Pappy's Flatshare - Bonus fun: Pappy's Bangers and Mash

Episode Date: September 22, 2016

Hello Flaslammers!! You may or may not know that, as well as your beloved Flatslam, we also have a podcast called Bangers And Mash. The way it works is that we have a chat, listen back to that chat an...d then write little sketchy interruptions to drop back into the chat like bangers into mash. If you aren't already a listener we thought we'd give you a chance to size up our extra podular activities by sneaking a classic PBaM onto your Flatslam feed. If you like it you can find all the previous episodes at British Comedy Guide. Don't fret, your regular Flatslam will still be dropping on the 1st of the month. Pappy's Bangers And Mash: Series 2, Episode 8 - Pick Up Thy Zorb and Roll Wills & Kate! It's PBam 2.8. Sound the fanfare as the bronze, silver and gold medalists of podcasting hop aboard the podium of sound and sing their national anthems of chat and laugh down your ear canal at world record pace. In a race towards your heart and mind, they cover such events as zorbs, balloons and robots. On your marks - get set - BAM!! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman plotting her course to free them at in that book. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things. It's like theaters for December 15th.
Starting point is 00:00:17 Tom Ben! What is it, Matthew? Yeah, what's up, Matthew? Well, you know, we do this fantastic flat-shear slam-down podcast. What, what, what? You what's that Matthew? Well you know we do this fantastic flat share slam down podcast. What what what? You not heard about this. Oh you'd love it it is right in your house. Have you been podcasting this all along?
Starting point is 00:00:32 Yeah, did you not realize? Every time I've been describing it it turns into a I flash a slam down. I've been putting them out as little podcasts. This is a breach of privacy and I love it. Can I just tell you now I am coining it in. Oh my God. Oh my good. I'm very very rich. So no
Starting point is 00:00:47 You have to pay rent this month. This is all you're gonna do instead instead. I'm gonna give you a special treat of our other Podcasts We do a different podcast called a Pappy's bangers and mash Banger's a mash chat. I'm afraid so yeah, I've been podcasting them as well, but not as many people know about Oh, I'd like to listen to that. I tell you what we've popped it on this feed the flat-chested land-down feed a bonus episode of Papi's Bangers & Mash. Oh my god, and if you like this you can cross the streams and go to the other side. Absolutely, it's a ghostbusters reference. I want to full do that on the other podcast. Who knows? I think we just did. So if you haven't heard Papi's Bangers & Mash here's an old episode that we think you might enjoy.
Starting point is 00:01:25 Oh my word. What a real treat. Just subscribe, you guys. Just subscribe, guys. Happy's bangers and mash, welcome to bangers and mash The chat is the mash, shut the sketches on the bag The sketches are on codes, then the chat is the hangers The chat is the shanties and mans, then the sketches are on bikers Welcome to bangers and mash Greetings, listener dear, we're back on this day
Starting point is 00:01:58 A whole day is the day you're listening to the podcast I thought it was a particularly exciting day and it is It's just what the kind of day that you're going to start listening to the podcast. I thought it was a particularly exciting day and it is. It's felt like the kind of day that you're going to start listening to this podcast and it is. You've proved us right. It's today. The prophecy is fulfilled and on this day one shall press play. And there you can now may be filled with voices from Tom.
Starting point is 00:02:23 Matthew. Hello. And Ben. Hello hello that's right and producer Pex is here click click click click it away there is we are here too yes deliver as it was foretold to you on this day what's happened to you today that's maybe you want to press play and listen to this yes we'll never know we'll never know the secrets of your mind, but you'll know almost too much about ours. Yes, we're going to unload into your earcap. Oh!
Starting point is 00:02:51 Oh! What is one of the true joys of our lives? No, it is. The genuine is the best part of our job. It's giving you a little bit of chat for the next 40 or 50 Min Mins. Oh! It's a cork of today, correct? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:10 Without a doubt, the silliest one we've done in ages. And a lot of fun. Certainly my cup of tea. You like it. I'm not even that much of a fan of tea. What do you prefer tea or peabam? You'll never know. Oh!
Starting point is 00:03:23 We're not going to do a Twitter poll. So let's not beat around the bush of tea leaves. Let's not beat around that tea bush. Let's get right in to bangers and mash as we know. Clarkie break it down for us. Oh yeah so we do some chat. That's the mash. That's the mash and then we drop in some little extra bits, some little bonus bits, and that is the banners. Exactly right. You have a good time, we have a good time, but most of all your ear canal is decorated with joy. LAUGHTER All right.
Starting point is 00:04:01 Yeah, that seems fair enough, yeah. I'm proud of you. Well, let's get into it then. Whip crack away, we started off by talking about Hot Air balloons. Wow. Hi Air balloons, right? Yes.
Starting point is 00:04:17 You'd really kick it. How'd you feel it made you stand? I've just done them, Hi Air balloons. What, what in the box get bit? I was a bit. Well that's what I've been doing. That's what you've been doing. One of you've got such a gorgeous color to you.
Starting point is 00:04:27 You've been trying to sleep. You've been trying to sleep. You've been trying to sleep. You've been trying to sleep. You've been trying to sleep. You've been trying to sleep. You've been trying to sleep. You've been trying to sleep.
Starting point is 00:04:35 You've been trying to sleep. You've been trying to sleep. You've been trying to sleep. You've been trying to sleep. You've been trying to sleep. You've been trying to sleep. You've been trying to sleep. You've been trying to sleep.
Starting point is 00:04:43 You've been trying to sleep. You've been trying to sleep. You've been trying to sleep. You've been trying to sleep. You've been trying to sleep. You've been trying to sleep. No, yeah, he's a bond, no, but Jackie Chan has He did it as an actual stunt jumped off a cliff onto the top of the hot air balloon. Are you sure bond hasn't? I think he did he do one where it's on he was like on a You know one of the bigger ones the ships like a blimp. Yeah, I think there is yeah, there is there's blimp. He's blimped There is, yeah, there is, there's blim, he's blimped. He's blimped, yeah, he's blimped, blimped, blimped. Clarke, you're off the hook for this episode apparently. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm gonna say blimped is right.
Starting point is 00:05:14 Oh, nice to hear you out. Yeah. You should have committed to it. Yeah. In fact, James Bond has never been on top of a hot air balloon. Cue's hot air balloon appears in octopacy, and Bond hangs off the bottom of a hot air balloon. Hugh's hot air balloon appears in octopacy. And Bond hangs off the bottom of a hot air balloon in the world is not enough. B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B buy someone and go like, oh I'm in a hot-ebbling. It's in like a red letter date. Yeah, yeah, lovely thing.
Starting point is 00:05:46 But here's my thing, if you die in a hot-ebbling, a treaty ride is not what they call it. A treaty ride? A treaty ride. It was a high-ebbling. A treaty ride. It was a lovely treaty ride. There's a nice phrase, isn't it for you? I've got my wife a treaty ride on a horse.
