Pappy's Flatshare - Beef Brothers Cold Cuts w/ Tom Stourton S12E21

Episode Date: June 20, 2022

The Beef Brothers are here to sort out your beef with special guest Tom StourtonTom Stourton - https://twitter.com/totallytomPappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetIf you have a flatshar...e based beef you'd like us to solve then send it to beefbrotherspodcast@gmail.comSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareProduced by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Greetings, listener dear. Welcome to another episode of Papi's Flat Share Beef Brothers Cold Cuts. There's Matthew Crosby here. There's Ben Clark here. And there is Tom Perry on the actual episode, but he is not available for the intro for reasons we don't need to get into now. Just wait. We don't need to get into it. It's fine. We don't need to get into it. Guys, just chill out about it, all right? Okay. Everything's all right.
Starting point is 00:00:28 This was a super fun episode to record with our old friend from Sketch comedy, Tom Sturton, who was in a sketch team called Totally Tom, who were brilliant. Yeah. And the thing that I think set Totally Tom apart from other Sketch acts was they were incredible actors They were both really okay. Yeah, they were yeah, yeah
Starting point is 00:00:52 I was gonna say it's that they were both really really fit They're also fit. Yes, they're attractive attractive and really good good performers and that has That's manifested itself now in that Tom and Tom have made a movie together. Tom Pease produced it, Tom Sturt and has stars in it and they both wrote it together and it's absolutely brilliant. It's cool, yeah, it's truly brilliant. It's all my friends hate me and it is a comedy horror movie that is out in cinemas now. So a huge recommendation to go and see that, all my friends hate me. The other recommendation we'd like to make
Starting point is 00:01:31 is that you join our Patreon because Tom very kindly recorded a bonus beef that is over on our Patreon. If you go there, so patreon.com, forward slash, Pappy's FlakShare, there's also weekly bonus episodes. We'd love to have more Patreons, you know, it helps us do this, the free feed. So, yeah, get on board, join today.
Starting point is 00:01:51 Lovely. Lovely stuff, Matt. Lovely. Should we get into it? Should we get into that? Let's hear the episode. Sweet, sweet, app. It's a juicy beast. It's a juicy, juicy beast. This is Beef Brothers Cold Cuts with with our dear friend Tom Sturton. Well, if you've got a problem, I'm calling a problem, if you've got a problem call it a beef,
Starting point is 00:02:11 if you've got a beef, maybe we can help you be from the sorting at your beef. Thanks for doing this, Tom. Oh, thanks so much. Thank you so much for having me on, guys. It's a real pleasure. Really exciting times for you, everybody. Tom, if you're gonna ask,, if you're going to ask, so,
Starting point is 00:02:26 can you if you're going to ask questions, do you want to wait until you finish your quavers and then we can, we can use that then in the podcast. Before Tom starts asking these questions, like is that given interviewed? I like the Eleonations 11. I like to think that people think that's me eating the quavers because this is such an exciting time for me.
Starting point is 00:02:43 I've just kicked back with a lot of snacks now. I'm super relaxed about podcasts at the point where I'll just just get a grab bag. Yeah not yourself out. I'm living it up. Yeah exciting all times for you at the moment isn't it buddy? Yeah it's really it is really exciting. I made a film with Tom Palmer, my writing partner who goes, no, and it actually managed to go out and cinemas. And yeah, I mean, it's just being, I'm very bad at being present in these situations and being like, okay, take stock of this as a moment, but it does feel really good. Can you talk about a period on our podcast? Yes.
Starting point is 00:03:41 We've never been present on our own podcast, so don't worry about that. We've got to be present for this problem. I'm filming my flavours. So, have you been... Obviously, you must have had like your premiere and stuff. But have you just... Have you been to like a normal screening just to sit amongst people? Sit in a half-and-a-half glasses.
Starting point is 00:04:00 No one recognises me. Yeah. I haven't... In all honesty, we didn't actually have a premier print. There hasn't been, but there was a really, a premiered at London Film Festival. And actually, the premiered at the, I feel bad for calling them out. But the Prince Charles Theatre and the projector broke. On our first screening, and it was like unheard of. And we kind of like the film is a lot about sort of gas-like and stuff.
Starting point is 00:04:32 And I think the audience thought it was a publicity stuff when we came on stage. We're like, the project was broken, everyone. But you know, then we had to sit slowly like, I should be like, no, this is actually happening. So that was a weird sort of a start, but then we had an amazing screening at the BFI. And you know where you are with the BFI? The project is not going to break in the BFI.
Starting point is 00:04:58 You know what I mean? It's a good British projector, it's what you're saying. It's a good, it's a good, you're saying. It's a good, different level. It's a good solid brick. Yeah, it's made in Britain. Yeah, it's, I don't, yeah, it was, I feel, I'm sure that, I mean, everyone said it was like, I think it added a bit of mystery to the whole thing. It felt like there was a sort of, you know. Well, if no one's seen the film,
Starting point is 00:05:20 how much more mystery can you have, really? Yeah, yeah. What's this film that's breaking projectors? Be honest, have you actually made a film? Be honest, there are a few just going down with a broken projector to a variety of different screens. I've got around sabotaging every cinema's projector in London. And then, yeah, so I'm, no, I definitely have a foot. But that's interesting, you see that.
Starting point is 00:05:42 It's been nice to actually, you know, like I've been telling my family for about four years now that I made a film. And I don't think they fully believe me until now. It's like, it's been a nice, so. See, I told you. I have to let you go. Who is the loser now? I have to let you go.
Starting point is 00:06:00 It's probably actually even longer than that, as well. I think you've been telling your family for like 15 years that you've got a career and I can't wait for the day where I can finally say that to my family And then obviously there was I haven't snuck into it. We've just done so many Q&As to try and promote the film. I did have a vision of me doing that. I've just going in and experiencing a real audience, enjoying it.
Starting point is 00:06:37 I've actually just been, I've seen it too many times. It's just I can't sit through it. But I have been hanging out in picture house bars, hoping to be recognized totally. Yeah. That kind of thing. Like, what are you? Yeah. What are you guys going to see?
Starting point is 00:06:56 I did watch it. I've watched it already. I watched it this morning. I'm great. So if I, if I, if I at any point seem like incredibly edgy and nervous, well, that is me anyway, but it's also, it's, it's, it's really good. I thought it was fantastic.
