Pappy's Flatshare - Ep 1507: Annie McGrath - Bring Brong

Episode Date: March 19, 2025

We're back in your ear canals with special guest Annie McGrath. Taking on the important topics of the day including – loudly hydrating on the quiet coach, good deeds via accidental theft, and risking death for a good photoAnnie McGrath - https://www.anniemcgrath.com/Watch the video version on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshare or on any of our other socials -https://www.youtube.com/@pappysflatsharehttps://www.tiktok.com/@pappysflatsharehttps://www.instagram.com/pappyscomedy/Don’t forget…You can get the show early and ad free (plus a bonus episode every week) by joining our Patreon https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareWe’ve got 2 live Flatshare Slamdown shows in March MONDAY MARCH 24TH: HARRIET KEMSLEY + JOZ NORRISTUESDAY MARCH 25TH: SUNIL PATEL + AISLING BEAGet tickets to either show (or a special discounted ticket that gets you into both shows!) right here: pappyscomedy.com/live Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greetings listener dear, I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I am Matthew and welcome to an exciting episode. The whole gang. The whole gang is it. Well, Tom, I can say there's more than the whole gang because this episode we are joined by a wonderful guest, the brilliant Annie McGraw. Annie McGraw joins us for a chat. Again, it's another live in the flesh, in-person conversation between the three of us and Annie. It was so fun. We loved having her on the show. It was great.

It was great, Clarky. It was lovely seeing you guys, seeing her all in the flesh. It was fantastic. The key word is flesh. I feel like I ever emphasized it a little bit. You hit the word flesh. You hit the word flesh. I think I full disclosure, I think I said flesh first. I think that what is it about our flesh that we love so much?

It's such a fleshy episode. We were wearing clothes. We should say. Oh, yeah, but underneath those clothes, Tom. What was going on? Nature's clothes, the flesh. Oh, lovely. But if you want to see the flesh, Tom, if people want to see our flesh, they can, they can see, because we videoed, we filmed it. We videoed it.

Oh my God. We videoed it like I'm asking, could you, would you mind videoing gladiators? I'm going to be out on Saturday nights. We filmed it with a camera. I can't, we shouldn't have prefaced talking about our flesh so much. And then saying we filmed it. We filmed our flesh Tom. What you've got to understand is. I know. It's one of the, you're getting one of the rare instances of Tom wanting us to rain things back. Oh yeah. Go on tell us to rein things back.

Go on. Tell us about the YouTube, Tom. Yeah. Well, we are now putting these episodes out on YouTube, which we're spelling Y O U T U B E. And it is a video streaming website. So if you want to watch this podcast as well as listening to your ears, then get along to, and I believe we're going with www.youtube.com forward slash at Pappy's Flat Share. That's right. That's the place. And we've got a little clip of the flat share slam down

with IFO and Lorna. I think the full episode is going to go up there as well, but it's currently on 49 reviews. So if you want to get over there, we want to double that by next week. If we can, we're setting ourselves achievable goals, but we would like to be, we'd like to be knocking on for a hundred views by next week if we could. But yeah, get yourself over there now. There'll be a link in the show notes and we would love you to watch our content on YouTube. Clarky, can you say like and subscribe please? Like and subscribe.

Thank you so much. If you want to see us, I'm not going to use the phrase, but if you want to see us in real life, then you can come along to the next live Flat Share Slamdowns. They are happening on Monday, the 24th of March, and Tuesday, the 25th of March. And boy, oh boy, do we have some fantastic guests. Harriet Kemsley on the Monday with Joss Norris, Sunil Patel on the Tuesday with Ashlyn B. I mean, really, really fun.

They're gonna be fantastic. Come along, folks. You can get tickets for each show individually, or you can get a ticket that gets you into both shows for a discounted rate. And remember, if you are part of the Patreon, you get discounts with all of those tickets, even the one that gets you into both shows. So get yourself to pappiescomedy.com forward slash live and grab a ticket today.

Beautiful. Absolutely right. Otherwise, well, let's get into this episode and please try and not keep thinking about our flesh. Here we go. Happy flat share. Talking about whatever. Happy flat share. And we've been doing this forever.

Happy flat share. But we don't really live together. Happy flat share. Yeah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah, nothing like the sweet taste of water.

I had a real craving. Is that your vibe? Are you a noisy? Do you like to make a big song and dance out of every meal? Every water I have. Yeah, absolutely. You can't go on the quiet carriage, can you? And you've got a water with you.

I love the quiet carriage. It's my favorite one. Really? Yeah. Always select quiet carriage on the seat carriage, can you? When you've got a water in the go. I love the quiet carriage. It's my favorite one. Really? Yeah. Always select quiet carriage on the seat reservation. Do you? I can't know. I think the pressure is too high.

Plug socket facing forward. Table, oil. Not table. No table. Table's such a higher risk of, you know, having to communicate with other people. That's true. People facing me.

But not in the quiet carriage though. No communication in the quiet carriage. Yeah, but still you have like other people. That's not what you're facing. But not in the quiet carriage though. No communication in the quiet carriage. Yeah, but still you have like other people's shit to deal with. If you're on a table, they're more likely to have like food and you know. But if you go table, oil, and you bring food. Yeah. This is Tom just explaining what a horrible person is to be on a train with. Yeah, yeah. And you're the reason. You're the person I'm avoiding. Yeah. This is Tom just explaining what a horrible person is to be on a train with. Yeah, yeah.

And you're the reason. You're the person I'm avoiding. If you bring a full curry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Katsu curry in the station. The trick is to go table aisle. Yeah. You get on early.

Yeah. And you, well, there's another more, less social way of doing this. Go on. The less social way of doing this. Go on. The less social way is you book table window. Is you hire an entire train. You book table window. Yes. I don't feel good about this, but it is effective.

You book table window, you get on early and you sit aisle. So what people see- Oh, if aisle is available. What people see is a reserved seat, an available seat that's taken. Oh, that is devious. And they go, oh, I don't want to sit opposite this guy. That's me.

