Pappy's Flatshare - Beef Brothers Cold Cuts w/ Michael Odewale S14E04

Episode Date: February 20, 2024

The Beef Brothers are here to solve your beefs with special guest Michael OdewaleMichael's website - https://michaelodewale.com/Michael's Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/michaelodewalecomedyWe're live in London TONIGHT20th Feb - Lucy Porter and Flo and Joan - https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/flatshare-slamdown-with-lucy-porter-flo-and-joan-tickets-814345769117Pappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetPappy's Insta - https://www.instagram.com/pappyscomedy/Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareFind tickets to all our live shows here - pappyscomedy.com/liveEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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If you have any questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you please contact Connects Ontario at 1-866-5 through 1-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BedMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Greetings listener dear I'm Tom and I'm Ben yes that's right it's just the two of us today I expect was expecting an admin light intro out, so we're gonna whip crack away. Listen to this episode. I mean, that's all we need to do. Imagine it, let's be honest.

Right, we're here today with a Beef Brothers Cold Cut. We talked to the supremely talented Michael Odoale and got him to solve some of your beefs, some of your flat problems. He was good at it too. What a stupid guy. He was really picking up on stuff. Yeah, yeah, just what we needed actually.

Someone to finally come in and be astute and have some very funny answers to your problems. Michael Odoale is on tour. We'll stick a link in the bio, and we'll also stick his website and Instagram handle in there. You should definitely follow him, check him out live. He is the definition of a class act. Any other, anything you, I mean,

I'd love to keep this so admin light that we can say to Crosby, listen back and that's how it should be done. That's it, it's just done. We've got a gig tonight, you can come to that. We've got a gig tonight! We've got a gig tonight! Yes, it's at the Phoenix in Oxford Circus, our spiritual home. We'll be kicking off at about half seven. So if you suddenly discover you've got a free evening, why don't you get yourself down there?

We've got some incredible guests, we've got Lucy Porter and the musical duo, Flo and Joan, who let's be honest, legends of the game, all three of those people. So come on down, it's not too late to join us unless you're listening to this when it is too late to join us. Then it's too late to join us. Yeah usual gubbings, we've got a Patreon where we put out an extra podcast every week and there's a lovely community of listeners and if you want to get involved with that go to patreon.com forward slash I want to say happy f***ing shit. Ah there you go. It's done. And let's be honest that's all there is to it. Enjoy this episode. Bish bash bash Bosch, see you on the other side. Well, if you've got a problem, don't call it a problem.

If you've got a problem, call it a beef. If you've got a beef, maybe we can help you be from a zoning like a beef. Cuts. Thanks so much for coming on the show. Oh, thank you for having me. 9.15, it's good to see the world is up at this time. Did you know that? Yeah. There's the birds, the twerping,

is that what they do? They chirp in? Oh, who knew? They chirp in their twerping. They're formally twittering. They're xing. Oh, they're xing? Oh my gosh. The milkman is out. I live in a very old school area. The milkman is out. You know, society is alive at this time. You've woken up so early, it's the 80s. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. There's a white dog pill on the floor. Now what a lot of stand-ups don't realise

because they're inherently lazy people who sleep in bed all morning. It's 9.15 is the funniest time of day. That's the reason we do it. This is the fun, this is the sweet spot right now. Explain you're working out, explain you're working out 9.50. I've been rumbled. I would say I think you can, like sometimes

you can overthink things. And the one thing you're not doing at 9.15 is thinking too hard. You know, I think sometimes it's sort of it is a good it sort of removes that bit of your brain that goes oh what shall I say and you just start talking and how it comes and that it works for us anyway it certainly works for us it's actually the third podcast we've recorded already we started at 5 a.m. after this we're you know, after this we're straight back to bed. We're Alves. That's us, we're done.

You're rising grand. It's cold shower. It is. And then the podcast. He's in there. We're all recording live from an ice bath. You know when Mark Wahlberg did his like day? You explained what his day was and it was like wakes up at 2.30 a.m. to pray.

That's very much us with podcasting. This is our church You know we wake up as early as we possibly can we Podcast through the best part of the day and there when most people are just still brushing their teeth. We're back to bed Don't forget to schedule in 15 minutes for see kids minutes for sea kids. Back to the gym. Wave at children. Pray for kids. Talk about their stop options. So Michael, what's your living arrangement? Are you flat sharing? Are you living on your own? What's the setup?

