Pappy's Flatshare - Beef Brothers Cold Cuts w/ Pierre Novellie S11E35

Episode Date: August 30, 2021

The Beef Brothers are here to sort out your beef with special guest Pierre NovelliePierre Novellie - https://twitter.com/pierrenovelliePappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetIf you have a flatshare based beef you'd like us to solve then send it to [e-mail] us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareProduced by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greetings, listen here! And welcome to a Beef Brothers Cold Cuts. It's a Beef Brothers Cold Cuts indeed, thank you, Clarky. And we've got a great guest today. You know what? Yeah, go on. No, no, I was going to say we've got a great guest today. Go on, what were...

You seemed very thrown by me thanking you for saying it was a B-Frozen's curl curl. I just got very thrown by doing the intro. I was like, with that, yeah. It's tricky, isn't it? Yeah, still, still Tom, I mean, we could, the news is out now, guys, the news is out. It's been announced, it's official. Tom is writing a movie, a feature film for Amazon studios

and it's a Christmas movie. It's called Your Christmas Or Mine. It's a Christmas rom-com. It's a Christmas or mine. It's changed titles a few times since he wrote it, but yeah, it's called Your Christmas Or Mine. It's a Christmas rom-com. That is why he's not been on a few of these episodes.

He's been on the house meetings, but he's not been on the Beef Brothers coals cuts. That is also true of this episode. He's not on this one, but we do have the wonderful guest, P.N. of Ellie, who is a great guy, a great stand-up, a good friend. He's been on flat-shear slam down before, but it was nice to have him all to ourselves. Yeah, totally. It is it's a lot more it's a lot more kind of personal the beef brothers cold cuts thing. It's a nice face to face. Literally. Oh yeah. I mean we get into it. We find out. Yeah. We really get into it. We make it personal. As people who've sent beef to us find out the hard way. You know, we're not afraid to say, look the problems you. And if you think the problem might be you or somebody else, then please do send us your beefs.

Beefbrotherspodcast.gmail.com. Get in touch, send us your beefs and they could appear on an episode. Also we should say as well, if you enjoy Pierre, then he is doing a show at the Pleasants on the second and third of September. So if you're listening to this just as it comes out, second and third of September, he's doing a split show with a Garrett Milleric. He and Garrett are recording their their specials for YouTube. So there'll be a link for where he can find tickets in the show notes to this show and yeah, get along to that. Yeah, man. I wouldn't see his owl long shirt the so high theater a couple of months back

and it was so very, very good. Yeah, so brilliant. He's a brilliant, a brilliant brilliant standup and you should definitely, if you've never seen him before or even if you have, go and see him at the pleasant details in the show notes. Also, as well, if you enjoy Pierre, then you want to get on the Patreon because we've done a bonus beef with Pierre. And I imagine there'll also be, because we talked for a long time, there'll also be some extra chat from the episode. Some bonus stuff from the episode will be over on our Patreon from tomorrow onwards. So get yourself over to patreon.com forward slash pappies flat share and for just a mere

four-quid a month. Like I say, what is that? You know, what can you get for four-quid these days? Half a coffee? Exactly, yeah. A very small coffee. A pint of milk? A scooner? Yeah, I mean, sure. A pint of milk now is four-quid. And just think about that, you know, I know, sure. A pint of milk now is forquid. And just think about that, you know, I know there are a lot of vegans here who don't like milk. Well, it's the perfect milk substitute. It's that, you know, there's oat milk, there's almond milk, there's almond milk,

and there's our patron. Wack our patron on your corn flakes in the morning. Good for you. For just forquid, for a month, you get all the bonus episodes you've recorded all the way through lockdown You get new bonus episodes and bonus beefs every single week tons of bonus content so much so much to enjoy I've heard get yourself over there

We haven't said a lot of people have said it's the best value patron there is It is I think it is I'm gonna say it. I don't care. don't care. I think it's the best value Patreon out there. We work hard and look enough to our lovely patrons and we'd love you to be all of our lovely patrons. We love all of our listeners and we'd love you to, you know, we just think, you know, we just think we'd love you to be part of it.

We also work hard to look after you guys because this is a cracking episode of Beef Brothers Cold Cuts featuring the wonderful PNA Valley. Well, if you've got a problem, don't call it a problem, if you've got a problem, call it a B, if you've got a B, maybe we can help you be from the zoning at your beef. Yeah, thank you for coming on the show, man. Thank you so much for doing this. Tell us what kind of a flatmate you are.

What kind of a, what's your current setup? Well, my girlfriend just moved in like last week. Oh, congratulations. Yeah. How are you feeling? You've put me in a prime cut of beef rather this time, really. So have you lived together before at any stage?

You've never, this is the first time you guys have lived together. Never done. How long's the relationship lasted up to this point? So, lock down one year. All right, okay. One lock down year, which is about three and a half normal years.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true, yeah. Hence the decision that we made. So you met just before lockdown. We met in the Rishi Sunek, to the disease public funding window. Right, okay. So you met, you met eating out to help out.

It was a second time. That's right. Yeah. What we on the same table at Wagamama, what happened? We both tried to check into the venue at the same time. What a meek cute. What a boy has seen meek cute, that must have been. That's it, yeah. We met through a dating app and we matched and we're talking like the week before pubs came back so it was good timing.

Oh, as you go straight back into like sort of basically proper dating. Yeah, it was very lucky because otherwise it would have been walking around parks and then endlessly just talking. Yeah, like a Woody Allen or whatever. No, it's that. And yeah, so it's still very new to me. I mean, I would say in terms of what kind of flatmate I am, I lived with my flatmate before he moved out, obviously, he's not still just in the walls, walls, but well you don't know, you know, get him, get him, whenever

anybody moves out, I always suggest getting a full building survey, it cost a bit of money, but it's worth doing, because you never know who's not in the attic. Yeah, he only makes that mistake once. So he is interesting. I've known him for a very long time. So I've known him for 20 years, maybe 19 years, 20 years. And we lived together for quite a few years. And he was very, very tidy, but not clean. Right. And I'm very, very clean, but I'm not tidy. So he was,

I'm getting tidy, but I'm inherently, my mind isn't very tough. Talk us a little bit. So he was taking the dirty dishes and just putting them straight back in the cupboards. He was putting all the dust into very neat squares. His socks are always absolutely filled with. I used to live with somebody who would cut their toenails like in the front room on a magazine. And the piles they would make would be like little miniature jengers. And you couldn't fault the kind of,

the sort of artistic ability that they were putting into stacking these toenails, but at the same time it was pretty grim to walk into a room and see there's a little sort of leaning tower across. Like a little memorial. Yeah. That's a little toenail shrine. Where is, and this is a genuine question I was thinking about the other day.

Where the toenails accept a bit. End of the shows. Yeah. Right, right, okay. I've been cutting the wrong thing for quite some time. What do I hurt so much? And why I can't blink now. Where is it acceptable to cut your toenails?

I would say in the bathroom on your own? I mean, yeah, I think in the bathroom is the place to go. No one's in the bathroom. No, no. No, no. Oh, do you mind if I just soak them for a little bit? That's it. Just to soften them up.

