Pappy's Flatshare - Beef Brothers Cold Cuts w/ Isy Suttie S11E33

Episode Date: August 16, 2021

The Beef Brothers are here to sort out your beef with special guest Isy SuttieIsy Suttie - https://twitter.com/IsysuttiePappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetIf you have a flatshare based beef you'd like us to solve then send it to [e-mail] us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareProduced by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greetings, listener dear, and welcome to a Beef Brothers cold cuts you're listening to Ben Clark and Matthew Crosby. I really liked that actually, that was a really, you know, it was very morning radio. So that got off my turf man. I enjoyed that a lot. That was good. So, this is the Izzy Suti Beef Brothers cold cuts that we've talked so much about. And by Golly, we had fun, didn't we? We talked to the bloody cows came home. We really did. We started, you know,

sort of late-ish in the evening for people with kids. And we finished earlier in the morning. Yeah, we just kept on chatting away. We had such a nice time. It was really, really fun to catch up with this. It's been ages since we've all seen her. And it was really, it was just really, really delightful. Perry is still away in the world of other show business,

so he's not on this episode at all. His boycott continues until you join the Patreon guys, and until he gets to the, he's asked for 17 million followers, so the way to do that is to go to patreon.com, forward slash, papi's flat share share and join today. And if you are a fan of Izzy City and of course why wouldn't you be, then you'll want to get onto the Patreon because on the Patreon there's an extra bonus beef that we solved with Izzy. None of the information in that bonus beef is in the main feed, it's completely, it's a standalone

beef and it's a really really strong one. And if you do, you'll get a bunch of bonus episodes and you also get your name read out on the podcast in the Patreon neighborhood Watch Roll Call, which will be at the end of this episode. What a treat. What a treat. Speaking of what a treat. Let's just get straight into this episode. Get into it.

It was so good and the semi-challet we might have to finish. It's going to be a lot of it. Yeah. You don't need much more waffle from us. This is, and of course, you've got a wonderful book out as well, so get the book, but this is Izzy Suti on Beef Brothers Colquats. Well, if you've got a problem, I'm calling a problem, if you've got a problem call it a beef, if you've got a beef, maybe we can help you beef from the sorting at your beef.

Well, thanks. Thanks so much for coming on the show. By the way, Paris not here, If you've got a beef, maybe we can help you Be from the sorting at your beef. Thanks so much for coming on the show. By the way, Perry's not here. He's not going to be able to do it today Because he's making a movie. That's so exciting. So, yeah, so he's taking a break off the podcast for a couple of months. Okay, cool. So that is, yeah, just to say we'll...

This is the episode. Okay, cool. And also to say, you're going to join us for the next few months, right? Yeah, yeah, that was a point. I'm going to change my name to Tom. Not Tom's. Not Tom's. He's Tom Sutty. Tom Sutty, right?

Yeah, I'll be in a margamation of the two of us. Which parts of your personality you're going to retain, and which parts of his you're going to adopt? I think I'll keep my hair. Yeah, good call that. I'd like to grow a few inches. I mean, this is all physical stuff, isn't it? Yeah, it doesn't really relate to the podcast. No. Would you honestly like to be taller? Yeah, I think so. You never struck me as a short person, but then I had the very short person. I think I'd like to be like an inch taller.

I think everyone likes an extra inch. Would you? Would God name it? I don't think he'd like an extra inch. And Clarky doesn't want an extra inch on his height. He should. Oh yes. But I, well,. Oh yes, yes.

But I, well how tall is, how tall are you? What are you? About five, six? Five four. Oh, you're five four, or are you? No, are you really? Well, I think I might be five, five, actually. I never know what to put, you know, sometimes when you're doing an acting job, they need your

height. I think I would put five four, but I think I might be five four and a half. I think Ellis likes to think that I'm 5'4 because he's like... 5'7. Yeah, 5'7, yeah. Yeah, so that's a nice gospel space. Yeah, it's the... Well, I think, I'll us fellow short comedians, we all check out how it tallied you. I'm like, I know that, I know that job, like, as I'm 5'5 and a half.

You've all got it notched on the doorway of the comedy store, don't you? Yeah. Well, the Scurting Board, yeah. But I know I'm five, five and a half, Josh is five, six and a half. I think Jack D might be five, six, sort of bang on. But like, we're all sort of, you know, there's,

yeah, I don't talk about it. I'm sure to the me basically. There's something in this, like a sketch. Yeah, it'll be a very subtle version of that sketch that Ronnie Corbett, Ronnie Barker and John Clees did. Yeah, you know, they all stood in a line and almost imperceptible inclined. But yeah, so you're, well, great to have Tom City on the show. Thanks.

See my voice has changed. Really good actually. Yeah, that was really impressive. How has your Wolverhampton accent? Oh, you've been, oh you've been eating things this week. Oh, you've lived, well he's moved to Exeter now hasn't he? So he might, he's like this guys, he's moved from, he's started eating things. Are you, are you, are you just the jolly chap?

Are you from Wolverhampton? What can you say? It's like he's, you know, it's like he's right here on the zoom. It's quite, it's quite, it's like he's right here on the Zoom. This is uncanny. It's quite freaky, it's blowing my mind. Or in Tom Surti at your survey. He's got a quarter, doesn't he go when he laughs? Yeah, he does a bit.

Yeah. He has got a bit of a bit of a, like a hulk. Like Melanie from Neighbours. Or Jimmy Carr. Yes, Jimmy Carr. Yeah. He's got the, yeah, I mean, I think, I think I believe him when he's doing that.

Yeah. I'm not talking to Jimmy Carr. Jimmy Carr, Tom. Oh, Tom, yeah. But the inhalation of breath, it's always, when you hear someone who laughs like that, it's always hard to know whether or not they're just doing it because they feel like they should be doing it.

Yeah, I'm just trying to, it's hard to laugh when you, like if you just gasped when I tried to do it. You try to do a fake laugh. I'm trying to do it in, in the, in the, in the laugh. Yeah, it just sounds as magic, doesn't it's at the end. And...

Oh, sorry, I didn't realise you're fake laughing at my... LAUGHTER But thank you for conversing to me. LAUGHTER Well, you can't laugh outwardly all the time, can you? You've got to take a breath. So, one thing is that I think there are different types of laughs, and I think I giggle, not when I'm like, but like, if someone takes the piss out of me in a certain way, it really makes

me laugh, and I think there's a different laugh for that, which is more like a giggle, where it's like I physically fold in on myself, whereas yeah, it's weird when you think, I think why you're laughing informs the laugh. Yeah, totally. Have you ever been on a date and kind of been like, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Where was that day lucky? We're going to get a long time ago now, but yeah. It's a little girl. But like laughter, you know, kind of, I'm enjoying this, but I'm going to kind of give it a little extra just so you know.

Oh yeah. Well, a little bit of extra is exactly what, so Charlie and I, whenever we go and see comedy shows, we always go, let's just start laughing. As soon as it's clear that the comic is going to be in the video. Oh, that's nice. Let's just start laughing. Yeah. Because it'll clear that the comic is making a difference. Oh, that's nice. Let's just start laughing. Yeah. Because it'll get people, you know,

it'll be a bit of cheerleading for the rest. And also, after a while, you sort of go, well, I don't know if I am enjoying this or not, but I'm laughing, because it's started, you know. It's a good way to kind of kickstart yourself into enjoying it. Oh, yeah, no, definitely. Yeah.

What kind of insults though, is he make you laugh? When you say people insult you in a certain type of way, what are the kind of insults that get you? Well, I suppose like insults feels a bit strong. You like it too, you like it, you can clap, you like that? Let's know, let's, what I think she's like, she's laughing. I think, I think, is he's crying there? Actually, she's first a dearest.

