Pappy's Flatshare - Beef brothers Cold Cuts w/ Steve Dunne S9E17

Episode Date: July 22, 2019

The Beef Brothers are here to sort out your beef with special guest Steve DunneSteve Dunne - https://twitter.com/stevedunnemusicPappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetIf you have a flatshare based beef you'd like us to solve then send it to [e-mail] us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareProduced by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman plotting her course to free to pat in love for. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things. It's like theaters December 15th.

Greetings, listener dear. It's Pappies, I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I'm Matthew. Here we are in your ear canal to deliver another weekly juice of audio juice. Freshly squeezed juice of audio and we've got audio juice now. It's an open-of-shot, close-through case. Oh my god. You need a glossary of terms to listen to this podcast.

Absolutely, and we will be releasing that at Christmas. Get ready for that, it's a fantastic toilet book, I think. So, this is a fun episode. Yes, before this cold cuts, we take your problems, listen to dear, that you have with your current housemates, and we fix them with a sparkling guest. Yes, and our sparkling guest this week was the incredible Steve Dunne. Yes, co-host of the Teenage Mix tape with Joel Dovitt,

he's joined us, and we we rifle through some cracking problems. Oh yes, and Perry plays an absolute blind or a genius. Yeah, watch out for Perry in this episode. Get your eye, keep your eye on Perry because... He's swinging for the fences and hitting it every time. He plays a very, very strong game. So enjoy the episode and we'll see you on the other side. Ooh.

Well, if you've got a problem, I'm calling a problem, if you've got a problem, call me a bee, if you've got a bee, Oh Here we are here we are. Yes, hello It's time for a beef brothers cold cuts. Yes, yes We put to write the wrongs of flatmates across the globe. I Yeah, wow, you know we. Wow, you need to know. We got wrong. We're going international today.

It's not wrong. I'm sure some of these are from people all over the, I mean, we know they're from actually. No, the pod net is international. Yeah. How far we've podcast the pod net. Yeah. Podcast the pod net internationally.

Yeah. And we've come up with, I mean, I know for a fact none of these people live outside of the United Kingdom. Well, it depends what your concept of the UK is. That's not a good point. It's constantly in the box. Yes, it is turbulent times. And look, there's probably an international flavor

to these because of our guest. Oh, I'm going to come all the our guest. All the way from... I live just on the road. In... Crystal Palace. Oh! No, I'm not a Tour of Maps. But the international traveler, Mr Steve Dunn is here.

Hello. Hey Steve Dunn, thanks for coming on the show. Thanks for having me. I wanted to applaud. You're a lot to applaud. Thank you. Just so that in a second. Thank you. I think you're the first leaf-brother's cold-cuts guest to get around to applause. So, bask. At the start we'll see he will see by the end. That's a good point. He is. He is. G and half at year. You've never been boot off stage?

No, I've never been boot off stage. We have many times. It's quite a feeling. Really is. What's a D-Day just started playing music? I was in a band when I was about 16 playing live rock music and up next was a DJ and he just kicked a track in halfway through us playing. I'm really loud and he just ignored us until we were finished. So you got how?

Did you try and sort of turn it up to 11 and sort of compete with you? No, we were like, oh, sorry mate. I'm okay. Oh, no, it's probably our bad will leave. The chance is to be like an Erasmith for a DMC. Yeah. Yeah. It could be the birth of something brilliant.

If you'd smashed through the wall and actually started playing his own game, that would've been amazing. It would have, but that's not what happened. You're too polite to boy really aren't you? Yeah. With any gig that goes badly, hindsight is a tremendous thing. Yeah. You always fix it on the way home. Yeah.

Tell you what we could have done. Being better. Yeah. I've got ourselves into the situation. That's the thing. I've wanted to do in the first place. Oh well. Next gig, yes. Well, no, for the next time.

Or not. So, what kind of a flatmate are you? You're a good flatmate. You're a bad flatmate. I think I'm improving. How so? I think I'm pretty messy flatmate. Emotionally? Oh yeah, my emotions are all over the living room. I'm in the bathroom, please.

Yeah, I'm locked up in that bathroom, captain. Yeah, I'm kind of, I'm the sort of person who's like, ah, dude, this is tomorrow. You know? I know, I know the sort. I used to be that sort. Yeah, I know, I just- No, I'm just not allowed to be. I think I'm better and the thing I find is when I do the dishes now I'm happier as well. That's one of my best bits of the day, which I

know is quite bleak, but end of the day you know you put your podcast on, do a bit of washing up and it's just you know it's a little bit of me time Yeah, a little bit of just just clean my dishes listen to puppies time alone Literally me time I've actually got producer Emma to edit out all the bits with Tom and Ben in Constance stream of my own voice in a series of more secures. This is me time with my few crossbeats. You're listening to me time. I am with me, with me Matthew Crosby. Yes, so shall we start?

Who wants to start off? Perry. I don't mind. This is a ripe one to begin with. Rhymes the word, there's something very pure about this. It really cuts through. Now these were once we picked up from our live shows. Lovely. Well, front name is only. This is from Catherine.

Hi, Catherine. Hi, Catherine. Let's come straight out with it. My brother, Wanks, so hard, his bed frame hits the wall. Oh my gosh. We share. They share a wall. Please help. Can I ask, do they share a wall

because they're sleeping in bunk beds? I mean, there's a wish. Yeah, which side of the wall is this? Please, bro. Which side of the air is with Rundi and see a shia here? What's this, is that a russian background there? What the sweat is? What the fuck?