Starting point is 00:07:10 It's very much. It is a weird film to watch in the morning. Yeah, it's not a morning movie at all, but I knew I was speaking to you today. So I thought, I've got, I've got to watch it before I see you. It's a really shit way to start your day that. Yeah, I feel awful. I feel, if anything, I don't want to do this. In fact, great. We great having you this. In fact, it's great, we can great having you on.
Starting point is 00:07:27 But no, it's really good. It's not the table. I was gonna watch it, but my laptop broke halfway through. Oh. It does that to stuff. It breaks technology. Yeah. Tom, how many quite as you were eating, by the way?
Starting point is 00:07:42 I've got a heart. How big's this bag? You've got a family pack going on. That was my sandwich. I was just finishing my sandwich. Oh, OK, having your sandwich as well. Quay for sandwich. Just a bag of quay was on its own.
Starting point is 00:07:54 Does not a lunch make? No, you're right. But a lunch does not a podcast make as well. So you know, I guess it's about time management, isn't it? So we should ask what kind of a person you to live with, what's your living arrangement? Because we're solving other people sort of flat share based problems, what's your living setup? Yeah so right now I'm living with two really lovely Australian girls who were met on spare room and and
Starting point is 00:08:26 Yeah, it was I thought I don't know if you guys have I didn't see myself Creating a spare room profile at the age of 34, but that's that's what that's where you are. That's what's happened It's a humiliating thing writing that thing and being like I'm some I like Netflix and I am making a film honestly. I respect coming all spaces but I'm happy to socialise. That's kind of cliché but yeah I got really lucky and too very nice yeah Australian girls answered the advert and it was super awkward kind of interview thing that happened in a pub where they decided if I was someone that would be okay to live with and I mean it's early days I've been living with them for for is this is even the right answer to the question I feel like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah something like giving you my like weird amount of detail but I think I'm okay to live with it's
Starting point is 00:09:26 taking a while I think I was I've been quite selfish house mate in the past and I think I've learned I've learned lessons and I come I am I am pretty good I think yeah looking back on and what I was like to certainly as a neighbour in my early 20s. I mean we were dreadful people. Well, it was me, it was me Tom, we just left university, it was me Tom and another old schoolmate. We were the self-professed after party house. When I say self-professed, I mean that, as in it was usually just asked that would go there. And that was actually a living there. So I think it was a bit of a stretch that title. But yeah, we were just really noisy and I remember a neighbour once shouted down to us out of the window at 8am. They were like, get real jobs, which was really fun and sad because we were like, oh my god, they know that we're actors.
Starting point is 00:10:35 And they think we're shit, and we should stop acting. It's such a specific kind of heckle. Yeah. We shouldn't have been playing the Sipsack Bonds at the age of the Thomas. LAUGHTER Well, it's not past the Bongo, am I right? Oh, no, right. LAUGHTER I'm going to go with it. And then, Tom, I think, shouted back out the window.
Starting point is 00:11:02 It's Sunday. We wouldn't be at work anyway. The person shout to back, no it's Monday. We lost today. That was a low point. There was another neighbour who used to come up and complain a lot, but then he would just sort of sit in. He would kind of like, I don't know, it was a really good technique of getting us to stop because he would just forcibly hang out with us for like an hour after coming up to complain. That was that was Luigi, the guy downstairs. But shout out Luigi, if you're listening. And yeah, so now I think I've left those days behind me, I'm a lot more respectful of neighbours and I'm the perfect house mate. What's your house now?
Starting point is 00:11:52 Is it pre-party or is it there no party at all? It's um that's a really yeah we're more of a like of a kind of no dinner table. So no like like no, we're just, it's a tiny flat, there's no capacity to do anything in here. Yeah, I like that, pre-party slash never going to have a party, but keep talking about it. So, this is my question about the setup and then I think we can move on. Okay. Did they have a pre-existing dynamic from Australia or are they just two people who also
Starting point is 00:12:29 found each other out on Spare Room? Or have you stepped into a long time friendship or what's happening here? They forged a friendship in England. And you know, yes yes they're not inviting me to as much as I'd anticipated but that's fine. And yeah they're really cool people. I think I was, I was, there was, there was Peep Show gave such a, I don't remember if you remember that episode, Peep Show gave such an awful portrayal of Australian housemates. Do you remember that one?
Starting point is 00:13:10 That's very unfair. They're incredibly respectful. They're a really cool idea. I think it's going well. And how long has it been? It's been two months. Oh, so plenty of time for it to all fall apart. That's all we need to know.
Starting point is 00:13:33 Should we solve some other people's beefs? Please. Let's get into it. Can we also book you in for six months' time to find out how this all unfolded. I'm being that cupboard with you. Be from the starting out your beef! Tom, seems to be talking about house shares. Let's do the one from Ross. Oh, okay, great.
Starting point is 00:13:54 How share be from Ross via Patreon? Get in touch. Hello! How bad would a house share have to be to not be worth a stupidly cheap rent in London? That's his opening question. The house I currently live in is in absolute squallah. I live with a hoarder couple who have a lovely dog but go for about three weeks without cleaning up its poo from the garden. You've got a garden, no. You can't. You never know when you're going to eat it.
Starting point is 00:14:32 They leave food at overnight, which they let their less lovely cat lick and leave hair on. And sometimes then eat it the next day. They also smoke inside. I think they eat the food the cat has licked. Right. Okay. They also smoke inside and oh, piss in buckets in their room. No. Oh, talking about bearing the lead. These people are serial killers. Surely I mean, you can smell it through the house.
Starting point is 00:15:07 Of course. Wow. It just keeps on coming. It's a cow off. Oh, super nice. It's a cow off. So we are all the landlords. I'm assuming not the supermarket, yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:18 Yeah, you're the supermarket. I'm assuming they're poor. But they're not that, though. Clean up in our form, all right? Hey. Keep hoarding all these chocolate bars. It's a co-op, so we're all the landlords, but they have lived there 25 years. There are currently four people living here.
Starting point is 00:15:37 The one not in the couple is fine. It's 250 quid a month. I mean, that is good. I mean, you know what? Oh dear. My room is big enough. Yeah, it's 250 quid a month in London. My room is big enough, but there is only one bathroom and it is always quite skiddy.
Starting point is 00:15:59 Oh. Skiddy. Forget ever bringing a date back. It's also worth mentioning. It's permanent accommodation. As long as I pay, I will never be kicked out. Real dilemma, eh? Hope you can see the funny side in this harrowing situation. Ha ha. From Ross. Ross.