Starting point is 00:06:00 Thank God. I'm so excited. You've got a treaty ride on a horse. Yeah, she's not used to. I've just realised. Well, I have to go off to go there. It's got to be soon. There you go. Are you going to be soon? I bet 90%. Well, I'd say 70% of red leather days just the never. They sit in a drawer. They don't get used. I'm going to say 30. Let's call red leather days and find out. Okay. Let's bet 50 pounds on it.
Starting point is 00:06:26 Wow. Let's bet a red letter day on it. That's great bet. That's a great bet. That's a great bet. Okay, so what are you saying? 70, I say 30. 70, 30.
Starting point is 00:06:34 Closest wins. Well, so I'm going on it, whether or not. Yeah, you're the plus one. You're the plus one. Oh, I love it. I've absolutely liked it out. You know what I've done? I've bloomed, my bloomed. You've bloomed, my bloomed. Absolutely, my bloomed. You're on a treaty ride. I've had a real treaty you're the plus one. Oh, I love it. I've absolutely liked it. You know what I've done, I've blimped my blimp.
Starting point is 00:06:45 You've blimped my blimped, you've blimped my blimped. You have a treaty ride. I've had a real treaty ride in the blimp, I've blimped it. Have you ever been on the red day? No, no one has. That's just don't go. So let's just get this right again. You reckon 70% go on claims.
Starting point is 00:06:58 I reckon, no, no, no, I'm 70% of you think. I reckon 70%. I reckon 70% you're 30%. Yeah. It's a bit like, yeah yeah it's tricky isn't it? Because like basically most gifts go unused I'm feeling very confident about my red letter day Yeah
Starting point is 00:07:15 I'm already deciding what it's going to be Okay well well, do you want to try to chat about hot air balloons first? Okay When you're talking about a zor ball later I'm going to talk about it! What is a ball? I mean, could you film the film the soap with hot air and do a dubble? No, what's all about the edge of a cliff? You know what did it happen the helium's all your voice could be so was your day It was a treaty ride. I was inside the helium's
Starting point is 00:07:42 So I blimped my soul I blimped my soap And so I bliped my sword, I bliped my sword. Chan probably could. Chan could fill up his sword for the hell you could. Ain't nothing Chan can't do. Pop from PA's tax, did he play his tax? Oh I'm sure he did. Oh no, Chan's the one for Clark go. Yeah. Chan's your absolute eye on his area.
Starting point is 00:08:00 Chan will Clark. Clark will defend Chan. You're right. Clark will defend Chan more than Stink. Oh, right. Yeah, this is a good one, okay? It, right. There's a train coming down the track. There's a hot air balloon.
Starting point is 00:08:16 There's a hot air balloon to land. About to land. Sting or Chan? Exactly. You could even wear a scenario. You could either turn on a fan and it blows it and it collapses on Stink. I tell you who do something like that. Or you could not turn on a fan. Hang on a sec, we want to wipe this up. Sorry, go on. Not turn on a fan and it blows it and it collapses on Sting. I'd say who do something like that?
Starting point is 00:08:25 Or you could not turn on a fan, hang on a sec, we want to wipe this out for a second. Sorry, go on, not turn on a fan and it lands on Chan, okay? Yeah, I would say that Chan turns beyond more than Sting. I'd say Chan. He answered that in a very cryptic way. Yeah, it took us both a long time to clock what you were on about. You know, he's playing the villain who's doing this. Christophe, Vite, Voltz, Fulst.
Starting point is 00:08:47 Christoph, he's the kind of guy who would do the same. You're the thai have see. Oh, you like him. He's one of your singers, I believe. What am I saying? But who is this? Chan, your friend. He's doing Chan in Chan's voice.
Starting point is 00:09:02 That's the worrying thing. That's what you can do. He's very versatile as an actor. He's very versatile. What's your like my good self? You are quite a versatile actor right? You can do it. Less you per say so. You can do a bold guy shouting. Yes. A bold guy shouting and sweating. I'm in my zone man! Very sweaty in my zone. I'm in my zone man. Oh I would watch that sitcom. That's a hell of a character for a min-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom-moom Have you got food and water in the zorb? I think he's the big question. I think he's the big question. I think he's the big question. I think he's the big question. I think he's the big question.
Starting point is 00:09:47 I think he's the big question. I think he's the big question. I think he's the big question. I think he's the big question. I think he's the big question. I think he's the big question. I think he's the big question. I'm not sure you're allowed to do this on your red letter.
Starting point is 00:09:55 I think he's the big question. I'm not sure you're allowed to do this on your red letter. Because how long can you survive with that food and water? I think he's the big question. I think he's the big question. I think he's the big question. I think he's the big question. I think he's the big question.
Starting point is 00:10:03 I think he's the big question. I think he's the big question. I think he's the big question. I think he's the big question. I think he's the big question. I think he's the big question. I think he's the big question. I think he's the big question. I think he's the big question. I think he's the big question. I think he's the big question. I think he's the big question. I think he's the big question. I think he's the big question. I'm not sure you're allowed to do this on your red letter. I think he's the big question. I think he's the big question. I think he's the big question. I think he's the toilet. If I'm on a Zorb Company, I'll be using the Zorb joke every day. Oh, I know. You've gloted so much for that it will absorb it. I've got nothing for it. Correct. Now, the question is, where are you going to go to the toilet inside the Zorb? Oh, if I would absorb that.
Starting point is 00:10:16 Well, absorb that, mate. I will absorb anything for love. What do you do? I think you do have... Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! That one, that one we should take a little moment on. I know, but I've got it away. I just asked Tom, go away from the door and absorb anything for love to sort of three different tunes. Yeah, that'll do, didn't it?
Starting point is 00:10:39 It's settled down eventually when you worked out what you wanted to do. What about there? I think you got away. I don't think we can dispute that one. It looked like it was going to have trouble and then it got through. We've got fumbled by the field as over the road. Do you mind I'll take it?
Starting point is 00:10:53 It's squeezed through a very bad door. That's all we thought it's not going to get through these. Not going to get down this alleyway. Or slides perfectly down. I reckon if you give me, if there's a place I can poop out of and there's a place food There is good rattle If there's all buzzer mouth in an art if you will then I reckon two months Fact the record for longest is all bride is held by Steve Camp who traveled
Starting point is 00:11:25 Longest Zorb ride is held by Steve Camp who traveled 570 meters. The record for fastest Zorb ride is held by Keith Colver who reached a speed of 52 kilometers per hour. There is no current record held by Guinness for the longest time spent in a Zorb. We'll sort of put this on TV. Er, man, spend two months in Zorb. My, my so-called Zorb life. Something like that. The boy in the bubble.
