Pappy's Flatshare - Ep 1523: How to take a selfie like a megastar (by three guys who aren’t)

Episode Date: July 8, 2025

What does it take to be a huge celebrity these days? Is there anyone in the world who doesn't know who David Hasselhoff is? And are we about to be sued?To get episodes early and ad-free - PLUS a bonus episode every week - join our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareTo watch full episodes of Pappy’s Flatshare find us on YouTube: www.youtube.com/@pappysflatshareAnd follow us onInstagram: instagram.com/pappyscomedyTikTok: www.tiktok.com/@pappysflatshareFacebook: www.facebook.com/PappysFlatshare/And X: twitter.com/pappystweet Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greetings, listener dear. I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I am Matthew and welcome to a very exciting episode of Papi's Flat Share. Papi's Flat Share. You know the drill. Clarky, Crossbow, Parry, they sit down and they yum yum yum yum yum yum. That sounds like we're eating some food. Or each other. And that happens after we've recorded every episode. If you ever feel like we're rushing through the episode or alternatively really slowing it down, it's because it's because daddy's hungry or daddy's had sufficient. Thank you very much. Daddy hasn't got the hollow legs he thought he did. Well anyway, we sit around and talk for a bit, I guess,

is what we're trying to say. Oh, right. OK, yeah, that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that we do. We do indeed. That we do. What fun we had. Things we discussed.

Things we discussed. Stories we told. Stories we told. Some little show busy stories this time around. Really, though? Yeah, some little show busy stories. OK. So you're going to find out about some of the top celebs of the day,

some of which we name, some of which we don't. But if you think you have an idea of who they are, then get in touch with us. Pappiesflatshare at gmail.com. Yeah. Wow. That's interesting. And if you are famous and you think it's about you, then contact us. Yes. Not your lawyer. Yeah. Contact us and we'll, we'll straighten it all out. Listen. Yes. We've been running Tatl Life. Okay. That is, that was us. We were the three vegan influencers who've been running Tatl Life. But listen, can we just, can we just stop the lawsuits now? Okay. Let's just nip this in the bud. One lawsuit is fine. You've bankrupted us. Great. Congratulations. The old phrase, one lawsuit's fine. One lawsuit. One lawsuit and I've had sufficient, thank you.

One lawsuit and daddy's no longer hungry. One lawsuit, shame on me. Anyway, enjoy the episode. Obviously, if you want to support us in our Patreon journey, then get onto Patreon and send us some cash. You can do that at patreon.com forward slash Papi's Flat Share. And for all that money that you send us, we'll give you extra episodes every week. Yes.

We'll give you discounts. We'll give you fun frolics. And you get to be part of the community of listeners who support us on our journey. And if you if you yeah, yeah, if you join the highest tier, of course, we will come round and yam you. You can get joined there during the thousand pounds a month tier. The yam tier. The yam tier. Yeah.

Yam getting yam. Yam getting yam. It's absolutely wild. There's no takers so far. No takers so far. Well, there's three takers, but we're already... We're already givers as well. Yeah, so we're the givers and the takers. And we're going to stop that now, because Tom has just picked up a coaster off of Marky's coffee table and snapped it in half. So, daddy's hungry.

So, clearly daddy's hungry. We need to get yam in. You need to get listening. Have a wonderful time. And we'll see you on the other side. Pappy's Flat Share Talking about whatever. Pappy's Flat Share

And we've been doing this forever. Happy's flat share. But we don't really live together. Happy's flat share. Yeah. So the other day I was working on a show. Yeah, arse. I was working on a show and afterwards.

Another show from this one. Other than this, yeah. You've not read the contract? No. OK, OK. Here's a fun fact about me. I can't read. Yeah. Yeah. But boy can you write. I can really, yes. I've never, I've never read a word of the stuff I've written, but people tell me it's okay. Yeah. I've managed to forge out quite a career as somebody who can't read, but I can boy can I write. So I was writing on a show and I was working on this show.

And afterwards the audience was going up to some of the people who'd been on stage on the show itself and asking for selfies. And they were being very obliging, posing for selfies. And then one guy said, oh yeah, can I take a picture of you to one of the celebs? guy said, Oh yeah, can I take a picture of you to one of the, one of the celebs? And, and then it became apparently didn't mean with you. Yeah. And I think I'd never thought about this before, but there's something about the, the, you being in the selfie that makes it fine. Whereas can I take a picture of you is really odd. Yeah. Wow. Okay. And I mean, it's this new suit. Do you ask a lot of people?