Bo-da-ba-doo-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- with us. There's a little bit of a problem with this whole podcast release, it's a bit passive aggressive, that people can't solve the problem face to face. Yeah. Because, I mean, and also, you can't fight fire with fire in this case, you can't go well, I'm pushing my bed up against the wall and bam, bam, bam, we're going to go against each other. A little wank off. A little wank off, but because it's a brother sister thing. Fair enough. I think that's where it starts to feel like a strange fetish then, doesn't it? It is a little bit, yeah. Do you have a Claude Redock, a guest once, and she talked about a shared house where they used to have one-coffs. Yes. And all the girls used to go to the room and competitively wank. What? Who could be the first? I listened back to that episode twice away. And you're currently the world champion in your house. I'm not a fan of it.

A nominal term. The thing that really gets me about this is the so hard bit. Like, it's one thing dealing with your brother, knowing your brother masturbates, and he masturbates, but knowing the extremity of his action. Well, I don't know if it's necessarily hard. It's just extremity of his action. My, I don't know if it's necessarily hard. It's just... The extremity of his action, is it? Yeah, brother Wank's so hard.

He's a frightening beautiful essentially. So it's like, she knows he's doing it like, okay, sure, we all wank, but he's wanking too hard. So the chat isn't stopped wanking. The chat is calm it down. Rainy in a bit, mate. Yeah. So I just moved the bed a bit.

This is the question, right? Surely you want to have the bed frame in the distracting for him. Yeah, I mean, unless he's got headguards in his hands in here. This thing's around DMC. I did a minute on the beat. My brother, one of the classic parry family kind of treats was we were having a family curry. And my brother. My brother came here. I know, I'm mixing stories. There's two stories. Your brother came in the curry.

And then we all had it. We had no writer. You know what I'm saying? Well, this called my brother was summoning the kitchen and my dad was like, why have you, and it was when he was going out with Holly, he just started going out with Holly, he was in... I mean, 60-year names in. I mean, you can work out what, a second name is.

Why is that now, Mary? It was quite a leading question, my dad said, Sallow's up in the lofty of the day, why have you taken your frame off your bed? Your head all off? And he said, oh, I just kept on hitting the wall. And as it, he was midway through, and he just kept on hitting the wall, and then you saw the realization of what it was saying to my dad.

And Holly whispered next to him. They just both, he just hit him in the wall, and then they just both went really quiet and looked at the floor. My dad was just, well, well, that's probably for the best. And I touched our back, sit from here, and move to like such a great parry moment. Very healthy, very healthy. Oh well, no, no, no, no, okay. I remember what the curry one was, they.

He was like to a family curry and him and Holly were up in the loft. And my dad was like, come down, come down, come on guys, the curry's ready, the Curry's ready the Curry's ready and my mom was like what where are they what can they be up to and then they arrived quite flushed and sat down and Tim said oh sorry we're like everyone can you pass me a condom pop it on pop it on so is his is his bedroom the loft? Yeah, he has the loft extension. Oh, so there's a lot of it. He was all I need that headboard, it's new anyway. We lay camp cuffs on the bed.

Tell me, it's got to look for my old subUTO set. Yeah, we'll be in the loft, we'll be in the loft. So yeah, I've got a feeling, guys, that if she moves the bed away from the wall, he'll won't get back against it. He'll won't get back against it. Right back again. This guy's wanking too hard. Well, here's the thing, just move it towards the door and you'll want yourself down the stairs.

That's the house. Out of the house, yeah, yeah. And I'll hop into a new home. He's got his ice pants on, he's got his eyes close, he's really getting into it. You're like bednaps and broomsticks. Still got a little bed. Yes, it's just a horse-waste.

He wanked himself through the grand national and wins. LAUGHTER What a sight that would be. Oh, my God. We're approaching Beatch's Brook now, and there goes great fly, and there goes a good day. Here comes Brother Wang, you're gonna miss it! What a blissful day!

What a sight that would be. Real national treasure. What a wonderful, mental image. I'll literally never be able to look at a man wanking now without thinking of that. So what's the solution? Do we move? Do we dismantle the bed? Do we move the bed?

Do we move the headboard? Do we put it up in the loft? What do we do? I think we need some kind of cushioning behind the bed frame. I think is the most... But does she just put it there? Oh, she's going, cushion the bed and then leave. I think so because I'm aggressive about that. You just turn up and then you're like, oh, someone's cushioned my bed. Here's what I think she does. I think she has one extremely powerful wank back.

And that will send out a very clear message. This is what goes on. Right, so it's sort of like you kind of have a war. Nuclear disarmament type thing. If you ever shared a house where you've heard your house might have sex or your neighbour having sex and then you shouldn't have realised, oh, then they've heard me have sex. Yes, sure, sure. I can hear my upstairs neighbours and my next door neighbors, but not necessarily having sex What they were on sex together? No, no That's a warning No, they don't get on but the chance if those guys having sex is pretty slim

But next door I've got some very loud kids who like to start screaming quite early in the morning and then I'm stares. This is bad. I can hear him sneezing and putting a plug in and stuff. You know, it's like literally. Yeah, that's how thin the walls are in these 1900s houses in South East London. Like a glade plug-in, like an air freshener. I didn't ask you. Okay. Can you not tell the difference in the sound? You're right mate.