Starting point is 00:11:47 The boy in the bubble. The boy in the bubble. The legend, the sphere. The ledger sphere. The ledger sphere. Well, they call it a ledger sphere. They call it a ledger sphere. No one knows why.
Starting point is 00:11:56 Things I could still do. Travel. Dance. Most of you, two exercise. As long as I can still dance, I'm happy. That's, that's always been Tom Harris' motto. I long as I can still dance, I'm happy. That's always been Tom Harris' motto. I'll be with A. Human Contact, but I'll be with a company.
Starting point is 00:12:09 What about the Ronald Wall Hang rounder with Legisphere? Because you let other people into the Zorb. Oh, that's an interesting idea, isn't it? A console, no, thank you. Could you have a conjugal visit inside your Zorb? Yes, please. I've got someone's done that. Someone must have banged in a zoo, right?
Starting point is 00:12:28 Listen to dear, if you've banged in a zoo, tweet us a thing. You win. Red lettered. Do you think so? I bet one of those bloody, I just don't know, has done it. Bloody two New Zealand instructors. Oh, two horny New Zealanders with a-
Starting point is 00:12:44 I bet Sting has done it. Sting has had tantric sex. Sting has had tantric sex. Sting has had tantric sex. Sting has had tantric sex. Sting has had tantric sex. Sting has had tantric sex. Sting has had tantric sex. Sting has had tantric sex. Sting has had tantric sex.
Starting point is 00:12:52 Sting has had tantric sex. Sting has had tantric sex. Sting has had tantric sex. Sting has had tantric sex. Sting has had tantric sex. Sting has had tantric sex. Sting has had tantric sex. Sting has had tantric sex.
Starting point is 00:13:00 Sting has had tantric sex. Sting has had tantric sex. Sting has had tantric sex. Sting has had tantric sex. Sting has had tantric sex. Sting has had tantric sex. Sting has had tantric sex. Sting has had tantric sex. Sting has had tantric sex. Sting has had tantric sex.. Yeah, he's about to. I try and save him for Clark. He's been fit. Of course. It'd be the turn of the you know 2016's been bad enough as it is but Oh, yeah, I can't lose anything. In trying to save Chan and Sting I get caught and trapped in a zool by Christoph Alts. This is an amazing movie. But here's the twist he sends in
Starting point is 00:13:28 You know What The pictures slightly fall apart It's like Jennifer Lawrence or someone like that well you've got it you've got to have Jennifer Lawrence in it That's that's that's how she comes into the zool but we have this kind of will they won't they relationship? That's the middle And she comes into the zorb and we have this kind of will they won't they relationship. That's the middle third. So you're basically the, basically your dream is you want to have sex with Jennifer Lawrence in a zorb.
Starting point is 00:13:51 Well I think that's everyone's dream. Give and take the zorb. The zorb's not, the zorb's not a deal breaker. For me, for Lawrence it is. Yeah, in particular about that. Very, very exacting standards hasn't she? Yeah. I think they're both the Zorb and you are the two deal breakers. We've digressed brilliantly away from
Starting point is 00:14:11 that. Oh that's good to know. Thankfully. The reviews are in guys. We've digressed. I'm a real return to form on my way to the front. Guys can I just tell you one thing if you're listening to this at the moment you're currently loving it. It's important because there may be a motor. I can see a lot of people with their finger hovering over the button thinking, should I just delete this download? No mate, you are having a crack in time. You're having a red letter day. You're having an app to this thing.
Starting point is 00:14:36 You're giving your ear canal a red letter day. This podcast is a red letter day for your ears. Fact, you are loving this podcast. Anyway, here's my question to get back to where we began. Yes. You're in a hot air balloon. Hi. It crashes. Yes sir. What point do you go? What the fuck was I doing in a hot air balloon? Oh, I imagine about... I imagine about 10 seconds into the hot air balloon.
Starting point is 00:15:04 How cross would you be with yourself for putting yourself through the hot air balloon thing? And that's what we're about like, it's like risk, isn't it? But like, you go in the hot air balloon, you'd be like, oh, this isn't safe, this isn't as safe as other things. I'm in it's fun, but why? Why am I in a wicker basket for God's sake?
Starting point is 00:15:22 Yeah, he trusts so much. I can't help but then I imagine what from picnic goes... Yogi Bear? Yogi Bear loves a bit of wicker. He loves a bit of wicker. But you don't see the wicker man... I don't have wicker anymore, do you? No, the wicker car.
Starting point is 00:15:38 So the wicker car was a short-lived invention, yeah. A wicker car. A wicker car. They let you. Oh dear. invention yeah a wicker car a wicker car um they let's you so yeah so you know the wicker car was a short lived invention we didn't see much of it so what he's wicker trousers didn't get much wear oh they'd be scratchy when they were they were they were very awkward but they were in the gap sale so what can you you do? Oh, that's it. Is that how you, is that how you style yourself, Glocky? What's in the gap sale?
Starting point is 00:16:07 Pretty much what's in any sale. What's in the sale? What's in the skip? Do people have a wicker hat? I don't, I mean, people have a bit worth straw hats, but I don't think wicker hats. Wicker hat would be just a bit too heavy. The weaker industry's not thriving, is it? I think they make a lot of
Starting point is 00:16:27 fortenermation tampers, stuff like that. That's true, yeah. The hamper. That's the soy hamper, I think. That's sort of hamper and baskets. That's it, isn't it for wicker? Bins? Wicker bins! Wicker bins! Yeah, the waste paper. But that way Edward Stopen got in trouble for. So we're wicker bins. Well going to see his leap door over the paper So I went to bin Will leak You really had to go to Sweden didn't you? Because his wicket bit leaked
Starting point is 00:16:54 Fact, puppies have confused Edward Snowden with Julian Assange and will continue to do so for the rest of the episode Where is he at the moment Stodin? I don't know, he's in an embassy moment, Stoden? Hi, did I? He's in an embassy, isn't he? Shall we find him? Could that be our gift to the world? I've read Leta Day. Do you think he lives there?
Starting point is 00:17:10 Do you think we've got a lot of time on his hand? And he's got a lot of his mind on the web, doesn't he? I wonder who's the... A lot of his minds out there on the web. Do you reckon anyone's don't listening today? I have. I tell you what, if you're a friend of Snowden, send him a recommend. Say look, you had a tough time Snowden send him a recommend say look you've had a tough
Starting point is 00:17:26 time with it because of the web give your ear canal a red letter date you're stuck you're stuck in that embassy take your hands in ours yeah come fly six Snowden's a refund got two years in a heart, hasn't it? So, here's the thing, if you work in that embassy, do you think you've got the arsehole with Snowden? Because he's pretty much moved in, and he's not going anywhere, and he can't leave. But they invited him in, didn't they?
