Pappy's Flatshare - Ep 1502: Tom's TikTok Tip Trip

Episode Date: February 12, 2025

We're back in your ear canals. In this episode - Tom's has ideas, where will they rate for Matthew and Ben between mastermind and drunk in a bin?Don’t forget…You can get the show early and ad free (plus a bonus episode every week) by joining our Patreon https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareWe’ve got 2 live Flatshare Slamdown shows in February MONDAY FEB 24TH: MATT LUCAS AND LORNA ROSE TREENTUESDAY FEB 25TH: JOE SUTHERLAND AND RUTH HUSKOGet tickets to either show (or a special discounted ticket that gets you into both shows!) right here: pappyscomedy.com/live Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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The three of us sat down and chewed the fat, got through all the stuff we needed to get through and boy oh boy was it a fun old record. Yes it was. Tom, are you happy with that? Are you? The mouth was moving, words were coming out and the brain was thinking, what's happening here? Where are we going with this? You got anything to say?

The brain was thinking, hey, I didn't sign off on this. This is not me here. The subconscious was working. Can I ask, did you start with Yebe? I believe so. here. The subconscious was working. Can I ask, did you start with yeah bear? Because I'm all for, you know, it's twenty twenty five is brand new series. We're trying to get new catchphrases off the ground. Yeah, bear. It's not it's like, yeah, boy.

But it's also like baby. Yeah, yeah. It's kind of like, yeah, baby. Yeah, it's very twenty twenty five. Well, twenty twenty three, maybe. Well, 2023 maybe. No, no, no. As you know, the phrase BAE was invented on the 1st of January 2025. Very hip, very now. Robert Demure. He knows it. Up again in style.

That's right. This is a bit... You hear me, Barry? I would like to put subtitles on it and see what the subtitles make of what I said. I would love that. Yeah, absolutely. I'd love that all the way through the episode. Is there any chance? Yeah, is there a chance we could have that for the next episode?

Because I've got absolutely zero clue what you're on about most of the time. So it'd be very useful. Very, very. Be nice to know what we're agreeing with. Well, listen, actually, that's that is that is not true this episode because, Perry, you came out the gates hot with some some very, very exciting ideas. Bless you. And we're delighted to share them. We delighted Thomas has chosen to share the idea, which we should say the idea that you hear in this upcoming episode, though, are copyrighted by Tom.

Don't try and nick them off us. All right. That's not how it works. We're talking to Ben here specifically. Ben, you can't steal these ideas. Yeah, it's a no. It's a note to self. Stop nicking Tom's ideas. Yes. So don't don't nick our ideas.

They're, they're strong ideas. Do I have to do something legally? I think do I have to legally say no. Do you know when people copy and paste something to their Facebook status or Australia and they go, well, this is legal now. Goodbye Meta AI. Yes. Come on.

Let's do it. Exactly. Here we go. Uh, uh, uh, audio copy. I don't know why I'm doing it as a robot. No, it on. Let's do it. Exactly. Here we go. We got an official beep. That's good. Okay. We didn't have an official yay beeper, you know, we'll, we'll, or yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Didn't have an official yeah. But yeah, that will, that will hold up in the court of law, I believe certainly in podcast land. It will indeed. And by the way, if there's a very special offer in the middle of this episode, a very

special offer for attendees of our next two flat share slam downs. So it's probably worth just re promoting those. Good point. 24th and 25th of February, we're back at the Phoenix pub in Cavendish Square in London, right by Oxford Circus, where we will be joined on the Monday by Matt Lucas and Lorna Rose Treen and on the Tuesday by Joe Sutherland and Ruth Husko all fantastic comedians all fantastic people. We can't wait to have them on the show The tell you what there's nothing like the first record of the year those first couple I love the first day of a football season. Yes, the smell of summer in the air

Bright Sun on the pitch. That's a football season. The smell of summer in the air, the kind of bright sun on the pitch. That's the football season. I was going to say, it's still in winter. Yeah, and we record in a basement. But you know, you get the gist. The stale smell of beer off the floor, the sweat on the walls, but it's always a great excitement when we're back and doing it for the first time. Absolutely right. And you can get tickets for I think 11 quid each. But if you want to get both of the I know very, very cheap. But if you want to get 1995 prices, 1995 people were sitting in the Varna for 11 quid in 1993. Exactly.

Exactly right. Yeah, but you can get them both for 19 quid, if you like. Both tickets to get into both shows. If you go to the special link at Pappy's Comedy Dotcom forward slash live. All ticket links are there. And of course, if you remember the patron, you can get two quid off all of that just by using the promo code. But we won't tell you what that is, you can get two quid off all of that just by using the promo code.

But we won't tell you what that is because it's just for the Patreons only. Speaking of the Patreon, join the Patreon to get early and ad free episodes plus a bonus episode every single week of Flat Share Pop Round. And you can join that at Patreon.com forward slash Pappy's Flat Share. Do you ever just try and guess discount codes? Like, yeah, I was buying a bookcase last night. It's always worth a welcome 10 go for welcome. I just went for like Feb 20.