You're hearing going? You've got my He's here, it's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. It's always been my killies here. I don't think great Guys you found my kitties eel My kitties eel here is that I am unable to hear the difference between different plugs honest second I honestly good to it's my worst round in a pub quiz well Listen join the patreon guys and we'll be putting that to the test When when crossby plays earplugs When when Crosby plays earplugs earplugs Earplugs is a great name Earplugs can we we should play it plugs do you want to do that if you got if you got a Have you got a different type of plug with you? I've got I've got one I've got one plug with me

But it's a phone charger. Well, we'll put it in as a bonus round. Okay. We'll do it. We'll do it That is what we'll do it. We'll do it. That is what we'll do. So we're now looking around for plug suckers. Let's try and focus on the task in hand. There's a big, wanking brother. So, big, wanking. I think I'm going to say Catherine, go for one big wank, give him a taste of his own medicine

and I bet it will quiet and down. I want to know if it's brother and sister living together, are parents also involved? Do you take it up with mum and dad? Do you know what I've done about that? Do you say, do you know? My adoptive brother and two mom about one kid. Well, mum's going to know about it.

She's got stitches. There's a code. Do you've got brothers and sisters? If he's banging on the walls, if he's going so frantic that he's like bouncing off the walls. I'll sit on the floor. Wait, maybe he's not. Okay, do we?

We've peaking ponging around his room. Yeah, there's one sentence here that's going maybe he's not. Okay, do we pick and ponging around, is it real? Yeah, there's one sentence here that's gonna help Catherine out. Okay. Very subtly, one evening when it's like, gonna like night and like, oh by the way, sometimes if I can hear you, I think mom and dad will be able to hear you.

Oh, that's actually really good. That's really good. That's really good. That is a really good bit of sibling. And it's like, you're looking at, I'm looking out for you. Sibling work, but actually I'm looking out for me. Yes. That's pretty good. That could be it couldn't it. And then it's like a, this isn't there, mate.

Yeah, like that. I mean I'm cool with it. Listen, I've just, I've got your back bro but like sometimes I can use my mom, I don't want to be able to hear you. And then she gets into a room, has a massive wank to send out another clear message on the boss of this house. Now, when you're saying the horny boss of the house, I'm going to get re-aprinate that says that. Brilliant wedding present. It's just a merch. Guys, listen to you. Would you wear an apron that says,

I'm the horny boss of the house? Steve, don't worry. There's a lot. We would absolutely go nothing else on. Oh, I'm coming to your bar, there's a map. You would absolutely go up on it. We're nothing else on. Oh, I'm coming to your bar, the cute baby. The horny boss of the house. I like it.

In fact, is there any beef that can't be solved by declaring yourself the horny boss of the house? Well, after you apply it to the next beef. But I mean, that is an open and closed shut beef. It really is. Absolutely beef solved. Beef from the starting at your beef solved. Steve, do you want to do one? Sure.

A loud wake. LAUGHTER Sorry, we shouldn't declare that. Just go through to the next room. Plug yourself in. LAUGHTER OK, here we go. This is from James. Front name James.

Front name James. My flatmate leaves the Lurapak out all the time. It's expensive and she leaves it out next to the fridge. Why? So he's specified Lurapak. We are sponsored by Lurapak. Okay, I'll be thinking then it's a spreadable. Lurapak isn't?

That's the, it's not the whole point of this. No, because there's Lurapak and Lurable. Lurba isn't it? That's the, isn't that the whole point of this? No, because there's Lurpaq and Lurpaq spreadable isn't it? Yeah. So there's Lurpaq which is basically butter, which is, we can leave out. You can leave out, as long as it's not too hot. But then the Lurpaq spreadable, if you leave that out, is that going off?

Psew is going off, right? Oh, I mean, Is Lurpaq spreadable more spreadable? It's actually question-parking. And I've got your answer. It's more likely to go off the normal butter. Well, surely this is an open and closed-stroke piece case. Oh, okay. Oh my god, this isn't a short-accessive episode ever.

It's normal lurpack butter. We have to assume that. I'll say spread it. That's the information we've been given. And that is why the Hakesmate is leaving it out the fridge. So this is about two people. Someone who thinks butter should go in the fridge and is there for it comes out and it's hard to spread but it's cold. Or someone who leaves it out the fridge, you have a nice spread, you get for your butter quicker, you don't hold it hand, it doesn't hang around.

It doesn't hang around. That's to me feels like they're the two cups here. Okay. Let's go through it. Let's go through it. The farm safe. Where do you reside, Harry? Well, I was a recent two years ago.

I got myself a butter dish. Oh, love a butter. I have not looked back. So therefore, you don't have any of the spreadables, none of the plastic tubs, none of the chemically stuff that they jangle in there to make it like marge. You get yourself pure, pure block of butter. Love butter. Straight off the farm.

So tasty. Waitrose. You're sticking in your butter dish. There it is. And then whenever you need it, it's spread. Oh hold on. So you'll butter out the fridge. Butter out the fridge baby.

Madness. Right. Clarkey. Now it's because the thing is I'm I'm a half and half. I've got one butter in the fridge. I mean it's good. One butter out. Someone is doing pretty well. Guys. Two block butter over there. I'm not going to actually borrow some money. The double blast. I've got a butter amount in my own house. No, no you're four famously. One salted, one not salted. One salted in, one salted out. Oh hold on

I've got a fat. He's got a lot of his edibles Excuse me Clarke Achilles is braided Achilles is off the hookluck Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah but it's often there's often butter in the batter dish. Well, here's my take on the butter dish. You keep it in the fridge, but you take it out like an hour or so before butter time. Oh, do you know what?