I think Tom Sutty likes insults. Yeah, I love insults. He dishes them out and he can take them as well. He can take them. Yeah, he's a good lad, he can take them. He's a good sturdy lad. Yeah, he's shown us a broad, he can take it in himself. He's a good all-rounder. He's a good lad.

He's quite all-round. He's an all-round good bloke, he's all-rounder. He's a good all-rounder. He's a good all-rounder. He's an all-round good bloke, he's all-rounder. He's not great at anything, but he's good at lots of things. Oh, yeah, absolutely. He's a jack-of-all-master-an-un. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. So, I'll give you an example yesterday, my friend.

This is actually about my mum, but we both laughed. My mum was describing how- I think you like people insulting your mum. Yes, I do, I do. I like it when I see other people laughing this way and then I feel relaxed and off to laugh too, but yes, I do also like people insulting my mum. In a nice way.

She was describing how to make three bean chilean. She kept going on about this woman called Rose Marie Conley or something you wrote this really famous vegetarian book. Oh yeah, I don't know Rose Marie Conley, yeah. Okay, yeah, yeah. So my friend Daniel was at the bottom of our steps having birthday cakes, it's my birthday on Wednesday. Happy birthday. And thank you. And she started to explain how to make three being Chilean, and he'd already pointed out that she kept going on and on about Rose Ricanly which was quite funny but then she

Described how to make it and she immediately said fry the bacon So then I said I thought you said it was meat free and then she said it is it is Then he said fry the bacon add a sausage and then it was very funny and she for either bacon, add a sausage, and then it was very funny. And she, and it was obviously one of those things that were very funny at the time, but I'm giving it and is an example because she really giggled even though she's nearly 80, like a schoolgirl, and then I really giggled too. So it's that kind of insult, someone saying that you're adding meat to a vegetarian dish, rather than you're a total twat. How would you react if your friend Daniel had said to your mum, by the way,

you were touched the twat. He was on the edge doing a funny thing. The banter had been rolling, but just as the of the sting in the tail. By the way, the sting in the tail. He real for a moment. I think she would have been confused. Yeah. I think. Yeah. Well, there's only one way to find out. Exactly.

Next time you've got to prime Daniel. Next time he sees you mum. Lovely bit of banter, lovely bit of riffage. Nearly ends. By the way, Mrs. Siftee, you're a total twat. Yes. next time he sees you mum, lovely bit of banter, lovely bit of riffage, nearly ends, by the way, Mrs. Sifte, you're a total twat. Yes, let's see what happens. Report back, that's all about it. The only way to find out is to try it.

Absolutely, the proof will be in the three bean chili. So have we talked about what kind of a flatmate you are? I don't feel like we have. So I feel like, so I live in a split level maze and I didn't know that before we decided to put it on the market, but it's too flaws of a house. And with Alice and my two kids, and I think that I'm a different flatmate. I used to be, I think, I'm a different flatmate.

I used to be, I think, a really fun, but quite practically inconsiderate flatmate in the past. Sure. Like, I used to claim that I like, and it was true, that I didn't understand, like, when to wash the dishes and that I couldn't like see dirt You know like Well, it's like not even that it was was just like, almost like guys, I'm too artistic to notice.

Like, duh. Like, yeah. Anyway, it was like, I'm thinking about my Edinburgh show. I can't think about the recycling as well. Like, it was, yeah. Yeah, if someone came along and saw a Jackson Pollock and then took the debt all to it, they'd wipe away great art. Exactly. That's what we're creating here.

All those splats, you know, catch up on little coffee grains that have stuck to the kitchen counter. That is my masterpiece. Exactly. Is that telling the story of my existence? Exactly. It's the tapestry of our lives, Garne. Yes. Yes. Bacteria is good for you. What's wrong with you? I just remember the story, by the way, that I think you told me, and I think it comes from your childhood. It's not when you were, not when you were sort of, I think I know what you're going to. I think I know what you're going to. About wiping your nose?

Yeah. Yeah. Do you want, do you want, do you want, do you, do you want, do you want, do you, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do I, do Lion bed at night and you would pick your nose and then you would just wipe it onto the wall next to your bed, but like under, kind of under the bed rather than it was it,

well, like down the back of the, the headboard or something like that. It fits wrong, I'll correct you as we go along. It was above my head on the wall. Above your head on the wall, right? Okay. I thought it was somewhere that was a little bit more hidden than that because did, did, did somebody talk about like five foot fourish? So you'd lie in bed and you wipe above the bed. When I was lying down, yeah.

So about the length of an arm, above the bed, and then after a while, it got covered in like silverfish? Yeah, so basically, yeah, why you thought it was lower down was because I used to wipe my hand along the wall every few days once they dried and they would all fall off down behind the bed into the same place. Because I had a double bed amazingly at like the age of seven, but I always just sleep on the same side. So the bogies formed this, were forming this bogie mountain without me realizing

because I didn't ever clean my room. Surprise you were. Now you know what kind of flat. I made this up a little boyfriend out of bogies to lay next to you on that bed. Yeah, essentially, yeah. I was creating, it was a science fiction experiment. A literal bogie man.

Yes. Yes, a natural bogyman under my bed. So it sounds like a mountain of bogey under your bed. Yes, and then one day my mum sort of said enough is enough, this room's a real mess, let's clean it, and I moved, looked under the bed and then moved the bed, and there were so many things under the bed, like plates, you'd let it crumbs on them and clothes and everything. And I distinctly remember the moment I looked to the bed, like plates, you'd loads of crumbs on them and clothes and everything. And I distinctly remember the moment I looked to the corner

and was like, what the fuck is that? Oh. And so all the bogas had gone grey and kind of translucent because they were so old and they'd gone really dry. And I think when I brushed my hand along, the wall I just thought, they've gone. I didn't think about where they've gone. Why would you, you know, you flick a bogie away and it's gone. I didn't think about where they've gone. Why would you, you know, you flick a bogey

away and it's gone. Yeah, you didn't start thinking like that until when until eight thirties. That was when that was when thinking about dirt and it's a consequences really kicked in for you. I'm at 3839. Yeah, he's a nice guy. The dirt's translucent to me. I once did that with my mum used to make sandwiches for school that I didn't like. And so I tried to sell them and if I couldn't sell them I'd just point it off. Sometimes my mate would buy them off me for like 20 pay. That's so enterprising.

Yeah. That's true. Why are you not Alan Sugar? That's the story that everyone of the apprentice has as like there. I was selling sandwiches in the playground with the age of four. You know, that's the story they've got. Why do you not then? What you don't know is that certain people just peak at a certain time, don't they? You peak at a certain time. That was your moment. I just, I didn't so much peak as just I plateaued. That's it.

You know, the same amount of, you still tell this sandwich is a playground. What, what were the sandwiches that you didn't like? It was more, it was basically any sandwich because she did, which now would probably be amazing. Homemade bread, which as a child, I just didn't want at all. It was very dark and heavy. And I always thought, So it didn't want at all, it was very dark and heavy.

So it didn't matter what was it then? White sliced, so pretty much anything she made. But then I'd, she thought I liked chicken salad because that's what my mate liked and he would buy him. So then what would you eat? Would you buy some lemon and 20 P? Yeah, try to. And then when I came home from school, I'd have a ball of cereal.

Yeah. So you'll be starving coming home from school, you'll have a soldier sandwiches. A mum would say, like, he's a growing boy. And you're living purely on cocoa pops. One meal a day. It's good you don't have homemade cereal. My mum was a bit like that. She used to make this carrot soup with her hide-doodle.

Is your mum a twat? See, I laughed there. We first established this now. No, we can't make final time. Final time. I know you're going to mention your mum again. If you do, I'm just going to be nice. You've met my mum.

I hope that's your bit. I don't know. She didn't think you were a twat. Which is miraculous. Especially on this. Maybe she isn't twat if she doesn't think that's big. She's not a trachea, she's a terrible judge of character. That's like her and the witch is, what was the test they used to do with Witches if they floated, they were a witch and if they drowned, they weren't.

