis. I guess what you need to do is you need to say, there can only ever be three pairs of shoes. If you make that the blanket rule,

there can only ever be three pairs of shoes outside the front door. It doesn't matter if they're boot trainers, whatever, they can maybe be three. Oh, I mean, I've recently been on Gumtree, and there are some extraordinary shoe racks out there. And it has. I've done one, certainly. I just took a sip of coffee, man. No one knew where the center's going.

And I can tell you something for nothing. I mean, we're talking about a rollercoaster. No. Panic attacks him in all that. Get on, go, you go out there. I'm saying there is a whole new world of shoe racks. Yeah, so you're saying Francis should just go and buy by one of these as a present for the flat.

It is a game changer. Mm-hmm. I'm not shoe racks. I'm actually talking to a man, I'm actually directly this towards Clark it, a man who keeps all of his shoes under two stools. That sounds like mental. No, right? The shoes go in the wardrobe. Ah, ha.

What is it Clark it before it was a stools? Only one pair allowed out. Under the stools. Under the stools. Oh, the pairs were the red all the one pair allowed out. Under the storm. Under the storm. Oh, the pairs of the Reddleton, come away. The storm's in the hallway. No.

So you've got a pair in the hallway, a pair under the storm. This one, we keep the hallway, we keep the hallway clear. It's a hidden historic. It's a hidden historic. We keep the hallway clear, so there's no tripping hazard.

Okay. If you're coming in late, or if you're coming in carrying things, you don't want stuff on the floor in the hallways. Or if you're late and you're carrying stuff. The combat. Emma's got a point you like to make. You want to pass the mic to her to... Yeah, Emma. It's not the problem, is that the boots are the height of the boots versus the height of the trainers.

Is it a trip hazard? Make a fantastic point. Because the boots... The boots is the word. The boots is point the boots the boots is the word Can I ask is this like pushing boots It's got to be like the elves in the shimekashore lake. I do like the maths of it that like 13 pairs of trainers equals one pair of boots. Yeah. So I mean like it's like because you've got a pair of boots. I don't know if that's maths.

There's another solution for answers. These boots are made for walking. That's a lot. Walk them through that flat. Don't you take your boots off no more. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Boots off. Don't take your boots off, mate. In the house. I said, I'm in the house. I said, I'm in the house. I said, I'm in the house. Take your boots off, mate. In the house. I said, in the house. I said, in the house. I said, in the house. This piece don't have very musical. It's a great musical.

It's got great soundtracks. But it's a boots, it's the word. Then boots on in the house. Everyone sits down and just see it. The boots are made for walking. And that's just what they'll do. And one of these days, these boots are going to walk through the house.

Francis. Okay, so we've got, we've got, clear up your own boots. That's me. We've got, keep your boots on. Keep them on mate. Keep them on mate. I think boots on is, that's Craig Ray. Yeah, that's Craig Ray talking.

Okay. Because boots, boots have got way too much, they've got big tread. They've got big tread. This musicals got grooves. It's absolutely rare grooves. I tell you what, grooves are hard to read. But, so, so yeah, you're absolutely right,

because I wear my boots, and if I wore them in the house It's always clear because little little rivulets of mud. Yeah, like so follow you around I think boots boots on in the house is I'm not saying it's the best answer. I'm saying it's an option It's an option. It's an option. What about you? It's more of these. Just outside of the door you get one of those little boots grapers that's like shaped like a hedgehog You know those ones with like a Victorian style boots? It could be the bit of metal, the Victorian style one or the one that's trip hazard central that's trip hazard, yeah absolutely.

I think it all depends about the dimensions of your hallway I suppose. She rack telling. I think she racked a bit of equipment. As a side note, I know a boot cleaner and you can make a kill-in during that job. Really? How much they on? Shit loads. Hell, fuck on, it's sad I got it. Listen, listen, listen.

You made this up. No. Did you know a gun at me? I'm gonna hold this! You're fuffing people's boots without their knowledge. It's how I'm going, because you're putting money out of them. You're advice to friends, you get your boots buffed and then get more people running the house.

Yeah, why not? It's kind of folded, that's why not. It's too expensive, man. That's what the hell. Say it, no one expected that. Well, the options are there. The options are there. I think actually, or one pair in the hallway.