Yeah. So like, if you're not a patron, I have a go at guessing our discount code. Can I just say, I will now have to check because it is it is welcome tent. That was my mistake. My mistake was given out the promo code. Yeah. So sorry, guys. Fifty.

Give it a go. If you cry, then fair play to you. Fair play to you. Right. And speaking of fair play. Oh, play, you'll want to play this podcast in the fairest way possible which is via the earcadals. Pappy's Flat Share. Talking about whatever. Pappy's Flat Share. We've been doing this forever. Pappy's Flat Share. But we don't really live together.

Pappy's Flaten! Yeah! So I've got an idea for a reality TV show that I think could be the next thing. This is what we need. Great. But, I believe in it so much. I only had the idea last night, but... This is great, yeah. It is great though, but that's the thing is if I put it out there... Someone nicks it? Yeah, like it's a genuine go

So what you saw you saying you you're not gonna tell you're just gonna so the way you started today's podcast is you're gonna say I've got this idea. I cannot tell you for copyright reasons The idea is do we have to guess I don't know if we haven't started yet or whether we have started We've found your opinion. Basic Tom Tom when we start recording, that's the what would you do if you had a go? Do you mean? Well, I will share it with my two friends.

Yeah, also work in the business. And I would I would, you know, I would I would use their expertise to help you work it up into a pitch document to take it to some of the big Some of the big broadcasters and streamers come on Barry He doesn't want to tell us he doesn't want it. Look I can I've never seen Tom so agonized in my entire life He's got his head in his hands. We don't know who's listening to me if Babes they're tuning in Tom.

There couldn't be a safer space than our podcast. I'm hanging on the next Traters on a plate. Is that what it is Traters on a plate? It's a cross between Great British Menu and Traters. Yeah, yes, please. So I use cook the bad meals. Who's the bad meal? That's the first working title.

By the way at the moment all TV shows have got a title like who's cooked the bad meal? Who's cooked the bad meal? That was my first working title. By the way, at the moment, all TV shows have got a title like Who's Cooked the Bad Meal. Every time I was talking about this, every TV show seems to be called a really long phrase, you know, and a phrase that you can't remember, like the new Daisy May Cooper thing, it's called, well, nobody expected all of this stuff to go on. It's something like that nobody expected all of this stuff to go on You know, like it's or you know, there's like I Can't believe you've done this that one of them or whatever. It is. It's you know, there's there's so many I can't believe you've made this that was bad. It wasn't it There's that Netflix thing that's called like, Oh no, not this blooming thing again. Is it?

It's like, you know, all of these, everything has to have a long title. So actually who's cooked the bad dinner is a good site. Guys, who cooked the bad meals, who could the bad meals actually? Because you, you're, you're everyone cooks in their cubicles sealed off, but the cameras are in there. They're talking to their recipe. Yeah. It's like love is blind. They're in those little, little sealed off, but the cameras are in there. They're talking to their recipe. Yeah, it's like love is blind. They're in those little sealed off pods cooking away.

And then everyone serves up and then you have to link the meal to the person who cooked it and then you have to say which one's the bad one. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You have to you have to vote off the bad cooks because eventually. Is someone cooking a deliberate bad meal? Yeah. No. Oh, okay. Right. Already we've already we have dissent. Clarkie, you say no. Can I just say this wasn't my idea, by the way, Tom, it's a great idea. Listen, no, no. Yeah,

you're right. You're right. It wasn't your idea. It's now our idea. Okay. And this is the way, you know, this is the, the, the situation we've got here in Papi's Inc. in Secret Dudes Inc. Limited. No one says this is my idea. You say, hey, I've got our new idea. I'm bringing it to the table. And one of our ideas is going to be a bad meal. But bringing it to the table is actually a better, is it maybe a better title than who's

cooked the bad meal? Okay. What you bring it to the table, bringing it to the table brackets, a bad meal? Question mark, Close brackets. I think no, actually close brackets, then the question mark. Oh, well, listen, let's we'll talk about the, you know, the princess place placement later. Why do you think not?

Because then isn't it's tricky with if they're not deliberately cooking a bad meal, because what if everyone cooks a fine meal? Yeah. Are you not just then pitching MasterChef? Yes. Good point. Who's cooked the worst meal? Still MasterChef. Who keeps cooking the bad meal?

It's quite blind MasterChef, isn't it? I genuinely tried to pitch a show that was pissed MasterChef, which I thought there'd be something good in that. It's like Drunk Histories, but Drunk MasterChef. Drunk Histories meets MasterChef, yeah. I came up with the idea when I was making myself an egg sandwich after the pub. And I was like wanging a bag of crisps onto it. You thought this could be a TV show.

That's the sort of fucking great. That's absolutely the post pub mindset of going, you get what I'm doing now is so unbelievably good and cool. It should be broadcast on the television. This should be, me right now should be on the television. Me on be me right now should be on the television. Me on me hammered should be on the TV. When you're pissed and you're cooking. Yeah, you really you think you get you did like the flair I try and bring to my egg sandwiches

because I'm six pints down. Six I'd say six is too many to let people in front of a like there's going to be a lot of injuries on this show without the problem with it with the pitch? They were like, oh, it's a bit sort of health and safety. It's one of the problems. There are a few problems knocking around for this idea. I'd love to watch people be drunk and try and cook who are like who are famous. Okay, who's cooked the bad meal because they're pissed? What one of them? Who's pissed?