Starting point is 00:16:23 He sounds, that ha ha at the end sounds really sad. It sounds like it's through tears. That's a Ha-ha for help isn't it? That's what it is. Ha-ha, once if you're okay, Ha-twice if you're a Ha-ha. That's like a manic laugh. That's a fascinating, that's a conundrum, isn't it? That's it, because when I heard it, I was like, get out, get out now. There's no amount, 250. Oh, yeah. Oh, half a river. And a third housemate that's just nice. I'm intrigued by the guy that seems to just be fine with all this. Yeah, yeah, because
Starting point is 00:17:08 surely he's okay or nice. They're fine. I think they said, how's it going? The other house makes fine. But you think if they're fine, is there not a chance for you to sit down and go, look, you're fine. Yeah. I'm fine.
Starting point is 00:17:21 Can't we have some sort of like low level coo or at least we ask people to clean the house? We're not asking, you obviously can't kick out the couple who've been there 25 years but I have the thing is they're 25 years, the definition of setting your ways, isn't it? You're not gonna get them to change. They're not kicking the habit of a picker bucket.
Starting point is 00:17:37 I think I'm thinking the bucket. It's a much worse thing in that house. Are they tossing those out the window? Yeah, they've been in that house that long that they still got like Victorian ways Yeah, like a bedpad Oh yeah, I mean yeah, is it uncomfortable to say poison the pets? Is it uncomfortable to say poison the pets? Oh, you think murdering the animals might be the way to get rid of them.
Starting point is 00:18:12 I think if you remove the, he leads with the pets quite a lot, doesn't he? I mean, what's insane here is they're, listen to that, they're all landlords, right? But this couple, smoke inside. Yeah, they, there's like a dick swing and thing going on with this couple And I think with with those kind of people all they need is a good strong face down And nothing says I'm facing you down like I've killed you cat and you
Starting point is 00:18:49 You could also do a hear me out rather than a face down what about a face off where you swap the cat and dogs faces could that work? Well, it's just a suggestion. They might just be like, God, you could have just called a house meeting first before killing our, I mean, we don't know how much this guy's communicated to anything to them. I feel like you... Could it be solved with a rotor? No, I can't.
Starting point is 00:19:10 There are two causes of action. You eat this set of barotas and then buy a few mobs or you murder the pets. The choice is yours, right? Maybe keep that ace up your sleeve, the murder. So you... You just... Just keep that power to dry.
Starting point is 00:19:26 Hold on to that. Because I mean, once you play that card, you can't be the only one. Oh, Snick is the power, do you keep in drive with the pick? Can you get his own bigger pet? Petty serve. Oh, hello. I don't think bringing a mountain cat into this house
Starting point is 00:19:40 is going to sort things out. Yeah, by a mountain cat, start smoking huge Cubans cigars. That's like a paparazzi bug. That's a good thing, man. I start shitting in your room. Basically, anything they're doing, I do them. And then see how they like it. There's the Sean Connery approach.
Starting point is 00:19:58 They bring a bucket of piss, you shit on your own bed. LAUGHTER Just shucks. That's a Chicago way. Exactly. You send one of their dogs to the morgue. You should on your own bed. Just shut your car going away. Exactly. You've sent one of their dogs to the morgue. Is that, you're sort of treating it like the first day in prison, Tom, where you've got to show, you're going to show your, your logo in order to further up the hierarchy.
Starting point is 00:20:24 Get into the cafeteria and punch the largest pet you can see in the face. Punch the fine guy who sounds weird. Make an example of him. Get him in the crosses, shake him down. They want to find him feet up in a bucket of piss. Then they'll notice something's gonna happen. It was like, what is it in Watchmen where it's raw shark? I've got locked in here with me. You're locked in here with me. I think you need to kind of raw shark it. What a raw shark.
Starting point is 00:20:58 I hope I'm old on it. All the solutions on this, just really violent. Is that really? Yeah, they're already that the way they're all really violent and they're all from movies that came out 15 plus years ago. Basically that goes one of two ways, there's either the violent ways or then what we always ball down to is have you tried just talking to each other? That's kind of just a gimme now, isn't it? I'm really excited about that. You know? I mean, we don't quite get into who this couple are either. Are you picturing them being, like, look, they've lived there for 25 years.
Starting point is 00:21:36 So you're picturing like an older couple and it's like, this is just how we do. I mean, they're going to be, you're on place them at least in their 40s, right? That's what you're made for. You're made for teas, I'm thinking. Yeah. So, but I guess any established thing you've done for 25 years. That's just what you do, isn't it? Just picture the, can you not picture it like, and start to imagine the smell in that house. They smoke inside and piss in buckets. Yeah, that is a heady combo.
Starting point is 00:22:10 It reminds me of some Edinburgh venues. You know, like you know when you get you you only go and see a show towards the end of the Edinburgh festival and you're in a like you know There's just like buckets of stuff in every just corner, stuff's dripping off the walls. It's got that kind of thing, except you know, you don't get to see some sketch. Maybe they're sketched to it. Maybe they're sketched to it. They're actually really funny. Maybe they're working on a film, we don't know. Imagine. Imagine if we found out it was lazy season.
Starting point is 00:22:45 Oh, by the way, it's lazy season. I shouldn't say that. They've got a really good BBC 3 show. What a twist in the tail. Well, look, if they are a sketch actor, just leave them a scathing review. They'll type themselves. I don't think I think you've got a fight fire with fire here. I agree. I agree. The fire is full of sketch duo with the fine
Starting point is 00:23:16 guy and out and out sketch them. The fine guys. The fine guys. Here's another one. What about if you start planting evidence of an affair and break the couple up? Oh nice. And then they would probably move out. I feel like they're standards are pretty, I feel like with the pissing in the buckets, I feel like they've given up on a lot. Yeah, but they could be doors pissing buckets guy. They could be smelly, but like staunchly monogamous. They could both go, well look, this is the life I want to live. I know I'm onto a good thing here.
Starting point is 00:23:57 25 years with this person, I've found this. So yeah, if you could plant some sort of hint of infidelity or something. It's a twist to me. Yeah, exactly who's pisses that? I didn't hear asparagus. There's a little wine wax with some piss in it. Why were you creeping around and hearing that? Can you feel me in?
Starting point is 00:24:24 Another piss bucket there, thong the floor. My cat is dead, what you kill them for. I'm kind of picking them as like the twits, isn't it? So you can kind of, you can kind of twitch them basically. Yeah, yeah. With like the aperture on the ceiling, that kind of stuff. Yeah, but with evidence of an affair. Glue another person on the ceiling. I think that's the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be the first one to be was helpful. Do get back in touch and tell us how it goes because 250 quid is an absolute bargain.