Yeah, exactly. They got killed anyway if they floated they were a witch and if they drowned they weren't. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they got killed anyway if they floated. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If she thinks you're a twat then she's a twat and if she doesn't think you're a twat, no, she doesn't think you're a twat then she's a twat and if she thinks you're a twat then you probably think she's a twat. Yeah, exactly. Either way, if anyone's getting burned. Just to finish my point with the sandwiches, what I did with one of them was just down the back of my wardrobe, like behind my wardrobe, and years later when we went to decorate my room, we pulled the wardrobe away and it was just this black brick, wrapped in cling film.

What is that? You know what, it's probably really- I actually realised it was a sandwich. It's really good. It was rapt in cling film because you could have got nice. Absolutely stunk. Yeah. Be from the starting at your beef!

So we should do... Sure. We should do someone else's beef really after hearing all the problems we've got. This one is absolutely fantastic, by the way. It's from Adam and it's called potential ghost beef. Now Adam has got in touch via beefbrotherspodcast.gmail.com. If you'd like to get in touch as well,

that's the place to do it. He says, hello, I'll keep it brief and use some bullet points for this. The gist is that as a family, we've been haunted by a screaming ghost, but everyone refuses to accept it. Here we go. Okay.

Bullet Point number one. Family holiday at a remote cottage in the Maus, a regular holiday spot, an old Methodist chapel that was converted in the 1970s and still looks like the 1970s inside. Bullet Point two. First afternoon, everyone here is a loud scream. We're all in the same room. Someone says, oh, it's probably just the dog yawning. The dog is asleep in the same room.

Point number 3. During the night, something screams directly in my ear. Long enough for me to wake up, sit upright and it's still going. Whatever it is, it seems to run out of breath. This happens again on the third night. My brother sleeping in the same room says he also hears the scream, but is an unreliable witness. He's well known for imagining these sort of things. A previous holiday, I worked to find him staring at the wind. Oh my god, this is really creepy. I worked to find him staring out the window whispering, they are here. This is actually one of the, this is, this is when the beefs are not normally this scary

that we get from all this scary. And that's so way for pizza and like livery while here. Oh, it could have been that, yeah. But I think you would, would you whisper it? They are here. No, you'd say it. Yeah, you'd just say it, wouldn't you? You'd say they're here as well, you wouldn't say they are here.

Yeah, I think it's the fact that there's no conjunction there. Yeah. Yeah. No one else believes me. In the next few days, I'm shot down constantly whenever I mention the screen. It's probably a fox. That would just be a deer. There's an owl around.

It'll be that. It's not an animal. I work in nature conservation and know the sounds the animals make. It then turns out my sister also heard someone running around the outside of the house in the night, but ignored it. I cannot stress enough how remote this cottage is. There's other weirdness but I've rambled on long enough. We're already booked to go again this year. And it maddens me that we are willingly subjecting ourselves to a haunting. How can I persuade these people who have been subject to the same spookiness as me that the beast is real and we should go on a different family holiday or maybe not one at all?

To be clear, I don't believe in ghosts, but this is still an unpleasant enough experience to not go there again. Loving the podcast as per, although it's extremely depressing, how much I spent listening to you strangers the last year rather than my real life friends thanks Adam. Well thank you Adam. What a message. Lovely. Let's just do a little role call of who who here believes in ghosts. Clarke. No. Is he? Agnostic. Yeah, I'm the same. I sort of don't, I don't think I do, but then I have had some sort of ghostly experiences. Yeah, it's weird, isn't it?

Like I feel like I'm open to it, but I don't think I've ever, there are two, I used to do a lot of Ouija boards when I was younger and I became known as a person who could start Ouija boards off. And I, yeah, I used to do them on my own a lot. My mum taught me how to do them. So, wait, how do you, like, so, so, starting the Ouija board off is you're all holding like a glass or something like that or a coin I used to do it with. I actually, actually, glass, when mum showed me how to do it, which was only, oh, only about 10 or 11. It was a glass or something like that or a coin I used to do it with. Spirit actually glass, when Mum showed me how to do it, which was only about 10 or 11, it was a glass,

because I used to have to say spirit of the glass I believe in you. And then I used to draw out the alphabet on a piece of A4 paper and numbers, and yes, no, with a cross in the middle. And I mean, so many people don't believe in Ouija boards, but it used to move and it really didn't feel like it was me moving it. And it sometimes took like half an hour for me to get it to move. And I spoke to so many people over the years,

like people who died in the plague, people like, and then say, then a really scary thing happened, which was I did it with my tea best friends from school at one of their houses. And we spoke to a soldier who died died and we asked him to prove that he was a spirit and he named all these places in Norway that we quickly wrote down and when we looked them up in an insectopodian none of them existed but we were all... So that's the proof that you were making them up. It's just that.

What's scary is just how much of an idiot that soldier was. Exactly. He didn't know how to spell. Why do we get the one-disk lexic soldier? Who? We've got one, but at least got GCSE English. We just have a few than that's a one. We also did one at a party once and we got, we thought John Lennon, I ended up putting this in my book.

We got John Lennon this party in Shafield and we were doing it in his bedroom and when I was with other people as well there was a feeling that could they be moving it, could they be moving it, but I really used to feel the difference when I can't tell you like it was an amazing buzz when it used to whip around the board and it was like spelling out words so quickly. It is like it has an energy of its own and maybe it is just your kind of collective energy or when you're on your own you tap into something else. Anyway we got John Lennon and then we spoke to him like very briefly then we were like could you go and get Bob Marley? And then he said no.

And we were like, he's annoyed with us, we really. And we were like, can you tell him he's a legend? Yeah, I don't think any, you know, even when they're dead, no celebrity wants you to say, by the way, could you get some on better? We're all big reggae fans here, you know, I think some of, you know, like the Beatles stuff was obviously good, but some of the solo work is just retreading rock and roll as far as I'm concerned. You know, you weren't necessarily an innovator when it came to the solo work. Johnny, that, John? Oh, he's gone. So, you got this, you're, you're, you're, you're, people are spreading stuff out for you, and if you got someone there

like writing, have you got a sort of stenographer who? Well, yeah, I mean, in that case with the Norwegian soldier, yes, we did, we didn't normally use to write stuff down, but another time, so normally you can't ask for people, like, when we got John Lennon, we must have got a spirit to ask for John, because you can't ask for people. Like when we got John Lennon, we must have got a spirit to ask for John because you can't normally request, at least I couldn't. But I remember once to him when I was about 15. And when you wait, I just say, you couldn't request me, you still,

you knew you couldn't request me, you still asked for Bob Marley. You're not going to rule. Once you got someone on the line. You can't request initially exactly Ben, once you've got someone on the line, then you can request, but you can't go to the Ouija board and be like, I only want to talk to someone if it's, you know, my granddad.

Yeah, sure. So we did one in a place that we used to call down by the rocks, which was this sort of muddy bank near our house that was the closest thing to the sea, but we used to think it was a beach. And I said, if anyone's there, please move to yes and it moved to yes. And we said, spell out your name, which is always what we used to do first. And it's spelled out easy. But it's spelled it wrong.

It's spelled it I double Z Y. And Jamie, someone from school, was it? Someone from the little group of friends I used to have out with. Someone said, a US East ghost from the future and it said yes. But I think that was quite an easy question to say yes. What can you tell me about my future? Well, you'll go to the deep poll office and change your name, right? Just the spelling. And so I could ask any question and the only thing I could think to ask it was how many times I was going to have sex in my life and it said something insane like 33 million, 6,000

and whatever time. And we wrote that down as well. And I put that in a shoe box. And then every time I had sex, I used to write it in my diary and try and get. And then once I got to 20 million, I was like, you know, I've proved my points. I could just ask, how did you not do your bedpost?

