Pappy's Flatshare - Ep 1522: Pappy's Flatshare Slamdown with Natalie Cassidy & Leah Davis - "Build the Bug Hotel"

Episode Date: July 1, 2025

Neither Tom nor Ben wants to build the bug hotel… so Matthew says we’re gonna have to have a flatshare slamdown!Matthew Crosby, Ben Clark and Tom Parry Wicks recorded live at The Phoenix Cavendish Square with guests Leah Davis and Natalie CassidyLeah Davis - https://www.instagram.com/leahhdaviss/Nat Cass - https://www.instagram.com/natcass1/To get episodes early and ad-free - PLUS a bonus episode every week - join our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareTo watch full episodes of Pappy’s Flatshare find us on YouTube: www.youtube.com/@pappysflatshareAnd follow us onInstagram: instagram.com/pappyscomedyTikTok: www.tiktok.com/@pappysflatshareFacebook: www.facebook.com/PappysFlatshare/And X: twitter.com/pappystweet Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greetings listener dear, I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I am Matthew and welcome to this very exciting episode of Papi's Flat Share Slamdown. Flat Share Slamdown, the flagship episode of this enterprise. It is indeed. At the start of every month we stick it out into your ear canals, but you know this. I don't know why I'm... People know... Well, we might have some new listeners today. We might have some brand new listeners. I hope so, yeah. Because we've got two fantastic guests. We've got Leah Davis and we've got Natalie Cassidy. Brilliant. Brilliant, Natalie Cassidy. Brilliant, Leah Davis. We had an amazing time.

We had such a fun night. With both of them. And yeah, it was a real joy. It really was. You're going to hear that as you listen to the episode. If you'd like to see a video of this episode. Whoa, there's a video. Yeah, we filmed a video of it. Right.

And now that's... What was I wearing? Were you not a fool? Okay. We've got a video of it and it's on YouTube. Okay, I'll check that out then. So go to youtube.com. I'm just telling you now.

Yeah, I know. Go to youtube.com forward slash at P. So go to youtube.com. I'm just, I'm just telling you now, forward slash at Pappy's flat share. And you can not only see a video of that, but all of our recent episodes, we filmed them all us just sitting in Clarkies flat and having a chat and the other flat share slam downs. You Tom, this sounds great. This couldn't be more up your alley. Listen, it sounds to me like you boys are on a real journey. And how would I go about wanting to support you on your journey

if I was so inclined? Oh, well, it's so wonderful you should ask, actually. Yeah, yeah. Because you can support us on Patreon. What? Patreon.com forward slash puppiesflatshare. And there you can go support your boys. And for that support, we give you an exclusive episode every week.

Oh my gosh, this sounds brilliant. Yeah. OK. Are you going to sign up? No. Not like a petite. Not really your sort of thing, actually. But the knowledge is important.

It's good to have the knowledge. Great. Well, thank you for that. So yeah, supporting you boys on the journey, checking us out on YouTube. Also, there's lots of clips on Instagram and TikTok these days, so if you see those. But specifically clips of us. Oh, right, yeah. Just, yeah. Because there's lots of clips on Instagram and TikTok these days. So if you see those. But specifically clips of us.

Oh, right. Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah. Because there are lots of clips on TikTok these days, but specifically we want people to look at the clips of us. Right. Okay. Great. So it's a Pappy's Comedy on Instagram or it's Pappy's Flat Share on TikTok. Phenomenal. Get along today and watch clips and enjoy yourself.

Gosh. Well, I am learning and loving all of this. But let's not get distracted from the main case in point, which is our flagship episode. Enjoy listening. Tom, Ben! What is it, Matthew? Yeah, what is it, you rat bastard? Oh, wow! Ben, that's strong words. Rats are only a tiny part of our problem because this house is teaming with bugs.

There are bed bugs in the beds, cockroaches in our kitchen and crabs all over Clarkie. We need to lure them out of the flat and into the garden so one of you needs to install the Bug Hotel. Well it's not going to be me, Matthew. No, no. No, I hate Bug Hotels. They creep me out, man. They're disgusting.

Should never have booked one for my anniversary. That's not... Just good old fashioned cheer, isn't it? It's good old fashioned... What's wrong with that? It's good old fashioned humor. Premier Insect. And Tom.

I don't mind it, I'll say it. I'll say Premier Insect. It's not harming anyone, is it? Doesn't have to be edgy all the time does it? What have you got for us Tom? Because I feel like you should have quit while you were ahead with Premier Insect. I could have started the show there. No, no, no. Let's lower the... Okay, so I'm not going to do that because the last time I had a Bug Hotel it was a gift for Christmas.

And let me tell you, that was a terrible Christmas. Oh yeah? Yeah, I was a gift for Christmas. And let me tell you, that was a terrible Christmas. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I was hosting the rapper, that guy who sang number one with end-ups, according to Wikipedia. And he was in a right mood. He was really grumpy about Christmas the whole time. And we played charades that night. Oh, yeah.

And he had to do the film that made Marlon Brando famous. Anyway, Grinchy Tinchy Strider mimed on the waterfront. Grinch, Grinchy Tinchy Strider mimed on the waterfront. Yeah. That's it. And so you said. That's it. So you said it was for your anniversary, Clarky.

Was that it? Well, there's only one way to settle this. We're going to have to have a... Flat Share Slam Down! Flat Share Slam Down! Flat Share Slam Down! Flat Share Slam Down! Hello and welcome to Flat Share Slam Down, the panel show that says,

Nice to see you, to see you... LICE! I'm the host and landlord Matthew Crosby. Let's meet the two guys who've been bugging me for years. It's Tom Parry and Benedict Clarke. Hello! A peek behind the curtain. You didn't have to prep the audience to do that, did you?

You have so little faith in our audience that they wouldn't have followed through on that. In a second, guys, I'm going to want you all to shout the word lice. And you know what? I felt like I could feel them panicking all the way through that. All the way through the opening. It really honestly, that thing about Tinchy Strangler was so good. They were too busy. They were too busy. They're up in there. They were doing live readings on it.

Am I going to I'm not going to shout it with joy in my heart? What am I going to do? What's my backstory? No, this is I ruin that. Apology accepted. But luckily you... But you can't install a bug hotel alone. Who have you brought to join your Connolly tonight? Ben. Oh, I brought Leah Davis. Leah Davis is here. What a joy to have you on the show, Leah. Thank you so much. So what kind of a person are you to live with?

I'm generally incredibly passive aggressive for one. All right. First person, lose the tooth. I was going to put a leave in a no on the script for you, but I thought no, I'm actually going to be brave. But also right now, as we speak, incredibly hazardous. Incredibly hazardous, right, because I'm six months pregnant,

and not only could you know that they'd be... Wow, silence for being six months pregnant. You know to shout lies. She's like, we've prepped you. We'll try that one more time. So you're hazardous at the moment. Incredibly hazardous at the moment, because I'm six months pregnant.