I'm the one getting on the train looking at you going, no. So then you end up with your whole table. So that doesn't feel... I don't approve. Yeah, that doesn't feel really... So your strategy is just be as sort of disgusting as possible. No, I book seven seats. Expensive. So your strategy is just be as sort of disgusting as possible. No, I book seven seats.

It's expensive. I don't sit in any of them. I sit in the eighth seat. You just stand on the platform with a handkerchief waving as the train leaves, don't you? It's just an entirely empty train that I've booked out just with a katsu curry on it. I put the katsu curry on it. I put seven katsu curries on seven seats and then I waved them off. It's a weird tradition really. But I'm fascinated by you not wanting a table. Yeah me too. Really? Yeah so you've got the little flap down that's like not

a table, you can't put a laptop on it. You can Oh, you can, you can. No, not an open angle. Yeah. No, it's slightly, it's annoyingly flapping a bit down. You have to shift it towards you a bit. Have you seen Concave? By the way, great film. It's about popes who can't quite get their arms past this angle. Is that what Concave meant?

Yeah, I think so. Sure. I'll go with that. Sure. Anyway, Clarky, as you were saying. Your laptop's not fully open, right? No. It's at a slight angle, but it means I don't have to look out or speak to anyone. Or look at your own laptop.

You just have to show off, look everyone, I've got a laptop. I can't use it, of course. The trick is not to sit on the seat, it's to sit on the floor so you can look off at the laptop. What if someone sits next to you in your little two? Well, they can see all my jokes on my laptop. Yeah. But also they're there. They're right there. Yeah.

That's horrible as well. But that's, that's what transport is. It's public transport. Yeah. You've got to share it with the public. But that said. My point is, if you're, no, we're not making money yet. Some films out.

I love the way you just gestured to my seat. By the way, I've never made a film. I've had no films out. You've been nominated for a BAFTA for your film. I've had nothing to do with films. People just assume I've made films. By the way, I'm nothing to do with films. People just assume I've made films. We're not making that kind of money. By the way, I'm Matthew, not Christopher Nolan.

I do have to say that. You do have that a lot, don't you? Got that a lot, yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone might option this conversation as a film. We never know. Absolutely. It could be part of the Quiet Place franchise, but it's the Quiet Garage.

John Krasinski, if you're watching, we're ready. Come and get us. Do you get snooty in the quiet carriage? Yeah, big time. If someone's not being quiet. Yeah, just, but I wouldn't say anything. I don't think. Just aggressively miming.

The irony of not being able to touch in a quiet carriage, silently tutting. What's the acceptable level of, obviously we know you make a big, big loud noise with the drink, but what's the acceptable level? What do you think is okay? Like if someone's got their phone on vibrate. Yeah, no, just generally. We'll get to noise in a second. Where do you draw the line?

Just generally, morally. Oh, I think people that play things out loud on the phone. Unacceptable. Not just on the quiet carriage. I was going to say any carriage. Yeah, agreed. Agreed. I agree with that. Agreed? Or are you doing that with your katsu curry? Each one has a video phone.

I've got to have a soundtrack for my katsu curry. Tom's doing a zoom call to his katsu curry from a different carriage. From the platform. I miss you baby. So his cats are going from a different car from the platform. Okay. So that's absolutely fair enough. What about if somebody has the clicks on their, it's annoying anywhere, right? It's annoying anyway. In the quiet carriage, you can't have that.

Yeah. But I'm going headphones on. I don't want to, don't want to noise canceling noise counseling. If you're going noise counseling anyway anyway, can't take the risk. Why go on the quiet carriage? Because they don't cancel, they don't make you deaf. They just cancel out some of the noise. I also think this is maybe controversial, but less irritating people are drawn to the

quiet carriage. Discuss. I don't think they're fucking squares on the quiet carriage. I agree with that, but I think you just got your eyes went really animated. I think you're right. I think you're onto something. Yeah. I think they are going to be scry a little bit. I don't understand. They rolled into the back of his head. Get me to the quiet. But he got kicked out for all the noises he was making. All the burbling I was making in the corner.

I've never been so happy in all my life. He's got his finger trapped in a plug. Oh, I'll tell you what. No, I think you're right. I think there's going to be people there. And the thing is, even if they are squares, none of their sort of squary type behavior is going to impinge on you. Because a lot of it will be loud conversations or, you know,

like making noises with their phones or watching something or taking a phone call, which is I know it shouldn't be annoying, but it really is. It's always annoying. It's always annoying. What if you have to take a phone call? Oh, I don't. I would never answer my phone on the train. Yeah, but what. It's always annoying. What if you have to take a phone call? Oh, I don't. I would never answer my phone on the train. Yeah, but what if someone's trapped under a car? You don't know that before you answer.

Sorry about that. I'm on a train. I just got that one really unfortunate friend. Oh, he's done it again. I know it. And then poor old Jeremy Clark's got, well, you've used your lifeline there. You've phoned your friends, they're on a train. Now you've got to just ask the passersby

if they can lift the car up. Clarkson's driving the car. Get out of the car, you bad sartan. You're all right, mate. What if someone's trapped under a car? Sorry, that's quite a grim scenario. Yeah. All right, I'll answer it and go, I'm on a train. I've got you back. I'm dying, mate. I'm under a car. Sorry, that's quite a grim scenario. Yeah. All right, I'll answer it and go, I'm on a train, I've got your car.

I'm dying, mate. I'm under a car. I'm in the tire. Annie, it's me, I love you, I'm dying. Hello? This is getting very real. Yeah, that's what's happening. Wait, so you're not saying come and rescue me.