Starting point is 00:25:08 You're not moving out. You're not moving out. Beef solved. Guaranteed for life, beef solved. Beef from the starting at your beef solved. Tom, do you want to do yours? I'm just sure. I'm just sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would love to.
Starting point is 00:25:27 Okay. Yeah. High beef brothers and guests. That's me. My flatmate is an actor, a stage actor, to be precise. Now, I'm happy for him, but he keeps bursting into the room all dramatic and saying a big monologue for no reason. It was entertaining
Starting point is 00:25:45 at first, but now it's getting a bit much. I feel like I'm in the tempest or whatever play he's trying to be. Sometimes, if he's been rehearsing for a musical, I'll end up singing his dramatic entrance. I'm making a cheese sandwich, which was a memorable one. I've asked him to cut it down a bit and it just makes him do it more. What can I do? I'm supportive of his art but I might as well open my front room up as a theatre and have people come in so he can have an audience. There's no room for that though and the staffing will be minimal. Please help, how do I manage this? I don't know if my door handle, sorry, I don't know if my door can handle all the pressure. Thanks Tom. Well you've got to, you've got to, was it from you? You've got to open the window,
Starting point is 00:26:32 shout down to get a proper job. Yeah I was to do all that. All become an act yourself and and have a better career than him and that's a surefire way to crush his kind of confidence and give up. Or sort of fabricate auditions you're going to so that he immediately leaves and calls his own agent and asks why he hasn't got the audition. I find that's a good one. But actors are awful aren't they? I mean, this is classic, I feel for this guy. Is our advice here crush this guy's dreams? Well it's now!
Starting point is 00:27:12 Kill his pets! You know, gotta kill your pets, so whatever you write, I'll always say. There's no known your pets, yeah, buy a pet and then kill it. Kill your front of him, yeah. Kill it. He bursts in the door, start singing about a cheese sandwich. Kill a bit of front of him. Yeah. Oh, is the other option here? You've got to lean into this because you know, you could end up in a flat share.
Starting point is 00:27:39 Look at our previous email. You could say you're going to the next house and someone's pissing in a bucket, smoking indoors and their dog shitting through the kitchen. I'm sure he's doing that as well. Oh, I'm right. There was a piece, you're sitting in the bucket.
Starting point is 00:27:54 Yeah, you're sitting in the bucket. That stuff's just not as long as she's sitting there. No, it's not. No. I think, you know, is there a case of leaning into it and embracing it and thinking, look, this isn't going to be for life, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, how sure situation. This will be one of your chapters in life's rich, you know, narrative.
Starting point is 00:28:16 And you know, you're going to end up with some boring housemates, you know, you're going to have, but for now, you've got, you know, you've got a show, a show in your house, you've got a... He's got the greatest show. You've'm gonna try and embrace it a little bit I think yeah give it London's right London's and costumes you know sort of lay some costumes out on his bed in the morning I'd be like what can just do a character work. Oh, yeah. What about treat your house like it's a big kind of... Like it is a big improv game, so that you know, if he's doing the tempest,
Starting point is 00:28:54 you get yourself a decent, prospero costume and you play against him, you know. You can riff it, it'll be good for both of you. It'll make him a better performer, you know, and it will give you something to do, it will give you something rather than just be sort of quietly stewing about it, throw yourself into it, go for it. Yeah, go for it and see what and you might find something, you know, you might find out your love it. And or film it, film him, just constantly film him and claim that you're making a documentary on him.
Starting point is 00:29:27 And follow him around with like a crew, maybe a full crew and sort of, you know, and just wear him down that way. I don't know, man. I think, I think, if an actor, especially on the first rung of the ladder, or just reaching up for the first rung of the ladder, if they found out a documentary crew was making a documentary about them, that might just pour petrol on the fire. That is vital. You know? Okay. I think I've got, it might be borrowing a bit of a solution from our previous problem.
Starting point is 00:30:03 No, I don't know. On the boat, in the evening, sit down and sit down on a bucket. And in detail, review his work from that day. Oh! And then post the reviews on a board in your house. So like, to cheese sandwich, sorry. It's like two out of five. Yeah, derivative. It lacked, you know, it lacked any kind of insight into what it means to make it seem sandwich.
Starting point is 00:30:30 The tune was derivative. You know, whatever it is. And, and, and, but do it properly. You know, when he's good, rewarding with the start. So, so, I'm feeling, yeah, exactly. It's not just going to be, you know, but I think once he realises he's being judged on everything he turns out. I mean, that's part of our problem. What once we realise the critics had stopped listening to our podcast, we just churn it out, you know? You've gotta know you've been held to a can. You know, we don't approach these like an Edinburgh show
Starting point is 00:31:01 because we don't know. Well, you know, Logan's not gonna be sticking it up in the guide. So, so, I feel like they'll kind of, they'll quality control a bit more and then you'll get quality over quantity. Yeah, and actually, maybe in a present, then you'd like sort of leave them, be like, oh, with another reviews come out
Starting point is 00:31:23 and you've kind of printed it out or do you leave them in my fridge? I think you wait till, I think you wait till sort of two, three in the morning, right? And then you bang on their door, like bang on their bedroom door. Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, and you just scream, late edition, late edition, it's out,
Starting point is 00:31:40 it's out. Get them out there and you print out a little sort of newspaper and you read it directly to them. Yeah. Oh, you open up, you look, it's out, it's out. Get him out of the room, you've print out a little sort of newspaper and you read it directly to them. Yeah, or you open up, you're looking at, go, don't worry about it, in fact, I'm not gonna show you tonight. I'm not gonna show you tonight. You're gonna go back to bed, go back to bed. You don't need this tonight.
Starting point is 00:31:54 You don't need this tonight. You just have a nice sleep. Yeah, exactly, you've got a big day of improvising about your prawn salad tomorrow. So you've got to, you've got to do that. Listen, it's not, and then there'll be desperate to see it. And yeah, I think you've got to be very, you've got to be very front foot,
Starting point is 00:32:11 where one of those hats with the little bits of paper in, like the reporters used to wear, like that kind of thing. You've got to go full method on it. I think that's how you do it. I'd have a note pad and pen at all times around the house. So as soon as it starts, just get the note pad and just watch and pause. And as soon as it starts, just get the night of the pen out and just watch and pause and kind of make noises like,
Starting point is 00:32:27 yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Perfect. Yeah. And you know what, when they do something great, give them a standing o. Because then they'll notice when they're not
Starting point is 00:32:39 getting the standing o. You know, so like, I only ever give them one. Yeah, absolutely. You give them a standing o for the cheese sandwich so like I only ever give them one. Yeah, absolutely. You give it, give the standing o for the cheese, the cheese sandwich song. And then that's it. Don't even look up. Don't even look up from your phone. And you just slowly phase out the standing pose and they get the sense that like there was a peak at some point for them. Totally. I don't buy the end like leave like 30 seconds into one of their chiefs and we saw him.
