Pappy's Flatshare - Beef Brothers Cold Cuts w/ Janine Harouni S11E42

Episode Date: October 18, 2021

The Beef Brothers are here to sort out your beef with special guest Janine HarouniJanine Harouni - https://twitter.com/janineharouniPappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetIf you have a flatshare based beef you'd like us to solve then send it to [e-mail] us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareProduced by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greetings, listener dear! I'm Tom, I'm Ben, and I'm Matthew and welcome to an episode of Papi's Flat Share Beef Brothers Cold Cuts with our special guest, Jeanine Harune. Oh, there you go. It's not a concise title, is it? You know when you hear it out loud. It doesn't trip off the tongue, does it? It's more a sentence than a title. Yeah, it's a paragraph in itself. Someone asked me the other day about our podcast. Oh yeah. And like, so what's it like, what's the stuff that you do?

Trying to concisely explain what it is. Sounded like I didn't know what we did. LAUGHTER Go and talk us through it. We slowly explained what it is. Sounded like I didn't know what we did. LAUGHTER Go and talk us through it. What did you imagine? Well, imagine I'm your pal. Your inquisitive pal, who 11 years down the line, I decided to finally take an interest in the podcast you do.

Yeah. Well, there's not a good way to do it, is there? It's not really about his podcast. So you did a podcast, that's interesting. What's it? What, how does it work? What's it it all about it's sort of a game show panel show type thing but like to but like it but that isn't that isn't most of it that's like one of the things we do but that's like the main one is that one but that isn't

the most one that we do like most type it's just as chatting but not the then we have guests so we chat we guest we have guests in the panel show and but like basically every week we try and do like a different thing. So sometimes we are just talking, sometimes we're reading emails, sometimes it's this like I said, like this, this, this like panel show. And then we also do like this, like, for just our like members, we do like another one where again we are just chatting all reading a game that's actually but with that I guess it's kind of like we've been doing it for like 11 years

sorry can I just ask what is a podcast son were they still there by the end of the sentence I mean I didn't feel like I was there by the end of the sentence. I kind of came to on the tube. Whoa, bloody elf. I got my way home. Did you just stand up and started making it and help them out? You were only a sandwich board.

It's just, there's no, there's no, there's no clean way to do it really. No, there isn't, there isn't. And so that's why, that's why we thank our listeners for joining us. Every episode we're delighted that we still have listeners because it's a confusing thing you're entering into. It's a confusing contract that you, that you, the listener, dear and us have embarked upon.

We can't explain it. You can't explain it. We've had emails telling people, you know, from listeners saying, I try to explain it to my friends, I can't explain anybody. Well that's it, that's what I was going to get to. Like, we ask listeners to, you know, if you enjoy it, tell your friends, God, that's a hospital pass. We can't ask people to do that anymore, because I just tried it and it's fucking solid. I'd say,

if you are going to, like, what you want to do is just book an Airbnb have a long weekend Bring a group of like you know bring a group of friends together and then spend over the course of the weekend Yeah, try and explain make sure you have like a flip chart Have some have some graphs prepared. Yeah, if it helps one of us will show up and help you out with it. We can turn that into a podcasting book. Not me. I've given it a fair start but I failed miserably. We should mention the Patreon of course. If you like us, don't know what this is, but want more of it, then join our Patreon.com forward slash

Pappy's Flatshare. By the way, it's great to be back on the intros so I can actually explain what the Patreon is and where to find it. I was listening to the last episode and you were like, oh, I don't know, just type Pappy's into Google and you're like, it's like I was screaming. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was screaming at my phone. It might have just been my phone, but I called Tom. But yeah, patreon.com forward slash papi's flat share, it should be in the show notes as well. If you want to get to the Patreon. Yeah, it's really worth it as well because there's actually a couple of extra formats that are only on the page.

And it's just briefly take you through those. This entire episode is a weekend long and it's just Clarky trying to explain what their flat share lockdown is. Don't worry guys, if anyone's really getting into flat share lockdown, we are going to change the name soon. Just to stop any real fan base developing. That's the plan we're chosen to name that as well. name soon, just to stop any real fan base developing. The plan which you've got, you've got to really take the momentum out of things. That's what we've learned over time. So yes, so welcome to this beef brothers cold cuts. We had a very nice chat with with Janine, who is if you've not seen

before, she's a fantastic stand up,, she's a brilliant actor, performer. She's just great. And we had real fun chatting to her and solving your beef. If you have a beef you'd like us to solve, please do get in touch. We're going to be recording some of these very, very soon. And we need some new beefs for the upcoming episodes. So it's beefbrotherspodcastactgmail.com, send us your beefs today. Or, you know, just go to Google, type in papi's and press send.

And press, you click, click send on the Google. Yeah, and well, enjoy the episode. And we'll see you on the other side for more describing. Well, if you've got a problem, I'm calling a problem. If you've got a problem, call it a B. If you've got a B, maybe we can help you be from the sorting I can be. Hi, guys.

Janine, thank you so much for coming on the show. Thank you for having me. It's a total pleasure. I said to you're alone in the house, but what's your normal set up? What's your normal flatmate set up? I live with my husband. You live with your husband? Very traditional.

What exactly? God's happy with that, sir. As my father arranged, yes. I have become the property of Andrew Nolan. Well, congratulations to you both. Thank you. What are you like to live with? What are you like to live with? What's he like to live with? I'm a dream and I cause no problems at all

and he's a nightmare. Okay, talk us through it. Talk us through it. I think I'm a pretty easygoing person to live with and Andrew leaves the stove top on overnight on a regular basis. Oh man. He did a last night.

When you walk into the kitchen and it's baking, is that what, like, that's the thing, is it just, it just heats up the entire kitchen. It just means that you're walking into like a sauna. And when you, when you're costume about this, what does he say? First of all, I don't have a costume. We're in couples therapy. I present him. I present him with my problem because any problem you have is your problem according to Linda

or therapist. Okay. I mean, it's also the problem. I mean, it is objectively a problem as well if you leave in the stove. Oh, no. Like the police are going after him. If this shit burns down. But according to Linda, it's my brown lump.

Oh my god, that would drive me fucking insane. You know what, I like it, you see, I think that would work very well for me. Because I'm renowned for leaving the oven on. Do you have a gas or an electric hob? That's the question, because... Yeah, flames. Do you have a gas or an electric hob? That's the question because yeah flames flames That's me Raw flames Yeah, so this thing is you think you would see it or smell it or even hear it because lots of the senses are lit up here with this

oven and yet no You are you out at this point though? Yeah or or I trust him enough to think he could heat up soup. There's your first mistake you see again I'm with you therapist. That's on you. He is cooking for you then is it? He's up. Oh no no. This was soup for himself. He had a bad gig and he thought I'm going to have some warm soup and he thought he fucked up. Do you think his subconscious was going, the gig was so bad I'm going to burn the house down?

I think it's possible. It was part, it was an element of self sabotage there that he thought, if you call for the house down, a gig, you've got to do it. I have had gigs like that so I feel for him. I can't blame him for that. Yeah, the kind of gigs we wear on his soap will do and only destroying the house will do. Did you have to factor in the fact that he'd had a bad gig with how you addressed the fact that he'd left the stove on? Did you soften the blow? Yeah, and also he's up in Manchester right now doing beat the frog and it was like you, you know, a four-hour train

to get up there. He's having to stay overnight and to the train back down. So I was just like, maybe there's some sort of a device we could buy that would alert us to the fact that the stove is on, you know, like your head. Yeah, so he's turning the stove on and he's fucking off to Manchester and when are you discovering this? You know, if I wasn't here, it would be days later. Today it was hours later.