I live with my mum. Do you? So that's cool. Yeah that's cool. Is she you're rebranding that as cool? Yeah as I say to go, my mum lives with me, it's what I say to girls. Oh so you're looking after her, you're looking after mum, you're sort of... No no no that's just what I say. It really works doesn't it? That's great, that's just what I say. Yeah. It literally works, doesn't it? That's great. That's really smart stuff.

You seem very caring. Seem like a very caring person. Got my mom, got a houseplant, you know what I mean? I'm just, yeah. Got a chamigotchi. You're nurturing. All currently alive. We're back in the 80s.

Are you paying your way? Are you charging your rent? What a question. My God. It's a question! My God! It's a question as a parent I want to know. Because you know what? Listen, Tom. Tom, we're only 14 years away from this kind of situation happening.

14, 15 years away from happening. I want to know what kind of question is that. You only want questions away from paying rent and housework. Have you got a plan B? So you've turned into our parents man. I do pay my, that's why I say technically it's like we're flatmates. I pay my way, pay some groceries, you know, do some work around the house. I'm out here. If mum was here now, what would she say about Michael to live with?

What would she say about her boy? Hmm. I think she would say, oh, what a wonderful first person to live with. I mean, do I have my flaws? Yeah. But you know, I inherited them from her biologically. So you can't really keep mad at it.

She has to share the blame. Yeah, exactly. So she takes 50% of that, I think. So as a whole, I think I'm a delightful person to live with. You know, also, I'm out a lot of times, you know, I'm out at night. You're working? So comedian, comedian schedule. In the daytime, times, you know, I'm out at night. You're working so comedian comedian schedule

In the daytime, I just tend to go to a cafe or something. So she kind of got the house to herself a lot So, you know, I think I think overall I'm I'd be a good person to live with is there like one night a week That's like, you know, mum and son dinner night or anything like that Do you do you make do you make time for each other or do you have very separate lives? early thought that do you do you make time for each other or do you have very separate lives? Sundays Sundays I don't tend to gig on Sundays so 10 will watch Premier League football while watching it. You can just do a gaffe. Yeah half time she'll ask why am I not married yet I'm like because I live at home my mom that's why I mean. So then those kind of things. 15 minutes, there's two important team talks going on in the dressing room.

That's what it's like about us. That's great. And what might be straining to the slightly too personal, but has it ever got awkward with maybe bringing someone home? Is that ever? Is that? Do you know, I've never... I'm a Nigerian household. It's very hard to attempt that, even at this age, 28.

So I've never tried to do that. And the walls are too thin. Yeah, you go to the cafe for that, don't you? Both ways. Yeah, yeah. Let's go, Griggs. Understood. I've always wanted to have a pet, even that I think,

is too much to bring as a companion in an Aegean household. What would you like? I've always wanted to have a turtle. Come on. I think that's like very low maintenance from what I hope. Yeah. That's how we treat it. I read, I don't know if this is true,

you can keep turtles in the fridge. I don't know if that's... Oh. Is that true? I've never heard it before, but I mean, I'm not an expert. There's literally only one way to find out. Yeah, there is. Yeah, there is. I heard they like to, you can't like they're not a permanent home but they like to chill out there sometimes. Oh my god I had the incident two days ago where something's

gone wrong. I found a slug in my fridge. Oh no. How's the slug got in the fridge? Slug in the fridge. What does that mean? Are you buying like farm fresh veg? That's what the what you want to hope is that the veg you're buying is so fresh that it still has you know Like and so free of pesticides It's still got a few of the creepy crawlies around it and they are they've just they've just you know just moved around a bit No, I've got a slug problem outside of the fridge. What I think it means is I've reached something like that scene in Jurassic Park Where the slugs can open doors. Yeah.

Like, I think, I think... It's got, it's got disposable fump, this duck's disposable fumps. It's got, um... Proposable. It's got fump, it's got fump work. It's got fump work, yeah. It's got a lever, good help. Yeah, yeah, it's eaten from the fridge and then it's hitchhiking out of here.

Clever girl. Yeah, yeah, it's eating from the fridge and then it's hitchhiking out of here. And is it on the letter? So is it choosing sort of an unorthodox food to sort of munch on? Upsettently Michael, it was in the mushrooms and very nearly got cooked as a mushroom. Oh! If you can imagine the shriek that I made when you're about to pick up a mushroom and then you realize it's a slug. Awful, awful, awful. Anyway, let's not distract. It's also the shriek I make when I pick up a mushroom. Yeah, yeah. You might occasionally accidentally eat one inside a Greg steak bake, but apart from that, keep those away from my plate. I can tell you, I can answer your question by the way, tortoises and turtles can hibernate

in the fridge, but they say you need a separate fridge. Don't do it in the fridge where your food is because it's not hygienic. Don't want to mistake it for a lettuce. Imagine that. Imagine the shriek then. Imagine that shriek then. Imagine that shriek. So this lettuce sandwich is a bit hard isn't it? Do you know it's for ages?

