Pappy's Flatshare - Ep 1520: Ania Magliano

Episode Date: June 17, 2025

We're back in your ear and eye canals with special guest Ania Magliano. We're keeping young, finding peas, and getting in trouble at schoolAnia Magliano - https://aniamagliano.com/To watch full episodes of Pappy’s Flatshare find us on YouTube: www.youtube.com/@pappysflatshareAnd follow us onInstagram: instagram.com/pappyscomedyTikTok: www.tiktok.com/@pappysflatshareFacebook: www.facebook.com/PappysFlatshare/And X: twitter.com/pappystweetPAPPY'S FLATSHARE SLAMDOWN, is back at the Phoenix Pub for TWO Flatslams on May 27th and June 2nd!WITH SPECIAL GUESTS...TUESDAY MAY 27TH: NATALIE CASSIDY + LEAH DAVISMONDAY JUNE 2ND: ROISIN CONATY + MILES JUPPPappy’s Flatshare Slamdown is the hilarious and anarchic panel game hosted by award-winning sketch heroes Pappy’s and featuring great guests from the world of comedy.You can buy tickets for either show or use this special link to buy ONE DISCOUNTED TICKET THAT GETS YOU INTO BOTH SHOWS! Tickets are £11 (£19 for both) but our Patreon members get discounted tickets (£2 off). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greetings listener dear, I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I am Matthew and welcome to a very exciting episode of Pappy's Flatshare. It is an exciting episode. The three of us got together, Dawn's La Flat and welcomed one of our fave, well recurring guests now, Madame Agnane Magliano. Absolutely. Clarky, do you want to give her name a go? Because last time we had it, we had a lot of sport with you doing your, doing your level best. We did. You've got it by now.

Oh, I've definitely got it. I've definitely got it. So there's no need to test. No, there's no need to test. It's actually it's pronounced John Kearns, isn't it? test. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, slash flat share where for just price, Pappy's flat share for the price of just a coffee a month. You can get a bonus episode every week and you can sleep safe in the knowledge that your boys are remaining on their journey for the rest of their lives. So that's I guarantee. I guarantee to you is you keep patroning. We'll keep podcasting. Absolutely right.

And why not? It's nice to have a life goal, isn't it? And the life goal now is to die as quickly as possible. Race to the finish line. I've finally found my purpose. So do please. And also if you enjoy this episode, you can watch it on YouTube.

Go to youtube.com forward slash at Pappy's Flat Share. And you can see not just this episode, but all of our live flat share slam downs that we've been filming recently and some other previous guest episodes. There's the fantastic one with Celia AB. There's the wonderful one with Sam Campbell and his uncle Paul.

So they're all available on YouTube. You can go over there or you can just watch clips on Instagram or on TikTok. Fantastic. Absolutely right. But don't just watch it. Watch out for oncoming traffic if you're laughing too hard and closing your eyes whilst listening to this. So stay safe, enjoy the episode and we'll see you on the...

We will, no Tom, we were all worried about that intro but it turned out great. Yeah, thank you. I know, it was wasn't it? So yeah, do stay safe, do watch out and enjoy this episode with Andy Magliano. Pappy's Flat Share Talking about whatever. Pappy's Flat Share Have we been doing this forever? Pappy's Flat Share

But we don't really live together. Happy's flat share. Yeah. I'm a bit worried about that I'm going to age out of this thing that I'm young. Yeah you do. Yeah, yeah. I'm so sorry. And it comes at you quite quick as well.

I hate to break it to you. It is a real wound whether it's no longer your thing. We're just on the cusp of our not being young anymore. It felt for ages, we were always like, are you guys at university? We were like, told that low. You served me a math year. You're fresh out of university. We're like, no, we've been, you know, like we'd like 26 now. We're like desperate to get rid of that. And then suddenly it was like, oh, now you're old doing it.

Are you a university being professors? Yeah. Are you hanging around universities? Yeah. You were mature students, the worst. Did you have mature students who would drink in the student bars and be like, what are you doing here? You're 38. I kind of understand it now though. Now I'm like, oh, I'm feeling a bit unsure about my life. Maybe I should go back and do an anthropology degree. I bet they were 27. You're like, oh, you sad, but I imagine you're 27. Yuck.

But also they would have always read the materials. So it'd be like, they'd come in and go, I thought Moby Dick was really interesting and I want to talk about it. And it'd be like they come and go I thought Moby Dick was really interesting I want to talk about and you'd be like you fucking square we were out last night we haven't read Moby Dick we can blag our way through it no no I'm interested to join this discussion which is what you'd be there you go back and you'd be like oh great we get to talk about interesting books would that be what you're like oh Oh yeah, yeah. I'm not wearing a backward baseball cap. I'm not gonna be.

What's up fellow kids? I feel like, I don't know, it could go one of two ways. I think, you know, the intention would be, I'm gonna do it right. And then I think, oh, maybe I could be the kind of cool older guy on camera. I think that's what would be going on. That famous type.

That famous. Maybe I could be the first archetype. Maybe I could get, yeah. I could be one of those guys who buys a leather jacket in their late forties and it actually works. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or you'd just be under the misapprehension. You'd be like, I basically look the same as everyone. They wouldn't know. I've got that. I've got that really badly. Do you? Yeah. Yeah. I don't think I look my age at all and it's terrible. I've got that. I've got that really badly. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think I

look my age at all and it's terrible. I'm sort of, I'll see people who are like in their twenties and I think, Oh yeah, I sort of look a bit like, yeah, we're basically the same. I still basically look a bit like, like those guys. I've got eyes. I've got eyes and a mouth and a nose. Barely. I've got such deep sunken eyes that have got a thousand yards. But they're there. How many years do you think you've got left of being young? I'm honestly like, I reckon two. Yeah. Join us.

I don't think you'd skip right to us. Someone would have gone seriously wrong. Because she's crossed the middle. I really hope there's a middle ground, no offence. Are we moving out of the middle ground? We are, aren't we? You're not elderly. Thank you, thank you very much. Can we clip that up?

Is that possible? We've got everything we need here, thank you. Send it to the BBC. How old are you now? Are you prepared to say on camera? Send it to the BBC. How old are you now? Are you prepared to say on camera? 27. You're 27. So you reckon 29, you're going to be like, that's it.

I guess 30. When you're 30, you start being like, I'm 30. Yeah, that's what I mean. The old cliche. The old cliche. You're not going to be the first archetype there. I tell you what, this is a fun game, OK? I'm going to give you an age and you tell me what that person would say in relation

to their age. Okay? All right. Start with an easy one. Yeah. 19. I'm 19. Yeah.

You know, this is a good format. Yeah. This works here. I'm still a teenager. Oh, do people still, are there people, are there 19 year olds going, oh, I'm not going to be a teenager for much longer? I think 19 wants to be in 20. I'm nearly 20. Let's go with that.

