Pappy's Flatshare - Beef Brothers Cold Cuts w/ Stevie Martin S11E013

Episode Date: March 29, 2021

The Beef Brothers are here to sort out your beef with special guest Stevie MartinStevie Martin - https://twitter.com/5tevieMPappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetAnd on April 20th at 8pm GMT we are holding an online Flatshare Slamdown with guests Evelyn Mock (Rice to Meet You podcast) and Tony Law (The Tone Zone). Tickets are £5 (free for NHS) and are available here - https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/pappys-flatshare-slamdown-w-evelyn-mok-and-tony-law-tickets-148215682095If you have a flatshare based beef you'd like us to solve then send it to [e-mail] us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareProduced by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A cast powers the world's best podcast. Here's a show that we recommend. Hi, I'm David Boris, Canadian historian and host of Curious Canadian History, a bi-weekly deep dive into the wild, worrisome, and wonderful world of Canadian history. This season we've covered not season Alberta, the Palestinian partition, and even the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. We also have eight seasons worth of back episodes all right there for your listening pleasure. Check out new episodes of curious Canadian history every other Tuesday wherever you get your podcasts. HeyCast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere.

acast.com Greetings, listen to Deer, I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I'm Matthew and welcome to another Papi's flat share of Beef Brothers Cold Cuts. Beef Brothers Cold Cuts, one of many formats under the flat share umbrella. Beef Brothers Cold Cuts, Caesar's bringing a guest in and deal with your problems. And this was an absolute doozy, wasn't it? Yeah, we've got the amazing Stevie Martin who you might know from Massive Dad, you might

know from her super successful Twitch stream, you might know her from the Nobody Panic Podcast or the Mike Levitator Podcast and she's just brilliant, she's really, she's such a funny person. Yeah absolutely before we get into that episode we should say if you do enjoy our podcasts, one of the formats you can only enjoy if you are a Patreon member. That's where you'll find our Flatshare Lockdown episodes. And there are tons of them waiting for you if you wanted to join the Patreon community. Yeah, patreon.com forward slash pappy'sfl flat share. You get three bonus episodes every week.

There's two of the flat share locked down, a bonus beef. And in fact, if you enjoyed our chat with Stevie, then there'll be a bonus beef this Thursday with Stevie. So bonus content from this very podcast. And yeah, join us there at thepatreon.com forward slash Pappy's flat share. I should also say as well, if you wanna get in touch,

if you've got a beef that you think we could say as well, if you want to get in touch, if you've got a beef that you think we could salt us. Oh, please do. Please get in touch. Yeah, I'm honest. So you have to get in touch. Beef Brothers podcast at gmail.com is the address to get to.

But let's not waste any more time, shall we? Let's just get into the plod. Well, if you've got a problem, I'm calling a problem, if you've got a problem, call it a beef, if you've got a problem, I'm calling a problem. If you've got a problem, call it a B. If you've got a B, maybe we can help you be from the sorting at your B. Oh, cut.

Stevie, thanks for coming on the podcast. It's an absolute delight, I'm thrilled. It's a real pleasure to have you on. What's, you said you just moved. What's your current flat setup? It's me, it's Matautus, it's my partner. It's the same thing. Did you know about that?

You're not expecting them to be there. I wanted the three beds for myself. You said tortoise with a lot more fondness than you said partner. Well, that sort of bear in lies, you know, the answer to where the beef's coming from. LAUGHTER My tortoise, you know, you can't be angry at her because she's just an instinctual creature. Yes, she pisses on her food while she's eating it often. Wow, that's a skill.

It's a real skill. Is it a tactic? It's a tactic, is it? What? So make sure no one else eats it. Yeah. You're like flies vomit up there. But I think that's so that they can digest it. Oh yes, I don't know if it's tactical.

Oh my god. Yeah, no it isn't. It becomes parry with his food tactics again. She has to, so she, they, tortoises drink through their anuses. What? Yeah. What a mistake. That's a big one. There you go. Now we're getting to the nub of the beast. Yeah. So they drink through their arsehole. You've got, it's got a cloaca, both an arsehole. It's a little, if you were an asshole. If you're a male, I've seen, if you want a real, right old time,

that Google, uh, tortoise penises, because they are, janky. LAUGHTER Janky tortoise penises. All right, they are distinct. Great band. I was passing there in Dilanco. Can't wait.

Can't wait to see them at Latachid, can't wait to see them at Latitude. Can't wait to see them at Latitude. But yeah, the female tortoises just have a little sort of, there's like a little anus essentially, and it does at all of the job of everything that you'd expect to be down there, except for a mouth, which you wouldn't expect to be down there. But it drinks, they drink, they intake water

through their cloacca. So what we do is we give Alison, she's not being in the bath, so we give her, we've got a big water bottle and she sits in her, you know, what will she drinks through her ass and then she eats through her mouth. But the problem is, is that tortoises are consistently, they're like boats, well, yet they're like, you know, when like you take that, they take it alone, they have to like get rid of the water, she's asking that boats do, yeah. Yeah, it's amazing. Wait, I don't think they sit on top of the water

rather than... Yeah, yeah. It's a pump out the back, isn't it? It's like spewing out water. Yeah. So that's what a tortoise has that as well. The moment she drinks water, she pisses herself. So then...

And is she pissing out of her mouth? No, she shits our ears. We should ask, firstly we should ask this at the start, what a tortoise. We've got to confuse with a colander. So she's drinking through her ass but then she she's pissing where she's pissing out of a different hole No, she's pissing out the same hole So the coaca. Yeah, so it goes in She's struggling in a rascal Yeah That can't be efficient

No, well at least at least as all you all for me, it's good because I know where everything's happening. What are you doing? Yeah. It's going. I got a handbook off of the Quiddith Porto's website and it's been working perfectly for me actually. Well, because I would say, I was about to say to say like that they're on to something

Because been able to eat and drink at the same time must feel amazing like like we we're eating a drinking in the same hole And that's that's a problem because you're and you've got like a really nice burger and a pint You can't kind of Overloaded you like I, this at the same time. How many times is this? I'm going to introduce you to soup, but it's going to blow your fucking mind. Soup, but the arsehole. By introducing that to the men, he's been better than ever. I've got a habit of soup.