A shoe rack is, but then a shoe rack somewhere else in the house, if the hallways not very good. What power is it? Talk me through, talk me through the shoe rack. What kind of capacity we're talking? There's all, honestly, telling you man, get on gumtree. The shoe racks for every occasion. Have you bought one of gumtree?

Yeah. That's a great time. I nearly bought another one. How much did it cost? I've got to buy one every occasion. Have you bought one of gumtree? Yeah. That's a great time. How much? I nearly bought another one. How much did it cost? I've got one from IKEA, but the really, I've got two shoe racks, no, man. Right. But the really good one came on gumtree.

But honestly, I could have bought several more. Can you tell me more? I've really got into it. Stop it and other stuff in it. I'll just put it on a right word. I'm sorry. Sure one we could do other things with these shoe racks. Can you tell me how much is it cost?

How many shoes they hold? I mean, the country one. The country shoe rack came in a 15 quid. I collected it and it holds comfortably eight pairs of shoes. Eight comfortable pairs of shoes, eight comfortable shoes. And one pair of boots.

And you're a big footed man. Thank you. Um, bless you. So, you know, there's another shoe rack in the bedroom. But we still got the same problem though, though. If's another shoe rack in the bedroom. But we still got the same problem though. If he's living 13 by the door, that's still too much for a shoe rack. The 13 shoes can't, you're absolutely right, it is madness to have 13 pairs of shoes in the wall.

So we need to address... Slim down your trainers. You don't need 13 pairs of shoes. Chuk-A is worse trainers. Yeah, chaza. Chaza shop. Absolutely chaza shop. You know, Joel Domet has got a lot worst trainers. Yeah, chaza. Chaza shop. Absolutely chaza shop them. You know, Joel Domey has got a lot of trainers.

He does. But then he has size six shoes. So fine. If you've got big feet, I think, I think, I mean, I don't want to sound too much like a fascist here. But if you've got big feet, you're only allowed to be a shoe. Sorry.

Sorry. Well, I'm so, I'm so sorry. I don't want to help all these opinions, but I do. And class, what size shoes, shoe size you've got? I am an eight. I'm an eight. Okay, so what your lad is many shoes, is you like? I've got two pairs of shoes.

I've got a pair. I've got three pairs. I've got three pairs of shoes. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. I've got a pair of boots. I've got a pair of vans. I've got my smart shoes. And I've got my running trainers.

You've got your running trainers. Are you running trainers? My running trainers, this is all falling apart. You're not going to slip us. You've got me there. Oh, yeah, you're such a man, you're so nervous. Oh my goodness, yes, yes, yes. Oh, I see, yeah, it's my, and I haven't mentioned my bro's in a bro's as well. I've got a belt, I've got a spat, I've got some old-fashioned gun boots.

Scraver boots, scraver boots, and some gun boots. I've got some old-fashioned gumboots, the scowbar very good, the one with the most of the key of an heels, oh my god, I must have 75 pairs of, an impressive converse alone, but you know, I've got a lot, a meld of the marker all over again. I am absolutely melded in marker. A meld of marker. There you go again.

I'm just saying, you're trying to find a ball. What was that? I mean, she did a lot of shopping, right? Okay. What was the distance to throwing a melded of marker? What was that? A melded of did a lot of shopping. Right, okay. What was the distance to throwing a melted marker? What was the marker? What did the D stand for? Oh, that's a lot of shoes. I was talking by more shoes.

Right, okay. Now we vote. Now we vote. What, we vote in on? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Do you want to talk about this anymore? Yeah.

I'm going to say no. Okay, we're going to. Just very, very Yeah. I'm gonna say no. Okay, we're gonna, just very, very quickly. All in favor. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I me up, Chief Weasel. That's me. This is the part of the podcast where we ask if you have a beef with your current housemate, or recent housemates? My current housemate is my husband. A little bit of a situation. We've heard you were married.

Yes, yes. The weather's out on the town. We... Weasels get married. Weasels get married. On the invitation, we did put out weasel wedding on the early save the dates. Yes, current housemate is James and he's a pretty good housemate. We, you know, all the usual stuff that I won't bore you with.

All that stuff, right? I painted it all red. All that stuff. I paint the door red. All that stuff. That's the one's worse than the other. What was your other one? Red front door or shit on the floor? It's the old ride. Why do we never get that format bought by ITV2?