Yeah. I think you'd say I'm nearly 20. Is the problem with age in that you spend all your younger years wanting to be older and then suddenly... Do you ever reach the age? By the way, the oldest man thing I've ever heard. You'll understand this about you when you get reach the age? By the way, the oldest man thing I've ever heard is Oh, that's the thing with age You'll understand this about him when you get to ride on his chair

I'm basically one of you Father time over here Don't wish your life away young sprite Early 30s you want to hold on to for a long time I think You hold on to early 30s until 36 I'm still hanging on to my early 30s and I'm 45 You go from, I don't think you say I'm in my mid 30s until you're 36, 37. You shuffle that down. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So what am I early 20s? You're mid 20s. Mid to early 20s. I'm going down. You're very, very late teens. I'm a late bloomer. Yeah. You're a 20 very late teens. Yeah. You're a 20 something 20 something does a lot of work. If you have a 20 something 20 something 29 year olds use 20 something. I don't think it kind of give it away. I think you're giving it away. Yeah. The other day I've just forgot my age and I said, I'm 20.

You can't forget it that much. I honestly, I was in a situation where I was really taken by surprise and I said, I'm 20. And then about three minutes later, I was like, Oh no, I'm not. I had that the other day in the skate park. I just forgot my age. I said, yeah, yeah, I'm 18. Anyway, watch me do this, Ollie. What was the content?

Why were you so rattled by someone asking your age? Were you feeling in a form or something? What's going on? It was a question from someone that I respected. And it took me by surprise. Not on this podcast then. I'm feeling very relaxed here. You couldn't have looked more relaxed when I asked how old you were. Oh yeah, I'll answer that.

Have we started? I don't know. Have we started? It's your podcast. Yeah, we started. I think we were. I think we finished actually. Okay, great. I'm very happy with that.

This was a clip. You got me to come do a clip. Come do the one clip. I'd love to do one clip. I've started rounding up. I've said it... I recently have said it several times. I'm 45 and then I've clocked myself and was like, I'm not yet.

What are you? I'm 44. But I'm 44. I'm 44. I'm 44. I'm 44. I'm 44. I'm 44. I've said, I recently have said several times I'm 45 and then I clocked myself and was like, I'm not yet. What are you? I'm 44. But I'm 45 in December. You're a very believable 45. Started rounding up. Yeah.

I think 44 is such a good age because I think that's what I remember my dad being. Yeah. That was like my dad's 44 and he's sort of got a job. He still does, but like... I would say that's the problem here because yes, Tom may be 44, but there's just a tiny little bit at the bargain. He hasn't quite got his hands around. Well, I think... He's 44 and he's a podcaster. That's a slightly sadder proposition. That's a sad start to the diary entry. That's a slightly sad proposition. That's a sad start to the diary entry. Dear diary.

Just found out dad's a podcaster. Yeah, 40. Yeah, I round up. I don't know why I've started doing that. It's not for Kudos. Do you like the number five? I like the roundness of it. I like that you go, you know, I'll stick to 45 until I'm 50.

Just do it in chunks. Yeah, I like that. Oh, so what, instead of being 41, 42, you go 40, 45, 50. To be honest, I do think that a lot of the mid numbers are a bit of a faff. Yeah. Once you hit 35, it's a bit of a mush, to be honest. 23, it was a waste of a faff. Yeah. Once you hit 35, it's a bit of a mush to be honest. Yeah. 23, it was a waste of time.

Yeah. Forget that, bin that off. We could bin off a load of ages, I think. Yeah. I think they're probably more, the higher you get, the more you bin off. So when you're younger. So what, when you're 80, you're 100? No, you're 80 till you're 90.

And it's like, yeah. Yeah. If you make it that long. She's 80. And then she're 90. And it's like, yeah. Yeah. If you make it that long. She's 80. And then she's 90. Yeah. Great. I don't think you need the in-between bits.

Is this just a way of like not having to see people all the time? You don't have to go to any birthday parties. I'll see you in 10 years time. You'll be 90. No, I've said this before and I'll say it again. I'm happy to be in off lots of birthdays. Like my own birthdays now, until they're landmarks, I'm not interested. Oh yeah.

I don't want to put other people through my birthdays. I don't get anything from my birthdays. It's like- In fact, it's bad when people do stuff. They're like, what do you want to do for your birthday? Why? Because I'm 43. Like, no. Have a house party, I think. You'll learn. I love having parties, but in theory, and then they happen and then I'm like, oh, this was a really bad idea. I've had an awful night because I've spent the whole time asking everyone else if they're

having fun. Yeah. Right. That's the reality. All day, you're getting text messages from people who are saying, oh, sorry, won't be able to try and make it after the three other parties I'm going to that I clearly value way more than you. Yeah. Yeah. And there's that horrible bit when the party's officially started, but no no one's there and you're like no one's gonna turn up

This is so embarrassing. Yeah, it just this house looks bad Yeah We're about to put it you know, like we're about to move out and then a couple of people arrive and then that's worse Cuz now it's a poorly attended party You can be you know you and your partner panicking in in the house is fine, but like you and your partner and another couple panicking in the house. That's it. Who've come that they're like, oh. Didn't you start drinking too much? Didn't you start panic drinking? I mean, I've too many people have turned up. That's why.

What is this? Where's everyone going to go? Where's the overspill? Why should I have hired that warehouse? I'm really, I can't go on board with any of this. What was the last party you hosted? I hosted a birthday party this year where I rented out a cinema, which was, I thought quite a stress free. I thought that would be quite a stress free because I had a small screen, 27 people.

What did I show? Yeah, did you show one of your specials? I showed one of mine. That's so kind of you to say. I showed my Chortle final on repeat, two hours, and I got notes from everyone and I'm really looking forward to entering again. I showed. You invited 27 people because it was your 27th birthday?

No, I didn't even think of that. Whoa. Fuck, I'm going to have to send a message to the WhatsApp group now. I've screened Katz the musical, original London West End recording. Oh, wow. Is that Elaine Page? None of you know what to say. No, yeah, very confused by that.

Why? Because I watched it every night as a child when I was like two. Oh, you're having a breakdown? Yeah. Oh, yeah're having a breakdown. Yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I've had a hard time. So yeah, I did get a reform, but yeah, I know you're having a breakdown. Yeah, it was quite expensive. You couldn't handle the fact you were turning 27 or turning 28 or whatever it was and you were like, I'm going to go back.

Well, no, it's one of, it's just one of your favorite things and you want to put it on. So it was probably a mix of the two. I think I was like, I want to have a party, but I don't want the stress of like everyone standing in a bar. What if everyone's watching a film? Because I really like when you're with friends or watching, talking over a film, but it has to be a film that doesn't have any plot, which Cats the Musical really comes through in that regard. It's completely talk overable. You don't miss anything. And people actually, basically I was sitting in the cinema with friends and people would talk, people would make jokes.

People would ask me what was happening. I'd say, don't worry, you've not missed anything. Absolutely nothing's happened. At one point Laura Rocote asked if one of the cats was a mouse. That got a huge laugh. And when you watched it a second time, were people sort of going, Oh good, because I had a thought, I didn't say it that time. I'm going to do it. I'll wait for it to come back around.