You're trying to sort of tire for the loose final words. Tire up the loose ends of your life. Yeah life yeah not me the person who's under the car no offense can you watch that be back you're not in my favorites i'm working day my favorites i'm eight though surely i'm quite near the top of the phone i'm not going to get to my phone i'm not going to get to the full contacts you know you've got your favorites list yeah yeah yeah yeah you're not i'm afraid you're not in that list. Yet. Not yet.

But if I have got enough time to stop- You are in top five MySpace favorites. Thank you. If I've got time to work through my favorites and then stop working through my entire phone book, you would be quite soon on it. Can I suggest that a voice note and then just WhatsApp it out to the groups.

Yeah, a voice note, because I can listen to that on the earphones. What? Annie, I love you and I'm dying. Send to all. It's going to piss off a lot of people. It really will. It'll make the funeral really fun though. Hey! Who's this Annie?

It's you! I'm dying and I love you. Send to all. Why has he said send to all at the end of it? He doesn't know have a phone works? It seems to loosen up. Here's a train thing that happened to me. Yes. Got on the train. That's not it.

It's a good story if it ends there. Someone had left a jacket on the train, but it was the only seat. And I realised as I was sitting in it, and then I sort sort of retrieved it ran off to give it to the person. But she had her headphones in. Noise cancelling. So turn around, but I needed to get on the train. And at the point she realised I had the jacket, the train doors shut. No.

She managed to grab onto it, but I was also holding onto it. So the train doors shut on the jacket. No. Yeah. Then she's like pulling it out. I'm pulling it in because I think. Why are you pulling it in? Yeah, I was going to say, that's a mistake. You snooze, you lose. You're a really nice jacket. I didn't realise I liked it. No, but I thought the train was going to leave and I thought better that it's like fully in or out. That's confusing for her.

Yeah. And also it's better that it's fully out, Annie, because it's her jacket. Were you shouting, better in than out? You know what they say about jackets. Better in than out. Who are you? Then the train leaves, right? Why have you got one of your arms in the sleeve? Yeah, she was actually wearing the jacket.

God, what a great scene. Yeah, but then I'm like, fuck, I've got her jacket. So it's half in, half out. The train leaves and everyone on the train is looking at me like... What's her expression as it goes? Fuck you, better off than in. It's a good expression, fuck you. I hear it all the time.

Then I check the pockets and there's a plane ticket which has her name on it. No! It's expired. She's been on the plane. Don't worry about that. Then I checked the pockets and there's a plane ticket, which has her name on it, but it's expired. She's been on the plane. Don't worry about that. She's been on the plane. I was going to say, this is real Richard Curtis stuff, isn't it?

She's about to get on the plane. Yeah, we're married. And she's in the kitchen. Hey, better have been you. Moral. What's this mime? Can I just say, what's the mime? You put your arm out, half your face went sort of slack out, you'd had a stroke and

then you talked in a sort of... You talked like a cartoon walrus. So you were making my voice... To be fair he's in the quiet carriage, he's having to keep it down. So where's she been? She's been to like Malaga or something. But anyway, what I'm interested in is getting the jacket back to her. Yeah.

Yeah. You need to do that. I need to do that because- Well, you're going to dangle it in front of her and pull it away. Better in my house than your house. Then I jingle jangle the jacket and there's a bunch of keys in the other pockets. I'm like, fuck, she needs this. Yeah.

So I find her on type, type, type on your laptop. You can't open quietly on Instagram. Find her. Yeah. Send her a message. I take it to London bridge to the lost property. Where's your train going? London bridge. Where? Oh, okay. I was in South London. I wasn't just like, I'll go to the bridge. I was imagining you leaving Houston for the North. No, I. I was in South London. I wasn't just like, I'll go to London Bridge. I was imagining you leaving Euston for the North. No, I've actually been in South London on this occasion. Yeah. So we're back in London Bridge. Lost property full of men. No judgment. But it was. Sure.

That's just factual. That's the patriarchy, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. What, working there? That's where they meet. No, I think just they've lost their shit. All the men have lost their shit. And then... And then a woman walks in, they lose their shit. All the men have lost their shit. And then, And then a woman walks in, they lose their shit even more. It's like prison, isn't it?

Better in than out. One time he said to me, there's no point in leaving it here, that she'll never find it. He was like, you may as well just leave it outside. I was like, that's not, That doesn't seem right. That's really bad advice. You might as well leave it with me.

What's her name again? Better Up. And her keys, yes. Then I get a message from her, because I find there's like a key ring of where she works. I message them, message her. Anyway, she's got the jacket. She gets it back.

From lost property? From lost property, like half 10 that night. I get a new stuff from her. You're a hero. I'm a hero, yeah, sorry to tell a story where I'm a hero. But... Because it started badly for you. Yeah.

With the whole stealing. Let me be a hero. Let me just, I don't want to be a hero. Because you could have taken it to a work, right? That would have been the really heroic thing to do. Yeah, but I think her work was shut. It was like a Sunday evening. Okay.

You don't believe me. I don't even know if that's right. No, that didn't ring true. I didn't bat myself. Then she messages me saying, thanks so much, you've saved my life. And give me your email address. And I'll, I want to send you a voucher for a coffee.

Oh, coffee. That's not enough, is it? Also, this was like three weeks ago. Nothing. No. Fucking nothing. No. Like, can I taste that?

Are you getting that thing, something's get on your emails where they go follow up? You know, something's like on your Gmail, it'll say, do you want to follow this one up yeah i do want to follow up where's my coffee business just checking back in thoughts on the below is that voucher trapped in a door somewhere yeah are you back in malaga or do you want to get me a coffee love looking for the ultimate online casino experience? Step into the BetMGM Casino app, where every deal, spin and goal brings Las Vegas excitement

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Please gamble responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. Ben AMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. What do you think is an acceptable amount? If she sent you three quid, you'd be like, is that a coffee? It's got to be four pound fifty, I reckon. I think a fiver and I can spend like the extra fifty p, put it towards a croissant. I'd say I'm buying you a pint for that.