That paris, give me my most sense. That paris, I'm all of this, just the most sense. Because my worry about the butter being out is that it's gonna go off, it's dairy, right? You won't leave your milk out. Absolutely not. It's gonna go off. You won't leave your cheese You won't leave your milk out. Absolutely not. It's gonna go on the counter. How long do you think you've got with your butter before it goes off?

I'm glad you ended the question that way. I'm sorry. How long do you think you've got with butter? You're eating a lot of butter. I'm not going to lie to you. You're sitting still but you haven't stopped sweating. Do you think you've got a butter problem? There's like these mics aren't plugged in. Do you think you've got a butter problem? There's like, these mics aren't plugged in. This is an intervention about you.

About your butter consumption across me. You're only freezes his butter. You've got a butter in every... It's like a sweet... In all of your intervals. It's not an open closed shut beef case. I think Clarky is... But was saying was that what you would do it. No two years my butter's never gone off

Yeah, same butter it doesn't go up But it's but it's finite. I guess if you use it at the pace you'll use it does it does it melt a bit Does it get a bit like with the water the globe you live in but it's not that hot in the UK Indoor so I mean we're talking we're talking to you. I mean I haven't got the I haven't got the time on my hands to be like willing an hour I'm gonna have a sandwich so I'll get the butter out and give it an hour Like it's just it's always there. It's always ready. But but but but but it's never I haven't a book off in two years They know a lot

Because what is it like what is it taste like when it goes off? Oh awful? You know what? Because what is it like, what is it taste like when it goes off? Oh, awful. Is it pure mole? Oh, my butt is on. It tastes sort of like blue and it's boiling. Oh, you're a butter out guy. Yeah, I mean, or just buy the stuff that's spreadable.

Like either one of those, to me, having something in the fridge that when you try to use it doesn't serve as purpose. Is they don't have it either keep out the fridge or buy it. But then that's like chicken. I keep it in my fridge. It's not ready to eat. That's preparation time.

Yeah, but it doesn't have to be like. That's different though, because I don't need another jar. I don't have to be like chicken. I don't need another jar. I don't have to milk it myself and then churn it up. I can't believe it's not chicken. It's the first name they went for the mary-jip. I'm going to be releasing spreadable chicken.

That would spread. I would, yeah, yeah. To make a quick chicken sandwich, chicken spread. Oh, yeah. Is that chicken compote? Chicken compote. It sounds grim, but then I don't eat chicken. Potato.

Chicken patty. I do. Basically, chicken patty. Chicken liver patty, chicken liver patty. Have you been a part of patty? We're just inventing things that already exist. Where do you keep clarky? Where do you keep your bottles of ketchup? Fridge or not fridge?

Fridge all the way. Parry? Fridge. I'm just going to, you do have a fridge? Yes. Yeah, okay. My, my, my man used to keep her, her tins in the fridge as well. Oh. Oh. Old school. Tins of butter. Tins of butter. Tins of butter. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different, my name. You're awesome. Yeah, famously. I'll embed it. This is tricky, because I feel like we're

at a bit of an in-pass here. What are you saying? You're saying in the fridge? In the fridge, take it out an hour before. Yeah, or just suck it up. I'll be done eating. I'm not you, crossbow. So what about your morning toast?

Right? Your morning toast, you've got to get up an hour before to get the butter out. No, no, no, but with toast. With the toast, you cut off a slice of it, you put it between two slices, it melts and then you spread it. Yeah, I mean toast, it's going onto warm toast. It's going onto one toast. No, I've it straight out of the fridge, that's good.

You need a lot more butter if you're coming straight off. I don't know. I'm with Tom on this. Yeah. It takes a long time for it to melt to the level where it's spreadable. Not too long. When my toast comes out of the toast,

it's gotta be in my stomach in the next two minutes. That's true. It's a race against time before it becomes color toast. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So laden in onch. And also, he's talking about all this. He's giving it all this.

You take out an hour before. You can see on his face, he doesn't do that. You just rip the bread up, don't you? No, but I, yeah. I guess I don't have butter on bread that often. You're here pontificating. Wow, we're here. The bread of all chicken, isn't it?

That's how you do it. Chicken, then the jam. Yeah. You don't put butter on bread. Straight onto your chicken. Yeah, normally butter on toast and then the toast does the job of not in the butter. To be fair, I use a spread for toast and I use butter for cooking. Yeah.

That's why I use my butter for. So we're not really going to speak about this. These spreads, they're full of chemicals. And it's single-use plastic. I'm starting to feel increasingly bad about this. These spreads, they're full of chemicals. And it's single use plastic. I'm plastic. I've started to feel increasingly bad about it. I'm straight off the farm, I'm running paper. It goes in the butter dish.

You feel very clung to the earth. Is it right? So we're saying, James Govigian. Is that all right? That's what this saying. Stop eating butter. You know what? James, in fact, it's a good idea. You can go vegan. Well, let's look at what's happening with the housemaids. There's got to be some kind of compromise here, isn't there? As you board a butter dish, I think that might be the answer here.

By a really nice butter dish. Where's your butter dish? He's your butter dish, close top. Yes. Nice. Yes. This is lovely, it's got a really... Where's it from?

It's a lovely bit of business. Don't remember. Nice. LAUGHTER I'm talking about a real, shop-y spirit. This story gets better and better. Really? Where's it from? Where's it from? It's a lovely bit of business. Don't remember. Nice. I'm not a real shoppiece bit. This story gets better and better. Well, I'm a real shopping spree. I woke up. That was the dish. Here we go.

Can you tell me, can you describe it to me? What does it look like? It's got an easy action. I don't want to tell you. It's easy on the eye. What's the easy action to it? The lid pops straight off. Oh, it's a lid.