Well, I guess it's weird, isn't it? But there's a distinction. Yeah. Even though you're, it's a recent distinction, I think. Oh, definitely. So like, cause it never, it would be okay. Like I think it used to be okay. To say, can I take a photo of you? No, I think okay. To say, can I take a photo of you? No, I think you'd always say, can someone take a photo of the two of us together? It's weirder not to ask. And take a photo.

I'm taking a photo of you. Yeah. Yeah. It's a statement. To say, I'm taking a photo of you and then click and then walk off. I'm taking a photo of you. Yeah, no, but I think that's, there's something odd about it. I don't think there was, I don't think there was ever a time when you could say,

can I take a photo of you and not be in the photo yourself if you're meeting somebody? Yeah. I guess like if you were in like a costume or like if you would, what? So you dress up to ask someone to take a photo of you? If you're dressed as a photographer, if you look like Dennis Hopper in Apocalypse Now. You're holding one of those big wooden puff of smoke. Watch the birdie! Can I take a photo of you? Yeah, okay. But a selfie makes it kind of okay.

I think it does, doesn't it? Definitely. I think a selfie makes it fine. Which is weird, isn't it? But why is that? Why is it? Because you don't want to be in the photo. I mean, I guess it's saying, oh, I met this person.

Yeah, that's what I always think the function is, is like, look, it's me meeting that person. Yes, that's- Whereas the other one, you go like, look. Yeah, I know who that is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've seen them. I could get that picture from Google Images. Yeah, I took Yeah. I've seen them. I could get that picture from Google images.

Yeah, I took that. I've got no evidence of that. If you were in the photo, I'd know. Have you ever, do you, have you ever asked for selfies? Yeah, I've asked for a few in my life. Yeah. I don't think I have. Have you never had a selfie? No.

I'll do you one. I've done- You know what? Just stay there. I'll take a photo of you. Yeah. Click. That was definitely taken. I've done it the worst way round of, do you want a selfie with me? Oh no.

Tom, Tom you mustn't. Please, okay. I have. There's not one bit of this story I don't want to hear. So go back as far as you want. You can't start too early in this story. Take your time. Lick sure you ate in this one time.

I do it quite often. What? I'm like, just in case people might. Takes the awkwardness away for them. What? For who? Go on, tell me. Give me the last time you said to someone, do you want a selfie? Oh, it's only like after flat slam records and stuff like that.

It's like when people come up and say, come up and ask, might come up and ask for a photo, but I will never know. People come up and say, I enjoyed the show and I'll go, yeah, do you want to? And they say, no, I didn't enjoy the show that much. Okay. Okay. Okay. But I'm going to have to delete a few photos of my lunch. There you go. That's gone. Yeah. I guess I can have this. I think it's kind of quite nice to offer in some ways. I imagine if you're, you know, an A-list celebrity is quite nice to offer. Yeah. Or if you're an A-hole, turn to A. One of two A's.

Would you like a selfie? Real celebrities, by the way, do you know how they do selfies? What's that? They take your phone off you. They know their way around every phone. So when, when one of our friends started to get a bit famous, right. Um, he's right here, but I don't want to embarrass him. He, he was chatting to, he was chatting to Ed Sheeran. He'd like met him on the Jonathan Ross show or something. And Ed Sheeran said, here's what you do is

you learn your way around every possible type of phone because you want to make that interaction as quick as possible. You take the phone, you take the selfie, you hand the phone back, you move on to the next person. Otherwise they're a bit nervous. They're fiddling around with their phone. They're kind of, Oh, I don't know how to use this. I'm told, sorry. You know, if you've ever asked for a selfie, you wouldn't know about this. You're always offering, you know, that sometimes you go, Oh gosh, I'm getting a bit nervous. And the only reason people get nervous around me is because I've made them take a photo. And also you've done it on your phone. Another one for me.

But yeah, that's how you do it. So what you're saying is shearing knows his way around every type of phone. You put any kind of phone from the last, I mean, how long has he been famous for? 10 years, 15 years from the last sort of decade and a half, he knows his way. He could be on You Bet. That's what I was about to say. I was literally going to go there. You bet.

I was about to say, do you know what show I really miss? You Bet. I think it's coming back. Is it? I think it's coming back. Yeah, he's writing on it. I signed an NDA, but I think it's coming back. It might be coming.

