Pappy's Flatshare - Beef Brothers Cold Cuts w/ Rose Johnson S9E26

Episode Date: September 23, 2019

The Beef Brothers are here to sort out your beef with special guest Rose JohnsonRose Johnson - https://twitter.com/rosejonsePappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetIf you have a flatshare based bee...f you'd like us to solve then send it to beefbrotherspodcast@gmail.comSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareProduced by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman planting her course to free to pat in love for. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things. It's like theaters December 15th.
Starting point is 00:00:20 Greetings, listener dear. Here we be in your hair canal. Here we be. All three. I'm Tom. The look of panic on your face. That's so adorable. I'm Matthew and... I'm Ben. And he's Ben. ...clinging to the hick and al. Against the tidal waves of wax that swings through clean areas. Well, you said bloster. Well, this is the, this is the thing, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:00:52 They say don't stick anything in your ear. That's bigger than an elbow, unless it's one of the podcasts. Of course, unless it's one of our podcasts. You buy elbow sized earbuds. Yeah, that's what they, it basically like, you gotta fight this. I tried, I was trying to try and yes, Angie there, I thought, forget it. Anyway, welcome to the show. This is the vibe. This is the gun of iron we got going on here. It's never not supportive. Back out, no, because this is a good episode.
Starting point is 00:01:20 Oh, it is. This is a very strong episode. We've got beef, brothers, cold cuts of the things. The show in which we try and solve your flat share based beefs. If you would like to get in touch with us and send us your flat share based beefs, you can get in touch on beefbrotherspodcastatgmail.com or you can send them via our Twitter or we'll even accept them via the Patreon or via Facebook. Or just slide them under our door. Yeah, just slide them under our door. Yeah, just like I don't know what I do. You're just skulking around outside. If you are submitting them through the PO box,
Starting point is 00:01:49 I'm afraid that's gonna be a good. And but gonna be honest about that. It's gonna be a good piece. But we don't just solve those problems on our own, we have the help of a brilliant guest, who was it this week, Ben? Oh, it was Rose Johnson, and I tell you what, she was very good at kind of getting to the heart of things.
Starting point is 00:02:03 She really saw the problems as like in an emotional way. There's a future in therapy for that lady, if she didn't have such a bright future ahead of her in the world of comedy. That's right, you might know Rose from Birthday Girls, the comedy sketch team who also have a brilliant podcast, which we've appeared on. Yes. She's now a brilliant stand-up in her own right.
Starting point is 00:02:23 She is a brilliant stand-up in her own right. If you have a chance toup in her own right. She is a brilliant standup in her own right. If you ever get shots to see her, please do. And as you'll find out, she is not just a brilliant comic. She's also, as Clarke said, very erudite, very analytical and extremely emotionally intelligent human being. Oh, this is turning to a real love fest. It really has.
Starting point is 00:02:44 I think I'm back to cry. I'm going to get through this and we'll see you on the other side. Enjoy. Well, if you've got a problem, I'm calling a problem. If you've got a problem call it a bee. If you've got a bee, maybe we can help you be from the sorting at your bees. All cuts. RJ.
Starting point is 00:03:02 Hello. Rose Johnson. Yeah. How you doing? A bit hungover. RJ. Hello. Rose Johnson. Yeah. How you doing? A bit hungover. Good. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:09 That's the perfect. Crime podcast, quite vulnerable, so could say some stuff I regret. Could cry. Makes such a crime, yeah. Classes. That's what we're hoping for, really. We don't have enough people crying on the podcast. I don't think we've ever had it.
Starting point is 00:03:19 Oh, really? We must have had somebody cry on the podcast. Just a little one. Who's crying? Maybe just a little... Oh, well, I think I've cried laughing on podcast before. Oh, well, you've had somebody cry on that podcast. Just a little one. Who's cry? Maybe just a little... Oh, well, I think I've cried laughing on podcast before. Well, you've had to give him the wrong place for that. What we're looking for is the sort of Stuart Goldsmith style.
Starting point is 00:03:36 We ask a question that triggers a memory and it sends you off. Crying. Basically, yeah. There are lots of people cry on his podcast. I've heard people cry on his podcast before, yeah. Yeah, people listening to the podcast. LAUGHTER How are you as a house mate?
Starting point is 00:03:51 Are you an emotional house mate? Yeah, yeah, really emotional. More of a more of a social general person, so that just spills over into being a house mate. Emotion, it fills every fiber of my being. I'm governed by it, not in control of it at all. a'r ffodd yn ymwyr i'r ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd yn ffodd Could be tipped over at any time, but it could be anything like the other day I was I had like I was a bit I was a bit pre-menstrual and I nearly started welled up because I saw a bouncer Big muscley bouncer outside a pub eating a little like Topware box of his meal prep that he'd done
Starting point is 00:04:38 I've like chicken and rice and I walk past that and I just welled up Is that because you thought if I'd seen that guy without his little box, I would have judged him in a certain way. Yeah, and these just fit in with his little rocks I can front of him having his little chicken and rice. A pack lunch paints a real picture, doesn't it? A paints a picture of preparation.
Starting point is 00:04:55 Yeah. So you think you're the big piece. I'm also a man who's chiefly having a protein-based meal. Yeah. Oh, that's also true, yeah. He's probably doing it so he's stronger to kick the shit out of people. Muscles aren gweithio, yw'n gweithio. Yw'n gweithio, yw'n gweithio. Mwais, yw'n gweithio. No, yw'n gweithio.
Starting point is 00:05:10 Yw'n gweithio. Yw'n gweithio. Yw'n gweithio. Yw'n gweithio. Yw'n gweithio. Yw'n gweithio. Yw'n gweithio. Yw'n gweithio. Yw'n gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaith the other one is lunch box. What is the kid just eating chicken?
Starting point is 00:05:47 He's got a weird mum. Fair enough, right? I asked the question, I got the answer. Should we start with Clarke's? Cause it's on message. Yeah, ah! Yes, it is now. Muscle man. It's a muscle man type question.
Starting point is 00:05:59 Right. Matt. Big fella muscle man. Yeah, don't mind him. Who's your favourite Muslim man? Um... Present company excluded. Am I right guys? Well because, yeah, because you're not a Muslim.
Starting point is 00:06:12 Oh. Sorry. Oh, wow, wow, wow, come on now. The three of us have been working out hardcore. Clarke could pass as Muslim. Clarke is a Muslim guy. Clarke is... The other U2, absolutely no.
Starting point is 00:06:25 Well though Tom Strong, who's lifted me up before. Tom is strong. Was that something you asked me to do? Actually, no. It was the classic Paris festival, going up. Going up on the shoulders, yeah. There was a bit in Cat Cohen's Edinburgh show this year, which resonated with me so hard, Mae'n gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaith You won't be able to, so I've stopped you before, but you did it. I know, yeah. Credit to you.
Starting point is 00:07:05 Thank you. Sorry. Your back's not been the same since, has it? But, Harry, you've picked up Clark. You haven't eaten. You can pick up Clarky. Yes, Clarky's picked up me. Clarky's picked up you.
Starting point is 00:07:15 We've done a lot in putting each other on the surface. We're waiting for you to, you know, to try and pick the stripping. I don't reckon I can pick up either of you. Come on, mate. I don't think, I don't think I could, no, I don't think I could. I think, yeah. You say you can pick up Harry. I don't think I can pick up Harry.
Starting point is 00:07:34 I don't think you could either. I don't think the two of us between us can pick up Harry. I think it's all about levers. Well, this is it. I was trying to say that they did. I'll leave that. Yes. Not for me.
Starting point is 00:07:44 It's a Brexit argument. It's a Brexit argument. It's a Brexit argument. I'm not going to talk about the leaves. Wimpy Remainers could not pick me up. But a couple of strong levers. Vin Diesel's a musty man you like. Yeah. I like the way he was talking about Brexit and you're like,
Starting point is 00:07:53 how can I do this away from that? I did. Vin Diesel. Vin Diesel. You'll put you right there. It is about levers. It's about getting the right anglers. I don't know where I would pick you up
Starting point is 00:08:08 That's the question is it where would I buy the willy? I mean yeah, it's a police system I Timing is everything with that leave Here's what I would do I'd grab his willy I'd right around my neck And I start pulling it, and hopefully my neck would act as a sort of pulley system, and I would pull it you up, I'd give you a little kiss on the belly, and let go the willy, back down to the grass. It sounds like a great morning. It sounds like a wonderful morning.
Starting point is 00:08:34 It sounds like a good way to spend some time. So, Clarke, well, you must be man. Who's his from? Matt. Matt. Front name's only. Has said. He has a given his name as well. So, or the back end of his first name.
Starting point is 00:08:50 Front first name. Oh, good point. Sure. Is he a Hugh? Is he a Hulan-Mot? Is he a Hulan-Mot? It's the next pew-map, man. Max, Matt traditionally is Matthew, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:09:03 Mytholomew. Trep? Could be Mytholomew? Trep? Could be Mytholomew. Could be mattress. Has a mattress come to life and written us a message? Well, let's find out. Let's find out. Do you know what actually? It does say when I'm lounging around. Oh, has a mattress?