It's a lid. The lid's not attached to the plate.'s a lid. Yeah, it's a little bit of a lid. The lid's not attached to the plate. There's a little ridge. It's one of your classic butt dishes. There's a ridge that goes around, so it keeps the butter in. It's never too moist. It's still keeps a really good consistency.

Spreads very easily. I'm coming all out for butt dishes. You keep it in a cool, dry place. And that's all you need. Exactly. You know, I'm right next to the oven, so it's not getting the heat off the hob. I'm coming round to this. I need four or five buttons.

Yes, you need a butt or a trough. I'd love a butt or trough. Just pop it straight into your bath and then in the morning you can just dive in with your piece of toast. A piece of toast in each hand. I lovely battered bath. Yeah. Just paddle around in it with the towel. Pallin' around.

Make a sort of scoop of soup out of bread. Like the Scrooge McDuff of Dairy. McDuff! McDuff! They don't call it all. Never mention the Scotty Cartoon. It's very bad luck to call Ducktales Bites real names. The big you got wrong is the animal that he is.

Scrooge, McDuff. I think this is an open and shut closed butter case. Yeah, it's every butter dish. But a dish. Open and closed shut butter dish. By your house mate, a butter dish's but a dish. But a dish. I would put in closed, shut, but a dish. By your house might have but a dish and all of this problems will go away. Beef solved. Beef from the sorting at your beef solved.

It's hockey season and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a nice drink on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice? Yes, we deliver those. Golden tenders no, but chicken tenders yes, because those are groceries, and we deliver those too. Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol, and other everyday essentials.

Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See out for details Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes, four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining a woman planting her course to Freedom. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things in select theaters December 15 for December 15th. Er, so we have one from...

Er, we have one from Joe, and what she says, that her boyfriend sweats in bed. Brackets sleeping. Oh, it's time. And only can't help it, but it's too much. That is brutal.

We all sweat. I got to tell you. You get the night's sweat. I sweat a lot in bed. Yeah, I'm That's, I've got to tell you. You get the night's sweat. I sweat a lot in bed. Yeah, I'm in. And I don't mean to brag, but what are the key areas that you sweat for? I sweat all over. Just across the...

I'll have to turn my pillow over because it's too wet. Really? Yeah. You might want to look at your diet. You want to sleep in the fridge, mate? How much but you would just do that? It's just instead of a bed, just have a dish. I love it.

Clarke's spreadable. He doesn't even have it by the morning, yeah. He's just saying he's spreadable. Oh, this is tricky, isn't it? It's tricky when you've got a problem with your house mate and it happens in their sleep. And it's like, you know, what can they do about this? I think the thing is, I think I could sleep year round just under a sheet but that's not the

same for my girlfriend. Well why don't you get a sheet over the top? So a D.V. yeah that's probably it. I think this is actually the problem is it's sharing a bed because I'm exactly the same. I at least once every other night wake up and I could have pissed the bed it's that wet. And have you checked? I also pissed the bed. It's so hard to tell. I don't have a PhD stick. No, take the old taste test. And I was the other one, I'm wanking in the bed a lot as well. Of course, of course, you're sweating so much. The bed's traveling several miles. You're awake. You're drenched. Yes, one of the grandmas. You're a real bed-jockey.

A real bed-jockey. Covered a melted butter every single. But I find that, yeah, the reason for that is, I would in mid-winter have the windows open, sleep on top of the bed with just boxer shorts, and I would be happy with that. And she's like, mid-summer dress and gown for pajamas. It's like mental. So basically what we should do is you and I sleep together and our girlfriends. It's worked out perfectly. There we go. Be soft. Let's get back to Joe's beef here because it's been on the cards for a long time, you and Steve, sleeping in the same chair.

And you've really tricked us into it. Right guys? That makes sense, right? We're not going to have any more human wisings. Harry, you strike me as somebody who is... You could just sweat it in the day. I have the answer to this again. I know, I don't want to be boring because...

You're not being boring. You're not being boring. You're not being boring at all, but is this what you do? The two duvets. Double duvets. And I'm all sweaty. Never ever look back. Different togs. We've got two different togs, double duvets on our bed. We've got a king size mattress. If you can't have a king size mattress, it still works on a double, you've got a double mattress with single duvets.

And they do it in Scandinavia, it's the Scandinavian way, one bed, two do-vase. Is this a GCSE mat problem? Alright, alright, the first one. Because that's where it feels like it's the... The dragon crane. 25 miles per hour. The bag of crane sleeps in a sleeping bag. The chicken is buttered.

So it's so spreadable. So, you go to bed, you have a nice cuddle time, you're intimate, you're together. Then when it comes to the good night moment, you say good night, one rolls into their duvet, one rolls into the other duvet. You were inside the duvet. Her togs are bigger than my tog because I'm hotter than she is in that one. I have a very thin tog. And the great thing is she can have lower rashly, you can have he man. Exactly. a very thin tag. And the great thing is she can have law rashly, you can have he man. Exactly. So, you can do that. Yeah, exactly. My partner has extremely bright pink. Do they cover

still? Right. I have a classier kind of white to hide the stage. So, so, so, and therefore, weird yellow trim. Is it that sort of? Yes. Therefore, Joe, he can perspire away or he could just have a sheet on, he could stay cool, but you're in your separate duvet. Then you wake him in the morning, you're both awake again. That's enough time for him to tell down and then you're into it again before you go to work.