Wait, we didn't watch it twice. I think you said you had it on repeat. Oh no, that was my joke about my Chor Tor final. I see. Sorry. Yes. I'm old. Cats musical, you got to watch it nine times.

You made people watch cats twice for a musical. Cat's a musical, you've got to watch it nine times. Yeah, that's playing on repeat as well. Ginny, you made people watch Cat's twice for a birthday. That's Ginny. That's what I thought was a breakdown. I thought you were like, somebody's just going to sit in a room. We're going to go twice through. Cat's just going to keep playing until everybody leaves. Like a modern art exhibit. A Yoko Ono exhibit.

But hardly everyone left halfway through the first show. One person did leave halfway through. She had to go to her own gig, which I did think that was fair enough. That I did allow. But honestly, people loved it. I think it's a great way to do a birthday party. Yeah. And then we went to the pub afterwards and everyone said that was fun. And you got something to talk about. Yeah, exactly. That's what I thought. It's because I think going to a party where there's no common thing to talk about is actually like not as good as going to somewhere where it's organized fun. And then you can at least be like, oh, we've all got to do this bit

of organized fun now. Yes. Have you seen cats? It's like, yeah, it's like a sort of a team away day. Yeah. Then that's what I want my birthday. Yeah. It's either build a raft out of these old cans. Particularly when your only conversation starter in life is, have you seen cats? Cats. Which is yours. So to make sure that your time in the pub afterwards is enjoyable, you just make sure

everyone has watched cats and that you have seen cats. Question mark? And in the pub, they're playing cats, right? On the screens. Oh, if only. They didn't have that, but in the cinema, there was like a bar area in the cinema and they put the cat soundtrack on for us afterwards. It was awesome. Yeah. Speaking of organized fun though, I'm trying to organize a sports day for this weekend. Ooh, okay.

I guess I love hosting stuff. Yeah, it turns out you do. But I hate it as well. I did that for one of my birthday. I was gonna say. Did you? Did a sports day in the park. Yeah. And there were so many injuries. Really?

People had to be, we had to like, evacuate. That's because everyone's in their 40s. This is young people, they'll be all right. That's true. They'll need to treat people. It really felt like that. This is mid-20s. It really felt like, oh, okay, I can't ever do this again.

Because that, but it really felt like. I think you're into a lot more admin immediately hosting a sporting event. What are your plans for it? And if they don't involve the phrase St. John's ambulance, you're in trouble. I'm hoping St. John's ambulance will race. We'll get a few St. John's ambulances.

They'll race across the pitch. St. John's ambulance versus the Red Cross. We've got to be talking. We've got to be talking rounders. Oh, I hadn't actually thought of rounders. That's what I kind of was thinking. More games like no rounders is a game in itself, I think. Yeah, that's all that's like a sports day is like egg and spoon.

Three legged. Find the P. Find the what? Find the P. Yeah, find the P. Stacker mattresses. I thought you might catch me out on that one. What's find the P? So my friend, one of my friends hosted a sports day a few years ago, which is what gave me this idea.

And he had the same friend who had the cat's party about four or five years ago, wasn't it? But she only made the much she wants. Yeah, I had to go hard. One of the ship every time. That was a mistake. And this year we're going to be finding a lot more peas. Let's find the bag of peas this time.

He came up with this game, which was he just scattered some peas in a, um, in a square and then everyone had to find as many peas as they could. That's good, man. I like that. Yeah. It's actually like, that's one of the ones where it's like, start with something silly. Yeah. There can be Tom on this one. I'm sorry. I'm going to, I'm going to lean in the opposite direction and say, I'm sorry, what the fuck? What's your question?

Do you have to like take them out with chopsticks or something? Oh no, you pick them up with your hands, fingers, which are like chopsticks, I guess. Nature's chopsticks. Is that how you understand your fingers? Nature's chopsticks. Pick them up with your fingers, put them in a cup. Are we talking about like three year olds, four year olds? No, we're talking mid to early twenties. I'm out. Really? You don't want to find P? I don't want to find P's in a square.

How big's the square? Pretty big. So you're talking like a geography field trip? Oh no, probably about as big as like a square that's medium. So, okay. I have a big medium one. It's quite big. I'm back on board. Geography field trips where you used to chuck a square on the ground and you'd have to document what was inside the square. That is more fun than what you've just described, which is going to a square and pick up peas. I wouldn't mind a geography field trip as a birthday. That's quite a good idea. That was great. Go to some Widlands.

Go to some Widlands? Widlands? Some Widlands? Where's some Widland? Is that in Sweden? Some Widland, welcome to some Widland. Is that, wait, is it some Widland's day already? No, some Widland.

Oh my God, we've got to check, we've got to check what Ports of Tony Phil's done. Happy some Widland's day. That's when one day was set, isn what Ports and Tony Phil's done. Happy St. Woodlands Day? That's when one day was set, isn't it? St. Woodlands Day. It's all set on St. Woodlands Day. Get too old for this shit. Okay.

So we're going to the woodlands. Go to the woodlands. Yes. Did I say it again? Did I really say it again? It was closer, but it was pretty much the same. Still not there. Try swapping out the i's for a couple of those.

Now, is this Woodlands in the Midlands? Is that. Try swapping out the eyes for a couple of those. Is this Woodlands in the Midlands? Is that what you're going for? Is it because you're from the Black Country? Yeah, that's it. Have a little, you know. Say it one more time. Try it one more time. Go to the Woodlands.

The land in the woods. The Woodlands. And yeah, you know, find a bird. Is that, was that? Wait, fucking hell. This is so bad. Is that, was that? Wait, wait. This is so bad. Did you go to school? One of the worst party planners in the history of the world.

Find a pea, find a bird, watch cats. Jesus Christ. This is how we find out you never went to school. You find a bird. It tracks. You find a bird in the woods. The guy can't say woodlands. Go to the woods, find a bood.

Pardon? It's the worst Scandi drama I've ever watched in my life. Someone's got to get murdered. But I was going to say, if you're putting a square on the ground and the thing in the square is a bird, that's not the ground. I don't like that. You know, a few different things. Kind of like you get a list of... Oh, like a kind of bingo thing. Again, we did that for my four year old's birthday. Like what we're describing here is like that find a pig. Do you not think there's something in sort of finding that childhood

joy and curiosity in life and returning to it? Uh, I think as a last ditch, like, you know, I think like last case scenario. That's, that's, that's only as part of a company. I think it's like last case scenario. I'm going... Like... You're what? I'm saying when you're in your 80s or 90s. Last case scenario. This is bucket list stuff. And by bucket list, we mean put a bucket on the ground for limipeds. When I'm in like my late 80s or 90s, it's like, yeah, wheel me to the window and make me point at birds.

Put a fucking saucer in front of me and tell me to pick up a pea because it takes me 10 minutes. Put a bullet in the back of your head. Whilst I'm in my 20s or 30s, thank you very much. You're not in your 20s or 30s. That's like, I reckon you're not. Well, someone's just lost their invite. Well, someone's just lost their invite.