Starting point is 00:17:56 Yeah, but you invite people around. It's like, you know, the end of a dinner pie with something like up in the jungle to another bottle of wine. It's like, well, it is arthorn, mate, and we have got work to learn. Do you think the life of Edwin Snowden could be made into you, me, and D the tunnel, it's under the bottom of the wine. It's like, well, it is half one mate, and we have got work tomorrow. Do you think the life of Edward Snowden could be made into you, me, and Dupree too? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- Not a bad movie idea. Yeah, I quite like it. Do you think he lives it up? Do you think he's just like, he's farting away
Starting point is 00:18:26 poking on a big cigar? Poking on it. Yeah. Poking on cigar? I think... Did you... Token? I bet he's having a restricting game of
Starting point is 00:18:36 Pokemon Go. Am I right, guys? But it's frustrating being bloody Edward. I'm as frustrated as Edward Smoden playing Pokemon go it's just across the road I can't get there. Is he South African? South African isn't he? I think so.
Starting point is 00:18:55 Oh he's not American. I think he's South African. I know but we can't ask him. Can we not? He's I know but we can't ask him. Can we not? No, he's right there but we can't. He's a African. Yes. And one click for no.
Starting point is 00:19:09 Okay. He's head towards slow to the American. He's a pecs. He's a pecs. One click for yes. Two clicks for no. Wait, is he American? He's American.
Starting point is 00:19:18 He's American guys. He's American. No, that was one click for no. You asked if he's an American. One click for yes. Oh, sorry. He's American guys. He's American. No, that was, I thought that was one clop for no. You asked if it's American. I took the S to click. Oh, sorry. He's American. He's American.
Starting point is 00:19:28 All his leaks were from the FBI and the CIA. Yeah. They weren't from the table, maintain. Yeah. Where do I bloody built on factory? Where are they? He's the secret to you guys. It is not a real table.
Starting point is 00:19:40 Oh, God, that's not good. He's a mountain. Not bad, is it? No, it's more like this. It's a fucking prod. This you fucking prod, you fucking prod. You fucking prod. This is a whole YouTube thing, so it's a fucking prod.
Starting point is 00:19:49 Thank you, bro. It's a fucking prod. If you can't tell, there's a lot of secrets in this dick men. The only secret you can give is from a prod. In fact, the dickens are the prod on the Barbie. On the brie. On the brie. On the brie.
Starting point is 00:20:02 Oh, it's a different life, I tell you. Well, the life in South Africa. You've been to South Africa, can it's a different life I tell you. What the life in South Africa? Yeah. You've been to South Africa, are you? I know. I know. I was telling you that the first time. I was telling you that the first time.
Starting point is 00:20:12 What? You've been to South Africa. Oh my god. We're going to do it episode of This Is Your Life, where you've not really been paying attention to your life. Oh that's not bad, is it? Yeah. Oh, the things you've forgotten you've done.
Starting point is 00:20:21 Yeah. Oh. Fact. Tom went to South Africa in 1999 visiting Cape Town. Oh, the things you've forgotten you've done. B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b Yeah, but we've established he's not South African. No, but you can still barbeque if you're not South African. No, you can't make that's the, do you not see the ruling? That's what's off. That was the key leak in WikiLeaks. The rule is you can't barbeque indoors, right?
Starting point is 00:20:54 An Edward Snowden. He's an English Indoor. Wait, just send the same. You can't have a fucking proi! I can never fucking prune. Give me a brie man, you WikiLeak bastard! You're a wicker! Give me a brie man, you wickedly bastard! Oh, I'm still eyes for better sighted. There's a fucking Pikachu right over there on the pavement that I want to talk about!
Starting point is 00:21:12 Oh, holy, I went to Wales via Pakistan, yeah! Yeah, that's what that's what it's about. I'm starting to make it. Wales via Pakistan. I'm starting to see, yeah. It's the Welsh Embassy first. He headed to the hills. He went up the Kaima Pass.
Starting point is 00:21:26 And ended up in Swedish Embassy. I think the Paul Life of Venice, this is what I did. What we've established Thomas, we know nothing of the Embassy. We should have gone and seen that Benedict Cumberbatch movie. That I bet it is. Everyone else's talk. Yeah, it was about, yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:41 I thought that was about the Sherlock guy no he is Snowden no no better than a place you know we've been in a film about Edward Snowden it was a bizarre film it was a bizarre film it's fall and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats well almost almost anything so now you can't get a maple tree on Uber Eats, but maple syrup, maple lattes, and maple bourbon. Yes, we deliver those. Turtles?
Starting point is 00:22:11 No, but turtles the dessert? Yes, because those are groceries, and we deliver those too. Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region.
Starting point is 00:22:27 See after details. Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman planting her coast of freedom at a lot more. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that.
Starting point is 00:22:41 Four things. It's a like theaters of December 15th. Oh, okay. Here's my story. I've got it right. We all have to pitch a plot, a film plot. Okay, I like it. Around Edward Snowden and his live being stuck in an embassy. Okay. I got mine's a romcom. Yeah. Right. He's looking at his window trying to catch the Pokemon that's over in the park because it gets young viewers involved.
Starting point is 00:23:04 Right? So it's a romcom... No, the Pokemon that's over in the park because it gets young viewers involved. Right? So it's a rom- No, the Pokemon's the root in. Okay. He sees a beautiful Swedish lady. A beautiful Swedish Pikachu on the salad. I'm really well-beh- My wonderful snittles. They're such snittles. Anyway, a snittle salesman comes past the park
Starting point is 00:23:22 right in front of where his Pokemon is that he can't get to and the Pokemon is like a Symbol for this woman. It's gonna be like his love They make eye contact she see she'd be a simple Yeah You guys some time so you can come up with your Edward Snowden So wait so he's in love with the Swedish girl. Hey, Edward Snowden, full of selfishness. He's an example salesman in the past.
Starting point is 00:23:49 And he knows if he goes to the park, he'll be caught by the CIA when he's there outside. OK. Like Beverly Hills Cop. Yeah. Right. So Snowden's looking across. And the film is a rom-com.
Starting point is 00:24:03 Yeah. Oh, it's five months. By the way, can I just say? Yes, of course. Listen, you're really enjoying this episode. Yeah, just thought we should really be. This is a red-letter day period. Skyman's going, I really want to go and see that Schnitzel lady.
Starting point is 00:24:15 Schnitzel's lady's like, who am I? No wonder we're Schnitzel. She tries to get a job at the embassy so that they can be together. OK. Anyway, all the longer short of his, the end of the film, Snowden needs to decide, will he cross the road to kiss the Schnitzel lady and then get arrested by the CIA?
