Pappy's Flatshare - Flatshare Pop Round: Swines (Bonus Ep)

Episode Date: January 24, 2023

As a very special treat before we come back properly on February 7th - here’s a little bonus episode for you all to enjoy. It’s the first episode of the year of our weekly Patreon podcast, Flatshare Pop Round.If you’d like to hear more Flatshare Pop Round - then join our Patreon to get all the old episodes and a new episode every week.Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareFind tickets to all our live shows here - pappyscomedy.com/live Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greetings, listener dear, I'm Tom, I'm Ben, I'm Matthew and welcome to a very special bonus episode. The series proper hasn't started just yet, our 2023 series hasn't started, we'll be back with a brand new series on February the 7th. We've got a fantastic first fight to show you. Delighted to have got recommissioned. Great to be asked back for a new series. Great to be asked back. It's a very weird feeling.

Yeah. This is what we've realised is if we are in charge of the commissioning process, we do a lot better. The projects that we ourselves have complete control over, they just keep carrying on. So here we are at the top, man. You're so far, Tom. Yeah.

Yeah, we're all middlemen. Well, increasingly low and low down the, we're all lower middlemen. We're all bottoms. If I had to run a high street shop for my clothes, middlemen's not a bad way to go. Middlemen. Next to topman and you're just kind of like slightly less good styles. Would you use the song? That's a tagline. That's a tagline with your tagline for your moving.

New movie. It's like less good styles. Yeah, I like that. Who would you, who would be the face of your, I mean, obviously there's the three of us, but who would you think would be the face of your, of your, of your high street chain? Oh, the McGanns. Lovely. Perfect. Absolutely. Perfect. Yeah. Yeah, the McGann brothers. You have to fork out for the shoot, I'm sure, but you know, you'd have to try and get them all. Good luck trying to arrange that diary. Well, I think we don't tell them, we just try and take photographs of them, guerrilla style, with paparazzi lens.

We're wearing our clothes. Yeah, well, we see the proposes the clothes on. Whatever they're wearing is pretty much what we're selling, I imagine. So, you're the little men, come of the hour, come of McGam. And it's the... Oh, yes, please. Yeah, that's great. Would you use the song Middleman by TeraVision in the TV advert?

You've got to. You've simply got to. Don't blame the middleman. Well, if you're still listening folks after that, welcome to this bonus episode. What we thought we'd do is we recorded the first episode of our flat share pop round, which is our Patreon only show, which we do every single week. And so there's a brand new episode of that

over on the Patreon, but you can listen to it now, gratis and for free, because this is what this episode is. We thought it was a fun episode. It's quite a good introduction to what we do over on the Patreon. So you can have a listen to that. And also, we wanted to promote what we do in the episode, but we're going to do it now as well, the next two flat-shear slam downs, because all the time, Feb 7th rolls around. There's a real good chance it'll have sold out. So yeah, because that's when the first, the first flat chest slam down comes out. But if you want to come and see us live, 27th February, you should be there Tom.

I've said it before, I'd love to, I'd love to be able to sit in the audience and watch us do our thing, but I'll ask the tragedy of us. I'll never be able to do that. Well, you can live. The idea is you can, you can live our dream. You can let, you know, nothing tragic about our listeners' lives, because you can actually be there live watching us, the thing we can never watch ourselves.

27th and 28th of February, and we've got some really stunning lineups. It's a really, really strong start to the year. February 27th, it's a Monday, we have got James A. Castor. What? I know, Well, let's not... LAUGHTER At time of press, we have got James A. Castor and Abyannette. Absolutely brilliant.

Two heroes, both returning to the podcast after appearing at the Mac Festival. They've both performed at Mac, they've never performed on the Terra Firm, the home turf of the Phoenix. And then on the 28th, we've got Catherine Boe Hart and we've got Harry Hill. Oh my goodness, so excited about that. We've been excited, we've been asking Harry to do it for years. Things are turning around for us now, you know? That's right, I know. Finally Tim Key, does it? Finally Harry Hill, does it? Yes. The commission.

This might be the year to ask Linnika. Yes. He's been batting us away. That's right, the middleman. Come on. Not after the prank that Clark had played on him the other day. Oh, I'm sorry. I just couldn't help myself.

I was talking about Wayne Linnika. Oh, that's my brother. That'll be easier. Not after the prank I play done in the other. That is absolute banter, Tom. So anyway, fantastic lineups, 27th of February, 20th of February. What's the year? Now, here's the thing.

If you join the Patreon, you get discounted tickets. And if you want to come to both shows, whether or not you remember the Patreon, if you want to come to both shows, whether or not you remember the Patreon, if you want to come to both shows, there is one ticket that can get you into both shows that is cheaper than the rest. I think it costs ten quid a ticket to get into the shows, 17 if you want to come to both. With the right tickets away. And of course, you want to come to both. Exactly. And look, if you're looking for something to do with your Christmas money, then a Patreon might be a lovely year-round present to give yourself.