We tried to set the red front door or shit on the floor. You three turning up a house. It's one of these shirts on the floor. One of these papers on the floor. Pick and blow. LAUGHTER Um, but we've actually only been housemates, just the two of us, for about a year before that.

Oh, wow. We, I mean, I've always been into communal living. If James said to me now, let's go live in a commune, I probably would. Really? It's an open marriage, boy. I love that. That's not what a commune is. No, it definitely does go to the sex cult.

Did a friend. Whenever I watch those documentaries about cults, obviously by the end, I'm like, that looks horrid. At the start, I'm like, this sounds great to me. It's time me up. It's until they all start arming themselves, or the oldest, ugliest guy goes, well, I'm gonna fuck everybody.

You're gonna fuck no funny. And you go, oh. But yeah, the start of the idea of the communal living and everyone chipping in seems so fun. Yeah, really, and I did use to be a property guardian for quite a few years. That's right, yeah, yeah, it's a security guard. Basically, security guard of the building,

me, Weasel and about. Don't even know what you're watching. You don't wanna go in there, boys, it's security guard. Basically security guard of the building, me, Weasel and about. Don't know if it's not watch. You don't want to go in there, boys, there's a Weasel! That's a Weasel and there's a Weasel and a Lux! And we had a very good setup. There was at least ten of us living in buildings at one time. You used to live right in the middle of Zone 1, it was like dead exciting.

You used to live in Piccadilly, live near Oxford Circus, and we had a very strict sort of rotor cleaning rotor that people had to stick to. One day, you paint the door red. She's like, everyone should be in the room. She's like, everyone should be in the room. She's like, everyone should be in the room.

She's like, everyone should be in the room. But for the first part of our relationship, me and James live with our two friends, also a couple. Can I ask you one more question, I've been a property guide. Yes, please do. It's one of the things about it, though, that, like, they call up and say, by the way, you're all out tomorrow? Well, not exactly tomorrow, 14 days.

And one time I was in Edinburgh at the festival, got a phone call, early doors at the festival, two weeks, got in the out. So all of my housemates in a very communal living style just had to pack all my shit up and take it Oh, the next one I left Edinburgh went but when left and went to this new building you've never been to before never been to wow So yeah, so that kind of personality to sort of jump on board property guardian in I feel like I just scared to get on rollercoaster Yes, yeah, it's crazy. I don't think I you're scared to get a rollercoaster? Yes. It's crazy. An odd conflict, isn't it? It is, isn't it?

I don't think I could go back to it now. You'd shout no. There was a bit. You got to the front door. Stop! Um, but for, you know, for a time, I loved it. I could imagine being into it, like early twenties. Early twenties.

Exactly, early twenties. I was a fan of the couple. Having a great time. Everyone's coming around. I was a property guard in Ben's mom and dad's front room. Just keeping it safe. You've got the two week call. I ignored it.

Stayed right, Mo. So sorry, you were living with a couple of buried. Before we got married, I'm not after we got married, carried on living with them. So you got married having never lived just the two of you alone? True. Wow. That's bold, actually, never lived.

That's very, never really considered that. That's very nice, indeed, indeed. Although, I imagine, I imagine if you can live with another couple as well as your partner, you're probably well equipped to... You'll probably know by then. And imagine that's a bit more stressful than just a two, but then you've got a common enemy. stressful than just a tour, you know. But then you've got a common enemy.

And you've got distractions, if anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it is a risk. It's a big difference. You're very much the boot to the 13 pairs of traitors, don't you? You'll go, well, yeah, I'm bad, but look at those 13 pairs of traitors. Yeah, you're like, oh, yeah, I've pated the door red, but these two, you'll be like, I'm baby there. Where's my barrage?

And I would say, I don't know what they'd say, we never really had proper beef, never any real bad flatmate beef. Wow. But there was one period, and I've spoken about this on a podcast before, so she won't mind me saying. And it wasn't beef, but one of the flatmates had a bad back and every morning would take a bath to sort of ease it out.

Right, okay. And unfortunately, you know, people have their times of the day that they generally go to the toilet, don't they? I'm talking. Yeah, the first. She's the shit on the floor vibe. The first one of the day is very much a sort of alarm call.