Starting point is 00:09:17 He's a mattress. We're all over. I've skipped our early doors. Guys, if you are a mattress and you're listening to this podcast, thinking, I can't write in, you simply must now. Matt, the mattress, has set the precedent't write in, you simply must now. Matt, the mattress has set the precedent here and thank you very much, Matt. So this is from a mattress.
Starting point is 00:09:31 When I'm lounging around eating pizza, that's not a mattress. It's not a mattress, guys. We've been rule out now that it's a mattress. So if you are a mattress, he's talking about something. So he could be memory foam. Am I right, guys? Hey! When I'm lounging around, eat in pizza and watching TV.
Starting point is 00:09:47 My housemate will join and start working out, making me feel a little guilty. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. So the scene here, presumably living room, if it's bedroom, it can't be bedroom, can't
Starting point is 00:10:07 it? There's a clue in the word lounging. Oh, you can lounging the bedroom Tom. You can sleep in the living room. Well, it's not called the loung for a mattress in the kitchen. He's, or, yeah, Matt, he's, so he's in the living room. I presume so, yeah. Lounging around. I think I always think he's eating pizza.
Starting point is 00:10:27 You don't want pizza in the bedroom. No. It's a smelly food. That's going to absorb into the fabrics. Yeah, the smell will linger. The smell will linger. It's going to be a lot of for breeze to get rid of. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:40 But so obviously instinct, first of all, you go, well, what are you doing? What are you playing at coming in and working out while someone's just trying to relax? Mae'n gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r down to round eating pizza. Is he doing that on a day-to-day basis all the time? Is that it's like- Are you establishing a rule here that the first person to get into a room gets to establish the vibe of a room? Is that a weird rule to establish? I think that's a pretty fair assumption though.
Starting point is 00:11:15 First one into the living room gets to control the atmosphere of the room. For example, if you sit down, start watching the television, and then someone just comes in and puts on music. You go, that's rude. What are you doing? Or if you... Or if they were playing music in the room already and you came in and put on the television,
Starting point is 00:11:30 that would be you being rude. I used to live with a DJ at you. But you know what? That's the exception that proves the rule. If you halfway through a film, then you come in and start setting up his decks and start DJing in the corner. That's not acceptable. Yeah, that you can't have that.
Starting point is 00:11:47 What's he DJing along to? You know how something's to have a live score along to the film? Oh, if I would. He's DJing along to the film. Well, he had one set. He only had one, a small set of records, so his set was always the same.
Starting point is 00:11:58 Right. He'd always ended up scratching into 50 ways to leave your lover by Paul Simon. How do you like that? That's a lot of fun. It'd be like that, but with some Detroit techno underneath it. Right. So we'd kind of have to bend whatever the film was around that bar. So, within the...
Starting point is 00:12:17 But yeah, no, I think whoever's in the room first, it's like if you're having a bath and someone wants to... I'm not sure hang on. In the living room. You can't say it. You know, and you're having a bath and someone wants to I'm not sure hang on in the living room Yeah, you know and you're having a bath. I mean the bathroom having a bath. You can't come in and have a shower. That's different, right? But this is a communal space. Yeah, it's okay fair enough. It's not got a but I do you think they if you're in there And you're for example if you were in the living room reading a book and it was quiet and somebody the Etiquette would say someone someone comes in they, do you mind if I put the teleon?
Starting point is 00:12:46 That's fine. And then you pass the aggressively go, no, it's fine, I'm just going to sit in my room and read this book. I'll move. Oh, I think I'd say, yeah. Oh, so what's he doing? Is he watching TV?
Starting point is 00:12:56 Is he watching TV? He's watching TV. He's watching TV. He's watching TV. If he's watching TV, he can't go and do that somewhere else unless he's on the eye-player on the laptop. Right. He can. Which, let's face it, everybody is. and watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV.
Starting point is 00:13:07 And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV.
Starting point is 00:13:15 And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV.
Starting point is 00:13:23 And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And watch TV. And to. I disagree about it. In the garden. In the park. I don't think the park is not a room. The biggest room. The largest room. He's the thing I think we're missing out on this beef. The problem is the guilt.
Starting point is 00:13:36 The problem isn't the distraction. He's not saying I'm trying to watch the telly and this guy's absolutely in the way. What does he say? What does he say? He makes me feel bad at the end? It makes me feel a little guilty. A little guilty now. And there's the issue.
Starting point is 00:13:49 So it's a bit like, you know, like, because he knows that he should be working out. It's not about distraction. It's not like I'm trying to watch Game of Thrones and this guy's pumping away. Oh, sorry. Sorry, I've just taken my print. My own experience of watching Game of Thrones. That's a different
Starting point is 00:14:08 thing and something I don't do in the lounge. So he's the enjoyment of his pizza and TV as being mad by somebody throwing their healthy eating and living in his face. Absolutely. Yeah. I think that's the issue. I think the other thing is, I mean obviously we can't know any other details but I'd love to know what the layout is. It's a crying shame. It's a crying shame. It's an absolute crying shame. There's no way I'm going. Please do get back in touch. But what is in the sitting room, have they got specific, do you think there's specific equipment in there? I think he's, yeah, I reckon he's got some free weights.
Starting point is 00:14:46 I think he's doing his bicep curls, he's doing his press ups. He's doing your classic living room workout, which, by the way, I wouldn't recommend. To be honest, do you know what? You should say, tell him, do you shouldn't be doing this in the living room? You should be doing this in the park, or under the supervision of a professional,
Starting point is 00:15:01 because I used to do living room workouts, and I got a hernia. Oh, no, yes. What? Yeah. Can we talk about that? So what were you doing just like a sort of self-guided? I wanted to get massive. A self-guided. Are you blaming the living room?
Starting point is 00:15:14 Yeah. You try to get any issue. No, I blame some fucking shouty woman on my DVD called Autumn Callabrazy. Autumn Callabrazy. Autumn Callabrazy is a great name. It sounds like a dish in a Italian restaurant. Sorry, it's awesome. Sorry, Autumn. Good, good call. So you're following a DVD and she pushed you too hard. Yeah, and I think I was doing it wrong. You know, and you just the form was probably wrong,
Starting point is 00:15:43 and I was, I think I wasn't zipping up from my core or something. That's it, there's no one there to correct you. I was, for a while, I was following Kelly on Fitness Blender. Yeah. And the thing is, fitness blender. Fitness blender.
Starting point is 00:15:56 Yeah, and what fitness blender? I don't know. Fitness blender. Sorry, sorry, front name was only fitness. We did say, and the thing is, once you get into, for example, a downward dog position, you can't see the laptop and you can't see yourself. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:13 So you've got no idea if you're in the right position. And what you need is someone next to you who's not doing that activity. Eating a slice of pizza saying, who's on a different level. You're on a little bit. I'm going to make, you're not quite doing it right there. Although that would be a little bit right.
Starting point is 00:16:28 Actually, I think he should lean into it, lean into the fact that he's not doing it. But if you're leaning too far, you might damage yourself. Yeah, so lean into far. Lean responsibly. That's not zipping up from the core. But I think he should lean into it and start. Critic.
Starting point is 00:16:43 Critic, critiquing his form. So there you go. You're spotting, spotting. Spot him, but he's, yeah, but unprompted. Yeah, because his mate's not gonna like that. It's the way to fight back. Yeah, that's fighting fire with fire. I also like the image of it,
Starting point is 00:16:54 but, like, on a sofa eating pizza again. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,. There's a flip side to this beef as well, in that we could very easily get a beef sent in. Next month saying, look, I'm trying to stay healthy. Yes. But my flatmate is always there, eating a pizza, living the dream. It makes it hard for me to feel healthy. What, you know, they- That was gonna be my beef about my,
Starting point is 00:17:20 that was gonna be my beef for, for, for, um, to find, yeah. For that sure. Was gonna be that, that I, whenever I'm trying to be healthy, Mae'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r old, exercise-y. You sort of have, yeah, that thing, if you're trying to be healthy, you kind of have to do it together, don't you? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:47 Because you're only, I mean, you're as weak as the weakest person. Yeah, and I certainly feel that. Yeah. And I'm off on the weak, the weakest person and I drag my wife down with me. And you live with a two month old baby? Yeah. I'm just damning. Yeah, I know that is damning. If you're living in a couple and one of you's bought ice cream and you've just watched a couple of episodes of Shit's Creek,
Starting point is 00:18:11 come on, man. You're going to be nice cream, aren't you? Yeah. You're both going to be nice cream. With the best will in the world. Yeah. It's not good. So what are we saying here?
Starting point is 00:18:20 How do we solve this beef? I think the spot challenge is the way to do it. What, that pizza should be shouting at press ups to lift put a buzz down. I think it's important. I think it's important. Whoever's in the room first sets the mood. And I also think that if you've got a pizza,
Starting point is 00:18:38 it has to be eaten there. As discussed, the bedroom's no place for it. So, but lounging watching TV and the impetus, that's a long experience. That could be all night. You're work out, 20 minutes. He might want to be just be doing, he might want to be doing like half an hour a day,
Starting point is 00:18:55 just to sort of keep him, keep him on his, keep him real. So, you're saying that, we don't know about Matt. Matt could be Matt Matt could be That could be clinically depressed he could be I was that's why I was teaching round He could be that why not? I'm the so for morning noon and night eating pizza
Starting point is 00:19:14 The guy is just trying to exercise to keep himself sane and not get dragged down into the spiral So he's a impression, you know switch off the podcast put on some jogging pants, get down the park. That's it. Can we just say, by the way, very, very, we should say jogging is not a cure for depression. Oh, but you know what? Do you know what? Fucking frustrating. I've started doing it recently and it makes you feel amazing. I'm so gutted about it. I know. They say it is one of the cuosic. Genuinely. It's good for mental health.