Yeah. No, I think that's good. I wonder if it's bathroom only. Where, where, where, where, why? What have you been told you can't do it? Well, I haven't actually been told I can't do it anywhere, but I do sometimes do it in a sitting room. And I do, you know, I'm very careful that I keep older than all.

Yeah. Put them into a shrine. Yeah, of course. Of course. Depends on, depends on reckless, how recklessly they be off you. Yeah, that them into a shrine and of course, of course, depends how reckless how recklessly they They're off you that's the thing you know never mind the pinging that's happening at the moment the original Ping was the was the was the ping that you hear the scariest kind of ping was the ping you hear Somewhere around the bathroom and there would be times

Genuinely when I would be on my hands and knees on the bathroom floor feeling the ground like a god damn neth addict. You know, I tried to find out where they are fending our item and pinged away too. And the worst thing is quite often, and I'm not talking about my current setup, this was more when I lived with my family of six people. More often you'd find a nail and go, that's not one of mine. Have I found that one? That's from a previous piece.

It's a previous thing. It's a P.P. It's a P.P. So yeah, but I've got to ask you this, Clarky, when you're cutting your toenails and you are in the living room, would you be doing this when your partner's around, or would this be, Clarky's got the data himself. He's doing a little bit of self-cruing.

Yeah, I think it definitely wouldn't be if we were both in the sitting room together. She may be in the house. Right. Yeah, I think in the house is fine, but certainly not in the same room together. The thing that used to absolutely grind my gears and you'd hear it before you saw it, was people doing it on the train. If you're ever on the train.

Oh my God. Have you never seen that? You've never put all the time. Oh, that's right. I would intervene. I would intervene. It's just a rest. That's the only time it's you're allowed to pull the cord. I would just say, I'm going to see it and say it and sort this.

Whenever the lady's voice says, if you see anything unusual, I mean, I don't think it's a terrorist, but that's not what you said. You said unusual. In a way, it's a very small form of terrorism, you know, yeah, I mean, it's causing terror, and I don't know, they're political beliefs. Maybe they're waiting till they've done both toes before they say both sets of toes before they say, well, it's for. Absolutely, yeah. You know what, you could, you could definitely with a, with an accurate ping, you could take somebody's eye out. And that is the start, the very least of an uprising. I think it's definitely the work of an

insell. Because I could imagine them doing that and being like, oh, I won't tell anybody date me. I'm making myself nice. I'm cutting my toenails right here. You can tell. No one is even looking at me. By the way, I'm really enjoying the insult voices. Yours was really, your sounded like Michael Shane. I'm imagining, yeah, when he's in his more scraggly modes,

you know, when they do Insel the movie. He'd play a great Insel. He'd pick, he'd pick Fantastic Insel. So obviously, we've moved quite far away from the question in hand. How has it been going so far this first, do you think you're a week in living together? Yes, I think it is just that maybe, well, we could know two weeks, but it's still very recent, but no, it's going well.

I think a really big part of it is the fact that because I'm clean but not tidy, I like things to be clean which is good, but I don't care where anything goes. You don't care about next. I don't care if someone says, the spoons always have to be behind the door. I'll just go, all right, and now I'll go, remember, that's where the spoons are from now on. I don't care where they are. So I can adapt very easily to if someone moves in and they go, it's ridiculous that we don't have pans stored here in the freezer. I'll just go, yeah, that is mad. And I'll just do that. I don't care. I can know

interested. Right. Why not least, as long as the pans are clean. Yeah, so you're bringing cleanliness to the house. And, and so has there been a situation now where your partner has been going around the house going, it's mad that this is here. Is that her set up? Is that her sort of glitch? She's been very nice if she has thought

that anything was particularly nuts. She's made sort of very cautious suggestions as if expecting me to go, but that's where I like there to not be a candle. I hate ambient light. The darkness of that corner is its charm. That is its charm. That's right. The room is in darkness or it is lit clinically like a mong.

Be from a zoning like a beast! Hi puppies and great guests if there is one. There is. There is a great guest. Long time listener and patron. First time writer. Love a first time, I'm saying it anyway. Love a patron member as well.

Thank you so much. Yes indeed. I hope these beaves aren't too boring, but take it or leave it. Thanks for all the work. Wow. Like it. Like the real love the podcast. Well thank you for all the fun as well. There's real, there's like a real defense mechanism going on here, you know, from the from the I don't want to I don't want to psychoanalyze who who is this from I'll tell you who it's from it is from Eva either right. I don't want to psychoanalyze either too much, but it feels like

You know Eva back yourself a little bit You know, yeah, I'm sure your beefs aren't boring. They've made it onto the pod. They've made it onto the main feed. And there's a lot going on here. I hope these beefs aren't too boring, but take it all of you. It's a real jackal and hide we're getting from either here. Self-deprecating.

And then coming on full on Ray Winston. Yeah. She's, I'm sure she's interesting. She's got the same name as Hitler's girlfriend. I mean, that's already interesting. More interesting than that. Yeah. She knows what happened in that bunker.

Speaking of the bunker, back to her, back to her beef. My mother is a half-job Harry. The most irritating example of this is she will take things out of the dishwasher and then leave them on the side inches from the cupboard where they belong. Why? She has been known to take washing out the machine and fold it up neatly so someone can hang it out. She says it just gets the ball rolling. This seems path- path-ag to me. Do you think, wrestling? You could finish the job in a similar amount of time. Right. Should we have a quick chat about this before we move on to the other ones? Firstly, I love the expression half a job Harry. I really

like that. I've not heard that before. Had you heard that before? I've never heard that. I mean, and it's good. Any new phrase where you can immediately comprehend what the hell it's on. You're out of the job, Harry. I really like it. Like a dirty Harry who only have had three bullets. You just ran out. I bet you feel really lucky, punk. Yeah, I'm lucky. No, I didn't. With the last guy guy anyway. So the thing about this is, I'm not sure if these are, I think you're right, Clark. I think these aren't. This isn't half a job she's doing here. She's doing a different job. Right? If you take the washing out of the outgoing, that's one of the tasks. Absolutely. Yeah, but she hasn't done a bit of it. She's done a different thing.

Folding up neatly is an unnecessary job, but it's a good thing. Yeah, she skipped a job, Harry. To the point where straight into the drawers, yeah, you guys saw it. But yeah, so she... Sorry, go on. What says, oh wait, so the clue, yeah, the clue thing thing is different from the plates thing.

Like the, it was the dishwasher, right? It was the other one. Yeah, unpacking the dishwasher onto the counters. That is mad. Yes, yeah. That's more mad than the clothes thing. I'll say this that my wife does that, but then does the rest of it.

So she will take things out first and put them all out on the counter as if to be like, okay, I just wanna sort of see that my wife does that, but then does the rest of it. So she will take things out first and put them all out on the counter as if to be like, okay, I just want to sort of see what I'm dealing with here. Whereas I am very much, I'll take a plate out, I'll put the plate away, you know. Yeah, okay. So your wife does it like, as if all the plates and spoons and things were pictures of a crime scene, exactly.