Pint feels like one up from yesterday. That's seven quid then, isn't it? Yeah, six fifty. Yeah, I know you've been out the smoke for a while, but you're not getting a point for a fiverr anywhere. Okay. Six 50. Yeah.

I reckon a point for six 50. I'd, I mean, anything at this stage, where is she? Well, you know, an aim do we do with your house? Do you want a doctor? You know, her name and where she works straight down the barrel. If you would, straight down the barrel of the camera. We actually need a garage here. That's what we need. It's a long standing

patreons. Yeah. I can't remember. I think it's, yeah, it's hard to chase up. Isn't it? Yeah. You have done her a huge favour. Yeah. Cause you could have just, you know, I did it for nothing. I didn't want anything, but as soon as she planted the coffee, I'm like, where is it? Where's this coffee? Where's this coffee? Yeah. Unless she said, if you go to the lost property, I handed it in and they just threw it onto the street. They were like, there's no point. It's gone cold though. I went to that lost property once when I lost, I lost my guitar.

Oh really? How do you lose a guitar? Well, we were doing a gig. Yep. I left it on the train. Yeah. Was someone like pulling it in? Bring, brong, bring.

Shhh. It's the quiet carriage. A guy. Can I just ask, have you ever heard a guitar before? Bring, brong. Not trapped in a train door. Brong, bring, bring. Brong, bring. Like a saw. Again, doesn't sound like a saw either.

To brink, to bronk. Two prongs don sound like a saw either. To brong. To brong. Two prongs don't make a bring, you know that. Better brong than bring. No, they won't make a bring. So did you get it back? Yeah, I did. And the guy at the station was like, well, it's gone. And he was like, I was like, is there a lost property?

He was like, there's one at London Bridge, but it won't be there. Why are there so much pessimism about London Bridge? The lost property system. And I went there and there it was. Yeah. I was absolutely thrilled. And did you go back to find that guy who said it wouldn't be

there and go, you owe me a coffee. I'm about to finish the gig. Oh, yeah. I'm here, guys. Brong. Bring, brong, bring. Do you know what I have? Brong.

Brring. Brrong. Brrong, brrong, brrong. Look what I have, brrong, brrong. But the point still stands, right? You're on public transport. Yes. So there's a chance you're going to end up sharing a space with someone. If you're sharing a more spacious space, that's less intrusive. Yeah, but the ratio of people to space is higher. Yeah.

So you've got four people plus their katsu curry. You've got four people, but more space. But then less space. Because four people will have more stuff than two. Like someone facing you is so intrusive. Yeah. I'd rather have less space, but on the back of a seat. So then I would prefer to be doing this podcast, Blair,

which in the corner, we all got nervous. Cause we all look at you as you're talking to you. Oh, someone facing you. So obtrusive. We all sort of went quiet. Cause we were like, are you all right? Also aware that I opened the podcast talking about how much I hate people talking to me and looking at me.

And here we are. Yeah, here we are. Do you not even like the idea of exciting or like an interesting person? Mate, what are you talking about? You started with like, I booked that seat, but I don't see it. So no. That's about space. Cause like the people over here, Mick Jagger's brother. Yeah.

Tom saw Mick Jagger's brother on a train. And here's the thing. I thought you were pointing at me going, Mick Jagger's brother. Oh, we forgot to make that mistake. There's been a mistake with the booking. Sorry. I'm not who you think I am. Oh my God, you're not Chris Jackett. Should I let myself out? Oh God, he's next, isn't it?

That's right. Yeah, he's in the pool. We've got the wrong briefing pack here. Sorry. This question about asking if you can get some satisfaction is going to go nowhere. I wonder if you didn't understand satisfaction is going to go nowhere. I wonder you didn't understand the bronch and the brig. There's interesting people. Trains are quite interesting to people watch.

I think we are at the stage where we are... Because you watched two people have a conversation, one of whom was Mick Jagger's brother, but they didn't chat to you, even though you really would have loved to have been like involved in their chat, wouldn't you? No, I could, if I really wanted to be, I could have been, I think. Oh yeah. What would you hope for the gab bit? Like, so on the train here the other day, for example, I got on and there was a French

couple, one of them in my reserved seat. And you crucially don't speak French, so you're a shoo-in. Here's something I can't do, I think I'll be great at this. A French couple you could tell fancied the idea of being lively. There's like the, you know, they... What do you mean, like snogging? No, no. So I just waded in and got off with both of them.

They looked like they wanted it. Do you just call it kissing where you're from? French. No, but you know, there's like the slight sense of they leave the door open for we could have more interaction here. A thwapple. Tom, if it's a train, they're not

leaving the door open. They close and shut automatically. In France it's a twapple. Isn't it? Do's a twapple. So you projected onto this couple that they wanted a bit of lively fun. Take the sex, I know I've said the French, but take the sex thing out. No, but you said they wanted to be a bit lively. There's a liveliness to them, yeah. And, um, because I think they're probably on their holidays.

Well, I found out later they were because... It's you forcing it. No, no, no, because one of them is in my... He sat on one of their laps. No. I have graduated to a stage where I don't accept someone sat in my, I went through a good few years of if someone sat in my reserved seat, I'll find another seat.

Yeah, I'm still at that stage. Well now I'm on the trains a lot, you see. Yeah, there was an old woman sat in my reserved seat the other day and I spent, you know, when you walk like the length of the train getting to your carriage, you're like, I've got a fucking seat on this train. And then you see it's like an 80 year old woman. I can't. Up you get love.

I hate to do this, but. I hate to do this, but then push it off the train. Frisbee a laptop down this carriage. Can I get that? She's half in, half off. The doors have closed on her. You're grabbing her by the legs. Her husband's pulling her by the arms.

As I said, I hate to do this. It's hard, isn't it? Yeah. Did you make a move? No, of course not arms. As I said, I hate to do this. It's hard, isn't it? Did you make a move? No, of course not. Same question. Harry, this French couple, did you make a move?