The secret alcoholic. One of them's pissed. Functioning alcoholic wins a bar tab for life. You won't have to cook a meal about which one's the pissed meal. What's your go-to pissed meal? I don't cook when I'm drunk. You're more of a kebab man, aren't you?

You get it elsewhere. I get it elsewhere or I just go to bed. More likely I just go to bed. Clarky, I know you. You're not just going to bed, you little choir boy. You're not going to bed. I've had a couple of pints now and it's half 10. I think it's time for you to just go to bed.

I'm going to die myself. It's half two. You're chopping eggs all over the place. You're honestly. No, mine, mine was fish fingers. Fish fingers is always going to be a part of it. That's a good one. That's a fish fingers.

It's going to be a waffle. So it's going to be, it's going to be two slices of a granary bread, buttered and a slice of cheese. And with a lot of, with a lot of hot sauce, possibly a Nando's perinay is there. The vinegar maybe. Yeah, no, no vinegar. No vinegar. I think that that's great though. But I know you're a vinegar supporter, but I will defend your right to the death to put vinegar on that special sandwich.

But not not for me. Not for me. The peronies is all I need. But yeah, that's that's that's mine. That's a good one. That is lucky, obviously, just goes and goes into bed and reads his Bible. Yes. Well, because he's because he's fasting. That's right. He doesn't want to break. My body is a temple. Yes, I've had. Yes, I've had 17 cans of extremely strong Polish lager, but I like to look after myself.

Can I can I tell you one of my favorite? One of my favorite moments I've ever seen of a pissed Clarkie was we were around your house. Now it must have been about 2016 because we did the mannequin challenge. That's how I know it was 2016. Oh dear. I was planking in the kitchen. I was planking in the bed.

Clarky fast asleep. We went round, we were playing some board games, we were having a few drinks and Clarky was hungry and so went to the fridge and got out a block of cheese and just started eating the cheese, right? Just nibbling away on the cheese, drink it at a can of lager and with the Tusky, he drinks on one hand, block and cheese on the other hand. And then he's and then and then he then Clarkie, you said, Oh, no, I've just realized I haven't done my steps on my Fitbit today.

So you got up and started jogging on the spot. And I said, I was like, Clarkie, the horse is bonkers. There's no point now. Was that your description of me doing my Fitbit? I said, watch that Gigi go. A block of cheese in one hand, a Polish lager in the other, hopping around on, you know, jogging on the spot. I'd love to see that mannequin challenge where it's like it pans around everybody frozen

in time and then you get to Clark. He's just trying to do it, but also getting his steps in. Absolutely ruined. It was a good time. Nine, nine years ago, you've come a long way since then. That was now would be, you would, you would get to the fridge and you would have, you'd get out some milk and make yourself a nice oval tin. It's eight o'clock. I certainly wouldn't have done the Fitbits though. No, the Fitbits. That's a distant memory.

You haven't done 10,000 steps since 2016. Do you want to hear my backup idea? No. Of course we don't. Are you going to pitch and go and listen? Is your backup idea, spoil your main idea? Have I got my second best idea for you? The backup idea, which might already be happening, I guess, but if it isn't, then I think this is an easy way to make a million.

Okay, here we go. Four words, one pitch, live stream the tip well you know there's like you know there's like a karaoke bar in new what's that karaoke bar in New Orleans that you like to watch on the on the old live stream clock in you watch the cat meow there you go it's like that but you're just watching the tip and you just get to have a fucking good old, good old gander at what people are getting rid of and who's getting rid of them. Do you not think it would it would cause a lot of people to try and do some like tip driving?

Some tips, you know, like jumping into the tip. Yeah, because it would people be like, bloody hell, that's a good sofa. He's just chucked out or whatever it is, you know, like jumping into the tip. Yeah, because it would be like bloody hell. That's a good sofa. He's just chucked out or whatever it is, you know, going to get rid of that. He's getting he's getting rid of that mattress. I thought you meant just to make themselves instant celebrities. Oh, I see. Like we were showing up in in costumes and doing extra sort of flair around the tip.

No, I mean, do you think it will be you sort of don't really want to advertise the contents of the tip too heavily, do you? My tip, anything good goes off to the side. Yeah, you've got to because you've got to reuse. You're not just chucking into landfill. You've got to reuse. I had a lot of tip action in the last couple of weeks. I too late learned as I was on about my eighth trip to the tip.