Starting point is 00:19:46 It really is good for your mental health. I would recommend it. The only thing I was, yeah, for ages, I didn't want to be, this is so stupid, but I put off exercising for years. It was like, well, I don't want to be locked into this thing, I only feel good if I exercise. But why not? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:03 I mean, that's, I could win, win, isn't it? It's win, win. Yeah. I mean, that's, I could win, win, isn't it? It's win, win. Yeah. You exercise and you feel good. But also what I'd say is, you know, Matt seems like he seems, he just wants to have his pizza, but also what I'd say is that guilt that you're feeling, that you think that he's inspiring, that's, you have, that's, that's projection. You're, that's, that's, that's latent guilt that you've got about having this pizza in
Starting point is 00:20:24 this TV. Anyway, if you're fine with it, if you're there being like, I've earned this tree, I'm having a pizza, I'm having a, you don't give a shit if someone's doing press ups next to you, just a bit of mildly annoyed them in your peripheral. Exactly. But I think don't be own it.
Starting point is 00:20:35 If you're having a pizza, have a pizza, don't let anybody make you feel bad about it. But if you feel bad, deep down in your heart about that pizza, that press-up's going to make that come out. Wow, this is quite cyclical, but this mate, Matt's going to turn around and he's front room and realise he's been living alone. Oh, that's amazing. And the guy doing the press-ups was himself. Yeah, so that's it, Matt, you've basically were saying, I think that we've sold the beef
Starting point is 00:21:01 and that we've said that you have got split, you've got split parts. That's the sort of unfortunate thing, Matt. parts, that's even solder unfortunately. You're a schizophrenic. You get to get to get to the top. You get your soldiers to therapy, are you sad, actually? Be solved. Wow. From the sorting out your beef.
Starting point is 00:21:14 Be solved. You know what? I think that was morally reprehensible. I told you, don't give me a free reign on a hangover. Let's do another B. Okay, who's this from? Irina. Irina.
Starting point is 00:21:30 Yeah. Irina. How do you spell Irina? Ah. Pardon? Not Irina. It's not, this is not from an actual Irina, is it? This is from an actress.
Starting point is 00:21:41 Yes, this is. Wembley Irina's got it tight. Yeah, this is from Wembley Irina. From the name's only. From the front no Yes, this is. Wembley Arena's got it touched. Yeah, this is from Wembley Arena. Front name's only. Front name, sorry. Sorry. Wembley.
Starting point is 00:21:49 So this is from arena. Arena. She says, my flatmate Steve, and then she's putting brackets, also partner in sex, which I hate as a sex. Oh, come on. It works for partner in crime, not for partner in sex. They might not be partners. They might just be fuck buddies. They might run a partner and sex. They might not be partners, they might just be fuck buddies.
Starting point is 00:22:06 They might run a business of sex, they sell sex toys. They might sell, they might sell butt plugs. And why not, fair play to them. It's too bad. Fair play to you. If you do, if you do, get yourself out for a jog, mate. And also send us some. What butt plugs?
Starting point is 00:22:22 You know what? Why not? We can talk about things going on our soul all day. Let's not do it now. I think let's do it away now. If anyone's got butt plugs, they want to send us send us the PO box, please. And please be honest.
Starting point is 00:22:33 Be honest about it, guys. My flatmate Steve, brackets, also partner in sex, seems physically unable. Can I just stop and talk about this partner in sex thing? I have a dislike of when people call their partner, like they'll be like the boy. Yeah, this one. Like, yeah, when people are like,
Starting point is 00:22:54 the boy decided to surprise me with some flowers. It's a very face book good. That kind of thing. Oh, yeah, like did it Sunday in the park with this one? With this one, fuck. The worst. This one. Yeah. Absolutely get to fuck. No, I don't park with this one fuck the worst this one. Yeah, absolutely get to fuck
Starting point is 00:23:05 No, I don't know this one or the boy really get me they absolutely grind my career Also those people will be broken up within the year If you're using this one or the boy Yeah, and you're putting demonstrative pictures of yourselves on Facebook You've got big problems in relationship and you'll be broken up within the year. Go for a jog. It's okay, go for a jog. Yeah, jogging. You're a jogging.
Starting point is 00:23:30 A couple's a jog together and don't post a poll on Facebook. Stay together. You are talking about your own relationship. Yeah. What about couples who talk about our podcasts? Free reign. That's healthy. That's healthy, really healthy.
Starting point is 00:23:46 Podcasts are basically comedians therapy, aren't they? Yeah, sometimes I think that just, like stand up is the stuff that I would say in my stand up that is a genuine, you know, could deep concern of my relationship that I've not voiced to my husband. Yeah, yeah, it's anything else you want to share with us now? Is he listening? Preview and material. I've thought so now.
Starting point is 00:24:11 And that's part of the problem, Dan, you don't listen. My flatmate Steve, brackets also partner in sex. You said it three times now, and it doesn't get any better. It does. It does work, doesn't it? Yeah. brackets partner in sex.. I've got a problem that the flatmate comes first. Yeah, that's the question. They start as flatmates, well
Starting point is 00:24:29 started in a bit. I think this has happened to be fair. They are writing to a podcast that's called Flat Share Slam Down. So, you know what I mean? Pappy's Flat Share. Flatmate, that's why we've said it. What's your problem? It's true. I think it's a shoe there in a relationship. Yeah. It just, the demarcation of those two things suggests a problematic. It's really stuck in your crawl, isn't it? Should we just say? Oh! Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:54 You like that? Yeah. Where is your crawl? Here. Neck. Neck. You can put a listener home. Rose is rubbing her neck.
Starting point is 00:25:05 She's rubbing her neck. I'm like, I've joined the neck. Nick, I'm rubbing my own, not that. You know. If you do that, make that noise. There's the crawl. There's the crawl. There's the neck.
Starting point is 00:25:14 The crawl roll. You're thinking of like, that's like what a crow does. Stuck in your crawl. I thought it was when a bird like, you know when they try and swallow a big thing and it's like, it sticks in your crawl. It sticks in your crawl, sticks in your crawl. I think birds crawl. Do they have a crawl? The birds have a crawl.
Starting point is 00:25:30 Can you please go to the bird's have a crawl, Emma? And we will get back to that piece of it for a few just a moment. So Steve, let's open a box. Let's open a box. Seems physically unable. Oh, bloody out. To not completely cover the bathroom with water when he washes his face.
Starting point is 00:25:51 I go in. Thank God. I thought I was going in a horrible other direction. I go in, slip on the floor, and then look around. It always looks as though there has been a monsoon. Wow. That's the end of the letter. End of beef.
Starting point is 00:26:07 End of beef. I mean, arena. Traumatic. Traumatic. Traumatic. It always looks like there has been a monsoon. What I'm going to say is arena sounds like she might be over dramatising this. She sounds a little melodramatic.
Starting point is 00:26:22 I'm not going to lie. Because we're assuming she's just getting water on the floor. She's not getting it all up the mirror, and up the walls, and stuff, is it? Or maybe it is. Maybe it is. Well, if there's a whole suit. Oh, well, it's the floor that she's mentioned.
Starting point is 00:26:32 I go in, slip on the floor, and then look around. He's only washing his face. How big is the face? Is that what? I think it's always looking at how big is the face. It's been a monsoon. Now, I know, now, first of all, I'd say, she's, I'm presumed, yeah, a bathroom.
Starting point is 00:26:45 This is a wet room. Yeah, this is not having in the lounge. This is a wet room. This room is designed to be wet. Yes, but not all bathrooms are wet rooms. No, there's not gonna be, well, more than gonna be painted. It's not gonna be carpeted
Starting point is 00:26:58 because she's slipping on the wet floor. Why on all bathrooms, wet rooms? Because surely when the wet room came along, everyone must have gone. This changes every day. The future of bathrooms. Tire little. Tire little. Right.
Starting point is 00:27:10 The, the, the wet room as well. The house. The little sort of, the kind of curved base to the entire room. Exactly. The all runs downwards towards the drain. You know it's all going to be wet. Absolutely ideal. You can get in there in free rain.
Starting point is 00:27:23 Oh, hold on. We've got to think we've talked about this before. Like, get in there and free reign. Oh, hold on. I think we've told you about this before, like all bets are off in a wet room, right? Why am I got a visual image of you just pissing up the wall? Yeah. Because you clearly like that image. Really? Sikily, you're the mic's for all that one.
Starting point is 00:27:37 There you go. So I mentioned Vin Diesel pissing up a wall now. That's all that's very easy on the eye. Don't mind that at all. Fair that wall down. So piss that wall down. That's a very easy on the eye. Don't mind that at all. Fair that wall down. So, piss that wall down. You're going to wet room, you know, it all hang out, then you drain it all off, you know it's going to be wet when you're in there, right?