And the dogs were here. The poor little dogies were there as well. Do you think he was trying to murder either you or the dogs? I mean, you would never murder the dogs me. I'm afraid. He could get away with it. Oh my god. Do we know for a fact the dogs didn't leave the gas on?

They were so small. They couldn't. They started to work together on each of the children's work. Yeah, there's two of them. Yeah, yeah. There would be a trench coat scenario as they teamed up. They would be, good boy. Yeah, yeah. They would be a trench coat scenario as they teamed up. They would be a good boy. Look at this. Well, I mean obviously the listeners can't but it's a very good

job. Listen, listen, listen to this, listen to this dog here. Well, we'll just, we'll just give a couple of seconds now to have a bit of wild dog audio if we can. Yeah. And just for the listeners to imagine a dog. There you go. Oh, that's a dog there, guys. That is a dog. There is no doubting it. And we should say because you told us this before we started recording.

Not even your dogs. Your husband has such a trustworthy face that someone found him through Facebook and said, oh, why don't you look after it? Not a friend, but somebody who sort of knew him, why don't you look after the dogs? And yeah, he's got a trustworthy face, but we know from just the tiny bit of evidence you've given us, possibly the least trustworthy person living in the country. Yeah, yeah, he's an arsonist. Did you say this to people who wanted to loan you the dogs? Did you say, look, I'm installing the dogs. Like, they're doing this dogs back.

Look at this face. Come on. I mean, we still can't see that face. Imagine this face. Imagine this face. Just listen to that dog's face, if you will. Listen to't see that face. Imagine his face. Imagine that's easier. Just listen to that dog's face if you will. Listen to that dog's face. Be from the starting of your beef! Right, shall we crack on with doing some of our listeners beef? Let's, we can't solve the pan, the harb even.

So let's crack on with some listeners beef. I thought that was you who referred to the pandemic then. We can't solve the pan guys. We can solve some of your bips. If anybody is listening to this hoping that that's what we're about to do, sort this bloody mess out, then I'm afraid you're gonna be sorely disappointed.

No, you can just... Also, just to call it the pan, like, the pan, just say, the pan. I don't mind that actually. I quite like it. How's the pantry in your man, the big pan? You remember the big pan of 2021? A pan of jandos.

We're all living in the pan of jandos, yeah. Well, I mean, if you've got any solutions, Janine, that you want to throw out there, that you think might be, might solve this whole thing, what's in for all? The pandemic. Yeah, yeah. It's the same as a fair question.

Let's give it a try, because you know what, I haven't spent a lot of time thinking about how to solve it. That's true, actually. We haven't really put our full intellectual weight behind it. And I'm sure- And if there's one thing the pandemic taught us is that we're all sharing a flat and that flat is this earth. Oh my god, I got it actually. Are you a flat earth?

Yes, he's one talking flat. Finally, somebody speaking our language. Yes. Oh, that earth slammed down. Yes, police. Oh, that earth slammed down, yes, police. LAUGHTER Have the flat earth has gone a bit quiet recently? Because surely they're all just segwayed into anti-vaxxers, right?

Yeah, it feels like I've been... Surely, I've been... I bet the Venn diagram there is healthy. Let's just say that. It's nice just one circle. Let's just say... They've just made new signs, haven't they circle. So just made new signs haven't they? They've just made new signs and headed out.

And once the anti-vaxxing things over, flat earth will be back in the mix. Tom, I really like the idea of some walking down the street with a placard with the earth is flat, crossed out. And they're just like no vaccines, no masks. Just really, like it's there. They've only got the one placard. They've got the one placard. No vaccines, no masks. Just really need to be there. Like it's there. The one you got the one black on.

Well, let's find out if our first beef is from a flat earther. Do you want to do yours first? I know, so be I know. The awesome. Try not a fan, famously, not it. Has he joined the Patreon Toilet or Flattern? Okay, here we go. So this is from someone called Day. I'm already suspicious.

Right. Hello to your sound emitters. Is that normal of your fans? No, that's a day's choice there, that one. Okay. Hello's my dear sound emitters. I only joined the Patreon a few weeks ago so I'm still catching up on the Beyond Generous amount of lockdown content. I only wished I joined earlier so I could have joined in the fun from day one. This sounds like you guys wrote this. I've talked to a few of these because

people were being nice about the Patreon. So every message starts with a little thing I've got to a few of these because people were being nice about the Patreon. So every message starts with a little thing I've ruined myself. We'll cut out the bit right where I've invested this, but yeah, I've written the first paragraph of all of the emails we're reading on this episode. Because not enough people are bigging up the Patreon. Basically, by the way, I've not read on, I don't know what this beef is. But if you say, if you say, So good things about the Patreon in the first paragraph, you're guaranteed to be on the pod. That's the way it works. Anyway, by the way, I think that every choice has been fantastic so far.

Soundamitters great. Join the Patreon great. Say nice things about it, even greater. Janine. Alright, okay, I'm not sure if you've dealt with a beast's mind before. So, didn't join the Patreon, but has sent you an e-battle about a beast they had. So I'm not sure if you dealt with a beast of mine before. It would have been, should my spouse let me stay in my house while her girlfriend is visiting. Yeah, we dealt with that one. We dealt with that one, but this is actually another good.

Let's just say, today has an interesting life. I'm super confused. What one, but this is actually another good. Let's just say, three day has an interesting life. I'm sick of use. What does Dave mean to me? The day is in an open relationship. His wife has a girlfriend. She will often come over to stay. Dave wants to stay in the house while they're there. They obviously don't want him to be there.

They want him to go out. But he's like, I'll keep myself to myself. I don't mind, doesn't bother me. This was the problem. They found himself in last time around. It was a good problem. It's a good problem. It was a good problem to have.

It's not what we mean, but yeah, that, listen, it's very modern. Our list is a very modern journey. I have never heard someone refer to their wife as their spouse unless they're like, each day sounds like an alien pretending to be a human being. Was it dear sound amateurs that gave it away? It was the fact that they liked our podcast. It's the opposite of AI, it's artificial stupidity. Somebody is faking of being a podcast fan.

I'll carry on. When Carrie and I first moved in together in 2011, we made an agreement that if we got any pets, I would do most of the work, but because I am a bit of a phobic, because I am a bit phobic of who we vomit and the like, everyone, no one likes that stuff. Well, you know, we don't appreciate it. Our listeners are very modern, okay. Our listeners are very modern. If our listeners like to roll around in dog shit, then it makes a lot of sense why they listen to this podcast.

To your dear equivalent, you're pet's mark. We should call this the litter tray. That's what it should be. Okay, so today is phobic of who we vomit and the lake. I think that's the trifecta. I don't know what else they're called. That's the holy Trinity. I would say as well, like looking after a pet,

just a big bit of that is, yeah, yeah. We were all thinking it's on. A big big of that is, yeah, yeah. We were all thinking it's on. I think looking after a pet is mostly we in poo and vomit and other fluids, right? Isn't it? That's what I've got. Why don't you fluid?