How did you get yourself into the mix, into the swim? No, I didn't. But I did't. Oh. But I did make the move. You just slowly lowered yourself down. Well, they had done the whole thing of like bags everywhere and kind of like, it was like they didn't understand the reservation system. Sure.

Because they're on holiday, yeah. Yeah. And... Sorry. You refused to accept that from French people or Native Americans. You should understand the nature of a reservation. So they did. Big chief sitting in my chair.

Yeah, exactly. So yeah, yeah, yeah. So they had like their bags and stuff and they're clearly bagged. It was like, oh, this is our table now. And then I came along and said, actually's my seat and then there was a bit of a yeah and then there was a bit of like a yeah okay and then plunked themselves in another reserved seat I could see was two stations away so I thought well and then that they so they were moved from pillar to post

and their reactions were increasingly like, oh, bloody hell, these English people, it's how it felt. Yeah. You've projected so much onto this couple. They're lively, they want a bit of it. And now they became increasingly, increasingly xenophobic. My xenophobia remains steadfast for the second night, laid eyes on the froggy cunts.

But I could tell they were slowly but surely turning into the demons I know they were. Then a very lively 80-year-old got on and engaged them in conversation the rest of the journey. Moved down from Annie's couch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they were chatting, Annie just moved around asleep. And then they were chatting all the way then. And so, so I learned a lot about them through and so that's quite often what I do on these train journeys is I live vicariously through someone who is going to socialise with people. Yeah, you just sort of slowly lower your boom mic down towards them. Sit there with your little headphones on like Nick Broomfield.

Just, I'm learning a lot about you guys. Just crouched next to their table. So, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, Iroomfield. I'm learning a lot about you guys. Just crouched next to their table. Tom takes a real liars of others approach to a long train journey. I had a scary exchange with some French people on a chairlift when I was skiing, when I was at a posh school and we went on a ski trip and me and my friend were in the chairlift and is that the chairlift the one where you're sort of shut in?

Yeah, the ski lifts. Not the ones where you're like that, the one where you're, it's like a bubble. Like a cable car. Oh, cable car. Cable car, yeah. Cable car. Yeah, got you. And just me, two friends, so we're like 16 or something at a time and a French man

and he pulls out a knife and we're like oh la la and then we're like this is how we die this is the end we're stuck in a cable car with a French man with a knife it's very Bond isn't it it's very 80s Bond yeah and then he gets out very eighties bonds. Yeah. And then he gets out. Some cheese. He's like, anyone have cheese? I would say lead with the baguette. Always lead with the baguette. Surely it's got that, isn't what you're thinking it's off. You take the baguette, you start to leave the door closed. leave the door closes. No, no, no, Monsieur. Brombring, brombring, brang. Japan.

Japan, Japan, do cable car. We almost ended it all in a cable car. Do you remember when we went and did the Altitude Festival? Oh, yes. We went to the Altitude Festival in... The gig hadn't gone well. But anyway, basically you do the gigs and during the day you get to go skiing and we were all, all the people who couldn't ski. So that was Papi's, it was Rob Beckett, it was Roisin Conaty. None of these people just, who would be natural skiers? Of course we couldn't ski. We went up a little bit later going up to do our ski lesson. We got given a free ski lesson

that we got to do on the nursery slopes, on the nursery slopes, but we decided to take a selfie in the cable car and we didn't realise that if you lean on the doors of a cable car they just open so we were taking a selfie leaning backwards and the door just went and it was just a sheer drop into forest below and luckily we all i mean well conaty that's why we've not seen a gig for such a long time she lives up in trena i'm just scared to tell people. She's still out on the slopes. She was wearing her skis, luckily. She just slid all the way down. Very impressive, actually.

Very impressive. Yeah, my god. My god. Skiing is like, it's the ultimate, you put yourself so close to death by doing it. Oh man. People fucking buzz off it because of that I think. Because we did our lesson and Tom was desperate to go at the slopes, but it was quite an advanced

pace. It was like a black run to do. And he was like, can we do this? And the guy was like, under no circumstances, can you do it? And then Tom was like, come on. And he convinced me to go up. You and Rob Beckett did it. And I went, and I just stayed on the nursery slope all the time, listening

to a podcast, I put my headphones in. I listened to the Mark Marron podcast and I just went up the little conveyor belt and then down and had a lovely time. And crucially still alive. Unlike Tom. I always like to say Tom's a ghost. Still alive. Did you feel alive?

I did. Because that's my life, is listening to podcasts. Yeah. I once went down on the instructor's back because I got to the top and I was like, no, can't do that. It's too scary. Like tandem skydiving.

Yeah, literally on his back with my skis and he was just. Whoa. That was evendiving. Yeah, literally on his back with my skis. And he was just, whoo, that was even scarier. Yeah. I mean, it wasn't cool. It was really uncool, but it was fun. And you traveled on a train on an old lady's back, didn't you? With my skis on, with. Posh girls going to travel in skis. You can't be too careful.

Do you ski often now? No, I haven't skied for ages. Oh yeah, okay. I'm not that posh. Yeah, okay. We only did it once, didn't we? Yeah. And I do feel like you've given the bug and then it's like, well, I'm afraid you're rich.

I'm afraid the gigs didn't go well enough. We're not getting a rebooking to Altitude Festival. Yeah. You can't do it cheaply anywhere is how it feels. Well, there's the dry ski slopes. There's like one on the way to like towards Favisham. They were way too scary for me. But you're right by the motorway. And if you always think if you sort of fly off, it's worse.

Because like if you fly off and land. Onto the hard shoulder. Exactly, yeah. If you land in a snow drift, you know, if you land in a snowdrift, fine, if you land on top of an articulated lorry, keep on going. Well, Roisin Connerty famously, still going, whoa, look the loop, landed on an Arctic, someone should film that, stick it on goals. Roisin Connerty on skis on the back of an articulated lorry.