Yeah! You don't need to clap that. So you're hazardous at the moment. I'm gonna be hazardous at the moment because I'm six months pregnant. Yeah! You don't need to clap that. You don't need to clap that. And not only did the baby, you know, just pop out at any point, I've just got a real penchant at the moment for inedible products. Oh really?

Really? You've got the proper old school cravings where you want to eat like a ceiling tile or something. Lock up your bleach, babe, yeah. Oh, don't know. Oh, no, no. That's one of the bad ones, isn't it? Yeah, oh, they're all bad. Are you gonna eat like a ceiling tile or something. Lock up your bleach, babe, yeah. Oh, don't know. No, no, no. That's one of the bad ones, isn't it? Oh, they're all bad.

Are you going to eat Tide Pods or something like they were doing in 2016? Yeah. Chalk would be lovely if anyone's got any chalk. Yeah. This is exciting, though. I feel like you want the extreme cravings to be a story. It's true.

Oh, when I had you, I really ate loads of red lace. And you're like, oh, yeah, it's great. loads of red lace. And you're like, yeah, it's great. Everyone eats red lace. My shoes fell off. But apart from that, yeah, so what? So that just makes me feel like I'm quite an edgy housemate. Can I just check, is there anything in the immediate vicinity that you're going to be munching on?

Is there like, you don't want to eat the tablecloth or anything like that? No, nothing's quite got the crunch that I need. OK, we'll lock the cleaning cupboard. Leah Davis, everybody. lock the cleaning cupboard. Yeah, if you don't mind. There, Leah Davis everybody. Leah Davis is here. And Tom, what about you?

Well, as we all know, I'm four months pregnant. Oh, come on guys. Lice. Lice. The Jamboree's in danger everyone. Oh no. Yeah, we had a burglary the other day, someone broke in and taken everything out the safe. So I've had to replace them with a national treasure. Please welcome Natalie Cassidy,

everybody. Hello Natalie. How are you? I'm all the better for seeing you. Thank you very much for coming on the show. Now, thank you for having me. It's a total pleasure. Now what? Natalie, do you want to road test a lice to see you to see you? Yeah, lice to see you to see you. Lice! That's how you do it. Good. No prep. No prep needed. They've got to bring back the gen game. Oh, it's a great game.

I'd like to be, you know you had Bruce? Yeah. I'd want to be what's on the doors. You know, Roseby. Ms. Ford. Yeah, Roseby Ford. Yeah, I'd like to be Roseby. No, no, you could be Brucey and you could and you could have, you could have your own Dolly Boy.

Have the boys be in round. Yeah, that's true. It's 2023. Yeah, that's true. Isn't it? I think it's 2023. Yeah. Yeah.

I had a genuine panic when I had to say the year. Don't worry about it. But yes, it's, it's, yeah, you should, you should. I think you'd be, I think you'd be a good Gen Game host. Thank you, yeah. The campaign begins here. Great. So what kind of a person are you to live with? Well, I think you'd be a good gen game host. Thank you, yeah. The campaign begins here. Great. So what kind of a person are you to live with?

Well, I would like to lie. Please do. But I can't, unfortunately. I'm in the shit because my fiance's here. Right. Oh, right. So I'm a fucking nightmare to live with. Where's fiance?

Fiance? He's probably upstairs. He's left. He's left. It's half term. Oh, he's over there. There's Mark. Oh, there you are. There you are, Fiance. Hello, Mark.

You all right? I'm good. How are you? Yeah, good. What's Nat like to live with? Honestly, we've not got the time. Wow. This is unbelievable.

This is great. Available if you want me to come on another time. Be a guest. I feel like we have to. It's like a spin-off party. Unbelievable. This is great. Available if you want me to come on another time. You can be a guest and feel like we have to. Unbelievable. Give us one thing that's currently top of your gripe list. The dishwasher, but I think that's probably standard.

What's the problem with the dishwasher? She's not eating the tabs is she? That's Leah's job. Just the loading of it really. Oh, you higgly-piggly. He says I don't load it probably I just put the fucking plates in I don't know what you want yeah I put the stuff in the dishwasher and it cleans itself I don't know what to do yeah how you want it all completely in order two millimeters apart bowls in place I haven't got the time it goes in the fucking thing and it gets cleaned

Do you not have that thing where sort of the bowls tilt up? Yes, I do As Mark said himself we haven't got the time We've met our guest Natalie Castly Leah Davis, let's get this flea circus jumping as we play round one! Woo! Get wet! Pfft! Stop everything! That's producing! Gwyn! Just because you put a bit of paper under table leg doesn't mean you can have the rest

of the night off, mate. Gwyn! Okay? Gwyn! Listen, I know we're talking about the Tide Pod challenge but it doesn't mean that you're gonna do a mashup for us what the bloody hell was that mate? Just try something out. Just yeah. It's 2023 bro. You try something out at your day job at the BBC not with us alright we're proper I'm sorry about that sorry about

that Leah sorry about that Natalie no problem I told this is professional operation that's what it's like at the BBC let's start from the beginning okay okay let's try it one more time round one Number one! I'm sorry. I'm sorry, a little more father chair She said this place is different than a ladybird took my case The lift attendant had eight legs and ten eyes on his face When I got to my bedroom, there came a knock on the door Woodlouse said I'll give you a room service and a whole lot more he said no one needs to know just leave me a tip then he stepped into my room and started to strip And started to strip Welcome to the hotel off of Poland

I fucked a woodlouse there I fucked him in a chair But they took pictures of me in the hotel off of Poland And now they're blackmailing me They're gonna show my family I wish I'd never gone to the hotel off of Polder And you can't trust them there There's bad customer care Now I send all my money to the hotel off of Poland. Because they got footage of me, they got footage of me

drinking woodlouse pee. Oh. Wow. And that'd be, yeah. Woo! Woo! Woo! Yeah.

So now we know when Mark said we haven't got the time, he'd heard the jingle clearly. We thought it'd be really fun to do a long jingle. It'll never catch on, Clarky. This first round is called Unexpected Item in the Bugging Area. Now I'd like you to imagine I've bugged a hotel room and our players are going to recreate the sounds that our bugging device has picked up using only noises, no words, right? I'd like each player to communicate a person, an activity and a thing that I will give them. It's up to their teammate to guess who that person is, what they're doing and with what thing they have with them.

Sounds only. Somebody is already... Let me find out the gutter, please. Somebody is already invested in the game. That's what I like to hear. Tom. Hello. There you go. Now it's two points for each correct answer, however I will dock a point for each word uttered. That's why I said that before I gave you that. Okay, right, so no words from Tom. You've got your person, activity and thing. Nat, let's see if all this noise helps you think straight. Here you go. Person.

Person. If you want to do the person first. Person, object, thing. Yeah, okay, yeah. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee.