Yeah. Of course it is. Sheeran on You Bet doing 30 selfies in a minute and a half. Because I think if you bring back You Bet now, it has to be celebs doing things. Right? Because I don't think anyone cares that members of the public can do odd stuff. It has to be a, it has to be a, I genuinely think that's true. We're so used to sort of getting like access

to celebrities life. It has to be, that's what it has to be. Has to be, did you know, you know, like, it's what they do on chat shows, isn't it? Did you know that this person can play the lute? Did you know that Daniel Radcliffe can rap? Exactly. It's like that kind of thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you want to bet on it? You bet. Not a fan of Radcliffe's rap. Exactly. It's like that kind of thing. Yeah. Do you want to bet on it? You bet. Not a fan of Radcliffe's rap. I just don't understand why that's a thing. You're like, oh, it's someone else's song. Okay. Hang on. Hang on. Let's say it. Clarky was down to the last two to play Harry Potter. Which is weird. They put him next to Ron Weasley and this is going to seem odd. Really weird. which is weird. They put him next to Ron Weasley and this is going to seem odd. Really weird. That's what I let him down. A guy who looks like a combination of Ron Weasley and Draco Malfoy cannot play Harry Potter. So do you not like, why do you not like... Listen, rapping somebody else's rap is still rapping. It's still hard to do. Yeah. Oh no. When he does that, the ABCs of, is it the ABCs of rap? That's

the one. That's, he's really good at doing that. He's really skillful. Yeah. Oh. He's just not as good as Clarky doing it. It's the green, he's the green eyed monster. I just don't get that. He's multi-talented. He's literally Swiss Army man. Festival alert, festival alert. I am interrupting this for a festival alert. I love it. That's not the latest Daft Punk song.

That's me saying we've got some news about a festival we're performing at very soon. That's right, we're going to be at the Latitude Festival, which happens in July. I wish I had more details than that. Yeah, we'll take July. But it happens in July and it happens in Henin Park in Suffolk. And we're going to be at the listening post, as we have been for the last few years, always fun at the listening post. We're going to be there on Saturday night at about seven o'clock. And that's the 26th of July.

Oh, Clarky's got the info there. 26th of July, we're going to be there on stage doing a Flat Share Slam Down and we've got two fantastic guests. It's what we would call a collab between one of my favourite podcasts, Single Ladies in Your Area, which is Amy Bedhill and Harriet Kemsley. Two wonderful friends, two brilliant comedians. It's a superb podcast if you've not listened to that. Oh, that's going to be fun. Big plug for that. It's great. But we're going to be on stage with them at the listening post on Saturday night. We would love as many Pappies fans to come along because let's face

it, it's a big tent and quite often it's just an excuse for people to get out the rain. So if we could have a nice base of love, some people who love Pappies, who love the podcast, yeah, you need to love the podcast if you know the podcast. Come and sit in the front row and have a great time. You'll have a wonderful, a wonderful experience, as indeed will we if you're there. Beautiful. And the festival alert, and the festival alert.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So here's the thing I was going to think about with selfies. Yeah. Is once you become an A-lister, I think then it's really okay for you to have selfies with other A-listers. Cause I think you kind of both buzz off it. Yes. So it's like. You break the internet.

Paul Rudd is working with, you know, it was Sylvester Stallone. Of course it was. Your brain's going, don't say Costner. Don't say Costner. Don't say Costner. Well, I guess he is in that TV show now. Is he still an A-lister? Don't say Costner.

Don't say Costner. Sylvester Stallone. Sylvester Stallone. One of the original Planet Hollywood founders. One of the originals, yeah. One of Trump's guys. Oh, is he? Yeah, he's one of Trump's ambassadors.

But I think Trump said, I've got three ambassadors. It's Sylvester Stallone, John Voight, and James Woods. It was three wrongings, basically. But he announced it without telling them that they were the ambassadors to Hollywood. He was like, yeah, I've got these three guys. They're like, are we? All right. Fair enough. Yeah. I guess we're tramps. Great job, Voight. Yeah, he was eating the Blumons at the time, wasn't he? Planet Hollywood was the original celebs launching a business though. Yes, that's right. Because Hard Rock Cafe didn't have, like it had all the memorabilia in it,

but it didn't crucially have the celebrities to go with it. And it's like now, obviously every celebrity has to have like a business, like gin or normally a booze. Normally gin. Normally gin. Every celebrity has to have a gin. Where's our gin boys? Where's our gin?? Where's our gin?