Starting point is 00:27:54 Weren't you raining it all off? Why are we at that stage of human evolution now? I've got, because I've got something to problem, because every time I have a shower, now, my... You get wet now my partner in sex, I'm just saying, change complaints about how, yeah, it's like that you're too wet, that there's too much condensation, it's like, oh, you have it too hot. Too much condensation. Yeah, have you got an extractor fan? There's too much condensation, you have it too hot. Too much condensation. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:25 Have you got an extractor fan? We have an extractor fan and also I will squeegee every time. Yeah. Will you? The shower glass. Oh, I'm under direct. Good for you. Do you want us to do that?
Starting point is 00:28:37 I do. Absolutely. And I've got to do a daily shower spray. What? If I don't do a daily shower spray, I get a passive aggressive. Who do you, if you sprayed? But I'm sort of... Is it...
Starting point is 00:28:47 Mark has gone, you were claiming your relationship was the beacon of a healthy relationship. No, no. It was a domesticity. No, because we're very different. It's just what? No, man. Emotional superlations.
Starting point is 00:28:57 Emotional superlations. And just having a nice fun time. But... Can I ask, is your partner... Insects? Your partner in sex? Is he doing a daily spray? Oh no, we don't have sex.
Starting point is 00:29:07 Oh, sorry. Is your flatmates? Is he doing a daily spray as well? That's the trick. Well, this is the tricky thing, because really, my argument is, there shouldn't be a spray after every shower. It's a waste of spray and the environment. What a spray.
Starting point is 00:29:22 It is a waste of it. It's a shit, daily spray and shower spray. Ch-ch-ch-ch. I don't know what spray sounds like. You know the thing that you say to the environment. What are you spraying? It is a waste. Daily Spray and show us spray. I know what spray sounds like. You know the thing that you say to have a question. The sound is never the question. It keeps the mould up. So basically with the two of us,
Starting point is 00:29:33 it's whoever's had the last shower of the day, but sometimes you don't know. Sometimes you don't know. Well because you don't know if I don't know if he's had, you know, if we've got up at different times, you know, who's going to go for a run or what? Like... Always running you too. Yeah. You know, it's had, you know, if we've got up at different times, you know, who's going to go for a run or what? Like... Boy's running you, too.
Starting point is 00:29:46 Yeah. You're going to pull a Radcliffe. LAUGHTER Beautiful reference. So you might have to spray after you shower. No, wait, I don't spray. I don't spray. I don't spray. I buy.
Starting point is 00:29:57 You squeeze it. I squeeze it. I squeeze it. And now I'm 100% into that. Like, I wouldn't have it any other way. Well, this is it, because I think that she... So, they've got different standards, basically, of using a bathroom. Yeah, she'll shit in the street when she wants it. We still on Paula right?
Starting point is 00:30:17 Still on Paula right? I'm still on Paula right after everyone. So, he's just... He's clearly going for it, he's going a bathroom, it's a room where it's going to be wet, I'm splashing around, that's fine. She wants to go into a bathroom that is not covered in water. There's different expectations. I love soon. I would, I would, very similar to Ben. So my, my husband is, he dries out the sink after he's used it. Ooh, like let me tell you do all the plain.
Starting point is 00:30:49 Yes. How does he do it? They taste it on the floor. With a little cloth. They say there's little tissues to dry out. It says, why not, yeah, why not use your tissue, your hand towel to dry off the sink for the comfort of the next passenger?
Starting point is 00:31:03 We've gone mad. We've gone mad, I've not seen as people. Well, according to the plane etiquette, Irina's in the right here. Does she live on a plane? He should be drying out off the bathroom. No one's having a shower on a plane though. No.
Starting point is 00:31:19 Unless you're flying with. What's the one that's got a shower on a plane? Is it Singapore Airlines? Oh, what? Wet, repair. Wet, repair. What? Wet repair. Wet repair. What? Wet plane.
Starting point is 00:31:27 It was weak. Wet repair. It was so weak that it rendered Matthew's speechless. For I would say five seconds. I really. I thought I'd misheard it. Yeah, no you're right. I got right.
Starting point is 00:31:40 Wet repair. Wet repair. What a black... I don't know. Well, air. Tom, what you're not getting here is air is a traditional word. They put the end of the name of an airline, you know? So air, like Ryan air.
Starting point is 00:31:53 I don't believe this is still happening. But you know, a bathroom is often described as a wet room, especially one that is a wet room. So wet room, put it together. You've got yourself a lovely little gag. I apologize. I apologise. I apologise for that. Please apologise. We should apologise to you. There's been a lot worse said today. There's been far worse things said in this room.
Starting point is 00:32:15 So, what's our beef salt here? How are we going to fix it? That's a good point. Let's find a way out. Well, number one, sorry, Clark, you're right. no, you're right, you're right, come on. Number one, pop the bath mat down when you're washing your face. No, mention of a bath mat. No, mention of a bath mat. And that thing that's key. A bath mat when you're washing your face,
Starting point is 00:32:34 then at least some of the splash is going to go on the bath mat. You could hang that up, dry it out, you're fine. She's used the word monsoon. I don't think a bath mat's going to cover this. Yeah, you're right. You can't soak up a monsoon with a bath mat. Let's talk to Steve, he's washing his face. How often do you just wash your face?
Starting point is 00:32:50 That's what I'm quite confused about. I think some people do it just before they go to bed. Yeah, lots of people do it just before they go to bed. I don't. My wife does. Yeah, my husband does. Yeah. Clarke, sell this?
Starting point is 00:33:01 Yeah, Megan does, yeah. Well, there you go. The eyes have it. But I don't hear so good. I'm sorry, it's K-Saw, it's the next speaker. Out of the three of us, one of us do, and one of us don't, though. Oh. Never mind. So it's a 50-50 split. That was the noise. Paris Jor hit in the floor. I think that the first few words of this problem, I am yw'n gweithio'r ffllor. Mae'n gweithio'r ffllor. Mae'n gweithio'r ffllor. Mae'n gweithio'r ffllor.
Starting point is 00:33:28 Mae'n gweithio'r ffllor. Mae'n gweithio'r ffllor. Mae'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio.
Starting point is 00:33:44 Mae'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio. I think there's the equation. Yeah, I think that there's problems here in their relationship. This is a resentment of, this isn't about the water on the floor. This is about, are they, are they, well, they're clearly not actually together. She used the word monsoon. Monsoon, right? Yeah, you think the phrase partner and sex and monsoon in the same message should be a positive one. Right.
Starting point is 00:34:05 I've got, I've got a solution. If it was sex monsoon, you'd be fine. I think define your relationship, be honest with Steve and say, I'm leaving you. I want us to be proper partners. I've got to be honest, I'm leaving you. OK, I've got, I've got, yeah. Am I over simplifying this? Gone, you are over to be honest, I'm leaving you. Okay, I've got, I've got, yeah. Am I oversimplifying this?
Starting point is 00:34:26 Gone, you always put the fight for us. Go in the bathroom first, change the routine. When you wake up in the morning, you go in first, you leave, Steve gets in there, does she sit around his face. In the evening, you go in, get ready for bed, go in. So all about successful living together, it's built on a routine.
Starting point is 00:34:43 It's built on routine, it's my wife goes in first, does the business, yeah, going afterwards, do what you like. Make that wet room happen. Sure. Live the dream. That's all. By the morning it's dry. It doesn't change the length of your day, arena.
Starting point is 00:34:55 It doesn't change anything. A simple change of routine. Although, compromise. It could be that there's time constraints. If she goes to work first then she should go in first. Yeah. If she's going into work. Sorry. I didn't realize she went to work first. Yeah, she goes to work second. That's a long time to have a nice clean face, isn't it? She's sitting around and I've got this lovely clean face. I don't have to go to work for another 45 minutes. It's a complete waste of face.
Starting point is 00:35:25 No, you know what, Parry, you're absolutely right. You beef-solves. Beef-solves. Beef-solves. From the side, make a beef-solve. Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining.
Starting point is 00:35:39 A woman plotting her course to freedom at a lot for her. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Poor things. It's like theaters, December 15th. A cast powers the world's best podcast. Here's a show that we recommend. Hi, I'm David Boris, Canadian historian
Starting point is 00:36:01 and host of curious Canadian history, a bi-weekly deep dive into the wild, worrisome, and host of curious Canadian history, a bi-weekly deep dive into the wild, worrisome, and wonderful world of Canadian history. This season we've covered not season Alberta, the Palestinian partition, and even the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. We also have eight seasons worth of back episodes all right there for your listening pleasure. Check out new episodes of curious Canadian history every other Tuesday, wherever you get your podcast.
Starting point is 00:36:32 Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com. Let's do a big bite. A cast for us. Yes, it's about a big beef. It's a round four first of all. It's sometimes like bird stomach. Do I? It's yeah, some kind of like bird stomach thing. Fair play, RJ.
Starting point is 00:36:55 A bird stomach is a craw. I was close, wasn't I? That was, I mean, as near as damn it, because the neck and the stomach are not. It's on the way, isn't it? It really sticks in my bird stomach. It really sticks in my bird stomach. It really sticks in my bird stomach. Well, I think that it's something.