Well, in my cat's case, eye gunk. Oh, my, the eye gunk. The eye gunk, so yeah. So, you know, a lot of it is going to be, you know, that's like looking after a baby. I don't know if you can go, I'll look after the pet except I won't do any of the poo, we vomit stuff. Because what are you doing? What are you doing?

You're just stroking the pet then. You're just putting out some food and you're doing all the good, the fun stuff and you're giving your partner all of the crap stuff to do. I think that you can't do that with the good, the fun stuff and you're giving your partner all the crap stuff today. I think that you can't do that with the pet, but you can do that with the baby. If you're the one who carried the baby, like so, in my, I'm in a straight relationship. When I, if someone I have a child, I'm not ever changing a diaper. I'm not cleaning up any moment. I grew this thing inside of me and couldn't drink for over a year.

I don't know, I won't be be sick to be born. I don't know. I'm doing research. It's a little over a year, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. About 18 months if you're growing twins, yeah. Yeah. I'm not doing any of the nasty stuff. It's literally shitting inside me. I think again, I haven't done any of the research. Oh! So there's no way! I think you need to read a book, Jenny, first before you do any of it.

But also as well, you know what? It seems gross when you first get a baby you think, oh this is going to be a tricky bit or the poo and the vomit. And after a while you just don't even think about it. It stops being gross. Like, I don't, you know, if I saw, like, if I saw a nappy full of poo in the street, I'd find it absolutely disgusting. But I deal with them every single day,

and I don't regret or think about it. It's totally fine. You don't, it's something about it. It's just, the- Because it's your baby. Yeah. It's a bit like with yourself though, surely. Like, I don't, you know, exactly.

They're a bit of a deal with yourself and it's fine. I was working from away from home for about two months and before I went, we've got, well, she was nine month old daughter at the time. And I said to Jane, I said, look, I'll change one last nape before I have to get in the car in about 20 minutes. I have to change one last napay before I have to get in the car in about 20 minutes. I have to change one last napay, it's the least I can do. So I went upstairs and I just, on a gut feeling, assumed she hadn't pooed. You know what you get a vibe, you kind of go like this is, and so I thought I'd do it on the bed, it's always more fun to do it on the bed than on the changing

table. What did I turn that as a big poo, panics, tried to get to the nappy table, pooed again. I got to the nappy table, changed the nappy, took her downstairs, got ready to leave, and it was only then that Jane realised that I had trodden the poo that she'd done on the carpet and had poo on my feet, and then walked poo all the way through the house.

Oh, no, no, no. And then I had to leave. How long were you leading for? I put my feet and then walked poo all the way through the house. Oh, no. And then I had to leave. How long were you leading for? Well, that time was two weeks. Yeah, that's still not enough. It was supposed to be a day, but it had been two weeks. That's still two weeks is not long enough to deal with that kind of carnage.

Like, I just, oh man. So, just, so was Jane left? was Jane let a literary holding the baby and be having to deal with the metal did you manage to get it up before you you went you went no I just got a brand new question I just tried burying the eggs it's not that beautiful that kind of stuff I've been caught brown footage it's not what I'm into for that kind of stuff. I'm not being caught brown, flushing. It's not what I'm into, mate, all right? You're not one of my listeners. I'm not going to kink shame, but it's not what I'm into. Sorry, let's get back to today's problem because we don't know yet what the problem actually

is. It might be a twist in the tail. Sorry, Ginny, we keep interrupting. So it says, I would do most of the work, but because I'm a bit phobic of poo, we vomit and the like, she would always deal with any of those kinds of messes for me. Sadly, though, Carrie has had to live away from home for work since July 2020. I'm sorry. I think that Carrie broke up with you. Oh, no.

She works. Hush, foe. Shush, shush, shush. She works. Hash fobie. Hash fobie. Tybie agrees. She works in respiratory medicine for the NHS. So it's been a busy time. Why is the name been going on? I've not heard of anything. Welcome to PAN part.

You do know. So she's had to live away from home because she works for the NHS. I don't know. I'm not sure all of these, like, I've got a girlfriend. She's going to be coming over. I know you can get out the house. I work at the NHS so I can't live in the house with you.

Yeah, I think. This sounds like she's a cool woman. It sounds like she's a cool woman. Let's hear this guy out. Let's hear this guy out. We've got to give, we've got to give. All right, okay. We've got to give the benefit of the dough.

We've got to give Dave. Yeah, give we've got to give the benefit of the dough. We've got to give days It starts with I'm loving the patreon There's no way that I'll check the patreon tomorrow and he'll have left. He'll be gone. Absolutely. Yeah All right, it's been and, isn't it? Yeah. Okay. Alright. It's been and why how much you charge him for your Patreon? No. Okay. It's been tough in lockdown. Oh, this is making me feel terrible now. Day. It's been tough in lockdowns since I've never lived alone before. Oh. But luckily for me, she's been able to make monthly visits back to the sky. She brings up she brings up people because every time she comes

back. She's cheating on him. I'm not a lot of stuff. It's got it. Okay. All right. I've come to deal with the necessity of cleaning up after most of the pets. Three cats and one dog. However, we can't decide between us whose job it is to clean up the Viverium for the snake question.

He went like went all in on the pets. What is the system zookeeper? It's like we bought a zoo isn't it? It's like this is in the lot. They moved in together it ten years ago they've managed to basically get a small petting zoo. Three cats, one dog and a snake. You could just release them all, and then just kind of battle right out. I think you'll have less pets to deal with. You'll have a very full snake.

I don't know, man, a cat. Cat versus snake, tough. No, no, no, no, no, no, because there's all those, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I don't know if you've ever seen the Jackie Chan film, Snake in the Eagle Shadow. I don't remember it, no, no. No, okay, well, you know, a bit of research. What happens in it? Oh, you know they tell us. No, no, no, no.

I have really, I don't know, I've never seen it. I was talking to you about that. There's someone who's good at the snake style and he sees a cat beat a snake and develops his own cat style to beat the guy. That's not a documentary though. But it is. That is true. That is true.

Alright, back to Dave's message. Okay. I think it should be hers since I have fed and watered the snake. This isn't a snake, it's a cactus. Watered the snake. The snake goes straight up out of some sand. This can't be real. Is this real? I think so yeah It snake is called me by the way Okay, or the last time he watered the snake was me

It's unclear. I hope it what I hope the snake's called me because it's a while ago It says I think it should be here since I fed him watered the snake, brackets May, in the meantime. And the poo clause, okay, so he's put this in a contract, suggests to me that this is fair, but she thinks her brief monthly visit should be used in more enjoyable ways. It's not written, but brackets. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think you've absolutely read that in the right way, yeah. It says, at the end, thank you as one word

for all the good times, day. Right. That honestly sounds like the ending of a suicide note. Oh my God. Oh my God. So the basic thing is he gets to see his partner once a month, you know, one evening, one day, whatever,

out of every 30, 31 days, and she would like to have sex. He would like her to muck out the snake. She's by the way, what I call having sex, so. Yeah, maybe I'll be the same. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I feel like there's something surely just just just deal with it right day right with that not be the just just deal with the snake and then enjoy it. I have this snake shit climate for a month until your girlfriend gets back. How much does this make?