Oh. Tastes like a ninja turtle. 0208123 3272 what's your beef? 0208123 3272 what's your beef? Let's solve some other people's problems. Let's see if we can't solve some beefs. Tom, do you want to start? I will.

I can. This is a part workplace, free range, hotel mate, international Kobe beef. This is me. Listen, I've run this podcast with you guys. I don't understand what that means. Is this the kind of thing? Listen, I didn't write the title of this of this beef.

This is Beth's own work here. Great. But I thought as she's put so much effort into the title, I've got to include it. OK, I think we're looking at some kind of hotel situation. We'll find out. This is from Beth, via pappiesflatshare at gmail.com. Get in touch. Dearest pappies, an illustrious guest.

Oh, not bad. Not bad. He'll take illustrious at 20 past nine in the morning. I am writing for your honourable and most worthy advice on a beef that took place on a recent work trip to Japan. Now that the novel virus is behind us, or we are indeed just ignoring it, I imagine that's exact Covid. That's the one, yeah, yeah. My work, I've heard of it. My work trips have come back. This mostly entails small groups, two to four people,

traveling to Japan for two weeks at a time where we run training courses with industrial partners. We're not talking big cities like Tokyo or Kyoto, much smaller towns where there is practically no English spoken and as hard as I have tried, my Japanese pretty much is constrained to introductions, ala year 8 French lessons and being able to be polite in restaurants and shops. As colleagues we spend a lot of time together on these trips though in separate meetings

through the day with different cohorts for training there is a lot of time spent together. There is the drive to and from work every day We say at least one hour of car-based small talks each Day look at the traffic the weather's nice Wonder what that sign says We of course have dinner together. Dining out is sometimes hard with the language barrier and so company makes it easier so at least two hours of chat a night. How many siblings do you have etc. This tastes nice I wonder what that sign says. At the weekends we go on walks trips to see the local sights, a lot of walking along the

river in parks and looking around shops. As I said, not big cities so not a turn to see or do. And therefore lots of small talk to generate. Isn't that tree pretty, what a nice view, wonder what that sign says. To the beef. We are for these two weeks colleagues and in a ride share and flatmates sharing a hotel, though thankfully not a hotel room, and we're dining together often and spending free time together at the weekends too. It's a lot of chat to generate and I do my best

and we talk about all sorts. There is one time though I would rather be alone. For me, the start of my day enjoying a hotel breakfast, reading a book or listening to a podcast I downloaded a 6th month backlog of Pappies for a 2 week trip. It's a nice gentle start to the day and I'd rather do that alone so I can gear myself up for a busy day. I live alone at home and spending this much time with others is a bit overwhelming, not to mention that before my morning coffee I can only be so polite. I find no way of letting my colleagues know of this desire to be alone over breakfast, though without coming off as an asshole. We have to go to breakfast

as it opens at half six as we're picked up at seven so I can't stagger when I go. If I go in first my colleague will sit at the same table as me. There are no tables for one so there is always room for them. If I go later and don't see them they will call me over and I feel too rude to deny their invitation for joining them or as has happened twice now they move to my table. If I don't go to breakfast then I go hungry and it's a long time till lunch. Dearest Pappies how do I set boundaries without coming off the rudest of the rude? No amount of me wearing headphones, carrying a book or just not sitting with them seems to have done the trick. I've just finished the

first of four two-week trips. I'll do over the next six months. So I need to figure this out. Thanks in advance, Michelle. Wowie. It's a tricky month. My first thought is, it might be time for the Mark Wahlberg routine. Yeah, it might have to be.

You might have to be a 2.30 waker. Just so you can get your little podcast time. Also, you can fit in gym time, make a movie, do Transformers 4. You can fit in a lot of time if you start waking up at 2.30 before breakfast. Or maybe just a little bit earlier. Have your alone time then?