Was it, was it Pocus on the Wall? Yeah. Pocus on the bedpost, the next film. From where would it be from? The other thing is that when my dad died 10 years ago, Mum said that she'd read that dead people have recently passed away leave white feathers if they're like sending a message, which is a really nice thing. I've heard that, yeah, yeah. And she, and this is true, and I think this is the closest thing to make me believe in, not ghosts, but I suppose spirits all that there's another world up there. We couldn't find the stopcock you know to turn the water off there's a problem with the water and

we needed to find the stopcock and she never dealt with any of that so you didn't know where it was. We looked everywhere for hours and hours and then she finally looked under the bath which is probably the place we should have been in. So how is on the Ouija board going? Where's this top cock? No, wait, no, wait. No, wait, no, wait. No, wait, no, wait, no, wait, no, wait, no, wait, no, wait, no, wait, no, wait, no, wait, no, wait, no, wait, no, wait, no, wait, no, wait, no, wait, no, wait, no, wait, no, wait, no, wait, no, wait, no, wait, no, wait, no, wait, no, wait, no, wait, no, wait, no, wait, no, wait, wait, no, wait, no, wait, no, wait, wait, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait my feather on top of it. And how could it, I know, how could it go? That is pretty wild, isn't it?

Yeah, so that is the case. And I remember the other day thinking, seeing a white feather in the living room, I was like, Dad, think about me. And then I noticed that the cushion had basically burst and there were loads of water. So. So.

Yeah. So that white feather thing does make me think. And a bit of the Ouija boards. I mean, was there was the reason you had to turn off the water is because a load of Davs had flown to the immersion heater. Is that the reason? Because that might have an explanation for that. Yeah, so what's our advice to our friend Adam here? Well like Clarky as a as a non-believer. What do you what how do you explain the this how do you explain the screaming the noises outside the the house? The I don't know, you know Obviously, he's kind of answered the big one himself of it could could it be a deer could it be a fox

himself of it could it be a deer could it be a fox? When I was camping once and there was that absolute mad sound. I can't remember quite what it sounded like but it sounded like somewhere between like human or inhuman. And my brother who's very outdoorsy was like no that's I was like I think that's a deer and he was like no no way I went to try and find it but couldn't it stopped when I got near but and then I looked it up the next day and it was it was a male it was a male deer is it stuck how did you look it up did you is there like a thing that you can, like, I just kind of Googled it and they have like audio. Right.

So it's the sort of thing that when people are hunting for bigfoot, they might hear that and think, oh, that sounds like a wilder creature than just a... Yeah, I don't know. She's like, well, I meant, there should be a shazam for anime. Yeah. I think there's a Shazam is what I meant. There should be a Shazam for anime songs. I think there's a, isn't there like a Shazam for a bird song? Yeah, I'm sure there is. You can play the bird song and they'll tell you what.

But then, clarky would, you have to repeat it. Clarky would have had to recreate the noise himself, wouldn't you? Yeah, that's it, isn't it? Yeah, and then the next group of camp, it turns out it was the previous group of campers trying to just to zam it, making noise out in the woods. It's time. And we just had this loop going of us. Could he get out the next people? Could you reach out and out? Yeah. And what did you think it was like a wild I thought it was there Oh, so you weren't scared you didn't think it was like him no

It was something supernatural. I don't know what he thought I don't know if he did But he was like it's not there. It's not there But it's hard when the person who supposedly the expert says it's not the thing says it's not the thing. Like he was the one who was scared and he had the knowledge of, so you've got to trust him. Yeah. And this guy's saying that he works in conservation and it's not,

but what if he's like your brother and... He's a little, he could be a bit wrong. It could be the dream. And I know that sometimes I felt like I've woken up and thought I'd heard a voice kind of from my dream or so being reality. Like it started in my dream but finished outside of it. But I think that's just my brain doing that. But he said he sat upright and it was still going.

Yeah, I mean that doesn't seem like, you know, that's that's sort of beyond, you know, night terrors or kind of half asleep half awake. He's sitting up in here and it's screwing in his ear. So let's idea was in the room, you know. Yeah. How is and also what the people of Dunn Wids to for her, it hasn't they? It's not just him. Yeah, he's brother hearing it in the same room. Well, they did qualify his brother's bit weird. But I think the crazy thing is that in spite of all of this, they've all heard it, everyone in the family heard it, the first time everybody hears it, right? They blame it on the dog yawning. And they go, yeah, that's fine, we're going to carry on going to this place. I tell you what, why not, you know, I get on the Airbnb. You're interested, you should get in touch.

Let me know where it is. I'll go for a week. Oh my God, I'd go. How many does it sleep? We should all go. Well, yes. It certainly seems like family holiday. We're talking, you know, we've got a brother here.

I think we're assuming some parents as well, you know, at least one parent. So it can at least fit three. We should do a most haunted there. Oh my God, let's really dent genuinely do it. Yeah, I'll be up for that. You know, like the only thing is, we'd have to say no kids,

because they're get too scared. Well, also they're screaming as well. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I'm just a scream. I've just heard a yeah. Oh, yeah. I just have scream. I've just heard a scream. Oh, yeah. Well, there's three kids here.

I think the dog yawning thing, I think the dog could yawning it's sleep. I think the fact that the dog is asleep doesn't disqualify it yawning. Yeah. I think as well, you know, you're in, if it's a remote cottage, I think those senses are already tingling a bit. And you're almost, you know, and then you're, everything you hear seems suspicious or... Yeah, but it's the screaming, I think,

crossbees you said it's... I mean, yeah, sure. The screaming does feel like pretty hard to explain in a way. I've just realized something. God. In the horror movie, the guy who thinks he can hear the noise is always reassured by everybody else, no, it's nothing, it's nothing.

Why? Because they're in on it. Oh. Oh. You've got it, you've got to, you've got it not going that holiday. They're planning something. There's gonna be some, some wick of man shit, your family, honestly, if you see your brother

and he's packing like big hoods or something in his rough sack, I think, I think something's gonna go down at him. I think I'm giving you, I'm giving you a warning here. Just say, sorry, this year I'm gonna go on a little, you know, just I'm gonna go on a city break or little, you know, I'm just gonna go on a city break or something, you know, I'm just gonna,

I'm gonna go to, you know, they keep doing those adverts for how good Sheffield is, get a Sheffield. You know, do something like that, go and stay in it, go and stay in a travel lodge and do a pub crawl. Do something like that instead. Don't go with your family to a remote cottage where you can hear screaming in the night

and everybody else denies it's there. Yeah. You know, if we know the tropes of horror, I think my only advice to you is you're never going to persuade them because they're in on it. It's going to go, it's going to go kill this on you. And one of us will replace it if he wants. You know, we were talking about that. Yeah.

Yeah, we'll go instead. I now have just said that I think his out of the family is going to murder him. I'm loath to say, but I'll go instead. Whoever you look most like Adam, they'll go. And we'll stick to that. All I can hope is that Adam. So Adam, I'm so seeing you.

Yeah, so just hope Adam is a six foot two, a shaving headed man with broad shoulders from the Midlands. I, yeah, I think you're not gonna persuade him. Just, just leave, man. Yes. I think that's beef solved. Here from the starting, I can beef solved. This is from Anna and Nick.

Hi, Papi's lads. I've got a chick. Anna and Nick. Hang on, what about Tom Sutty? Because anyway, Tom Sutty's not getting an invention here. The honoree, the honoree, Papi's lads. I've got a chunky beef for you, which hopefully you and your guest can help me out with. I've been one of the lucky ones over lockdown. I moved in with my Dutch boyfriend in the Netherlands at the start of everything

and I've had the best year of my life. This, I know, it's lovely. This has also led to a lot of indulgence, including, but not limited to, consuming large quantities of rich Belgian beers. Sounds brilliant. Late night snacks. Love it.

