Pappy's Flatshare - Ep 1517: is this the best impression ever?

Episode Date: May 27, 2025

We're back in your ear canals discussing toilets, snakes and the most impressive impressionsTo get episodes early and ad-free - PLUS a bonus episode every week - join our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareTo watch full episodes of Pappy’s Flatshare find us on YouTube: www.youtube.com/@pappysflatshareAnd follow us onInstagram: instagram.com/pappyscomedyTikTok: www.tiktok.com/@pappysflatshareFacebook: www.facebook.com/PappysFlatshare/And X: twitter.com/pappystweetPAPPY'S FLATSHARE SLAMDOWN, is back at the Phoenix Pub for ANOTHER Flatslam June 2nd!MONDAY JUNE 2ND: ROISIN CONATY + MILES JUPPPappy’s Flatshare Slamdown is the hilarious and anarchic panel game hosted by award-winning sketch heroes Pappy’s and featuring great guests from the world of comedy.Tickets are £11 but our Patreon members get discounted tickets (£2 off). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greetings listener dear, I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I am Matthew and welcome to a very exciting episode of Flufflaffa. Yes, you had it first. Do you feel that in coming? Yes, what I feel is I like the letters, but are they necessarily in the right order? Let's just nip all the vowels out? Welcome to Puff La Puff La.

Welcome to Pappy's Flat Share. It is, as ever, a podcast. Another one recorded in Clarky's flat. Very, very fun. Very, very giddy. Don't forget, guys, if you're enjoying listening to this, then you can always go over to our YouTube channel, which is Pi's Flat Share. You can get yourself over to our YouTube channel and you can enjoy the visual as well as the audio. You can see as well as hear what's going on. And if you've not seen the inside of Clarky's flat, oh my God, you're in for a real treat. So all of the most recent

episodes are up there currently. I want with Silly Ray B from last week and along with Sam Campbell and his uncle also there. So it's well worth going over to youtube.com forward slash at papi's flat share. It's a treat. Great. Yeah. And speaking of treats, if you enjoy what we do and you want to support the podcast, then why don't you hop along to Patreon at patreon.com forward slash papi's flat share where you can hop on the patron for four pounds a month. You get a bonus episode every Thursday. Pappy's Pop Round, which is like a really fun extra show that we do where we read a lot of listeners emails and have lots of fun features. You also get priority booking on tickets and discounts and all sorts of gubbings like that. But most of all, you get to support us in our eternal podcast journey. Throw a bit of cash away to say keep going lads.

We're going to do a podcast about the band Eternal. All we need now is the correct funding. That's all we need. So please do get along to Patreon and support. I'm going to call us your boys. Your boys. So yeah, support your boys. So do that. Don't hesitate to do it today. And otherwise, what else we got to talk about? Well, I should say this is a very exciting

episode because it's a slow build this episode. We're heading towards an absolutely huge, can we call it a party piece from Tom? It's very timely actually, because I don't know if you've seen, but last week going gangbusters on social media was what was described as the greatest impression ever done. There was an impression of Steve Coogan. Oh, right. Yeah, okay. By Kevin Bishop on the Matt Lucas podcast. And honestly, it was doing gangbusters on the internet as the greatest impression

ever done and I saw it and I thought, I thought, wait a minute, hold my beer because I knew that we had had this chat and it contains an absolute doozy. Yeah, I can't wait for this. We're really going to blow up guys. Yeah, let's get this impression trending. Let's get through this episode and then let's let the internet do the rest. So I saw a video the other day on Instagram. Oh yes. By the way, can I just tell you this, this is embarrassing. I just went to the way, can I just tell you this? This is embarrassing. I just went to the loo in your flat, Clark. In our flat. In our flat, in our flat, of

course. Yeah. Yeah. And I was watching a little interview of Lou Barlow and Elliot Smith being interviewed on Instagram. Looking at that and fell into the toilet. What? Your phone just fell in the toilet. No, I fell into the toilet. I fell into the toilet. Your phone just fell in the toilet. No, I fell into the toilet. I fell into the toilet. I was looking at my phone with one hand, I was undoing my trousers with the other hand and I went to sit down, have a sit down, we saw I could carry on watching the video. Didn't realize the seat was up. Just straight in, straight in. Yeah. All the way in. Wow. I mean, I am a little sort of borrower figure, so I can fall into a toilet quite easily. Oh, right. How close do you think you were to being stuck? Because that would have been the worst. Yeah, I think I was, I could have disappeared around that u-bed.