Yeah, you're saying start the day earlier, have the alone time, then you're fresh time then have yeah, you're saying start the day earlier have the alone time Then you're you're fresh as a daisy if she needs that alone time and she doesn't want to offend her Colleagues, I think you might just have to start your day a bit earlier. Could you call for room service? That's why I was gonna one. Could you could you have a breakfast room service or could you over dinner? Take a doggy bag and just have leftovers for breakfast. I know it's not that's a bit less dignified sitting there you know eating a bit of last night's you know whatever it would be I mean I whatever Japanese cuisine it might it might be

I don't know how well it travels. Leftovers for breakfast feels like a bit of a yeah if you're not hung over a solution does it oh well yeah it is my favorite could she can could she communicate what none of us use that option none of us she told the truth okay okay right we'll do a little role play now. I am the slightly overly keen workmate. Michael, you're going to be. Tell me about it. Yeah. Guys, we have to record at 9.15 this morning. There's literally no other option.

I've a hard out of 10.15 I need to go to work. I've got a hard on at 9.15, I'm still here. So, so like, so I I I've seen you, you know, you're sitting at your own table. I'm like, no, no, come over and sit with me or I've come over to sit with you. How do you, how do you broach it? I might do a little cough cough sort of charades. It's like, oh, I'm sick. I need this space to my life. If we're going for honesty, Yeah, or we're looking for solutions. You can come up with it. You can it's absolutely

Get this current point Michelle has nothing so whether we're going for honesty or we're going for some sort of ruse That's all absolutely fine. It's all on the table currently. Koff Koff works maybe two days in a row. Yeah, she's got six months. Six month of trips here. Yeah, I'm sick every morning. Yeah, also if it's a buffet breakfast, that is, I don't think, that also brings its own problems.

This feels like Route 1, but if I'm going away on a trip with someone, it's, you're basically one ripping the plaster off chat right at the start of the trip. And actually, I think if someone gave me that chat, I think they're a bit of a legend. I don't, I think it's quite, it's quite a cool thing to say.

Like you get in the car to go to the airport right at the start of the trip and you go, hey legends, can't wait for the next two weeks. I'm great at the bar in the evenings. I can't wait for dinner with you guys, I'm great at the bar in the evenings. I can't wait for dinner with you guys, but I'm just gonna say it right now. You try and talk to me before half seven. I have breakfast on my own, I have my coffee,

but from half seven onwards, let's go. I'd be like, fucking fair play. Yeah, that person has done it. And it's not like, it's not halfway through the trip where you're like, it feels like you've had a bad breakfast and you're bored of them it's like I want to do dinner with you I want to do that with you but from half seven onwards and otherwise just leave me at Leo I'm on my own for breakfast everyone got that

great let's go I agree with that but also if you start a conversation with hey legends I probably immediately hate you but apart from that. Apart from that. Apart from that. Is this why you've never offered us tour support? Everybody else said that was perfect. Yeah, yeah. It's like a high energy positive chat right at the start of the trip. And then it's like, anyone else got any order of business? You know, like, you know, like,

what it makes you feel like then is the old pro. You get to go like, no, look, these trips get long, blah, blah, blah. Anybody got, you know, if you don't want me to talk to dinner or whatever, I get it. I'm gonna say my thing, my thing's breakfast. If you know, if you just let me have my breakfast,

then we're gonna have a great day together from then on. Clive, what about you? Okay, you like feet? Cool, I can't, what about you? OK, you like feet? Cool? OK, what about you? OK. And it's like you just kind of make it like a bit of a group thing in the cab

on the way to the airport. And it's like, OK, what you do is you kind of best man at a stagger when you treat it like you're made of honor at a hen. Kind of, it's that kind of energy that you have to just summon up in the cab on the cab on the way to the airport. Yeah, I think this could be genuinely I think the truth in a palatable

way is probably the best way around us. In life. I mean, basically that's the advice we give for every problem at the end. The truth in a reasonable way isn't it? I thought that's what I'm looking for. It does make for quite a short podcast that's anything. The other route if you really can't say it is do you go down the line of a comedy t-shirt? I seem like it don't talk to me so I've had my coffee t-shirt. I seem like it don't talk to me so I've had my coffee t-shirt. Oh boy. Legends. Or legends. You get one that says I'm with stupid and then nobody would want to sit next to you because nobody wants to be stupid. One that says I'm also sat across from stupid as well. Sorry boob inspector is this the C3 because... Yeah, I reckon that might be the way to go because no one was left overs for Breaky.

No, no, no. Even as I was saying it, I was thinking, it's a bad idea. Sitting on your own, holed up, eating like a little bit like, I don't know, a bit of old dried out sushi. I mean, it just doesn't, it doesn't bear thinking about. You don't want to live like that. No, no, no, no, you know, you don't live like that. And I, yeah, so I think absolutely you have to just be, you have to just be brutally, not brutally honest, you have to be honest in a kind and measured and a loving way. I do find it mad though that this person, like what's going on in this other person's life that they're so desperate to spend all their time?