And cap salon, brackets, incredible Dutch loaded chips couldn't recommend highly enough. We've also left our exercise regimes by the wayside in favour of binging our favourite series. Here in the beef lies. Unfortunately all that happiness has resulted in us both gaining weight. Now this isn't the worst thing in the world and I know lots of people have the same lockdown experience but we've both agreed that we'd like to get back into shape to get those healthy endorphins. We've agreed on this multiple in bold times. We periodically try a new fitness regime, but we can't seem to get into the habit while living together. My beef is not just with my boyfriend's stroke flatmate for encouraging these

outbursts of indulgence, but also with myself for doing the same, brackets I might be even worse. Instead of adopting each other's positive healthy routines, we end up sharing in each other's treats or sofa time. God, this sounds so great, doesn't it? It sounds wonderful. Please help us puppies. How can we flip it around and get back into healthy habits? We'll try out any suggestions to get us out of this default laziness, stroke, indulgence and back to activity. Firstly, I've looked up capsulon.

Oh yeah. Uh, it looks really... Is it kind of like a poutine type? No, it's more like everything you get from a kebab shop, chucked on top of some chips, sweet and some goo-dough. Oh my god, I'm gonna goo-glare. Yeah, so it's a fast food dish great, in 2003, in Rotterdam,

consisting of a layer of french fries, placed into a disposable metal take away tray, topped with donor or gyro meat, covered with a slice of goo to cheese, topped with donor or gyro meat, covered with a slice of good cheese and heated another until the cheese melts, then shredded iceberg lettuce with garlic sauce, hot sauce, and, you know, it's garlic sauce and hot sauce,

and it looks like kind of sliced onions as well. So basically, it's a cabab, you know, with no bread and chips, with no, yeah, cabab with, yeah, but with the hot sauce as well. Which is an absolute, that, with no, yeah, cabab with it. Yeah, but with the hot sauce. Which is an absolute, that, and cheese as well. That's the thing you don't get, you know,

you know, cabab being in chip, you get the layer of cheese. So you don't, but I'm looking at a photo bit where the chips look very soggy, which I don't like. I don't think I'd like the chips to soak up all the like juices and stuff. I think I like chips quite dry. Eat it really fast then.

Yeah. You've got to do. Or turn it upside down. You could have an upside down capsule on where you tip it out into another plate and eat the chips first. Guys, I'm not sure we're helping. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER

Basically, we're going to come and move in with you and we're going to eat the food before you get to it. Exactly. All of us. All of our babies involved. We'll come to you now. We're going to go and live where you live. Right. Are you an exercise you kind of person, is he?

Well, actually, I've started running. I put on weight in lockdown as Anna said, like a lot of us did. I've did, yeah. way in lockdown. As Anna said, like a lot of us did. Because we started having like four or five meals a day and I'd have like toasted tea cakes every day at four o'clock and then bay leaves and hallicks every night. It's incredible. That sounds great. The problem is, is with hearing other people's bad habits, it's like, oh, I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do that.

Yeah, someone says I started running, you go, oh, that's great for you, but then they start describing Baylees and Hallecks. Oh my God, yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna do that. Yeah, I mean things he mentioned. I'm gonna do that. That's the hook.

Is he, have you done any work that's sort of taking you out the house? Yes, I've just been doing an acting job that took me out of the house and I did bits and bobs over lockdown, I did mostly work in the house over lockdown. Is it mad though? Because I've found this now, with a few jobs I've done that are outside the house, how infrequently people think you need to eat. Like Jess, you've had, I've just been like,

on working on jobs where they go, okay, so yeah, breakfast is at seven, and then we'll do a lunch at 130, and then if you're still around, we'll do a T at six, and you go, no, no, no, we think. What about 11 o'clock? What about four o'clock? I'm gonna be starving at 8.30 a.m.

What am I supposed to do? And you feel like such a pig going, is there anything at all? I know it breakfast just a second ago, but can I just, like, you've got an apple or a banana or something? No, I know. I did the jobs the other day where it was seven till seven filming. And they only gave us lunch to go and get food. And also, they were like, we're not gonna do catering.

What's so, but you can have like 10 pounds per diems. And it was just, I was like, I'll go somewhere local, but it was just in the middle of nowhere. What for ages and just have to go to a corner shop? Oh, no, I have a corner shop sandwich. Yes, so you're eating like frasals in a Coke and a wet sandwich. Yeah. Oh my God. Well, I flipped it upside down so it wasn't wet.

Oh, yeah. I kind of think of these things. But yeah, it's so mad. It's like, I used to get it on the first day back of, first time I got to school after Christmas holidays when you would get to like the end of first period and you're like, I feel like I'm about to collapse. Oh, I'm like, I've got like, you know, another 50 minutes before I can go to, you know, eat my penguin bar or whatever, I've got my lunch box.

No, I know. It's sort of like that on New Year's Day, isn't it? Because you've got that period between Christmas and New Year that is just an absolute hint of land of trees. And that's what a lot of people have said. That's what lockdown felt like. It just felt like that weird period, you know, when you had nothing really to do and you just stayed in the house

and just ate. That's so true. Did you go through this, I went through this period of buying like fancy bread and stuff. I started doing Sainsbury's shops every week, and then I'd also like sometimes buy like two boxes of chocolates and stuff. And then just I would never normally buy boxes of chocolates, but it was like I got so bored of eating all the normal treats after about two months.

I was like it's almost like a drug addict who wants more of a buzz. I was like I need, I need like, it's almost like a drug addict who wants more of a buzz. I was like, I need, I need like a box of chocolate. It can't be dairy milk bar. Yeah, it's got to be, it's got to be thorns and and also the way, you know, the way we, we had that as well, we would just, you just put them away during a half hour TV show. It's just, it's, and again, we're not helping out any of it. We are making, we are showing our empathy. We are in a bad situation.

I don't think you'd be really hard push to find someone who didn't. And people probably drank more if they, you know, if they drink, I don't drink very much by drunk more in lockdown. I don't, I don't think that everyone kind of definitely put on way or got more unhealthy in some ways. Also, we went and allowed to go out. I did couch to 5K and I do really, I do still run and I really love it.

That's actually, that's not a bad thing the couch to 5K. Cause I know it's people, it's tricky when you're in the same house, but I know people, if they connect up their accounts, you know, that is an incentive for people. Cause they go, oh look, I know people, if they connect up their accounts, you know, that is an incentive for people. Because they go, oh look, I know so and so has already been for a run today and I haven't.

Yeah. Get a feel bad. That sounds good. It doesn't quite deal with the situation of, if I know so and so hasn't gone for a run, and I know so and so has bought some of those soggy chips. No. And they're waiting back at home for me.

That's... I think the really hard thing is treats being in the house. And when do they make this capsule on themselves? Or they, it looks like something you'd buy, does it? You do the Peru, yeah. It looks like that would be a classic, you know. You've, what it looks like is you've had your dinner, but then you've had a bottle of wine

or like a, you know, three or a half years ago. You're watching a film. Yeah, you've got a Twitter to order some capsulon or a few days. You're watching a film. Yeah, you got to tweet it on some capsule on. It'll just, it'll be here in 20 minutes. Yeah. You know, even if we're not on cream now, we will be then. The, we smell it. Yeah. Absolutely. I'm still, by the way, I'm on a Zoom chat to you, but I'm still looking at the Google Images page for capsule. Oh my god, yeah, I'm just can't stop looking at it. It's unbelievable. If you're listening to this podcast now and you know on a device that has internet then absolutely who will be listening to any device that doesn't have internet.

I can. I can. I can. I can. See this could be an option. I can looking through through the Google images of Capsilon, see a healthy Capsilon recipe which has potatoes instead of chips. I mean, who am I kidding? This just doesn't sound as nice. But then chicken and ice fill it. Also, it's not that much healthier if you're having potatoes.

