Pappy's Flatshare - Ep 1528: How to have the perfect camping trip

Episode Date: August 12, 2025

Has Clarky come up with the ultimate camping hack? Has Matthew missed out on a true scouting delicacy? And what cheeky game did Tom play on his honeymoon?To get episodes early and ad-free - PLUS a bonus episode every week - join our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareTo watch full episodes of Pappy’s Flatshare find us on YouTube: www.youtube.com/@pappysflatshareAnd follow us onInstagram: instagram.com/pappyscomedyTikTok: www.tiktok.com/@pappysflatshareFacebook: www.facebook.com/PappysFlatshare/And X: twitter.com/pappystweet Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greetings, listener dear, I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I am Matthew and welcome to another exciting episode of Pappy's Flatshare. And what an exciting episode this is. We're going to hear some brand new information about our dear friend, Clarkie. Whoa, baby. Well, baby, it's a Clarkie spesh. It's a Clarkie spesh.

They don't come around very often, but when they do, oh, M goodness. They really are fantastic. Clarkie reveals a new aspect of his personality, a new trait, a change that's recently come upon him. And that is interrogated over the course of the episode. So you won't want to miss it. You've tuned into a good one. It's like Flying Ants Day, isn't it?

It is like Flying Ants Day. It's like Flying Ants Day. You forget about him. And then once a year, you're like, oh, God, no, not this. You know, these things. Goodness me. They're a bit much, aren't they? Why am I so weirdly disgusted by all of this?

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Talk about whatever Happy's flat share How we've been doing this forever Papi's flagship But we don't really live together Papi's flat share Yeah I went camping the other day

really yeah full on i've got a so proud of himself i think you should be proud of yourself i am actually yeah in this modern age you got a chance to touch grass that's what it's all about i'm a new man did you love it it was great can i ask you what level of why is the idea of clarky being in the great outdoors so amusing to you tom i don't know we come together probably what once a year I don't think going to festivals It's like a man He's never camped in his life Yeah but going camping

And go into a festival Are two different things aren't they The tent is a place to sleep at a festival If you make it back to it It's not camping Camping Camping Okay okay This is it

I mean I don't know if it's amazing Sorry Sorry Clarkie Sorry Clarkie that Tom can't handle I'm just an outdoorsy man now I'm a man of I don't think that you put the E in there I think it's just outdoors.

Outdoors. Right. I quite like outdoorsyman. Addozeman. And outdoorsyman. Yeah. It does work. It does quite manny.

With the basis from the Stone Roses. Yeah. Anyway, yes, you went camping. You went camping. You went camping. Went camping. Up in Norfolk. Very beautiful.

Beautiful part of the world. I finally recommend it. Yeah. Get out there. Get in the fresh air. I've been to North Norfolk with you. Thank you. We've been to.

together. Yeah, but, you know, like a camping holiday time. It's different from all of us. You're like a guy who's come back off his gap year. Yeah. The colours, man. When you're camping, it's just different, you know. It's like the air.

It's just that a little bit more fresh. Were you camping in like a proper tent or did you go glamping? No, proper tent, yeah. Really? In our own. Yeah. Got a little stove. I, by the way, I appreciate now, this, this is quite a hard gig, isn't it?

Because you've got, you've got a real force on the other side of you saying they... He wants to naysay, but he's not, he's not actually saying anything. I'm not naysaying camping as an experience. I'm, I'm a big fan of camping. I love it. Do you go camping holidays? No. Hey, listen, you can be a fan of camping without doing any of the actual camping.

Yeah, yeah. Well, I camp whenever I can, like I said, like at festivals, this is my only opportunity to camp. Yeah. But it's because I've got a little child and that's not so. Like as soon as they're old enough to, I think I'm only going to do camping, yeah. I like it. Have you attempted the camp in the back garden? That's this summer. Is it? Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Very excited for it because absolute formative memories with a bullet camping in your own back garden. It's so thrilling, isn't it? There's something incredibly exciting about the idea of you can go back to the house but you're not going to.