So I just think that it's like, once we went into the separate duvets thing, it was like a proper lightbulb moment. And no, none of that tussling for a duvet in the middle of the night accidentally kicking each other, who's got the sheet, who hasn't? You kind of have this kind of, you have your own space, but it's still a shared space. It's not bad, it's not bad, I mean, I mean, I don't want to say this because he really gives

me the arsehole, but Paris, Paris bossing this episode. That's not so shame. I, it's so much so that I feel like he could be a sort of Dr Hillary Jones bigger. Just going doing sort of couples counselling. If this becomes a genuine podcast where I just give people the solution to their problems, we're in trouble. We are in trouble, yeah. That's good.

When did you become the sensible one? I know. Well, it's just, it's since I got this birdish. My life's turned around. It started with a butter dish. It started with a buttedish. It started with a buttedish and I've never thought it would come to me. Well, yet another, I think. Open and shut closed beef case. What was that? Wait, I've forgotten from the start of the episode. What did we say was the other phrase you can use to solve a beef and see if this works in this case?

I don't know It goes on an apron. I'm the horn. Oh, I'm on the chief of the house Hornie bust of the house on the hornie bust of that is it also works in the in the Diva as well Whip the sheets off and say on the hornie bust of the house Well, I mean I can play Sleeping in an apron's not bad. Also a good solution. Yeah, you sleep on your back if you're cold sleep on your back if you're cold, sleep on your front if you're not. Do they do boiler seats that are like, sleep, like, they do they in like, panel somewhere. Like a state boiler seat, like a onesie base.

A onesie, yeah. But like, it's like an advanced onesie, so it's like, it's a duvet onesie. Oh, it's the whole duvet. Like you're wearing your duvet. You're wearing a duvet. Yeah, could you sleep inside a duvet, one z. Oh, it's the whole duvet. Like you're wearing your duvet. You're wearing a duvet. Yeah, I'll be honest. Could you sleep inside a duvet? A cape. You would cut it, yeah, it's kind of like a bit like a cape. Oh, you swaddle yourself.

Like you swaddle it around you. You're kind of like, it's a one z that's kind of made out of duvet material, but the one z is kind of much wider than, it's wider than a one z, and there's kind of like it matches up a bit. Like those flying guys, like you jump off the mountain. Exactly, like a flying guy, but instead you're leaping into bed. I think then. How are you lost?

Oh yeah, I'm lost what you have. No, quite deliberately so, I mean, I was born in my self-shipness with all that wisdom. Can I ask today? The only problem is, there's a certain lack of dignity when you have to scramble out of your dovetail sex. That's the problem, isn't it? Or a little bit of intimacy if you say hop in the dovetail. That's not my one's, eh? Hop in the old boiler suit.

Hop in type of boiler suit? Nothing sexy, you're then a boiler suit. That's a little approved for years. Hop inside the boiler suit, you go through the headboards? It was only a matter of time before Steve mentioned the new bit of an... Do you think slipknot have used that phrase to groupies in the past?

I hope in the odd boys. And now I'm not taking the mask off. Also, look at this crow at a jar. Do you keep your dead crow at a jar in the fridge or out? That's gotta be spreadable. The spreadable crow. Oh, this has a metal part. Sounds like a good part, yeah.

I guess the spreadable crow. Absolutely. I've used every Friday. Yeah. Yeah. Swear and pleased to get free Friday. Yeah Yeah, it's very attribute acts. It's true. It's true. Better every time. Everyone's wearing devise I've actually been to one of those bars where there's beds Into a bar with a bed. There's there's it's horrible. So there's like clubs. I went to on a card if where there's just beds. And there's people chagging, it's horrible. Chagging?

Well, they're definitely things. They're getting it on. Yeah, we had a very short-lived club in Wolverhampton called the bedroom. And it's just bedding, and it was beds everywhere. I never went, but I heard it was awful. You could hear the more wankin' thing. And it wasn't a broad-chain habitat.

You were just going into later. Oh, actually, now that might be... By the way, don't go use the toilets. They're playing really weird music. Sound like alarms. So... You have a double drop thing on toy kit. Oh, it's a Wankin life.

I went to a club where we were on Paris Stagg. And I went to a club, late opening club in Norwich, that one floor was a plane. It's like plane seats and they had like little holes in the window with like sort of they stuck in a bit of a picture of like clouds and like you know. That's totally felt like you're on a plane, yeah. So did you two not, you're all on the same stack? Yeah, I actually broke away and went to another club.

Right. You flew to another club. I flew to? By which way, I've got an easy jet flight to Bruges and a better stack. I got an orange to the room. It got to that point in the night where we were quite a long way away from where we were staying. And people were like, well I guess we'll go home and get taxis. And I was like, let's go go in. And then I went to a different club with three other guys, very lovely, until we sort of got there and went,

oh god, it's four in the morning, we should go home. I'm sitting in a plane but it's an idea isn't it? Yeah. Alright now let's not revisit that with now I'm starting to have flashbacks. Well not a friend of mine and a social minute university called the Hornet. Do you remember the Hornet? I thought the Hornet you were made to have the Hornet come on. So we were like, four weeks friends. You know, like that, like, first year, first term, university friends. And then we started a radio show together, and that's when we stopped being friends. So that's when we became associates, and then we stopped being associates.

But Tom Perry versus the Hornet was our radio show. I mean, you were the only listener. I listened to it. I loved it. And one time the Hornet just played the almost famous soundtrack. Yeah. You loved it. Not bad. You still have a bad. You know, I listened to it. I loved it. And one time the horn, it just played the almost famous soundtrack. Yeah.