Click it. Diddle-dee, diddle-dee, diddle-dee-dee. Oh, mobile phone. Okay, that was all of them. Yeah, that was all of them together. Mobile phone. Yeah. Diddle-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee. Ringtone, yeah.

Mobile phone. Diddle-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee. I think he wants you to be more specific than mobile phone. And Nokia. Yeah, yeah, there we go. Yeah, Nokia, that's a point. Yeah, yeah. Rik-tik-tik-tik-tik-tik-tik-tik. Diddle-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee. Yeah, yeah, there we go. That's it, yeah. Knock it, that's a point. Eee, eee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee, reee. Eee. Eee. Oh. Ah-da-ba-da-boo-boom.

Ah-da-ba-da-boo. Ah-da-ba-da-boo-doo. Rick-a-dick-a-dick-a-dick-a-dick. Do-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee. Ha ha ha ha. Don Jolly? Eee. Eee.

Eee. Eee. I'm just going along the lines of trigger happy. The phone. That's what I thought that. Dick-a-dee-dee-dee. Oh, the person and the phone are very separate things. Don't think too much about it. Oh, god. Hey. So this is. Oh, the person and the phone is a very separate thing. Don't think too much about it.

I'll tell you now, this person isn't from Scotland. I don't know. I don't know. I'm so sorry. Okay, I'm good. I've got no idea. Okay, what's the thing he's doing then? Rrk-tk-tk-tk. Love that sound.

What do you think that noise might be? It's an action, an activity of some kind. Like a ride in the bike. No, ignore his hands. The hands are. Rrk-tk-tk-tk. Tap, tap down. Eee.

Tap dancing. Yeah. Okay, so somebody. of some kind. Like a ride in the bike? No, ignore his hands, the hands are... Tap dancing. Tap dancing! Okay, so somebody... So he's tap dancing with a Nokia. I tell you what, you're losing it Tom. I thought I knew it and I don't think I do anymore. Heee! Lightning McQueen. Me-dee-me-dee. Okay, now you've got... You've got four... De-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-deik-tik-tik-tik! Delili-delili-dee! I can't stress enough, we haven't got the time.

Oh, thank you, Tom. Clarky, Leah, do you have any idea who that might be? I don't have a clue. I was thinking Bob Dylan. It is Bob Dylan! Oh, lovely! I get it now! It was really good!

Wow! It was good, wasn't it? It was really good! Wow! It was good, wasn't it? It was really good. Do you know what? I've got this game all bugaboo. I'll give you the answers, I'll tell you what it is. Thank you! We'll hear the sound and then we'll have a nice time. Ian Chalamet. We were down to the last two.

Ian Chalamet. I could have done it. I could have done it! He crucially used words, didn't he? That was good. What a hack. Really good. So it was indeed Bob Dylan. In hindsight, it was really good.

Once you know it. Yeah, exactly. Once you know it. It was indeed Bob Dylan, tap dancing with a Nokia 3310. Four points there, two points to Leah and to Clarky. Leah, you're up next. Here are your three noises. Ben, can you decipher the din?

Okay, here we go. Here we go. So person, activity, thing. Yeah. Is it stopped? Sorry, no. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Okay.

Mm. Mm. Uh. Uh. Uh. Okay. Bob Dylan. Bob Dylan gets around, doesn't he? Have you gone into labor? You chopping on personal? What's going on here? Hang on, hang on, hang on. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do check it again because you... Yeah. Okay.

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah. A bit more. What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? OK. All right. Excuse me. Excuse me.

And the idea is Clark at this stage, because I feel like- Ray Winston? Uh, oh. Oh. It's not Ray Winston. But it did make Leah go, ooh.

Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. I mean, you're kind of in the, you're in a ballpark, aren't you? Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.

Danny Dyer. It's Danny Dyer. Yeah. No, no, no. It of course is Danny Dyer, but what's, but what is Danny Dyer doing and with what? Here we go. I just...

Have you done them all? You could have split it up for me like this. I think you have to do it all at once. Okay, okay. Right, I'm continuing more at once. So sorry, so sorry. Okay. What? Oh, wait. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh A rocking chair? Danny Dyer on a rocking chair? Not a rocking chair, no. Danny Dyer is...

Jumping up and down on a bed? Danny Dyer say no. Okay, okay. Okay, what's the... Can you work out what the last thing is? What's the item? Can I have that again please, sorry? Oh, electric guitar! I'll play the electric guitar.

It's electric guitar, okay. So yeah, so we've got Danny Dyer on electric guitar. What's in the middle? Let's hear it one more time. I mean, you don't have to. Any ideas on this Tim? I'm going to throw it over now. What do you think? It's Danny Dyer. It's Danny Dyer with electric guitar, but he's doing something else. Some sort of activity. What is that activity? He's not walking up some creaky stairs, is he? It's not creaky stairs. Is he on a pogo stick? He's not on a pogo stick.

Leah, put us out of our misery. What is he doing there? He's soaring. Of course he's soaring. I don't... That's a very squeaky thought. I know, I'm so... I haven't seen him soaring since then.

Is he sea soaring? No, no, no. Are you soaring in there, mate? I will say this, until you've had your go, don't pass judgment. I will say that. I will say that. Well, congratulations. You get four points.

Very, very good stuff there, Nats. You're up next. Good stuff. Oh, no. Those are your three noises. Tom, can you recognize the racket? Beautiful. Here we go.

Have you, have you started? No. I thought I was going to joke with Squirrely. These are great. Okay. So, all right, okay. Here we go. Yeah. Okay. So, all right, okay. Here we go.

Yeah. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Ooh. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Ooh. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah, ah.

Ah, ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo clues about your person, your activity and your thing. I'm gonna say it's Elvis riding a horse with an electric drill and I feel pretty confident about it. Maybe take in another another guess and I would say all three of them. Okay. Adele? It's not Adele. It's not Adele. It's not Adele. God, I'm panicking.

Oh, I've lost it. I've lost it. That's not Elvis. Hang on. Okay. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, It's real nice. It's good. Yeah. I don't think that sounds like I'm questioning myself now. No, no, no. Yeah, me too. It's so stressful.

Your instincts are right. Okay. Just keep going with it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, whoa, watch that hand. Very, very cheeky bit of mine there. I'm gonna allow it. Final answer. Yes. Is Beyonce fucking a guinea pig

with an electric toothbrush? No. No. It's really bad. Can you please, that's what you just typed into chat GPT, Tom. That's not actually the answer. No, that's not what it was. Any idea from the other team?

Have you got any idea? You got some ideas, some ideas. I feel like you might get the person. I think we know. It was very good. I believe it was Cher. It was Cher. Of course it was Cher.

Of course it was Cher. Any idea what the activity was or the thing? Well, this I'm a little bit more hazy on. Is it a trampoline? It is a trampoline, yes. Absolutely correct. So it's Cher on a trampoline. Throffing coffee? She's throffing milk, yes, for the milk stealer, yes! That is was good. Incredible.