Pappy's gin, it's cheap. It's cheap? Do you want to selfie with it? We should come out with a War Memorial gin. You know, just drink it. Drink it in the park next to a War Memorial and be sad. It's cheap. It's cheap. It tastes cheap. I've got to ask you what's your

favorite Where's Our Gin movie? Mine is Darling Gilling Express. Are we accepting that? I don't know if we can accept that. We're gonna have to go to VAR on that one. Oh, it's not gone Crosby's way. It's not gone Crosby's way. You better run the phone. They're not interested. Crossbow take off the heavy pencil. Listen, the reason I'm on heavy pencil is because I'm so small. Just a normal sized pencil. I just really struggle to write with it. I think we've talked about you bet quite a lot in the past. Wasn't there one where two trains had to reverse into each other to park an egg in between them? That's my go-to for you bet. I don't remember.

I can't remember a different shot. Have you got a you bet that you'd go to? Yes, because a guy, and again, I've mentioned this before on the podcast, but a guy, one of the parents from my school was on you bet and he was driving a reverse, and again, I've mentioned this before on the podcast, but a guy, one of the parents from my, uh, my school was on Ubet and he was driving, reversing a van with a bottle opener on the back and trying to open 10 bottles by reversing. Here we go. There's a lot of reversing. A guy reversing a train so that he could have an egg in between the carriage and the train

and balance the egg there. And I had a guy, uh, reversing a truck to open a bottle of gin. That was his gin launch, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah. And the other one was a guy who could identify what car it was by the car door closing. Oh, that's good. That was a big one for me. Identifying was a big one. The two identifiers I remember were looking at the graphic equalizer

and knowing what the song was just from the graphic equalizer. That's good. Amazing. Even better than that a candle in front of a speaker he could identify what song was playing from the way the candle flicked. Same guy? I don't think it was the same guy. They should be. They must be rivals. Yeah absolutely. There's a Sharks versus Jets with them. And there's the other one with that person who had to identify who that fucking guy is, who took a selfie with him. Some kind of podcast record or something. I don't know. Found him in my phone about two years ago.

It says in the Oxford Circus area. I don't know. Do people say no? Yeah, you're all right. That's a shame, isn't it? That's a wee shame. Yeah, yeah. That's a wee shame.

There's all the very famous instances where we did that. Very famous. Very famous. What would you establish from someone who asks if you want to self with them? There's nothing very famous about us. Nothing very famous about me. We did our three-man Macbeth. Yeah.

I was playing Macbeth. Clark was playing a lot of the other parts. Scum was playing Lady Macbeth. Yeah. I remember playing Macbeth. Clark was playing a lot of the other parts. Scum was playing Lady Macbeth. Yeah, I remember it was very good. Someone came up and said, can I get a photo of the cast? And I said, absolutely. And they said, yeah, but just those two.

I had to stand up to one side. Well, it's bad luck to take a photo of Macbeth, isn't it? Don't say it, don't see him, don't want to talk to him. Don't want him to have a selfie with me. The thing about Planet Hollywood, for a while, they span it that it felt like they were kind of running it. Like you had a feeling that Sly was flipping burgers for you. Yes, yes, definitely have that.

And it kind of, yeah, and it'd be like, I'm gonna go and eat there and maybe Arnold Schwarzenegger will bring me a steak. Yeah, definitely. Who were the owners then? Bruce Willis, Schwarzenegger, Sly, the big three. I think so. I think that was it.

That's good. That's all you need. I mean, there wasn't really anyone else around. No. That was it in Hollywood. Kurt Russell. They ran Hollywood. Yeah, Kurt Russell now, I don't think he's quite the...

Harrison Ford, not quite the same sort of... Steven Seagal. No way, no way. Yeah, very exciting. And then the Model Cafe. Do you remember the Model Cafe? Supermodel Cafe, it was called. Supermodel Cafe, which was launched by Linda Evangelista and possibly Campbell, Schiffer and Crawford.

Crawford. Oh wow. Crawford. That's that very, very exciting thing. But of course, nobody wants to like, you can't have a cafe, which is like a place to round people who don't. Am I going to have a piece of celery? Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. And a cigarette. But what's the, what's the... Put some Coke up there, asshole. What's the new kind of like, who would be the new guys that you'd go to for like,

you could launch a fast food chain and sell 15 quid... It's Ryan Reynolds, isn't it? He's just like a one... What, the Ryan Reynolds Cafe? He's a one-way industry to launch anything now. Cause he owns the Verizon phone network, doesn't he? What, the whole network? Yeah.