There's a big sign as you go in that says you're only allowed four trips in a four week period. What? Are they clocking you in and clocking you off? This is what the sign says and someone told me, oh I got told stop going back because I've been so many times. You've had enough. I got I got told stop going back because I've been so many times After that I started I started showing I won't say adopting a disguise My stuff I did have access to a lot of hats. I was gonna ask why you'd finally started changing your clothes

It's only took was that the people at the tip started looking at Skonsi you were in the same clothes every single day. So what outfit, what kind of different and did you use a different voice when you had to wind down your window and say, and he said, oh, Bay number three or whatever, did you sort of use a sort of a sort of accent of some kind? I kind of adopted a slightly different attitude, I think. Oh, yeah, that's it. You inhabit a character and I try to target different tip people. But basically like the live stream and the

tip thing, there was a guy who, there was a guy who if you got him, some people, particularly people under the age of 30, they'd be like slinging in mate. Ironically, the people with the most to lose from the planet going to hell don't give a flying shit at the tip. They're like, yeah, yeah, banging in there, not recyclable. They're just on an easy life. Yeah. But they're new to the tip, aren't they?

Because I don't think you don't go to the tip in your teens. You don't really go to the tip that much in your in your kind of early twenties. You know, if you are in your mid to late twenties, that's a new, you know, it's a new novelty for you. This is why we need to get the tip to TikTok. This is why we need to live stream that TikTok. TikTok, TikTok, I can't say it. TikTok tip. TikTok tip.

TikTok tip is a good, Tom's TikTok tip. Yeah, okay, okay, now we're talking. Yeah, I think- Tom Davis hosts trips to the tip. Do you know what, Tom Davis is a great call. Yeah, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay,

okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, convincing enough to perform. I think that's really good though. A live streamed tip is great because it's fun. There's an element of people watching to going down the tip anyway. Yeah, it's a bit like looking in somebody else's shopping trolley.

You're like trying to get a measure of what's their life like? What's going on? They like their life to be like. Yeah, because, you know, the tip is often a and the other is it just a mere clearing out the garage or are they doing a full house move and a load of stuffs going? What's going on? You know, I think I think you can get real, real stories.

I'm going to say I reckon this is a bit rubs. And if this is a warm up to the main idea. Oh, I'm out. Oh, no, I'm so sorry, Clark. Let's hear your fucking amazing idea then. Oh, bag of out. Oh, I'm so sorry, Clarky. Let's hear your fucking amazing idea then, mate. A bag of clothes? A clotheshorse? Your idea is a bag of clothes and a clotheshorse? Is this your pitch? I'm so sorry about that, that you had to deal with that. Go on. Let's hear this idea. Let's hear your second best idea. Great ideas have to go. They have to go through this process. You always get naysayers coming early. It's a long life and a merry one.

You gotta keep pitching. You gotta believe in your idea. Tick-top tip trip. It's the tick-top tip trip. Tom Davis tick-top tip trip is good, strong stuff. And don't let the old curmudgeon who've been ground down by the industry, don't let the naysayers get you down Tom.

I'm backing that. I'm back in that. There's one guy there. My tips grace. There's one old boy at the tip. And if you get him, he goes through your entire bag before he lets you put it in the non-recyclable and you just have to stand there like a naughty schoolboy and he just sorts through it and just looks, He's saving the planet. He's Captain Planet. Looks back down. Is he? Is he?

Or is he just being a bit of a... Is he enjoy it? He enjoys it. He's high on the hog. You can do both. You can be both. Like, Captain Planet probably wasn't a lot of fun to hang out with. Do you know what I mean? You only use the rings in an emergency. You're not like, are we going down to the pub? Should we use the rings? Yeah. It's the inherent problem with any,

you know, any climate campaigner is that it doesn't seem like a laugh, but it's my old motto. You know, if you're heading down the pub, take your ring off, John I mean? And it's written good, because you don't want to inadvertently summon Captain Planet. That's right. That's right. And then of course, when you get back to when you get back home to the hob, all the rings are on. All four rings. Crank them up to crank them up to full. All the rings are on and let's do some cooking. We're hammered. Let's hurt ourselves quite badly.

Okay. We've got drunk master chef. We've got Tom's TikTok trip, a tip trip, which I love. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you, Matthew. I think these are good ideas, man. Oh, it's a shelf.

Great. And it goes. One guy, the guy was so thorough going through my stuff that he stopped me. I've got 400 DVDs of my 2015 standup show. Yellow t-shirt. I've got 400 DVDs in a box and I'd finally gone right. I'm going to get rid of these because I've put them through four house moves now and I'm not going to be shifting 400 DVDs. I could keep five for posterity, sure. Oh mate, getting caught with 400 DVDs of your own show. Oh no! So he did me, like he did me rotten on my kind of penultimate trip to the point where I was like,