Each week she's joined by a different guest, Richard Ayoade, Sue Perkins. It writes itself, guys. Knowing ski, knowing you. I'd watch it. I'd watch it. I'd watch it. I'd watch it.

["Skibidou"] Have you skoo-bid-doh? I have to have skoo-bid-doh. Are you stilluba dove? I have scuba dove. Are you still speaking French? It feels like a natural question to ask. Do I own scuba dove? Je suis en scuba dove. The White Cliffs of Scuba Dove.

Have you scuba dove? Yeah, I think I have once. You think you have? Like deep sea? Not deep sea, just like... Deep sea? I think you can deep sea, can't you? You can deep sea. You can deep sea scuba dove, of course you can.

Because people are always going down to like wrecks of, you know, wrecks of a ship. I don't want to do that. It'd be weird if you said, I did it once and I actually explored the Titanic. I flipped to the Mariana Trench and then I's kind of done really. Yeah. I felt like I'd sort of done it after that. Found this necklace. Have you scuba dived?

Uh, no. I like, well, no, I've done like the fanning around on the surface. Yeah. No, that's not diving. That's the opposite. Sorry. I'm swat.

I've been in a pool. Yeah. I've been in a pedal. I got a rubber brick. Like did you have an air tank on basically when you went? I think so. Yeah. That's scuba. That's scuba. Isn't it? That's what scuba stands for.

Yeah. Self-contained underwater breathing apparatus. Scuba is an acronym, isn't it? Self-contained underwater breathing apparatus. That's snorkeling. Scoob is an acronym, isn't it? Self-contained underwater breathing apparatus. Ooh, la-dee-da. Thought I was in a school, did they? No, I'm joking.

You know what I'm joking? They didn't teach you in your school. Why would they teach you Scoob at a school in Wolverhampton? I mean, what a wasted lesson that would be. Say that again. Self-contained. Underwater breathing apparatus. Great. That's great. You can have that. That's going to come up on 1%, isn't it? Or something.

I've not seen the show. What's the... We're not the 1% Tom, we keep trying to tell you. Did you get the same thrill scuba diving as you did skiing? But if you're on an instructor's back, then that's like both times. Were you scuba diving on someone's back? Yeah, isn't that how you're supposed to do it? Were you in the tank? I was riding a shark.

Is that not a scuba diving? Same ski instructor then take you scuba diving. And he was like little lucky mascot. He never got off. He didn't even know you could travel the world with this adventurer. He said, oh, this is Anna. This is quite a steep ramp here, but don't worry, there's a lake on the other side. And if we crash with the right force, this will kick off.

Yeah. Have you ever done skydiving? Would you ever do skydiving? I haven't. Would I do it? Is skydiving the one where you're just like... You can work it out. it's actually an acronym yeah there's always a parachute The extractor pulls a cord and Abby just flies off. Spins off into the, oh yeah, sorry, that's on me really. Anyway, pull the wrong cord. Weird they've got a cord to detach the person you're attached to. Yeah, I probably would do that. With enough fear pressure. The thing I'd find really hard is the jumping, right?

I think if I was there, that's the thing. Yeah. The thing like, like I did, um, I did a parasailing, which I know is not the same thing, but I loved it. And the second one, that's really, that's, that's super dangerous. It's incredibly dangerous. I didn't. So is that. Yeah. Basically it was a, yeah, it was a speedboat and you're stood on the beach and then suddenly you're in the air. Oh yeah, I nearly did that. But you can run up a hill and then the wind just takes you. Yeah, exactly.

You can do that, but it seems like... And the air bit was great. The bit that's really scary is obviously... Landing. No, even the landing was great as well. It's the bit where they're like, do you want to do this? You've got to re-force yourself. Whereas I don't feel like... Because you go from the ground up into the air,

I don't think I'd be able to do that thing. I just fall out of a plane. Yeah, I agree. Actually, I nearly did the para one in South Africa, the Paralympics. It's qualified. It's qualified by being able bodies. Yeah, yeah, sure. Typical.

No, it was too windy. And a group of four of us had agreed to do it. And I was thinking, I don't think I want to do this, but I'd agreed to it. So I was like, probably will do it. And then it was too windy and I was like, oh, such a shame. Because I had that, like the jumping thing is the problem. Cause I did my bungee jump. What is happening? Bungee jump. You bungee jump. What is happening?

I bungee jumped. You bungee jumped. I bungee jumped. So I bungee jumped in South Africa. And this was, I was only about 18. We were talking right around the time of GoldenEye. Right? No, but it was a good experience.

So someone had gotten on a laptop, and they were holding it low on the ground. You're like, oh, I do want to see that. So up down they go. So Golden Eye starts with a great big bungee jump, doesn't it? Yeah. Very, you know, cool Britannia we're talking about. So I had my England shirt on and...

Your face painted with the St. George cross. Yeah. So you could buy a video of your bungee jump. So I've got the video of it somewhere and And I rewatched it a few years ago and I've got my English shot. And I come out and I said, there's like a line in Golda which is like, for England, Jane?

Something like that. And he's like, it's for England or something. So I came out and I go like, for England! And then I bend my knees to jump. Because I'm so scared I don't jump. So I just go, for England! I just flop off. For England then I crash! Gotta go! Wait, I haven't done Scotland, Wales and Ireland as well.

Let me, yeah, and for the home counties, I'm going to mention them one by one. Like I really pictured myself launching out Brosnan-esque and instead I just scratch into a scrum. Just feet a lot. It's like a bungee fall and it's really pathetic. Very fitting though to shout for England people. Do you remember what you were thinking about as you were dropping to the ground? Just like, fuck. Were you like, I'm going quite got the... Do you remember what you were thinking about as you were dropping to the ground? Just like, fuck! Were you like, I'm going to die, this is it? No, the great sensation I'd probably like to skydive is it feels like you fall three

times because you fall the amount of the length you've fallen before and then you go, I'm still falling and then you're like, I'm still falling. And then it's like, I'm still falling. And I was like, I'm not dumb. I'm really kind of dumb. I thought you'd have some existential. Oh my God. I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling. My profound realization was that I was still falling. You fall in love with England, first of all.