Well, I mean, he is one of the sort of majority shareholders. Now it's de rigueur for a celebrity to also be an entrepreneur without meaning to overuse words that end in er. But I would agree with her. I'm a photographer. Would you like a set? No, okay, fair enough.

No, fine. Fine, I understand. I get it. I get it. I've got it to business with sure. So do you think if we had a big celebrity on, we'd be able to ask them? Can I just go back? Gis Clarke, he's gone.

Gis Clarke, he's gone. I enjoyed going back. I realised I didn't laugh as much as I should have done because my little Pappy's logo fell off my microphone. But I turned around to see you actively cringing. But I just want to say, I liked Cher. I thought that was good. Ironic that we're talking about celebrities

and branding and businesses, and we can't even get little things on mics and do it properly. Mine's gone, yours is falling off. It's stopping us from doing it. I'm just swallowing my... And we can launch a gin. And we can launch a gin.

We can't stick things on our mics. There you go. Back on now. Yeah. Back on, anyway. I'd be interested to talk to a celebrity. So would I. Full stop on that one.

Obviously the selfie has come along and absolutely routed autographs. No longer I think do celebrities ever have to sign things. Oh no, no, I think they still do. But it feels like a lot of the signing is a bit of like a swiz now. People bring along stuff. I think in terms of when you meet someone in public, who's a proper member of the public, I think they're asking for a selfie.

Yeah. I don't think anyone's asking for your autograph. I think the people who wait at stage doors with photos pre-printed to get them signed so they can sell them online, you have to park those. Yeah. Was it Rami Malek who did the thing to the person where they say, oh, please sign this. It's my birthday. And he went, what date is it? And they're like, bub, bub, bub. And he was like, see ya. See ya. And it's like, yeah. That's again, that's a trick you learned from Ed Sheeran. Oh, I was gonna say.

No, everyone's birthdays. I would have said, I would have struggled with that. Like if Remy Malik said, what day is it? And it's like, even if it's my birthday, I'd be like, oh, give me a second. I know Clarky's birthday.

And I know Sylvester Stallone's birthday. Also, if they'd have said a date, and I was Remy Mamenick, I'd be like, yeah, that was probably it. Yeah, I don't know what day is. I'm Remy Malek. So I think, but like, I think in terms of in the, no one's in a pub signing something basically. Like the stage door thing, that's a different thing. Yes. Not interested in that.

Yeah. I'm saying if you see Eric Cantona walking down the road, no one is going, oh, can you sign my bus ticket for me? Or can you sign that for me? Eric Cantona on a bus ticket? What year is this anecdote happening? He's just come out of Planet Hollywood. Shaking hands with Slice, you know. Where's my quill? Where's my quill? I definitely had it with me. Where's my quill? I've only got a typewriter, dammit! Caxton, is that you?

Leonardo Di Vincenzo, where's my chisel? I get it, he can a chisel. Can you put this in my arse? We've got to stop saying this, by the way. You've got to stop saying things that are actively libelous. They're going to have to bleep. We have to bleep that name. It's just a, yeah. No, no, no, no, no.

Let's hear a, yeah. No, no, no, no, no. Go on. Let's hear your defence. It's just a sort of complete lie that's been made up about somebody. My defence is that in the Pappies universe, we have certain facts. No, no, no. Hey, don't bring me into this. We have certain facts and in the Pappies universe, that's become like an unchallengeable fact. It's like... Tom, it's only unchallengeable because you said it 40 times an episode.

It's law now. It's law. It's too lawly. We can't be having any more. Listen, you cannot... You need to draw a line under that. And speak of the lines. Anyway, you know, I would like to ask a celebrity and a celebrity who straddled both eras.

Oh yeah. Cantona for example. Sly. Sly, Sly would tell me. Which one did you prefer? Yes. Was it more of a bother to be giving someone your autograph or to have a selfie? And I think they will be nostalgic for the autograph days.

I also think the easy access of cameras means that, I reckon you get more selfie requests than you do autographs. I think, I don't think, I think if you saw a famous person in the street, you wouldn't automatically go, I'll get their autograph. Whereas I think selfies, you think I've got it right here. I could do it. But somehow like it was the given method for proving you'd met someone.