Starting point is 00:37:09 That's a subject. I'll tell you what. Is it when I give my bird onions? Yeah, it's a flaw. When I wash my face, and it really sticks in my bird stomach. Is it the business, is it to do with, you know, when the mother, the mother bird feeds the baby bird, and she has to put her beak quite far in
Starting point is 00:37:24 to stop it like getting stuck. Or is it not? No, it's in the sheet. It eats a thing. We go, you take it in her crawl and fires it back up. Oh, and it can get stuck. It's what we get stuck in your crawl, you can't feed your young.
Starting point is 00:37:35 Oh, I mean, that we don't know. We don't know, but guys, you're in a hard cast. Oh, God, we don't know. I mean, that has been the surprise, at least. Yeah, if you've been listening for a long time, yeah. That's it. Le Grand Booth. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:37:50 Front names only. Dan, and again, the front of a front name. Yes. Is it Daniel? Is it Daniela? Daniela. It could be Daniela. Is it Daniel?
Starting point is 00:38:01 Is it Dan follow me? Dan it's Hello. Daniel. Dan it's Hello. Anyway, he reads, I live with three other Danielle? Is it Dan Follomew? We're Danatello. Danatello. Danatello. Anyway, he reads, I live with three other like-minded individuals. Sure, we skateboard together, we pizza together and we fight crime together. Oh my god, this is a lot of talent. I've just been to me two long together.
Starting point is 00:38:19 Beautiful old reference. I like the way as well. Donatello describing his mates is three like money's individuals. That was the original strapline because they toyed with going three heroes on a half shell or three like minded individuals. By the way, there are three guys that can get into eating pizza and working out in front of each other, right? Absolutely right. They're positively ripped.
Starting point is 00:38:48 Yeah. You could see that being the problem though. There is four of them, that's the problem. So Michael Antelope is the one on the sofa eating the pizza, he's got a problem. He's the party dude. Yeah, he's got a problem because the guy who's always working out. I was sad because I was always the party dude. I think he was my favourite.
Starting point is 00:39:02 Yeah, he's the party dude. Raphael comes in. Classic, Raphael. Tense. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafayl. Rafaymates' boyfriend has always been a little odd. He's very quiet. Not quiet with confidence though, quite the opposite. As well as this deathly quiet, he permanently has an ears pulling back, eyes widening look whenever you talk to him. As if you found out whatever he's been keeping so quiet about.
Starting point is 00:39:41 Right. However, he could just be socially awkward. This persona completely changed whenever I was on my PlayStation. A'r ffordd. A'r ffordd. A'r ffordd. A'r ffordd. A'r ffordd. A'r ffordd. A'r ffordd. A'r ffordd. A'r ffordd.
Starting point is 00:39:50 A'r ffordd. A'r ffordd. A'r ffordd. A'r ffordd. A'r ffordd. A'r ffordd. A'r ffordd. A'r ffordd.
Starting point is 00:39:58 A'r ffordd. A'r ffordd. A'r ffordd. A'r ffordd. A'r ffordd. A'r ffordd. A'r ffordd. A'r ffordd. A'r ffordd. A'r ffordd. A'r ffordd. tricky sections. He seemed to be quite an adept gamer and great and spotting secrets and collectibles. I was talking to a house mate about it. Is that, is that, is that, we're sorry, just the secrets and
Starting point is 00:40:11 collectibles, is that within the gaming? That's within the gaming. Okay, it's not just within the living room. He wasn't like Lauren Harris, that little kid who could do antiques. No, I can't very, very, no. I was talking to my house mate about it and how we seem to be bonding a bit over games and she was surprised. He'd never mentioned games and didn't have a console. In fact, he didn't even have a telly when she met him. Jump forward a few weeks and it started to annoy me. It was constantly butting in and pretty much making everything unfun. Uh-oh. No, you've got to press that one, then hit that and then him. He'd never play himself though. It was really hot. He started getting quite angry after a while because I was being a dick and deliberately dying just to annoy you.
Starting point is 00:41:02 Okay, Dan. I mean, at least, you know what? Dan solved his own beef. Dan has owned up to his own behaviour there, Dan. I mean at least, you know what? Dan solved his own beef. Dan has owned up to his own behaviour there, so he's got a little self-awareness as Dan. He knew he was big a dick. The plot thickens. Anyway. It turns out this frustration was boiling over
Starting point is 00:41:14 into my housemates relationship too. He was apparently mentioning my stupid obsession with games a lot. Then she told me she'd found something on his computer. Uh-oh. E- computer. I don't really approve of going through someone's history, of course, well, there but for the grace of God, etc. But she beat upset after one night poking her head around the bedroom door to ask if he wanted anything to see him sat with his laptop, looking at pictures of Megan Fox in a swimsuit and saying under his breath with each pump
Starting point is 00:41:46 who's your boyfriend? What? Pump! I'll go again. With each pump, yeah, he's pumping. He's one catch. He's pumping away, yeah. He's pumping away, yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:58 He's pumping away, yeah. The one moment poking your head around the bedroom door to ask if you wanted anything. See him, say it with his laptop. Looking at pictures of Megan Fox in a swimsuit and saying under his breath we'll eat pump. Who's your boyfriend? Can I ask a question at this juncture? Does he live in that flat? Because if not, it's a bold move to go round to see your girlfriend, have a wanker her flat with the door open.
Starting point is 00:42:20 Well, she's just gone to... What did she want to ask him? If he needed anything, and clearly he does who should play who's you need to answer the thing is I'll google these days you could find out in Megan Fox's boyfriend is maybe he was maybe do you know what maybe he was talking to Siri yeah maybe this is all a big misunderstanding it goes on it goes on. It goes on. Among the porn she later discovered, which she described as, surprisingly mild, and with a disappointingly simplistic taste for red swimsuits.
Starting point is 00:42:55 What's her porn? Child of the Baywatch generation. She also found a big fan of Special K. Yes. I think those two things went hand in hand for us. If you love special K, you love special K. Baywatch. Do you think that's why special K went with that because they knew that it appealed to millennials. Which came first. Well Baywatch. Did you ever see the show? Baywatch comes before special K. No, away. Baywatch.
Starting point is 00:43:20 Special K has not been around that long. Special K has been around. No, it's like big in the 80s. What? Really? Yeah. Special, the original title of Baywatch, the TV series, was special K watch. And they had to change it, because it was too close to the truth. I think special K was like a late 80s thing. Really? I was with you, I thought it was like, maybe it just had a very smart rebrand and that's
Starting point is 00:43:44 what when it came to our attention. I think special K, I think it's had a very smart rebrand and that's what when it came to our attention I think special came I think it's always been around as a sort of like as the I mean Emma's got the answer There's nothing like the look on producer of his face when she We all have a stab at the shit out for years Special K. Okay, I'm going yeah, okay. I reckon 90's the Rooking like E3 I thought you said late 90's okay 97 I'm gonna know I'm out from Emma's from the look on producer Emma's face. I'm gonna go Like 1947 what hang on but that's because you were saying yeah
Starting point is 00:44:23 Can change Tom, wake up. 2019. Wow. 86, I was going to go. Yeah, I would have said 1973 or something like that. Oh my God. It's the 1955. You were the closest.
Starting point is 00:44:43 Bang. You're not claiming that. Yes, I am. No way. No way. Johnny enter the conversation saying it's late 19. 55 You were the closest bang you're not claiming that yes I am Away Johnny into the conversation saying it's late 19 Oh, so when was Baywatch written there 1942? All pre-war Baywatch Can I just say one thing Bay of pigs was introduced the United States in 1955? Oh when did it become available in Britain? Emma you've got Emma you've got a new challenge while we chat about this United States in 1955. Oh. When did it become available in Britain?
Starting point is 00:45:05 Emma, you've got a new challenge while we chat about this. When did Special K become available? I just, and how long as well have they been doing the red swimsuit? Because presumably in 1955, a swimsuit's one event. A swimsuited lady would have been a shocking image to sell bread for cereal. Wasn't the whole thing about cereal,
Starting point is 00:45:22 like obviously Kellogg was a really fucked up guy, wasn't he? He would stop people from masturbating. Yeah, that's it. It's all it? And so it's all it's all come around come back around to Dan Dan down the wanking man Dagger He's looking a mega it's all that's a swimsuit. He's trying to stop himself He's he's going for red swimsuits. He's He's trying to stop himself. He's going for red swimsuits. He's wanking to stuff that he knows that he should.
Starting point is 00:45:47 He's ultimately... He's ultimate taboo. Yeah. If you're wanking to something designed to stop you from wanking. I mean, technically, red swimsuits aren't the thing that's supposed to be wanking. Let's not get bogged down in the details. But you're right.
Starting point is 00:46:00 If you are able to wank to the picture of that cockroll on the front of a packet of cornflakes, that is the ultimate... It's the final sexual taboo from a cock to another. If his full name is Dan Dunne the Wanking Man, it's my wonder you have a front name, so... I apologise, Dan, can I just apologise now? It's Dan Dunne the Wanking Man. You'll always be Dan Dunne the Wanking. No, right, there's more of this beef though.
Starting point is 00:46:26 We're halfway through the beef. And to me, there's already about eight beefs within this beef. Well, let's we forget. It's deep beef. With each pump he was saying, who's your boyfriend? Oh my god. We haven't found out who Megan Fox's boyfriend is. Isn't she married to that dude? Oh, no, maybe not.