She really does. That was going to be my next question. How much does a snake poo? The length? Yeah, good. How much a snake poo is because I feel like we don't poo our own length. Oh, that's a very good point. Well, I don't know how many animals poo their own length. Oh, could you Google that fresh tab. I've seen some goldfish poo

their own length. That's true. But they can't remember it by the time... What's that coming out my ass? What do you find in your It's like nothing it looks like bird kills sort of a kind of yeah, I was gonna say it's like a it's like a yeah exactly that Birch a muck Gwam or whatever it's called it's like yeah It's quite clear here, isn't it right? He's got a clean out In the panda sorry, tell what noise did you make before you started talking there? You would it's quite in the panda. Sorry, Tom, what noise did you make before you started talking there? You would, it's quite clear. It was a no.

Oh yeah! It was like you let it, it's like you're a coiled spring. It's quite clear here, right? She's off fighting the pan. Yeah. He's got a clean out the snake, and then they have fun conjugal times. Yeah.

I think it's a small price to pay for a month's worth. And when, you know, Oh, that's a late one. when you're cleaning out the snake, you just need to go to your happy place and think of the good times it's buying you. Yeah. It's my equivalent of loading the dishwasher, put it that way.

Like, I know if I load the dishwasher, it's gonna be better come bedtime for us to go to bed together and have fun times. So it's like as you're doing the dishwasher, you say to yourself, you're in the dishwasher. No, we've got staff. We've got staff. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and he's just leaving it? It's kind of fucked up. Yeah. It is, I think your maths might be a little off there, if it's one that tries a week, but still. Thanks. I still, you know what, it's still a lot, right?

It's still more than once a month. Yeah, it's four to one a few. Yeah, it's just, you know what? I would say even 15 to 30 poos would be, would still be enough to clean p.s. would be would be would still be enough to clean up to you know like I think all whatever amount it is just to be doing a good thing for your partner right. I think you're I think the maintenance of the house while you are basically the sole occupant should be your job right and they say what's a week?

Your job right and What's a week What it said three seven days a poohs, so you know 16 times a day What's wrong with what's wrong with Either they don't do a lot of things. They do, they do that and think snakes. They eat like a mouse a week, don't they? Yeah. Guys.

So I'd barely purify a just a mouse a week. But I'd make sure it was the length of my body. Tom, you seem absolutely stunned by this news. It makes sense now why snakes are often cast as the villain. It feels like you can't trust something that doesn't poo. Daily. Do you know what I mean? I don't think it's going on.

No, no, no. Yeah, I think I was talking a wasniac about this before how many times, because I know there are people who do it like once a week or people who do it like once every week and a half. Apparently, totally medically normal. Anything I think between like once a fall. It was like your doctor Well, he's he's the guy. I know who is a doctor

You know what I was asking I was yeah, it's pretty normal to put 15 to 30 times a day I've got a snakes metabolism journey As you give me a second. I'm just gonna go and shed my skin. But no, we were talking about somebody else who we found out only Pood wants a week. And I said, is that normally said, yeah, totally normal. Anything from about sort of five or six times a day

to what wants a fortnight is totally fine. What is a fortnight? Yeah, it was. That's what you're more surprised. I knew there was a big, I knew there was a big difference. I didn't know it was quite that big. Yeah. That's what you're more surprised. I knew there was a big, I knew there was a big difference. I didn't know it was quite that big. Yeah.

I'm sorry. What are you getting done in your time if you're pooping fire system? How's the debt? Like, no. But imagine how productive you be if you pooped once a fortnight, you don't have to take in the limitless pill. It would be amazing.

It would be amazing. All of the extra time you've got. That's what they've got. They've got a scheme. That's what the snakes do. With all their non-pooing time, they scheme. That's why they're the villains. That's the time for it.

There's going to be like a, they're going to finally kind of figure out that all the billionaires in the world are the people who just do what they like. Shit less. I tell you what, just thinking about it, because chaos shit a lot, no, Nate, so I won't be surprised if there was some kind of chart

with intelligence to the amount that you shit. How often do dolphins shit? Because they're all seen as a job. I've never seen a dolphin shit. Exactly. Ever seen a dolphin? I like the way Junini very happily becomes sort of like the intern for the show.

Shitting with dolphins by the way, it's on my list of things today before I die. It's harder to book the trips, you know, when you get to New Zealand and stuff, but it's like, you know, I do want to go and shit with dolphins. You're scared of water, so you're trying to get the dolphin, coax it onto the land to use a human toilet with you. Into a public toilet. Eyes under ruin your dreams. Dolphins shit through their skin. Oh my god. I said, it's just here.

So all those people cuddling and kissing dolphins. They do their water and their feces through their skin. Oh man. this is disgusting. It really makes me feel bad about that cruise where I pet dolphins. Just milk in the shit out of them. I mean, shit. They must really enjoy, like all the humans taking pictures

of them as they stroke in their shit to life. That's why they're always smiling. They're loving it. You don't realize that's why they're always laughing. Like, he's fucking idiots. You know, stingrays, I know that they pee through their skin because my husband is allergic to sharks and stingrays. And on most people, sorry, hang on. Really? allergic? Well, like, I I mean he's allergic to sharks.

Yeah so we went to the aquarium in one of our first dates and we walked into this room and he started going that he was like this is it's really he just can make him a crazy sound of this throat and he was just shaking his head. And you thought he thought he was a keeper. He was like open at the London aquarium. There's like a petting zoo area where you can pet stingrays. Yeah, yeah. And he walked in, he started, he couldn't breathe.

Oh, wow. He's allergic to the ammonium that they pissed out of their skin. So like in the same way that people like if they can't be in a room with cats or dogs, he gets it with sting, how do you find that out? His dad works in the fishing business. Oh no, oh man. He's made him like hold a shark and Andrew's like, I don't feel great to add, and he's like, So it was stink, how do you find that out? His dad works in the fishing business. Oh no, oh man.

He made him hold a shark and Andrew's like, I don't feel great, Dad. And he's like, well, man, up, you know. I don't think I got the blacked in shock. Oh my God. I love that ticked shark. Yeah, me. I'm not the lovely, it's definitely.

I'm the lovely stuff from the new computer. Ha ha ha ha. Right, well, so what do we say? I mean, basically what we're saying here is day it's an open and closed shop beef case is never for a while but this is you've got to just listen if it's clean out the tank right if it's so busy she's she's spending her home I'm having sex with that other woman and she's coming home she doesn't want to clean out your Viverium. Also she works in the NHS. You don't want her get, you know, you don't want the trace of snake shit under the fingernails that then goes into a hospital and starts pandemic number two. We don't need that, all right? You've got to do it. Pop on your rubber gloves

and get in that Viverium and muck out beef-solved. And also watch out for that dolphin in the pond because don't let your wife near that mate, not after what we've learned. Be from the sorting out your beef solved. Silence by my friends. Beaf from Brian. Be from the podcast that you've always got. It's brin, it's brin. I wasn't sure. Yeah, brin, sorry. There's no A in it, so it's brin. Ah, that'll be the that'll be the one There be froze long time listener etc. I Love your pod. I Really enjoy the patron. It's such good value. Yes, there's a lot of that you thank you. Oh, sorry

Matthew. Thank you. Oh, sorry. Yeah. No, no. Brim says, one time, listen, et cetera. I'm currently house sharing with two of my closest friends, whom I love deeply. We get on. We all share household tasks and get on well. We get on's in there twice, so I can't say.