I can't now go back with my 400 DVDs because if he's on and he catches me, then I cannot go through that. So they're still in the shed. He did me over. Give your email out at the end of this and they're going to be honestly, we're going to be inundated with people saying, listen, if you want, if you're just chucking them, send them my way. People want to see that show. Next flat slam will bring them all down. Yeah. Bring them down to the next flat slam. If you come to the next flat slam, but you get a free TV to eat. In fact, our audience numbers, if you come to

the next 30 flat slams, you'll get a free TBT. We've got 400 to give away. I had this excruciating basically, it's not a cracking story, this, but the actual exchange was this, right? In your Christmas on mine too, when we were filming the Christmas film, there's a hotel that we filmed at and you have to give it obviously like I'd given it a fictional name Hotel Schomburg and the art department had built this beautiful Hotel Schomburg sign like a light box that they had at the front of the hotel and on the last day of filming the art department brought it to me and said we want you to have this as a souvenir so I had this and it was it was huge. And you were like, no. And I was like, oh, thank you. Put it in the back of my car, got home and then I've struggled to know

what to do with this huge lightbox hotel Schomburg sign. So I was like, that's got to go. Finally, it's been it's been behind my shed for a long time. I always thought I'll plug it in and have it as a night light outside. It's like that hasn't happened. At the front. So I was bidding this hotel Schomburg sign and he came over and went, what's that? And I was like, Oh, it's just a sign. And

he was like, it's industrial waste. We can't have waste from a business. And I was like, Oh, it's not a real hotel. And he was like, what? And I was like, it's a pretend hotel. And then I tried to walk away. I tried to walk away and then he was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, you can't be chucking a business thing in there. And I was like, no, no, it was a gift to me. And he was like, from the hotel.

We got into this awful, like long winded conversation. And in the end I had to say, look, it's a prop for a pretend hotel. And he was like, oh, from like a student play. And by that point I was like, it's actually, it was actually a film that I wrote. Oh no. For Amazon. Heard of it.

And he was like, he tricked you. Yes. This is, this is the drama we want to see at the Tik Tok. I was like, it's actually from a film. Yeah, exactly. Thank you. This is a whole episode. I mean, if it was this, I've just never had any experiences. There's a story behind every trip to the tip. Yeah, I don't want to write Tom Davis' opening monologue for him, but

There's a story behind every tip to the trip. Greg Wallace back at it. I was going to say, that is not Tom Davis, by the way. Go on then. Quick Tom Davies. I can't do it. I mean, yeah, there's a story. No, no, I can't do it. No, he's just anyway.

Listen, let's not go down that route. Thomas Thomas, a lovely man. We can't do his voice. He's a very talented. I can't, I can't. No one has ever mistaken me for Tom Davis for so many different reasons. I mean, I'm not a great actor. I'm not a great actor.

I'm not a great actor. I'm not a great actor. I'm not a great actor. I'm not a great actor. I'm not a great actor. I'm not a great actor. I'm not a great actor. I'm not a great actor. I Tom is a lovely man. We can't do his voice. He's a very talented. I can't, I can't, no one has ever mistaken me for Tom Davis for so many different reasons. But yeah, that, that, this is it. It's the drama. I wonder if now the live stream is, is slightly doing it, not, is not letting this idea shy.

Oh, you're not, we're looking at 24 hours in A&E. We're talking about an OB doc now. any. We're talking about an odd doc now. Yeah, we're talking about. Yeah, that. But also. Oh, no, no. Oh, no. He comes crawling back.

He's got his. You've got to sell these things to me. I forgot you ran Netflix. So he's the job he was talking about. You ran Netflix. Don't worry about me during meetings. I will get up. I will grab a block of cheese. I'll have a little march. It's a power move though. If a Netflix addictive got up, took a block of cheese outside, running on the spot, you'd

be like, Oh no, is this pitch going really well or really badly? I can't tell. What is he drinking during it? Starts thinking the theme tune to Cheers, which is an inside reference for my listener, dear. Really? Well, but then we got into this debate of, well, if it was for a film, then it is industrial waste.

Yes. I was awful. It was awful. That's why I was thinking it's still have the site. It's an Amazon production. One of the biggest one of the biggest industries, I'd say, in the world. I had I didn't mention that. I just said, look, it was for a film we made. And he kind of went well. And I said, but it was a gift to me at the end of that.

No. And he was like, and you're and you're throwing away. You should just he's got it in his house. He's a it in his house. He's a big fan. But after that, I thought, imagine going back and getting caught. Imagine the moment what's in there and just going on DVDs and going, let's have a look and open it up. It's 400 of your own DVD. Yeah, I'd say if you're trying to keep a low profile

and try to do five or six trips in a month or whatever it is, then I don't think bring in 400 copies of your own face. I'll tell you what, actually bury me with those DVDs because I can't face the idea of getting rid of them. Being caught getting rid of them. So that's my dying wish is bury me with my DVDs. Have you read the story of the guy who accidentally sent his Bitcoin to landfill? Oh my god, I did, yeah. About 15 years ago maybe he did it. It was like a long time ago. Yeah, me and Clark and Skone, another one of our friends, are in a, we, whenever there's a crypto

story, I send it to Ben and Skone because were crypto bros. What's that? Well, they were crypto bros a few years ago. I remember that. Like, you know, we were they were on they were they were dabbling and I was kind of like interested in the in the world. And so whenever it comes up, I always send it to them to be like, what's going on, boys? I remember when Clark is a crypto bro, because that I was definitely at least one party where I wished he'd gone to bed So I've gotta be up in the morning he telling me how easy it is to get started Luckily Clark you got out the crypto game just before it started being lucrative Fortunately high sell low guys

Not for me. So yeah, whenever I see a crypto story, I still don't fully understand them, but I do whack them in the crypto bros. So he's got his, what is it? What do you need? Like a passkey or a blockchain or whatever it is. He's put that on a hard drive, squirreled it away, he claims. Yeah.