Oh definitely. But there was no way of verifying it. Like go, I just saw Eric Cantona and you'd be like, no you didn't. And it's like, I did look. And then you pull up your t-shirt and there's two big foot marks in your chest. And you go, oh, I stand corrected. And can I just say a really nice man. Oh, what a gentleman. So generous with his time.

What a studs. Well, you know, I just think I do miss, I had quite a few autographs back in the day. You were offering them weren't you? He's got a draw full. Do you want some of these? You were actually handing out 8x10s of yourself. Just goes to a train station. But it was like one of my headshots here.

Just coming out a train station. But it was like one of my headshots here. Just coming out of stage doors. Yeah, just waiting by stage doors to give them to celebrities. Eh, you can cast me in something. Yeah, but you know, that's all. I'm just saying I'd be interested. Yeah. Well, one day, Tom, I hope you meet a celebrity. Yeah.

I mean, I don't handle myself well around them. No. Do you go to pieces? Are you someone who gets a bit, or do you feel like you have to be a bit more like matey with them and how do you, or do you hang back? Yeah. I go kind of in, I don't feel myself. Yeah. You feel them. You go in. I'm struggling at being not like normal. Like, and I was once when he was like,

has a famous friend and they said, oh, I was round their house. And then they said, oh, we're having a good dinner tonight. And then they didn't say who was coming. And then all these people arrived and it was like, you're sat at this table. And as they were telling me that story. Stallone's arriving, can't enough.

Swatch niggas. I'm like, I'm just kidding. But it's like, you know, as, get in the kitchen lads, come on. As they told that story, I was thinking, I would hate that. Yeah, me too. I can't think of anything worse actually. Yeah. And going like, or, you know, someone was like a few, well, lots of our

friends have either become famous or hang out with famous people. And I find it inherently stressful and I know they're just people as well. But I think hanging around with people who are on your level feels very relaxing, which is why, like obviously Paul Rudd having a selfie with Sylvester Stallone feels very normal to him. Or someone else. Why do you keep asking us for selfies when I'm waiting? But you know, you do it as well. You just don't call it a selfie. You go, should we get a picture of us doing this? Or whatever it is. Yeah. You don't have to awkwardly say, would you mind?

No, it would be okay. And if I'm ever with someone where I would want a selfie with them, I would never ask. Have you never asked for a selfie? I did once recently and... Who was it? Can you say? I... It was Elon Musk. No, it wasn't. Oh, no. Yes. It was Elon Musk.

No it wasn't. Oh Tom. Oh Tom. No, no, but like, especially, I don't know, it just feels awkward, you know, in a way. Like, say for example, Hasselhoff. Yes.

When I was like, I got a chance, I was in a room with Hasselhoff and everyone was... Well you were on the, weren't you? You're on the wall with a sledgehammer saying, just say the word David, I'll start smashing. Everyone was like asking him and I, you just don't, I didn't want to. You don't want to be that person. I was the same, yeah. You know? Yeah. What about though, do you ever use for my kids? Because that is a little, you know, if you say, Hey, would you mind a little photo? So I can show my kids or a little video message for my kids.

That's not going to wash with Hasselhoff though, surely? Of course. It's a family man. But which kids into Hasselhoff? It's a bygone era. He's not going to say that about himself though. Sorry, how old are your kids in their late forties? Never even heard of me. I did that was the experience I had with him was it was like a rehearsal for this script that someone had written. And the

joke of the episode, it's like a story. It was like a program about his life that day Hasselhoff. And he was this perfect journey was amazing. And the story of the episode, it was like a story, it was like a program about his life, that guy Hasselhoff, and he was this perfect gent, he was amazing, and the story of the episode was that he, David Hasselhoff spins out because someone doesn't recognize him, and it got to the feedback about the episode, and Hasselhoff said, the only thing I would say is, I don't buy that this person doesn't recognize me.

And then they had to try and pitch examples of why that person would recognize him. And he wasn't being like a maniac. He was going, no, no, they recognize me. And they were like, what if this person is 17 year old? And they're like, I get recognized by them all the time. They know me because of this, this, this. And they were like, what if they could-

Because he was a judge on America's Got Talent. He was like a pop star. He was internationally famous. He was on Baywatch, which was the biggest show America's Got Talent. He was like a pop star. He was internationally famous. He was on Baywatch, which was the biggest show in the entire world. And they were like, what if they're from this country? And he was like, what country? And they were like, I don't know.