So I'm, but until, like, I was up until that point, I was like, this tortoise is nailing it, food in the garb, but drinks going in up the air, so it's like taking on at the same time, but where I can't understand it is then the water shooting straight back out again. So wait until I tell you that the other day for the first time she pissed and shat at the same time and it came out like ice cream the color of ice cream looked up That's apparently what happens Which means the color of ice cream it was like mr. Whippy it looked like mr. Whippy I thought she was dying and then I googled it

It was like sometimes you taught us well Oh, the same person will you're in it and defecate it exactly the same time in which case it will look like Mr. Wippie the other ice cream. Oh my God. So in order to sort of drink and urinate at the same time you know like if you're playing a did tree do you've got to perfect circular breathing. circular breathing. Yeah is that what they have to do but through their claw accus they've got to have a sort of certain. There's like there's a pause as well so also chancey you've got in terms of how of... Through those patterns. You're right about that. There's a pause as well, so you're also trying to... You're going to have to have... So when the water comes up there, ask, they'll be a pause, and then what she does is she

rises really high up on her legs, like on a tippy toe, so her shell's really high up, and then it comes out like a tap. So there's definitely something happens in that period of time that's quite, you know, meaningful and profound within her body. So, you know, like they are their own house, like the stores. So they're also their own B-Day, expected, aren't they? Yeah, and mine, you know, you just turn her over. I can use her as a B-Day. I can't say you're sorry, she's B-Day, I guess I'm not saying you should piss into your own. So they're walking. They've got the right screen machine. Yeah, they've got everything.

They've got the lot. All the essentials. Yeah. And how old is your tortoise? Older than you. No, so she's a rescuess. We don't know exactly when her hatch day is sort of the clever eggs. Obviously.

And she's about 12 or 13 and they live too. If they're healthy, so this is boring, but there's this idea that tortoises lived to like 70, but that means that's quite ill tortoise, because that was when I was growing up, there was a neighbor who had a tortoise, it was like living a box of the bottom of garden, they fed it sandwiches, and then it lived to 17,

and it was like, it did really well, it's like, no, it didn't, you essentially it was like, it did really well. It's like, no, it didn't, like you essentially killed it. Because it's supposed to live, it's like 130. But, but, yeah, so if they're healthy. I genuinely thought you were gonna be like, it lives till 17, but that's an unhealthy tortoise. Healthy tortoise, I die of forte. It's almost thinking, well that's good,

but it turns out I'm a healthy tortoise. It did, it It doubles it. So, yeah, it's a very, I mean, she's going to have a little mate. Wait. Yeah. I've got to have children now. Yeah, that's because otherwise. Yeah.

Because otherwise, yeah, who's going to look after? The legacy is going to, well, because I find, in my bleak moments, I look at my little cat, I was wondering, I look at my arse on I was like, oh sorry, I look at my ass, and I think, why can't I think that you? Why aren't you also on the other feature? That's what I think. Well, you're looking at it, fun or poised? It's no use.

It's no use. Crossbeam butt-trugging a cup of tea again. My burger's getting cold. LAUGHTER Wow, wait, sorry, don't carry on. I was sorry. Well, I mean, it's good if it... Hurry up with your bleak, mate.

I'm loving them. My bleak and my bleak. Very funny. When I look at my cat, I do think I'm probably going to out live you mate, and that's quite a sort of sad thing. But you don't have that. My bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and my bleak and We're on its shelf. You could do that. It's like a little pencil case. Hey, that's like a good fucking DaVinci code moment in like a film where it's like, if only, if only they'd left a clue. And then it's like, you put an infrared,

you put an infrared gun on, not one's gonna like a light on the back of the shirt of the toilet. It's like, yeah, black light on the back of the toilet, and it says like, go to the arc to tree. He's not the greatest man you ever heard of. Where is the toilet? Is he sure recommends that tourist attraction? Have you considered all to the towers? I know it had a

bit of a couple of years ago. They've really pissed me off. It stays for now that it ever was. Please turn over. Don't bother with bruise. It's not worth the trip. What? What? Look at Richard Osmond. I'm coming for you. Look at Richard Osmond, I'm coming for you. So, and it is by all of this. You're staring at the set of your partner. Yeah, because look, she's fascinating.

You know, I also say, she's very quiet. She gets up with her own stuff. She does all that. She's a conversation starter. She's a conversation starter. She doesn't mind about it. You know, she's just living a little life in her little corner of the room. That's great. Also, crucially, she isn't, I'm not currently in her standoff with her, you know. Right. Yeah. Yeah. You're letting her do her. You're doing you. I think it's very important. And then it's what you'll meet.

Yeah, I don't make comments about her interior decoration of her run and she doesn't about mine and my areas. And I think that's the thing that means that the beef is with my partner who is a dog. We should say, we're like, Dr. Dunet on the show today, but no, you can't. So if you just, you've just moved, you've moved, Reese. Yes, it was like a week ago.

Yeah. Me too. And it's insanely, insanely stressful. This period is mad mad isn't it? Yes, it was, when we got in and we were like doing, trying to unpack everything and so I was kind of like, keep it together until I opened the Deliveroo thing for dinner and I didn't recognize any of the restaurants,

I just couldn't stop crying. That's the thing that got you, was it? Not the syncing blocked, okay, look, that's what it's like. Where's my camera? That's awful. Where have you moved to? I mean, you know, Woolwich, but like, if it's further out than I've ever lived

really before. So I just, it does loads of nice places. There was Nando's, but I didn't see that or like I see the Wacomama, so. Would Nando's have stopped you from crying? Yeah. But also, I'm very happy. It's bigger and we're trying to get, we're really trying to get a dog and go through

like a breeder, but the breeders don't seem, all of the breeders, I've messaged like, lovely long paragraphs being like, just really, I know the lockdown and there's big waiting, especially. And I'll literally, every single one, I was even about like a one word, one literally just said no, that was it. Why is it like high-steeve and no? So, really great.

They're really intense as a people. So that's also been happening as well. Yeah well they're famously not people people are they? No. They are animal people, the breeders. They spend all of their day, you know, wearing a drink and at the same time. On their dog. Yeah. Yeah and they all say like I've spoken to like four of them on the phone and they all say all of them as if no one's ever said it before

I like dogs more than people. Yes, everybody says that, like every preacher is ever said that, but they say it and it's like you'll never get all, like you can say it, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. What it means, what it means as well is like that phrase kind of gives people the license to be a bit of a cunt. Yeah. Like, it's not an excuse to go, I like dogs more than people, so I'm going to be a cunt towards you, right? Yeah. I like dogs more than people, so I'm going to be morassy.

He's ultimate dogs people, man. Yeah. I like people more than dogs, apart from those people. Apart from people who like people who like dogs more than I like dogs more than them. Yes, that's the category people dogs People who that's like like dogs You can be sitting in the back where they said no Stephen. You should go well guess what? I like those people more than I like dogs,

except for you, I like dogs better. Actually, no, no, I hear it out loud. Don't feel like you've got the upper hand on that one. I know, it's not pissy. I tell you, I sound like I've thought about it too much. Yeah, both too much, and not enough. Yeah. Be from the starting of your business.