And then when he was tidying up, he was like, oh, this hard drive, I'll put it in a black bag in front of the front door. But that doesn't mean throw it away. His partner then took it down the dump. How is that? What happened? Yeah.

Something along those lines. Yeah, his partner took it. And then, and since then he has been campaigning to the council. Yeah, to let him let him get a team together to excavate. He's like, I know exactly where it is. How? How? Because I know exactly where it is. I need 15 people and two diggers that I can get myself there

and I can get this money and then I can. And what you're saying is I want the council to fund that, because then when I open up and there's eight billion pounds in this in this Welsh like tip then I can you know put the put the money back into the back into the council. This is the series finale of TikTok tip trip. I think it's gotta be it's gotta be is it Newport where it's happening you have you've got to do it in that tip. if somebody else finds that hard drive, will it be, can they access that Bitcoin? Is this going to inspire, you know, a kind of sort of Fargo style, you know, that we know, you know, when there was the, the, the poor woman who went

out trying to find the money from the movie Fargo, not realizing that this is a true story, this is based on a true story that it isn't, wasn't based on a true story at all. And then end up dying in the snow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think that's what's going to happen is that people I would be on red alert if I ran that if I ran that similar thing you got some looking for the money from its treasure island. I didn't realize. Half down, tried to do the goonies. Didn't realize. Sorry, someone died. I felt like an absolute one-eyed willy. I really did.

One-eyed willy in his hand, using a divining rod. Divide about that. You're not closer Divide about that. Like a demon. You're not closer to God doing that. I think you're closer to hell. So, yeah, can people go out and find it? Would they be able to make use of it?

Should we launch our own crypto currency? That's another conversation, by the way. No, we shouldn't. Yeah. Because people do, don't they? And then... Pap coin. Should we launch pap coin? Clarky, you're a crypto bro. How does it work?

How do we launch? Well, it's quite simple really. You get all your coins. Oh yeah. And then you put all those coins. Oh yeah. And then you put all those coins onto the internet. Yeah. And then people buy all those coins. Do you have to mine the coins first?

Yeah. Well, no. I think we bury the coins onto the internet so other people can mine them out. Right. Okay. But we also sell them. Great. My refusal to engage in cryptocurrency in any way. Like what does that what is that indicative of? Because it's

clearly it's clearly a big thing and something that is not going to go away. But I don't even want to begin to try to understand it. It's because you're of a certain age and you think I've got my brains pretty much full of all the stuff I've got already. I've got a mug here. That's why I've got a mug full of coins. Yes. That's three, three. Well, there we go.

We don't have to mind them. That's that's the pop coin. We need to do is give out your address, feed those into the side of your laptop, Paris, and then we're away What I want the system I want is you stick money in a mug when you get it in your house that you don't think About and in about 15 years time someone comes on and goes hey by the way that mugs worth two million pounds now You like oh wow that's great. I did it right Yeah, but it's not that it's not that is it is it like that? Yeah, but it's not that it's not that is it. Is it like that?

No, like Clark if you'd stayed in the game if you'd stayed in the game What would you be worth now? Is there a have you missed out on being a millionaire? No Okay Yeah, you need to go to the though, for that to be a reality. That's the problem. You've got it. You've got to. You've got to put it in the tip for it to really the crypto tip trip. We contact people who've been crypto. The crypto tip trip.

That feels more like a sort of ITV sort of tea time game show. It feels like the crypto tip tip trip hosted by Ben Shepard. Welcome to Newport. That feels more like a sort of ITV, sort of tea time game show. It feels like the crypto tip tip trip hosted by Ben Shepard. Welcome to Newport. We've got five contestants. We've got five diggers. We're going to find this hard drive. Who's going to find the crypto first?

It's like a tipping point. Yeah, crypto tipping point. I love it. Harry, are you any closer now that now you've seen that the workshopping of your ideas has actually been quite fruitful? You know, the good cop of of me and the bad cop of Clarkie for for teasing out the best in your idea. Are you tempted now to give us a little a little flavor, a little elevator pitch?

So you just do it. You just do it. You're right. Let's do it. Let's do it. And I'll say it at the bit. I'm audio trademarking it now. Right. Yeah, that works. Does it work? Now, if this doesn't work,

I'm gonna look like a right chump, aren't I? Yeah. Just book yourself in some meetings, ASAP, you know? This doesn't go out till Tuesday. You've got two days. It's very top line. So you'd call it either you'd call it something like pigeonholing or you'd call it labels or something like that. Okay.

And it's Big Brother meets Traitors meets Mastermind. Not the quiz show Mastermind, that game show Mastermind where it's like you've got four right but not in the right place. Oh the board game. The board game. The board game. Right. Yeah. Yeah. The board game that had a sort of bond villain type guy sat on the front front cover. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Got it. Got it. Yeah. Oh, iconic. Yeah.