That was very good. Incredible. Well done. Wow. I'm sorry. A whopping six points there. Very, very good. But are you as good at making the sounds, Clarke?

Let's find out. Finally, Ben, those are your three noises. Can Natalie get some points there? Because she was clearly doing it well, because someone else guessed it. She would have got points if she was on a different team, Tom. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair enough. That counts for something. That does count.

Okay, Clarky, you have your noises. Leah, can you solve the sounds? Off you go. I'm gonna do a little bit of a Oh god. It's so visual. And now the... Have you started Jeff? Okay. Okay. Any ideas Leah? Any ideas? Okay. okay. There's got to be something there. Okay. Because you really committed to it as well. Yeah, I definitely committed. That was incredible. Thank you.

God. Let's hear that person again, Clarke. Yeah, the person. Well... Nope. Going to dock your point there, Clarke, but it's okay. You can afford to lose points. That wasn't the person. Oh, well.

Oh, well. Oh, well. Oh, well. Oh, well. Move further away from it. Just more into your natural state. Oh, well. Oh, well.

Oh, well. Oh, well. Okay. Any idea who you think that might be? Which famous person do you think that might be? Is it Winston Churchill? I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that.

I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that.

I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. No, no, no, because that is Clarky. Okay, okay. God. One more time, one more time, Clarky, one more time. So sorry, so sorry. Well, well, well, well, well, well, yeah. Oh yeah, oh.

Oh, like a detective sort of, someone who looks like they're about to crack the case. I'm going on the journey. You are. You're actually going on the right journey, but you now have to narrow it down to someone who's played a detective. Okay. I have no idea.

I'm so sorry. Okay. What about the activity? We're all about to find out. Eating. I just feel like eating chalk. I think that's just me again. Yeah, that's just it. That's just me again, isn't it? So sorry. Is it a heavily pregnant woman eating chalk? Is that the answer?

And the... And oh, the final thing. Yeah. Hovering, hoovering. Hoovering? No, not hoovering. Electric toothbrush? No. It's not an electric toothbrush.

I've got nothing. Okay, no. Now I'm going to throw it over to the other team. Do you have any idea what noises Clarkie was making there? Any of any of the three? We're not confident, but I mean, we've come up with some guesses. We don't know if it's right. Here we go. That's the nature of a guess. Yeah, don't have to go to the room. Yeah, no, don't want to agree. Listen, there's no aggro. It's a friendly show. No judgment here. No judgment. Honestly, it's a friendly show, what are your guesses? I'd love to hear them. Beyonce fucking... No, go on. We've got a good guess for person. Okay.

Columbo. It's not Columbo, I'm afraid. It's not Columbo. Is it Clint Eastwood? No, it's not Clint Eastwood. Not that either. No, it's not that. Is he eating an apple? No.

Has he got a drill in his hand? He does have a drill. It's a pneumatic drill, but I'm going to give you the points for it nevertheless. Yes, it was of course... It's a very quiet pneumatic drill. It was of course Matthew McConaughey... I didn't read the pneumatic thing. ...squelching through mud with a pneumatic drill.

Let's hear it one more time, McConaughey. Oh, that's hard. There he is, there he is. There he is. ho, ho. There he is, there he is. There he is. It's good. There he is. It is good. So at the end of that round, producer Gwyn,

could you please make the noise of a man giving us the scores? Tom and Nat have six. Ben and Leah have 11. Wow. So Ben and Leah are in the lead. But either team can still hit the bug time when we return for part two. See you in a bit!

Welcome back to Flat Shares Slamdown! Flat Shares Slamdown! Now, before the break, Leah and Ben were in the lead. Yes! Is that still the case? Yeah, that's still the case. I'm afraid. We had a good interval, didn't we? No, the scores haven't moved and the Bug Hotel remains unbuilt.

Get a move on, guys. My aunt's coming to stay soon. OK. OK. Bye, my dad. OK, I'm having a nice time now. There we go. It's good stuff, isn't it?

There's nothing wrong with that, isn't there? It's good stuff. It's appalling. It's all right. So the audience are lovely, but the acts have turned. It's time to play round two flat games! Woo! Games!

Let's play together. Games! Let's play forever. Roll the dice, spin that thing. Put that there. Do as you're told. Games! If you lose you get nothing.

Games! If you win you get... Gold! If you win you get Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Listen to that! I know! Snulluk! Snulluk! Snulluk, am I pronouncing that right? What are you trying to say?

S-N-L-U-K, Snulluk! Listen to that, eh? We're still relevant. It's not too late. This week we are playing our version of Operation, which we're calling Britpop-eration. Oh yes please. Shall I explain the rules? Yeah, sorry. Britpop-eration is a silly little game where each player sings about an illness.

And the tune they're singing to is from a famous Brit Pop song. Their teammate must listen to the song and guess what ailment they are singing about. What? One point for a correct guess, but a huge 10 points for making it medically cool. Britannia! All the people, so many people, and they all go happy. Okay, that's all the time we,

because now we're putting these on YouTube, the copyright, well anyway, but let's see what we, Oh! They do, they do get us guys. You want to see the video, you have to stop singing. That's what I've been told. That's what I've been told by Mr. YouTube himself. Yes.

So the idea is we're going to be singing about an illness to a Brit pop tune. Let's start with Ben. And I can tell by the buttons on your corduroy trousers, you're ready to Britpop. You've got... That's unfair, is it? There's no need to that, is there? It was a different time. It was a different... You were allowed to... Different time? Everyone was reading Loaded! So we're going to start with you, Ben.

Now you've got Country House by Blur. Leah, what illness is Ben singing about? DJ Dr. Gwynne, dose me up. Oh, here I am, just singing a song, Doc thinking about it. Oh, I've drunk a lot of beer. Oh, Doc, you gotta help me at Hudson and Walker. Oh, I like to have lots of beef. Please, please don't make me stop doing that. But it preys on me. I'm getting the opposite of thin.

Oh yeah, I live in a house, a very big house and I've got bad foot. Ah, nice. That's really nice. I've got crystals in my blood and it hurts, oh yes sir. Oh, it's just a matter of time that I actually get this in real life. Ben Clark everybody. Wow, so good. So good. So good.

Sorry if that was a little close to hope. Too real. Too real, man. Honestly, I saw it on the paper and I was like, I knew it! Oh no, no! The results are in! So, first of all, Leah, what medical complaint is Clarky singing about? Now you've said that, it's going to sound really bad whatever I say. It's not like I'm saying, well, you know, you fit the bill. You fit the bill. But I think I'm almost 100% sure. Is it gout?