Well, in the case of when I was staying at my uncle's house, I should have gone back to the house but instead I took a dump in the flower bed. Oh, no. What? Sorry, what? This is it.

We get back to nature. I didn't know the rules. You kind of think, oh, well, the rules are. You're out for the night. How old were you? We're talking to sort of seven or eight. talking here. I think I was 11. Okay. I think

I think that's right on the cut yeah. That's on the bleeding edge of pooping in the garden age. Yeah. So what so? But he knows. He's outdoors him and the rules are different when you're camping. Where did you dump in Norfolk all over the shop? Yeah.

I did it in the tent. What time of the not day? It was two in the afternoon. You're bound Well, it felt like it was, it would have been about 9 o'clock at night because it felt very late. Right. Me and my cousin had looked at the, we'd looked at the underwear section of the catalogue. And then I went and had to dump in the flower bed.

That got you in the mood. It was a hell of a night. Did your cousin know you were going to do that? What, look at the underwear section of the catalogue. That's why the catalogue was there. I think as we were talking out of sleeping bags out, I feel like he kind of went. Lifting his pillow and the catalogue was there like, yeah. And you're like, check it.

We're going to buy a brevel sandwich toaster tonight. We're going to buy a toilet, I hope. Because I'm touching cloth, man. And the door's locked. It's called touching canvas. Yeah. So, yeah, you know, I had a little look at the catalogue. Outdoors rules.

I felt, I guess you're allowed. You're allowed to look at a catalogue outdoors. That's why all Argoses don't have a roof. And then I needed the loo And I was like, I'm going to go to the loo Yeah But I'll go in the corner of the garden Because we're camping

Right And he assumed Yeah And then I came back and was like If you got any loo roll And he was like, what? How much did you enjoy that catalogue? That was textbook catalogue

Who is the textbook? Don't tell your parents We're doing homework I can't count long, no pictures. But honestly, the underwear section is going to be wild. The descriptions. Were you wild camping or was it a campsite? It was a campsite, yeah.

It was a cane site. You're not going to judge me on that. No, no, no, no. Festivals are a campsite, aren't they? Yes. So that's not wild camping. No, that's true. Yeah.

Can you just got wild camping? Wait, are you saying they're not saying that you're saying they are wild camping. It had facilities. Okay, what kind of silly? A little walk away. There was a shower. There was a toilet. Oh, already.

You're thinking it's not camping. Anyway, well, there's a toilet. A nut uncle's rose bush. Didn't use rose petals. Oh, that's a gamble. I did use a leaf. That's why I used in the end. A leaf?

Oh, mate. What's wrong with you? than nothing. I thought that's what we were doing. There's a house. I mean, there is a house. But you can't use a house. It's really going to change.

Yeah, psychologically. It's a brick. He's a brick like the rest of us. An unusual way of repointing, but. Psychologically, there shouldn't be a house when you're camping in the garden. Up here. The house isn't there. You know, I know.

I do know what you mean. That's what you do with it. If you've stepped inside the house, you've failed the mission. you've failed the mission of camping Exactly Exactly You save that for 2 o'clock in the morning When you're scared

And you're cold Yeah So we woke up in the front room But I'd still take a dump in the garden A terrible A terrible shame hangover To have That was your first hangover

At the edge of 11 You're like waking up going Oh no It's not even what did I do last night It's like, I know exactly what I did last night. Just straighting back in images. Foon, the catalogue. Squatting over the flower.

Leaves. Should have taken them off the tree first. Can we go inside? I'm scared. Poo! Oh no. Wiping with the leaf. What a journey.

That was inside as well, wasn't it? That's why I'll never camp again. So actually, what you were bringing... You're triggering Tom with a lot of traumatic memories. That's the reason he got so upset. So anyway, yes, you went camping. What happened on this camping trip, man? Well, you know, we had a barbecue.

I'm telling you, man. Clarkie. When you said you had something to say on this podcast, it's not enough. Was the be on an end all of it? I went camping. Pretty much. You see?