Should we get onto some of our listeners' emails? Yeah. Sleep scary beef from Mike via beefbrotherspodcast.gmail.com. Getting touch if you can. Dear puppies and friends, please help me and my girlfriend. Kate and I have been living together for nearly three and a half years and are very happy together for around 23 and a half hours a day. However, a couple of times a week or more during the middle of the night when I'm in a deep dark sleep, I'm awoken by a shout of, there's someone in the room! This makes me jump up terrified about our impending death. I need to discover that it's just the dressing gowns on the back of the door every time.

Kate then falls back to sleep straight away and I'm left terrified awake for another 30 minutes. We've spoken about this and the only past trauma causing this is that she insists on watching scary films or documentaries on TV on the same nights that the dressing gown girls get us. Please help Mike. The interesting thing, it's great but at the same time it feels very easily fixed. Yeah, I know exactly what you're going to say, Clarke. Well, I know what you're going to say and I already disagree with you.

Okay, well, I was going to suggest drinking the arsehole. How can you deny that? No, it's got to be, first you get rid of the dressing gowns. Yeah, move the dressing gowns. Yeah, move the dressing gowns. Are you mad? Where? Where to?

On the side of the door. Yeah. What, on the outside of your bedroom door? Yeah. So when you get to your bedroom, there's two dressing gowns on the outside of your door. I mean, you're all the way. Because then they become pleasant centuries.

Guardians of the bedroom. Exactly. And hang on, they've got a riddle. Yes! One of them always tells the truth. One of them always lies. If you really want to... We're pressing guys, they're pressing guys, do riddle.

You can't have them there, that's plain odd. I reckon, right, here's something for you, Tom. I reckon if you were to put them on hangers rather than just hanging them on a hook, they wouldn't look like that. What? You're giving them shoulders. You're giving them shoulders. You're giving them shoulders. You're about to think that they'll be headless. You know? That's just a second words. That's just a second words. Yeah, but the whole thing is that but they'll be headless, you know Hit hear me out they're not headless because you put a mask

Yeah, just tie a pair of gloves to them and then throw them on the bottom fire and it everything Where else can't dressing games get like it feels like a simple problem? Yeah, bathroom. Bathroom, because they're obviously too bulky for a shelf or a wall like it was a shelf, but I don't feel the way it's the store thing. The floor, the floor, stick it on the floor like a human being. A wardrobe. No, on the floor, on the floor, there are trip hazards in the, they're too damp for the wardrobe.

But surely the, you can't have, but how come, why are you showering at them? I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like. I'm thinking of like a towel-y dressing gown, like, you know, like you put on to go to the bathroom. This is a big question, Perry, because I don't own a dressing gown. I've not really owned a dressing gown since I was a little kid. When are you wearing it? Are you getting out of the bath

and putting a dressing gown on as a sort of drying aid? Is that how it's- Certainly, from the bathroom, which is by I would contend, you can't store them in the bathroom. Because how you get into the bathroom on a cold winter's morning. You know what I mean?

That's the whole point of the dressing gown. I think it's a complex issue. It's a... Ah! It's obvious! It's a... It certainly is. It certainly is in your hands, yeah.

We're going to bed now, so I'm gonna move the dressing gowns to one of possibly a thousand places in the house. Others in the back of the door where they scare the shit out of me. It's in the bathroom. If you hang it, if you've got like my fancy heated towel rails

or you've got a radiator in there or you've got, buy one of them hooks that get you like, hook it on the bathroom because then no one's getting frightened because you've turned the hall light on to get to the bathroom why are you you know no but you go you middle of the night you go to the toilet you you get in a yell from down the hallway there's someone in our bathroom you're like fucking hell in you go you're only moving the problem to another part of the house this is where you get rid of them.

It's a very complex issue. I was thinking, I've got bath, I've got bathrooms. I was going to say I've got that for. I've got trust in guns, but now I'm thinking, I go where am I like once a month for like a fancy walk to the shower. Like it's... To wake up.

To wake up. It's like a thing rather than it's everything. I suppose it depends how you use it. You know, like I'm fine to put it in a bathroom, but others aren't. Exactly in here, we to judge. Well that's sort of the idea of the podcast. Yes, sorry. Yes, sorry.

But no, no, it's interesting. So, Perry, you taught me through it. So, what are you sleeping in? What do you wear to bed? My sleeping gown You're sleeping and what are you sleeping in it underwear? It's a t-shirt in the nude. How are you sleeping? A t-shirt and oh and PJ bottoms actually my old age. I'm really enjoying those, like, leisure pants. Yes, yes, absolutely. Yeah, great stuff.

Your slouches, I love it. And so then you're getting out of bed and you're putting on a dress again. Obviously, in the summer months, they become shorts. Oh, they've got velcro on them. You can tear off. Like those training trousers. We are the first sight of spring. Anyway, so, yeah, clothes, but then to go to the bathroom, you're at your clothes. Oh, you take your dressing guys. Oh, you get dressed in the bedroom. Your gym jams don't leave the dressing, the bedroom then. That's interesting. Right, because I'm not just... You're not putting your pajamas on the bathroom floor

where they can get some... So wait a second, the dressing gown is just purely for the walk from the bedroom to the bathroom. And back again. And around the house post bathroom shower. Right. Am I explaining dressing gowns to you? No, I under-roaned the house post-bathroom shower. Am I explaining dressing games to you? No, I don't think... I don't know if this is this... I think people... When I get out of the shower, right? So when I get out of the shower, and I don't... I would sleep in underwear, so it's going in the wash anyway.

Sleeping underwear goes in the wash. So then I have a shower, I then go back to the bedroom in a towel, not a towel in the robe. I put a towel around myself and then I drive myself off and get dressed. Why do you then put on a robe to sort of trot around the house? If I'm doing my job. Do you sleep in your underwear from the day?

We've talked about this before, yeah. I sleep in my underwear from the day, yeah've talked about this before, yeah, I think Manderwef from the day, yeah. Not happy with that. Thomas Paul's, Thomas Paul did a real stinky face there. Not like in that, not happy with that. Tom, you will have to say some words in order for us to carry on as conversation. It's not a video aspect of it is only for us. Absolutely, hey, you're not happy with that. Do you not feel like you're taking the clag of the day with you?

This is a comment we've had on this podcast before. We've had it all before. The answer is no. I don't consider myself so claggy that an extra six hours of wearing these while I sleep is going to be a problem. And then take them off and I wash my body. Clagg, go on. I hate it. That's what I do. I think I'm trying to, I think, but I think that, yeah, I wear, sometimes I'll wear the same under my eye, put some fresh pajamas over the top.