Still potatoes. Yeah, and then there's lots of cheese and lettuce and tomato. So yeah, it's essentially the same with potatoes. Yeah. Right, we've got to help them out here because we've done too much of dog clarky. Help us out. I would say, try and keep the treats to the weekend.

That's what I try and do. With the drinking and the treats, I don't always do it. I quite frequently don't, but it means your weekends are better because you're like, hey, we made it and you're just kind of, oh, we can't because it's a week there. You start to just roll, roll it out a little bit. Yeah, I think set yourself certain days. Well, what about though?

What about giving yourself Wednesday and Saturday? So then it's not a big gap between them. Two, two, three days a week, you know. Then you got, you know, when it's Saturday, you won't feel quite so bad about when it gets like Monday or Tuesday I've gone, we can't have a chocolate box. You know, I can have it on Wednesday. Yeah, Wednesday's another.

Oh, it's done. I'm not talking about chocolate bars. I'm just saying, don't wake. Oh, wait till the weekends, I'm a fucking chocolate bar. I'm talking about the capsule on me. You're talking about a capsule on and five boxes of chocolates. That's it. Two boxes of wine. You know what as well, I've just started thinking about, I think you could do sweet capsule on. You know what?

Oh, what are you doing? You're not sick. You're not sick. You're not sick. If you go to Franco Manca, they basically manage to get away of like selling you a pizza three times when they sell you the pizza. They say the garlic bread, which is exactly the same size and shape as the pizza,

but you're just, you know, with garlic on it. And then they sell you the, basically pizza dough with like Nutella on the top of it. You go, I've just eaten three pizzas in it. I was supposed to be doing a gig in 20 minutes. I can't eat three pizzas. I'm slid on the table and I think I can come back up. And the first person definitely carried out

of a Franka manca. But yeah, like, I feel like you could do. You definitely could. What thoughts or pancakes the base maybe? Exactly, like waffle at the bottom, you know, it would have, it would probably have an element of like ice cream, melted chocolate, marshmallows, like melted marshmallows for the kind of good cheese type thing.

Yeah, I feel like that's how you do it. So, and then like, So then we're going to shave, shave, shavings of chocolate, white chocolate shavings on the top to be like the iceberg lettuce and the, and the onion. Yes. And then maybe like, like, red fruit pastels with tomatoes.

Oh yeah, yeah. Or if you want to be healthy, like raspberries. Yeah. If you like, you know, yeah, so it's a healthy meal. So to heck, actually, it's basically a smoothie. It's basically a protein shake. So raspberries are the top. And I defy you not to want to run a half marathon after eating them.

I mean, have we been in any way helpful here? Um, I mean, lead into it, just enjoy it. They certainly don't aren't alone. Yes, that's very true. I think that's very true. And actually, I would recommend couch to 5K because it is very friendly and nice. Yeah, I think that's the thing with exercise as well, because I think a lot of people, they go hard early.

Yeah. And then it's so off-putting. Yeah. You can build up, you know, don't hurt yourself. Don't go to the point where you hate it. Yeah, and see if you absolutely regret it. It's like starting a relationship, like you shouldn't like move in together immediately.

You've got to kind of... Exactly, exactly. I mean, they literally did say they just moved in immediately. Like, don't necessarily use that as an analogy because they say we moved in immediately and it really has worked out for us. It's been the best year of our life. It's been the best year of our life, of course it is.

It's been the best and last year of our life. LAUGHTER I'm actually coming out with an app. I'm gonna do the 5K to capsule on, which is I'm slowly gonna decrease the amount I'm running and increase the amount of chips I'm eating. Yeah, I think that's it. I think something simple, like don't expect it to all happen at once.

Yeah. Maybe that's it. You decrease, so at the moment you're doing seven days a week of indulgence, knock it down to six and do one day when you run for 20 minutes. Yeah. Not to wait, I mean, 20 minutes is a lot to start with, but yeah, you run for five minutes. That's it. Or so, you know, like a bit of yoga, you can just loads of nice,

nice 10 minute yoga stretches. And there are definitely yoga postures that you can still eat in. Yes. You can have the calaton. Get yourself a palaton and that little screen, just flip it into a tray, pop the calaton on top. And your barely the calories,

palaton to cut the top. It's the same company guys. We do a capsule on, we do like a capsule on, we'll market it and it's like a table and chair with a screen on it and it's just one of us three just talking people through a meal. Come on now guys, let's get it down yet. Yeah, you're forks. I like that. Up, down, get it in your face. If you want it to be healthy, add some raspberries. I think we've helped. I feel like we've helped. I feel that's beef solved. So, Izzy, you obviously live with your kids, you live with Alice James, a friend of the show. Have you got a beef with any of them that you want to deal with on the show now?

Yeah, it's quite a simple thing actually. Alice won't throw away any jaws or Bottles of things so he'll use he only uses blue Raydox So he'll use blue radots till there's like an inch left and then instead of using all and putting in the recycling He just gets a new blue redox out of the cuba because he buys them in bulk and starts that one and Sometimes there are five bottles of blue radocks all with like hard gay after the bottom and he won't throw them away. And the same thing goes for like I don't really eat jam and he eats a lot of strawberry jam and the same thing happens with jam. So he's got this habit of yeah waiting until it's nearly finished.

So he's a he's a redox and jam kind of guy. Is he like a pensioner from the 80s? Because I don't know anybody. Like what? What's this guy? He eats a lot of jam. Yeah, he also eats drinks. Both of us do now because I've been influenced by him,

loads of orange squash, and he does the same thing with the squash, which again, he's like a pet, just from the 80s, and we've also got really into eating quiche. Oh, I love a bit of quiche. Yeah, so what you do is give him a bowl. No, he doesn't. He doesn't do it with the quiche, but that's because I do all the cooking and cleaning in exchange for him doing the early mornings with the kids.

Of course. As previously discussed on parenting lockdown. So that's our deal. Yeah. But because the kids get up later, because they're sleeping better these days, because the pandemic has been going on for so long, my quality of cooking and cleaning has deteriorated, because otherwise, I'm putting in loads and loads of effort and he's actually only getting up like half an hour earlier than me. So I've started doing things like buying

Keish and being like, that's your lunch. And you dinner. Yeah. Is there a, is there a, is there a beach and jam again? Yes, I've been covering jam if you don't like it. Is there an argument to possibly sit down and renegotiate the contract? Yes, I think we should. I feel like that's the bigger question here. If you're deliberately doing a bad job cleaning the house that you also have to live in, if you're going back to your I can't see dirt days, maybe maybe you need to say to Alice I tell you what the four-two weekends or you know I'll do I'll do every other day or something like that and you can actually start picking up the whoever wants in a while and running around the place

but I know the reason because with the red eyes that's fair that's. It is a tricky one. I think the only thing that I can relate to Elis on this with is things like ketchup and mayonnaise bottles. I'm very bad with those because they get very hard. Yes. Yeah. They get very hard to get it out of. And I'm like, well, I'm not going to throw it away because I still some in there. But then I start a new one. So it's like, well, I'm not going to throw it away because there's still some in there. But then I start a new one. So it's like, well, what's your game here? And now what you mean? And the story on its side in the fridge, don't you? And it doesn't, it's not the bottom.

Yeah, it's not in the right place. Yeah. So it's not ready to go next time you want to either. And it's a terrible habit. I'm willing to admit. I admit that I do that too. Right. I'm no angel. I just think five bottles of Ray Docks. I mean that too. Right. I'm no angel.

I just think five bottles of Ray Docks. I mean, that is insane. And also, the great thing with Ray Docks is, or anything like that. You put some water in and where you go. And also, it's all at the bottom. Why would you start on its side? You're not having to cram it into, well, unless you've got very you've got very limited space we do have to put all our bottles on the windowsill there's enough room for them all to sit up right right so it's all at the bottom anyway it's not

like the catch up it doesn't go weird and hard at the end it's just radars yeah so what is his what is his eventual game plan that he's going to get enough small amounts to fill a whole bottle? Is that what he's going to do? And sort of, is he going to count them or is he just, like, just lost this bloody mind? I think he doesn't, like, there's definitely no plan. It's just that in the same way as I didn't use to see dirt, I think he doesn't see.