I like they're from this country. He'd be like, honestly, mate, over there, they just look. And it was like, he was just being very, he wasn't being like a knob about it. And it was like, oh, everyone knows, he was like, everyone knows who I am. It felt mad. Did he not realize that then

that that's what makes the episode funny? Yeah, I mean, it's like, no but- The idea of one person, if he's got an answer for why everybody should know him, isn't that funny of him to be going, all right, where are you from? What age are you? I can tell you why you should know me.

That didn't- I know. But anyway. And the weirdest thing at the end was he didn't want a selfie with me. That is weird. I know how you feel, man. I hear what you're saying back there and I get it a lot as well. Do you want a selfie? Cheer you up? Get your phone out. Get you... Come on, mate. Get them on mate. Don't worry, I know my way around it. Have you ever gone for a selfie, Clarke? Have you ever asked any celebrities for selfies?

I don't think I have. I'm also really nervous about it. Just be like, I can take the rejection and also I just don't want to bother them. I'd be like, I don't want to be that guy. If there's like, yeah. I'd probably be like Crosby. Oh my god. Yeah. Absolutely star fucker over there. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I'm like, I'd be more inclined to ask for an autograph because that's why I know. Because you're an old man. Exactly. Yeah.

Do you think, you know, an autograph book though, that felt like a thing back in the day. Oh yeah, it was. Yeah. But could you bring it back? Is that a thing you could do again? This is my autograph book. Yeah I think, I think there's something quite, quite quaint.

I think it would be like... Something quite quaint. I was going to say, it'd be like... You'd appreciate it. It'd be quite Wes Anderson about it. Yeah. Like, I've got this, like, corduroy-bound book. LAUGHTER Just put it there next to Owen Wilson. Bwaah!

LAUGHTER But I think, I think, like, you know, I think it would seem charming now to have an autograph book and people would find it refreshing. And Sheeran famously knows his way around every type of autograph. Absolutely, yeah. He can have it with one hand. Every pen. Yeah, yeah. He's done the time with the pens.

Oh, he knows his way around a Sharpie. Of course he does. Yeah, he could do it. Yeah. But I also, that is why, oh no, I won't say that. I mean, what I was going to say was... No. Oh, you know what? I never want to hear a sentence more than when Tom says, I'm not able to say it. I don't know. It's like they'd all say, when you hear it, you're like... Oh yeah. He was right, actually. I didn't want you to say that, actually.

That's why I think, like, it's nice to offer a selfie. Actually, I did want to say that actually. That's why I think like it's nice to offer a selfie. Actually I did want to hear that. If I'm with Sheeran and Sheeran goes, oh do you want a selfie? Because he knows that it's a nice, that someone probably wants one but doesn't want to offer. Crucially Tom, he's Ed Sheeran, one of the most famous people in the entire world. I'm going to go ahead and say more famous than David Hasselhoff. You know, Clark was down to the last two to be a cheering. Oh, boy. Still very raw with him.

So close. Still very raw with him. Pitched at the post. If only you were talented. I know. Was that all you? That was the only thing standing in the way. Or nice.

Yeah. That was the only thing standing in the way. Or nice. Yeah. So that was the episode guys. We're still reeling from the fact that Parry just took an item of Clarky's property and snapped it off with one hand as well. Absolutely. Just took the coaster, snapped it.

He's really doubling down on it as well. He's stood the very thought being yammed by my colleagues, it turns out. Well, thank you for listening all the way through that. We hope you enjoyed it. Hope it wasn't litigious. I hope it wasn't. I hope it wasn't. But I hope that every episode.

Yeah, very true. Look, we're sticking stuff out online now. We're sticking clips out there. It's on Instagram. It's on TikTok. If you're so inclined, then, you know, like those clips or stick them out there. It's on Instagram, it's on TikTok. If you're so inclined, then, you know, like those clips or stick them out yourself. It really helps with my coaster fund. Yeah, absolutely right. Let's get Clarky a replacement coaster. It's a replacement coaster, then a replacement coaster.

The two things we need to replace immediately, And we can't do that without your help. So patreon.com forward slash papi's flat share, or of course go and like and subscribe and all that kind of stuff on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. Amen. Thank you for listening. And we'll see you next week. Today's episode was produced by Caution. Caution team. Cheers everyone. Bye.