Is it gout? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. It is indeed gout. A lovely round of applause for Gout there Give it up for Gout guys Pour out some port for Gout And what are we gonna give you for performance though? It was good. Well, it was well I can't tell you how very distracted by just singing this. Yes. I know various point YouTube algorithm will notice that

They'll be docking you points, but I'm going to give you 8 out of 10. Nice. Real nice. Okay, Nat, you're up next. You have got Pulp's Disco 2000. I would love it if they were all about gout. No, that's what I call gout.

All your favourite primers. Gout, gout, let it all out. Take me Gout. Do do do do do do do. You know they bring out those albums for like Father's Day. That's what it should be. It should just be all Gout themed songs. That's what I call Gout.

I listen to it. Gout, lift my feet up, I can't. Nice, nice. This one is not Gout, it's Disco 2000. Tom, what medical complaint is Natalie Speaks singing about? DJ Dr. Gwynn, write us a prescription for some good times. I first got it as a kid. I didn't know what to do. My mom thought I was unfit.

I used to run and collapse in a ball. And then we went to the doctor. And I was really out of breath. And they gave me a large blue pump, which I've kept for the rest of my life. Bye bye bye. Alice wants me. There it is. Which I've kept for the rest of my life Bye bye bye That was smart, Spank, there it is I left it in my pocket

I carried it in my bag And then I felt so good all the time And I said, I can run up mountains and valleys, I can do anything I want to do. I'm not out of breath anymore, thank you doctor, I'm sure. Oh yes, great! Yes! Wow. Lovely.

That is how it's done. Yes! Wow. Lovely. That's how it's done. That's better than the original. That was good man. I'm really out of breath. You lived it, you went method. I love it. Thank you. What's the condition Tom?

Oh god, it's so good. Asthma. It's so good, it's asthma. And I'm going to give you a full 10 out of 10 because that was fantastic. So good, asthma. It's so good, it's asthma. That's the thing. And I'm going to give you a full 10 out of 10, because that was fantastic. Lovely from that cast there. All right, Leah, you are up next. You have got, you've got, Roll With It by Oasis.

Clarky, what medical situation is Leah singing about? DJ, Dr. Quinn, give us the prognosis. Sorry, I mean oasis. Excuse me. That's all right, mate. You do your own fucking show down there. Whatever you like. Shit hole. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

That's alright, would you like to hear it one more time? One more time, I'm so sorry, so sorry. It's such a good intro, bear's repeating them. I wouldn't worry about it, that's what the boys will be like probably in July. Go again, go again, Bono, go again. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Method, I have gone Method, you're absolutely right. I'm so sorry. Okay, sorry, sorry, sorry. Okay. Now the sun is out, I'm gonna have a bad time, I know you think it's great, but I'ma feel

so much worse. I'm not going on the grass, don't put me on the grass, no it's fucking grass, I hate the bloody grass. I'm gonna sneeze a bit, I'm gonna cough a bit. And then my eyes are gonna itch so much. And I am gonna maybe take a tiny little white pill, but one. Not like that though.

Steady on, mate, you're pregnant. I'm gonna sneeze. I'm gonna sneeze. I'm gonna sneeze. I'm gonna sneeze. I'm gonna sneeze. My throat will itch, my eyes will scratch a bit. And then I'm gonna be so sad in the sun. And then I'm gonna cry and cry some more. Why am I crying so much? This is unrelated. I think I need a different doctor. Yeah!

Oh. Oh. Emotional. What? Emotional. I think you went places there. You really did. The big question is why are you crying so much? Presumably it's a... I don't know. I don't want to... Hormonal? Could it be that? Could it be that as well? The big question is why are you crying so much? No, sorry. Presumably it's a hormonal issue.

Could be that as well. Exactly. Why am I crying so much? We can't answer that question, but we can answer the question. Clarky, what medical complaint, what main one? What initial one? What do we start with? Hay fever.

It was hay fever. It was hay fever. It was hay fever, of course it was. Into the menopause. Into the menopause. Hay fever. Isn't a laughing matter. And it was, thank you Tom. I don't think you're allowed to do the joke and tell people off for laughing at it.

Yes, yes. Yes, yes. Guys, seriously. It's not a laughing matter. What am I gonna give you? I'm gonna give you, I'm gonna give you seven out of 10 though for the performance. Seven out of 10. And finally, Tom, you've got Alright by Supergrass,

which is always what sets off my hay fever. Why, Tom, why am I crying? Tom, you've got to tell me why am I crying all the time? Tom, what is it? Now, you've got to tell us what medical condition is Tom singing about. Now, for the final time tonight, DJ Dr. Gwynn, pop on your rubber gloves and probe my brits. Thank you. I like food, ice cream, and I eat a lot of ice cream. Plenty of sugar, it's not all right. There's two types of this thing, and no joy will bring me a pie.

It's not all right. My insulin is not so sure. I can see that it's dropped. I'm in trouble a lot, I like ice cream, I need pie I hope I do not die And me chillin', I'm not alright Yeah! Woo!

You got it. Oh great, great, great. I must have written down gout twice. I can't believe it. I don't know, before we listened to the tracks and you were like, it's great this one because it's right in my range. And then your range went up three octaves! No, you shot for the moon and we appreciate it. But first, now, what medical complaint was Tom, what medical condition was Tom singing about? Diabetes. It was of course diabetes.

Give it up for diabetes. Not as popular as goat, of course. Not with our audience, anyway. Goat proud, goat proud. What are we going to give you for performance? I mean, it was, it was good. It certainly was. The room filled with dogs. I surprised myself. I loved it, I loved it.

Well, you know what, I loved it as well and I'm going to give you a 10. It's very kind. Very kind. So at the end of that round, Producer Gwyn, give us those scores to the tune of Parklife by Blur! While I work out Tom and Nat's score, Ben and Leah have... While I work out Tom and Nat's score, Ben and Leah have 28 points. Tom and Natalie have 6 plus 5 plus 5 plus 5 plus 5 plus 5. 25 points! There he was. There he was. How did he get away with that one? I don't know. But he did! He's good, he's crafty. So to quote Rip Pop also rams the seahorses, love is the law. Well I don't know about that lads,

you've clearly never been to the Haightfield Haven, there's the court of the Beef Brothers! Well if you've got a problem, I'm calling a problem. If you've got a problem, call in a beef. If you've got a beef, maybe we can help you. Beef, brother, sorting out your beef. Yes, it's Beef Brothers, where each week we ask our panelists to sort out a flat-share based beef. And today's one comes from Mark, the fiance. No, it doesn't really. It comes from...

It comes from... My dishwasher is a shit show. I have my cereal with sort of grey milk. No, we've got Robin. Robin is in the audience. Robin, are you there? Hello. Hello Robin. Hello Robin. Now Robin Wright. Get ready for this. Not Robin Wright. Married to Sean Penn, of course. Robin. Robin Wright. Robin... Robin Wrights. I...