I'd like to go, what I mean is to go like, I don't think I'd ever fallen enough to go, Oh, I'm actually aware that I'm falling now actually. And this is, you have time to go. You came sentience. And then what about the, the reason I didn't want to do it is the boing bit, the, does it not drive you? No, no, that bit's really gentle. But then after that, it's, it's like, it's a bit chaos because you don't really know where you are or which way.

And then you're like, I'm not falling. Which way's up. And then it's quite humiliating then because you're just dangling upside down. More humiliating than the start. Yeah, well, it starts bad and then gets worse because then you're just trust upside down. In an England shirt. And just hanging around going, can you get me down, please? And it's like, they don't have to.

They do have to. They've gone off for lunch. Sorry, they do. But like you're completely... We're leaving the O-Shows for England. They did a weird squat. We'll leave him tangling for a couple of hours. That squatty patriot over there.

Let's just leave him. It's like, you know, you're completely... You can see them playing paintball over at Arena, then move on to the next activity for the day. Yeah, where it's like, you know, you're completely... You can see them playing paintball over a arena, then move on to the next activity for the day. Yeah. Whereas like the parachute jump, you land and at least you can get up and run around and click your parachute off, do you know what I mean? Or like the base jumper's kind of getting a fucking taxi.

But with the parachute, you're attached to a person, aren't you? Not if you do it yourself. I would be. Yeah, I would be. You're an old friend. You're attached to... Is he waiting for you outside? Is that how you got here? This guy is your mate. Not if you do it yourself. I would be. Yeah, I knew it. Yeah. You're an old friend. You're attached. Is he waiting for you outside? Is that how you got here?

This guy is your big brother. He's underneath me. All right, mate. No. Big daggers, brother. Okay, that makes sense now. Shit. Did you have the immediate adrenaline

that you were like, I want to do that again, straight away? Yeah, I mean, then you're like, fucking here we go kind of thing. It's just. I'm going to do it for some other countries now. For Guatemala! But now that I'm older, I think like, the thing about sky jumping is... I love the way you talk about it like you're an expert.

Listen guys, a second ago you called it skydiving. I think it's just sky jumping. If I skydove, I'd be calling it skydiving. Sure, of course. Think about sky jumping. Bungy jumping. You've got to get your tenses right guys. So the thing about parachute jumping is if it goes badly, that feeling you would have just before you hit the ground

would be like, you absolute diller. You jumped out of a plane. Of course. And it's like, of course. We're not designed to do this. Yes, and I'd be so annoyed. I don't want to die annoyed. Yeah.

And it'd be like, you're a fucking idiot, bang, gone. Yeah. And I don't want that. So I don't know if die annoyed. Yeah. And it'd be like, you're a fucking idiot. Bang gone. Yeah. And I don't want that. So I don't know if it's, I don't know if it's worth that. How would you rather go? Um, it's a great question. Under a car, of course. I can't imagine the voice note.

Oh, I'm just absolutely, I'm so annoyed at myself. Yeah. I saw a bloke, I'm just absolutely, I'm so annoyed at myself. Yeah. I saw her, I saw her like holding up a car. I said, can I look at that for a second? I'm a fucking idiot. Can't believe I've jumped to my own death. I've jumped to my own dead, is it? Well, yeah, I've jumped to my own dead.

You're absolutely right there, Ben. Well done. Do you know how you'd like to die, Anna? Thanks for asking. I want it to just happen and I don't want to be aware of it. Like the billionaires in the submarine? You know what? That's exactly where I went as well. Do you not think they...

No, because apparently they went from the pressure being fine and then the pressure being not fine to just... In less than a second. In less than a second. Oh, they get bloody everything billionaires don't they? Yeah, that is annoying actually. A contented death. Not that I wish a painful death upon them. Yeah, I want to die a billionaire. That's a good idea. I want so you're so rich you die.

That's basically how they died, isn't it? You didn't have to carry it all, Annie. She died scrooge but ducking it, diving into a big pool of gold coins. Doving, surely. Doving. She coin dove. She coin dove to death. Oh, you've got a coin dove.

I bitcoin dove, but it was all code. I broke my neck. I don't think I want to not know I'm dying. I want to know just enough. To get the phone calls in. Yeah, I'll go through my contacts. Yeah, exactly. What are you two doing? Hello, is that Paul Boiler? You've fit me a new boiler apparently 20 years ago. Anyway, I'm under a car. I'm working my way through all my phone book.

Hi, is that taxi Aberystwyth? Hi, this is, you Tamsin Glastonbury. I think you got spoken to my wife one night in Glastonbury and shared some MDMA. Anyway, I'm under a car, I hope you're well. So I'm well getting to the tees. Oh, that's a bad phone call to get on a cum down isn't it? It's just working. I'm gonna get on a come down, isn't it? Imagine if that was a stipulation, you have to speak to every person in your phone before you go.

Oh, your name's just Mandy. Oh, I'm so sorry. Sorry. Oh, you're not the guy who did my MOT. Your name's just Paul Mott. Okay, I'm learning a lot. I'm learning a lot as I'm dying anyway. Bye.

But yeah, stay safe, isn't it? I'm learning a lot. I'm learning a lot as I'm dying anyway. Bye. But yeah, stay safe, isn't it? Stay safe out there. Yeah, it's the moral of the entire podcast is just look after yourselves. And I guess the quiet carriage is the safest carriage on the train. Sorry, what is this podcast again? I don't know. It's a great question. We haven't worked that out yet. But all we'd like to say is thanks for coming on.

Thanks so much for having me. Safe travels. Safe travels. Safe travels. Safe travels, please. Annie, thank you for joining us today. Thank you for having me. What a treat. Do you want to plug anything before we let you go?