He's just trying to, because it's too could have done this. Mapping them out over the counter in order to work out. Is it all with pieces of red string? It's a very arduous process. But again, these are just two different ways of doing the same job. What Eva's mum's doing here is a completely different thing. She's, that is going going somebody else can do it although Who's who's stacking the dishwasher in the first place? Who's turning the dishwasher on who's wiping down the counters at the end of the day

Once everyone's gone to bed. I get the feeling it's gonna be mum, right? It's gonna be mum or it's gonna be dad It's not gonna be one of the kids. I don't want to assume, but I also wonder if she's like, well, there's dirty stuff. That needs to go into the dishwasher. But no one's emptied the dishwasher since I filled it the previous night. So I'm going to quickly take everything out of the dishwasher so I can put the dirty stuff in and someone else can put the dishes away.

Absolutely. Absolutely. This is a definite sign that we're getting older, that we start relating in these stories to the parents. They're absolutely one ragged looking after you. Do you pay rent? You don't. Do you pay your way? But yeah, I think the taking them washing out the machine isn't getting the ball rolling. I think taking it out of the machine and just leap out, although I, here's the thing.

The alternative to that is you leave it in like a, in a basket, you leave it in like a, one of those plastic washing baskets. And after a while, it all starts to crumple, it all starts to palm. So at least folding up neatly. You've got, you've got gotta get it out there quick. Gotta get it out there sharpish.

I feel you don't want that must. Yeah exactly, you don't want the musty smell. I think actually that your mother Eva is probably a most jobs Harry. She's a most jobs Margaret. Let's call her that. Oh nice. most, she's a most jobs Margaret. Let's call her that. Oh nice. I think she's a most jobs Margaret and occasionally, you know, most jobs Margaret becomes end of her tetheredna and she goes, I'm going to have to, I look, I can't do all of this because I've also got a life myself. So I'm just going to leave these plates out on the counter. I'm just going to fold these up and hope somebody develops a conscience and goes, well,

maybe I should be doing that as well. Because here's the thing as well. I think probably in our house, there's sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, clucky. No, no, no. I think in our house, it's an even split between who empties the dishwasher, right, between myself and my wife. I feel like if you're noticing this happening all the time, it means you're very rarely the first person to think, oh, that dishwasher's full, or it's finished at cycle, I should do it. Yeah.

I think that's the situation we're in. Sorry, sorry, Eva. Next beef. My brother, 23, and I have a great relationship. Lovely. And when he gets home from work, we are off 23 and I, I thought it was 23 and me, isn't it?

Come on, guys. Come on, we want that. Come on, everyone. That's good handsestry.com. It's got material in it too. That's good handsescue.com. It's got the tier listening too. When he gets home from work, we will often put something on the CV for us to watch together before we do tea.

Before we do tea, they'll sound like they're cooking. Maybe we're doing a bit too much for the chicken. Okay, maybe I shouldn't have come in so hard. So early doors. Do you know what, we so rarely agree with the person who's sending us a beef. I think we're really contrarian. I feel like we do it all the time. We're like, I'll tell you what,

I think it's actually your fault. We do, don't we? You guys just don't like complainers. It's just the shame that you host a complaining podcast. And it didn't really seem to be asking for people. Please send us your beef. I don't know why people are being forthcoming with them. Oh, what? You fucking piece of shit. Let the record show I never called either a piece of shit. I just said that her mum was run ragged and that's a very separate thing. Send us your beef, you whining fox.

I think we'll clip that out and use that in the future if you're reposite. Let's forget beeffulerspodcast.gmail.com or as Pierre Nivelli might put it, send us your beef, you whining fox. Forget people as podcasts at gmail.com or as PN if any might put it Seneshoe beef shewining bucks Yes before we do the tea however He almost always falls into a deep sleep within two minutes It's what tea time happen

Yeah, it's a lot of them happen. I know where this is gonna go. Listen, he's got, he's got a busy job! He's probably a doctor or something. Yeah, it's not telling you he's a neurosurgeon. He's key worker Kevin. He's falling asleep with grey matter still on his fingers. He's falling asleep with grey matter still on his fingers. So he's falling into a deep sleep, right? This will often happen whilst I'm speaking to him. It's because you're boring piece of shit! And I'll only realise when he doesn't answer, although he sometimes does this when he's awake so. yeah, sure, we've all the day.

He put on evil genius, which had some controversy as it shows actual footage of a man dying after a bomb attached to his neck detonates. He fell asleep and didn't see this happen, and even me to be haunted for several weeks by the image. I'll tell you what, I saw that same documentary. It's harrowing. Oh boy, I tell you what, Megan was, I was watching it with Megan, she was so tense and I was like, why are you tense? Obviously he gets out of this. They wouldn't show if bangANK OF HE COS!

I was so certain. I was like, yeah, it's gonna be fine. It's gonna be about, you know, what happened in this scenario. It won't be so grim as to actually see the... Because I, it's not even that I thought we were gonna see it as I started to happen. Yeah, I was like applying I thought we were going to see it as I started to happen. Yeah. I was like applying Hollywood logic to real life. It's, they don't do it on Netflix where they say, by the way, you know, if your viewers of a sensitive disposition should know that this contains, you know, whatever. But I mean, I guess they didn't do it because it's a big spoiler.

But it's quite a useful spoiler to have, isn't it? But you know, for them, for them. Will he get out of it? You are alert of the following documentary making the scenes of a man's head being blown off by an explosive nexus. It's really bad, it's really bad. Or will it?

Or maybe it will, maybe it won't. Or will it. And you're watching faces of death. So, to be honest. So yeah, so we've got a brother who falls asleep and puts on snuff movies before he does it. Okay. And then finally, and finally, my dad, he announces every time when he's going to have a poo, which he then does with the door open.

Okay. No. I'm entirely on his side, Eva. You know what, we gave you a tough time, but that is unacceptable. He has a dire, Is this all still Eva? This is all still Eva, yeah. It's the same thing.

Oh my God. This is a poor unfortunate, she's given us a three for. Yeah, it either poor old either is yeah absolutely absolutely tortured here either sat there harrowed to her core mums putting wet clothes on a shelf the dad's sitting with the door open and the brothers asleep yeah we're giving her a hard time about all we really should have read to the end before we made it into old. I think actually she did that kind of in the right order though because it made you go

because here's the thing, living with other people, living with multiple other people is a cumulative thing, isn't it? That it's not, you know, like if she was just living with her with her mum, we'd never have received a message. If it was just her brother, again, the same thing, but it's got the combination of all three of them that is driving her to to breaking point. What's her recourse now? Because...