So God, sorry, you're going to play. Fine. Oh, please. Don't let me go back to the weeds with you, mate. The weeds play, find a bird. Thank you. Find a board. Is there is it is it timed? Is there a bird? No, thank you. Find a board. Is it timed? Is there a time challenge? There'll be a time limit to it. So it's a bit like the end of the crystal maze where you've got to grab the money. I haven't seen that, but I imagine they reference Find the P. They use Find the P as a reference.

It feels like a sort of very small scale traitors mission. It's got something along those lines. You're kind of working together. Yeah, I like it. I think it sounds like how are you working together? Find the P because you're in teams. You're in teams. You're in that together. You're not still working together. Is it like I'm speaking up a pair? I'm going to go grab that P there. You're picking up. Yeah, you put it in the same cup. Yeah, you put it in the same cup. Have you heard yourself? Christ alive. Why is it winning me over? Do you know what I do? Stick two peas up my nose.

Hit the table. Everyone gets a piece. Everyone gets a piece. So I don't know what other games I will have, but I'm quite open to ideas. If anyone has any ideas. Okay, pea and spoon race. Pee and spoon race. They should all be pee related.

Basically I've got some peas I've got to get rid of. I'm working backwards from that. Tug of war. Oh yeah, this is the thing, I don't have a big rope though. So it's gonna have to be peas. It's gonna have to be. Tug of peas?

What about? You've got a bag of peas. Peas of war. Work together as a team to pull the bag of peas. So if you, do you have a small rope You've got a bag of peas. Peas of war. Work together as a team to pull the bag of peas. So do you have a small rope for the three legged race? I have a shoelace. Oh, for the three legged race?

No, so I haven't planned anything other than the peas. I think what we're learning here, I think you want to get a big rope. Is there a rope shop? Skipping. Oh, I do skipping. I did skipping this morning. They are like. On a rope.

But big, big skipping. It's supposed to be meals. Big skipping. See how many people you can have skipping simultaneously. That's really, oh, I'm going to need a huge rope. Yeah. Where's rope shop? Where's rope shop?

Where's rope shop? Google, where's rope shop? Quick and quick. Hey Siri, where's rope shop? Where's Rope Shop? Where's Rope Shop? Where's Rope Shop? Google, where's Rope Shop? Quick and quick. Hey Siri, where's Rope Shop? Where's Rope Shop? Have you got Alexa here? No. Unlock your iPhone first.

Oh. Here we go. Hey Siri, where's Rope Shop? You don't have any contacts sharing their location in the Find My app. Oh, unlucky. Yeah, a bit embarrassing to find out my social pariah. This is why I can't have parties. Oh, unlucky. Yeah. A bit embarrassing to find out my social pariah.

This is why I can't have parties. Big skipping. Big skipping. I'm big on board with big skipping. Great. Yeah. Big skipping. Great. You can spend a good half an hour doing a big skip. Capture the flag. Yes. That's quite fun. That's one my friends suggested.

It depends on the site, I suppose. Do you need, do you need, dare I say it, Widdland? Yeah, my planned site is Victoria Park, which definitely does have a tree or two knocking around in it. Yeah, it's massive. That's a big place, yeah. Yeah. And sorry, just to get, what's the date of the Victoria Park?

Saturday. Six days time. This Saturday. Do you want to come? Please come. We're free. It's just going to be us four. Can we bring our kids?

It's just going to be you three. 18 bags of peas. You can bring your kids. So my friend who organised this a few years ago did it for all his friends and their kids. They were about two kids and about 40 adults. And I think the kids got quite upset. Yeah, a lot of injuries. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I haven't organised it very, I already tried to organise it a couple of weeks ago and then couldn't organise it in time. So I've moved

it to this date so I can't organise it again. So it has to happen. And so far I don't know anyone who's coming. No one said yes. So it's going to be you trying to do a three-legged race with yourself, holding a bag of peas. I'm going to have to use one of my arms. Tie myself up like a chicken. Just trust up in the centre of Victoria Park. All the people doing park crime going, is that girl all right? Should we stop? Is she in trouble? That's how I get them in. She just escaped a kidnapper.

Yeah. Anyway, I'm quite, quite worried about that now. Yeah, you should be. You really should be. To some lonely people who I could get to do it. Comedians. Yeah, that's what I thought. Surely you feel like... Hmm.

Could you tell people it's a pilot? That's such a good idea. That's the way to do it. Wait, guys, have you seen Audition? I'm not sure about this. Yeah, it's like an. That's such a good idea. That's the way to do it. Wait guys have you seen audition? I'm not sure about this. Yeah it's like an office run through. What's audition? The movie audition. I haven't seen it. Okay don't. It's a good idea. Don't worry about that. Do they play rounders in it? No no but Ben the reason it's called audition is because it's based on the idea of auditions. I think if you hear Audition, you don't think, oh, it must be a horror movie version of it.

Oh, that's why I never get any parts. I've never turned them into an audition. I'm not showing up to that. I'll use cheese on my feet. What about? But yeah, that's it. You could... Yeah.

I think another way you could go is offer a cash prize. You go, we're having a sports day day, 75 quid to the winner. That's what would that be? No one said anything in the WhatsApp group two days later, guys, it's going to be 150 pounds cash prize if you show up. I'm not above paying you to be my friends. Or like, think about like, is there people you could ask to donate prizes? And then it's like there'll be prizes. That's a really nice idea.

People donate prizes and everyone wins a prize. Maybe this should be a pilot. Zeppatron are going to be all over this. like prizes. That's a really nice idea. This should be a pilot. Zepetron are going to be all over this. Yeah. This feels like, I feel like, you know, comedians doing sports day. Surely somebody's doing that. Surely. Well, Alex Horne. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. To a tennis taskmaster.

Should I say this is a new season of Taskmaster. It's open audition. Yeah. And I'm casting it. Yeah, there you go. Do you do escape rooms and things like that? I do. I hadn't done them for ages. I was quite critical of them without having done one.

And then when I supported Ed Gamble on tour, he took me to my first escape room and we, I had so much fun that we came out and instantly went in again and did a different one. Wow. It was electric. Like watching cats. Yeah. You've got to do it twice. Got to double up. You got to double. Do you like escape rooms? I've never done an escape room. Have you not? Never. No. You're kind of doing one now in a way. I mean, I'd be, I think I'm up for it, but I just don't think I've ever been in a situation where- In a friendship group. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So we go on them all the time, don't we? Yeah, absolutely. We've done loads, us three. Yeah, always. Yeah. Get out the pee, oh no. Well, with the first time, I used to do them a lot. I used to do them, like pre-kids I did a lot of escape rooms, and the first escape room we did with our friends, they had to come in to us like about

10 minutes in and go, guys, this isn't even the escape room. You're in like the sort of an empty room before you get into the escape room. You've been like looking for clues all over the walls and like you've been taking posters off the walls and stuff. This is just the room where you sort of go in. There's a key on the, that key locks that, unlocks that door and inside there is the escape room. You've wasted 20 minutes of your 50 minutes that you've got. So you really have to get a move on. We were just so like, we got really in our own heads.