I'm awake now, I've got to go. Let's go, yes, I know that. And there's only one bathroom in this flat, of course, living in London. Of course, yeah, of course. Every morning, you know, having to hold on when she's going to get out of the bath. You're there clenched. I'm there, really, yeah. So one morning, you know, having to hold on when she's gonna get out of the bath. You're there clenched. I'm there really, yeah. So one morning James is out.

She's taking an unusually long bath. How bad is this back? Well, back, pretty stiff. I'm needing to go and I'm needing to go bad. So. You do love a shit, don't you? I like, I shit a lot. Yeah.

It's no secret. It's no secret. How many times a day do you think you're shitting? Up to six. Six times a day is it really not? I could do on a good day. The weasel will shit. Oh my god.

It's all about time. I know she likes to shit. I know she likes to shit. Good luck boys. Good luck boys. She's a shitter. No more standing. Relaxing.

I heard that apparently anything between about ten times a day and No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not.

No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not.

No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's a bigger saucers now All right, it's been going to be a bowl. I can't get up my game Possibility Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Okay, all right. Okay. Okay. I know the receptacles to pick. Was it a sports direct mug? Was it a large mug?

It was a rather large mug, yeah. Had to be, didn't it? But I did it over the bin. I did it over the bin. So there's, oh good. There's two. Oh, so there's an animal then. So there's a mug and then there's a bin.

There's a mug and then there's a bin. Did anything get in the bin? Was it all in the mug? No, I managed to really keep it to the mug actually. Oh, absolutely. She's filled the power tailor of shitting's a bin. Did anything get in the bin or was it all in the mug? No, I managed to really keep it to the mug actually. Oh, absolutely. She's filled the power tailor of shitting into a mug. I got great aim. Phenomenal.

I'm going to cross the room. Never get the it. The big question for me. Did you wash the mug and retain it? No. The mug. This is where I become a sort of criminal. I wrap it in a plastic bag. Yeah. And I take it to the nearest public bin that's not close enough to my house.

I mean, I don't know who's going through the bin thinking. I'm going to find you. You traveled to a different place. I traveled and I've been here. I've had a bit of DNA. We can really pin it into the conference. We can really pitted into the conference. What's brilliant is that I never told her this had happened and I never said the baths in the morning opposing a problem for me, but she then listened to the podcast that I talked about it on. And then I got home one day and she just written me a card saying sorry

Oh, no, and bought me a new mug He bought you a new mug with the stickers bar in it Well, I tell you that's great. I mean, that feels almost like it's kind of beef-solved itself. That's okay though. Yeah, I don't even know if we need fans, you're honest. No, no, no, no. Because it was such a fantastic story. That's great.

Camille, thank you so much for coming on the podcast. I feel like we could talk all day about this, but unfortunately, I've got to go throw up. So, I'm going to have a cup of hot chocolate. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast. Thank you, so far. You want to plug anywhere people can see you. I'm a weasel. I like to be mysterious. Sure. Sure. One of the traits of a weasel. Do you have those half-meni traits? That's what you say when you literally

can't think of anything. Well, do you want to plug your Instagram? I'm a weasel. The greedy weasel. Oh, do you know what? Yeah, I should start posting on the screen. I love that. I think it's fantastic. See the out of the greedy weasel at greedy weasel is me at Camille, you Chan and I just sort of do like greedy weasel and stuff. I go into them. Okay. Yeah. What I do is I go to places where you can go with your friends if you're annoying like sorry, you're a vegan, you're a dairy intolerant if you're annoying like sorry you're a vegan you're dairy intolerant you're this you're that and I go to places where you have mates who are not that and they're like oh god I'm gonna go for dinner with you but you can all go and have a nice time. That's brilliant yeah yeah

I love that I live that history how are you doing that's really good okay good I'll carry on. Lee and Dean on 4oD. Lee and Dean is on 4oD. Why am I doing all your promo for you? Lee is on 4oD, a lovely channel for comedy that I'm in. Birthday girls, House Party podcast, hopefully coming back very soon. Already made, it was great. Yeah. Weasel and the boat? Weasel and the boat. Weasel and the boat.

Weasel and the boat. Well thank you so much for weasel and onto our show, it's been really fun. Thank you for having me. Be here from the starting at your beach! There we go, one a lovely episode. Thank you for having me. Be from the Zoning A and B! There we go, one a lovely episode. Thank you for sticking with us. Through thick and thin. That's the spirit.