Starting point is 00:33:08 Oh, you know, I saw him a couple of weeks ago and he was amazing. And I can't believe it. I don't know what it was, you know, but he's just not making the art he wants. He wants to. I mean, he's good in the front room, but it just doesn't translate to the kitchen. Oh, honestly, front room, amazing, you've got to see them living room. Got to. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's it. You got to, because that, that's, this is a, this is the conflict that an actor understands. This is meeting them in their world and using their kind of tools against them. Yeah. And then maybe
Starting point is 00:33:44 just get in other friends to sometimes it's not you reviewing. Sometimes, you know, they'll come into the burst into your bedroom and you've got a mate to sort of sit on your bed. And even there, it is there in a hat and he's kind of with the nose and nose and nose. And in August, just get students to do it. Before we just go to do it, who's never seen anything before in their fucking lives, you just get them to do it. Yeah, I'd be like, I'm sorry, you're just not pulling in the big reviews, anyway.
Starting point is 00:34:17 Yeah, love it. Beef sold. Beef sold. Beef from the the sorting like a beef sold so this next beef is from Will via beef brothers podcast at gmail.com getting touch and it's a frozen beef shares prayers debuff My house mate Slash fiance no already out on already happy not happy that day already out, Tom, already happy, not happy with that, right? I like that. Okay, good, good, good, good.
Starting point is 00:34:46 My housemates slash fiance never labels top ware boxes of food that she puts in the freezer. Normally, I can work out of its, normally I can work out of its green soup for our toddler sourcing the general vicinity of Bolognese or bean chili, but knowing whether it's spicy is crucial information when feeding kids. Plus, I have no idea how old the food is.
Starting point is 00:35:07 Is it too much to ask that she label the boxes with a date and description? And he's putting here, he's got a section called, answers to possible questions. Here we go. Yes, I label it myself when I'm there when it goes in. We're a veggie household. Yes, we share the cooking. Yes, I would prefer the dates to be written in ISO standard year-month-day format. No, she doesn't remember either after a few months. I love the live show with the Innocontian Helen Bauer.
Starting point is 00:35:35 I laughed so hard. I inhaled my GNT and almost fixated. Proust, Alemail, Dwy, will. Okay. So I don't know. I slightly lost attractive. I mean, I'll say one thing, when you start with my housemates pissing buckets, it's quite hard to, it's quite hard to feel the simple, the poor world. That occasionally, he has to open up something and defrost it and he doesn't know if it's spicy or not. Let's try and feel bad from just imagining how much it's paying a month and we can get back on board. But yeah, so the problem the problem Will has is he has kids, his wife will often cook something and then she will put it in the freezer in a tupperware and he doesn't know if it's something that he should be defrosting for the kids to eat or he should eat himself and if obviously if he serves them
Starting point is 00:36:30 a five-alarm chili he's gonna do them a lot more damage than you know so that is that is our problem with Will. Okay and he doesn't know whether to say something to his wife about putting labels on it Well, I think he has because he says that she he's obviously asked her He says like she doesn't remember after a few months So he'll obviously say to her that you didn't label this you know what this is you know when it when you put it in It's gonna be a killer pet one Those kids have got hamsters. You know, it's on a really clear message.
Starting point is 00:37:11 Yeah, it's got to be an animal massacre, basically. Otherwise, obviously we know what you've got. What are we doing? In a tupperware, fully dated, in the freezer. So they can find out. It's what I mean. so they can find out. It's what I mean. The other way to go is to treat this as like a chance to ready steady cook your life.
Starting point is 00:37:33 Where if you see it as like a gay, like a kind of culinary game show that your wife is playing with you, it's like you get to the freezer and you pick three boxes and then you open them up and then it's like what can you make out of this? Yeah, oh that's mango smoothie. Oh, that's last week's corn. Oh A frozen tomato Tom, I'm gonna say if it's a frozen tomato the chances I recognize in that Tom, I'm going to say if it's a frozen tomato, the chances I recognize in that. And if he's not, then, you know, like his wife's got a point in being like, let's know he's not going to help. It's labelled just that, yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:15 The frozen tomato is just so they can vote at the end. Okay, all that's a frozen pet list. But that is a good plan, Perry. That is a good plan. So you basically also, well, you know, why not just because the good thing about kids dinner time, right, as far as I can tell from doing my own kids dinner time is it's also like a little dinner time for you, right? You get to eat a lot of food, you know, going to, even if you make a tiny amount of food, the kids are always going
Starting point is 00:38:48 to leave a bit of it. So some of that, you eat that, that's what happens. So why not just make it a, why not just like, like Paris says, two or three things, defrost a bunch of them. It's a win-win, isn't it? If it's not spicy, the kid gets it. If it is spicy, you have that. Have a little secret pre-dinner. It's great. Yeah. Or is there, if you cover anything in enough mayonnaise, is it not spicy anymore?
Starting point is 00:39:19 Absolutely. That's interesting. Or just a noke. Yeah, just have coconut milk and all of that kind of, just have a variety of Greek yoghurt, creme fresh. All that food is going to be very creamy, but crucially, creamy is fine for kids. Spice is a problem. So that's it. Yeah, just open it up.
Starting point is 00:39:40 If it tastes a little bit spicy, just whacking on her nose. I don't know. Hermus. Why don't you bung it all in a blender and have a smoothie for fucking once in your life? LAUGHTER Do you have a name?
Starting point is 00:39:56 Have a little, all right? Of course I know what you mean. LAUGHTER No, I'm saying. Don't eat it up. Don't eat it up. If it's raw chicken, get it in the smoothie. Yeah, I mean, get those kids some protein, they'll be hensh.
Starting point is 00:40:10 LAUGHTER It's hanging back protein smoothie. It's effectively like hul. Do you want hensh kids or not? You want hensh kids exactly? Kul them up mate. Because you know, the good thing about having a hench kid is you can send them out to kill someone else who's pets for you.