I'm like, like, what? Hang on, what? Fresh gym jumps over the claggy pants. They're not claggy. But if you've been on the DLR mate, they're claggy. They're not in my pants. You can't tell me. You can't tell me. you know, you know, you know, commuting to Woolwich and you haven't got claggy pants. I don't buy it mate, I don't buy it. Tom, can I ask you a question how often are you washing your slouches?

Every four weeks. Oh my! Well, someone, 12 times a year! This is, you are Captain Clag of Clag Mountain. And this is just lovely. You got a VJO thing, mate. No, because I'm using them. I'm only using them.

I'm only using them in a very stationary position. No, they're climbing a time of the, the claggiest time of the day. You're in a bed where you sleep time. No, they're clashing. Oh, man, you're in a time of the, the clackiest time of the day. No, you're in a bed where you sleep time. No, you think about how much you walk and clag around in your pants, right? Yeah, it's like, you sleep off, not, I'm not on to the DLR.

I'm not on to the DLR. What is this, why is this about the DLR? Right, I'm not on to the DLR. This is somebody, you've listened, he's moved out of London, and now he's getting on London. the DLR is the life he's I'm just enjoying I miss talking about the that London things it makes me feel like I'm still in touch The old London flag It was a real piece. Super. Look, the, which is what a tortoise does when it does two things at

one. Surely, look, look, your bottom half is doing very little moving at night. You're not sweating. You have never bad dream and then you're stuck to the ceiling. Think about your legs, right? They're not moving back and forth. They're not on the go. They're moving. I mean, sweaty legs, you don't get sweaty legs in the day, do you? Is that a thing? Like sweaty calves. It's more than cro- For vastness of the legs, you're honest. It's your genital. We're talking about the crotch.

Yeah, here we are. The crotch in the back crack is what we're talking about. Yeah, that's why we're talking about that. We all know what we're talking about. The crotch in the back crack is what we're talking about. Or is the torso is caused the laughing gear. Don't get your laughing gear at this mate. It's a full week cloud of that. Oh, I've got a claggy gob.

Mate, Tom, I cannot believe four weeks. That is insane, man. The fact that you're trying to shout out the people down the way. You're trying to shame me for having a new pair of pants on every single day that I will wear for 24 hours. I think it's no. Because also when I'm out and about and about

and seeing people, it's a fresh pair of pants, right? Yeah. Oh wait, are you changing your pants? How many times you've changed your pants? Every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every time you change every good. Oh my god. I press the button, the old pair fling out the trouser leg. I point it towards a nearby recycling bin. It's like the greatest cave. You should get out the bottom of your trouser leg and hope that someone doesn't notice. Just down a drain or on the DLR. Actually, I had a thing that happened on the DLL, which was that I had, I had, I had, I did, I did nothing where I'd washed my trousers and then they'd got tangled up in the laundry in a pair of pants, it'd been stuck in the leg of the Lord. So my nickers just shot out

across the DLLL and then I just picked them up and just blew my nose with them, pretending they were not here. Because my mum taught me that, because the same thing happened to her. When she was here, she was like, I was in a bar, I was on a date, Nick was shot out, blew my nose on them. Great, that's amazing. That is, that is like, yeah, that is like 300 IQ.

You're with 300 IQ moves, that's it. Steve, your mistake, though, was then putting them back on. Yes, I took my 12,000. Very claggy. Very claggy. was then putting them back on. Yes, very I think the one thing we can all agree on is it is a very complex issue that we've got. It's not, it isn't me. Take them off the door. Take them off the door Take off the door just before bed done man away you put them chuck them on the floor next The bed doesn't matter where you put them Can you just rekiosk is come again Clarky?

Where are you gonna put your dressing on? On that you know peloton of the stationary bike that you don't use There's nothing else is our absolutely. There's always something that you know Always something that becomes the thing you throw clothes over whether it's pop them on the Peloton pop them on the nice chair pop them on the drum kit that you're never gonna use all of that kind of stuff just That's I think that's that's exactly it. Take them off the door. Have you have you guys all got the you guys have got like the dream bedroom I used to draw when I was at prime to draw when I was at primary school. Like, I'll hold the test for a while.

So he's like, the pool table. Put it on the treadmill. Hey, I'm stuck on a rubbish. What are all these incredible things? I don't have any of those things to that, I just said. But you can put them on top of your laundry basket that's closed. That's helped.

That's where I put mine for them, or in the bathroom, either one. You know what? I actually think the laundry basket. I could see that. Well you don't see if you just have to make this. I could see that once a month. Pinch punch. Pinch punch first and the month.

I should remember to put something in this instead of just constantly wearing everything. I've just picture in it a laundry basket, like opening up and just going, No, Tom! No! You're forcing a pair of trousers that don't bend. Kill me! I wish I would die before you did. I would love to see the science behind this discussion. I'd love to see it too, Tom, because I'd imagine they'd be, I think it's gonna blow a few minds.

In section. In section. The harsh talk. It was, it was a bit much. It was a bit much. I started, I didn't know where it was going. Imagine you'll be in section. I started to say, I didn't know where it was going. Imagine your perception. I don't remember any of the one-fear of the cookies nest guys being in for the hatch.

Not watching nest trites. Oh, that one, I can't imagine one of them just playing his nose on his underwear after they've flown out of his trousers. Yeah, nice. One of the trousers, I'd care. Yeah, of course. That over there's big chief, he doesn't say much, but you can sure smell him when he comes into... When it gets to the 27th, believe you me. Well, is that beef solved then? Put them on the laundry basket.

Yeah, I mean, fuck you, God. Can you believe it? And the thing that Clarkie almost said, 15 seconds off, we'd read this out, was the solution all the time. Well, that only took 40 minutes. Yeah. Beef solved. Beef from the starting, I can be!

You solved! Beef Salt. Beef from the zoning I can be! Beef Salt! A cast powers the world's best podcast. Here's a show that we recommend. Hi, I'm David Boris, Canadian historian and host of Curious Canadian History, a bi-weekly deep dive into the wild, worrisome, and wonderful world of Canadian history.

This season we've covered not season Alberta, the Palestinian partition, and even the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. We also have eight seasons worth of back episodes all right there for your listening pleasure. Check out new episodes of Curious Canadian History other Tuesday, wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. acast.com This is from Jack and it's via PuppiesFlash at gmail.com. Jack says, I have a hot drink related beef, different to those featured on beef brothers

before. My housemates, I like it. I like that we have to qualify this as if we do the same ones every time. It doesn't really matter. Send us the same thing. we'll read him out. This is different. So he says, my housemate, slash girlfriend, never finishes her mug of coffee slash tea, ever. There's used to be a tiny annoyance of just tipping the last mouthful of now cold drink into the sink

before making another mugful or putting it into the dishwasher. This behaviour though seems to be escalating and it's getting on my mantis. I misread that the first time I read it and thought he said mantis, like a prying mantis. I'm impressed with the unusual pet. You love to see it. She and that's the girlfriend not the prying mantis. She has taken to drinking herbal teas and leaving more drink in the mug.