Everything must be a clue. You go to escape rooms and there's, there's so many rules that are purely based on people who have overthought things like, please don't take dismantle the furniture. Yeah, yeah. So stop taking these off the wall. None of the clues are like glued to the wall in a way that you're going to have to yank them off. You know, opening the staff up.

Yeah. I went to one with someone where they found a book of baby names and they were just obsessed with it and they took it round with them all over and it's like it's nothing to do with that but you just put down the book please. Yeah you really think and also you can see from previous people who've like it's always those book of baby names like got loads of pen marks in it from other people who've like smuggled in a sharpie and they're like right I'll make this make this note here and they've had to like score it out because people are. Yeah it sounds too intense for me. It does bring out a really intense side of me, I've found.

Like, I think it's quite a fun activity to do, but I really turn in there. I get quite like, don't fucking mess this up, like we've got to go. Yeah. It produces quite a bad energy from me, I think. Is it ever better than just being in a pub? Yeah, I think so. I think it's my question for a lot of these things. Because it's, you're so mentally present. It's basically like meditating. It's like a mindful

activity. I'm very present in pubs. I'm right fucking there man. Mentally he's present in a pub right now. It's like, what if we took away all the clues and the fact that you're trapped in a room and you just replaced it with like a table and like beer and you'd be like, oh, okay, I'm interested now. But then when you pick up the beer, it opens a door. No, you just drink the beer and then it opens a door in your brain. I talk absolute shit for three hours. The deluge door.

Oh, that's sad. Yeah, I guess, I mean, like, I'm sure if I tried one, I'd probably have a good time. I could see you getting into it. Yeah, I think I can see you in, I can see you really thriving in there. I think it might be, you might finally find your home. Finally. We've all been talking about it. My thing is escape rooms is all I was after.

I think you guys could design an incredible escape room. I'm not afraid to say it. Thank you very much. Thank you. I think the escape rooms with like a sort of scare maze element, you know, like I saw this escape room on YouTube where like there's like a zombie that like every sort of scare maze element. You know, like I saw this escape room on YouTube where like there's a zombie that like every sort of two minutes the chain gets a bit longer.

The zombie's getting closer and closer to you. But that would be me and I'm about to tell you an anecdote. So. So. So. So. So. It's Anya and when she gets to the end of her chain,

she presses play on Cats the Musical, original West End recording. You have to get out there before you to the end of her chain, she presses play on Cats the Musical, original West End recording. You have to get out there before you watch the start of Cats. You've got to find all the peas. Please, please, please. Directors cut, Snyder cut. Memories. You have to translate my words.

That sounds really good. We're all laughing, but I think you just said an amazing idea for an escape room. So it's like mundane escape rooms, basically. It's kind of... It's escaping the humdrum of your day. Yeah. So it's like, that door's gonna open

and Clark is gonna emerge and tell you about his camping trip unless you can solve this code. And it's like, oh my God. And you can hear him behind the glass going, oh, well, the thing is, oh my God. Yeah. Oh no. Oh dear. That sound means you've awoken the mortgage advisor. Yeah. Just get comes out, put his tie on. You have to do your tax return quickly. He's on his way.

Self-employed, no pension. I think we better sit down. You're like, ah, I think that's good, actually. I think that I can't sort of be funny because I'm thinking, you need to patent this. OK, yeah. A funny escape room, that's a really good idea. I feel like, is no one doing that up in Edinburgh?

I feel like that's the sort of thing that someone should be doing. Well, I haven't got any material for my whip, so. So there we go. If you wouldn't mind. It's going to be an escape room. Wait, a whipland? Is there some other thing. A whipland. My whipland walk show.

But you know, I got, I've got a comedian told, said to me that as a joke, but don't say whip. Whip has come about and you. We didn't call them. You called them work in progress. We called them work in progress. Whip is very, is very new. Really? Because you didn't know about, you could call it whip. You called them work in progress. We called them work in progress. Whip is very, is very new. Really? Because you didn't know about, you could call it whip. You didn't know about letters.

It was pre the whip nay nay craze. You didn't abbreviate back then. I think that's where it came from. Really? We gave words there for them. We just called them boofests. Just crowds jeering at us. Oh.

Yeah. I thought we were back to scare mazes then. Yeah. Boofests. Are you trying to say the word buffet? Is he trying to say the word. Are you trying to say the word buffet? He's trying to say the word buffet. Don't call them whips. Yeah. I don't think we even called them working progress either. We called them previews back in the day. I actually think working

progress came a little bit later on as a thing. Because life's a work in progress. Every show's a work in progress. Yeah. Well, up until a point. Up until you get a bit bored. You should really. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Up until day two of Edinburgh when you think there's no saving this. It's just a script that I'm not that much confidence in really. I'm just going to have to keep doing it a bit louder each night. But your stand-up show as an escape room, as a thing running through it. And it's

like over the course of your set, you unleash different codes and then by the end you can leave the room. The audience can escape. Yeah, exactly. You can have a moment of who's trapped in here with who. Yeah. Kind of raw shark moment. And yeah, that's great. I love that. And it's like they're trapped in your mind. This would be quite a huge pivot from my sort of anecdotal style. But maybe that's what I need to do. People will be like, she sort of usually tells stories about her life, about her family. This year she's, you're in an escape room with her. She's clearly having a breakdown. Five stars. Yeah. Here's how I feel about birthday parties now that I'm in my 40s.

Is like, if I want to go and see fucking Matilda, the musical, I will. I just don't have to wait for it to be my birthday. And if I want some new trousers, I'm going to buy some. Someone's a baller. And I don't have to wait until. Yeah, that's right. This is what you're saying. He's got a bit of money in his new trousers.

I'm going, I need some new trousers. I've got to buy... To watch Matilda in. Yeah. I'll put on my big boy trousers and march myself out. Winner grower. Not pissing in these this time. Fooled me once.

You didn't get to see the second half. No, I know. It's a long first half. And I've had a lot of water on the way. Should have bought two pairs of new trousers. You knew it. The double, you've got to do the double. It just feels like waiting for your birthday to do something has gone. But it's the social aspect, isn't it?

It's not doing, you know, it's not like you're desperate to do a three-legged race. It'll be fun to do a three-legged race with my friends. Yeah. That's what's fun about it. Yes, you can go on your own in the middle of the day with, with no one around, but that's not really a birthday. Is it? In the middle of the day, the matinee. Yeah. That's really scary. Lunchtime's my piss time. Oh no. I just feel like, you know. Is that what you want? To go see Matilda? Is that your darkest desire?

No, I've seen it. Because he's a big boy. You should know this about Tom. His birthday's not till December, but he's already seen Matilda. That's the kind of life he has. No, literally the family on the train that I was on yesterday were on their way to see a do natural history museum and Matilda musical. What a day. What a trip. What a day. And it wasn't any of their birthdays or was it? No, it's just half term off to London they went. Oh, gee, that's great.