Banging on the door. You know that old joke about have you fallen in? I have actually. Did your cheeks hit the water? Yeah. Did your cheeks hit the water? Yeah. Oh, yeah. So I'm going home now to burn my pants.

It's been a great episode. I'm going to go burn my toilet. I do that now, though. I do. What? I lift the lid. Yeah, yeah. And sit directly on the bowl. No, no.

Not while you're in prison. I do, yeah. You don't're in prison. I do, yeah. Yeah. You don't. I do. I do. I do. Why? Why? I enjoy it, but I do enjoy it.

You enjoy the porcelain feel. Is that the coolness of the porcelain? Several things. Clarky's actually going to go and flush himself down the toilet. That's how bad Clarky's reacted to this. I can't believe you've got a bigger reaction than him falling into your toilet. You were like, yeah right. I can believe Crosby, he basically is the size of a Slovenian family. I'm surprised he managed to scream back upstream. He fell into the sink after. Yeah, yeah. Lots of reasons. Talk

us through three maybe. Yeah, okay. Like you said, the coolness of the porcelain. Yeah, gorgeous. Pleasurable. You also like to rest your head in it afterwards, don't you? Cool your fevered brow. Absolutely right. And look for you. Do you face the cistern as well? Like a cool teacher. Yeah. You smash the system as well, don't you? But also I enjoy the width and the depth that you can achieve. It's actually... Wait, can I... So you're like spreading your legs more. Yeah, really giving yourself a...

Are you crossing your legs like a Buddha on top? You can have a wider stance. Tom, by the way, you've got a huge hole in your trousers as well. I do know that, yeah. OK, that's good. I don't know, a wider stance. Tom, by the way, you've got a huge hole in your trousers as well. Oh yeah, I do know that. Okay, that's good. Don't worry, I do know that my testicles are dangling out of my trousers and that's a choice. Very big this season. Actually, now I see them, I think you should get them checked out. Yeah, I enjoy the width that you can achieve without the, I find the plastic seat narrows you're yet.

Restricting. And also, wait, are you still using the little plastic seat that your kids use, the little insect? Taking that off is not sitting directly on the floor. But even the, you know, it's quite restrictive. And thirdly, you can get your cheeks lower and your knees higher. Oh, it's better for you. It's better for posture. Yeah.

While you're supposed to. It's better for your colon. I hate that I am going to try this. Yeah. Yeah. Honestly, believe it. And I hate that we're now going to have to wait seven minutes. Seven?

Yeah. You'll be lucky. And we're back. Clark, a horrified look on his face. Clarky, hair on end. Yeah, hair completely drenched. No, no, what it should be is, woolly hat that's been burnt in the middle,

his home alone too'd himself in the toilet. You never said which way up. Why have you got an electric toilet, Clarky? Oh, the electric toilet. That was a great club, wasn't it? We used to get there all the time. So, I was watching this video. Oh, yeah, that's right.

This is, and I don't know if this is an old video or a new video, but it's a video. This is something that you will definitely have seen. It's a load of guys stood around in kind of like a, I guess like a warehouse type space. Two guys are sort of crouched in the foreground and one guy makes a sound and the other guy replicates it with his mouth. So the guy will like, he will like open a Velcro sandal and go, and the guy will go afterwards.

Those were identical. Yeah, that's good. I caught a Velcro sandal along. Get you to a warehouse, go. Afterwards. Those were identical. Yeah, that's good. What about Chrysantler Long? Get ye to a warehouse, go. And then all, you know the lingo of the kids. Get thee to a warehouse, go.