I think... Yeah, gone. Well, if her dad's shitting with the door open, I mean, he's almost by definition immobilized, right? Absolutely, you'd hope so. But It depends on his technique, but yeah. Yeah. Half of it circle around like a crow or a dog back finished the half a job, Harry. Um, after he's a half job, Harry, he won't even do his own full shit. Um, no, she should get a supersoaker and just shoot him through the open

doorway. That's good. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Every time he's got a jackass style, she should get a supersoaker and just shoot him through the open door way. That's good. Yeah, yeah, totally. Every time he's got a jackass style, she needs to turn her into a jackass house. Yeah, she needs to become a bit more bat margera and his dad. That's exactly what he wanted to do. Tuck her, chuck her alligator into the open door. Yeah. Yeah. So the dad's going to close the door with enough crazy antics that plates left on the side are gonna all smash on the floor So that's you know that's a lesson learned and it'll be too exciting for the brother to fall asleep turn your house into

Tom's Tom Green's house in the 90s basically Have you reign of terror have you considered getting a Have you... Rain of terror. Have you considered getting an airbrush of two women 69ing on the front of your brother's car? Because... Because...

Then he wouldn't, and he's not gonna be falling asleep. Certainly not on the wheel anyway. Never. But, yeah, I mean, I think, I think the mother one, it sounds like if you're doing, if you're making tea for the family, then you are doing your work. I I think the mother one, it sounds like if you're making tea for the family,

then you are doing your work. I think with the mother one, just look to the mum and see, am I still, you know, despite being a grown-up, am I still slightly in kid mode? Am I still living like I've lived when I was 12 or 13 and let mum do all the jobs while I don't pull my weight around the house? Think about that, that's fine. With the brother and the dad, I think nothing that a supersocratic

Claxon horn can't solve. I think this is it. Go, go, Jackass, go slapstick on them. And yeah, yeah, this is kind of, yeah. Half Jackass, half Mark's brothers. What was the great thing they used to do to people on Jackass? How does antiquing work again? half marks brothers. What was the great thing they used to do to people on on on on jackass? How does antiquing work again?

It's really just throwing flour in their face when they're... But nobody don't you put no don't you put flour in their hand? Don't you put flour in their hand while they're asleep and then tickle their face and they and they rub their face and they antique themselves? No. Or is that and they rub their face and they antique themselves. No. Or is that taking the whipped cream? That's with whipped cream.

Oh, okay, right. And teaky is just like a hand-full of flour and forcefully thrown. Somebody can make a statue. Well, I think, yeah, bring back, you know what? This is great actually because it means you get to be extra grown up with your mom, extra childish with your brother. It's a perfect combination. And with your brother and with your dad. Yeah, definitely.

When your dad's on the low, dush load of flour into his face, when your brother falls asleep, you know, attach electrodes to his nut sack and then drive him off a cliff, you know, being driven by Henry Rollins, all that kind of stuff. Yeah, I feel like that's... This is... this to me is absolutely perfect. And sorry we were so mean to you, E.V., you seem like a good person.

Be yourself. Be from the starting, I can be! Be yourself! Dear Papis and esteemed guests, thank you. I'm never... I'm never esteemed enough for my liking. How, how esteemed do you think the word esteemed suggests? Like, you know, esteemed in that instance suggests just present, doesn't it? Yeah, in this instance, you mean the word esteemed. Yeah, when they say esteemed guests, they just mean

well, whoever's there. It's it's deemed enough to have come to the notice of one of you guys. Yes, I think that's I which is, you know, that's pretty high esteem. It's, you know, you don't know everyone. Not yet. That's literally God forbid or I'll never be a steamed again. Yeah. You're just lucky. We've got all the mates.

Dear puppies and a steamed guest. It's because you never sympathize when they complain to you. You got your fucking. This is a very good point. I'm day. You're a little bit nicer. You know, we never we never we never have a greater pool to pull from. Yeah.

Dear puppies and a steam guest, I have a greater pool to pool from. Yeah. Dear Pappies and the same guests, I have a beef with my housemate and partner. So this is one person I figured out. Oh, yes. Okay. Well done. This is where he gets all his esteem from. This is what he's sort of steamed.

That's right. I have a beef with my housemate and partner that needs to be dealt with. My partner and I work in a similar neighborhood, so we drive in together each day. This causes a fair amount of friction because if one of us is running a bit late, it makes the other late two. I try to maximize morning efficiency to make sure we get out of the door on time, but my partner has the worst, as in capitals, tooth brushing habit, teeth brushing habit, tooth brushing habit.

Oh, depends how many does he have? Yeah, maybe one big one. Yeah, maybe he's like, maybe he's like, no, no, no, smile. From big tin opener. He has the worst tooth brushing habit which costs us minutes every morning. He scrolls through the news on his phone while he brushes his teeth.

This turns a two-minute job into a pathetic 10-minute multitasking nightmare, where he half-heartedly massages his teeth while checking basketball statistics or COVID numbers. Um, I've tried. I've tried the direct approach, EG telling him to brush his teeth properly without the phone, but to no avail. Help me be brothers, do I need to find him a novelty toothbrush? A cage for his phone? How do I get him to improve his tooth efficiency? Cheers everyone by Eleanor, who is frequently six or seven minutes till late to work.

Right. Okay, Eleanor. Now, I feel like, I feel like if you brush your teeth for 10 minutes, even if you're doing it in quite a half-hearted way, that's gonna cause some inflamed gums. Yeah, I think sort of, some mushing, a non-electric toothbrush around your mouth

for 10 minutes. That must be pain. That's that to me. I'm picturing him going, oh, you know, my boys are doing well in the basketball matches and then spitting out like great gobs of blood into the sink and then back to the phone. And just the clink clank of three more teeth. That's why it's teeth brushing. It used to be teeth brushing when he first started and they've all just dropped out of his gob. He's worn them down to nuts. I Kobe as he spits another tooth straight down the hole. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, I imagine, bad, but again, Ellen is not, her worry is not with his dental hygiene, it's not with her timekeeping, basically. The impact it's having in six or seven minutes late, that she's regularly being to work. So I would I will admit that I am a long toothbrush in a similar vein actually, but

This is maybe the solution. I have an electric toothbrush that only does two minute bursts Does it cut out afterwards? Yeah, it's up because you're done right you're done boy, and I say, I'll tell you when I've had enough, and I do it again. That is the problem with these electrified brushes, unless they're like mission impossible still self-destruct within your mouth. And then that's it, you have to get a new one every day. You can just start it up again, he's like, well, I haven't quite finished with my scrolling. I'd love to know, but she's not told us here, who is the driver?

Because if you are the driver, Eleanor, just go. And I think, yeah, I think you just go and you go, you have to be clandestined about it. You can say, look, I'm leaving in three minutes. You've started brushing your teeth. You've been brushing your teeth for two. That's pretty much adequate now. I'm leaving in three minutes, get your shoes on, get in the car and go.