You know, have they not got a book or a podcast or you know, somebody else on the trip they want to chat to? Like is there no one else? It just feels- Final option. Final option that I'm calling teenager on the bus option yeah is if you've got six months of Pappies downloaded and in your arsenal then you could just sit there with the phone on the table with it playing loud and then no one will come anywhere near you that is that is a service that we can provide for you.

Absolutely right. Get yourself a little Bluetooth speaker. You'll have one morning where they think, oh, I'll sit down and listen to this with you and then you'll be in the clear for about six months. You'll get five minutes at most. And that is a service we provide to you dear listeners. You know?

I think that's a brand, yeah. We're an audio force field. We've often said it. I think that's a good, I mean, I think honesty is, especially in the morning, maybe it's just a custom thing. They just assume everybody wants to be talking in the morning and what, you just gotta let them know my brain don't work until a certain time.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's it. 10, 15. Like me and Clark used to live together when we were starting to do papp. Yeah, yeah. That's it. 10, 15. Like me and Clarke used to live together when we were starting to do pappies and, you know, Ben had just like not want to talk to me when we weren't on stage together or, you know, and I'd respect that, you know, it just, you know, it just, you know, no eye contact, no acknowledgement whatsoever. You know, and I respect that because he valued what we had on stage together, gentlemen. So it just made that bit on stage all the better.

This one is a capture. Yeah. Save it for the public. Don't waste the gold over breakfast. Was awkward when we had to chat about the washing up on stage though. It was headed chickens. That's what we do, the podcast.

Beef Salved. Beef from a son in a YB. Beef Salved. Getve from the Signing I Am app today. BedMGM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly. BedMGM.com for terms and conditions. 19 or older to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have any questions or concerns about your gambling

or someone close to you, please contact Connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BedMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. Right, he's got the next beef. Michael. My flatmate, also known as my mother mother she is a bit of a hoarder She does like to bring things into the house. I don't necessarily

Think they belong there It's always weird like she bought a bathtub up. You need one of those right, surely? She's got a sink. She's holding a bathroom. Like water works. She's brushing. There's a bathtub in the garden, right? We have a bath on that. It's one of the...

She's going last to the summer wine on this issue. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Or is she just hinting? My mother's a very future plan type person. I'm going to bring this in and that we're going to use it later type thing. Like we have lifts to an attic.

We don't have an attic. You know what I mean? It's like one of those stairs that we're going to connect to an attic. I've seen that. We don't have one. You can't do this. It's like it's very future plan based type thing that she's bringing into the house.

She's a very aspirational woman. Don't play aspirational. I don't think we're going to just get an attic out of nowhere. So I just, I just, I worry about this. Mum, have you bought a trophy cabinet? I respect it. Short on the arms coming out next month. She's got a few big dreams. You know, she's thinking big.

She's thinking one day I'm gonna have an attic and one day I'm gonna have an alfresco bath. Yeah. I think what she wants is an extension I into the good you put the bath there and then you build around it Yeah, I maybe she's hinting at my current financial status to not be able to afford the extension maybe she's she's gradually collecting an entire house for you And the last is like a wife. She brings it in late.

Just during Liverpool looting. That's when the word. It's like a flake out there. It's that day, Adam. It's like a flake out there. Clarke, you had a hoarding family, would you safely say, your parents' house? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Release that into the world. But I've been reading this, this Japanese lady, and she's very much like, if it don't bring you joy, let it go. I remember this. Marie Kondo, yeah, yeah. Marie Kondo. It doesn't spark, although do you know the story about Marie Kondo? It's like, if it doesn't spark, if it's not used for it doesn't spark joy,

get rid of it. She's since her book came out, I think she's had kids. Okay. And has really changed. I genuinely think, I might be getting this wrong, but I think she's had kids and has really changed. I might be getting this wrong, but I think she's had kids and she's like, yeah, all right, okay, my house is full of shit now. I've got kids. My bad. I thought you were going to go, well, these don't bring me, so I'm a kid. That's where I thought you were going with that.

Hey, how much joy is this kid? Two sparking. All right, my kids are both incredibly joy-sparking and incredibly useful in that I've got them. I've actually been producing this podcast. We've got to do it before 10, 15 things. That's nap time. Otherwise... I had a very similar chat in a cafe the other day where I said to someone, we've just had two kids and it's like, it's a game changer, put it that way. And I was in a cafe talking to this other mom who had like two kids around her.