Starting point is 00:40:29 Yeah. That's the good thing, you know, you know, it takes some of the pressure off of you. If you've got a big strong boy, you know, they can lay their cats neck easily. It's, it's, I mean, will come on, mate. It's not you're not even trying here. Yeah, a big strong boy that has a high tolerance to spice,
Starting point is 00:40:48 which is pretty cool. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Do you not want henchies as hard kids? He's a spicy henchie boy. You want a spicy henchie kid? You want a spicy henchie boy or not? You don't mean. So it's like your wife wants a spicy henchie boy or not? Do you want me? So it's like your wife wants a spicy henchie boy. Or do you want to be a slave to the label?
Starting point is 00:41:09 Have we moved on from labels now? Yeah. I wish when you'd asked me what kind of house mate I was, I'd said a big spicy henchie boy. Exactly. But the good thing is after this podcast, you know what kind of house mate you want to be.
Starting point is 00:41:26 Yeah, that's the challenge for me. It's quite easy. When you're inevitably on myspaerroom.com again in about three weeks time. Yeah. You just want to talk to Tom Sturton, spicy henchie boy, flash film star, full stop. Does not like pets your pets will die. Well beef solved. So Tom yes do you have a beef with your current flatmates that you'd like us in some way to solve and the question before I ask what it is is did they have pets because otherwise we Man, I feel so bad. No, I really don't I could there's an on resolve be kind of with My old house mate. I guess let's do that. Yeah, let's let's go for that. So
Starting point is 00:42:27 you're not because this is you're in the honeymoon period with your two new housemates. Yeah, let's not. Yeah, you know, apart from the beef that they clearly don't like you. Sorry, yeah, sorry, that's it. My beef is I'm not invited to it to it to as many gatherings with my new housemate as I like to. I mean, that's literally basically, is it that maybe they've just seen the title of your film and thought, well, that's true. You know, he writes what he knows,
Starting point is 00:42:54 let's not ruin it for him, or it's frentating, we'll just join the gang. Yeah, no, it's just, I think that's just, that's, that's, that's just to be more likable, I guess. So we'll do, I guess, yeah, the old, the old, the old beef I had was with. My, yeah, I live with a really good mate. I'm sure you weren't lonely, sort of sagging him off. He, he would, he was one of those guys.
Starting point is 00:43:22 I'm sure you know the guy, the type of guy I'm talking about. We'd sit down to watch, we'd choose a film to watch and he'd immediately be like, what's this about? Oh, and I'd be like, well I don't know yet, I think it's loosely about this, we did just kind of read the snops and so on and then, you know, and then it's like a character come on and you'd be like, and who's that? I think it's you. And then at the end of the film, you'd be like, you know, I did not. I'd non-stand out at all. And I'd be like, well, yeah, I wouldn't need it today because I couldn't, because you could talk the whole way through.
Starting point is 00:43:59 So it's people, it's people, I mean, it's the kind of cliché one, but yeah, it's people that are bad at watching films basically my my old man has and it was a shit person to watch films with. It's I think it's my least favorite genre of person. Yeah, it's it's a lot of strain on the relationship. But is that is that that's not I mean it's hard that's hardly shitting in a But there's no way you're gonna Like a really set a such a sort of
Starting point is 00:44:31 I threshold it um, but yeah, so so beef him up Beef was beef Georgia. That's his name. Oh, yes, we got the name and what was he pets? Here's what you could do you could sit down and watch seven with him and You could be going all the way through seven. He's chatting away. He's chatting away and then the box arrives And he'll be like what what's that box about and you go? Here's your fucking box mate and you're handing a box shoe box and it's got his fucking cat's head in it And you're like, oh, that's in the box. That's what's in the fucking box. You just have cat's head about you shut up
Starting point is 00:45:12 when I'm watching films and then he goes quite for a few years. All right, to be fair, in seven, you know, they've got the guy with all the air fresheners in the room. That could be the soul for the piss buckets. That's a good point. Yeah. Seven is it. I mean, seven is actually that. It does sound like Ross's flat was directed by David Fincher, isn't it? If you've trapped in a David Fincher movie, you'd want, which one would you want to be trapped in really? The game? Because at least you know at the end you're going to get to meet Sean Penn.
Starting point is 00:45:50 It's just like the prize. It's the other game. I can't quite remember that. My friend had a, it was telling me he had a flatmate that was living and the guy kept doing press ups during, but he didn't know, you know, he was just renting the room and he's flat and he found it really annoying that he kept doing press ups in front of the TV. But that's not my experience. And I often do press ups in front of the TV. How low was the TV that it was causing the problem? I'd say moving-section from the TV. How low was the TV then? It was causing the problem. It would not be able to. I'd say moving to the TV.
Starting point is 00:46:27 I was holding. Moving to TV slightly higher than the wall, mate. You also know how to say it, mate. You're telling. For X put the TV on his back. Like a medicine ball. I'm really got the crunches going. Yes.
Starting point is 00:46:42 But what was the most film that your housemate George just failed to understand? Are we talking about these complex sort of like Christopher Nolan style movies? Or are we talking like just ordinary run of the mill kind of stuff like a Michael Bay film or something that he can't find out? It might be, it might be. Yeah, he put on heat, he kept putting on heat and then, and then, I think we watched the beginning of heat three times. And he kept asking, who's that guy and who's that guy? They're two of the most famous actors in the world. But we're also like, this is a brilliant film, but then not understand what it is.
Starting point is 00:47:21 They don't look very hot. They're not very hot. Yeah, it's not very hot. Yeah, Tom, we've got to watch this. It's a brilliant film and then and then ask me about it. I've heard it. Explain it to me please. Oh, I feel bad now. He's a lovely, he's a really good friend. I'm not going to say it's so I'm not going to say it's so I'm not going to say it's so I'm not going to say it's so I'm not going to say it's so I'm not going to say it's so I'm not going to say it's so I'm not going to say it's so I'm not going to say it's so I'm not going to say it's so I'm George C. George C. George C. Oh, I know. Oh, we've got, we've got, we do cinema club with George C.
Starting point is 00:48:07 He's great. So he's, he's got a real, he's got a real insight into, into movies. I actually, I watched your movie with George C and I'm not going to lie to you. I didn't have to sound a word of it. Couldn't, didn't tell what was going on. Very confusing. You might want to just before it goes on a proper release. Maybe back to the edit and explain who the characters are. A little caption may be. A little caption for who each person is. Is there a way you could give George
Starting point is 00:48:33 you see headphones and get the director's commentary on the hip? If you could, you know, like, you know, like, um, silent, sorry, Silent Disco type thing. Yeah. Where it's like, he gets to have directors commentary on and you get to just watch the film. I think he just asked his questions louder over. Who's that talking? It's cured by stammer. Oh, it's cured by stammer.