And then all of the friends behind go absolutely berserk, right? So they're like doing back flips, they're like body popping out of there and every time he gets the noise, bang on, right? So I saw this video and I thought, what noise do I think I could make? Do you think you've got a noise that you're like, oh, I could definitely do that?

I could, you know, if you gave me the noise of a man falling down the toilet and flushing and then and then yelping, if you've got a noise you think would be your noise you think you could definitely do. My party trick is my owl. Like I've got and it's like from a dad point of view, is currently blowing my kid's mind. Right. And like, my son can't believe how good an owl noise I can do. But also I have got that in my locker around like, it's good. It's an all ages impression. It's it's

fucking great, actually. And sometimes I sit on it because I don't want to be the guy who's got the best owl impression. No, yeah, yeah. It's you. It's me. It's Bill Odie. Barry just shuffles out the room. It's a premiere owl noise. When you go for a party. Other dads can't do it and I don't want to be showboating and people going, I'm going,

oh he's got his f***ing owl noise out again and all the kids are like cheering him on. Do you know what I mean? But like I do know that I've got it. It's like having this, it's like a superpower. It's a great owl. It is a good owl. So that is, but it's like, obviously that's not the same as... Yeah, the guy's not getting an owl out. No, exactly. It's not, oh,

you know, a pane of glass being dropped onto a concrete floor. Wow, that would be really... That would be good, wouldn't it? Yeah. My thing is, my problem is I watched the video and I tried to replicate all the noises and in my head, I mean- I did wonder what was going on in the bathroom. I got that splash to sound down pat, didn't I? Sorry, was my pat still in there? I'm so sorry.

I was so enjoying the experience of sitting directly on the ball that I forgot to flush. Can I just say by the way? I didn't know it was you in there. I thought it was an owl. Yeah, I mean, I've got it. I've got it in my locker. I can say it wasn't a pellet. The problem with going off the toilet, just on the toilet, is the least pleasurable experience I think I have in my day to day life. Whether

I'm using a toilet seat or not is self-fitting. Can't wait for this. What could it possibly be? A phenomenal, phenomenal run up. I just feel like you could play a game and just pause this podcast at any time Tom is speaking and try and guess the end of the sentence. And you'll never get it. Because the last sentence he said is I do a really good owl impression. What you assume was we're going to hear it, but no, he moves on to talking about toilet seats. No, no,

no. Guys, guys, guys, you've really got to stay to the end of the podcast when Tom will reveal his owl impression. This is how you keep the listeners on Tentahooks. It's behind a Patreon paywall. And I get your talents now. Yeah. And you are soaring around. Yes. Coming into land. Ours, by the way, fucking scary.

And I've- Are you sure the kids are cheering or are they screaming? I've pitched a, I thought it'd be a good horror, like a horror film, but like kind of psychological thriller about a group of, you know, students who go off to party in the woods. And one of them chucks a rock at an owl or an owl's nest or something.

Great party. Like early on in the trip. And it's basically like the Blair Witch project, but with a fucking killer owl. And this is a big fucking owl. And so you're the writer and the foley artist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm selling it as.

How do we get an owl you say? Well, no need to worry about that. Because owls are big man and they can fucking damage, they can do damage. Yeah. That's my pitch. That's the title. Owls are big man and they can fucking damage, do damage. I'm just saying, I think we should give them a bit more fucking credence.

They're like, you know, they're killing machines. Yeah. If you're a mouse. Yeah, if you're a mouse, but also I think they could do something to a small student. How small we talking? student. Don't talk me out of the role here. Parry plays the owl. I play the small student. And then the redemptive bit is when the student falls in the toilet and the owl saves him. They realise they can live together as friends. Yes, I like it. It's like the bit in Jurassic Park when the lawyer runs into the loo, except the T-Rex wipes him. I didn't like that.

Especially with his little arms. How do you manage that? Clever girl. Do you know my favourite thing about this film? What's that? I'm not in it. No, actually what could you do? What would you bring to the table?

The tree? I think there should definitely be a funky arcayla there. A sort of groovy archaela. Yeah, he's just come back from a gap year where he's been surfing. Yes. If only we knew someone who could play that part. For the audio listener, Clarky is wearing the most outrageous shirt. He's gone for it. You've absolutely gone for it. It's a real mixed message because the wallpaper suggests the cosmos.