Imagine being up there all the fucking time. Imagine being crawling around in that mind palace. Trapped in 1998. You cry a lot, don't you? Why do I always cry in Clarky? I've got to find out. If anyone wants to know, it's pappysflatshire at gmo.com. You cry a lot, don't you? Why do I always cry and clarky? I've got to find out. If anyone wants to know, it's pappysflatshareatgmail.com. I recently found out, writes Robin,

I recently found out me and my housemate, who is my ex-boyfriend, have been sharing a toothbrush for the past month. He thinks it's fine. I think he should buy me a new toothbrush since he dumped me Okay Who's right am I on luckily Ben? Ben and Leah you are on Robin's side That's what I said

Tom Tom and Natalie you are on the side of the ex-boyfriend and toothbrush share her So before we make our cases, let's have a cross-examination now. I assuming Robin, you're here, but the ex is not here. No. Fair enough. Shame. Has anybody got any questions for Robin who's here tonight? Can we give your ex-boyfriend a name? Doesn't have to be his real name. I'll give you his real name.

His name's Ross. Name's Ross. They were on a break. 1998. Yeah, I'm telling you. His name's Ross. They were on a break. 1998. Always there. He never left. He never left. Unbelievable.

Okay, so his name's Ross. Who bought the toothbrush, please? He bought it in a multi-... No further questions. Interesting. It was in a multi-pack that he bought at the time we were still in a relationship. How many toothbrushes were in the multi-pack?

Like four. What happened to the other three? We used them previously. This was the last one in the pack. Right. How long have you been together? Forty years? Laughter Tom, your mouth is disgusting.

Yeah, I was very telling. Laughter Forty years? You're also scrubbing the bogs with it, right? Laughter From your fourth toothbrush? Not our fourth toothbrush. We had two each up until this one.

Okay. We weren't previously sharing the toothbrushes. There were four toothbrushes? Yes. You got through two. Yeah. Ross got through one. Yes.

And he was on his second toothbrush. Sorry, is this a court case or the fucking 1% Club? I'm so confused. or the fucking 1% club. LAUGHTER Ross is travelling at 20 miles an hour? To the dentist? OK, it's the only toothbrush you've got left and he is assisting you both use it. You think he should buy you another toothbrush. Any questions for Robin? Clarky? What's the kind of... Is there a plan for the living situation here can

Clarkie move in he has got gal but it's very quiet he's only got one usable tooth don't worry too much about it. I'm alright. I only use it once a week at times. We're stuck living together until the end of July when our lease runs out. Oh, you're about month-ish. And when did you break up? March. End of March. How are you, darling? Are you okay?

I'm alright. I'm dissociating. It's good. That's healthy. That's the best way to do it, famously. Okay, that's good. This is the first time we've had an empath on the show. It's doing like straight down the middle stand up comedian sociopaths. I was about to fucking ask if they were still fucking. Then you go and ask how she is. Can't do that now, can I? Oh god. And how are you?

Are you okay? how she is. Can't do that now, can I? Oh, God. And how are you? Are you OK? Goddamn, Holly Willoughby over there. It's true. Oh, really? How do you feel sort of morally about the financial aspect of the process? I mean, toothbrushes are not expensive. I feel more morally justified to have the toothbrush. It should be my toothbrush. Okay, it's more about the...

Yeah, it's about the morals. Yeah, yeah, understandable. I can afford a new toothbrush. I earn more than him. Oh, yes! It's 2023. It's 2023, understandable. I couldn't afford a new toothbrush. I earn more than him. Oh, yes. It's 2023. It's 2023, baby.

It's 2023, guys. Female boss. So... Okay, love that. The logistics of this is still bothering me. There were four toothbrushes. Oh, I'm sorry. Were they different colors?

Yeah. Right. What colors were they? Hey, this is like when they brought out the gloves for OJ. It matters, okay? The toothbrush we're currently sharing is pink. Right. I don't remember the rest of them, but I assume like-

How convenient. Your blues, your greens. Colorblind all of a sudden, are you? Hey, hey, hey, hey. But I do understand what Tom is saying. You started off with four, you had one each. You used the two. Yeah. But we were on different toothbrush cycles, so...

Did you not sink up living together? You didn't sink up. You would clean your teeth Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday. No, I would change my toothbrush more often than he changed his toothbrush. I believe that. I believe that. We're starting to see why he dumped you, basically.

You're high maintenance. I bet you brush it in the morning and the evening as well, don't you? Oh, yeah. I'm onto you, Robin. I get you brush it in the morning and the evening as well, don't you? Oh yeah. I'm onto you, Robin. I get you. Yeah, no, no, I completely understand. You take care of yourself. He doesn't care quite so much. Right, okay, have we got any further questions for Robin?

Anyone got any further questions? Someone in front of him says... And he's here tonight, Ross everybody! Is it a one bedroom flat? It's a two bedroom flat but we are still sharing a bedroom because there's no bed in the other room at the moment. Oh no. Oh mate, this is really... How many beds are in the bedroom? One bed. So you're sharing a bed? It's not bunk beds. It's not a beds room. It's not bunk beds. We always had twin beds. Are you sharing a bed? At the moment, yes. I'm Robin's sister. I just want to say no one called this witness. No, I want to hear what I want to say.

But then we're hearing from Ross's cousin. There is there is a sofa bed in the second bedroom, but it hurts his back. Does it hurt her back? Oh baby. No, wait, hang on. He made those choices. He... I'm so sorry. He broke up with her. I just think he should get out of her bedroom. No, you know what? You're absolutely right. You're looking out for your sister. You're a good person. But can someone take the microphone off of her immediately?

Now, hopefully that is... No, thank you. That's very good. Very good for sticking up for your sister there. Hopefully that is enough information to make the cases. Leah, you're up first to begin what I believe is an open, closed, shut beef case. You've got one minute to begin your case.

For the prosecution, you're on Robin's side. Your time starts now. closed shut beef case. You've got one minute to begin your case for the prosecution you're on Robin's side. Your time starts now. I am honored first of all to be representing my client Robin this evening she has handled herself with grace dignity and decorum despite the bed-sharing allegations and rumors that have been flying around this room quite aggressively. I believe that you should absolutely do as you please with all of your money, the thousands of millions that you do have under said bed, I assume not in a bank.

We don't seem to be the type that would trust a bank and I like that about you, Robin. I think you deserve every penny. You deserve every penny. You deserve every penny. Sorry, Tom's just water-boarding himself off. Tom's snort-laughed at your bank joke. You deserve full custody of as many toothbrushes as you want. May I even suggest, may I even suggest

you deserve an electric toothbrush? Because as we said, it is 2023. And I will be encouraging the defendant Ross to provide that for you in the custody agreement because that only feels right to me that he should with his pennies that he gets a month, that he should provide you with an electric toothbrush. We've all seen the adverts.