Starting point is 00:24:31 What does he do? It's like the end of crocodile dandy. He crosses the road, he goes to kiss the lady, he catches the poker one instead. The CIA goes to Pants, Schnitzel's ladies push Schnitzel in their tailpipe. Like Beverly Hills Cop. Beverly Hills Cop.
Starting point is 00:24:45 Beverly Hills Cop. And he gets the Pokemon and the girl. And then the three out of the Vengeable. They barbecue the Vengeable. They pop in this orb and have a conjugal visit. It's not great. Ah, we saw... So there's something in a man who can't leave his house,
Starting point is 00:25:00 seeing a lady and being loved and the only way he can talk to her is throughs song. It's a musical. Oh my god. Well, okay, we'll launch the Kickstarter I suppose. I guess, let's get that going. Yeah, Clark, if you've got one. Is it like home alone?
Starting point is 00:25:19 Because that's the other one. Is that the other one? Yeah, okay. It's called Ember Sealow. Tom, Tom, the idea of writing a film is not that you get a existing film and apply it to another story. Yes it is. It kind of is actually.
Starting point is 00:25:32 Alright, Jack Frost 2, Edward Snowman. Oh, hello. Right. Right. Doesn't snow in the embassy. He doesn't snow in the embassy. So he's melting. Oh my god, hang on. Edward Snowden's dead.
Starting point is 00:25:43 He's got to keep the room really cold because he's cuz he can create slow-out This is very similar film to mine Edward Snowden is dead dad Edward snowhands Edward snowhands Edward snowhands Jack Frost too Jack Frost so Edward snowhands dead dad appears to him as a snowhands Look at the snowhand look right It was a slow hand look right? It was slow hand look right? He's got frozen eggs. He's got frozen eggs. He has his eggs frozen.
Starting point is 00:26:10 For fertility reasons. He's going to Brazil. He wants to avoid the Zika virus. This is the one that's got everything. This is Christmas movie. It's a Christmas miracle. Edward Snowden. You've got Snowhands every time you,
Starting point is 00:26:26 you know, your freesier, every time you scratch your balls. He frees his own eggs, but he's snowhands. Okay, this is great. I'd be a jackpot with a snowhands. I'd be a little bit with a cold, a frudge, a finger. It's a finger. It's a musical. So it frees his legs, so you throw them down to the snitch or salesman.
Starting point is 00:26:53 Oh no! It's the worst snowball fight in history. Oh, well by hand my frauds and schnitzers. My schnitzers raise a love. What does that mean? That's the final line of the trailer. My shnid's those phrases love That's the final that's like it's like the final line of the trailer. Yeah, that's like it's a dog with sunglasses This goes And then it's cut to you Little Pokemon a little Pikachu with sunglasses guys
Starting point is 00:27:25 I've heard about a frozen schnitzel But this is ridiculous Give me a prawn baby I'll throw my prawns on this crystal. We should definitely pitch this well This is the best up movie idea of all time like so it's jack froth to it was snow hands frozen to So it's Jack Frost 2, Edward Snowhand, Frozen 2. Brackets, it's Snowhand Luke, he's Snowhand Luke. Edward Snowhand Luke, Colon Frozen. He's frozen, frozen, frozen, frozen. Space docking.
Starting point is 00:27:55 Frozen is Colon. Oh dear. So what we're basically saying is there's a lot of things that are snowden, can't they? I hope this has really cheered him up over in his prison cell. Because this is how it works when you live in South Africa, the Brigha thing. If it's a day like today, they have hot days, they have hot days, do you listen to that? I took all the day. It's a gorgeous fresh, cool hill.
Starting point is 00:28:17 I'm going to go to work. You buy more. I'm going to get you a big shit bag of me. We should say we're recording a since South Africa. Oh yeah, it's a special event. No, it's a spare. We threw a data since South Africa. Oh yeah, it's a special event. No, it's fair. We threw a data map and went to South Africa. I thought it was unrelated.
Starting point is 00:28:33 Yes, sorry, sorry, I'm sorry. So if it's a nice day at work, you just buy a big bag of meat. Yes. You call up your mates and be like, who's house? Yeah. And then you just go around and say Ferrari You go around his house you have a you have a bit of meat and you just all stick it on the bride You drink a beer you have a swim in the pool and you go home the thing is to every day you need a drink beer nor eat meat
Starting point is 00:28:56 I'd go in the pool though, wouldn't I you have a great time with the pool and Then you put the bar with you out You talk yourself straight into the pool Water yeah, of course you can oh my You saw it yourself straight into the pool. Oh! Can you saw it on water? Yeah, of course you can. Oh my god. That's one of the best things about absorbing.
Starting point is 00:29:10 Can you saw it on ice? Jesus was the first Zorba. In the history of the world. So Zorba the Greek. Zorba the Greek was the second, right? Second, right? But Jesus was the first, and actually, a way in which we tried to play with it.
Starting point is 00:29:21 Most of the miracles, you can see that there was a Zorba involved. Eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, They've been trying to play with it. They've been trying to play with it. They've been trying to play with it. They've been trying to play with it. They've been trying to play with it. They've been trying to play with it. They've been trying to play with it. They've been trying to play with it. They've been trying to play with it. They've been trying to play with it. They've been trying to play with it. They've been trying to play with it.
Starting point is 00:29:32 They've been trying to play with it. They've been trying to play with it. They've been trying to play with it. They've been trying to play with it. They've been trying to play with it. They've been trying to play with it. They've been trying to play with it. They've been trying to play with it.
Starting point is 00:29:40 They've been trying to play with it. They've been trying to play with it. They've been trying to play with it. They've been trying to play with it. They've been trying to play with it. They've been trying to play with it. They've been trying to play with it. They've been trying to play with it. They've been trying to play with's me. I mean, I'd wear it. Oh, there was that lady you'd have to do. There was that time where they only had four and a half sorgs, but they had thousands of people who wanted to sorg.
Starting point is 00:29:53 Yeah. And he broke all the sorgs, and then they... There was a lot of sorgs for every letter they company. The sorg being on the mount. That was the first red letter day, so... Was the sorg being on the mount? And if we think about it, guys, isn't the resurrection the first red letter day's end. Was the Zorbing on the Mount? And if we think about it guys, isn't the resurrection the greatest red letter day of the more?
Starting point is 00:30:09 That's really great stuff. I mean, I am thinking about it, but I'm worried that my brain's not allowing me to come to the answer that I think you want me to have. The answer is Thrice times ye. Thrice times ye. One for Jesus, one for his father, our Lord God, who calls for his daughter and three for a boy. And good morning, Mr Magpie. So, there comes
Starting point is 00:30:34 a point in every P-Vam where we have a complete breakdown. It happened very early. We've had about three of them, three of them so far. One for Jesus. One for God. And one for that lovely little mag bag. It's picking away all of that wonderful gold. It is like we're talking in code for most of these. These eps. That's only because we communicate with Snowden.