I mean, this is what's happening in my head. Anyway, the most upsetting thing that I experience on a regular basis is the, you sit down on a, you sit down at a pitch meeting. I'm going to stop you there. It's a no. I've got the rest of the day free. Is when your back flushes a flushless toilet. When you lean back. Yeah. When you lean back too much and the sensor goes off and it flushes on your arse.

Love it. You love that. The spritz. But it's not, it's not, it's not going up, is it? It's not, it's not going the right way. Don't tell the high up. It's all coming down. It's got, it just gives it a misting. Or the butt trucker toilet's all coming down. It just gives it a misting.

I want a butt trucker toilet. It just gives it a misting. I tell you, you want to hear a noise? This is me when that happens to me. Great. It involuntarily happens all the time. Oh! I thought you were going to do the flush as well.

Give us the flush as well. I'll do the flush. You. I was really hoping for the... Give us the flush as well. Come on, you can do this. No, I mean, I'll do the flush. You do the... Yeah, right. Here we go. You do the toilet seat being lifted up because you know I'm having a good time sat straight on the bowl. OK. OK, ready?

So we'll do it as a triple, a triple whammy. Was that the cubicle door or the toilet seat? Yeah, I'm coming... There's a different duck in this shit. Yeah, I'm... The killer duck. That was me walking in, setting up my mic. Right. It was like.

Oh, yeah. That's what the guys do that crazy for the how could the noise was? Are they in the toilet? Oh, that's all the other guys in the background. Oh, what? All that kind of stuff. Breakdancing and stuff is good. I thought they were people in the public toilet. No, no, no. This is us replicating the noise and our friends going berserk cross, but crucially we don't have any friends here. The one problem with this idea is they've got eight friends. So Foley's cool now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Street Foley. That's what I'm saying, street Foley. Yeah, yeah, street Foley is cool. It's a bit like, you know, how gymnastics stopped being cool until it became parkour. Yeah. You know, and then like now street Foley is the thing. Well, speaking about street Foley being cool,

cause I was thinking this thought the other day, street food's done well for itself, hasn't it? Yeah. Fucking suddenly for something to be good, it has to be street food. Yeah. That's what a mad racket that is. It's always the thing as well.

It's like, let's take the cheapest thing that like the main thing was like, oh, isn't this great? Cause it's so cheap. And they go like, brilliant. We're going to make this really expensive now. It's the whole point of street food. Just nice sitting down somewhere warm and comfortable to eat your meal.

Not anymore. No. Like someone's come along and gone, do you know what would make this food better? You're eating it out of your hands. Yeah, with a twig basically. It's dripping all down yourself. You're eating it with a flimsy little fork in a market.

And it's like, now that's the good thing to do. And now what you've started doing is that people take over buildings, rip out the fucking restaurants to put street food in a building so you can pretend you're on a street eating food inside. Everyone's gone fucking do lally man. Yeah. And you're like, oh, we can all have different things, but that just means people are like arriving at the table at different times. Someone sat down with you that wasn't part of your party. Yeah, I don't like that. It's like, it's chaos. It's all fucking down your fucking top.

Well, it's always down your top. I don't know, that's not street food's issue. I'm just fucking gobs it all down. All I'm trying to do is sit on a toilet with the seat up and eat my chimichanga. You used to say the same thing about restaurants. You're talking with your gob open, it's all over your face, you've missed your mouth. You've soiled yourself. Oh my god, you don't know which way it's coming in or out. Street food.