Starting point is 00:46:46 I think she's married to a famous actor. Anyway, among the pawns, she later discovered, which she described as surprisingly mild and with a disappointingly simplistic taste for red swimsuits. She also found, link after link, to game FAQs. What? Freakly asked questions.
Starting point is 00:47:03 Oh. Um. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. It seems he had no interesting games whatsoever, but in his spare time was ruthlessly researching the games I was playing, just so he could appear to be vastly knowledgeable about them. He's made it impossible for me to play games in my own home when he's around now. So here's the beef. I say I've known my haze mate for far longer than she's known her boyfriend and therefore he has to go. This may sound harsh and that I'm way overstepping the line. What right do I have over anyone else's relationship? I agree with you all heartedly. But in my defense,
Starting point is 00:47:41 this is only the tip of the iceberg. There's also the time he took ketamine, locked himself in the attic with the Grange Hill theme music on repeat at full volume, promptly fell asleep, and the police had to break in. Weird that you don't lead with that. Yeah, that's not the start. I'd say that's the look on Rose Johnson's face, listening to that. She is a guest. I am very tense. I feel very tense about this whole situation.
Starting point is 00:48:05 And the fact that he owes a 500 pounds, which he claims to be unable to repay yet, turned up the other month with a cyber man costume he'd bought up even. And a photo of his brand new tattoo on his brand new iPhone X. I love it. He's got a tattoo on his iPhone. This guy is a star.
Starting point is 00:48:21 What kind of photo is this? He's got a photo of you tattoo. If you're there. Well, we don't know what you'reowner. He's showing a photo of you tattoo. If you're there. Well, what are you showing the photo of? He's showing the photo of you. Yeah, this photo of me. I'm close to you one. Look at this photo on my phone of the back of this photo.
Starting point is 00:48:37 So, am I being a baby-bellend? Should I just accept the fact I can't enjoy games and let her make her own mistakes? Or should she take this opportunity to ditch the drugged off debtor? Sorry, I didn't realise the vastness of the beef till I laid it before you. Cheers, Dan, brackets, Dan the wanking man. Close brackets. Right. You know what this is? I think I'm going to be ahead of you, RJ,
Starting point is 00:49:00 so this is probably what you're about to say. When he said, sorry, I didn't realise the vastness of the beef till I laid it before you. What he's really saying is, sorry, I didn't realise that I'm in love with my house mate. Yeah. You think it's coming, right? I didn't realise I'm in love with my house mate on jealous of this guy who seems to be, I'm going to say it, a boss to the wall legend. It was living his best life and nailing everything. And in the meantime, he's getting... It's because it is a weird leap to say, okay, he's got some problematic behavior.
Starting point is 00:49:33 It's suddenly he's putting it either he goes or I do. Like I've known you longer, he's got to go. It's like no, there are shades of grey in between, where upon who you just say hey, can he not come round all'd just say hey can he not like come round all the time or can he not watch me gaming all the time but he's laid it down as this binary it's him or me. This is very true and also he's got like this that the boy friend is weirded out by him. Yeah what by by? He said, you know, how he says. Early doors in the beef, wasn't it?
Starting point is 00:50:06 He's like, why is he like, is pinned back with how he speaks? Yeah, what are you doing, Dan, Dan, the wanking man, too? Very quiet, not quiet with confidence, quite the opposite. As well as, he's definitely quiet. He apparently has his ears pulling back. He has, and ears pulling back, eyes winding look
Starting point is 00:50:23 whenever you talk to him. As if you've found out whatever he's been keeping so quiet about Projection yeah, he's found out what you've been keeping so quiet about which is your in love with your house, mate The other thing as well is he has this strange. I've learned about projection No, this is me, but he's got this sort of strange kind of possessive There's a possessive turn of phrase he uses Can you go back to the bit when he says like I've known a longer or whatever that is possessive turn of phrase he uses. Can you go back to the bit when he says like I've known a longer or whatever that is? What's the phrase he uses
Starting point is 00:50:48 there? I say I've known my housemate for far longer than she's known her boyfriend and therefore he has to go this may sound harsh and the line way overstepping the line. Yeah. Well why do I have over anyone else's relationship? Yeah. I agree with you wholeheartedly. But in my defence he did lock himself in the attic. Okay, well we're getting... That's what the argument is like, you know what I'm saying? You guys once done that, my friend Oli, um, well definitely first front name is only for him. Sure.
Starting point is 00:51:14 A house party he took ketamine and walked around in a circle for three hours doing the the John Barnes rap from World in Motion. That's fine. I get these sounds like a lot. These things happen. You know about that last three hours I get these sounds like a lit. These things happen. You can't tell that's for hours. He must have done really slow. I did go.
Starting point is 00:51:28 Oh, no. Now you've just got to go because you did that. You know, if that was your friend that did that, you'd be like, it was hilarious. He locked himself in the attic and was listening to the Grange Hill theme tune. We had to call the police that bit. But you know.
Starting point is 00:51:39 I don't know why that called the police. I don't want to. I think he's called the police. Yes. This is a surprisingly mild guy who has a pawn for Red Swim Seeds. It's very sweet. It's innocent. It's in a school-gold gaming so that you can try and connect with this guy. Because he's being very, like almost like he's, he's not inviting him in.
Starting point is 00:51:58 Also as well, if you're, if someone comes around your house who's dating your friend and you just sat there playing computer games. I mean, this guy's not the way to make someone feel like, you know, he's bought a Cyberman costume. We couldn't only guess that that's for good intentions. Sure. And who has an ass Megan Foxe who a boyfriend is? I found out by the way.
Starting point is 00:52:17 Do you want to know? I'm so close to knowing who it is. Okay. That I'm gonna need to tell me. Is it your actor? You're so close to knowing who it is because I'm the line gonna need to tell me. Is it a joke? You're so close to knowing who it is because I'm about to tell you. Yes. Tell you a minute. I can picture his face. Can you? Yes. Okay, just grab his face to me. It's he's kind of like a generic white dude. No, I'm not having that with a brunette head.
Starting point is 00:52:40 A brunette head. Sorry, brunette. He's got brown hair. Yeah. A brunette head. Sorry, brunette. He's got brown hair. Yeah. No, he's white. Just white. But brunette on his head. This guy actually does have two heads.
Starting point is 00:52:49 He's got one generic white face and then one generic brunette face. He is... Give me... It's tricky because... He's quite tall. Do you know what? I was going to say give me another detail. There's nothing else you can tell.
Starting point is 00:53:01 No, that's it. That's what I'm picturing. Square round apple face. What kind of shape would you describe his face? Um, quite a good jaw. Yeah, you've got it mate. It is of course. Make a book saying go out with someone with a weak jawline though. I'm going to try to guess at that. You're kind of describing almost any Hollywood actor.
Starting point is 00:53:21 No, not this one. Harry has absolutely, he's guessed it. I'm going to do this motherfucker told to a T. I've told you. You have just described Brian Austin Green. They were married in 2010. And he's an American actor. You know the guy I do, you know you.
Starting point is 00:53:37 They were married in 2010. And he's an actor and producer, best known for his portrayal of David Silver. David Silver. On the big show. Yeah, the big, it's one ofal of David Silver. David Silver! On this big show. Yeah, the big, it's one of the biggest. David Silver in... MMMM.
Starting point is 00:53:50 Months. Man, how much sick day we've got. That would be more love. Love men. Game of men, correct? He plays David Silver in the TV show Game of Men. What is it? What is it?
Starting point is 00:54:00 Beverly Hills 90210. The big one. He was also regular. He was also regular on the terminator. But I mean... So that's who... There you go. Oh, I mean, look, that's who I imagined.
Starting point is 00:54:10 That's definitely here, isn't it? Now we see a photo. Stubborn. I should have said Stubborn. I've been a Stubborn. Oh, did you have to write a person? No, no. I've not enjoyed this bit.
Starting point is 00:54:19 He did have a fucking place. Well, at least you're honest. So, have we found out about Special Kay in Britain? Let's hear it. Okay, we'll do our years again. I'm going to stick by. Oh no, you have to stick the same. 1973.
Starting point is 00:54:33 Oh, she Johnson's like that again. No, we'll do it again, but go from what you thought initially, because I thought about... Oh, in Britain. Yeah, in British launch. I reckon 94. I went 97. 73 and I said 86 didn't I? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:54 1956. Oh my god. Oh, right. So why are they bringing in? One of the old schools. One of the old schools. It was one of the miniatures at my Nance House, which I can remember eating from the agency's pack. the agency pack.
Starting point is 00:55:05 Right, it's a city pack. So it was, yeah. Yeah, it was. One of the classic variety pack packs. I've got a new collection book. I tell you what, when they brought in Redberry, they changed everything. I love special K Redberry.
Starting point is 00:55:15 Oh, I hate it. Why is that? I find those bits to sour. And you criticized a bit where I tried to guess what Megan Fox's boyfriend looked like. This is good stuff, Parry. Yeah, sorry, and I carry on. Tell us about a special carry. You think we solved that beef? Well, but yeah, we've, we've, we've, that's not solved it, though. What's he going to, what's he got to do? He put his act together. I think, tell her how you feel. Tell your housemate you love her, Dan. Dan, tell her you love her.