Starting point is 00:49:12 Tricky, Tricky, because obviously the obvious answer is not to ever watch films again with Jordice, but he does sound like a delightful fellow as well. Yeah, he's lovely. And he's one of the executive producers on the film I made. Oh, it's a boy. Who it is, that carway. I can literally go back to the the... I think I'm yet to... I've only watched that with him in a cinema and he's got a bit of respect. He's got a bit of a... So maybe that sounds like just taking him... taking that to the cinema. I will say that is it, because I think people, a very similar thing happens to me, sometimes we'll watch something with certain people,
Starting point is 00:49:53 and they don't knuckle down to the film for the first 10, 15 minutes, take someone while to get, and they're checking their phones and talking and stuff. And then they're like, oh, what's this? And it's like, well, that was explained in the start. Like the opening, 10 minutes of every film, very important.
Starting point is 00:50:14 You have to watch it, you have to tune in. And you don't want to be this sort of, like, you don't want to, you know, crack the whip and be be like get off your phone in the to someone that's just feels very, that feels like a very hostile. Yeah, you're a good guy. So that's it, if I think cinema people, people automatically have that reverence. Yeah, so that's it. Are you, can you guys, do you have the guts to turn around and
Starting point is 00:50:43 and shush people in cinemas? Have you got that kind of? Have you got that in me? I think much like I think I think you've hit a good thing there Which is like they say about breakups don't they say if you're gonna do a horrible messy breakup do it in a public place because then it can't You know the scene can't get out of control So like yeah, if all of your films are in a public space then that will keep this man George cave Oh, George, I love you, man. I'm sorry. I think that's be so.
Starting point is 00:51:26 Thank you for exactly producing my film. Just watch it with me. Tom, thank you so much for coming on the podcast. Firstly, have we even said the name of your film? We've talked about a film. Yeah, I know. And we referenced all my friends, Yeah, my housemates hating me But no, yeah the title of the film is all my friends hate me and it's really genuinely it's really fantastic
Starting point is 00:51:54 Yeah, I absolutely love that it's an amazing achievement It's it's brilliant because it's um it's so like it's so put it like It's it's kind of it's kind of a horror movie isn't it? It's sort of like, you know, it's like the, it's gone. We've had to be really careful about it. Like horror fans can be very, can get very angry. So it's important to like, it's not, it's a boroughs on horror tropes, certainly. And kind of, yeah, so it's like cross genre, I mean, that's sort of a very potential phrase, but it's, there's elements of horror in it, basically, but don't be, don't expect blood and guts. It's a bit like, do you know, in the 80s, the genre of like, Yuppie Horror cropped up,
Starting point is 00:52:46 which wasn't actually like, it wasn't guts and gore, but it was often about like, losing all your money, losing everything. And this is the same sort of thing because it plays in the idea of kind of losing, sort of not even social standing, but just losing friendship or losing connection to people. Yeah. So it's kind of like a millennial version of the
Starting point is 00:53:05 Yapi horror. Right, and sort of how something can feel, you know, in certain social situations, it's sort of like a horror film going on in your own head if it's going, you know, if you're like not, if there's a guy pissing in a bucket upstairs. That does actually just sound like a straight up horror film, as we were saying. No, it's like how when you can get trapped in your own head, it sort of stakes reach that of a horror film, sort of what the hook is. Well I loved it. It was absolutely brilliant. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:53:41 And Tom, did you enjoy the first half before you're laptop broke or? Look, you know I'm a big fan of George UK, wherever he's produced. Oh, definitely. He's one of the cavemen. He's a big, you know, like, you know, they go to all the George UK movies. He's a man with a caveman. He camps out overnight, of course. So, yeah, I'm very much looking forward to seeing it.
Starting point is 00:54:06 But like I said, I've heard only good things. And yeah, it's very exciting. Where can people see it Tom? So it's on cinematic release? Yes, you can island 40 screens. I don't, I won't list each one specifically, but yeah, it's out in the cinemas for the next hopefully, you know, at least a week or so. And yeah, but I'd please, please go on a sandwich and just check it out.
Starting point is 00:54:34 I think you turned that around at the end of the sentence, you really did. Very breezy. Very breezy. I was pretty, previously discussed as well, going to the cinema. If you've got an annoying friend, take him to the cinema to see it because then they'll shut up. They won't ask you annoying questions all the way through it. Shut up for 90 minutes.
Starting point is 00:54:52 It's great. Tom, thanks so much for coming on the pod. Cheers, man. You're welcome. Thank you, Sean. Thanks so much for having me. From the starting, I can be welcome. Well, well, well, well, what an app. It had everything.
Starting point is 00:55:06 What a strong app. Yeah, I mean, there is an argument that once you've heard about people pissing in buckets, everything else seems a little mild. But, you know what, we will still accept your beef. Even if your beef's not as strong as Ross's beef, which was, I would say, one of the spicier beefs we've had. It was, but you know, sometimes it's not just about the big problems.
Starting point is 00:55:28 Sometimes it's about the small ones. Yeah. It's about the, is this food spicy or not? Exactly. You know, it's, no beef is not juicy enough for us. That's true. No, yeah, absolutely. We can always find enough mayonnaise for any beef.
Starting point is 00:55:48 Yes. That's what we're saying. There's always enough mayonnaise sauce in the jar. That's fair. Just bear in your beef. We love a juicy tea bone. We also love some built on. Oh, I, you know what?
Starting point is 00:56:03 Do you know what? I haven't eaten built on for a while. The old beef jerky type thing, but I do miss it. I do miss the built on. It's good stuff. It's one of those things that like so gross. Yeah, it's so lovely. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:56:19 It's basically beef chewing gum. It should work, but it does. Just to be biting into something and a slow, steady flow of beef juice, going down the back of your throat. Oh my God, what a pleasure. Do you know that when you open a packet of Bill Tongue, there's like the little sachet of silica gel.
Starting point is 00:56:43 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep it dry. Yeah. My mate was eating some with a friend and he opened the packet and sprinkled it on. It says, do you know what he was on the packet? He was like, how long have you been doing that for? He's like, at four ages.