That's a problem, I'd say. If you don't know which way it's coming in or out. It feels like street food's done fucking well for itself, because normally, like, in the real world, you'd go, I'm so sorry, we've got to eat street food today. Yeah, this is food you're eating. Now it's like, oh, should we eat street food as a treat? It's like, have you listened to yourself you sound fucking mad A mud nap what's that? Well, it's like sleeping in a bed, but you're in a fucking ditch great

That's what everyone's doing now. Should have a mud nap instead. I treated myself. I had a fucking mud nap That's what street food is you're in the street you're eating out your hands get a fucking grip I think that's absolutely this is it it's like you can't even have like a shower these days you've got to do the Wim Hof method yeah that's right you've got to dig a fucking trench in the Arctic and then throw yourself in in a tiny pair of speedos no thank you like guys life is hard enough as it is yeah why are we trying to play everything on like extra hard mode you've got to film yourself it's gotta be six o'clock in the morning you've got to come outside and fucking

get into something that's right the ice in there and then go on I'm gonna achieve some goals today no sit in a warm at a nice table and have some, I don't know, crabs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And again, if you... Some crab eggs. You're crabbing eggs. If you paused it before the word have some, or just afterwards have some, no one would have gone crab or eggs.

Wake up in the morning. So Tom, Tom, because this will give me my next question. Talk us through your perfect day. Tom, you're telling me you wake up in the morning, you want to sit in a warm room. I totally get that. I need to crab. Why? Why have crabs become part of it? There's something that's nice to eat sitting down, I suppose.

You can't eat a crab on the go. Although they are, they do arrive in their own dish, don't they? If you're going to eat a crab, you're often eating it out of its own kind of exorcism. I will say this, if other people hadn't already done it, there's no way I'm getting around to eating a crab. Like lobsters, crabs, shellfish. Yeah, yeah. I'm not like, in fact, fish.

No way am I if someone had said. I reckon that thing. Yeah, no, unless people had gone before with that. No fucking way am I eating that. Doesn't look particularly appetizing. It's been like I like fish is a bit like the snake in it. Yeah. And so, yeah, I think so. I don't know. I was so pleased.

I was, I, you know what? I feel quite the opposite about the fact I said yes. I said yes. And I was like, why'd I say yes to that? I was hoping we'd just be able to move on from it quite quickly because that's why I agreed with it. Yeah. I think I agree with it to be like, I don't want to interrogate it too far, but I don't think it's true. I don't understand why... Snakes are the fish of the land, we all know this. I don't understand why you're saying that.

But OK, I truly, truly wish that you hadn't. But... It came really quickly and quite emphatically. I just wanted to be there for you, man. Oh, thanks. That's great. Yeah, I guess it is a lot like eating a snake. Can we just, just for the edit, could you say eating a fish is like eating another fish? Because I think that's a clearer analogy. Eating one fish is like eating another fish. I don't know why you needed to make it about eating a snake.

Basically, guys, I should really fancy a snake right now. Have you ever had a snake? Yeah. We come down that route. Sadly no. Have you got that game for the Nokia 3310 fish? No, sorry, I always get too confused. It's not called that.

It's very, very similar. Basically the same thing. Are you thinking of eels? Well, it's the halfway house. Yeah. Is an eel a fish? We'll never know. We'll never know. Sadly, sadly never know.

So anyway, I'm sat on this toilet right now. But the point is like, at no point a lobster, like the admin that goes into eating a lobster, the admin that goes into eating a crab, no one's going, someone's got out on me. When you've got to bring out a, like, food that requires a separate cutlery, food you can't get with your traditional trio of cutlery, you know, I'm going to accept, like, obviously

as a steak, not a snake. Easy, easy, easy. You've got, you've actually, one of the few people who've got a snake knife in your cutlery drawer. Just code gathering dust. One day I'll get to use you. Isn't that a line from Breakback Mountain? I just, it'd be great, great street food.

You'll eat it like a calypso. You mean snakes again? Yeah, yeah, of course. Like a calypso, you mean? Like a calypso, that's it. Like snakes again? Yeah, yeah, of course. Like a Calypso, you mean? Like a frozen banana, you'd freeze a snake and you'd be licking on a cobra head. Kind of pushing it up from the bottom. Snake lolly? Yeah. I bet on the subcontinent they eat snakes on the street. Snake on a stick, I imagine. I bet you can get some good snake dishes. I bet there's some... You can get snake dishes on the continent, I know that.