Well, they're getting on. The problem only arises when we have guests, my two pals, are more gregarious than me, and usually have more to say, I wonder what that feels like. Okay, okay. This leads to me sitting in the sidelines, even though I think I quite often have more to say. even though I think I quite often have more to say. I'm sorry. Listen to me. You've picked him off, me.

Sorry, I thought that. I can use, stick to read that email mate, enough of your own problems. I tell you what I did. I read to the end of the line and just started reading the same line from the start again. Oh right. This leads to be sitting on the sidelines, even though I think I quite often have funny, relevant and interesting comments to make. They boredos me and it's really starting to hurt.

No, if this goes on much longer, I feel like I might lose it. I might be quiet, while I might be a quiet man, I'm capable of killing and getting it fun push. Anyways, I really love all you three. Bahi Brim. Oh, I love Brim. Yeah. I've been saying day off, right through there, so I just stop listening to that. What was it? I'm exactly right through there, so I'll just stop listening. What was it?

I know. How are you in your friendship groups, Janina? You are often just off to one side Googling facts, aren't you? I know this bearing because sometimes in convenience, it's just your bulldozed, bulldozed, I've had a little bit of one. You're a bit of a ghost by all these huge personalities, and I don't feel

like I have a big personality. And so you end up just being really quiet. And Brin, I feel you. I feel you. The thing about that, though, is that you know that in a moment, you're going to get to be on stage speaking for

half an hour into a microphone where everyone has to listen. Bryn doesn't have that outlet. But you can, because we stand up comedian, Bryn. Please, let's not be the advice that we're gonna use of Bryn. Please, start podcast, Bryn, I'll make you really happy. You can grand a year in six years time.

If things go really well. Yeah, what's the advice? Because I mean, yeah, go on, go on some. My advice, my knee joint reaction is, this isn't, I don't think this is a problem. I know it might feel like a problem for you, but I don't think this is a problem. And I know it might feel like a problem for you, but I don't think it is, I think there are different types of people in any party. And everyone knows that the people who are loud and talking all the time aren't necessarily

the interesting ones. And the interesting ones are often the people who aren't necessarily talking about in conversation. Still water is running. Still water is running. They're the interesting people, they're the ones, so you've still got loads to offer, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, still water, I agree with you, but I feel like in this instance, he's talking about when the three of them are together. Like, is that not what he's talking about? I know he says we get on well and we get on well,

but he does say like, that my two bars more with Garrison Man usually have more to say, is he's me sick on the side, I think I'm often quite funny, rather than interesting comments to make. He doesn't mention- When they have guests. Like about other guests, he's just-

But he said when we have people over. Oh shit, sorry, in which case then ignore everything I've said. You weren't even listening to him in his email map, you see. Sorry. I'm sorry, Brynn. No, but I do think, I do think that... Sorry, Pairn, I thought this is... Yeah.

I'm sorry. We've solved it now, mate. I'm really well actually, we solved it very well. But it will make you stop wanting to hang around with those two people, We've solved it now mate and really well actually we solved it very well But it will make you stop wanting to hang around with those two people which is a real shame if you if you do get on I think it's worse chatting to them about Because I think maybe they just don't know Oh I don't know mate

What how's that conversation gonna go? Oh yeah I agree with Tom. If someone sits down and goes, mate, when we're hanging around, can you let me speak a bit more? I like, so I'm really funny too. You like go, oh God, okay mate. I mean, it's not gonna go well that, Charlie. It's gonna be really awesome. If someone said it to me, I'd take it on board.

If it been your brand in this situation. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah, how are you spelling that brain by the way? No, you can't, you can't talk about that. How's that conversation playing out? It's not like they're doing a podcast. If they were doing a podcast, you can have that conversation. It's real life. Like, in the podcast, you can go, look, guys,

I'm not getting to chance to get stuff away in the pod I've got things to say so maybe starting a podcast because then you can have this conversation but like in real life to say it that's yeah listen I know what he should do he's just got a brin you just got to talk and whisper the whole time anytime you have to say anything And you'll bring the attention to you and also you'll give people ASMR That's the other great thing as well People will be wanting to listen to you so you can get the special little tingles they get up the back of their neck

It's not about I don't know I think you'll put at least one them to sleep, so then that's 50% of the problem out of the way. There are a few people, there are a few people who I really like, but who talk too quietly and it's really affected my relationship with them. There's only so much kind of, there's only so much straining you can do to hear someone. You know, as, as you're listening to someone who's a quiet talker, your brain starts to be like, oh my God, they're so quiet. And you're so busy thinking about how quiet they are that you've not really listened to what they've been saying.

It's really hard when people are really quiet. You don't look like someone named Brendan. You. I look like with some bloke. I keep forgetting his name, I don't know. He's always there though. LAUGHTER I've got it though.

And this might be an unpopular idea, but I'm going to put it out there anyway, because it might be, you know, it seems like desperate times for Brent, call for desperate measures, get a party piece. I was going to say get a catchphrase. I think we are. A catchphrase is good. Party piece is good. Is the catchphrase. I think, yeah. I think that phrase is good. Party piece is good.

It's the catchphrase, gotta talk, please. The catchphrase is putting your hand up. And yeah, I think something like learning some card tricks or, you know, or an affectation. Oh my God. Yeah, you're, I'm sorry. Guys, you're suggesting, learn a card trick over having honest conversation with the friend. Yeah, yeah're sorry guys, you're suggesting learn a heart trick over having honest conversation with you Yeah I think there is a force, there is a force of options.

Have you guys read Lord of the Flies? Yeah, it's a conch shell. Get it on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, get it, get it, get a conch and a pig's head on a stick. And yeah, leave a pig's head on a stick in the front room. And right in blood on the wall, listen to Bryn mother fuckers. Yeah.

I just, I really feel for you and you know what? Shuck those people. Just move out. Fine, you don't get on well, get on well with them. LAUGHTER I'd say don't take yourself out of competition with them and, you know, it's it's not always good to be one of those live voices I think it's much better for you not to be. Yeah you don't have to be a loud voice just buy some stilts and make that you see walking around the house doing a bit of juggling with your stilts

learn point you know any kind of, like, become a steampunk, any of these things that can make you, to give you an interesting kind of angle. Oh my god. I think you're drawn to you, or leave you a line. Definitely be keen talking in an accent. Just feed it in, little by little, until a week or two goes by and suddenly you're Australian. Exactly. That's cool.

To the week or two goes by and someone thinks, why is Gwen talking like one of the dole meow puppets? Brin! Oh, it's a brin, sorry, not even Glyn. He's a problem is with brin, he's a forgettable dude. I can't remember his name. I can't remember anything he said in this email. Is this my guess that you just asked people to pay you money so that they can write in

about their problems and then you abuse them about it? That's what it's called. That's what it's called. The way it's playing out. It started as genuinely we wanted to help people, but when we realized we had no good advice, we just turned on them. It's turned on each other or turn on them. And turning on each other would involve

having an honest conversation. I don't know if you know, but I've just had an honest conversation. So watch this three ball. So, so, so. Everybody likes the harmonica. Get a harmonica. So far, so far we've got, we've got

having honest conversation, just be happy with who you are and don't feel like you have to compete. Become a magician or start a podcast, slash become a comedian. Yeah. There are four options. Yeah, there are, but we certainly give a lot of options. Final one, air horn.