You see? It's not enough. Well. It's not enough. I've got a doozy of an anecdote. And a barbecue? It's a shame. it's a shame

Parkinson's no longer alive I do I do have a slight confession okay we did go home a day early well that's

you felt in the front room you failed the mission yeah okay it was exactly that okay

it was very cold it was very cold it was a slight miscommunication when we were we were packing you thought it'd be indoors oh

this campsites outdoors Oh, okay. That does change things. That does change things. I said, we've got three sleeping bags, right? And then I said yes. So there were three of you going camping.

No, this is two of us. But, you know, like sleeping bags are extra warmth. So you, like, you would package, you'd be an individual bags, like a multi-bag of crisps. You'd be an individual bags and there'd be a bigger bag around you. You're a multi-packet. That's unbelievable. Yeah, yeah. So there's an intimacy.

But a safe distance at the same time. So two sleeping mags and then... And then a third one, like, is a duvet over the top. That's what we've done previously. Just to prevent you from being intimate at any point. Megan insists. You're sleeping sleeping bags, you're bad, don't you? You've got the chastity sleeping bag as well, haven't you?

Cloth across the middle. Yeah, zip to self up, close herself in. Except. Until we're married. Megan was inside. I was in the car. Megan zips herself into a truck. Into a truck.

Megan zips up. It's loaded onto a flatbed truck and it's driven home in a sleeping bag. Yeah, this is my holiday, thanks. Just drop me off anywhere here to a truck. Anyway, yes. I said, we've got three sleeping bags, right? And she said yes. And that didn't, the yes didn't mean, I've packed three sleeping bags.

She went, yes, we are. own three sleeping bags. I see. I've packed two. Including the summer one, which is very thin, which was my one. So it was very cold.

So you went home and said, here you go. Have my thin sleeping bag. I'm off. I'm going. You know, we were there three nights. We were supposed to be there three nights.

We left the, we left the night. Who brought it up? Who was the person who said, this is over. This holiday is not happening anymore. There was slight, there was like little comments.

Because we both, we both wanted it to work. but at the same time, I think we were both kind of like, I'm not sure I can, not sure I can carry on. It's the story of your relationship, isn't it? You both wanted to work, but there have been little comments. I'm not sure it's working. Let's call it now.

Yeah. On the third day, someone showed up with a sleeping bag and divorce papers. There were three sleeping bags in this marriage. Because that's not how I expected this story to go. Because you started by saying, you started by saying, oh, I went camping. It was great. Yeah, it was great.

It was great. It was great. It was great. It's great until it isn't. It's great until it isn't. It's great until it isn't. Yeah. And we, um, we did, we did go to a hotel on the second night as well.

Right. Okay. Okay. All right. Clarkie. Okay. I hate to break you, mate. You've not been camping.

Yeah. Okay. So, you know what, Tom. I, I, honestly, I jumped down your third. throat. Thank you. I was so, I was like, listen, give the boy a chance. You stayed in a hotel and then your house. It was like he was looking into my soul the whole time. As soon as I started it, he was just looking at it. I was like, when you know, you know. How's he no? So you went, you set up the tent. You're out of the tent. One night. Very cold. Very cold. Second night left the tent there and went to the hotel. No. Second night, we got a fire, we got a fire pit. They're like, here we go. This is, this is going to be hot. Put the tent in that. A tent, the two sleeping bags, then you fucked off. Where's that flatbed truck? Load us up.

Off we go. Take it to the holiday in. Yeah. You know. So you got a fire pit. When you say got a fire pit? Did you buy a fire pit? No, they had someone on site.