If you're over the age of 40. So I would say even then. Yeah, it was an old box in your house. Yeah, it was a game that your parents had bought in the seventies and you were still playing in the early eighties. God, they went mad for it, didn't they? It was the Sudoku of its day. We just just very, very quickly. It was. It was. It just very quickly to explain what it was for people, people who don't remember it. It was basically you had a board that you could stick small little, I guess little sort

of pins into, little pegs into, yeah. And you would put three pegs in and they would, and then people would be trying to guess the colours and order of your three pegs. So if you had a blue, a brown and a white and they put in a white, a yellow and a grey, you'd say you got one one right, but not in the right order. You'd have to sort of explain it was. And you're doing theirs simultaneously, aren't you? I think so. Yeah. Yeah. It's been a while since the right combo first. It was extremely simple, but it was really addictive. It was a really like, it was great. And you get that

thing going. You've got four and there's an element of battleships to it isn't there as well that thing of going like it's like you've got You've got four right You've got one director hit and three that are in the wrong in the wrong place and you have to try and calculate What you've done there and go again? Exactly, right exactly. I keep that game play in mind So, okay to go back to the pitch, it's big brother. It's traitors. It's mastermind the board game. Correct. I feel like I might lose them on that last one.

Weirdly, that's where you'll get me. Yeah, that's the only thing I'm interested in. You stick 10 people in a big brother house. Yeah. And there are 10 labels. You'd call it labels or something. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I like this already. So it'd be like, I don't know. Fucking you'd go. Can I just say that the pendulum is swinging so far the other way. Clark is really overcorrecting. Oh, I love that! Ten people! I love that! Ten people! Fantastic! Say no more!

Sold! Sold! You've got the cheese by the way! Now, it depends how channel four you want to make this. There's a sliding scale of what you could do, but then you've got ten labels, you've got, now look, if it's a bit more BBC, then it'd be like working at a tip. Then it'd be like teacher, journalist, blah, blah, and whatever it would be. But like is it all professions?

No, not necessarily. That's the more BBC version. If it's channel four, it'd be like virgin. Yeah, it'd be virgin, celiac, lesbian, you know, spice it up. But like if it's the three sexist words, hey guys, if you are all three, congratulations and get in touch. This is my incognito search history. This is if you are a celiac virgin is also a lesbian, we can send you 400 copies of Tom's DVD. That's the big prize today. You just scored jackpot. Yeah. Yeah, you're a unicorn

So So then everyone spends so there's one of it Vicar would be good or Reverend pretty yeah, whatever it is Yeah, yeah, very traitors and then you spend at the end of every night Everyone goes back to their everyone goes to the diary room or whatever and has to give who they think is what label. Very good. And you have to, and people are trying to hide what they really are, but they're doing a series of tasks every day and by doing them you reveal more about your personality and

someone has to, and then you get eliminated if you have the worst amount of guesses. Yeah, you get told, you know, you've got six right, you've got three wrong or whatever. We don't know what the exact ones are. The the the only thing I say about the elimination process is the good thing about the Trader's elimination process is it turns the players against each other. Yes. So like if you're if it's just literally, oh, you got this many wrong, you're out. It turns it more into like a kind of game show.

Yes. Like you've had a great, you know, you've done very well. You've been a fantastic player. We loved having you. But off you go. So is there a way of turning it back in? Oh, you have like a confession booth or something where it's like, well, that's the person who figured that out.

like, well that's the person who figured that one out. You sit down, you eat a bag of grain. Okay. That's not the celiac I'll say that much. Did you think a celiac is something you could only eat gluten? I took some anti-celiac medicine and now I can't eat anything that isn't wheat. Who said they were a horse? You sit down at the grain buffet at the end of the... Everyone's looking around going, who's not eating the grain? There's some fake grain.

You know, there's a mole. But anyway, it's about... And it's everyone pretending that you're having to go in and disguise who you are and lie and try and convince people that you're... It's a bit like, Tom, it's a bit like when you go to the tip yeah and whoever can get rid of their recyclable stuff in the non recyclable trying to disguise who you are exactly that's right yeah you're trying to smuggle away plastics but like and then everyone has to guess the audience knows I think who's what going in yeah, and then you're watching them all be deceitful

Yeah, so and then the eventual gameplay I don't that's what I'm trying to work out like the elimination bit and stuff like that and what you want is this big Finale of like who's who but that people would be really into that There's a lot of good elements there. There's a chance. Do you do you tell people like in mastermind like you got four, right? Yes So there's a chance that I think eliminating people is right I think keep people in you eliminate people when they get it, right, maybe Because there's a chance someone just like first and people would people throw it away wouldn't they

People if you knew they were going to get eliminated for getting it right, they would deliberately do it as wrongly as possible. No, no, no. You know, you get a prize. Oh, I like you kind of won the first out first out. I know. I know. But obviously then as well, it's like the prize pools getting smaller as you go down.

Maybe there's no elimination. Also, because the game gets easier. This is for another time. But look, the idea is rich. There's things in it. There's stuff to explore there. But like, because if you eliminate someone and they're the priest, then you also do you eliminate the priest, does the priest label? Yeah. Do you have that moment where one come and goes and she

was the priest pigeonhole guard? Yeah. I mean, I don't know if you saw Lisa, the priest revealing she was a priest on traitors. It wasn't exactly fireworks. What was that an element in the last series of trade? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I thought. Yeah. There was a secret. There was a secret priest in there.