Yes. Yeah. That's really good. That's good actually, because it's kind of like an effectation anyway, you know He's the guy who carries the air horn round but every time you fire it off people are gonna although actually Imagine if I forget the feeling that brins the kind of guy could play an air horn and people just carry on talking and Just get the feeling that they wouldn't even notice is that fair to say? Oh That is not okay. Sorry. I apologize to Bryn, I apologize.

You do seem like a nice guy. But whatever you do, don't ever be honest. Are we cautioning that Bryn is a boy, his name? We're not, I mean, not now. Now you've said that. Whoever you are. Good luck to you, Bryn, whoever you are. Yeah, good luck to you, Bryn.

Please don't kill. There is, what about take up increasingly defiant stances? Yes. Yes. Like disagree, disagree with whatever they say. And then don't ever grab the stone. I thought you made me stand with your hands on your hips. Oh, I thought this.

Can't stand. You're again, you're thinking very visual, you're thinking circus, and I like that. I mean, I don DVD of Misty Air again. So, you know, that's the thing I've got that all those tight rock walk across the ring. Spray yourself green and do a backflip. And then disagree with what they say. Yeah. I went on honeymoon to Atlantic City in New Jersey, which is basically like, I don't know, shit, Las Vegas. Like, it's, you know, it's terrible.

It's like, I don't know. I don't want to offend a country, but it's like blackpool. So we went there. We went there for three days. Blackpools on country. We went to a circus. I don't want to offend this country. We went to a circus. I don't wanna film this country.

We went to a circus and the people were so bad at being in the circus that it was the most captivating thing I've ever seen because it was real danger. We were like, they might die. Like these trapeze artists are barely catching each other's hands. I was unbelievable when it was children's show because we went at 3pm and there were all these kids who just you know have no concept of their own mortality so they were just like

what and me and you were there like near tears watching these people. So just doing a circus brand. Yeah, that's our conclusion, join the circus. We've given so much advice on this one and I think just forgot to catch him. He's just that kind of guy. Brin, I know somebody who's got months by month of free place, he's got a lot of pets, you know, so if you want to move in there, you'd be happy, just move on with day. Moving with day, and yeah, how do you feel about poo, we vomit, etc. Because you know, there's a guy there who needs somebody to clean that up, so there you go, that's your other bit of advice. Go clean up, someone else is shit.

That's beef soft. Beef soft, beef soft. I'm sorry, Brynn. Be from the Sony, I can be soft. Okay, so we have, we have a posh beef from Tilly via beefbrotherspodcast at gmail.com. A great way to get in touch. Tilly says, hello, I have a posh beef.

I would like you to help me with. Lovely, finally, some class. Just stop talking about shit. Some wagyu beef. Well, this is her next question. Rare grass-fed. I don't know what posh beef is because I'm vegan. I don't know that factors in, but let's find out.

We moved. I can tell you right now, Tilly. We'd like you Yeah, but you do realize your name's still gonna be on it It was you who said these things We moved into a flat that was two bathrooms. Very fancy. It isn't split, it's one level.

There was a bathroom off the living room and an ensuite off the bedroom. There was literally no need and a storage cupboard would have been more useful but fine. My beef is this. When we're in the flat, there is nowhere going to the toilet without sublimely announcing what number you're doing by what bar three we decide to use. Of course. For example, if me and my partner in the living room are one of us usually the on-sweet, everyone knows they're shitting and vice versa. At this rate, the on-sweet is going to look like an absolute state in a few months.

I like the way this is described as a posh beef. I mean, it kind of is, I suppose. And I was like, I'm finally getting off shitting. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. How can I go to the toilet without announcing what I'm doing? Should I mix it up so nobody can ever tell? How can I stop one toilet becoming the shit toilet? Thanks so much, Tilly.

Tilly the toilet girl. Right. Well, what? Yes, go on, clobby. Well, night time, right? Surely then the other toilet shut turns into the shit in toilet. Yeah, if you're getting on with night time shit.

I'm not going to shit. But then there's no guests in the house, so that doesn't matter, I think. I think she's saying when they have people over. Because we have a similar problem. We, for the first time ever, we have two toilets now. We have, you know, where Perry is right now. We have it under the stairs, toilet, and he does,

and he's like, Barry's in my house right now. He's in your time, sorry. I'm sorry to be this time, I'm sorry. You've managed to do your lentil. I'm doling it through my skin. It's really hard. Yeah, you've got a kind of wrap. Toilet roll around you like a mummy as well, having you. it through my skate. It's really hard. Yeah. I've got a kind of wrap toilet roll around you like a mummy as well,

haven't you? That's what you better do. Just peel it off at the end. We tell people because because our under the stairs toilet is in our living room, basically, I mean, like our couch shares a wall with the toilet. Right. So we're like number two, zero upstairs, and number one, so downstairs. And I'll tell you you what a lot of people just lying about shitting because they don't want me to know So they're just doing shits in our downstairs toilet and pretending that they're peace That's these people are not invited back to our house. That's something that's incredible. Yeah, I would I Would not do that. No, I would go as far as like I would as far away as possible

If somebody had like an outside No, I would go as far away as possible. If somebody had like an outside toilet, I'd be delighted. You know what's the sh- What's the sh- There is a sh- I'm shitting, I'm going upstairs. Everybody shits, you know.

Some of us, that's a forward life. Yeah. Which as you know. I mean, it's 30 to 40 times a month, right? Who's gonna be shocked by someone doing a shit as well? Someone said I'm going to the toilet. You're not going to be like, oh my god, they did a shit. It's like there are two things they could do in that toilet.

I wanted to see it. There's probably a few more of them. Is there a courtesy element to it? Are they saying, look, I'm going to go to the furthest one away just in case there's any residual smell that comes out of the toilet. Surely that's the reason. It's not your hiding that you're going for a shit. It's that you are doing. But that's the problem. But the issue is the knowledge isn't it? That's the problem with the beef here is people know what we're going to be doing because of the toilet we

go to. It's not the motifs. Here's what you do. Here's what you do. You just say that your main toilet is out of order when you have guests and they have to shit or pee, whatever it is in the bedroom, so that no one has to reveal what they're doing, even though it's perfectly natural. I know it's like, you don't get any shits in your kitchen or whatever.

I know I got burned by this before, but I don't, I'm gonna go back in and attempt the reverse. I don't think they're talking about guests. Yeah. Because in this, Tilly says, for example, if me and my partner in the living room and one of us uses the on-sweets, everyone knows they are shitting.

Oh, Tilly, raise up with your boyfriend. He should be. I'm having a shit. I can never baby in front of him. Grow up. Get him out. You know babies don't come out of the arsehole, Jenny, you really do have to read that book. You should read that book. Then where do they shits come out then, Tom? Think about that.

I mean, Jenny's got, I think, look, there's no, what's the stigma here, you know, we all poo, we all shit, we all, you know, it's got to happen. How it'll happen, it has to happen. It's part of the natural process. If you don't, just imagine how uncomfortable you'll be, you know. Oh, you got rid of... Oh, yeah, God. For your pleasure.