10, eight out of ten dentists would recommend. Wait, I'm gonna say, is this a hashtag ad? It might be, it may well be. Use the promo code, go to Leah's Insta. Leah Davis everybody, fantastic. Very strong opening prosecution from Leah Davis. Now, Nat, you are opening the case for the defence. Your minute begins now.

This is an open and shut case, actually. I feel that obviously you earn a lot of money. You are living in a house with your ex-boyfriend who you obviously still love. You are sleeping in the same bed as your ex-boyfriend and using the poor man's toothbrush. I suggest as you are openly talking about your finances, you go out and buy yourself another one and leave this poor man alone. Doosh, doosh, doosh, doosh, doosh, do-do-do-do. Oh my god, that was fantastic. This is opening up again, isn't it? That's what we were hoping for.

Robin, how do you think it's going so far? I feel torn apart. I know. By the prosecution. As well you should. And you've got gingivitis. Objection, Your Honor. Sorry, I should have done that to the shoot of a Shed 7 song.

So we're going to now conclude the case for the prosecution. Clarky, you have one minute. Remember, you are on Robin's side. She's already told you. She's torn apart. Bring it home, Clarky. Your minute begins now. Well, first of all, I would like to cede my remaining time to Robin's sister.

I feel like she was cut short, cut off in a prime actually. Look, I mean, you know, come on guys. Sharing a tooth, I don't share a toothpaste with my current girlfriend. Should have called a current actually. You don't share a toothpaste with her? A toothbrush with my life partner. After tonight, I don't share a bed with her either. Oh, dear God.

She doesn't listen. To anything. Wow. Clarky, you're going to hate this, but that's your time, mate. That's your time. Whoa, what a twist! What a turn! From the jaws of victory. Oh no. I'd like to know over all those sort of beef brothers we've done since like 2011, how much time you've spent to saying listen, right? Okay. I look forward to it.

Listen, come on, right, right. Guys, listen. Let's break it down. Listen, guys, listen. Come on, right, have I done my time? Tom, you're going to conclude the case for the defence. Now, I've got to ask you, are you going to do it as yourself? No, I'm going to do it in the style of a John Grisham defence lawyer from the Deep South, Mr. Fanshawe Standon. Fanshawe Standon, presiding and providing your minute should you need it begins now. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. Whoa.

Matthew McConaughey. Be-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e Hey, hey, the defense rest your mind. Hearing them, their big lawyers there from the big city with their fan dangled toothbrushes and all that. Round here we simple folk. You grow one nail, give it a scratch. Oh. Hey, don't let that influence your decision. You haven't got a tooth scratching nail.

What's happening? Hearing them there robbing there, hearing her predicaments, and there Ross kind of got me thinking about an old lesson we used to learn in church. Four toothbrushes, two mouths, one couple. Kind of got me thinking about the problem of Father Jan. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. On his way to market, four animals, a dog, a hog, finds a log. Can't put the dog on the log with the hog. Dog would fuck the hog.

That dog loved hogs. Can't put a hog on a log with a hog, it would fuck the log. That hog loved logs. Makes you think, don't it? No further questions, you all. It certainly makes you think. Now, listen guys, listen, all right? Now I can't make the decision myself

because I am just of course a hog loving log fucker. So instead, I'm going to ask our live Phoenix audience to decide if you think that Robin and therefore Leah and Ben is in the right, then I would like you to applaud now. Okay, okay, okay, but if you think... That's just her sister. Very good though. But if you think Nat and Fanshawe and Ross is in the right, they made their bet the best case, please applaud now.

That's toxic Maxi-Lindsey for you, isn't it? There with all the, yeah, the blokes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think that has to go to Robin there. Congratulations to Ben and to Leah and of course to Robin and her lovely sister. Well done Robin. How do you feel about the result? I feel well represented by one of the team. Oh bad luck Leah, bad luck. Well done to Clarky, right? You tried, Meg, you tried. Well, a big round of applause for Robin, everybody. Fantastic.

There is one more round to go before we find out who will be installing the Bug Hotel. But first, you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave. It's the Quickfire Round Jingle! Woo! This is the Quickfire Round It's the round that goes really quickly which is why it's always so amusing that it has a long introduction ooooo funny it has a long introduction though the round is really quick

yes this introduction, it goes on for a long time I guess it's kind of old fashioned like that It's the kind of thing that you don't see very much anymore. Cause it's too long to be clipped up and put on socials. Clip it. You gotta clip things up and put them on socials. Is all anybody says. Nice job. Oh, that was good. socials is all anybody says.

Oh that was good. Yes, I quite enjoyed that. But could you clip it up and put it on socials? Oh that was quite a, yes, that was quite an interesting experience. Oh my goodness, you clip it up and put it on socials! I quite enjoy that little interaction. Rock on! Rock on! Things have gotta go on TikTok. Follow now. Things have gotta go on Instagram. Things have gotta be liked and subscribed.

But not this jingle. No, fuck you, not this jingle, no fuck you not this jingle This jingle will not ever be clipped up and put on your social That's a guarantee, cause it's eight minutes long So fuck you world in many ways this is a bit like that Gil Scott Heron song the revolution will not be televised? Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo clipped up and it will not be put on socials it won't become a real for real or a fucking story with some whopping and name title like intro goes on too long exclamation mark question mark and then a question in the comments below did your intro ever go on too long?

What's wrong with us? What's wrong with you? What has gone wrong with us? What have we done to our brains? And if this intro was clipped up and put on socials, we'd have to do that thing where you show something from the end, at the beginning Ooh, yeah, it's weird that Cause our brains have all turned to mush

They've all turned to fucking mush So at the start, you would just hear this bit Me going, whoa, whoa, this intro's gone on long You would just hear this bit. Me going, whoa, whoa, this intro's gone on wrong. And then that would be at the start of the thing. Ooh, are you OK? And then you see it again at the end. Oh, my fucking god. Anyway, don't forget to follow us on Instagram and TikTok.

And fucking YouTube and Vine and god knows what. Here's the quickfire round. Oooooooooh, like and subscribe. Here's the quick fire round. And I'm going to dig a pit and live in it. Oh no. Tom, cheer us all up again. Don't you knock your 3310 again.

Take us back to a simpler time. Yes, this is the quick fire round and as our show is all about bugs, I'm gonna ask our panelists to increase the bee population by replacing all consonants in their answers with the letter B. Does that make sense? Or should I say, Boab, Bab say Boab bab babe baby instead of buzzers

I like to shout out your first names Ben and Leah let's say yours be a beer oh yeah absolutely go for it Tom and Nat Bob Bob and Bob I like a lot. I smell a sitcom. That's a sitcom waiting to happen, isn't it? Yes. Okay, we've... Let's see. Even as a joke, refuse to commit. Tom could sing the intro to your sitcom.

I actually really loved that and I'd like it. I'd like that on my phone. I'd listen to it in the car. No, I actually really loved that and I'd like it. I'd like that on my phone. I'd listen to that in the car. No, I genuinely really loved it. Well, you can't. We put it out as a podcast. Do you? Yeah. All right, here are your questions. Who is the lead singer of the pop band U2? Who is the lead singer of the pop band U2? Ben. Ben. Bobbo.