You loved that. Not bad. You just turned it to radio, it wasn't me like, Parry, I found this song. It's nine minutes long. So we ran off the talk for nine minutes. And I'm like, yeah. That's not what this is about.

No one told us at gunpoint doing this show. But his big idea was a show called Intensities That's not what this is about. No one's holding us at gunpoint doing this show. His big idea was a show called Intensities. It had ten different areas, ten different cities. Intensities. It's not a bad idea. That was his idea. Jummer's catchphrase. Beauty.

Beauty. So, it'd be like, well, there's only ten minutes left of the show. Here's the doors with the end. Beauty. He's sitting back and looking out the door. This is seven minutes, mate. He loved a long song, didn't he? You did, you did, you did.

He loved a mega mix. Yeah, there you go. Drive bunny all the time. But yeah, in 10 cities, and that way then, you could live your ultimate stag there and be in bruise one minute Norfolk the next I don't think you have to Beijing pick Norfolk as one of the ten cities We've been one of my ten cities. You know I was gonna pick ten cities. I had a lovely time in Norfolk I really enjoyed it, but Norwich is not one of my ten cities. I mean, I'd like the idea of throwing in a couple of Curves balls. You don't want to do the big ten if you if you intensity's you want to be like sure you can be in Beijing

Now you're in Moscow, but also you're in whole Who's going to the whole room That It would be the end of night hop pot lovely. I do enjoy a hot pot That's good end of life for you, that bet. Yum yum yum. Beef selves. Beef selves.

Beef selves are starting at your beef. Beef self. So Steve, yes. Have he brought along a beef for us? I do have a beef. I have a flatmate who I'm married to. Yes. Hopefully soon that'll change.

I'll be staying with Ben in the bed. Yeah, sure. But for now, for the time being, it's more that she's got a real beef with me. Oh, okay. It's about leaving my shit stains on the toilet seat, right? Not the seat, sorry. Sorry. This is pretty open and clean.

Guys, be soft. So, it's going to sound like I'm wrong at the beginning, but hear me out. Guys, be soft. It's going to sound like I'm wrong at the beginning, but hear me out. You do a shit and maybe there's something left on the side. Katie thinks I should clean that up because she's, I don't want to see that. You would think she sounds like she's correct. I think she's right, however. My argument is, I'm't want to see that, right? Yeah. And you would think she sounds like, I think she's correct. I think she's right, yeah, however. My argument is, I'm the only boss of the house.

I'm the only boss of the house. I'm the only boss of the house. I'm the only boss of the house. I'm the only boss of the house. I'm the only boss of the house. I'm the only boss of the house. I'm the only boss of the house. I'm the only boss of the house.

I'm the only boss of the house. I'm the only boss of the house. I'm the only boss of the house. I'm the only boss of the house. I'm the only boss of the house. I'm the only boss of the house. I'm the only boss of the house. I'm the only boss of the house. I'm the only boss of the house. I'm the only boss of the house. I'm the only boss with the toilet. You either piss off your housemate. LAUGHTER

That's your choice. Very nice. Well, we can't solve this. Of course we can't. We're not qualified to. No. But Tom's going to step out for a second and bring in our good friend, Mr. Fanchor Stanton. Ladies and gentlemen, I've departed. Oh, I'm sure it's been a happy time. I've just broken up. It's been a hibernation. Ladies and gentlemen of the podcast Oh Congratulations.

I just woke it up. Oh It's been a hibernation There should be That's a matter of comfortable couch you got over there It myself some macaroons Oh No one expected that as your food choice

Had a macaroon Sleptil noons That's my phrase That's the system you have. That's the freeze. It's a good tattoo you've got as well. Well listen up and listen dear. Now I've been listening here to them, they've had problem over there. It's really loud now. Telling it down a bit there Might find a way for financial he not only start shouting loud, isn't the already was New friend angle technology there candle on a string

Recting someone suck. Don't know what I'm looking at. It's a microphone One day you'll teach me always. Michael of phone. Back in the day, it was a crate. You put a crate down in the town center and suddenly you're at the boss of the hog. Any hell. Reminds me of a story, dear. You might want to listen up here listen up real good It has so pertinence now

Man used to live in the town center there went by the name of Remington Jeff Wow, I always see shaving I'm actually standing right in the eyes as he came up with Remington Jeff Always free shayven, and he said, right in the eyes as he came up with Remington Jeff. Remington Jeff, came up with Remington Jeff. I mean, I remember Remington Jeff. 20 years young, 30 years ago,

I mean, I'm not in 47. Numbers, numbers. Remington Jeff there, you'll remember him walked around the town from declaring his name. Wow, wouldn't you? Long old name. Set out to do something no one in the town had ever done. Gonna stride up that hill and put a log on a done a done a rock. What's that there, Remington? A log on a done a done a rock

What's that they're going to the log on a rock we ain't ever sip the like Oh, he wins took out his log put it on a rock Came back down into the town was after some kind of parade. Men outside the shop. Why are you talking about their remington, Jeff? He said, I done it. Put that there log on that there rock. Old Sam, real wise like like knock out his pipe Point over Yonder Plenty of logs on rocks

Plenty of logs on rocks The look on old Remington just You can't teach you win-mill how to turn. You may put your log on a rock, but you don't have to go and make no song and dance about it. And I guess that's the long and the short of it there. Yep. Net time for all Finch!