I see. He doesn't see the number of bottles that were racing. What would happen do you think though? And I'm not saying clean up after him because we've already said that that's, you know, we've got to renegotiate that. But what do you think would happen if you were to take all of those bottles and just chuck them in the recycling?

Do you think he'd go, oh, my radio-ox collection, what have you done? Or do you think he wouldn't notice? I don't think he'd notice. As long as there was a radio-ox available, I think I could probably decant them all into one. Yeah because you don't want to be thrown away. That's tricky. That's a decent radiox but that should be good. That's creating a lot of work. Yeah. I know it's very tricky ones I don't want to start doing that and then that becomes another thing. Yeah. I think you've

got to go on that to be the thing. You've got to go Matthew on this. Okay. You've got to leave him in his bed. I know that's also your bed, but on his side. On his side. So that's even on the bedside table. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, make them his problem. Okay. Yeah, bedside table is great actually, because that's his space, you know? That's his space and his space alone. Okay. Yeah, it better say it was great actually, like, because that's his space, you know, that's his space and his space alone. Yeah, your bedside table. That's where you keep your stuff, right? No one else is using that. If you start saying, well, look, you're encroaching on the area, start building a tower of red up muscles on the bedside table. Let make the problem his problem. Okay. I'm going to do it.

Because at the moment, he's the moment he's not acknowledging it. I was just thinking could I know this is a... Could I squeeze it all out into the bed if that was a word? I mean you could, I mean you could. I mean you could. I mean you could, you actually do a layer of jam on the top of the dude. It would be like that, that meal. It would be like a capsule on.

Yeah. You're gonna make a capsule on where, instead of the chips, there's a mattress. And instead of the good cheese, there's radocks. And then iceberg lettuce is jam. Yeah. I mean, it still makes me feel. We've got orange squash.

Sticky squash in there, yeah. Just, what your base is in a squash on the pillow? You there, yeah. Just, what you're basically doing, squash on the pillow. You're doing a Julian McEath to him, aren't you? You're going, that is the muck your life consists of. Look at it, it's disgusting. I mean, I know he's not eating the radocks, but yeah, I think squirt the remaining radocks

into his side of the bed. Make sure you've got a nice little, like, I don't know if you've got lots of cushions or bed, make sure you've got a nice little, like if you've got lots of cushions or whatever, make sure you've got a nice load of cushions and be like between the two sides. So it's very clear that that is for his side. He can't just, you know, roll it over and see how he deals with it.

Who do you think he's gonna react to the U-squirt letter? Redox in his bed. I don't think he'd like it. No, I think that's going to react to you squirtle. He's not going to react to you squirtle. He's not going to react to you squirtle. He's not going to react to you squirtle. He's not going to react to you squirtle. He's not going to react to you squirtle. He's not going to react to you squirtle. He's not going to react to you squirtle. He's not going to react to you squirtle.

He's not going to react to you squirtle. He's not going to react to you squirtle. He's not going to react to you squirtle. He's not going to react to you squirtle. He's not going to react to you squirtle. He's not going to react to you squirtle. He's not going to react to you squirtle. He's not going to react to you squirtle.

He's not going to react to you squirtle. He's not going to react to you squirtle. He's not going to react to you squirtle. He's not going to react to you squirtle. He's not going to react to you squirtle. He's not going to react to you squirtle. He's not going to react to you squirtle. He's not going to react to you squirtle. He's not going to react to you squirtle. He's not going to react to you squirtle. He's not going to react to you squirtle. He's not going to react to you squirtle. It's the princess and the red ox bath.

So you think you'd notice if he slept in it, if he laid down and there was all red ox on him, but it has to happen. It's tough love. Well also, red ox, that blue red ox has got very strong smell. I don't know what of, like sort of blurry, isn it? Yeah, blue, it does smell, it smells of blue. That is the only way you can, and there's no way he wouldn't notice the smell before he even pulled the duvet back. But what if he said, what if he walked in and went, oh, this room smells lovely? Well, he mikes, he loves blue,

it's the only shower girl he use. It's meant to be relaxing, that's the red ox, that's what it's there for when you're supposed to relax you. It's meant to be relaxing. That's the Raydox, that's what it's there for. It's supposed to relax you. It's kind of the best night's sleep of his life. It will. It'll be like having a laugh under the pillow. It's like a Roman therapy mixed with a kind of

flotation tank. It's just, it's gonna, and then you've got a situation where he can't get sleep unless he's got Raydox. So there's not only gonna be Raydox in the bedroom, there's gonna be Raydox in the bedroom, in the bathroom there's going to be red in the bedroom, and all the empty pots all around him. I think you're... I think you might be great with more of a problem.

I say just go bottles. Yeah, just bottles on the bedside table. Bottle's on the bedside table or bottles in the bed, and just, yeah. And see how you can... Bokey's on the bedpost bottle on the bedside table. The Izzy Sotty Story. Be sure. I could start doing the bogey thing again, Yeah, and see how he's on the bedpost bottle on the bedside table. Is he such a story? I could start doing the bogie thing again until he stops doing it.

So if a bedside table thing doesn't work, I'll be like, okay. Do you think this is the, isn't that more likely to lead to him walking out? Yeah, and then I have no one to do the mornings with the kids. Exactly. You're picking your nose despite your face there, aren't you? Is he, thank you so much for coming on the show. Tell us about your book before you go. Sure. It's about a girl who can't stop picking her nose. She's trying to stop. It's about a game. can't stop picking her nose. I know. She's trying to stop. It's about a... It's good to have you.

You're trying to deal with one hand, didn't you? Yes. Sending the manuscripts into the publisher, why is there blood all over the pages? I've really got a problem. Oh, fuck. It's all blood and silverfish. It's all blood and silverfish.

You're going over the pages. Yeah. Oh, that would be such a weird... It's so open and underfish, you're all over the pages. Yeah. All that would be such a weird, if someone opened an envelope and they were like, bogus and the creatures in there, it'd be so weird. Why would it be an envelope? It's not the kind of thing that I would have put past myself to try and impress a boy when I was like a bit older than the age that I created the Boga mountain up. But I'm older now, I'm not going to do that. That's not how you use

a GCLS. No, it's not. It's not. It's not sitting to be your who discovers that her boyfriend's been cheating on her and moves back in with her parents and then lots of things happen to her and she has to kind of get her life back together. I sounds great. Thanks. And is it out now? It's out now. It's ready for now.

So our listeners can go to wherever they would get their books from and get it. Yes, please bite us. It's called Jane is trying. And she's got, she's anxious about a lot of things, but I think it's very light-hearted really. So it deals with some serious issues. It's serious, it shows about mental health, but at the same time it's a lot of laughs as well.

A lot of the way. That's good. Well there you go, cross there you can read a fiction. I will. I will read that. Yes, that's my journey back into fiction. Yes. My people I know, great. It's almost like you're reading a factual book. Exactly. I lost so you know that loads of it. It's like you can't really read fiction by anyone and not, especially when

it's somebody who's written it, I often go, oh, that's blatantly so-and-so, that's blatantly so-and-so. I think even Philip Pullman or people who write really science fiction stuff, I think a lot of it's like, that's actually Marion from Next Door. That dragon is the same as Sam and Jerry. Do you think that was happening to like CS Lewis and stuff where like his next name was going as well, is it me? Is it based on me? I love the idea. Is that war drive meant to be me?