And I said, yeah, but the thing is, Philip Perry in her book says like, the way you should talk to a kid and the mom just let in and went, Philip Perry only had one kid, she don't know shit. Wow, okay, okay, whoa. I knew exactly where she was coming from. Yeah.

That's funny, Samaria Kondo's work out is very... I think so. I might be getting that completely wrong, but I think there was a point where she was like, actually, I went to a slightly... There's a bit of movement on my rigorous methods now that I've got kids in my life. Is there an argument, Michael,

that you start to out hoard your mom so that when she has the chat with you, you can have the chat with her? So it's like, you know. That's interesting. She buys a bath, you buy a fucking bigger bath. Yeah. You buy some stairs, you buy a, you know, you whatever.

And then she's like, whoa. Let's just hang away. It's the A, she's like, you're bringing all this shit home and you buy it, you know, you know about and then she's like whoa I'm gonna wave Yeah, she's like you're bringing all this shit home and you're like mom. Yeah, let's talk about it We need to declutter together. I'll get rid of that that I brought home last week You I'll get rid of the barrel you get rid of the bathtub or whatever it is And it's like you kind of fucking deep you deescalate together. It's like the nuclear kind of stockpiling Yeah, I was thinking I bring in a surplus of turtles, right? We're going to need a bigger fridge. Pop them in the bathtub.

They were in the bathtub. And now there's two conversations that need to be had. It's like, you know what I mean? So I think, like, basically what you said, you know, I bring in a surplus and she brings in a surplus of certain. And then, you know, the bring in a surplus of certain she brings in a surplus of certain And then you know the turtles can be the mediator and then we just have the conversation Yeah, yeah, I like that. I think that's the way you got to go. You got to fight fire with fire

Yeah, you got to go to a bring-and-buy sale or some kind of shit I agree with you mom, but you've got to run it past my boys and then you bring out your turtles. Yeah Let's do what the committee think of this. Let's see what the Mal's committee think of this. Donatello, Michelangelo. Do you have any thoughts? Rafael, you've been awfully quiet. I'm going to say he's frozen solid.

Don't ask Michelangelo, he's pissed again. Who left him in the wine cooler? Have a Google Crosby. can you keep turtles in the bath? In the garden? That feels good, don't it? Okay, can you keep a turtle in the fridge? Can you keep a turtle in the bath? It says can you put a turtle in the bath tub? Let's have a look.

They can harvest salmonella bacteria which can make humans very ill. So it's important you do not bathe your turtle in the sink or bathtub. But I can keep them in the fridge? Yeah well it's going to be a separate fridge it's going to be a separate turtle fridge. But I think actually that's why you've got a separate bathtub. You've got the turtle bathtub in the back garden. You've got a human bathtub in the house. Yeah.

Exactly. And the attic stairs that's a little playground. You can see everything. I think the answer to this is get yourself a turtle get yourself multiple turtles. I know sir There we go beef solved. I feel like a weight off my shoulders and onto your mothers Hello, hope you're all well. I have a beef with my boyfriend of almost two years After our first date I went back to his in brackets slag and he had a very I just really was be given to me. Fair enough. Fair enough. Hang on. Can we have that again? I thought I'll briefly check the cricket score and then I dropped out

for two seconds and then I heard that and I was like I've missed I've missed something crucial here I think our friend Grace has gone back to her boyfriend when she first met her boyfriend She went back to his on the first date and has called herself a slag That wasn't Michael editorializing I thought that was cockney rhyming slang or something like that No, I think I think all this time hey so much he had a very bare flat and two lazy boys instead of a couch two

lazy but old like as in. Yeah, like your friends. Yeah. We go about the chandelier. The Jerry Chandler method. There's a lot going on. Okay. He said he hadn't long moved in and he was excited to decorate. Almost two years later and the flat is in the same state.

And he said he said that just to impress me. His mom has been saying the full time he can have their couch when they buy a new one. But it's a bright red leather suite, which I hate. And they also haven't bought a new couch yet. I'm thinking two lazy boys as human beings. I'm actually not as in, yeah, actually. So that makes it a much funnier situation.

He lives with these lazy boys. And he won't throw them out. Two lazy boys with a slag,ag into a hell of a sitcom. Yeah, it's a good podcast actually, I'll listen to that. Wasn't that a working title for Baddle? I'm refusing to move in until this is no longer the case, which he thinks is out of order. Help, cheers, Grace, smiley face. Wow, wow.