Right. And the guy, the first guy we spoke to when we arrived was incredibly shy. And like, he didn't really tell us anything. I wasn't making eye contact and stuff so we weren't getting much out of him and he was like... So it's his fault, it's his fault really, isn't it? If he had a bit more

get up and go, then you'd still be there. Exactly. The person at the hotel, very charismatic. Very charismatic. Well, crucially, he wasn't shivering. Crucially, he was indoors. I tell you what, that guy was very, very shy. He had like icicles hanging off his eyes

and nose. He was like completely still. Didn't say a bloody words. He was in a hedge maze. So did you. So you got the fire pit but still went to a hotel? Yeah. Got a fire pit.

And how did the hotel feel about the fire pit? You lost your deposit. Well, I tell you what, the hotel, it was like one of these. It was out of the stick. Listen, Clarkie. Clarkie, I've stayed in a hotel. Don't tell me about a fucking hotel, mate. You and I have staying in hotels together, all right?

I know about hotels. No, no, about this one. Come on. Come on. What next happened on Mr. Bean's holiday? Come on. Let's hear about it. Tell us about the hotel.

There was a party going on. There was like an 80s party going on downstairs. Yeah. It was like a pub hotel. Okay, it wasn't at a hotel. It was a pub. It was a pub. It was a pub.

It was a pub. surprised we were there with bags. They found it very amusing. We went upstairs to a room and there was a fight in the courtyard outside our room. And you're like, I literally live next to a courtyard with these fights every night. Why if I, it's a real home way from home. Shall we go back to our home? Yeah. At what time did you arrive? So you mad the fire pit. Yeah, we arrived. We arrived about 11. At night? Yeah. Can I ask you? So you're really, we really try. You're in the 10, really He was desperate for a shit, wasn't he? He was dying for it.

You're in the tent, Googling away, going, where can we go and stay? Yeah. Yeah, a bit like that. Well, Clark, Megan's Googling, where can we stay? Clark is Googling the catalogue, aren't you? Let's have a little look here. Tent rules. Tent rules.

Oh, look at that fire pit. Oh, my mysteries are traveling. Textbooks in the back to school range. So, yeah, yeah. So you're sitting by a fire pit. You're hating it. And you're saying, you're hating each other.

You're cursing the fact that you exist and the other one exists. And you're thinking, what are we doing here? And you don't think, well, maybe we'll just drive all the way home. No, you know,

it's quite late. It just, you start to realize, you know, last night was really cold and it woke me up a few times. Tonight, it already feels colder.

How many clothes have you got on? I've got all the clothes. I've bought it. He's wearing all. his clothes. He's wearing all his clothes. He's wearing both his jeans. You'd ask Megan if you'd pack three pairs of jeans.

Megan, do I have three pairs of jeans? She says yes, but she's only packed two. Yeah, this is it. You're wearing one like a jumper. One like tracks. It's through the flight. You're like one of those badly knitted teddy bears. What?

It's going to be a nightmare to get out of my shit in the corner. You're not just unsip yourself out the tent. You arrive at the 80s party. I think you've come a stretch Armstrong. So, so clothes-wise,

if you're wearing all your clothes, I'm going to say you haven't packed enough warm clothes. Yeah, I didn't pack enough warm clothes. Is that? Can we just rewind the tape to how this story began?

I went camping. I'm an outdoorsman. Can I also say, let the record show. You said to me, I'm going camping this weekend. and I said it's going to be cold. You did actually, yeah.

It was the first thing I said was it's going to be cold. That's outdoors you, man. So be ready for that. Yeah. And you packed light. I didn't think I did. What did you have, like linen suits? The shirt with all the pineapples on it.

Miami Vice. He was going to that 80s party. He fit right in. This fedora's giving me nothing. Oh, dear. Yeah. It's, you know. It is tough camping

But it's a way of life Oh I forgot to tell you I ran a marathon On the way here I got out my house And I thought My legs feel a bit tired So I got in the car

You did have a shit I took a shit in the car Which with my kids Actually improved the smell Of our car And yeah And then after a while I thought