Now I'm faced with a half full mug of insert word tea and a residual tea bag tied around the mug handle, still in situ. Yeah. There are no other hot drink-related issues. We make about 50, 50 for each other in a mutually beneficial frequency. Am I mental and should I just get over it? Or should I try to stay from sort of intervention? Things I have already tried to literally no avail once more the mocks to let's drink in large mocks

Three getting a fresh mug every time and leaving the half full ones where they stand cheers everyone bye Jack Great be very strong beef It's a strong beef. Where do you stand? I'm sorry., no, sorry, sorry, no, no, sorry guys, sorry. It's seriously simple isn't it? Just throw all the tea out the house. Just put all the tea on the laundry basket. Just pour it. Just chuck all the tea away end of beef.

Strong beef. Herbal teas. Well, anyway, yeah. Do you have herbal teas in your house, Steve? Is this an issue that is on your turf? Not really, because I only up until about, I don't know, two weeks ago, I just don't like hot chocolate.

Drag like it all to each other. Yeah, drag like it all to each other. I was at a scolding hot tea bag, right in. Terrible. No, I don't really like tea and coffee and stuff. I get a very hot face and I get all sweaty, so I just don't like it. But then actually I've started to get into it. But I have had peppermint tea and stuff when I've got a voiceover or I've got to, I've got a bit. So I don't really, I'm not asked about tea and how people like to do it. But I'm

aware it's such a huge thing, because I'm just very interested to see how this beef plays out. What was your gateway hot drink? I started having more hot chocolates. Like, we got one of those like really nice fancy hot hotel chocolate velvetizers. And then it was like having some hot chocolate. I was like, oh, I'm sweaty on my face,

but I'm enjoying myself. And then I was really hungover. And I had a cup of tea and was like, God, Lord! Is anyone else tried this? This is... This is in sarcophane but not too much. Like, it's milky. Also, I discovered for the first time, I was at my red truck a month ago and now I see

I was stupid, I'm not really a biscuit person either. And I am, and I text my friend being like, do you know you can get Oreos in this country? I like, I tried Oreos but like, fucking hell. So that in tea is unstoppable for me personally now. So yeah, that was a very quick gateway, but I've fallen down it. And I'm sorry.

I really, I'm a bit of a gits in tea. Oh my God, what a treat. Such a treat. The mindset, I mean, there's a, in fact, former guest at this show, Keir and Doed. Blue mind, mind by just being like, no, I just don't like hot drinks. And I just like that's why he's a

friend. I get it now. Absolutely. That's two of you now, the two people I know. We knew each up. We really had a very quick connection here in a party. And suddenly we were just talking like old friends. And I think it's because neither of us had the heat in our stomachs of a hot drink. So you need the warmth of friendship, the warmth of friendship. The warmth of friendship, yeah, just to kind of heat us up, yeah. It was awful.

Yeah, it was, it was weird, but I know that people, like people get in order to, well, for example, my boyfriend has like a little, a thing, like a little tiny, thick, slacked thing in the shape of the teapot that you're supposed to put the tea bags on. And then it just builds up and builds up, and then eventually I just put them in the bin. But I don't know why they just put the tea bags in the bin, why do they have to sit on the side in a little dish? Is that normal? Yes, that is that is not

to be for have that, but I know what you mean, you sort of go why put it in the bin when the bin's there. Like it's not like the bin is miles away, the bin's also in the kitchen. It's really easily accessible. And also, tea bags never improve with age. I don't tell you. They never get good, do you know what I mean? Like they only get worse and rapidly so. Yeah, yeah. I tell you the problem with herbal teas,

and he's identified it perfectly because my partner is a big consumer of herbalities. I'm almost enemy. When I make her a herbal tea, I enjoy tying the end off around the handle. It feels aesthetically something very pleasing about that when you deliver it. And then you forget you've done that. You take the cup which is again residual tea, you go to throw away the residual tea and outflops this tea bag, it comes up, it catches you on the wrist, it goes all over the shop and then you've got to try and undo it from the f***ing mug. You've basically got a little wet ball and chain attached to the mug of

your tea, it's disgust. Sagi yo yo. A soggy yo yo exactly. Yeah. I think there's something in the design of herbal tea bags. Someone needs to re-evaluate what's going on there because like the paper and the string it's the fucking 20 it's 2021 and we're still using paper and string with boiling water. Are we mad? How is that not an app now or some shit like fuck me? Come on. What's that?

A lot of that. You can get ones that are like, you know, like you can just put leaves inside it with a little tea bottle. Is it called balls? Yeah. It's fun. The tea was they look like a sort of little medieval instrument at torture. Yeah, but I'm not fucking chim broad ben in Paddington. No, but you can get me, come on, so we've got one that's

we've got one that's the Loch Ness Monster and it's little net comes up and it looks like it's just sat in your tea. Oh, that's good. That is fun. How do you drink it? How do you drink around the Loch Ness Monster, bobbing out of your tea? Yes, that is fun. How do you drink it? How do you drink around the Loch Ness Monster bobbing out of your tea? Yeah, that is, no. It's like you've been offered a Loch Ness Monster because you're trying. Well, you do. Yes, we have to do.

You have to suck off the Loch Ness Monster. And if you've got like a chest of tea or what, like what's going into that tea? Loose, you boys loose leaf tea from a vendor on in a Camden market where we're supposed to. You're saying spree. Here we go. Yeah, you take the tea. from a vendor on a Camden market. It's a Spring. Here we go. You take the deal out, Camden market.

Oh, I can smell it now. Oh, London, you old beast. It's like all this kind of thing. You know what I mean? It is a bit of a fast, but it's a fast. That's what we're getting to. It's a bit fast. But you but it's a bath. It's a bath, that's what we're getting to. It's a bit of a bath. But you just said by your admission that normal tea bags

are all a bit of a bath, you know? Like the herbal tea bags are a bath, normal tea bags, people seem to put them in the bin, because it's... Well, like for example, are you scraping the Loch Nesses innards out into the bin? Are you fingering the leaves out, soggy leaves out of the Loch Nesses? Yeah, yeah, I get them the clonic, yeah.

Or are you rinsing them into the sink? And then you've got loose leaves in the sink. He splits into, his bottom comes apart, and then you tip his arse over, you pull the tap in, all the leaves go down the sink. I don't know if that's a bad thing, is that causing a fat burg? I'm telling you right now, it's causing a leafy fat burg. A tea burg. Yeah, I mean, right now it's causing a leafy fat bird. A tea bird. Yeah, I mean, it's a kind of a cocking time bomb.