Yeah. So for a brief part of the train trip, I was like, I felt like I was part of the family. Did you go very sadly at Paddington, had to let them leave. And I realized, oh, I've invested too much in this trip. And I was like, have a nice time. And they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who are you again? Did you chat to them?

Did you did you say, oh, that'd be good. The big dinosaur. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Her name is Mrs. Trunk. That's good. Come on. That's good. Come on. That's good.

That's good. That's good. That is. I made myself laugh whilst I started saying it. Is that going in the whip? That's going in the whip. That's going in. Do you think that you're more anti-birthday because you have child, you're with child.

I'm with child. Thank you. Thanks for noticing. And you're like, you also have to do all the regimen of like half term school holidays. Like your calendar has quite a lot of dates in it. I'm very pro other people's birthdays. Just not your own? Yeah, particularly with your kids.

Like when you're a parent, the only thing about your birthday when you're a parent is it's an event for your kids. So the biggest thing is for them to go, it's dad's birthday and that means get a cake and they can help make cards. Anything outside of that, what you up to? That's like, you want to go cinema, go cinema, go when you can, you don't have to do it for your birthday. You don't have to get your kids to buy you

a new pair of trousers. But it's like, yeah, you get to go, oh, you bought me this, lovely. It's for them. Yeah, but here fucking dad. But it's like, yeah, you get to go, oh, you bought me this. Lovely. It's for them. Yeah, but here's the thing. It's a bit like, it's right. Every, every single stag do you go on, right?

Every single stag do you go on, people say, we wouldn't do this otherwise. Yeah. There's no other reason to do this, right? And every stag do's, yeah, they're all like, well, let's do this every year. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Yeah.

At weddings as well. You know, we went to a wedding a few years ago. They were like, every year we're coming back here the same weekend to the same venue and we're going to have a party. Hasn't happened, of course. Really? Because you need the big event and that's where the birthday comes into play. If you said to everyone, I'm organizing a trip to Matilda, who's coming. It would seem weird. If you said I'm going to see Matilda, it would seem weird as well.

As I finished, as I saw the end of the sentence cresting on the horizon, I thought, oh God, this is an escape room there's no getting out of. Abort, abort. I'm in the anti-room guys, let me out. I spoke to someone the other day, that thing about the wedding weekend, who was actually doing it. Really? What are you doing this weekend? And they were like, oh, it's really weird actually.

We did a wedding last year and we said how great it is and let's do this every year. And so someone booked it and we're all going back. And it was like, we haven't spoken in a year. I don't know like four of the couples going. It's going to be quite odd because we're just going back I was like no you're the no one's ever done it Wow cuz it is a thing but like you know, I yeah, I don't know. It's like I just feel like it It's it just gets less when you're when you're like, oh, it's my fucking 30th birthday

Or even it's your 27th birthday from when you're 43 and you go to my 43rd birthday. Do you want to come to the art center? No. When I was organizing the sports day, I did have someone message me saying, sorry, I can't make your birthday sports day. And I thought, do I correct them? And I said, Oh, it's not actually a birthday. And she said, what?

Yeah. And then she said, I'm busy. Yeah. But I just feel like there's less pressure on them. There's less pressure on people to attend if it's not your birthday. It's like they don't have it. There's no reason, is there? That's why you can't get people.

You've got it. You've got to rebrand it. I'm sort of rebranded as a birthday. And it's my birthday. And it's a pilot. Oh, and also say you've got a terminal disease. That's the other thing I was gonna say. I'm dying.

I'm dying. Aren't we all in the way? But I've got the antidote. And if you win, if you find enough peas, you'll get the antidote. Yeah. Okay, I'm starting to feel really good about this party. Yeah, it's great.

I'm starting to feel really positive about it. I've just remembered I'm busy. Yeah, I won't be able to come up, sadly. But Tom's well up for it. Until the musical starts. Around about then I'm afraid. I guess. Nothing else, just the trousers. Were you good at sports day at school?

No. Do you have happy memories about it? No, I don't have any memory of it really. I don't think, I think I've, I've become more later in life, sporty. I wasn't sporty at school. Didn't feel like I was like able to be, cause it was quite cool to be sporty. Yeah. I don't know if that's true across all schools, but like the sporty, sporty people tended to be, and I wasn't in that group. But now I've started like, I play football, do find the P. I'm a bit of an Olympian. I'm a bit of an Olympian.

Olympian. Yes. Ow. My own strength. I've told you this before, but on my sports day, the PE teacher, who hated me because I was a little cunt basically, and I hated sports, he said to me and my friend, I've given you an Access All Areas pass to the rest of the school. You can go anywhere you like in the rest of the school. And so a teacher was walking through the quad and saw me and my friend Paul jumping on one of the tables. And they said, what's going on? And we went, oh, we've got an Access All Are areas pass to the rest of the school. And he went, well, that's not a thing.

I was like, yeah, it is. I've got an access. Where's this pass? Is that what Mr. Mr. Archer gave it to us? It's like, yeah, you can't do that. We were like, I'm the staff from having to wander around and stuff. But he was like, he was basically just keep these two as far away from my special day as possible. It doesn't matter what they do. Wow.

I mean, a brilliant move from a very thick man. But crucially to much thicker kids. Yeah. And also access all areas doesn't necessarily mean you can do everything in all those areas. That's a good thing. Wow. Yeah, but you know, there were no terms and conditions. He didn't say you couldn't jump on the tables.

Also, sad. What a saddo. Or we could do anything. Let's jump on the tables. Yeah, it's hard to know what to do in those days. And we're like, just before GCSE age, we were like sort of, you know, old enough to not be excited by the content of jumping on the table.

Just before GCSE age? That's so much older than I was imagining you in this story. We were like 15. I was imagining you at round nine. We were like 15. I was imagining you at around nine. We were like 15 maybe, yeah. Yeah, you know. Crosby is always so much more older than you imagine. Oh yeah.

That's his thing. Yeah. My thing was when I was in, and I think I've told you this before on the pod, but I was in like second year of primary school and the teacher said, I'm going to trust you to be in the classroom on your own. Cause I can't remember why,

but I had an hour, like I was there for like half an hour or something in the classroom on your own. Cause I can't remember why, but I had an hour, like I was there for like half an hour or something in the classroom on my own. And I remember thinking, what do I do now? What can I do? Like, I've got to do something. So I went over to the tap and I got some water in my mouth. And then I walked to the back of the class and knelt down and spat the water on the floor

underneath the shelf. And the guy said, no, no, listen, this is the anti-room for the escape room. Okay. And like that was my trans-rebellion. I was like, that's what I'll do. So you just like drilled on the floor? You just moved some water. Yeah, I just took some water in my mouth

and spat it in the back of the room. We don't really know what's- Yeah, we don't really know what to do. Really? Yeah. That was my most rebellious act at primary school. And I still think about it all the time as like, whoa, shouldn't have done that.