I got rid of... Sorry. I got rid of ones for going and God. For your pleasure. I got, sorry. I got rid of it. I got rid of it. I got rid of it. I got rid of it. I got rid of it. I got rid of it.

I got rid of it. I got rid of it. I got rid of it. I got rid of it. I got rid of it. I got rid of it. I got rid of it. I got rid of it.

I got rid of it. I got rid of it. I got rid of it. I got rid of it. I got rid of it. I got rid of it. I got rid of it. I got rid of it. stopped the monster they did and it's kind of a shit. Yeah. What's wrong with that? You're eating...

Can I clean? Clearing a bit of space. You know, there's nothing wrong. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I think that's fine. But I think it's, you know, maybe they're not posh, maybe they're just very immature. If you think you're going to come back and your partner is going to go, Ha-ha, you just did it, yeah.

Then that's... You don't deserve to be fair. To be fair, that is what we do every time one of us goes to the time that we start to tend to get each other like gifts, like pivgis. What? Yeah, that is the best I've ever heard. The contract you've cut you ended into, that's not bullying, is it? No, no.

That's a shared joke, it's not bullying is it that's no no that's that's a shared joke as a different it's not you know that's not you you're shitting in fear hoping you're not gonna get you know exactly yeah to get suddenly the phone buzzes and you're like oh no not another mean gift you know that's you know is your solution they should have one of their they should be stripped of one of their toilets They don't deserve to talk that they obviously can't handle it, you know It takes a lot as someone was to tell this myself. I'm gonna say Yeah, what are they to fart in front of your partner? You have to be able to

Tell them that you're shitting. I have held Andrew's hand as I shit. I'm not gonna lie to you I have held Andrew's hand as I shit. I'm not gonna lie to you. You make hilarious and I stand by it. Well you're standing up as well. That's really impressive. I'm standing by it afterwards for the photo. When Andrew proposed to me, I wanted to do a post about the proposal and whatever. I took all these pictures of just our toilet for whatever reason, just does not properly flush. So like if you flush it and walk away, it'll be a floater. And Andrew is always on his phone, so he's never looking behind him to see like, did I complete this transaction? And so I did all these engagement photos,

just with holding the ring up and the toilet is just blurred out in the background, just a little floaty poop there. There is like living the dream. The cloud, I feel like a princess. He wouldn't let me post that. Oh. That's really funny. Right, well, what are we saying then? Board up one of the loos.

To turn it into a lunch pot. Right, well, what are we saying then? Board up one of the loos. To turn it into a pot? To the storage pot? Yeah, fill the, fill the, unplanned the toilet, fill it up with soil, plant a plant in it, and then turn it into the storage cupboard that you so clearly desire to leave. You've said you... Someone did that at a house party at my parents once, we had a house part in, they took a massive plant out of a plant pot.

I don't know, what are your parents mates, did it? I don't know, no, no. We think it was one of your brothers' friends, do you think it was one of my brothers' friends? He kind of wasn't really invited and kind of, like too far. Yeah, he was't too far. And you sit in the plant pot?

No, just put the entire plant into the toilet. And then someone else came along and she's in the plant pot. Into the toilet. It's like the inverse. It's actually quite poetic actually compared to the plant pot. It was me. I did it not. I know a guy in high school who, so I went to an old girl's high school and then our brother's school was in our boy's school and they were just crazy and I know this one

boy who, he was a way on like a debate team of whatever competition and he pooped into a tissue in the bathroom and then put it up inside where the toilet paper comes from. So that was... Oh no! No one went to just get the toilet paper and they would just be shitted on. Yeah. That is...

That is not good stuff. Isn't that crazy? That's horrifying. Yeah. He was an amazing debater Tactics like that who's gonna argue against him? He would not lose So is that is that are is that are we be solved on that? Lose the toilet and just face up to the realities of shitting in your relationship

I honestly think you should just have a conversation with your partner about. Oh, now we're all about conversations. No, I just, yeah. No, take a, take a, take a juggling. Learn a magic trick. So you can go your shit from one to, from one to the other.

What you do is you shit into a top hat, and then if they go, you just shit into that top hat, you go, no, actually it's dubs, and then release the dubs out of it. And that'll help. Your thoughts, guys. So, definitely silence up, it's just staring. I'm getting you a lethal soul.

I thought my screen had frozen. I thought everybody had frozen there, because Thomas looking, Thomas looking just horrified, not that appreciative of of that at all. Tough not to crack tonight, but that's okay. Oh, well, cross me, that's what it feels like when Dubs cry, yeah. Thomas, maybe. But when you take into account that he's just been doing a shit this whole time,

it's really just concentrating. He's so under-used. I'm just concentrating. I hate someone doing this. I'm from the sorting, I get beaten! I'm solved. I don't even think this is a beef. Like, I have a beef that this is a beef in my house. Okay. My husband can't stand that I eat ingredients

rather than like, use them to create a meal. So like, I'll eat grated cheese just out of the bag. You know, I'll just eat a bunch of that and then I'll have some just like smoked salmon just out of the packet and that'll be you know breakfast. Yeah, as opposed to cheesy salmon. Yeah, yeah. Like if I made like an omelet, he gets upset that I'm eating these ingredients but in my mind I'm like what's the difference to you if I mix it on a plate that I'm eating these ingredients, but in my mind I'm like, it was the difference to you if I mix it on a plate

and made something or if I mix it in my stomach and make something, but he gets very, very mad if he goes to use the cheese, and there's no cheese left. Right. Well, he wouldn't be that mad if I was using it to make a grilled cheese sandwich. If you've made a cheese on toast, yeah,

that's really interesting. Because I guess, however you wanna eat is how you want to eat and if you want to graze, that's totally fine. I think when I initially heard you say, I might eat a bit of grated cheese, I thought you were thinking they're like, eat every component part of a lasagna. That's what I was up for. I was like, I was like, I'm a decent instructor. I eat dry cinnamon, but that's regular.

Yeah, sure for the challenge, of course. For the challenge, of course. But yeah, I don't know what's the... I don't know, I don't think that is a problem. Is it more longing for communal eating? I think it's because he's like, what are you going to not ever make food for our children? I think that might be,

I'm gonna carry them for two years. I'm not gonna cook for it. Um, is it like, is it, maybe that my asshole? I'm gonna make up. To be fair, if you do do that, you shouldn't have to. Is it like an unconscious desire to eat together for you to cook? Do you cook together often? Do you sit and eat? He's having this soup late at night, you're shoveling cheese in your mouth.

No, what? You know, when you get to sit down... Yeah, you're right, we both gig, so that is hard. And, uh, yeah. I think he really solved it, actually. Thank you. Yeah, you got that. I did my best. Yeah.

I'm like, oh, that's what he hasn't been able to tell me. Now, he can tell me that he's doing for a shit, but he can't tell me he wants to have a nice family dinner. Maybe you need to sort of agree on a night a week where you don't have gigs and sit down together or cook together. You know what? It sounds great.

You can also as well while you're doing it, you can be eating ingredients while you're cooking. One of the great pleasures of cooking for other people is you often end up stuck. You can eat by the time you serve the food. You've already eaten a lot of food. I'm like aside from the podcast, why don't you have any problems in my relationship?