I know people who've eaten snake. Some of my best friends have eaten snake. Well, not that. Get me over there, guys. This is why, Clarky, we're deporting you. Thank you. Yeah. We're moving you to the land of snake and honey.

The continent. The nebulous continent. All we know is it's not this continent. The thing about that, or you're talking about the cutlery, it's more other things than it is food. Hold on. Well, like with your crab, the crab arrives, the bit you can eat is less than the stuff you can't eat.

Yeah. It's more non-food than food lobster as well. It feels like a sort of reverse Meccano in that you're sort of dismantling something and the eating's kind of like a, the bit you feel really excited about is when you can pull out the bit of the claw in its entirety and yam that. But quite a lot of it, you're like, I'm just, I'm basically, is there a lot of stuff in the body of it? Or is that not, it's bits? The body they give you, if you get like a dress crab, they'll just stick stuff in the

shell of it, won't they? And you can have, but they've prepped that for you and put it back into the shell. But we were sold this kind of thing of lobsters being a treat and being like, oh, you go to a posh, like eighties movies, tortoise that you go to a posh restaurant and you eat lobster. Don't talk about tortoise because for me tortoise is like eating a fish. So the 80s movies tortoise tell us about this 80s movies

tortoise. He took cool tortoise with a sideways baseball cap with sunglasses. Skateboarding? Yeah. No. Get out of your shell, dude. He teaches the little nerd kids to be cool at school. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, a bug me in your mouth. That's the saddest episode of the Tortoise franchise, when he eats the tortoise. The tortoise wills him to do it. I'm my own bowl. It's a really weird episode. It's a really weird movie. Strange film, but good. We were told to aspire to eating lobsters in restaurants.

Yes. And then when you get to that stage in life where you think, oh, I've got my own money now, I'll treat myself to lobster. It's fucking rubbish. That was your first pocket money you spent. Three years of my paper rain I saved up. Went down to the little lobster store. I'll have that lobster.

It's like, it's awful actually. Like, there's so much shit going on with eating a lobster. It's work. It's real, it's work. It's very close to, here I go again. I'm going to wait every minute. Oh no, Clarky's got eight. It's work. It's real. It's work. It's very close to. Here I go again. Oh no, Garky's got a. It's very close to a bird. Really? The lobsters in the sky? Yeah. There's your horror film mate. The birds. It might have been done already. Very close to an insect. Really?

It is. It's like a big, it's like a big scaled up. Yeah. Like in Australia, they have mud crabs. If you had those, the mud crabs that are like big. Next to my mud bed. It's my perfect day really. This is where you got it from. Get into my mud bed. It all makes sense now. I'm a lovely mud crab.

But yeah, they're like, they look a bit like lobster tails, like kind of big, creepy crawly kind of, they look like big cockroaches basically. Delicious. If it blew your, like if lobster meat had some kind of taste that was like, f*** it out, then I'd understand it. But actually when you do get to the lobster meat, it's all right. It tastes of butter, which is the thing you're eating is something that's covered in butter. Yeah. But it's like, it hasn't got enough going for it to go like, here's a fucking flavor that's worth the fucking tunneling. You know, where are you getting your lobsters from? Are you going pot-holing to get lobsters? Because I don't think those are lobsters.

Lobster pot-holing, yeah, that's why they call it that, right? Lobster pot-holing. Yeah, lobster pot why they call it that, right? Lobster pot hole. Yeah, lobster pot hole. Tom, you've eaten a mole. Oh. The lobster of the ground. But yeah, anyway, you know what I'm saying. Street food can do one, lobsters can do one.

Yeah, yeah. Two, right. And on both fronts, scampi and chips in a restaurant, better than both. I'm saying street food can do one, lobsters can do one. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. Two right. On both fronts, scampi and chips in a restaurant, better than both. And scampi's pretty much, that tastes better than lobster, I think. Yeah.

That's quite, I've only had lobster about twice. Are we just scumbags? That we're like, scampi and chips, better than lobster. Better than any of that foreign muck. I go into a curry house, order scampi and chips. I say, leave your ball ball to thank you very much. Keep your fucking snake masala mate. Oh, wait, get me in there. The other thing about the street food is the fiddliness of all of it.