Really? I think like- well the school flooded after that. Mr Steggle trusted you man and you did that. Do you think it was because he trusted you that you were like, I have to prove him wrong? Well I just thought, oh God, do something. I have a bit of edge to me. I didn't even use it for bragging rights. Thank God. Like I didn't tell anyone.

I didn't go like 20 mates afterwards. And we think it's really cool. I gobbed under that shelf. Look, there's a little bowl of water. I think he must have known even at the time that's not a good story. See that shelf over there? Don't tell anyone.

Oh yeah. Yeah. Just spat the water out. That's really, really hard to wrap my head around that. It's hard, isn't it? Yeah, it's really interesting. Were there other things that you were like, did you reject other things first?

Like, you know, doing like a little bit of graffiti like under a desk or something? Yeah, well, jump on top of it. Jump on a desk because that's my number one. That's straight off the top of the desk. Four years later, I scrawled praise God for Jarvis at the back of church. Yeah, on the back of a pew.

Church, you defiled the church. So it was a gateway. It was a gateway act of a pew. Church, you defiled the church. So it was a gateway act. It was a gateway act. But that I thought was funny. I thought there was something funny about that and it was just for me and Clark. How do you scroll it? Are you a super soaker?

It's a very convenient one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But who's that sucking the baptismal font? Get your face out of it, Parry. What was the most rebellious act you did at primary school? Oh, I wouldn't say it's rebellious. It's probably more of like a crime. I mean, I'm not a big fan of that.

I mean, I'm not a big fan of that. I mean, I'm not a big fan of that. I mean, I'm not a big fan of that. I mean, I'm not a big fan of that. I mean, I'm not a big fan of that. I mean, I'm not a big fan of that. I mean, I'm not a big fan of that. I mean, I'm not a big fan of that. I mean, I'm not a big fan of that. Get your face out of it, Parry. What was the most rebellious act you did at primary school? Oh, I wouldn't say it's rebellious. It's probably more of like a cry for help. But in reception, there was a rumor going around.

Well, it wasn't a rumor. It was the staff told us, the teachers told us, someone's been stealing stuff from people's lunch boxes. So whoever it is, stop doing it and please return the stuff. And so that then that day, I think I wanted to be part of it. So I removed some items from my lunchbox and said to the teacher, they've struck again. And then I guess I, this is also by the way, this is really embarrassing.

I know that. And then we were, I was at my desk and I said, you can even check my desk and they did. And it was all in there because I just put it in my desk and I thought I was double bluffing. And they were like, we don't need to check your desk. You're, you know, we trust you Anya. Yeah. I thought they'd be like, we know, don't worry. We're not going to put you through given what you've been through so far. Obviously this is all pretty hard. So you were five basically when you did this.

Yeah. Yeah. Fresh off the parent's divorce, of course. Of course, well, that's a lot of doubt, dude. That's why you're going to be putting a baby bell on your desk. That's what they say, isn't it? Child psychology. Nick in your own sandwiches, that's the first sign that they're taking it hard.

You're taking after the baby. Yeah. Bell. I think that also stayed with me. It does. To my core. And I did do a gig the other day where there was a woman from the reception class who was the teacher's assistant in the audience. And I

asked her if she remembered it. She said, no. So that was quite, quite a relief. Why was she? Well, I guess I kind of thought I'd become like law. Yeah. You've broken the law is what you've done. Well, also she was too busy stealing from people's lunchboxes, wasn't she? No, I didn't even do that, guys. I just wanted to be part of something. I guess that's probably because there's no community anymore in this society. I was just trying to be part of something bigger than myself. There's no religion.

I guess that's why you're organizing sports days as well. Yeah. Just trying to replace the church because you scrawled all over the back of it. I remember those moments though in assembly when they would say, this has been happening. They'd often say as well, we know who it is. We want them to come forward. They didn't know. They didn't know, did they? Yeah. Which I hated that because I got busted by that when I... You put yourself in.

No, no. My friends did. Right. They ratted you out. They ratted the whole gang out. But I didn't know because here's what happened. We were in the, you know, we were taking advice about access all areas pass and we were in the science labs during a lunch break. We weren't supposed to be in there. And we decided to, we should have, we could have died.

We decided to cover a fountain pen in tin foil and stick it in a plug socket. Of course we did, of course we did. So we did that and we short circuited the entire science book. Oh my God. Wow. And then anyway, the next day I was-

Whose idea was that? That was my idea. I mean, I say we, I did it. Really? How did you come up with that idea? Well, it was a Tuesday and we jumped on the desks on a Monday. So I was sort of out of ideas. I thought you were talking about like DJing. I jumped on the desk.

Jumped on the desk. Do I jump on the desk? Shorted the lab on Tuesday. I mean, to look at Haffey's, you would think Matthew wouldn't be the big rebel. Why? But maybe the quiet, the quiet psycho maybe. Yeah, yeah.

Like the pen in the socket. Yeah, that's not, it's not really rebellious is it? Because like what you're rebelling against, the concept of your own life. What have you got? You know what, I'm going to rebel against being alive guys. Anyway, watch this. You know, I don't think that it was, I don't know. Did it shock you

when my friends ratted me out the next day so the next day they did an assembly but i was i was i was unwell so i wasn't it you were you burnt your wrist you were shitting ink weren't you shitting electric ink i was half man half pen yeah i could write with my nose so i was i was i was unwell the next day. I came in the day after and they said, Oh, by the way, they did an assembly yesterday. They said, they know who it is. And it's like the oldest trick in the book.

But also you were, if you had been there, they'd be like, we can't write Crosby. He's right here. Yeah. Yeah. So they'd say, they wrapped, they, but they, but they came forward and said, it was all, we were the guys that were in the, in the science that we all got in trouble. We all got satirized detentions as a result. But it was you.

It was me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right, right. Yeah. But if I all I'm saying is I was I was I was enough of a criminal mastermind to see through the goddamn narcs, you know, I wouldn't have. I wouldn't have ratted myself in. So I I ratted my best friend. It was the demise of the hands down club. We had a really cool hands down club. We had a club called the hands down club. We were allowed in the school library, in primary school.

And you were hands down the coolest kids in the school. What the hands down club did is we made signs saying the hands down club in library. And they said, you can be in here, you can make your signs. It's really nice. But one thing you can't do is turn the gas fire on. And they said, that's all, just don't turn the gas fire on, it's not safe. And the second they closed the door, shucks went, lads, I'm sticking the gas fire on. And it was like, you don't have to do that. And you were like, can't we just carry a bit of gas in our mouths?

Blur, blowing into this little hole. So many shells in that library. Blurr, blowing into this little hole. So many shells in that library. They're not going to wet themselves. I was like, this bit. Blurr, blurr, blurr. What were you saying, Tom? Blurr, blurr, blurr. I think he's trying to say woodlands.

Blurr, blurr, blurr. Blurr, blurr, blurr. Blurr, blurr, blurr. So yeah, and they came back in and they said, oh, we can smoke gas if you had the fire on. Neil said no. Rich Ward said no. Shaps said no.