Our secret priest is my fourth idea. Hey, I've enjoyed working here, but I have to tell you, I'm a priest and I forgive you. They were a priest all the time working here undercover. I'm a secret celiac priest. Thank you for my bless you for my great the body of Christ, the body of Christ. I did eat a lot of grain. Is there any chance you could show me to the nearest convenience

and everybody else to leave the room for the next 48 hours? Because Channel four, the cameras keep rolling. Of course. We need to see this priest shit himself. There's one in the U bend. Absolutely right.

Well, Tom, I love it. It's a strong idea. It'd be good if it was like, you know, again, if you channel four it up, then it could be like one of the categories could be like, has a ball inside their butt cheeks. And it's like, Tom, Tom, Tom, we were going so honestly, do you not hear me? Do you hear them? My tone of voice? Well, Tom, I love the idea.

It's great. Well, we're wrapping up. I was doing that. We're at the meeting. Yeah, the great, you know, yeah, yeah love the idea. It's great. Well, we're wrapping up. I was doing that. We're wrapping up the meeting. Yeah, the 40 minutes. You know, yeah. Yeah. You know what? Sometimes sometimes it happens in a meeting.

You will take it. Someone's trying to draw it out to an hour for no reason at all. Other than they just blocked out an hour. But you close it. It would take five minutes. You feel it wrapping up. And then somebody goes, oh, by the way, could they have a snooker? What there are.

And you've got the whole thing. Crosby's tactic is I'm just about to shake. I know Crosby's tactic is at 40 minutes, kind of agree with Tom. So it'll stop talking and then we can wrap it up. 100%. Yeah, actually, Tom, no, you convinced me, actually. No, you're right. Yeah, no, you're right. It would be better if all eggs lived on the moon.

OK, well, OK, well done, everyone. I think that's it. Another great episode. Don't forget, if you would like to get those DVDs, do contact Tom at his personal address. His personal address, Hotel Shambord. I've actually got a pitch meter with the BBC actually. No, no!

The problem is I've got a pitch meter with the BBC in literally 15 minutes and I've lost my snooker ball. Okay, it's a big break. It's big break. Big breaking bad. The tip. Where do you put a snooker ball? I can tell you. I can tell you where I've put it, mate. Non-recyclable.

Here's how it would, here's the final end game, right? Would be all of the contestants, right? They'd be lined up like they were in a boarding school in the 1800s, ready to take a paddling, right? And there would be Claudia she would paddle each one whichever one I think will came out their go yeah who's had a snooze up their ass they think John Burgos John Burgos yeah Try and bottle as many bottles as you can. Yeah. Everyone do a quick jump, Virgo. Everybody do a quick jump, Virgo.

That's one of the categories in the house. One of them's a Virgo. Who can you kiss? I'm a Virgo celiac lesbian. And I've got a snougooker on my arse. Yeah, man. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. A strong start to the year. Our first Pappy's Flat Show of the year. Really enjoyed it. Remember, guys, those are copyrighted. Those are audio copyrighted ideas. Don't make any of them. Don't nick any of them.

By the way, we do by the way, you can get over to the patron and for four pounds a month, you can get a bonus episode every week. So that'll be coming out in the next few days on the patron feed. So do hop on there. You also get a bunch of other stuff like discounted tickets to our live shows. So if you enjoy what we do, if you enjoy what we put out on the main feed, then hop over. You also get episodes early and ad free. Oh, that's right. Yeah, early and ad free. So if the if the adverts are disruptive to your listening experience, which of course they are. Then you want to get yourself over to the Patreon and enjoy an ad free experience. Of course you can still listen to the main feed if you if you're missing the ads, the

ads will still be over on the main feed. So listen to the ad free version. Come back listen to the ads. Yeah, they're all worth it. If you're a fan of the if you're a fan of the AI voiceovers that are taken by the adverts, then you can still listen to them was that Dutch if you were one of the very many commissioners that listen to this do get yes do get it now's your chance and I've been lying in wait all

this time even if you're just a commissioner who wants to get a copy of yellow t-shirt and broadcast it late at night on one of your channels, feel free. Get in touch guys. Also if you're a commissioner and you just like saying no to stuff, get in touch to reject the ideas that you heard today. Oh yeah, we'll take a meeting. Be so funny to get contacted by someone just so they can say, look, we hate those ideas. They're not for us.

Hey, we've had meetings like that. Exclusively, pretty much only those meetings. We've had meetings where we've sat down and they've gone, well, we don't really like what you do and not really sure why you're here. You invited us. Yeah. Sorry, didn't you invite us Dan Patterson? Isn't that what happened? You fucking mad bastard.

Anyway, let's, if you've made it this far, there's a little treat for you. Whose painting is this anyway? Right, anyway, well, always a treat, never a chore. Never a chore. Today's episode is produced by Emma Caution. Caution team. Cheers everyone. Bye.