And if not, just slam the door and off you go. I feel like you have to do that. Because otherwise, all it will take is one day of him attempting to make it to that neighborhood where you both work on public transport and he'll go, you know Well forget this had a great thing going. I don't need my teeth Yeah, create a scenario where it's like when one of your sims had to go to work And they put my prayer as I could car outside Someone you've never met driving it

Yeah, and you have to carpool to work even though you're a general in the arm And you have to carpool to work even though you're a general in the army. It's terrible. You tacked pool to work instead of crying and winging on the floor because Clarkies sealed you in your own house. Taken all the floor. So yeah, I feel like with this something has to happen because unfortunately with bad behavior, you're just... someone out there is enabling this bad behavior and you know there's any two people in the situation the person is behaving badly and the

enabler so look around and it's got it's got it's got it's got to be you and again I'm not again I know this is another case of us guys you're in the wrong I don't think I don't think what you do another case of us going, you're in the wrong. I don't think, I don't think, I don't think, I don't think you're in the wrong. I just feel like you, you need to be a lot less lenient with your dear partner. I think you've just got to go look, or, you know what, come on, make, make tooth brushing a family activity. Now admittedly, that's, it's a family activity in our house, because we have a young daughter. So we put on a, you know, we put on one of the many toothbrushing songs that are available

on YouTube. Whether it's Hayduggy or a Coca-Mellan or a simple songs or a blippy or something like that and we will brush along with the song, they're usually, they're deliberately two minutes, we've all got electric toothbrushes. We all brush along and you know what, it's sure it's going to be a little bit infantilizing for your partner, but you know what, once you get into it, it's a lot of fun. That hey, Dougie, the hey, Dougie toothbrushing song is a banger. Chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-ch brush your toe. And then, you're gonna get your nose comes. Brow, no, brow. Brow, it comes to worst. He'll, where's comes to worst, you'll get addicted. You'll wanna watch more videos and then you'll at least you'll both be late

but you'll agree that it was worth it. Absolutely, do it. Yeah. You know what, I actually saw, hey, Dougie, do that some live. And halfway through, he stopped and just started talking to her at the milk shake, the milk shakeakes on the other side of the place.

He's like, they're really milkshakes in there. For a second, I was like, how did you see Hey, Doug, you've got really excited. Yeah, those tickets have been sold out for years. That's the thing when, you know, you get to a point where, you know, Spotify sends you your like roundup of the year. This year is going to be the first time that I think like, you're like round up of the year. This year is gonna be the first time that I think like, you know, the usual suspects like Steely Dan and R.I.M.

are not gonna even make the top five. It'll be the Wiggles, Blippi, Cochamelin, Little Baby Bum. It'll be all of those people will be like, you know. You know every year, they're like, you're already into alternative and chamber psych and all this kind of stuff. It would just be you're into kid songs because you've got a kid, that's your algorithm now. A Charlie was saying it the other day,

all of her, you know how little daily mixes that Spotify will make you, they are all like, oh, you wanna hear 14 different versions of the wheels on the bus, don't you? That turns out I do. But I was, I was genuinely excited when you genuinely excited when you said, hey, Dougie there, because that's like, if there was a hey, Dougie live show, I would be there in a heartbeat. If the Wiggles came to the UK, I mean, the Wiggles are an Australian act and they're huge.

I think they might even be Australia's biggest live performers. They're huge on the set. Yeah, they're in, they're actually famous. But if they, if they came to Britain, I would be the most excited person in that gig. I would be so, I would be, honestly, I would be wetting myself. I'd have to go in an appy

because I would be so excited to see the wigels. I'd be in tears, honestly. I'd be, I would be like, you know, the... You'd be like a baby. I'd be crying and then getting yourself in that big. Exactly, I would revert. I'd be like, I'd be like a little toddler if you can all over myself.

It would be, yeah, it would be the biggest gig of my life. I'd love it. But... Was there a point out of curiosity? Because I thought, I imagine this would be really funny. If like halfway between a human and a werewolf where your Spotify playlist was like, well, you know, we've got the man by the killers

who got some strokes in here. There's a bit of harvest moon. You know, an old man took a look at my life. I'm a lot like you. And then, of course, and then wheels on the bus is just jutting in the never tried to cut the shot of the two tastes. That's what they need to do. Yeah. Yeah. Which wiggle song blends seamlessly

into the start of, you know, the chain. Yeah, they, but then the wiggles, the wiggles did, the wiggles did a song by Taiman Parla. They covered a song by Taiman Parla the other day. No. To, yeah. They know their crowd. They performed on Triple J, which is, you know, the sort of cool indie rock radio station in Australia.

And the idea is that like bands come on and play somebody else's song. And they got the Wiggles on to do a a Taemin Palo song and it was great. You got the Wiggles to do a cover of Creek. I mean it's really good. I mean they're just great. I just love them. Which is good because I think when you have kids you assume that all the music is going to be awful. Like you assume it's going to be really, you know, inane, and some of it is. But if there's a couple of bands you like, then you can, you can kind of deal with it.

But she's stuck. You can flourish. She's stuck like, I like Christian rock, isn't it? Absolutely, yeah. There must be a few good, good chrysso bands out there. Costerists. I mean, there's got to be. They're practicing if anything more,

because they're not hung over, they're not drinking. This is true, yeah. They're up early on a Sunday morning with their instruments, as opposed to crawling over the load of hypodermic needles. They're not late. So one thing that I've got, they're mini-bussed to the font. not late. So one thing you said about your baby? They're mini-bussing to the font. Never late.

So are we happy with our solution of saying, watch a little baby bum while you're brushing your teeth? Yeah, yeah. Just take a look. Take a look into your blood and toothpaste's flecked mirror and say, this ends now. Yep, it has to it has to end now but it begins you know a new chapter begins with Hey Duggy. New solved. So Pierre now you mentioned that you had been living with a farmhand.

mentioned that you had been living with a farmhand. Yeah, an able-bodied villager. Yeah, absolutely. Constantly, add one of those sticks with buckets on either end of it. He was like one of the villagers from, yeah, it's like one of the villagers from Age of Empires too, which is sort of shirtless and blue trousers,

sort of always busy hammering on the floor, building sort of here. Wittling something, you know, forging something or whittling something, or some sort of earthy pursuits. But is that who your beef is with, or do you have a more currently, do you have beef with your current partner,

or is it dangerous territory to get into a fortnight until from living with you to? Actually, this, it might be, well no, this is quite a funny one I think. So my partner has, when I say she has a phobia of snakes, I mean like a genuine phobia. Not just like, oh, I don't like this. I mean, it's like, is it like an irrational feel like she's worried they'll come into the house? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I, I, I, I, I, a real legit, legit phobia. And I don't, I mean, I'm, you know, I'm not inviting them in, or anything.

I don't mind them, I guess. But I don't, I don't think about them. I mean, they're pretty, they're pretty rare in, in the UK, like you might get like a kind of grass snake or something like that, but you're not, you know, even those, unless you're out in the countryside and you're really looking for them, you don't see them very often. Yeah, I've never seen. Well, she's worried. So, well. She is worried about local drug dealers, golf kids and movie animal trainers,

all the three types of people who have snakes. That's fair. That's fair. Oh, it's one of those kind of fears where she's thought about every, she's totally catastrophizing. She's thought about every eventuality. To be fair, right? The biggest snake in the world. thought about every, she's totally catastrophised it. She's thought about every eventuality. To be fair, right?