I'm not going to do the full 26 miles I get it stuff funny stuff here yeah I forgot to mention that so I've got questions for you that first night where you're still in the camping

lull yeah or like that no the kind of the coasiness the womb of the tent yeah the idealised version

did you play cards yes we did it yeah it's the only place where it suddenly comes back to you that you need to play cards

yeah because you got fuck all else to do because they're in a tent but suddenly you go cards, playing cards is great and then you spend about an hour remembering how to play a game, whatever you remember

you play. You wish, you're rummy, whatever you're playing, yeah. Then you get really into it and you play it for about three hours and you like go, we're going to play this every night when we get home, we won't watch the telly, this is what we should do we'll drink a bottle of wine, we'll play cards and we'll chat and laugh because this is what it's about

and then you don't play cards for about five years until you go camping again. Yeah. Yeah. There's a bit of a sort of holiday admission because we've done it as well. We've not been camping, but when we went on like a long sort of traveling holiday

when we're going around Australia and New Zealand, there is an element of like, when is the day when we buy a pack of cards? Yeah. When have we both run out of patience with each other enough? To play patience. One of you is going to go into town and find a little shop to buy a pack of cards.

because other ones. We've talked about every possible topic here. And do you know what is tough when that comes on your honeymoon? I thought you were going to say, do you know when it's tough when that comes on a podcast because I've just bought a pack of cards

and we're going to run down the episode playing gin rummy. When it's your honeymoon and you're in the first flushes of marriage it's like when we just can't get enough of each other and it's like, do you know how to play shithead? Something's going to. It's in the call you won, or play the games.

No, it's a play. I've married one. You go, this is still nice, though. It's nice that we can play games together, right? Yeah, the cards. I mean, it's the reason why they're like, you know, if someone's, like, trapped in a prisoner of war camp in a movie, that's the thing that's got to keep in it.

It's the thing that's stopping them from going insane, isn't it? A pack of cards, yeah. It's like a baseball or a pack of cards. The one thing that stopped me going insane and choky. But I've retained very few. I keep playing on the first night. I was playing in the car on the way up. Megan, we've got three packs of cards, right?

Please tell we've got three packs of cards. Please, please. Sorry, you've retained. Have you retained many card games? I've got nothing. Because that's my discovery. We're not moving into card games with the kids. So we're playing, we're playing like,

because you've run out of things to talk to them about. Daddy, where do we go to where we die? Shut up and shuffle. Okay. There is a lot of that. There's a lot of the death talks. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Here we go. Here we go. Stop talking about people dying, okay? You bumming me out, boys. Yeah. Yeah, so we actually, Clarkie came around

and we played the Grafrolet card game with you, didn't you play the Graffrolet of a card game? He could come straight from the campsite. I'm Jones in for more card games. I can't face the reality of my life. Give me a deck of cards and four jumpers, please. Daddy, why is he wearing all of his clothes? Is he going to die?

If he camps again. Yeah, don't worry. The Clarkie is just something that's made up to scare kids. So there's no real, there's no real Clarkie. But no, we played it, we played it for ages before we realized that Cleo had, like, hidden some of the cards. Oh, yeah, she'd cooked the books a bit. She'd hidden some of the cards, which meant that no one could win, but none of us could win. We were all, you know, it's a card game for five and six year olds, but we paid for ages, but we were like, oh.

It's quite hard to win this game, isn't it? I'm really trying. Should we go to a hotel? we went through a real stage of poker where we were like this is what we do now when we were in our late teens you think it's going to be the thing from what again from like watching like american shows we buy cigars yeah buy cigars we'd all buy poker sets so that we had lots of chips so were you were you smoking cigars in your parents kitchen well no like if we get away or if we were on a trip or if we were away like we'd all sit

around. We'd go and buy these, you know, the cheapest cigars we could find. The cheapest but

biggest. And that's how you know they go. They've got to be big but we haven't got any money. Yeah. So there's stinky

horrible cigars sit around and no one's very, none really knows about poker enough. No. Very thin grasp of the rules. Yeah.

And we're not playing for anything either. So none of it really matters. No. And that would be like, this is who we are. Yeah.