Okay, well look, I've had three of these, so maybe I'll just, I'm sure it's not causing that much of an issue. Did you say earlier that the sink was blocked? Oh. Ha ha ha ha ha. I hate myself. I hate myself. No, you know there's your answer right there.

But what are we saying to our friends though? This is the thing we've got Jack here who is asking a quite a reasonable question. Should he get over it? Should he get over the fact that his partner doesn't finish the tea? Cause I think there's one solution. Cause here's the thing I've, and it've only happened in the last couple of years,

really got into not wasting food. It became a really big thing for me. So a lot of the time I will have lunch that's disgusting, you know, because like the other day, um, Charlie, because it's just 14 tea bags. So it's like Charlie had bought some white bread rolls, she had two of them. There was four left and they were about to go off. We also had some lea dame cheese that was really crisp at the end and I was like, right, a normal person would just chuck all this in the bin and go, there's fresh bread, there's new cheese,

make yourself a nice cheese sandwich, but not me, I made a really disgusting and huge, inedible load of fat. I just got a load of fat, sliced through all of it. Just put this crispy, thick, like waxy leardam, I just, on it and just ate through it miserable, you know, hating myself. I'm with you there though. I will say in the food way. I feel like I would do in that instance is I would train myself to be really into the Dregs of the tea. So every time I saw a half a cup of tea there I'd be like, fine, I'm having a half a cup of tea there, I have be like, fine, I'm having a half a cup of tea there, and I had a little bit of coffee, I had a little bit of camomile. You can heat it up by just popping a bit more hot water in it.

Yeah, or just like it. And then, like, you're like, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, just like that. Like it, like it in your gobb for a couple of minutes. Yeah, you can, of course, get in the amale. You're hot, you're hot, gobb. Yeah, you're really, you're nice.

You can make a good, you're hot. Put it in the oven, bake it, you know? You can do so much you can do Maggie. You're a Maggie. You're a Maggie. You're a Maggie. You're a Maggie. You're a Maggie. You're a Maggie. You're a Maggie. You're a Maggie.

You're a Maggie. You're a Maggie. You're a Maggie. You're a Maggie. You're a Maggie. You're a Maggie. You're a Maggie. You're a Maggie.

You're a Maggie. You're a Maggie. You're a Maggie. You're a Maggie. You're a Maggie. You're a Maggie. You're a Maggie. You're a Maggie. You're an ancient note about like a legend about not leaving your tea. So you use the tea to make an ancient scroll that you're then leave it somewhere for your girlfriend to happen up on.

Yeah, that's really smart. That's really smart. I'm glad you're calling that smart. Like a kind of cursed, like a cursed riddle or something that would say, if you leave your tea, something all that's gonna happen, you have to drink out of your arsehole, whatever it would be, you know, something like that would be the case, yeah?

Yeah, that's it. That's great. Top looks, top looks very upset by it, so I'd say beef's all. Can't believe for all hopping madly on board with this. It's a bit of fun. It'll inject some more levity in their relationship. You know, it'll take the distraction from her. She'll probably be so into the role play of it.

The role play of it. She'll finish her tea. Yeah. Exactly. Make it, make it fun. What about drinking games? Introducing drinking games. Oh, yeah. Like where you have to see it off. Finish your tea. That might that might have that might be a effective way to do it. You put like a shot of vodka in it and then like chin it. I'll just not be alcohol. Yeah. All right. Sorry I don't really understand. How do you guys normally make tea? This is an intervention. A beer and then you put the tea in it.

Do you know what? I would have, I wouldn't have mind this intervention if you just soaked it in vodka first. Um, right, are we, are we, are we calling that beef solved? Are we? An ancient scroll? Are we calling that beef solved? Are we? An engine scroll? A legend scroll.

I feel like we've talked about it enough to just be able to say beef clothes. There are two ways we solve a beef. We've come up with a really, really good answer or Perry gets bored of it. And I think we've done both of those today. One of which is move the dressing gowns. The other one is, sorry guys, Harry's sick of this beef

and wants to move on. He's got other things to do. This one isn't a complicated one. Moving the dressing gowns was an absolute riddle. I, it's to be honest, I think Jack, I don't think it's a problem. I mean, yeah, it's not really. You can also, if you know,

the only sum herbalities have that string, you can get herbalities that don't have the string so you could just, that's solved and also you're gonna have to just throw the teal way. That's fine. Just chuck it. Yeah, chucking a little bit of cold teal way is absolutely fine.

And if you are, yeah, I mean, maybe it's creating a lot of washing up if you're going to a new cup every time, but that's not really mad, it does it. Wash up is quite fun. Yeah, washing up is quite fun. Bees, is that beesaw washing up is quite fun. Well, you know, it doesn't let a ton of your desperate for to solve this bee without saying the fucking word. If you want to join the conversation at any time mate, the mic is yours! Was that beef solved?

I don't know, we're all afraid of... You have to be with that, aren't you? We're all enjoying cockies ideas, that's beef solved. Well, what do you want to say mate? What, Lyrical about the DLR again? I tell you what. Tell us what that didn't mark in you so well. Pop the tea on the laundry basket, beef salt.

I know where this guy's coming from. I have the same problem and it does grind you down, I will say. Oh right, that's the nerve with your power eight. The little things grind you down from day to day and that's going to get to you. What about if you just thought this now, so bear with me, like what about if you put, if you cut a small circular disk of sponge and put it in the bottom of all the teacups, and that would soak up the liquid. Hello. It's a race against the sponge, basically.

It's hosted with you or the sponge. It's like, you know, the old tortoise moving in two directions, it's come background, isn't it? Yeah. You need to, your tortoise the cup. Yeah. I love that, Stevie Beef. Be it from the starting out your beef.

Okay. So my beef is we've recently moved, as I've mentioned. And during the period of moving, he had a lock up, which had loads of his parents stuff in it. And you know, really lovely mementos and things we got like a dining room table from there great these parents are no longer with us as well and that is sort of important in terms of the beef and I've just got beef with that I dare so from my beef with death in general. So there's this thing that he wants. It's a large, I wouldn't call it art, I'd call it,

well, it's a large drawing of Sean Connore. Oh, oh my goodness. Yeah. So it's framed and it's done to go away from him. And even by his account he's like, oh it's a weird one isn't it? Because where would we... Well, you know, the loading for this is like,

yeah, no, it's not. It just doesn't lend itself to any of the rooms. Or the walls or my eyes. But we also... We also, I, for ages, I go for his birthday as a joke person, I got him a signed photo of Pierce Brosnan and thought that was just like a little silly thing because he's he also got a joke present years before we met a signed photo of Ted Danson. So I was like that's funny, now you've got Pierce Brosnan, Ted Danson, strange. Anyway, he then in our last part put Pierce Brosnan up in like pride of place in the bathroom

and it was a bit weird, like it just looked weird. It just looked like we were obsessed with Pierce Brosnan. So then he said recently, so he was like, you know, I'm not sure about this, but it's clear he is sure about it because it keeps coming up in conversation. For example, why don't we make the bathroom sort of character bathroom with Denson Brosnan and Conorick? I don't want that. What's the big character? Because I mean two of them played Bond and then you've got Ted Denson who I'd as well as well as Robin.