Starting point is 00:30:56 Oh really? Yeah. We're trying to get under the same bed. I tell you what, code. Fucking hell. Right. This is because code. When you were a kid.
Starting point is 00:31:04 It was all about secret code. It was all about secret codes. Yes. How much time and effort did you put into secret codes? We definitely spent a lot of time on secret codes. Oh my god, and that's gone now. Although I guess if you were right for the internet and you're probably full on into codes. I, uh, the halfings are post. My blog.
Starting point is 00:31:18 Yes. My blog's got loads of secret messages in lemon juice on it. Really? Oh, that was the only thing that's what, like lemon juice, or you could write with a candle. With a candle, yeah. Is that the font that you use? On word.
Starting point is 00:31:29 Lemon juice. Lemon juice, yeah. Well, the equivalent of that now is you turn the letters into white, don't you? Send a right email. Oh, I like it. I like it. Send it into, say good stuff.
Starting point is 00:31:40 See me, that's it, isn't it? That's good stuff. I think you've got a blank email from me. Think again, bitches. Sweet. It's Snowden communicating. So what I'm thinking is listen to Dias. Should we come up with some kind of code? Because don't we have our secret signal? Yeah. I think we haven't talked about really this series but it's cool to have a secret signal. It's very cool to have a secret signal. The head and the right finger circle in the air. Yeah so just it's like we'll explain it. So yeah if you're walking down the street and you see one of us or you see someone you think might
Starting point is 00:32:06 be a pee-bam listener, I mean that's a big gap. Someone's got a pair of headphones on and they're pissing themselves with laughter. Yeah, Charles is a good chance. My dad wrote a porno. Very strong part. I'll rock it. So, yeah, so tapping on the head. Tap on the head. Tap on the head and then we'll do a sort of circle in the air as if you're making a little tornado with your finger. Yeah, that's it. So we've got a secret single, that's good, but should we have a secret single?
Starting point is 00:32:33 Oh yeah, if you don't have one. No fighting rules. We've done a reworking of the semi-sonic classic. Christmas in the Emberson. We'll fight Edward Snowden. Christmas in the Emberson. What? What? I heard it was snowy then. Christmas, Christmas, Christmas. It will be lonely. We need these Christmas. We are the same.
Starting point is 00:32:49 We are the same. We are all going for different choices. We should all work on the lyrics together before we record the songs. Oh no, we need to. Oh my god. I tell you what. Would you like to sing a song? We'll give you the title.
Starting point is 00:33:04 We'll all sing it and see how many of the words we get the same I think that's not a bad idea. What any like a pre a pre-written song. No, no, it's a song. We're gonna right now We're gonna sing our versions. Yes, okay, so okay one one word each for the title. So it's gonna be lovely stuff Everyone lovely stuff everyone here we go. Oh, it stuff everyone. Here we go. Oh, it's Pappy's. Two. Oh, one. Two. Three. Four. The EARLEST OF EVERYONE. We have a nice time.
Starting point is 00:33:34 Fuck it all up. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a nice time. We have a tasty time and everyone wants for some me too. So... Fact, this is the worst moment in the history of Papi's bangers and mash. I wanna go this out of the street, I'm aware my baby lives.
Starting point is 00:34:00 I wanna go come up to my baby, my baby, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, my land, of podcasting. We're flaming lips of podcasting. Basically, we haven't been relevant since 1997. You said it. From time. Ever since the soft bulletin came out, people were bloody hell with the future of music. And they were like, no, no, no, no. Sorry, we're not guys. We're gonna re-release Captain The Cradle,
Starting point is 00:34:37 but call it a different thing. Right. Sorry. Father and son. Father and son, yeah. Sorry. What I would like to know is what our code can be. Oh, that's a good one.
Starting point is 00:34:47 Because like if we could, or if we could have a coded message in this podcast. Oh, I can't be any. So, so if someone's listening to, oh, sorry, this might be a different thing, but if someone's listening to the podcast, like that thing of when detectives in films, kind of when spies meet up and they're like
Starting point is 00:35:05 the sunset is very nice tonight. So they say in Moscow but not in Berlin. Yes, that kind of thing. You can't say that. You can't say yes, that kind of thing. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, just give me the fucking briefcase man. And you'd be sitting on two park benches both reading the newspaper but like looking straight ahead. And if someone says it to them, you have to give them your bag. I mean, that's not what we agreed for. Oh my God. We're going to do an international bag swap.
Starting point is 00:35:34 What? If you see another P-bam listener and you say the sun sets lovely and they say yes, but not in Berlin. In Moscow, but not in Berlin. Yes, in Moscow, but not in Berlin. Just for bags. Just for bags. I'm not going to go. I'm not going to go. Oh my god, that's an exciting thing.
Starting point is 00:35:48 It's like that changing lanes with Ben Affleck and Morgan Freeman. Is that right? Just swap briefcases. Yeah. Those swap briefcases, it changes their day for the worse. It's lucky it doesn't change their day for the better, otherwise it would have been quite such a good film. Yeah, Morgan Freeman has slightly better sandwich in there. Affleck's Morgan finds out he's got a bigger lunch than expected because it's a flex lunch All rounds as buddies bloody hell Yeah For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For round For four rounds of parties. Four rounds of sandwiches. Where is... on Affleck's... Affleck's scene is this?
Starting point is 00:36:46 Oh man. Keenwa salad. That's not gonna get me till three! That's... Can I have a deep pan pizza? Yeah, it's on the phone. It's like a road dog. The disappointed on Affleck's face when he realizes he got Morgan's lunch.
Starting point is 00:37:01 I... you know what? Because Morgan's a thin man, isn't he? He is a thin man, he's a tough man. He's a tough man himself. Affleck lives high on the bloody hog. Affleck is the kind of guy who wakes up and cracks an egg in his gob. A frozen egg, one of Stodem's frozen eggs. Fucking ice-plow-le.
Starting point is 00:37:16 That's the start of the movie. He gives it out. This frozen egg is partially defrosted. It's free to give you a deep-painted surf. Sorry, who are you now? That's like a flame. That's how it does, man. Hey, do you lack apples?
Starting point is 00:37:31 Well, how'd you lack, that's not him. How'd you like these frozen eggs? How'd you like those frozen worms? Goodwill hunting, too. I've frozen my apples. Sorry, Edward Snowden. Edward Snowden hunting, too. Sorry, Edward Snowden. Edward Snowden hunting too. Oh dear.
Starting point is 00:37:47 Yeah. Do you think he plays hide and seek in the embassy to Edward Snowden? Well he's sort of playing a giant little microphone of his life. He's hiding in plain sight. That's what hiding in plain sight means, isn't it? Facts? No. No, I heard about Snowden?