Starting point is 00:55:45 Show her your spicy porn history. She clearly is after a guy you like. So you're into some freaky, deaky motherfucking shit. Just say, oh, you wouldn't believe the kind of stuff. Blue swimsuit. Say, everything I type into the internet is an acronym. That's all you need to know. It's a bunch of letters.
Starting point is 00:56:03 I just mash a bunch of letters down. Whatever comes up on Pawn Hub, I'm jerking to it. He's an acronym for Mania. He's an acronym. Yes. Beef solved. Beef solved. That's all we needed. RJ's furious, look. I don't enjoy any of this. No, no, I like it.
Starting point is 00:56:19 Be here from the starting, I can be solved. RJ, watch your beef. RJ, RJ, watch your beef. Now, RJ, RJ, you've heard from the starting of your beef! Soft! RJ, what's your beef? RJ, RJ, what's your beef? Now, RJ, RJ, you've heard from the jingle. It's never, never normally works, because the guest isn't normally called RJ. No, but five weeks. Five weeks.
Starting point is 00:56:33 We are going to ask you for a flat share-based beef that hopefully, Fanchael Standen is going to solve. Yeah. And let's chat about it ourselves first. What's your beef? So my beef is that my husband, so we both use electric toothbrushes and he, so you know Clark is already on board. He loves it. So there's a two-pronged beef. How can I say that quickly? Clarke is over excited about this.
Starting point is 00:57:12 I was just thinking about the electric two-pronged beef. You clean it up a beef in your house, but you can do freshness, don't you? We've had a number of issues. It's a two-pronged beef. And is it a two-pronged beef? Err, and is it? A two-pronged soup. That's key. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:57:30 Is it like a taskable style toothbrush? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh a Requiem for a Dream but for Mouth. I've got to say no. Don't watch it, very depressing. Oh no. I've heard it's hard work, so I've never done it. Yeah, really hard work. Time's going. Anyway. I think if you haven't watched Requiem for a Dream before you turn 30, you can't watch it because you're too, you have to have some of life's innocence left. Is that your wife? Yeah. But your husband insists on rewatching it. Yeah. OK, so you've got to go.
Starting point is 00:58:10 So there's a few issues bound up. And he's, clarkies, put aside himself with excitement about electric toothbrush being. Clarkies is so, I think that's what I'm saying. It's absolutely sweet kid at Christmas. His face has turned the same colour as the sofa we sat on and that is a peous coloured sofa. Oh god.
Starting point is 00:58:36 He's like a kid. Come on. Get to the beef. I have to hear it. Okay. So, there's a few minor beefs tied up already. These toothbrushes are really bound up in a few beefs, which is we have one charger
Starting point is 00:58:50 and he charges his toothbrush every night. He has this, he has like a... No, we do that. No, exactly. You're gonna waste the bucks, you know? It's almost as though he believes that he's got an unspoken right to use the toothbrush charge.
Starting point is 00:59:05 If I want to charge my toothbrush, I have to be like, can I am I allowed to, can I charge my toothbrush tonight? Sir, can I ask a question? I thought the idea behind the electric toothbrush was that you have one brush per family and then several different heads. Disgusting. Why is that disgusting? Because...
Starting point is 00:59:27 The juice comes down. The juice comes down. The juice comes down. The juice, right, and they're herein lies the beef. But the juice, surely, if he's a, if he's a sink wiper, he's a, he's a toothbrush wiper as well. Well, here we go, here we go, here we go. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:59:42 Can I be a good one? I think, I think, well, I think Clark needs a moment to make this. Let's go. This is Clark, he's born. Right, so you get the drip pitch down. You do, you can't avoid it. You rinse it off, but there'll be some water down, tooth pasty debris that drips down.
Starting point is 01:00:02 Now it's juice. It's a thick glue peaked off and ground in the middle. Like a milk. Material seed. If you're a match, it's a thick, glued, peaked, off and ground. It looks like a material seed. If you imagine it. It looks like milk, don't taste like milk. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding.
Starting point is 01:00:12 Suddenly I'm hating this. Right. He wipes off this dripage using our towels. What? Wow. Our towels for drying our bodies. This is an open and closed shut beef case, I reckon. But it's here some more.
Starting point is 01:00:30 However, in the hands of a fat shawl. Well, you've got the thing is, so because I don't do that, because I think it's disgusting. And you're right. I don't want to rub old mouth juice on myself when I'm drying that's rank. But that means that when I put, I don't wipe off the juice.
Starting point is 01:00:49 So when I put my toothbrush in the cupboard, it collects. So you don't wipe off at all? No, I do, I do, but not every night. Off the toothbrush. I have to clean up the thing. I think that's okay. I think occasionally pop it in the cupboard
Starting point is 01:01:05 and going, oh, the cupboard's got a little bit of juice on it, I'll wipe that away. Although last time I cleaned the house, juice was, there was a lot of juice. The juice congeals at the bottom of the window. First of all, why are we calling it juice? He never, he never cleans off. You also know, electric, put toothbrush users,
Starting point is 01:01:22 that when you put it on the charger, you'll get a circle, you get a circle of kind of tacky... Mouth milk. Yes. Tacky mouth milk. Cheese, mouth cheese. I am the only one that cleans that off, ever. Right.
Starting point is 01:01:39 And there's just, I'm just the whole thing it builds and I'm having to really get what clean that off and it's disgusting. But it's the towel thing that's really got the towel thing. Do you think this is just open and shut? But what do I do? No, no, it's not for us to say it. Yeah, that's it. This junkyard for it. Let Clarky have a word though because this is involved here. This is Prime Beater for Clarky. Well, surely, surely just rinsing is enough. But that's what I do. I rinse, but somehow it must get inside and drip down from in the head. You need a pot for it. A pot.
Starting point is 01:02:14 And I need a pot to put it in so then you can clean the pot or glass or mug as you would a normal pot glass or mug. You can pop it in the dishwasher if you don't want to get into it. And it shouldn't go on the charger every night, that ruins the battery. That's what I think. Wait until it's gone flat, then charge it. That's what I would say. Right, because my instinct was to pass it aggressively by him some kind of rag.
Starting point is 01:02:42 Oh, rag. A sedicated, like a little rag with a picture of a tooth brush on it. Yes, that he can just flannel. A flannel, because here's a flannel news, which I also find disgusting. Oh, hang on, you don't like a flannel. There's gross, they always wet, they never dry. Just sitting there harboring and festering. Oh, what you think of the never dry?
Starting point is 01:03:04 Flannels, because you hang them up in the shower. What are you talking about, Bob? What do you mean, if a dry? They just don't dry them. I always feel like that. Oh, wow. When you get in the shower in the morning, it's never dried, it's just cold and wet.
Starting point is 01:03:17 Oh. I put them in the washing machine, and then hang them on the liner on the... Every day. Is this why you're running so much? I don't. Is this why you're running so much? I don't have it! This is why you're running so much! Because you're married on the verge of break!
Starting point is 01:03:28 I'm going for a fucking run! I'm running for something! It turns out that the lounge, very happy area for you guys... Bathroom. Bathroom. It is an absolute... It's the Scalstrom.
Starting point is 01:03:44 It's the Scalstrom. To be honest that the in our in our marriage I'd say that actually because we do have very good he's it obsessively clean and tidy Which is why I don't understand this toothbrush wiping is like yeah your toothbrush is clean But the towels it's like one of those mad kind of oh well this thing is clean But like what about it you've put in all the fill for all over the towels. Yeah. Mad. Very strong.
Starting point is 01:04:08 Trying out the sink. Well you know what, I'd love to try and solve this ourselves, but we simply cannot. You can't do it. Tom, do you want to get our friend, Fanshawe? Yes. Hello, is Mr. Fanshawe in there? I mean, we're not in the usual room we use, I'm going to tell you, we're not in the usual room we use, I'm gonna tell you now. That was watching a man lose his mind.
Starting point is 01:04:34 We're not, we normally are in a room where there's a very heavy door that Tom can just open a shot and that suggests fans should come in. Tom did it basically, a preview of his next Edinburgh show there. What the fuck, and how was that supposed to be? Where are your man knocks on the floor? What was he doing? Tom's been fired from phone, he might... He might into the door being open and shut, but there was no noise for it, because it was...
Starting point is 01:04:59 Yeah, the mime is still in the door, he's been closing, he's not going to read Tom on the pug cuss. Also, yeah, I did, he knocked on on you knock on the floor and say it's fan sure there. Well, you're what. Where is it? And then fan sure walk. I don't know who the second load of steps were. I can't wait to listen to this back in here. How about will. Oh, I told you I was in the room. Tom, obviously, when it got me from the other side of the door, well, well, ladies and gentlemen of the podcast,
Starting point is 01:05:35 welcome pleasure to be here. Welcome to you as well. Welcome pleasure to be here. Welcome pleasure to be here, guys. Well, I've been thinking there about roses, little problem. The whole technology, around here we are simple town. Traditions like hand carved, homemade, room temperature. The old fashioned folks, things come, things go, seasons of change, times of the day,
Starting point is 01:06:10 look into the sky, hold your hand, run, I'm coming. Anyway, sorry, I meant to say, I meant to say. Y'all remember, we traditional folk round here, hells, still pushed the plow. You remember the day John came by with his combine, harvest, earned, the world turned. The world turned. The combine, harvest, that's it. No, it was a cheap machine.