And I'll tell you myself one more of Dindin! Pansure, standin' everybody! Well, there we go, let's take your log on a rock or in toilet. Yeah, Tom, I don't know if you listened to any of that. No, no, no, I was on the loo. It's things everywhere. Well, I think we've just about solved it. Remember guys, if you can't solve a beef yourself, you can always send it to us. Yes! We shall be there. We shall be.

It's beef brothers podcast at gmail.com. I know, they're not, I know, that address. No, that's fine. You said it up for us to... I sort of was taking you up to say it, but don't worry, it's me, brotherspodcastappgmail.com, if you would like to send one in. And... Yes, Mr Dunn, have you got anything to plug? And bear in mind, cross we will be able to recognise the plug. Through...

Through the wall! So... Sure, please, if you're a big fan of podcasts, listen to my podcast. Thanks very much, Steve. Steve has got the cod past, which he's talked about fish and paste. It's called Teenage Mixed Tape, co-hosted with Joel Domet, where we talk about music and nostalgia and have fun. It's brilliant, give it a listen. Yeah, please do.

Fantastic, give it a listen and thanks for a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star,. What a beauty. Did we give Steve a round of applause at the end? Well, let's give it to him now. I mean, he's left. I mean, he's gone. He'll hear it. If anyone deserves a round of applause from the episode, it's surely Dr. Wisdom over here. Absolutely. Clarky can congratulate you. Thank you. Very good. That is a little thing, for no more. A kill, he's ill. A real treat. So if you want your beef solved on these podcasts, then send us in a beef to the old email address, clocky. Hello. Matthew. It's beef brothers podcasts.

Wait, which one is this? You've made me confuse myself here. It's beef brothers podcast at gmail.com. Lovely, get them sent in and we will bang a few more out next time yeah bang a bit of audio juice it's a lovely it's lovely fodder for audio juice it's great audio juice you need to squeeze your beef in order to get that audio juice if you would like to leave a review of this podcast our five stars also do it that would be lovely we would enjoy that very much. Please use the phrase audio juice.

Oh yeah, please say some lovely audio juice at some point in the review. Yes. And also, in terms of leaving a review, let's do it the old natural way. If there's someone you know who thinks would enjoy what we do, then please tell them, just point them in the way of like one certain episode

or something that you've enjoyed recently and see if you can swell the coffers of our listenership. I mean that by the way you didn't have that sentence at any point during your decision. No. You didn't have a full grasp on it from I would reckon syllable one. I'm spent from the pod. You've done you did a really good job on the pod. At ease because. Listen. I tell you what what take a load off I'm just gonna gently straight the back your heads back of your heads So anyway, um also don't forget if you enjoy the podcast you could always go to the patreon where you get bonus audio footage Which I believe this week is me listening to some plugs so good thing what's not to enjoy and Yeah, I think that's it. So, what's not to enjoy? And yeah, I think that's it. Oh yes, we're

also going to be doing some live shows coming up quite soon. Yeah, excitingly we are at the end of the road festival on the 30th of August at midday. So get yourself to get it. It's a brilliant festival and we'll see you there. Yeah, it's a brilliant, it's a really fun festival. We're also at the London podcasting festival on the 8th of September which I think happens at King's Place in London. So we'll be doing a fun flat-chest damn down. We've never done it before. We've never done the podcast festival before,

so I'm very excited to be there. Yes. So that should be very good. And check out our Twitter app, Pappy's Tweet, and we're on Facebook, and all the rest, and all that remains, I guess. Is to say that this episode was produced by Emma Corsham. Corsham team!

Coming up is the Patreon neighborhood watch roll call, so stay tuned for that, ListenAdeer. And we'll see you soon! Cheers everyone! Bye! It is time, ListenAdeer, for the Patreon neighborhood watch roll call, so be upstanding! Oh! He's so far as on castors, it's James Masters. This person really knows how to fashion a plan! It's Rami-El, Das-Anam!

He's very stylish and he wears a fairs. It's Tom Londones. We really favor him. It's Mark Daveron. Annoy to them. In throng them. And hand them a tiara. Please all rise for Queen Nashur Varata. Wow. Very strong.

She's had a bit to drink and she's lying on the floor. Let's pick her up. It's Becky Gilmore. Oh my god. Which bit was the rhyme there? Oh the floor. Okay, it's Gilmore. Confused me to pick her up. He's had a bit to drink and he's lying on the floor where he moans. It's Patty Jones. He's had a bit to drink. He's in a bad way, but don't make an example man of Peter Temple man. Now, unfortunately, he's had a bit to drink. Oh, God. He's got lost.

It's a bunch. A load of sheep. Oh, no, not the sheep. A flock. It's a bunch. A load of sheep. Oh no, not the sheep. A flock. It's a bob, a craboc. Oh no. Oh dear. What was that? He said a bit to drink.

Oh no, I was so kidding. He said a bit to drink. He's pulled on the floor. No. He's in one of his many pickles. Oh no. It's Paul Nichols. Oh.

Gosh, this goes from part to part. Lad. No. He's had a bit to drink. Oh god, he's had a. Lads. No. He's out of bit to drink. Oh, God, he's out of bit. He's not drunk. He's out of bit to drink. He's all wayward.

Please, don't give him any more. It's Robert Shaw. Oh, it's Roger Shaw. Oh, Roger Shaw. I've had a bit to drink. Roger Shaw, by the way, my favourite of the bonds. Now, I hate saying it. He's out of bit to drink. Oh God yes. Things are getting a bit messy. No please. It's Roger Massey. He's had a bit to drink. Oh no. His name's Myoscoff. That concludes the Patreon neighborhood watch Rogo!

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