Yes, obviously. You know what, at points it seemed like that was going to be a real Andy's holiday. But you know what, we put it in. It was really fun, the whole chat was fun. If you enjoy listening to these podcasts as much as we enjoy making them, then please support us on Patreon.

We can't do it without your support. Yeah, we should tell you about the Patreon as well. If you sign up to the Patreon, you get a bonus episode every single Thursday. And some of them are done week away. Some of the bonus episodes, along with the real episodes, they're so fun, they're really silly and messy and they're dirty. They're very dirty. So if you like the sort of dirty stuff, the grubby, it's a bit like a holly eggs, the late, whatever that show was. You know when they were all out to swear? Baywatch nights. Baywatch nights is very much Baywatch nights. There's other tears as

well that come with other bonuses, so have a look and get on board the Patreon train. Absolutely, wait. Everything helps. It's all very, very... Everything helps get on iTunes, leave us a review. That's good. Otherwise, just have a lovely time and be nice to the people you know and do stay tuned for the patreon neighborhood What role can we do please and please and guys be honest and be fair in 2020 fair in 2020 and the fairest thing We can say is that this episode was produced by Emma caution Cheers everyone Ladies gentlemen Cheers everyone, bye! Ladies, gentlemen, and everything in between.

God, please, God bless. Please, please, please, whoever your God may be. If you don't have a God, God bless. Shh! Shh! Shh! Please be upstanding. I'm just going to move on from that please be upstanding Come on! Well ladies and gentlemen, you join me now. We've got a real scene in front of us. Oh my god It's happening once it's happening twice. It's happening threes. She jumped into the ring. She's having a great time

It's Emma Reese. Oh my god. Oh She's having a great time. It's Emma Reese. Oh my God. Oh, here she comes out. It's like a tight corn hammer. She's taking it well. Oh no. Oh no.

It's an absolute failure. Oh, what a shame for Eleanor Taylor. I don't think she can recover from that. Oh my God. She can come round the corner. Where is she going? She's going round the corner. Oh, she's coming round the corner. She's cracked it the bus ahead of her. It's another absolute failure.

It's Catherine Taylor. Oh, no, no, no. Well, ladies and gentlemen, there is a real scene. In front of us now, she's coming round the corner. Oh, she's gone round the crash. She's having a good time, and she's stopped for some food. Oh, no, the crowd don't like that What's she eating?

It's a donut Oh that's not enough No, what's she going? She's going to have some gaps Oh, I don't know why she's done that She's got a hole in the middle I'm going on a mini one, she gets over the finish line She's going to go home

And she's going to watch the telly Aiding that donut It's Caitlyn Donnelly that donut, it's Caitlin Donnelly. Oh no, it's a real shame. It's taken off. What is That is classic James Hans Oh Mona me, a normal steak She's coming round the corner She's coming round the corner She's having a lovely time She's having a lovely time

She's coming round the corner Well see Buccoo She's watching the teddy She's amazing Everything's gonna be alright She's right on the light Oh Ladies and gentlemen Ladies and gentlemen I'm not going to be able to get you. I'm not going to be able to get you. I'm not going to be able to get you. I'm not going to be able to get you. I'm not going to be able to get you. I'm not going to be able to get you.

I'm not going to be able to get you. I'm not going to be able to get you. I'm not going to be able to get you. I'm not going to be able to get you. I'm not going to be able to get you. I'm not going to be able to get you. I'm not going to be able to get you. I'm not going to be able to get you.

I'm not going to be able to get you. I'm not going to be able to get you. I'm not going to be able to get you. I'm not going to be able to get you. I'm not going to be able to get you. I'm not going to be able to get you. I'm not going to be able to get you. I'm not going to be able to get you.

I'm not going to be able to get you. I'm not going to be able to get you. I'm not going to be able to get you. I'm not going to be able to get you. I'm not going to be able to get you. I'm not going to be able to get you. I'm not going to be able to get you. and winner of the evening was Ms. Rachel Knight. That's not how a race works. The last person is the winner. Please give another round of applause. We have a headliner in your last place. We have a race.

Oh, she was coming on the corner and that concludes this week's neighborhood watch. A roll call! Thank you to our sponsors, donuts. Buh. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Poor things. It's like theaters, December 15th.