Bobbo is correct. Complete the title of the Lady Gaga song, Blank Romance. Bab, B. I think Bab was first. Have we got a buzzer or something? What am I doing here? You're just shouting the word Bab out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm not just shouting. Yeah, yeah, you're just shouting. Fine. I didn't know if it was in terms. No, no, no, no, you shouted out and I said- We shout it proud and loud. Yeah, you shout it proud and loud. Yeah, yeah, you're just shouting. Fine. Yeah, yeah. I didn't know if it was in terms. No, no, no, no. You shouted out and I said... We shout it proud and loud. Yeah, you shout it proud and loud. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bab! Bab. It's also... That's your name. That's what he's... And it's also the answer is correct. That's it. Yes.

Oh, yeah. It's both. Name the long yellow edible fruit that is a good source of potassium. Bababa! Watch these for the half hours. We've got the millions in. Which movie directed by Sean Baker took home five Oscars including Best Picture at the

2025 Academy Awards? Which movie directed by Sean Baker took home five Oscars including Best Picture at the 2025 Academy Awards? It was a Bobba of course. By which three letters is the United States of America known? Bob. Bob. Bob-a.

Almost. Almost. I'll throw it over. UBA. UBA is correct. Yeah. What is the name of the UK slash Australian band who released songs such as staying alive? Drive talking and night fever. Yeah the BBs

Beep-beep the BB is correct. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes She's locked in you're locked in in. She's in the zone. For which sport is Harry Kane best known? Boob. Boobab. Boobabab? Boobab. Boobab?

Boobab. Final answer is correct. Who released songs such as Texas Hold'em, Crazy in Love and all the single ladies? Beb. Beb. Beb. Beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb-beb- I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Bebobay. Bebobay is correct, yes. Nice. Which North American country borders the United States, Guatemala, and Belize? Oh, I'm out.

Bob. Bob? Bebobo. It's correct, yes. Bebobo. Bebobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobob Beep, bop, bop, be-bee-bole. No, the YouTube reasons we cannot carry that up. Which TV show now in its third season was created by Mike White and follows a group of rich holidaymakers in a lot of...

Bob? Buh, bibe, bobeb. Ooh, bobeb. Yeah, bobeb, bobeb, bobeb, bobeb, bobeb, bobeb. Which first name... Beep, bop, bop, be-bee-bole. Which first name links the surnames Marley, Hoskins, Odenkirk, and Dole? B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B- Boob, boob, boob, boob. Is correct. Nice. That's, sorry, what was the question? Just what you type in the chat, GPT.

That's the end of the round and the end of the game. So before we find out the final scores, Leah and Natalie, do you have anything you would like to plug? Anything coming up in the future? Where could people find you that sort of thing, Leah? We're replacing all your confidence. At Leah Davis on Instagram, at Leah Davis Comedy on TikTok. We clip it up real nice.

We are clipping away, baby. So many clips. So many clips. And Nat, where can people find you? You've got a podcast as well? Yeah, it's called, no, I'm joking. My podcast is called Life with Nat. You'll hear me and Mark on the Scraping the Barrel episodes

if you want to hear him. Scraping the Barrel. Come me off a bit more. You couldn't book a guest at the last minute, you scraped the barrel. Is that the idea? That is the idea. I love it.

Life with Nat and Nat Cass one. Fantastic. We're going to be at the Latitude Festival. If you're there at the Latitude Festival, we will see you there. We're also at the Cheerful Earful Festival in October. So see you there as well. Producer Gwyn, this is a very exciting moment.

Let's hear those final scores. This is very exciting. Thank you. Ben and Leah, well, yeah, you're welcome. Can you tell your voice? This is very exciting. Better. Ben and Leah have 31, but the winners are Toan, Nat,

I've got Bob and Bab written down with 34. Oh my goodness. So Ben and Leah are installing the bug hotel, whilst Tom and Nat, Bab and Bob are getting bug-eyed with me. Thanks to our guests, Leah Davis and Matt Cassidy. We've been Pappies. See you next time on Flat Shares Slamdown! Pappies Flat Shares Slamdown featuring

Matthew Croffey, Ben Coughlin, Tom Harington, special guest Nat Kassidy and Leah Davis. It was devised by Pappies and Ben Walker, set in collectible teasers by Emma Corsham, and by that mystery of Bryn Weath Davis. It was produced by Emma Corsham. Big thanks to all the people at the Phoenix, and to all the wonderful folks who get to the show and to you at home for listening.

Happy's Flat Shares Slam Down, it's a secret news production for Acast and the internet. Cheers everyone. Bye! Bye! Yes, there it is, there it was. Lovely. What a time we had.

Two fantastic guests go along and watch. Natalie Cassidy's got a podcast which you can listen to. I don't know if you can watch it as well, but go and have a listen to that because she's absolutely terrific. And Leah is on Capitol Extra. Yeah, exactly. So you can listen to her on Capitol Extra. In fact, she was racing off. She was like, we had to finish the show at a certain time. I think we finished at 9.30 and she was on air at 10. I don't know. I should really have listened to that night show to see if any of the kind of Pappy's energy bled into the Captelextra. I can't imagine it did. Is the quick fire jingle on the playlist now? Fingers crossed. We'll happily take B or C playlist. Just get it on the

playlist. Yeah, absolutely. The whole playlist. By the way, as a DJ, that's what you want. You want a nice long song because it gives you a guaranteed toilet break. Right. What you don't want is these, you know, songs nowadays, they're two minutes long because people are just thinking about TikTok, right? Two minutes long, two and a half minutes long. It's simply not enough time. Yeah. You know, you've got to line up three, sometimes four songs. Whereas one quick fire jingle is all your Right? Two minutes long, two and a half minutes long. It's simply not enough time. You know, you've got to line up three, sometimes four songs. Whereas one quick fire jingle is all your toilet needs. That's going to cover everything.

That'll cover you for the whole night. You can have a shower, you can do whatever you want. Perfect for your ablutions. Absolutely. Well, famously the Hornet used to play the end by the doors when we had a radio show together, just so he didn't have to talk for seven minutes. So, there we go. The oldest trick in the book. Well, thank you for listening to the episode. As we said earlier, spread the word, whether that's online, liking and subscribing or retweeting or reposting or by going up to somebody in the street and saying listen to this. Our method. We're not, we're not O-F-A with technology.

So if you could go up to someone, go up to someone who looks a bit like you, I don't know, flat cat whip it, that kind of thing, shake them, shake them by the beard and say, you should also be listening to this podcast. And when they say what's a podcast, just both pushes us into traffic. Absolutely right. Today's episode was produced by Emma Caution. Caution team! Cheers everyone. Bye!