And I said, yeah, Shaps put the fire on. Oh, no. Brutal. In front of them, yeah. And you're still mates as well. Shaps is still your friend, even after that betrayal. Yeah. Wow.

I've, I've, I've, I sold Shaps out down the river a good couple of times. So it was that one. And then there was watching Sliver at his sleepover, which I know I've talked about before where I told my parents parents they were planning to watch a Sharon Stone film called sliver where Sharon Stone got naked and I went home and told my mom and dad and so I had to reach out and say I can't come to your sleepover if you're gonna watch sliver so uh yeah so we didn't watch sliver oh well you went and they had to change the girl. Yeah, it was amazing. I mean, it was amazing because Shaps came into school on the Monday and said,

lads, I've got sliver. And everyone went, oh my God. And it was like, we're going to watch sliver. And I went home and said to mom and dad, if I go to Shaps's on Friday night, they're going to watch sliver. And they said, well, then you can't go. So I had to ring Shaps. And my mom and dad were listening down the other end of the phone. I had to ring Shaps. And my mum and dad were listening down the other end

of the phone. I had to ring Shaps and say, listen, I'm really sorry but I've told my mum and dad about Sliver. And he went, oh, Harry, what are we gonna do with you? And I said, if you watch Sliver, I can't come. And he went, all right, leave it with me. And then on the Tuesday morning, he came. How old was this guy?

He was, he was living with it. He's got the energy of a fixer. I imagine even at like eight or nine years old. I'll talk to some of the lads, we'll see what we can do. I'll have to move some money around, but I can sort it. Get you out of the escape room, put it that way. Like, okay, yeah, move that bookshelf, there's a fucking fire exit there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The way we do it, we don't even have to go in, don't worry about it.

He went into school the next day and got all the lads around and went, I'm really sorry to have to tell you this lads, but my parents found sliver and they've... Oh, that's so nice. He fell on his own sword. Oh my God, that's really moving. There'll be no sliver. He didn't write you out even though you ratted him? Yeah.

Wow, that's like a biblical parable, isn't it? Yeah. Like a Bible parable. So then fast forward three years, is this redemption? We were in the portable classroom, you know, those kind of portable, not quite buildings that you have. We were dicking around at registration. I know we were talking about walls losing and Shaps went, we lost again. And he punched a hole in the wall. Yeah. Shaps as a dark horse. It's mad that you crossed him. It's absolutely mad that you crossed him twice.

He punched a hole in the wall and we covered it up with a piece of A4 paper and thought no one would, and it was where we sat basically in the corner. That was the day you went from the hands down club to the hands through walls club. You had to make a sign. And the head of year caught up with me during the day

and said, they said, we think, he said, they said, we think we know that Chris Sharples punched a hole in that wall, did he? And, and I said, I didn't, I didn't write him out for the first time in my life. Oh, you didn't say it was you? Oh my God. That's not redemption, no. That's not redemption. It was Sharon Stone, actually, I think.

Yeah. Wow. I can't believe you're such a rat. I know. Yeah. Starting to understand why you don't want to come to sports day. Yeah. Yeah. And then he, well, no, I mean, there we go.

That's even though I think we, uh, he started fighting. He started play fighting with me in front of the head of six for when it cost me being head boy. And he holds his hand up about that. So I feel, I do feel like we broke out even in the end. Oh, cause he took that opportunity away from you. And you can never have that back. No, no. And he became head boy. It was a fight to the death. And he's there. It's like Tom, Tom's gone limp fight club style. And he's just, he's still pounding Tom's gone limp, fight club style, and he's just still pounding

away. Who's the head boy? Yeah. But I was the rat, yeah. I was the rat. You were the rat. Yeah. Who's the rat in this three?

Oh, absolutely me. Do you think? I'm a rat now, yeah, yeah, yeah. But more of the facial features than anything else. Still, such a useful looking rat. Thank you. You really look like a rat. Let's get the word in rat they call me.

Here's the tricky thing for me is you're raised by your parents to tell the truth and that it's really important to tell the truth. Yes. And like, and especially, and also we had a very Christian upbringing where it was like, you do what your mom and dad tell you and you tell the truth. And my parents never said, don't tell the truth if it costs your friends a problem. This is the crucial thing. So I was raised to tell the truth. So that's what I did. Yeah. And I thought I was being good. Yeah. So obviously in hindsight, you learn that you're not. Yeah. That's not what I was taught. And I find that to be a gray area. I had older brothers and they taught me that message.

Oh yeah. So I was like that until my older brothers got older me and were like, no, no, you don't do that. Don't put that hat on us. You don't. It was basically that, yeah. We were running up the wrong side of the escalator. I got caught.

Well, you're hard to do. Yeah. I mean, that's real training. We got told off by security guards. The ultimate escape room. I got caught and I was like, and I was like, they did it as well. And my brothers afterwards took me to one side and was like, you never do that. Wow. And I was like, okay, I get it. And else we'll beat you up. Yeah. It's a different lesson.

Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, but it is. No, yeah, it is. That's the lesson you need to be taught. Snitches get stitches. Widdland. Yeah, it is. That's the lesson. Stitches get snitches. Snitches get stitches. Widdland. They never taught you to read. But they did teach you not to rat. There it is. There it was. There it is. And we hope you enjoyed yourselves. I really enjoyed

listening back to that actually. Yeah, it was lovely. Yeah, it was. It was great. It was great. It was a real trip down memory lane from a couple of weeks ago. By the way, if you want to know more details about Anya's sports day, then can I refer you to another one of my podcasts? If you listen to there is an episode of the Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby radio show on Radio X podcast that is called Anya Magliano Sports Day.

So there's a debrief from somebody who was at the sports day. So you can sort of, you can kind of fit the story together if you wish. Yeah, you're basically like the MCU of podcasts now. Cinematic universe of Matthew. Yeah, yeah, the Matthew Crosby universe. We're all living in the Matthew Crosby universe. You're in the Crosby verse, yeah. Welcome to the Crosby universe. We're all living in the Matthew Crosby universe.

You're in the Crosby universe. Yeah, welcome to the Crosby universe. Oh no. Don't forget the Patreon. Don't forget our Instagram, our TikTok, our YouTube. Get over there, join us, subscribe, all of that kind of stuff. Hang on, hang on, are you talking about

the Crosby and Gamble Patreon and YouTube channel here? Have you moved back to our podcast? Just checking. I'm moved back to our podcast? Just checking. I'm now back on the promo. Okay, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Well, in that case, proceed. Yes, don't forget to get over to the Patreon, to our Instagram, to our YouTube, to our TikTok. All of those things, you will be rewarded greatly with some fantastic content over there.

So join us and have some fun. Absolutely. And if you feel overwhelmed by all of those things, just imagine them as service stations on the journey that your boys are on. So thank you for listening. We were all worried about that, Tom, but it turned out all right. Thank you. Also, when you are at the service stations, don't close your eyes.

Watch out. Watch out for oncoming traffic on this journey that your boys around today's episode was produced by have a caution cheers everyone bye