Any big train journeys coming up? About to get the train from Sydenham to... I can't remember. Where you live. Happy to dox, Clarke, not happy to dox yourself. If you want to find out where Annie's heading, you've got to join the Patreon guys. We'll be releasing a full postcode. We've got a sort of city mapper thing, but just for Annie's movement. It's like the Elon Musk private jet thing.

We've got it just for Annie. We've geotagged you. Thank you. You're welcome. I'm about to launch series six of my podcast, Secret Artists. Whoa. So follow that at Secret Art Pod on Instagram and X. I forgot what that was called.

Yeah. And I'm on social media. Lovely. On TikTok, at Annie underscore McGraw underscore. Great. What do you do on TikTok? Put out sort of silly sketches. Very good. I follow you. Thank you.

You follow a home. I've got the geotag. Is it the same as the stuff you do on Instagram? Yeah, similar sort of shit. No, I just mean I follow you on Instagram. Do I have to do TikTok as well? You did say very disappointing. Yeah.

I really... Is it about me doing it on Instagram? It's not that... I don, uh, that's not me doing it. It's not that, I don't bother if it's that sort of thing. Sorry. Yeah. I've got to work on my tone. Is it the same with the wonderful stuff you do on? Yeah.

Great. Well, you know, you're a fantastic follower on Insta. So I'll be joining you on TikTok very, very soon. Thank you, Matt. As soon as I work out what it is. Um, and my Instagram handle is at McGraw dot, oh no, it's not fucking hell. At McGraw dot Annie. Yeah, that's it. We'll put it in the show notes for the show.

Thank you. Cut all this. Cut all the bloopers. I don't want anyone to follow me. In fact, cut every bit. Chug this episode. You know what? This episode's not going out. Yeah. Some people would say, is there anything you want to cut out? Yeah, the whole thing. I said, from the second I said hello,

to the second I said goodbye, all of that gone. Everything from the quiet carriage on this. The second I said hello, the second I said goodbye, all of that gone. Everything from the quiet carriage on this. OK, I'll take it. I don't mind it. I'm OK with that. You're happy with that. I thought Annie was absolutely brilliant, by the way,

because she just she hit the ground running. I know you've always pushed Tom for Steve Bajaya to be the unofficial fourth papi. I thought Annie was certainly up there. She's certainly in the top three. No, I thought she was great. I love chatting to Annie. She was brilliant.

She also has a very good podcast in which she paints with a guest and she said she would love to get us on one day day but she's not going to. Yeah that was very much the conversation we had. She was like oh I'd love to get you guys on but ah you know I can't I just can't I just can't be bothered. What would you do though? Would it be three men one brush? I like that. Oh that's a hell of a video by the way don way. Don't ever Google that. Lots of flesh. Yeah. What would we do? You know, that's what it would be. Three brushes, one canvas. Oh, yeah. This is all would it be for a show?

Three brushes, one canvas. Yeah. Well, you know, we'd fold the canvas over. You'd paint a little bit, fold it over, pass it along. Consequences. Yeah. Yeah. That's what we'll do. And if you're still listening, get in touch with we've worked it out. Consequences style. Yeah, I love that. That's what we'll do. Annie, if you're still listening, get in touch. We've worked it out. Get us on the pod.

Yeah, get us on your pod. Anyway, thanks for listening. And any other business, I guess, if you like what we do, get along to the Patreon and bung us the price of a coffee. You'll get a bonus episode every week, every Thursday. And you'll also get to support what we do. So please check us out. Also, I do have a tiny other bit of business. Go on then, every Thursday. And you'll also get to support what we do. So please check us out. Also, I do have a tiny other bit of business. Go on then, Clarky. We've got a TikTok account.

Oh no. www.tiktok.com forward slash. Is it Pappy's Flat Share? It's at Pappy's Flat Share. Yeah, it's at Pappy's Flat Share. It's the TikTok. Oh, God. It's our account. Oh, we've got 67 views. Wow! This is exciting.

This is thrilling. I feel like we're like Mr. Beast or Max Fosh or one of those kind of guys. Absolutely. We're making bold, brave strides into the digital revolution. It's a race against clips here. I'm over here with my YouTube and I've got 49 clips. Clark is streaming ahead. What are we talking, 70? What was it? 67. 67 bloody hell guys. Slow down. My postcards are in the post. They're second class.

They'll be with you soon. Oh, don't forget as well, we're on Instagram actually. We're sticking it all on Instagram. Papi's Comedy on Instagram, at Papi's Comedy. Shall I take Instagram then? Shall I take Instagram? No way. That's the only one that's doing well.

There's no way you're taking that. It's fallen to me. It's fallen to me. You've taken YouTube. Clarky's on the TikTok. I'll take the gram file. Tom, you barely collab on the videos that I'm putting up already. Matthew's running it. It's fallen to me. It's fallen to me. You're you. You've taken YouTube Clark. He's on the tick tock. I'll take you. You barely collab on the videos that I'm putting up

already. You did you got about a one in 10. So we all know that you're going to be putting them up on truth social. Yeah. I'll take truth. Social. This is, you know what? I love this. It's got a real Top Gear element to it. We've got someone on Instagram, we've got someone on TikTok, we've got someone on true social. Who is going to get to the finish line first? The joke's on us because as the algorithm knows, there is no finish line guys. Just keep churning out the content. And we will. And we will. It's exciting. Happy to do it.

All right. Well, support us in any which way you can. Patreon would be lovely as well. Or just recommend it to a friend in real life. In the flesh. The old social, the flesh network. Join us on the flesh network, guys. FleshTube.com. In fact, don't go there. No, no, don't go there. Today's episode was produced by Emma Corsham.

Corsham team. Corsham team. Cheers everyone. Bye. Bye. Bet MGM is an official sports betting partner of the National Hockey League and has your back all season long. From puck drop to the final shot,

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