The biggest snake in the world is currently in someone's living room, I think, in the West England's. It's like a reticulated python, which is the biggest problem. There's a person who knows about this. So are you just, there's something you just, what have you just, this other you just, what have you done then? And right now, it should

be about the time it strikes. What Clark, you're doing with this podcast is like, is like a really mean version of that NTV, so you're on Null's house party, he's going to click his fingers and you're suddenly going to realize that the snake is in your living room. One lucky patron member is going to get a snake appear in their living room. What just, it's just somebody's pet, and they just, yeah, it's just curled up on the floor and front of their time. It's absolutely ginormous. So, and this is the things, all these news articles

about like some guy who was like, you can infer from the article was a sort of the local weed dealing, like eccentric, who had a kind of terrarium or whatever you'd call it, full of snakes. And he gets too high or he knocks over the cage or the glass. And in the end, you know, one of them is coming up the nibs. Yeah, yeah, it's, he gets. Never get high on your own supply around snakes. That's the rest of that advice.

And it escapes and it crawls up someone's toilet and bites the nut sack or whatever, or scares the kid. And there's that, that has happened. That's not made up. But she is very worried that a snake will come up through the toilet. Oh, no.

And so, yeah, yeah, yeah, not while she's on it necessarily, but I only know this because the other night she said, did you put the toilet lid down? I thought, see, so I was like, yeah, yeah, see, you know, and then she's like, no, the lid, the lid. Oh, right. And I was like, why? And she goes, well, snakes, I mean, she knows it's man.

She doesn't look at me like I'm insane. Well, you know what, this is actually the second episode on the bounce of Beef Brothers Code, your cold cuts, that people have mentioned snakes, because your panel hate this, but Izzy told us an absolutely crazy story. In fact, I don't think I actually made it in the episode, it was on the Patreon about a woman who opened her mouth

and a snake came out of her mouth and then went back in. Do you remember that story, blackie? What? In fact, yeah, she was like, she completely forgot. In fact, we put it on that, we ended up on the Patreon, not on the main episode, but, but you know, some snake had laid an egg in her stomach

and it would come up through her mouth and... It was like a ringworm type situation, but it was a sort of kind of, but it was like a snake that does that kind of thing. Snake that kind of buries your stomach. We were very scared. I don't think it really happened, it didn't really happen. But so what other like, is she,

so she knows the toilet is a place is she like you've got I've got to have the plug in the bath at night have you got a sort of bored up the the letter box in case a snake gets delivered by you know DHL you do table Yeah, well get it's another you do to have all your vents gonna be closed up in case you see teams comes through And this is it this is it I dare I dare and even mention Mr. Toons. If you think you've done it. I said, like, any snake worth its salt, worth being worried about, can surely like, bonk, bonk, it's head on the lid and open it up.

Oh, yeah, you didn't say that. I was going to say that, bonk, bonk, it's head on the lid and open it up. And oh, yeah, you didn't say that. I was gonna say that, but then, but then you don't really want to suggest that, do you? Oh, no, you should be. Don't worry about that. You're doing it, say, they can be, they can be a snake in your hair right now. Ha, ha, ha.

Has she had an Indiana Jones style encounter with snakes that led her to be so afraid of them. She wasn't afraid of snakes as a child and she actually held one on a kind of zoo trip when she was like seven or eight and her mother and her aunt are incredibly phobic and they transferred this onto her at some point in the formative years. And she was saying that she knows that she didn't used to be or whatever and yeah, and so it's she's one of the things you pick up I mean I Guess it's contagious my my old flatmate and I the weirdest thing that we started doing in couldn't stop was we developed a kind of voluntary

Eccolalia what's Eccolalia? Oh what so Eccolalia is a thing where if someone makes a sound, you have to repeat it. It's a form of compulsive disorder. So like, if somebody, if somebody, like grunts when they're sitting down, you emulate the grunt. You have to go, ooh, yeah, I have to do this grunt as well. So you can be a... So you can't sleep running around your house going, fucking hell, it might be a snake in the bag in the bath.

Snake? Snake? Yeah, snake, snake. Yeah, just yelling it. No, but me and my old flatmate, I live near a recycling plant. So there's a lot of lorries and I live near railway tracks. It's a nicer flat than it sounds. There's a lot of lorries and there's a lot of trains going by. And so the lorries honk at each other

and the trains honk as well, where it's quite, it's on the railways that run to King's Cross. So there'll be a lot of like, there's kind of like, from outside or like that kind of train. Very hot. Kind of slightly. Right.

You're doing Michael Winslow. You're doing, yeah, you're just recreating all of the noises that are happening in the house. But we would just do it with those two because we found them so annoying that we would spitefully impersonate them back out the window at the train, as if to go, well, fuck you, train.

And then it became a compulsion. Yeah. And have you managed to get rid of it now that he's gone? Or do you find yourself still doing it and haven't explained to you upon? Oh, yes, or I do this because I've gone mad. It faded away. But we would do it eventually

without even looking up from what we were doing. Like one of us could be frying an egg and the other one would be reading a book and the train would go, as I went past, we both go to ourselves without looking out. It's actually the way you put it there, that's saying, actually sounds quite sweet. Yeah, it's quite nice.

But that's I think why it's addictive. But anyway, yeah, so hopefully I don't get a fear of snakes transferred onto me. Yeah, because that's them. So, so the, so the, are you trying to work out now? Is your beef that you want to cure her of her fear of snakes or? Yeah, I've suggested a trip, you can do these trips to London Zoo where they, they've slowly introduced you to ever more polite snakes or whatever. I feel like with somebody who's got a fear that's that great. I think even the train journey to London Zoo is going to be really really tense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, she's not in favour of it yet, but you know, we may be hypnotherapy or something.

Yeah, yeah, I was gonna suggest that. Yeah, I'll do that. It's an option. I'm pretty sure. You just swing this side to the side. You just swing this side to the side. That's gonna be cool. We don't show up at the hypnotus office

and he goes, now I've got a clarinet in a basket. So. Woo-hoo! Go, go, go, we gotta go, we gotta go. I know where this is heading. It's,'s, it's, it's, it's a tricky one. But it is a tricky one. The thing is with snakes, I don't have a fear of them, particularly, you know, like I would really jump if one came out, came out the lure when you were going for a pee.

Of course. Yeah. came out the Lou when you were going for a pee. Yeah, of course. But I, they're one of those things I totally get it. They're mad. They did it. They're mental and also some of them, some of them can kill you. I mean, not lots of them, but some of them can. The ones that can kill you, they can really kill you. They can kill you in a variety of unpleasant ways. But I have a solution, so don't worry, we've got the solution. Pierre, now, great.

You are still in the honeymoon phase of your relationship. You've only been together a short while in the grand scheme of life. Possibly the time when you open up, as they say, in love island, you become vulnerable, you know, you become vulnerable in front of one another. And I think it's good time to reveal your kink that you've had for a long time that you like to fuck in a snake costume. So you say to her, look, I didn't want to say this, I know, and you don't do it in a in a in a in a brush where you do it as as respectful as you would have any of your conversations about your love making. So you say, look, I've got the costume, this by the way, and just

to say, look, it's a new costume because it's a new relationship. I've had costumes in the past, they're burned and in incinerator. I'm not going to, I don't want to, I don't want to make love to you. It's like, I shed them, I shed them, I shed them, in fact they're in the shed, which I then set fire to. But you say, I, and so what you say, look, maybe wait till, if you've got a birthday coming up or an anniversary, something like that, you say look, this means a lot to me, it's my kink.