He was in Loch Ness. He was in Loch Ness. Well, he's thinking actually actually, he's a cubs. You've got three men, but it's not three men in a... It's not a bond wall, it's not three men in a baby wall. It's just some men. It looks like either. It looks like you don't know about film, basically. Yes!

You've just understand bond. Or you haven't seen three men in a baby. Yes, you haven't seen one and a half films. Yeah, but it really is. You're just like some actors. So, we've got to be able to put up any pictures yet. But what we're doing is, and what he's been doing is,

we've been putting the pictures in the rooms near where we think, as you go, this keeps... Can you show it to us again? Yeah, let's see. Yeah, it keeps a period. It's like A1, isn't it, or A2? Yeah. And for the listener at home,

we are talking mid-90s Connery. So it's not, we're not talking iconic leaning on an Aston Martin Connery in his pump. We're talking medicine man, post medicine man. It's not like. It's kind of, it's kind of somewhere between medicine man and before entrapment kind of a reconnery. It's a nice drawing, it's a very true to life. He's not in character, it's not him being in a film, so it's kind of, it's Connery mid 90s Connery.

But he's just having a look, he's just looking at you. He's just having a look. And it's big. It's massive, and it's, so the thing, yeah, so also as well, you know, it is dad, no longer with us, it's a present miss dad, so I can't be like, yeah, put in the bin, that's not nice, so I'm trying to be very tactful, but yeah, it appeared the other day, it just appeared in the pictures that we're putting up in the living room. So I just put it back

in his in my partner's room. Just not to say anything. And then it appeared again on the sofa. And it's like it's just, it's like he's trying to just sort of bring it, just sort of bring it into various areas. So we'll chat about it. So eventually I'll soften. So you've actually, but you've put it in because you said, you've said that you've both got your own offices, right? So you've got your own workspaces. And you said you put it in, because you've said that you've both got your own offices, right? So you've got your own workspaces, and you said you put it in his workspace. Yeah. Because that would be for me the logical place for it to go.

Yeah, all of his wall spaces already full. He's put up, he's got like 95 film posters and his entire wall is full. So there's no room for Connery in there. And I think he needs to swap one of the film posters. It's that, and, but he's clearly not going to do that. So I'm trying to think of a way. I, I can put Sean Connery up where no one sees it, like behind a door or facing the wall.

LAUGHTER Are you going to play a witch him? Yes! I wonder if you're going to, you're going to, you're going to dress and a witch him. Yeah! I wonder if you're gonna dress him going in. Anyone who's excited about bedroom door? No, I riddle me this. I wonder if perhaps you could not a great Connery there. I'm gonna say.

I loved it, not a great Connery from back then. I will say this, I thought it was, what I was going for was a mid to late 90s Connery. Oh, I thought actually that wasn't too bad. That was the period when you did a company Scotland. Oh, I love that your defence of your bad impression was, oh, actually it was good. Harry's just grabbed that hammer, what are you going to do mate? What are you going to do? Harry's literally just picked up, he reached behind him, he picked grabbed that hammer. What are you going to do mate? What are you going to do? Harry's literally just picked up,

he reached behind him and picked up that hammer. As if to over zoom and go, cross me, if you send another fucking words, this is coming straight through the screen. I'll meet you on the DLR mate. I'm going to say, Stevie, could you perhaps, this is quite a sort of, this is quite a big manoeuvre to go for, but could you get a variety of other pencil drawings in black frames and make a gallery wall,

but a huge gallery wall, so a lot of, you know, you could be a lovely, you know, a lovely little Scotty Dog or something, or a sort of a pastoral scene, but in, hide him in plain sight. He basically, yeah. Yeah. But camouflage him into the gallery wall,

so that people wouldn't necessarily walk in and go, bloody hell, that's a big picture of Sean Connery, they go, bloody hell, that's a lot of pencil drawings in black frames. That's a good idea. Yeah, but like in a, in a bathroom, that would work. Like some people have like novelty bathroom. The downstairs bathroom is normally somewhere

where people will have like novelty. Well, I live in a flat that I've only got one bathroom and the idea of that is where I sit and like look and everyone who comes to the house is like okay so I guess they're really into You know that like that's what like I understand the novelty bathroom of like I don't know some fun Pictures of rabbits or something, you know, you know, I guess they're a wrap their rabbit people fine But he's really looking like he's looking at you. Yeah, You can't have him watching you. It's interesting to say, because on our last episode,

we had a listener write in about a nude painting she had commissioned of herself, and she didn't know where to put it. And we suggested the stairway, because no one really stops on the stairway. That's so, because we've got a giant canvas that my sister did as a joke of me fully dressed and my partner behind me completely naked.

And we had it in the bathroom. And we had it in the bathroom. And when we were showing people around the flat to move in, we forgot to take it down. So three couples saw it. And then also it was on the estate agent website in the walkthrough video we didn't know. Awesome. How was it full frontal? No he's hidden behind but he's quite clearly like a naked man but you can't see it's you can't see anything. Yeah you can't see anything.

Still. It's difficult it's difficult and we've got the same situation with that canvas but that's going behind the door in the bedroom. So when you open the door, you can't see it. So then we don't have to explain to everyone whenever it isn't like. It's a joke, and it's a canvas, it's a thing. Stairwell's good. Could you put Connery below the portrait of you? That's a really good idea.

Could the back of the door, you know, the only problem is, well of course, if you shut the bedroom door, you wake it with a middle of the night and go, there's three people in my room. That's the only worry, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, but that is that seat, that probably is the best. Of course, I thought of also having, I can, like, a little, little curtains on it. Open and close, blinds of it, but I should have a much more cost effective way of doing, just putting behind the door. Yeah, because the kind of the rigmarole

of opening the curtains on Connery every day, that's going to be a lot of fun. Absolutely, isn't it? It's amazing. You play our Flora Scotland, yeah. Yeah, but you've got to do, but yeah. Exactly, yeah. Yeah, I think you've got to take it where,

that you know, take the dressing gowns down, put the picture on Connery up. Absolutely, that is, you know, you've got to take it where the dressing gowns down, put the picture economy up. Absolutely. That is, you've solved this beef for me. Thank you so much. I totally agree. Yes. Beef solved.