Can I just call you? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Bear in mind, you have to say something nice about our Patreon first. That's all the only requirement. As long as they want nice things. You guys are the best sound emitters I've ever heard

of my human ears. Thank you. We will clean up your snake shit any time. But no re-booking. No re-booking. It's not going to happen. Yeah, I think that's it. Just have a lovely meal night. I think that's really nice.

Yeah, like a Sunday, a Sunday is just a family dinner. Exactly, yeah, lovely. There you go. Beef solved. Beef cooked, to eat, and together. Lovely. So, Jeneen, thank you so much for coming on the pod. It's been a real pleasure. Hey, you know what? You're welcome. Oh, thanks for having me. It took a lot for me to be here, but

for you guys. Yeah, it really did. I would do it for the fee that you're paying me. It really did. It was a total pleasure. Have you got anything you want to plug? Where can our listeners see you gig soon or you're an amazing stand up? Well, on the 5th of November, if you happen to be a subscriber to Amazon Prime or if you're interested in starting a subscription, you can see my special, my one hour long stand up special, which actually features Ben in the audience, he's made the cut. Whoa! He's got him laughing in one of the scenes. Yes! I was going to say, I was there, it was absolutely fantastic, so please.

There were so many shots of you laughing, it was great. Was he the only one laughing? What is the only one there? I remember just stony faces, a clocky dying. The show is just me performing too, Ben. Just me and him, and I just maintain eye contact for the full hour. It's called Stand Up, Janine Herone, please remain seated.

Amazon Prime November 5th, check it out. Just got recommended in the New York Times. So there you go. Oh my gosh. Congratulations. International. I mean, you're amazing. Yeah, honestly, it's an hour and a half.

You've got international. You're being recommended by the place you're from. It's an hour and a half show where I just talk about just different places and talk to you to shit. Great. Yeah, that's good. Great. And then, why are you really Chinese with me?

I loved it. You were on the toilet all the way, friend. The other thing that people can see you in on ITV Player is buffering, which I finished recently, and I absolutely loved. I thought it was so brilliant. I really, really enjoyed it. Yes, written by Steve Bugeya, absolutely.

Yeah, you did, you did, I'm the Ian Sterling, who I think you've had also the misguests, the first one we have. Yeah, yeah, and if you've not heard of buffering, it's a podcast featuring the Insturning. And if you haven't heard of it, it's because you don't. It's a sitcom, sorry.

It's a sitcom. I don't even know what to do. It's a sitcom. I don't even know what to do. If you, yeah, it's a brilliant show. It's a sitcom. And it's like, properly, like, I was saying it's a car. It's like a brilliant ensemble.

It's like, it's's like properly, I was saying it's a car, it's like a brilliant ensemble, it's laugh out loud, funny, like a friend's style ensemble, but it's got a really sort of genuinely dramatic sort of plot running through it, it's great, it's really really good, I loved it. He said the exact opposite to me weirdly, but I don't know. No, I don't.

LAUGHTER Is it on the ITV hub? the exact opposite to me weirdly but look no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no Send us your beef, your whining fox. Well, well, well, what an episode and Tom, could you just... briefly sum it up to that episode? So basically, it's like three friends who live together, but we don't really live together. We've got to pretend we live together. We have previously lived together, but no, we just do it over Zoom. Oh, God, I just didn't want to drink.

I can't. Sorry. LAUGHTER Uh... If you enjoyed, Janine, by the way, and why wouldn't you? That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right.

That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right.

That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. This beef with Janine, which was very good fun to record. Also as well, I'll recommend again, which I've done before on the podcast.

I recommend buffering, she's in the sitcom buffering, Ian Sterling and Steve Pajayas sitcom. Both friends of the show and Janine's. Oh, well, well, Steve Pajaya, I mean the friends of the show. If anything. Paris best friend that he only ever talks to on the podcast. Our best guest of all times. You're loving that, aren't you? He's great.

He just nailed it. It just came in, sted up to the plate. It was effortless. You know what I mean? It was like a warm bath. I got the feeling. I got the feeling during this episode.

You were enjoying working with your name, but you were thinking, well, you're not Steve, are you? Everyone is in the shed. Everyone's in the shadow of the bouche these days. It's kind of you know, I pity any guest who comes on post-bouche, you know, that's the end of the year. I've been up to you, I know. Yeah, we have to deal with it. He's not in cross-be. We can see it now when we talk to you, just in your eyes, you're just like, I wish I was talking to Boos right now. That was the problem with you describing

Papi's flat share to your mate. You started with, how do you feel about the Boos? Yeah, I mean, so these are one episode. It's this podcast about Steve Bajaya. Steve Bajaya's podcast, and for 10 years it was like a build up. It looks like God God I build up to Bajair arriving and No, it's just it's it's it's dealing with the fact that Bouch was once a guest We gotta get him back Yeah, but we just listen Feels like he's been gone a lifetime

I feel like he's been gone alive time, don't you? Yeah, he's been on more episodes reading than Harry has. LAUGHTER Yes, speaking of Harry, we got in a message, a little point of order via pappiesflatshareatgmail.com. This is from Sai, and they write, was going to put this as for the attention of Tom, but since he never reads the emails at the same point as, can someone tell Tom that he's a millennial? What?

He keeps using it to refer to the youth of today, but the word probably describes the majority of Pappies listeners and all of the actual members of Pappies. Tom, the word you're looking for is Zumas or Gen Z. Cheers everyone by, cheers everyone say. There we go. Well I say I'm zoomers. Apparently zoomers, yeah. Whoa, I learned, I learned a new phrase this morning which is zenial. What's zenial? Xe double n-L-S. It's a portmanteye blending generation, X-Millenials, to describe the micro-generation of people born between the ones who can remember pre-being online and then going into online. Yeah, it's like analog and digital combined, so that is us.

That's us, isn't it? Actually, I think we might actually be Zenyles. So was Zenyles in name but Boomer in Attitude? And Millennial on our birth certificates. Millennial birthed. And Zuma in knowledge. So again, we've got another dimension to in order to describe ourselves that is more confusing. We've got another dimension to in order to describe ourselves that is more confusing a. Basically, we're just three zenials. We're just three zenials who are potentially boomers, who host a game show.

Oh my God. You've reached the end of the line. Okay, well thank you for listening. What a lovely way to spend time in your ear canal, as ever. We'll be back next week, or early or on in the week, if you're a Patreon subscriber. I'm confused myself again. You really are. I think the word you're looking for is goodbye, everybody.

And don't forget to Google us. Today's episode was produced by Emma Corsham. Corsham team. Cheerson Tee-ee! Cheers everybody and bye! Send! Brrrr-brrrrr! Please be up stand for the neighborhood. Patreon watch.

Roll call. First person is Jamie. Well, that's about time. Two. Carrie. On with. The same word. What? Cool.

So. The next. The next. The next. The next. The next. The next. The next. The same word What? Bro Cool So The next person is Where the fuck?

Kinetic sculpture There What? Ah, kinetic sculpture! There! What? Next! Might be a kind friend. And right now we feeling fine is Mark Cole's pink makes me think doesn't it's next Next!

First! Yes! A-D-E-R-E-M! Finally! Not first! Finally Feeling good Oh Remy

Jordan Feeling fine That's concludes this week's Patreon Roll! Roll! Next! Sure!