And you then spend a night making love, dressed as a snake. And she goes, well actually, I like this snake because she, because ultimately she likes, she likes you. I mean, it might look a little bit like in a, like both eat snakes. But, but, but, I mean, what you don't want is the further costume to look too much like you've been eaten by a snake. You know, you're ahead popping out of this snake's mouth. I think it wants to be, you wanna get somebody

who can do a realistic doctor who's gonna make up on your face, you know, you want the contact lenses with the eyes, you want to little thoughts tongue hanging off your lip, that kind of stuff. And so this is me, take me as amulet. So it's not a fetish in that I can only wish you'll know that already presumably, but you know I it doesn't have to be this, but you know once in a while I like to you know visit the snake. It starts small and it could just just the penis like a snake. Exactly yeah. Or just a finger. Just a finger don't just make it just

Exactly, yeah. Or just a finger. Just a finger, don't say that. Yeah, just a, just, you know, just joking, stroking various erogenous zones. It's painted diamond back pattern on the finger. Exactly, exactly. Until eventually she's, and until eventually, there will be, there will be an occasion.

It might not be, you know, it might not be within the next 12 months. It might not be today. It might not be today, it might not be tomorrow. But eventually, at some point, every time she sees a snake she's going to get a horn. Exactly. And then you've got yourself a new problem. That's right. That's an even this is a real old lady who swallowed a mouse to cast the fly over and out. That's five. No, it's nights when she gives you that, you know,

she maybe she had a couple of glasses of wine and she looks at you and she says, Pierre, leave the toilet lit up tonight. You know, you know we're in for a good time. Let's have some sex. Yeah. Yeah, I could, yeah, I could acclimatize. I could get a lizard and she'll be fine with it.

And then I'll chop off the lizard's arms and legs and go, see? Oh, you could do that. The same. The same thing, really, isn't it? So slowly, slowly do a boxing hellenir on a lizard. But I still think my one is better because it's beautiful. I think yours is better.

It's not a bad reference, is it? I'm just going to stick with dresses of snake and make love. You know. You know what? It doesn't have to make love. You can just cuddle for the first time. It doesn't have to be anything really. But just a client.

Sure. The friend is. Yeah, sure. You've got a cuddle and then you half way through, you're going to be like, by the way, I'm a boa. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER Has that helped you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

You could say it doesn't even have to be sex. I can dress as a snake and slow roast a shoulder of lamb. Exactly, just a snake around the house until she goes, actually. And they need it whole. Some snakes are all right. Some snakes make breakfast. It's just great.

I think that's part of the reason why people don't like snakes. Why? Because they're a bit slithery and too, because they've never cooked. You know what, they're not even a half a job, Harry. No, you're not. That's right. Some snakes make breakfast sounds like a kind of a piece of really like street advice.

Yeah, yes, it does, doesn't it? It's like a PSA type advert, isn't it? Do you know, watch out, son. Some snakes make breakfast. Wow, what does that mean? Yeah, thank you so much for coming on the show. It's been a total pleasure having you. It's been my pleasure. Do you have anything to plug? I do. So I believe this is coming out on the 31st of August.

Last day of the month. Yeah. Not a great time to tell me you're doing Edinburgh. Yeah. It is happening. 31st of August. Okay, so the second and third of September, myself and friend and excellent comedian, Garrett Millerick. Oh, wonderful. Yeah. We're both doing, well, he's doing his kind of sold out five star fringe show with some new stuff and

I'm doing a kind of best off. I'm doing sort of 20 minutes and new 40 minutes of the best of my stand up for the last five years and we're recording it for YouTube and we're doing all this at the Pleasants Islington. Oh brilliant. Oh that'll be so fun. Yeah and in fact, if you guys are free you should you should come and Names names on the door for the for the beef boys obviously. Thank you so much So second and third of September we're recording a sort of two two like a you know, and one of us will do an hour interval pints Second one will do their hour and we'll film a doll and put on YouTube on the second and

You've got the chance list a dear to dear, to be an audience member at a special. That's what they call them these days. These are special, you're recording specials for YouTube. That's very exciting. Your laughter will be immortalized forever on the internet. Yeah. Get yourself down there. They're both brilliant.

I mean, like, are they going out? Are you putting them out separately or are they going out? Are you putting them out separately or are they going out as a sort of a two? Oh, separately. It's not as kind of saying, there's a real sort of beard connection there as well. It's like, it's a very, it's a night of big guys with beards, you know? It's a night of big guys with beards.

And that is a confusing way to advertise it, but it will get you proud again. It'll get the old Pognophiles in, wouldn't it? It's definitely a few will show up. But yeah, so if you if you've enjoyed Pierre on this episode, then definitely get along. His stand up is fantastic. Garrett is fantastic as well. They're both brilliant.

Yeah, treat yourself guys. We'll stick a we'll stick a link in the show notes as well so that people know where to where to get the tickets. Thanks for that much. Good luck, man. Good luck. Fine. Oh, by the way, if anybody knows of where to get a snake costume do you Contact Pierre on Twitter DM him Send him send in the links. He doesn't want to listen. Don't get ideas that he doesn't want to get involved in a sort of sort of whatever the Whatever the furry's equivalent of snakes is slitheries. He doesn't want to get involved in a sort of slithery group

He's just doing it for his relationship He doesn't get involved with the bit of diapers. Slitherin. I don't want to join Slitherin. Exactly But he doesn't need the costume Thanks so much, Pierre. It's been lovely having you on the show. Thanks, man. Thanks for having me, guys. Brilliant. So, what an app. There we go. What a strong app. And I think this can be the first time we do this, but we can say beefbrotherspodcast at gmail.com, send us your beefs or as Pierre Navelle, you would have it. Send us your beefs, your whining fucks. Right, anything else to say at the end of this ep? We love you.

Farky. We love you all. We love you all. Thank you for listening. Good luck to Tom Perry, of course, with his movie. If you want to send him words of encouragement or just Christmas presents to get him in the mood. Just, if you can send him to the fans.

Why not send him to the guys? Just making the Christmas movie now. He is, he's making a Christmas movie in August and that is the challenge to get yourself in that festive mood. So maybe, you know, if you could send him some lovely Ferrer, Roshie, pour some advocate into a jiffy bag, all of that kind of stuff, whack it to the PO box.

Christmas starts here, Christmas starts Christmas has come early for Barry yeah but we are with which are menesty proud of him and I hope you are enjoying the episodes regardless of the fact that he's not here but he will be back don't worry I mean unless the film is a success and he pops up. Yeah, you know, send in presents but don't watch it. No, you mustn't. Clarke, please, please. Not for him. Christmas. Exactly. You know, what we're hoping Clarke is that he is Christmas. Exactly. You know, we what we're hoping Clark is that he is taken to the bosom of the Hollywood system and then chewed up just like you were. You know, it's rough out there, man. It's tough. It's a rough business. It's rough and tumble, man. He's already gone beyond where I got to, so I think he's, you know, he's doing better, but at some point, he'll be in a bit.