Tell me I'm not the witch. Come on, Mr. Tumna's police. Please give me that. Come on, I've got these backwards legs. Surely it's me. This has been so much fun. It's been so lovely having you on the show. I really enjoyed it. Thank you. It's a pleasure. Be from the starting of your business! Well, well, well, I love the app. Wasn't it just? It was really lovely. I mean, Izzy is not only one of the funniest and most talented people I know. She's also one of the best people I know. She's just lovely. She's just a great person.

And I love hanging out with her. And I mean, I don't know if this word made the edit, but I still... I'm still feeling guilty. We recorded this yesterday, and I'm still feeling guilty about calling her mama, Twatt. I do feel bad. I really feel bad, because even as a joke, even a joke we kind of set up in quite a big way. It's still, I was, you know, this morning, and I was having a shower, I was thinking,

oh, I wish that could be kind. But yeah, he's wonderful? Ellis is obviously a problem. I was thinking do you think Ellis is so obsessed with Ray Dox? Because it reminds him of his previous job on Ray Dox Ray D.R. X. Okay well that was a lovely episode so his previous job on radiox, radiox. Okay, well that was a lovely episode. So, um.

It was a good episode. Speaking of good episodes, we've had a message in from Jane at beefbrotherspodcast at gmail.com. Do get in touch if you'd like to send your beefs or any comments you have about the episodes we're putting out, beefbrotherspodcast at gmail.com. You're mostly nice ones, but sure. Well, no, we'll take them all, we just won't necessarily read them out.

Greetings, Pappy's dear. I very much enjoyed listening to your recent podcast with Alison Spittel, while we enjoyed recording it. I initially wanted to get in touch to give my support to Crosby's gravy bread and urge anyone listening to try it. There's little I enjoy more than mopping up the last scraps of gravy bread, and urge anyone listening to try it. There's little I enjoy more than mopping up the last scraps of gravy's, soups, stews, or really any sauce-based meal with a nice piece of buttered bread. I believe it cuts down on the

need to rinse by ensuring said sauce is consumed as nature intended and not shamefully wasted by being washed down the sink. However, I was shocked and appalled by cross-bisoned mission of pouring additional gravy on the other side of the bread. You should be fully ashamed of yourself. Cheers everyone by Jane. Front name is only. But here's the thing Jane, I am.

I am. I am. Well, no, I've got, I've got, I've got beef with Jane here because I never said buttered bread. She's buttering the bread. You're already getting gravy. Why do you need butter as well? That's great.

It's a dry piece of, like, you know, you wouldn't butter a non, would you? You don't need to. It's there to soak up. I'm not that you've said it. Actually now I'd like a buttered non. Oh my God. Well, I was gonna ask this as well.

Would you do butter on with capsulon on top? That's what we're after. That's the dream. Two slice of non with capsulon in the middle. Yeah, go on, would I do it with a currant? With capsillon on top. That's what we're after. That's the dream. Two slice of nar with capsillon in the middle. Yeah, go on, would I do it with a curry? Yeah. I mean, you could do if you didn't have any non-bread left over.

Yeah, you definitely want to, don't you? I'm not supposed to have to have to have the non-safety. That's the non-safety. That's the care of. So I think, I think, yeah, I think any source-based meal, but I'm blown away by the need to make the bread, to moisten the bread before you moisten it further. That's but I'm blown away by the need to make the bread, to

moisten the bread before you moisten it further. That's why I'm pouring gravy on the top because it's a purity to a slice of dry bread soaked entirely in gravy. That is pure. It gets me right where it's pure, I'll say that much. So thanks for listening everybody and do get in touch. Be for other'spodcast at gmail.com. If you have a beef, you would like to,

you'd like to share on the podcast. If you enjoy Izzy's Suti and you wanna hear more, get to the Patreon because there is bonus footage of Izzy solving a completely, a beef that has not been, has not included in any way on the main feed. It's a fact. And it's a fact in bonus beef as well. It's a really, really, really good bonus beef.

So you want to listen to that. You want to mop that up with your earbread. You want to mop it up with your earbread guys. Right. We'll see you next time for a house meeting, but until then. Oh. This episode was produced by Emma Corsum. Corsum team!

Cheers everyone! Bye! We're pleeeesing you! Please be a fan of... ...Nemo's's roll coo! Bleep up, even nibbunwak! Mkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk now. Oh, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, tell me all about it. She's got a nice front and she's got a nice back. It's Salimack. Well, let me tell you, let me tell you this right now. Oh, yeah. He's got to go just glow. He's got to go just glow to him. He's got to go gorgeous glow. It's Darryl and Slow. Let me tell you now, you can find this person in heaven. You ain't never gonna find him in hell.

It's crystal. Oh, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you So, let me tell you that. She don't go slow. She don't go slow. She got a great, well they got a great pace. Yep. They got a great pace. It's a rotated out face. Rotated out face. So, let me tell you now, be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you're telling you now. Well, he moves, moves just like mysterious ways.

He moves just like a big old fish. Oh, he moves, he's wriggling and jiving. Oh, he moves, just like a big old fish. Where the big old fin, where hell, of course it does. It's Peter Gwyn. Peter Gwyn. Peter Gwyn, I don't mind it. We have course does is Peter Gwen Peter Gwen I don't mind it. I let me tell you now Emu's just like the cat at the antelope not the cantelope he moves you like a cantelope he rolling down

He keep rolling rolling rolling rolling just like the cantelope he moves like He got the moves like cantelope. He's got the moves like cantaloupe. He's got the move. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, it's like cantaloupe. And I can tell you that now, it's a lot of fun. It's Luke Williamson. Oh, you, oh, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you.

Oh, you, you, you, you, you, you, you. Well, he, he's stubborn. He's stubborn, all right. He's stubborn, all right. He's stubborn, still no right. He's got ahead just like a block Well of course she does is that their graham's silk Oh I'm gonna have to take a bit of a run up on this surname. I'm not gonna lie to you right now. Oh That's a doozy. Okay, let me just I'm gonna have to take a bit of a run up on this surname. I'm not gonna lie to you right now. Oh, that's a doozy. Okay, let me just I'm gonna I'm I'm apologizing in advance for any misappropriation and mispronunciation that I might do for this Oh, he's a

He's a fan fellow. You see him at a buffet. He'll have a bit of that. He'll have a bit of this. He is of course Adam Collop-Cidotis Do you know what? That would feel good boy. That would be really good. Now, I apologize at me if I if I butchered your name But I know you do like a buffet. Well my boy here. Well, you got them long arms. Oh, I like them long. Oh, you got them long arms. Long arms. It good for putting things up in shells. Good. Tickling. But it looks just like a given. Oh, baby. You look like a given. Oh, you look like a game and ten you consider it's Chris Gibson Chris Gibson looks like a given with his long

Let me tell you yeah, you know, he can tap you on the shoulder from three people away Yeah, you know, he can tap you on the shoulder from three people away. You got no long. Oh, yeah. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, my God. He could pick a giant snow. He got those long. Oh, what?

Drop him. He's down that tree. Come on. Hey, he's got those thin long. You got them, baby. You got Mr. Tickle. Boy, you have to do the la la, do the do. Go straight round to you, man.

Don't you worry about that. Now, me tell you this guy's got them long Yeah, yeah, he's got them long legs. He could kick God in the face. He's got them long He can do the split across county line. He got them long legs, limitary now. And those long legs, the kind of legs I like. And his name is Mike. Oh, that's right. Oh, let me tell you. Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum Long arms. I've been talking about them for years now. She got them long arms. Oh, yeah. She's got them long arms. Them long arms. Look just like a cable. They look like a cable. Oh, come on over here. So feeable. Come on, so feeable. Come on, so feeable. My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my All on your brother, everybody get together to try to love on another ride now.

That concludes the Patreon neighborhood watch roll call, Be Up. Well, well, you've been real good, Spokshaws listen, long, and to us boys just talking into that can. I'm good old boy talking to you again. Oh yeah. Yeah. I'm good old boy talking to you again. Oh yeah. YEEHOP!