Beautiful. What a treat, that was. Stevie, thank you so much for coming on the podcast. Thank you for having me. It was a delight. My face hurts. Just unrelated issues. I've been drinking hot drink. I'm not drinking. Have you got stuff you want to be, you want to promote? Have you got stuff you want to tell people about? Where can people find you? Where can people see what

you're up to? Well, it's on the DLR, of course. Yeah, I wallage. I'm on Twitter at Steve Yerm and the S is a five. I have a podcast, nobody panic, which we actually came on the flat shirt one years ago. I got absolutely smashed. I was on the list. It's one of the most fun things that I've ever done. Oh my god, I was so funny. It was so funny.

That was really funny, but the Italian bread thing haunts me to this day. The Italian bread thing. But yeah, so that's it really. I'm kind of just just putling along, I'm not doing anything. I'm not doing anything apart from it. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Well, thank you so much for, thanks for doing this. It's been a real pleasure. I'm going to see you, buddy. I'd love me to see you as well. Be from the starting of your business! Well, what a lovely pod that was! I loved everything about that. What a lovely guest. Check Stevie A in all her other ventures,

because she is a class act. Yeah, she really is. She really is. She really is. Yeah. So obviously give us a review. If you enjoyed the podcast, you know, like, subscribe, do all of those things.

Find us on Facebook, find us on Facebook, find us on Twitter, find us on Instagram. Yeah. I'm gonna ask if we can have a photo of the Sean Connery to stick up on Instagram. I'm sure Stevie will give us a photo of the Sean Connery to put it on the gram so that you can see for yourself exactly what Stevie's dealing with.

But I wouldn't as well. There'll be another flat share slam down over Zoom on April 20th. We'll tell you more details about that in the next episode. But I think all it remains is to say Cheerio. Thanks for listening. It was produced by Emma Corsham, of course. Corsham too. Cheers everyone.

Bye! Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-uh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-d You know it's a news broadcast because it starts with well and then it pours well Well, please be upstanding Breaking news He got his ass out and it took an age It's Thomas Page. Duh, dun dun dun. Duh dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun Have you ever seen that thing it reminds you so much we ever seen that footage of the new the news goes like really nervous and just before he starts talking goes Yeah, yeah It's so funny. He got fired Yeah Day at work

Have a heart Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, fucking hell, this loser got her ass out and then started eating some Chinese food. She was really chomping, chomping. Oh, fucking hell. It was Sarah Thompson, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, I think you released a Sarah. Alright, well, this is absolutely, I didn't know if that kind of editorialising happens on the news very often. Absolutely.

I could have this loser. This fucking loser, Kirsturma. Okay, here we go. Duh, duh, duh, duh. Alright, this absolute. He was hanging around the precinct. He got his ass out and he and he said oh everyone have a look It was of course David Shambrook

This guy was getting his arse out in public. He was rested by the police. Of course it was Ian Gidee Gidey. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, right, this guy, this, I'll always done bloody oxygen. was nipping around the shopping centre and he bought a big standy of him. I'm not going to work tomorrow. I'm telling you that much.

I was trying to say you bought a card man, but why have I said a big standy of Des Lanham? Anyway, anyway, anyway, he didn't go his ass out and his name is Andrew Hydeman. Did he get... Does Linen's ass out? He got... Yeah, he could... He kept his ass out, firmly under wraps. Turn the standy around. He's Andrew, we're talking about that. Turn the standy around and a real Bronx cheer. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, d, d, d, d This legend got their arse out started trying to charge everyone a fee Of course they did it was KB

Breaking news everyone's favorite sweat has been up to a usual old tricks She got her arse out and then Inviting everyone to have a pile on It was Alice, bail on! Oh, they're in the precinct, they went through the shopping centre. And they brought a big card, aly of Beniccio del Toro. And just, you know, took it to a neighbourhood where they got their arse out.

They showed their arse to a tooken. It was, of course, Ashley Dugan. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh. Fuck yeah. Oh, this guy, not only did he take his arse out. He popped up a thumb. Oh, come on, don't do that Tom. The good thing didn't do good thing to do.

The classic harbinger of shite. Went into the shopping centre, got his arse out, to then called his friend Henry. It's not that enough we said to him it was Thomas Henry. No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no you're not going to believe this but there's absolute, thrutfully bit twat shows up in the shopping centre, kicks through the, or tries to kick through the doors there, they're automatic doors. Oh, the stand of the card standy shop. Of the card standy shop, yeah. Oh, no, the card standy, these are hers.

Got out there, ask, and did this shit into a copper pot Not in front of all the standies didn't know which way to look of course That leg was the one I only do it's got I'll discuss this absolute tall No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Oh breaking news someone went into the card standy shop and took a shit on Kenny G We've got a list of suspects and one of them is John G I'm riding things with themselves Oh God breaking news from the scene of the

cars tendishop let me tell you the the chef selection really got they really added a protest all over them honestly someone someone shut someone shut and then the world Thompson's beard, someone shout, the case flow is wine glass, somebody even shout, or Iainstley Harriet's whisk. The case aspect is Martin Fritz. Oh, the terrible man. Oh Fritzky, don't do that, mate. Oh, the sky went to the shot. He didn't get it. The age old joke.

And got out. It's tied a little popper. Oh, one, absolute one. It's none other than John. Oh, bad news from the card stand. He shot everyone. Someone's took a piss on Elon Musk. Is there no respect for the owner of Tesla?

Keep an eye out for her cheap suspect. Jessica. Oh Tentententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententent and the Lord the Rings. Well, they're positively sodden. Oh no! Oh my! No! Somebody's taking a dump on Orlando Bloom. Oh, we got it. Come in. Somebody's jeezed all up the back of Surrey and McKellen.

No, I would have wanted it. And someone's rubbed their cock on Elijah Wood. Jizz dole up the back of Syrian McKellen Someone's rubbed their cock on a larger wood Who's adding absolute cock wood here it must be James Lockwood Guys terrible news fresh in from the card stand shop Someone someone's really messed up in the boys own section You can only imagine Oh, so he's only given a 30 such as to run a Keating It must have been Justin but Keating Oh! It must have been Justin McKeating! Oh, to-to-. It stinks back there.

We can have to find out who was this prolific fighter. Oh. The fingerprint says earlier, Carter. Earlier, Carter. Oh, Carter. Oh, really bad news, everybody. I don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't go anywhere near Lady Gaga. Someone has absolutely coated her in shite. Oh no! I'd tell you what, she's so covered in chocolate sauce. I thought she was made by Cadbury and I could tell you now our cheap suspects. His his Matt Bradbury. Oh, don't do that, don't do that, don't do that.

To the fucking hell, we're back in place. Today's Patreon neighborhood watch roll call and remember a card stand is for life, it's not just for Christmas. Aaaaaah!