A lot going on there from Grace. Thank you for that message, Grace, smiley face. Wow, wow. A lot going on there from Grace. Thank you for that message, Grace. So here's the question I want to know, which we won't know, what's Grace's living arrangement? What's her setup? What's she leaving in order to... Because the thing is, what you have to hope for in a relationship is they're going to provide you with a better life than your current life, right?

That's the reason to get into a relationship. Not to make it purely selfish because you're gonna do that for each other. But it sounds like whatever situation Grace is in right now is not as good as the relationship she's thinking about. I mean, it's two years, isn't it? Really, you should be moving in together, no? Yeah, that's it.

Do you think scorched earth policy find a brand new place that you can decorate together? What's really going on here? What do those lazy boys represent? Those lazy boys represent a lifestyle, don't they? Two people don't fit on a lazy boy. One person, one single lad having the time of his life fits on a lazy boy.

One absolute bachelor dude. Is refusal to go from the lazy boy lifestyle to the to the sofa. Yeah, you know, that next chapter in his life. That's what's really going on. See what you see. That's what's really going on here. Like, is he still on the apps? Let's ask the question. You know, is he still on the apps? Yeah, yeah. Spicy. Is that what's really going on here? Rather than, you know, because, you know,

there's a lot of fun in the lazy boy lifestyle. But what Grace is symbolizing, saying when I move in, we're going from lazy boy to sofa. That's... It's a productive man. Yeah. Exactly right. That's it. You know?

Lazy boy, that's a recliner, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. It's a recliner, yeah. I see. I mean, you could just get a two-person recliner. If he really wants to recline and she wants to couch, Coggie, just... This is it, but I think the... Of course, the problem here, of course, is with the boyfriend.

He crucially doesn't want to get the two-person recliner. It's commitment, isn't it? It's commitment to a brand new life. It's commitment to the life of a person in a relationship. You're right, he's trying to have his cake and eat it too. He's trying to keep her as separate as his two lazy boys. But also Grace is saying, like Grace said, I won't move in until you change.

Yeah. No. Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds. Do you, you know, Grace, you've fallen in love with a lazy boy. Do you have to accept that, you know, he's a lazy boy. This is the way you go. He's a recliner, you know what I mean? Hey, listen, the only problem with that is,

no offense to Michael who is in his twenties, but if you're looking around for males in their twenties who are fully formed men, your dating pool becomes very, very small. You know, I think that's the that is the problem. I'm wearing a cardigan. I'm very... He's up at 9.30 in the morning.

He's a refined gentleman. He's facing the best part of the day. I'm about at least five turtles. Yeah. It's only a matter of time though before that cardigan becomes a dressing gown and you are Splinter surrounded by your turtles. Once that cardigan lengthens and then you essentially become Splinter.

That's how I've been through it. Living in a sewer. Yeah. Your mom dressed as April O'Neill. Too far? I guess so, too far. as April O'Neill. Too far? I guess so, too far. Now, it seems also like the mum has been trying to get involved,

trying to make him grow up as well. Yeah, so this red leather suite that's reared its ugly head. That's hanging over you like a guillotine or something. You don't want that. So hang on. So Grace doesn't want... He's been offered a red leather sofa. Grace doesn't want that. So hang on. So Grace doesn't want, he's been offered a red leather sofa. Grace doesn't want it. Grace doesn't want it. Does he want it? I don't think he wants it, neither. No, I love it.

And what's your mum doing with that bathroom in the garden? Harry wants that as well. Also, the mum hasn't bought a new couch herself yet. So she was really, she really wants her son to be in this relationship themselves like it's yeah It's but it's like you it's like you say if the mum's not buying a new couch How can you possibly expect the son to you know blame the parents? Is she a lazy girl? Is this what we're establishing? Are you currently in a lazy family?

Have you have hitched yourself to a lazy family and you're you know, you're you're you sound like you're a go-getter You're a recliner. You're not a recliner. You want to move on with your life There's two things you can do you can either Move in and just start Changing his life for him, right? That it that is let's face it. That's what happens But it's it is a good thing What what you you you run into though is that the guy will be like right?