This is what we do. We're cool now. We've seen swingers. Basically, that was it. We've seen swingers. We want to be in swingers. And we can play poker. We've not yet realized

that the two guys in swingers are losers. We want to emulate their life. They're constantly getting knocked back by other producers, by women, by life itself. Yeah.

That's what I aspire to. But also, and it's the Sopranos as well of that thing of going, on a Friday night, you'll all go around your friend's house and smoke cigars and play poker, which just isn't a very,

British thing to do. You're also whacking people as well, weren't you? You're also working at hoot- Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that was, like, poker was one that we played. But then anything else,

I can't remember. Any of the card game. You can't, you can't, because occasionally people think that's a good idea to, like, teach everyone poker and play poker. It's not.

It's not. But that's, do you know what? That's every, every game now. If you don't already know the rules, forget about it. do you know what I mean

I'm out do you know what I mean and we have been to games games nights like you've hosted games nights right where by the time you get around to play

in the first game people are too pissed to understand the rules one person knows the rules one person is keen to learn the rules me everybody else is too hammered

to give a fuck everyone thinks it's really funny to just like talk over it not really play the game not really play the game and you realise that they're having fun you're not having fun

and you're the reason they're not having fun Yeah, yeah. So basically, unless you know the rules to, you know, Ticket to Ride, we're not playing Ticket to Ride with a bunch of new people who are being introduced to the game at 11pm. No. Yeah. Yeah.

I think I've, yeah, I think I've had my board game career. Career? Yeah, I've done it. I don't think I'm going to go back to it. Mysteries of Old Peking. I mean, oh, I don't know that one. Do you remember Mysteries of Old Peking? No.

What was the game? I can't imagine it's aged well. Well, it does the title alone. I'd say. I don't think it's a game that originated. No. Did you ever play colonizers? It's great, actually.

It's really lovely. It's a great family game. I can't imagine it's aged well. I think it's probably the board game equivalent of big trouble in little China. Yeah. Well, slumdog. Now I back it. Slumdog Millionaire.

Like, I was read about Slumdog million the other day, and it was like, you know, best film at the Oscars lorded, won the BAFTAs, very poorly received in India, where people found it extremely offensive. And I've got a feeling that's how mystery of Zavol Peking. I don't think it would travel well. Not taking it to the cabs like that. You had to kind of collect a Chinese dragon or some such.

There's lots of get a rickshaw across town. Lots of get a richard. I think we've heard just about enough of that game. Thank you, Tom. And I think you were, you know what, you were right to get out when you did. They're not all like that. Oh, no, no, there's also Settlers of the Third Reich. Did you play that?

You play one of the cards, right? And then game of life? Oh, the game of life. It's a bad game. I was going to say, aren't you? You're like, you're playing it as a 10-year-old, and it's like, you've got a kid, go to college. That was the bit I remember from the. The advert was get married.

Have a baby. Be a winner at the game. Be a winner at a game of life. Okay, there's multiple options for, I mean, you know, as someone who's married and has a baby, yes. I've won the game of life. But also then roll a one. You've got to go on a camping trip. With three sleeping bags.

There's only two of you. You're a loser at the game. There's an 80s party going on in the pub and they're fighting. I don't like. this game please can we stop playing it no you can't one day you will this is not my kids are just talking about the game of death this is the Blair witch project actually it's not the game but that's a weird it's a weird choice for a game to play with kids because it's because it's only played by people who are currently living life it's like board game the board game yeah life's happening to you

right now yeah and you're stopping life to play a game about what life would be like if you weren't making this board game. Exactly. And also you're doing it with like your whole family and only one person wins at the game of life. But I'm not one of those people now when they go, you know, come around for a games night

or do a board game's night. I'm not really, I'm not really into that. I don't think. I think I'm one of the people who's mocking. Not mocking, not mocking. Chatting away in the corner. I just think I'd rather, you know, off you guys can, that's nice. That's why you moved to Exeter, wasn't it?