Starting point is 01:06:42 And it went through one field and then carried on going. Can't plow a river, but it sure did try. You'll remember the day that the cart came into town, unfurled its ways. Medicine man, tricks of the trade, you know, he had new invention from the big city there Try to sell a man a mechanical hat I'd off my cap to you sir, but I can't afford that mechanical hat Hand goes up back in the town square Jonathan the monoman Jonathan the monoman five dollars sir bought that mechanical hat headed to the tavern all fancy luck lily on his arm. Hey lily. Hello
Starting point is 01:07:40 Lily's a strong Lily's a strong will plow That's what we'd say to her on plow day plow Lily plow Sitting in the tavern Lily and Jonathan man Yeah, Craig goes up toast to the mechanical hat. All the drinks in the edge, gin out the glass onto the mechanical hat. Car to whirl and things are happening smoke coming out. That mechanical hat shrunk to the size of a penny. I don't mind
Starting point is 01:08:17 telling you Jonathan's head was still between. Let this hold on to nothing but an arm. Technology. I'll stick to my little humble cap. I think you should too. You sent me to brush my teeth at the cap. You'll never know. Oh, he's just a bit into the floorboards again. He's not on the door to late. He's not on the door to leave. He's knocked on the door to leave.
Starting point is 01:08:46 He's knocked on the door to leave. Gosh, you're not going to believe this. What happened? Well, a little fat trustee in the corner of the room. He caught it out. I went out of the door. Yeah, you went out, he didn't. He called it by the floorboards. He came in, didn't mention a toothbrush once.
Starting point is 01:09:05 Interesting. He moves in mysterious ways. He moves in a mysterious way. He moves in a mysterious way. Does that solve your beef, though? I feel like what he was telling me was, we should go back to using manual toothbrushes. Interesting.
Starting point is 01:09:16 Oh. I think he's saying if you didn't have all this technology, you wouldn't have this problem. Gosh, that's interesting. That's one interpretation, certainly. I think that could quite. Well, yeah, I've got bad teeth, and my dentist that I have got to use an electric toothbrush.
Starting point is 01:09:31 Yeah, but what's he creaming off the pot? She, actually, so that's a question of the age. Oh, very unfortunate for Paris. Well, time's up in both heads of your day. Well, time's up in both said to you, Jane. LAUGHTER But thank you so much for being a guest on the podcast. Have you had a nice time? I've had a lovely time, thanks for having me.
Starting point is 01:09:54 It's been a real pleasure. We've had a real pleasure. We've had a real pleasure, guys. Thanks for your much. And just to change into my red swimsuit. Oh my god, as god. We're all that real. We're all friends. Cheers, Namati. Yes. And now the tears flow. So many tears. Now the tears flow. Clarkie.
Starting point is 01:10:17 Rich, thick, horrible tears. He should email. He should. I'm all crying. I'm ill, I'm ill, I'm ill, we're all crying, I'm ill now. producer Emmer is not. She is scowling. So, what a lovely episode. It was produced by Emma Corsham. Corsham team. Corsham team. We have some live gigs coming up.
Starting point is 01:10:38 Matthew has got the deeds, says always. Yes. If you are going to be at the Aberyst with Comedy Festival, so away and we're going to be doing a live flat-sheffed slam down at 315, you're doing that. Great time to have a cookie. I'm just going to go for a cookie. No, I hate it. It was a lot like. I tell you what, move that, don't need to move that.
Starting point is 01:10:57 I'm not going to go for it, please. You're still making yourself. You can move that yet. So we're going to be at the Aberyst with Comedy Festival on the 5th of October. We're going to be doing 315, a live flat-chest slam down. Do come along, do support us. Because I'm there doing some solo work afterwards. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:12 LAUGHTER I'm just thinking another bite. He's thinking another bite of all things. Very more. When we did the movie Mistakes show, we hosted a few episodes of movie mistakes on, I think it was Channel 5 at that time, might have moved to Channel 5, it might have moved to Channel 3, might have moved to Channel 5, and we hosted it, and we would sit in this set, we would look like we were having
Starting point is 01:11:39 a movie night, and every time the director said action, Tom would habitually grab a load of popcorn, which was a prop, wasn't there for us to eat. He was prop-corn, he would grab a load of it and shove it in his garb. And so the first lion would just be an absolute garbored mess for you. I'm like, Brad Pitt. He's always filmed, Etych, isn't he? That's true, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:58 That's true, I've got that in my claws. I have all these. He's stuck in your claws. This is my claws. So, yes, come and see us at the Aberystwyth Comedy at the average with comedy festival. We're going to have a real treat of a time. Yep. We're going to have an action pleasure. Leave some reviews on iTunes. Join the Patreon.
Starting point is 01:12:16 Join the Patreon guys. Yeah. It's a real fun going to be a part of. There's always fun extra stuff and we've got some fun stuff to stick on there for extra recordings. Certainly. Enjoy yourselves. Enjoy yourselves. And stay tuned for the Patreon neighbourhood watch roll call. Cheers everyone. Bye! Please be upstanding. I'm already upstanding. And I am getting up as we speak. For the neighbourhood watch Patreon neighborhood watch roll call neighborhood watch watch get in the car man we're going to Vegas it's crap or bust man with my friend Ash Dustman. Get in the car.
Starting point is 01:13:07 Yes, get in the car, man. Oh, okay, man. I'm going to drive you. It's in a set of EastEnders. Yeah, I'm driving you all the way to Walford. Yes, that's right. To meet Daniel Holford. Thanks, man.
Starting point is 01:13:18 Cheers, man. Hey. What? Hey, guys. Yeah, yeah. What a go, yeah, yeah, what? What a go to London? How are we going to get there? Well, we're going to drive.
Starting point is 01:13:31 We're going to get in the car, man. That's a look, person. Wait, wait, which bits? The right? London. Hey, guys, get in the car, man. Okay, get in the car, man. We're doing 70.
Starting point is 01:13:44 Get the windows down. Feel the breeze. We're going to London to visit Will. Do breeze. Nah. Nice man. Hey man. Hey man.
Starting point is 01:13:55 Hey man. What's that man? What's up bro? What you want us to do? Get in the car. Whoa, okay man. Get in the car man. Okay man.
Starting point is 01:14:03 In the bandin. All hope. Hang on, sorry. Yeah. Buckle up. Okay, man. The band in all hope hang on. Sorry. Yeah, buckle up. But you see belt on. Sorry. I just it's quite important. Get in the car man. Okay. Okay. Okay, man. Get back out the car and get back. Get out the car. Get out. Let me just build a brace.
Starting point is 01:14:18 Take your seat belts off. Get up. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get in the car. Get in the car. I'm sorry. Stay in the car. Stay in the car. Stay in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car.
Starting point is 01:14:28 Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car.
Starting point is 01:14:36 Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car.
Starting point is 01:14:44 Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car.
Starting point is 01:14:46 Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Okay. I'm gonna hang off the back. Oh no, he's on my skateboard. Whoa! With a tiny bit of rope. What?
Starting point is 01:14:50 And then I'm gonna fly all the way to the house. So, why do you get in the plane? Of Stephen Pope. Woohoo! Yeah man, yeah man, yeah man. Yeah man. Yeah man. Hey guys.
Starting point is 01:15:01 Hey, what's going on man? What's that man? Get on this bike. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And then get in the car. Oh my god, no seat belts. No seat belts, but bikes. Bikes in the boot, man.
Starting point is 01:15:11 Bikes in the boot. So we're all in the boot. Yeah, man. Bikes in the boot, we're on the boot. That's a model. That's the game phrase. Bikes in the boot, we're all in the boot, man. Who's driving this?
Starting point is 01:15:21 We're the three musketeers. We've locked ourselves in the boot. Who's driving this car We're the three musketeers. We've locked ourselves in the book. Who's driving this car, man? It's Simon. Clarky, you've got to know what a rhyme is, mate. What? Last time I did it too fast. Last time I did it too far from the thing,
Starting point is 01:15:39 so you didn't know where it was. Clarky, chill out, man, get in the car. OK, man, get in the car, man. OK, man, get in the car. Just calm down about the whole rhyme and things. Get in the car. Oh get it man. I'm getting the car man. I'm getting the car. Just calm down about the whole rhyming thing. Just getting the car bro. Okay, we're getting on the M6.
Starting point is 01:15:49 Yeah man. Oh yeah. Yeah man. Middle lane. 80 miles an hour. Cool. Put the heating on though. I'm feeling a bit chile.
Starting point is 01:15:58 Who's next to me in the passenger seat. I'll tell you man, it's laven pile. You've turned into a beat poet. I love it, man. Hey man. What's that man? Whoa. Far out man. What I'm gonna say is, what's that?
Starting point is 01:16:12 Put your seatbelt on. Yeah. And get in the car. Not in that order. Okay. When you get in the car, put your seatbelt on. But the most important thing is, get in the car. Yeah, okay.
Starting point is 01:16:24 We were on our way to meet Saki Shah Oh Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah Saki Shah S This way, Trience, never watch! Get in the back of the government! Roll call! Far out, brother. and plotting her course to freedom at in Lutton. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Poor things.
Starting point is 01:17:11 It's the like theaters, December 15th.

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