Starting point is 00:38:06 Well, I heard. But he has a robot in America and with an iPad as a face and the attend premieres and high-five hard-ass robots. I swear to God, I heard it from two different sources. Well, I tell you what, so we'll go to the ultimate source on Edwin Stoden knowledge. Does Edwin Stoden have a robot to produce a pecs with an iPad for a face? Now it's one clock for no, two clocks for yes. Two clocks for yes this time.
Starting point is 00:38:32 And three clocks for, I don't know. Oh, so it's yes and though. He doesn't know. Is this the most demeaning thing we've made someone do? Ah, I think we care for us. I think that the things we always demean ourselves first. That's very true. That's true.
Starting point is 00:38:51 Put you two pegs. Do you find the clocking system demeaning? 15 gloves per yes. What happened up? I don't know if you laid an egg. We have a baby. He's a big slice of the snow in his egg. We have a baby! Pigs, Pigs,
Starting point is 00:39:06 Pigs, Pigs, Pigs, Pigs, Pigs, Pigs, Pigs, Pigs, Pigs, Pigs,
Starting point is 00:39:14 Pigs, Pigs, Pigs, Pigs, Pigs, Pigs, Pigs, Pigs,
Starting point is 00:39:22 Pigs, Pigs, Pigs, Pigs, P Johnny V? I don't know, I assume so. I imagine. I've already seen most robots like Johnny V. Don't you feel like you would have seen a photo of it rather than just someone describing it? Honestly, I think I've read it. Like I'm pretty sure it happened.
Starting point is 00:39:33 That's amazing. Should we start doing that? But also, did it pretend to? I think we could get him on as a guest. We never invited to any premier, so we'd have to crash the premier in the first place. That's the only way we could get him on as a premier. If we could pretend to be able to start doing that.
Starting point is 00:39:43 Should we invite the premier? Yeah. Do we hack into it and stuff? It's like the if we can pretend to be able to be the We We have to do it. It's like the guy who's been sitting in potty a some we could be God, who's that? I don't think we can get away with that No, no, no, we could get away with being able to Sydney potty I said African Because if we do it, I have to do that premier. No, he's not Oh
Starting point is 00:40:04 Who's Korean chips? That was... I thought that was deliberately French. Oh! Which by the way is the perfect one wearing the one. It's very nice. It's very nice from the top of the year. Under from Ash. Under from Ash?
Starting point is 00:40:19 That's true. That's the truth. That's the truth. Under from Ash. Bath of cheese. You've just described yourself, mate. I mean, that's the person you've been do from us. Bath of cheese. You've just described yourself, mate. I mean, that's the first you've been wearing since the age of 14, I'd say. Home, do from us.
Starting point is 00:40:32 Home, do from us. What's that, Pribula? It's on the toothbrush. Yum, yum, yum, yum. It's nice bit of brie under the old armpits. So, do you think we could get away with being Snowden's robot? Nice bit of Bri under the old armpits. So do you think we could get away with being Snowden's robot? Also, don't people just go up and try and watch like a batman on his face?
Starting point is 00:40:57 Well, I wouldn't. Also, imagine if like someone knocks him over. Imagine getting stuck talking to him. Imagine him getting stuck in a corner and he can't negotiate his, he's wearing a corner. Snowden's done one, two minutes. Snowden's being pissed and gropey as a robot. That's what I do if I started to sit there. I know. I'm not saying you, I'm getting pissed and gropey and it's just me and fucking future pegs. I get a lot of whiskey in me and send my robot up to no good. I'd see if my robot could pick pocket George Clooney. Stuff like that.
Starting point is 00:41:25 It'd be like what could Snowden's robot do? Well, like, ladies and girls, they're toilet and they're like, good evening girls. I'm literally like Snowden's robot. No, I can't hear you. You're totally into kind of porkeys. Yeah. It's a new movie pitch. Snowden's robot. Short Circuit 3, Snowden's robot. Snowden's robot though, presumably, isn't like, why are you getting Snowden's robots commit extra crimes? The fact that the robot is able to move in the world is because he hasn't committed any crimes. If the first he does is go molest somebody or rob somebody, then I guess that's like... But he's cheeky crime.
Starting point is 00:42:03 No, it's not. We're getting to very dangerous territory. If you describe going into the world of his toilets and getting gropy as cheeky crime. No, yeah, no. I'd say like, I'd say like, you could pinch Clooney's bum. Right? That'd be okay. You can't be like, we can come back to his nip. Right? No. I'm going to say, I'm you've been... Any unwanted sexual attention, whether by robot or by you and let's face it It's more about you than it is no this is Snowden's problem is his robots naughty than he is
Starting point is 00:42:31 So like it's like you lost control me. So there's no good three. It's like hey robot Let's go and talk to the mayor of Toronto and they go over and it's like I mean the robots like hey Nice tits on your wife. So, the story's like, whoa, whoa, I'm sorry that was robot. There's a manager on to the guy who didn't he smoke like a crack? I died. Oh, he died, yeah. Yeah, he passed away.
Starting point is 00:42:58 Let's say the Prime Minister of Canada, the cool dude. Yeah, the liberal dude. Cool dude, cool dude, Prime Minister guy. What's going on? I'll cut my resume, produce Pecs. Peckin' out in Morse code, would you? Because. So you go, you're talking to the prime minister
Starting point is 00:43:12 of Canada and like the robot goes off piece basically. It says like, go, your son's an ugly guy. There you go. Oh, robot. Your son's an ugly guy. Yeah. He's not nice.
Starting point is 00:43:24 I don't know why. I don that's the problem, like the robots. The robot's, the robot did time in a rack. He was an ex-bomb disposal. He's hurt like a robot. He's hurt like a robot. Right? So the robot did time it, he did two turns of a rack doing the bomb disposal, and it's affected him.
Starting point is 00:43:44 And he's got like a laissez faire attitude to life he don't obey the rules he doesn't walk around the supermodel and now he's got snowed his face on him and he's on diplomacy duty they're the original odd couple this is this is really this is actually good you know that isn't yeah so it's the guy who it's the guy who can't leave the embassy and his robot who's a loose cannon the robot is an ex-military loose cannon it's a bit like 2001 a space odyssey as well isn't it? Is that what that's about? I've never known. And all you have to do is go right. It's basically the whole space.
Starting point is 00:44:12 The robot learns a sex robot. The robot learns, right? He learns to love that sometimes the biggest bombs you can dispose of social ones. Ah, that's a good stuff. Definitely to social bomb, it can be as damaging as a bomb. And the final shot is him, is him with sunglasses on, obviously, the robot. And he says, nice tits on all of us. Yes, yes. We'll always be together. Together in a luxury dream. On the doorbell of the embassy guys Snowden's upstairs alone and he goes down and the and the robots there with a chef's hat on and a barbecue in his hand I'm here to defuse your heart. Oh my god. This is the best snowden we've ever seen
Starting point is 00:45:03 Oh my god, this is the best snowden movie I've ever seen. He's snowed in his own genre now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've all got a snowden movie in us. That's what they say. Everyone wants to see if that was snowden movie in them. I think we finally cracked it though. The Snowden robot. I love the fact that he's an ex...