One invites to play settlers of Catan, and you were like, fuck this. Settlers of Devon. But they come back because your kids, your kids will start playing board games, and then you get back into the world a bit. Yes, but I'm happy playing it with kids. Don't get me wrong. Endangered species bingo. Off we go.

While away an hour. I mean, I do think that we had very bad games when we were kids. Well, Tom did, but let's not talk about games. We're back in. We're back in. I can get a word in Edgeways about... Dragons and rituals. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right.

Oh, no. Down you go. I mean, and chess, of course. Like, I play chess. So I can't rule out all board games. The ultimate board game. The ultimate board game. And I feel like every other board game is kind of.

of just fannying around. I feel like I'm a bit of a purist. You go, just chess has done it. Is that true? Come on. I think that would be true. This sounds like me with the camping at the start of the episode. I just want you know, I'm sort of basically Gary Kasparov.

I'm a grandmaster. I've got chess on my phone and every time I press it, the app has to completely reload because I'm not played for six months. But it's like, you know, it's really. really good, chess. It is good. It's really good. You know, it's not like that fun.

Good. Yeah. It's not like a fun. I see you're really good. And I raise you. Sorry, wrong game. But it's not good. That's what it is.

Yeah. Like Drafts is stealing a living basically. Like Drafts comes along and it's like it's bad chess. That's true. Drafts. But what I like about. drafts is the going on top of the pieces going on top of each

I think that's the thing that they've taken they've taken chess and they've built on it the tessellation also while we're talking about drafts have you ever been your second night your second night oh my God he really comes in a zip doesn't keep it out

I'll tell you that much let's not forget guys I've been camping I'm a camper I'm a camper I'm an outdoors I'm an outdoors basically bear grills I've been camping. We stayed in that hotel.

We went home a day early. You know, you've got to try these things. It was a good story. It was a good story. Are you planning to go again? You know, in the summertime. Yeah, I think we need to revise our game plan next time we go. Do you think, but genuinely, do you think that's it?

Are you drawing a line under it? I really hope not. I think it was a... Why? Because it sounds awful. Why do you? This is like me. This is like me in Centre Parks.

I had one of the worst holidays of all time at Centre Parks. And I'm desperate to go back and prove that I'm right and there wrong, you know. Or I can do it now. No, no. I know how to do it now. I can, you know, it's, again, that's the game. I'm gaming Centre Parks. It feels like the right thing to want to go and do.

I like the idea of it. Isn't that all of life though, Clarkie? That's the game of life, guys. That's the real game of life. I'm doing this because it feels like the thing I should be doing. Yeah. I want to like it, but I don't like it. But maybe if I do it more, I'll like it.

Yeah. Cigars. Cigars, poker. Male friendships. Podcasting. Should we do an episode from Live from a tent? No. I was so up for it.

So up for it. opposite. Clark, he lit up there. He lit up like a fire pit. He really did. There's absolutely no way in hell. I bet, I mean, I barely even want to go camping at a festival anymore. The last full festival I went to, I did glamping. Because I just admit, I'm just, I'm not cut out for it. I don't like it. I have got such horrible memories of like the scout camping trips going with the scouts and just feeling oh, I remember what, like the first meal they cooked

was fish fingers in a frying pan. I thought already. Fish fingers in a frying pan over a bonfire. I thought that feels bad. And then one of the guys was like, oh, I've got a little secret

that I added orange juice to my fish fingers. And so he poured orange juice in the frying pan and they're frying it. And everyone goes, oh great, we're just eating soaked fish fingers. And they're yumming away on them.

And I'm like, right, well, I've made a mistake here because I'm starving hungry. No, my, yes, that's true. He's made the mistake, but everybody else is going along with that mistake. And I am there going,

well, I've come on holiday by mistake to quote with another night. It's like, what am I doing here? And so I said to the camp leaders like, this is not for me. Get me out of here. Yeah. And they, they got me like a...

Booked you to a hotel. I hate his night. They didn't. No, I think I probably said, call my parents. have them come and pick me up. There's a very good chance they call my parents.