You've got, you've got the paper plate. You've got the single flimsy little napkin. You've got the wooden spoon. The second it goes in, or the wooden spork, second it goes in. Oh yeah. The amount of times you're eating one of those and you come up and you're like, Oh, what are the prongs gone? Somewhere in my system. I don't know where it is. Yeah.

There's a prong in there. This snake was extra crunchy. I thought it was a vertebrae. I thought it was a snake, delicious snake vertebrae. But no, it's a bit of wood. Tasted so good. Felt so prong. Yeah.

So prong it's right. So prong. Yeah. So so prong, it's right. So prong, it's right. Because the other day I was in a restaurant, right? Like a cafe, right? It was indoors. The conventional way to do it. What's wrong with that? I'd I'd it was breakfast. I'd ordered, you know, yogurt with a bit of granola on.

And they gave it to me and they just gave it to me in the pot. It was in like, you know, like just like a little plastic pot and I said I can have a spoon and the guy went ah yeah okay and he turned around and he knelt down and then opened a small cupboard and then was like rifling around in the back of it and I was like what is going on here what you're selling yogurts and spoons aren't just like there and he brought out honest to goodness it looked like a doctor's tongue depressor and he went there you go and I said have you not got a spoon like a real spoon he went oh yeah they're there I was like well tell me that first mate what what did you think I was asking for I'm gonna I'm gonna sit there in that chair over there and do my work and eat my yogurt. Why were you giving me a fucking like it just a little plant-

Like a lollipop stick? Like a big flat lollipop stick that was probably made of cardboard. Why? Do you not think I can handle it? I'm not about to get on an international flight and I'm you know gonna take the pilot down. Not too small for a spoon. I don't fall down toilets. Oh no. Oh dear. Yeah, I did have to just rescue you from the eubens so I don't think it's better. He was hoping you'd use it as a buoyancy aid. That was the trade he was carrying your yoga on the table on. But yeah, I'm with you on that. You just think it's, also we're sitting outside

and it's freezing, but don't you worry. We've got a three bar heater that we've got here above your head that is just blasting one side of your face. So you're shivering. Five of you are gonna be cold. One of you is gonna get a sunburn. One of you is gonna be absolutely roasting. One of you is gonna be cooked better than the street food.

Cook better than your roast snake, exactly. Yeah. You wouldn't, this is a little on the rare side. You wouldn't mind it popping, popping it up on the patio heater would you? Did you bring that with you? We don't sell that. And whoa, what's that on top of that patio heater? Oh, here we go. Is it an owl? OK, that's the steam train. Now do the owl. I don't want to say all the other dads are thick. I think that's a terrible outland impression.

I was really feeling the pressure. Yeah. You bottled it, mate. That was our big... That was the thing we were working up to, mate. That was the big out. Well, anyway. Fix it in post. Yeah, there you go. There it is. We'll clip that up.

Will we now? Which bit? We'll have to clip up something. We will. We will. No, listen, that's absolutely, it's a very good point Tom makes there. We'll have to clip up something. We will, we will. No, listen, that's absolutely, it's a very good point Tom makes there. If you're not already following us on TikTok, if you're not following us on Instagram or

YouTube, you can see clips of the show. So even if you don't want to commit to watching a whole episode, you can at least watch a few little clips. And, and yes, there will certainly be some clips from that episode just gone because... It's strange to be saying this at the very end of an episode as well because these are the people who are in it for the long haul. That's a good point. We really should have done this at the start.

But for you long haulers who are in it till the very end, share those clips, get them out and about. Let's get flat share trending. You know, we were all gonna say it. So, do things still trend? Feels like they do. Anyway, I've said enough. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Do you get in touch though to tell us

if things still trend? Please do. Don't forget, it's pappysflatshare at gmail.com, it's patreon.com forward slash pappiesflatshare and find us on all socials. We would love to see you over there. But for now Tom, sign us off. Well today's episode was produced by Macaulsham, Corsham team. Cheers everyone indeed.

Bye.