Starting point is 00:45:18 He's an exerachmum disposal robot. He's done time. Like he's done his kind of... He's done his... It's tall. He's earned a shit. Yeah, done his kind of, he's tall. He's earned, he's earned a shit. And there's a reason he's got a screw loose. Literally.
Starting point is 00:45:30 So he's got a... Well that's the final one just tightens the screw and it's fine. No, no, no, no. I think, but that should be the moment. He's been looking around for a screwdriver. And they said someone gives him a screwdriver, I feel it was how screwdriver goes to town. You could finally... Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:44 That in short circuits, he dies. and then someone gives him a screwdriver, I feel it was how screwdriver goes. I can't tell. You could find the link. Yeah. In short, it's in the details. They find that he's like, I guess I can screw my loose screw and they go, I'm gonna say, I got, that is a, that is a war-winning dialogue. I guess I can screw my loose screws. I guess I can tighten my loose screw and then Edelson goes, actually mate, it's the loose screws that Makas who we are.
Starting point is 00:46:06 Oh my god! Don't tighten it. Do not touch it. Do not touch it. It's, it is a lot of prongs in District 9. But also stop telling the Canadian Prime Minister started to touch it. Because that is causing us a diplomatic problem. I'm going to be a diplomatic impudent. That's what you guys, why you guys thought you were so African! Because he's got people on the computer! That's the thing! Ah!
Starting point is 00:46:32 The only way you could qualify for the D.F. That's the community to have a safe African accent! Oh no! I've never seen that film, ETHER! D.F. D.F. D.F. D.F. D.F. that film either. DIPLIMITIC IMPUNITY BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH- It provides written and performed by Tom Perry, Steve Bakley, Javelin.
Starting point is 00:47:08 Oh, all of the favourite Olympiad. A favourite Olympiad, like, but something you've performed in the Olympics. That's right. Oh, Matthew Crosby, Ellie Simmons, Ben Clark, Limpford Christie, Drunk Sheat, Limpford Christie. Drunk Sheat Lymphod Christie. Oh, come on, maize. We've all had a bit.
Starting point is 00:47:28 And it was produced by producer Pex. Who's favourite Lymphiad is a chicken? Oh, yeah. It's very nice. It's very nice. It seems absolutely fair enough. So, keep your reviews coming in. Roll them along.
Starting point is 00:47:47 Roll them along folks. Yes. Last time we asked you to review the podcast in the style of like a movie and we've got we had some great ones, really, really funny ones. We had Ellie Gels who said, so good, it's a must watch before and after you die. Oh my god, that's going on the post, that's definitely going on the post. We're getting posters everyone. On every month, we promise merch
Starting point is 00:48:08 that never arrive. We get delivers. That's one of our things. We also had this one move over Hunger Games. Crosby has never been better. Paris Bold Choices must be heard to be believed. Clarke's portrayal of confusion and rejection will break your heart.
Starting point is 00:48:23 Producers Pex looks set to replace the minions in the nation's heart. That is from Deruf Trauser. Yeah, I also thank you very much for the pictures that came in. If producer PECs being a cartoon chicken. Oh, that was very strong. Really strong. Very strong. Oh, I'm the dude who actually made the app.
Starting point is 00:48:40 Someone made an app. It's not really an app. I've never had it where we can put it. Because it was just a little link to a website But we'll stick it on our Twitter. It's an else that gonna do. I was that gonna do I was that gonna do Bless you dear listeners, you're working away. You're beavering away This month can you send in reviews, but they have to be written only in fact yes
Starting point is 00:49:00 It's a very fact-based episode or you could throw an opinion So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's-
Starting point is 00:49:12 So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's-
Starting point is 00:49:18 So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, let's- So, September. Can't wait, love you all, had fun? Yeah, had fun. All right then, anything else to say? Well, I guess, cheers everyone.
Starting point is 00:49:31 Bye! Fact, the voice you are listening to is Snowdum's robot. Nice tits on your wife. Nice tits on all of us. Now, let's dance. A 1, 2, 3, 4, 3, 4, 1. At least up there, everyone, we're having a nice time. Come to me, everyone, get some wine and don't you know, we're having a tasty time.
Starting point is 00:50:01 And everyone, we're loved love If you saw me feel I'll ever go down the street I'll turn away my baby lives I wanna go on my matey My baby and my dance So now I have to see What's in your song? That's it, what happened?
Starting point is 00:50:19 Why is this happening? What is this? Why is this happening? I thought we invented a new type of music What is this? I thought we invented a new type of music But we hadn't. Guys, if you enjoy listening to the podcasts, then you may also enjoy watching us live in
Starting point is 00:50:41 the actual flesh of life. We have a residency in the middle of London Town, so ho at the soho theatre, it's called the secret do to society, we have a live band, we host the night, do a lot of mucking around and we have some of our brilliant friends who are luckily also comedians performing. So let's give you the dates and the guests and if you fancy coming along please do. Clarke, when are we doing it next? Yes, we're doing it next? Yes, we're doing it on September the 26th.
Starting point is 00:51:07 Yes, that's Ed Gamble and Sam Simmons, our very special guests. Then we've got a spooky Halloween special. October the 31st. That's David Trenton, Richard Gad. It's gonna be a lot of shouting. Yeah, or it's gonna be an angry one. It's gonna be an angry show. Then in November, we're gonna be bringing in Bonfire Night.
Starting point is 00:51:22 And we're also gonna be bringing it Australia to you. Yes, November the 14th. It's going to be Flisty Ward and Stain Raskopoulos. Let's just repeat, that is not Bonfire Knight. Not Bonfire Knight Thomas. It is Bonfire Month. And then, Christmas special. Uh, December the 19th.
Starting point is 00:51:38 Oh, ho, ho, ho, it's a podcast special. We've got Stuart Goldsmith from the Comedians Comedian and the King of Podcasting himself, Richard Herring. They're gonna be interviewing us simultaneously as we open our presents. So, how long? Also all of those shows we should say, all of those shows will contain some combination of beasts
Starting point is 00:51:56 or Max and Van or lazy Susan and DJ Pigs will be there at every single one. I can't wait to see the dudes. So the secret dude site please come along and be a member. Tickets are available from the Soho Theatre website. Thanks for listening. See you there. Bye.
Starting point is 00:52:11 Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman plotting her course to freedom at in Lut for. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance.
Starting point is 00:52:27 I love that. Poor things. It's like theaters, December 15th.

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