He'll see him, he'll see him on the way back now. That's the way this, that's the way this greasy ladder works, Barry. He'll see the wheels. If he really makes it, maybe we get to do flat slam, the feel, the feel. I can't, the feel. I wonder why my friend fell apart. I think that might be our problem. We don't know what films are called. You know, like a movie. Can we do a movie or a film of flat slam?

A movie. Flat slam the film. Right. Well, don't forget folks. Find us on Twitter at Pappy's tweet. I feel like it's flat slam the film. Right, well, don't forget folks, find us on Twitter at Pappy's tweet, find us on Instagram at Pappy's comedy. If you enjoy this, join the Patreon. If you want to give us, you know,

if you'd like to give us a little bit of financial support, I can assure you now, none of the money goes to Perry. He's obviously, he was totally a big buck. So it all goes to myself and K and Clarky who are still here languishing in the the lowest rung of show business podcast. But you know, we wouldn't have it any other way. Oh, you know what, we're in the gutter, but we're not even staring at the stars. We're staring at each other. Just basically like just looking at more gutter. Yes. Oh, that's all from the gutter boys. We will see you next time.

This episode was produced by Emma Corsham. Corsham team. Corsham team. Cheers everyone. Cheers everyone. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Cheers everyone! Bye! Ladies and gentlemen, please be upstanding for the Patreon neighborhood watch roll call. I met this girl, she was really smiley. Let me tell you it was Hannah Riley. I met this girl. She was really funny. I was also funny. How have the wheels come off this early clock, you man? Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Yeah, she laugh at me. It was Patricia Katase. Oh, yeah.

It wasn't good at all, man. But you know what, we're still in it. We're still in it. It's early doors. You can turn it around. BOOG, BOOG, BOOG, BOOG. I, it's early doors, you can turn it around. A boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop bo Fuck bloody hell down bloody hell down bloody hell down bloody hell down that's my favorite pan It's I really like the fan it's La Crusay That cost 200 with that pan. Oh why they so expensive the crew say

Oh, I met this dude let me tell you I really like him is he hit me over there with a casserole dish and his name is Wilson Lim. A boob, a boob, a boob, a boob, a boob, a boob, a boob, a boob, a boob, a boob, a boob, a boob, a boob, a boob, a boob, a boob, a boob, a boob, a boob, a boob, a boob, a boob, a boob, a boob, a boob, a boob, a boob, a boob, a boob, a boob, a boob, a boob, a boob, a boob, a boob, What the heck, Alice Birdwood? Oh boy! It's the best, it's... That was for the food, Alice Birdwood. Oh, I'm glad it's all right. Well, of course, Alice is in here. Of course, you've got the two letters at least.

Oh, that's gonna arrive. No. Bukch, bukch, bukch, bukch, bukch. Bukch, bukch, bukch, bukch. Well, I met this girl in Lemme tell you, she got some pants and here's what she do. She get the pants and she crackin' on my head. I said, oh my God, I wish I was dead. Cause when those pants were on top of me, I had so much caster all of my eyes I couldn't see. I said I'm not having any fun, she said my name is Rachel Robertson.

Bloody hell, look at this, pick me up with loads of pans. Oh my God, this, they have a left, a name. They haven't left a name. A name. They haven't left a name, left a name. We still love you. God, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I was out the other day. I was having a real dreamer.

And let me tell you now, someone hit me with a steamer I said hold on there fellow. I was gonna use that for rice He said I just don't care cause my name is Joseph Christ The game of the house I didn't mind then they said it on fire Wow, it was like what the heck man? Why are you committing arson's? He said I want to burn your pants my name is Robert Parsons Oh name is Robert Parsons and he's actually braw His name is Rob Parsons and he's been committing arson's Parsons Let me tell you now about the time I was in Lakeland. I was looking at the pounds and parts and I was giving them a big hand. I was standing by the pots

applauding for all my life. I was there with my child, and I was there with my wife. It was a family day, and didn't tell you we were having a lovely time. I looked over in the corner, and I saw a tiny line. I said, get out of here, lime. I don't want to talk to you no more. I just want to plot these pots and pans that are lying on the floor, because I'd knock him on to the floor You know I'm telling the truth. I was playing a little bit of baseball with my friend B.B.

Ruth and let me tell you now I can't believe I've done this for so long But cars I haven't even come close to a ramp for this song. Let me tell you now. That's my fault It really is my folly But let me blame my friend as well. His name is Daniel Jolly Boy look this guy came round my house. He also had a little lime. I said, whoa man, don't take that lime anywhere near my pans. You know the citrus is bad for the, the, it's too acidic for particularly for that pan that has, it's porous and he's citrus is gonna be bad. It's gonna be bad even to vatels

is gonna be too much for that pen. It'll rust, man. Fucking hell. You said his surname like three times. I have actually, yeah. I have. But never at the end of a line. So you're not gonna write his surname with itself. Oh no way man. Oh no way man. Oh Also what rhymes with that?

Letmas also it's yeah Yes, I was like look these pens they need to be p h neutral so are you some litmus oh that is name was digiv citrus citrus citrus digiv I would have just gone Dave with a silent J. Dave citrus. Dave, but I think Dave, I think it's I'm Dave. Rather than did you Could be did you Did you see it dress it could be the jurors it dress It's a dress it dress it dress it dress Oh, did you see a dress oh oh let me tell you now about the pants that have hit me on the head Let me tell you now every time they do it. I see red. Oh, let me tell you now about the pants and all the pants

And let me tell you now about the parts and all the pans and let me tell you now about it makes my glands Swirl up to an enormous size you wouldn't believe your eyes. I could tell you if I went to a summer fair I would win a prize because my glands have swollen up so much they look like a couple of marrows I can't get down an alleyway especially if it's narrow. So let me tell you now I'm off after the country of life. I'm after looking at the second. Why? Why is he doing? I, you know what? You just need to get this off your chest. I think I'm quite good at this. I think I could go. Do you know what? I think I could go to a freestyle in competition and I can actually

duck and actually bust it, I think. Do you not think I can do it? Listen, I think what the problem is, you've been lulled into a false economy of being better than me. That might be it. You're a great wing man for my ego, I think, and I could freestyle rap. Also, this style of rap hasn't been done since 1987. We'll let a bit of it, you know, of that. It's like, this is like, you know, even in 1987 it was pretty out, it was pretty out of style. Welcome, small. Okay, let me tell you now, I am off to the farm and I'm gonna go with my friend Anita Merck-Maw

Yeah That concludes the British in New World Watch. Oh, man. Oh, who knew that we really needed Perry to keep us on the straight and arrow in these pictures. Oh, man, imagine, imagine if someone's still listening at this point. You've got to feel sorry for the jav and Anita being so late in the Patreon. No one's made it this far. No one's made it this far. If you're here, whoever you are, interpret explorer.

Send us a message. Papysflatshare.com. Papysflatshare.com. Send us a message. Just the subject. Nothing in the body of the message just says I was there. And we'll know. I was there and will know. We'll know.

Bye.