My parents said, no, that I feel like that could have, that could happen. I don't know. You know, like, because they're like, no, he's got to do it. And also they're probably,

they're pretty pretty good at a hotel. They're on their third bottle of wine. They're in tent to parks with the three kids they do like. We got rid of him. Oh, by the way, he's deathly allergic to orange juice. It could be fatal. I ate a chocolate bar for my dinner.

And even then you're like, you think this. be exciting. I'm having a jot it above my dinner, but I'm still, I'm sort of hungry and now I'm just wired and I've got to sleep in a tent. And then one of the kids in the tent, who I think weirdly was the guy who was drinking the orange juice on his fish ringers had fucking night terrace. So he had a very vivid dream where, and he leapt up and was like running around the, it was like a big old tent with all the scouts and sort of thing. Running around inside the tent, he ran off in his underwear through the campsite. Oh my God. I just,

thought what am I doing here? This is just not for me. It sounds. We've heard amazing. I was like, I meant lemon. Sorry. I'm squeezing a lemon. I got confused. Oh, it was all awful. It was disgusting. I remember I developed a really big spot on my knee. And it's like, who gets spots on their knees? It's just like, it was just grim. It's absolutely horrible. And I was so delighted to be back home. It's so much nicer being back home. You're outdoors, you know. Yeah. So, yeah.

So, by the way, what I'm meant to say is I went camping. Guys, I've been camping. It's my life now. Same when I slept in my uncle's garden. Yeah. Like on the front room. Took a dub in a flat back. Yeah.

We're campers. We're outdoorsymen. We've all done it, man. We've all done it. We've reached the summit. Feels good. Yeah. Can we close that window, please?

I'd draw the carrots. Yeah. That'd be all right. Well, there we go. An M-night Shyamalan twist, if I remember rightly. You do remember rightly, yeah. Should we talk about our socials? Because our socials go from strength to strength.

If you enjoyed listening to this episode, you may even enjoy watching some clips from it, or indeed the full episode, if you can stomach it again. And you know, like all great M-night Shyamalan movies, they're worth watching two or three times. Three times is never a charm, I always find them. I think it's really when the happening collective place. The first time it's

and then the second one you go, oh yeah, okay. Then the third one you go Oh my dear. How did I not spot this the first time? Never watch it three times. Shame on me.

Shave a love on you. Shave a lot on you, indeed. If you'd like to watch these episodes and all the Flatshire slamdowns that we've done recently that we've been filming those all as well, then get over to our YouTube which is YouTube.com forward slash at Pappy's Flat

share, and you can find entire episodes there, gratis and for free, plus some brilliant clips. We're going to put up some clips of the Miles and Olga episode. They should be up by the time you hear this. You've got to watch the clips, by the way. I think Mickey Overman, she's not just funny to listen to. She's funny to look at as well, you know. She really is. She's one of the funniest people I've met.

She's so great. I thought she was so brilliant. So you're going to want to watch her episode over there as well. Or you can look at it on the TikTok. as well, if you want to go to TikTok. How are we doing on the followers, Clarkie? And what are we on? Just past the 900 mark.

Tantilizingly close to that 1,000. We can do it. We can definitely, definitely do it. So get over to TikTok, subscribe today. Get to YouTube, subscribe today. Follow us on Instagram at Pappy's Comedy. We would love to see you there, guys. It's all great ways to support your boys on their journey of podcasting for the

grave. I like the new. bit you've added on to it Tom I think we're going to go off there with podcasting to the grave when are we getting the tat when are we finally getting the tat podcast into the grave a strider podcast it's a good tat for sure it's a good it's a strong tat anyway join the patreon follow us on social media tell your friends about this podcast like rate review subscribe all of that kind of stuff get the word out there that you boys are on a journey

podcasting Ted Agree Greene G guys TDG we will catch you on the flip side

today's episode was produced by Emma Cautium Cautium Cautium Cautium team Cheers everyone Bye

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