Starting point is 00:56:58 So you get the salt sprinkled on. He's like, no, no, no mate. It's not that salt and shake. You're not dipping it in there and shaking the bag, Rosy. So please eat your meal tongue responsibly.. It's not that sort of shape. You're not dipping it in there and shaking the bag, Rosie. So please, eat your built on responsibly. Yeah, do not eat silica gel. Silica gel. Same goes when you open your new trainers.
Starting point is 00:57:12 Keep do not sprinkle it on. Absolutely. It's say, out of all the prods, it couldn't be more clear. It's a little white packet that says, do not eat on it. You come on, guys. What would happen if you did eat it? It would just dry out your insides a bit, would it? Just dehydrate your nose, wouldn't it?
Starting point is 00:57:28 Yeah. That's fine. Let's find out if that's what we didn't want to say. That's the reason Tom's not on this intro. After we recorded the episode, before we recorded this intro out of tray, Tom ate a jar of silica gel. So it's a two-man operation from now on.
Starting point is 00:57:47 Sorry guys. He's up in, big man's up top. He's in heaven now. So, yeah, so don't forget the Patreon guys. And also as well, I'm gonna do another shout out because what tends to happen is, before we record a beef brothers, I do a shout out on Twitter and that's how we get our beefs.
Starting point is 00:58:04 But I would love it. If you are listening to this and you think, actually, I do a shout out on Twitter and that's how we get our beefs. But I would love it. If you are listening to this and you think, actually, I've got a problem with my flat mate, I've got a problem with my house mates, my neighbors, you know, any of that, it doesn't have to be as severe as a piss bucket. It can just be that like, you know, they're not putting the cap back on the ketchup. That's also fine. We'll take it.
Starting point is 00:58:26 Send us your beef, beefbrotherspodcastatgmail.com. Get in touch today. We'd love to hear from you. Join the Patreon.com, forward slash, Papi's Flat Share. But most of all guys,
Starting point is 00:58:37 have a wonderful time. Yeah. Wow, I was not expecting that to be the other set. No, you know what? I think what I should have said is most of all guys don't eat silica gel, but I said have a wonderful time. I said have a wonderful time. I thought that was too negative of,
Starting point is 00:58:50 I think, you know, ending on a negative wasn't how I wanted to do it. So I said have a wonderful time, which was anything, it was just pretty, pretty thin grill, wasn't it? Most of all guys have a wonderful time. I'm not eating silica gel. I've been Michael Ball, This is ready at two good night
Starting point is 00:59:06 Yeah Well have a wonderful time everyone have a wonderful time Clarkie. I didn't have I haven't said before You've got ever wonderful time you've got Clarkie you're off to Glastonbury. So do have a wonderful time. Oh, thank you so much. I Can I wait it's gonna be great? You can't wait, listen, by the way. I'm gonna have a wonderful time. Let, listen, that little packet, by the way, it's not what you're thinking is.
Starting point is 00:59:31 Don't snort silica gel man. Don't do this. Oh, no way. Listen. All right, just, no matter what. No matter how much you're thinking, you know, this is gonna take poor McGartney's set onto the next level. Do not, you will be punched.
Starting point is 00:59:44 Don't, I'll come out and glance at me and look at like a raisin. What, it's gonna be a sunny weekend, so, you hope so. Anyway, lots of love everybody. So this episode was produced by Emma Corsham. Corsham team. Cheers everyone. Bye!
Starting point is 01:00:02 All right, two for a pair, free for a pan step with sway step this way it's time for the patreon neighborhood watch roll call L. Madden step this way oh By you this and then you'll have to buy it from me because that's how it And then you all have to buy it from me because that's how it works If you've been a better sister you can do it down. I asked the way he works ready Carb it down don't ever Barley But this myself off to leave the car. Oh Yeah, it's a good it's a good system. We got it's a good system Yeah, it's a good it's a good system. We got it. It's a good system. It's a great to do. It's honest and true. I'll buy a thing. Someone else buys it back off for me. It's not
Starting point is 01:00:50 a bad system. Right. The thing about this though is the thing I've bought it really, I tell you what, it's really got me into a bit of a situation that I describe as pretty sticky. But luckily I've got something that's going to bail me out and it's of course my dear friend, Nicky, brackets H. Oh yeah, yeah, of course. You won't believe this lad, so the other day I'll buy him something and sell him something and then buy it back and selling it back. Yeah. Well, that's just looking at me.
Starting point is 01:01:27 And he was just like, hey, doing this, must be some sort of fluke. Said, oh, you're fucking bike Luke on your bike. Oh, all right. Luke, step this way, step this way and stand over there. That's right. Over in the corner. I'll take over and let me tell you something. I am a big tailor.
Starting point is 01:01:50 I'm going to get you. He's going for it. He's going to get you. He's going to get all the rhymes with itself. Yeah. That's right. That's right, because I can make you a suit. The old flute, it's for Eleanor Taylor.
Starting point is 01:02:10 He made the words and then not rhyme it with itself. It's the sister we use. It's the sister. You bought the rhyme for someone else, then you bought it back off yourself. We've got several things. We won't be told. We won't be told. We won't be told. And of course, if the if the coppers ever try and catch us,
Starting point is 01:02:31 they're going to burst into the warehouse. And all they're going to see is a boiler room full of phones. And possibly the night watchman Ian Jones. Of course, of course. Yeah, of course. There we were in the market place, doing our thing, and my mate says to me, you know, all these phones you've got,
Starting point is 01:02:51 so I could have made you in fertile. Oh, shit. You've got to be fucking kidding me, Gary, LR-Thirtle. It's a good question, Gary, LR-Thirtle. He's an amazing, I'm actually having fire in blanks for years. You never put us in stock, as you were in the phones, you started, I'm going to be firing blanks for you. You never put a stop-knife through the phones, you know. Just stop shagging phones, you know.
Starting point is 01:03:09 You should be very just opposed, but then that's our system and we stick to it, that's it. I bought that phone off my knob and I sold it back to my knob. Nick's figure will be telling me that I can't shick, I keep singing, roll out the barrel. Well, that's one theory in life. I'll say it's... ...some of my friend Paul Carroll. Well, it's only one theory in life.
Starting point is 01:03:35 And it's from Paul Carroll. Well, that concludes today's Patreon Able Watch Raw. I'm bacon! Rosas! Ah! Scopper! Well, that concludes today's Patreon Able Watch Raw. I'm PAKED!
Starting point is 01:03:46 Rossus! Aaaaah! Scopper!

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