Well, this is how life is now and does nothing ever and you end up doing all of the work And that's what you don't want to get yourself into that situation But you you have to you have to be the you know you you might have to just get in there Boot him up the arse and going right come on You know you you might have to just get in there boot him up the arse and going right come on We're off down wherever you're going to buy your your sofa whether it's the British Heart Foundation or Harrod's You know, I don't know what your situation is You know what he's already got a couple of laser boys. I reckon we're looking at John Lewis Well, I think so he's going Johnny Lou. Those laser boys aren't cheap man. I tell you what Johnny

He's got a couple of laser boys in there Johnny loose over No, man, that's it. That's gonna put you that's gonna put you back But but listen to this though sell the lazy boys. That's the first step That finances the sofa it gets the space for it and once those are gone Clarky you in the market for a couple of laser boys Grace get back in touch. I'll have the red leather sofa. Clark you'll have the couple of lazy boys.

Michael's mum will have his bathtub. Bish bash, bosh, we're gumtree in this situation. Is there an argument Grace? Again, without meaning to get too personal. Why don't you organize an evening where you could show him the time of his life on a sofa? Whoa! You know what I mean? And you get to say, look man, how much more fun is a sofa than a lazy boy?

And then he's like, do you know what? Because let's face it, sofas are amazing. Yeah, sofas are great. Sofas are fucking great. I'm sat on one right now, I love it. There you go. I would be sat on one if I could fucking get that out of hands on that red leather one that I'm it. There you go. I would be sat on one if I could fucking get that out of my hands on that red leather one that I'm after.

It only half fit in my shed, but I'd give it a go. I feel like you get to go, look, this is how much better a sofa is. You do all sorts on a sofa. I think that's the best way. You've got to try and convince rather than manipulate or force the situation. I mean, because how much do people really change? That's the big question here.

This is the big question. Yeah. Well, this is what your mom keeps asking you, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. How much can people change their bedsheets? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How much can people change their bedsheets? But yeah, I think I think that's it. Like how you have to ask yourself Grace, how much do people really change? And you know, is this sofa just the first step to anything else down the line in this relationship?

You know, how much are you willing to compromise and put up with And how much are you willing to compromise and put up with? How much is he willing to compromise and put up with? Yeah, how much sort of controlling are you prepared to, to, you know, you're butting up against his personality. You've had, you know, two years. Final question, completely unfurnished flat with nothing but a couple of lazy boys in there, is he a serial killer?

That's the other thing I'd like to flack out. The fridge. I've got a decapitated turtle in there. But I think even serial killers can change, right? Come on. You know, come on. Come on. Give him a chance.

Yes, he may have murdered on, give him a chance. Yes, he may have murdered in cold blood on several occasions, more than three, but come on. Don't we all deserve a second chance? You keep writing those letters cross me. You're a great pen pal, you're a great pen pal. I'm six months away from a conjugal visit. I can't wait.

I'm bringing my sofa. Um, well, what can we, what, have we got to a beef solved on this? I don't think we have. I, because I, because I, because crucially I just don't know enough information, but he, you know, he sounds like a total deadbeat grace stumping. Anyway, beef solved. know enough information but he you know he sounds like a total deadbeat grace stumping. Well Michael thank you so much for coming on the pod it's been an absolute pleasure having you on what you're gonna do with the rest of your day now you've got the whole day ahead of you. I have no idea man this is

uncharted territory really. Time for a garden bath. Hey. It's not a bad day, you know, it's quite nice out. You know, just get the hose going and yeah, enjoy yourself. Well, what a pleasure. Where can people find you? Where can people see you? You can find me on Instagram, my called a Wale comedy. I'm going on tour later this year,

September, Thoughts on Shuffle, that's the name of the tour. And you can buy tickets on the website in LinkedIn, my bio, so love to see you guys there. Great, tour support by Pappies. Ledger. Oh, we've been here. The lead to Commodore Hay ever. Hey, well, we'll see what happens.

Hey, suddenly we're blocked on every platform. My brother Wale and the legend so it's like a 60s, it's like a song. Oh yeah, we could go to Gina Washington and the Ram Jam band. Absolutely, yeah, let's do it. Let's make it happen. Michael, what a pleasure having you. Have a great day, man.

Oh, thank you guys, have me on man. It's been a treat. Don't forget, beeffellowspodcast.com or as Pierre Nevelli might put it. Send us your beefs you whining fucks. Michael on a wall there showing us how it's done. Very good. Go and check him out live. He is fantastic. Clarky, you got anything exciting coming up? Tom, of course I don't. Okay, well, please stay in touch, support the Patreon and otherwise, have a lovely time. Today's episode was produced by Emma Corsham.

Corsham team! And cheers everyone! Bye! If you have any questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with EyeGaming Ontario.