So for four-quit-a-month, join the Patreon, join our online community, and basically every Thursday, we get to stick out PopRound. It's a bit of a more relaxed affair as reading through listeners' emails, looking about playing some games, trying to get some new features off the ground. So you can have a listen to our pop round and and see what you think. Enjoy. All heap of fun. Get on board guys. It's a whole heap of fun. Get on board guys. And enjoy. Did you?

Did you enjoy? Greetings! Listen to me! It's you, it's me, it's 2023! I'm Tom, I'm Ben, and I'm Matthew, and welcome to the first of the year, the first episode of the year of the Fantastic, Pappappy's Flash Air Pop Rounds. It's every week to start your day. Flash Air Pop Rounds. Very exciting.

Very exciting. Yes, absolutely. And you, of course, have been, have been trying. As a sort of new as resolution, as a new year, new me type thing, the catch phrase, it's you, it's me, it's 2023. How has it been playing in day to day? It's actually gone down a lot better than it's me. It's you, it's 2022 actually.

It's a marked improvement and no one can put their finger on why. I think you know what it is, is that you put the, it's you put the other person first. Yeah, that's automatically like that, don't they? Yeah. You know, if you're to meet somebody and say, it's me, it's you. By the time you get to it's you, they're thinking, why is he always talking about himself? Whereas, you know, you're a good date now because you're putting them in front and center.

And of course, it's just a more fun year to say, isn't it 2023? I never said 2022. You know this already. I never said 2022 all the way through 2022. I said 2020. I was constantly saying. Yeah, but you boycotted the year. It was a weird new year's resolution to have crossbeard. I was going to go back to the best year of my life. What happened that year? Oh, yeah, I had a birthday and then the world shut down. Hello, are you? Was that the main, was that the first spreading event? I think my birthday was definitely a super spreader event, yeah, you know. That went marked in Wuhan. We were placed, we're doing now because that was where you were having the party. Kind of thought we got a guy. You know, it was B.

It was B.Y.O.B. wasn't it? Bring your own bat. That's right. Yeah. It's hard to stick 40 candles on a cake, whereas a bat. White shirt. It's got a huge wind swing span. Yeah. Actually, your own bat. Everyone was buying their own bats. It was a, I play a little bit of, um, I was the Osborne.

I just chucked back to that. Everyone had a great time. I really have a good time. Listen, we've all had a nice time. And let's never forget that. Let's never forget that. So it's great to be, it's great to be back. It's very exciting to be back. It is, isn't it? It's a really, it does feel like the right way too. You know, when you get to the swimming pool and you don't want to dive straight in, you want to kind of dip your legs in, go down the steps, slide into the pool.

Yes, this is us sliding into the year. Yeah. And you know, I want a time to do it, because it's like midway through January. We're not even, you know, I'm sure there are plenty of podcasts that started up again on the first, you know like diving into the serpentine Oh, yeah, fuck that you can't bomb into people's ear canals. No, no, no, you've got to ease yourself. Ease yourself back Into the real world and that's what we're that's what we're doing. Is it worse though dipping your toe into someone's ear canal We'll have to find out when we do toe cast.

That's our other thing is as a nation. Apart from Tom's catchphrase, we're launching toe cast where we say, one of us. Yeah. Top cast. Yeah. He's already on.

We're releasing it on for 20. There is no for 20 is there in the in the in the UK calendar is there. There's 24. Yeah. Okay. Every catch raises. Sorry. Do you have your catchphrases, Cronley? Anyway, yes. So we're launching Coke cast on 420 anyways, as always. Did you have a nice jaunt and a nice break?

Yeah, man. It was quite... You know what? Last year we did way too much. Last last year was two two episodes a week. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Christmas 2021 was busy. Really, sorry, Christmas 2021 was busy. Christmas 2020 last year was a lot quieter, much, much quieter. And it's the way it's the way to play it, you know, just like we were constantly having guests

around the year before and it just, it grinds, it grinds you down. It's really fun. It isn't. Yeah. That's the thing. How about you, Barry? How about you, Clarkie? Not too bad. It was very tiring. I think I need to do what you do next year. And take it down a notch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Spend time with Matthew's wife and children. Yeah, that's it. I'm not going to be a bit weird from after you.

No, I'd love that. Honestly, you wouldn't be... Could I tell you now? Yet another member of my family is obsessed with Clarkie. So obviously, we already know Luke Crosby, the biggest Clarky fan out there, really. Well, now my daughter, Cleo, is, you know, you say to her, of an evening, you know, good night, darling, what are you going to dream about tonight? And she will say, I'm going to dream about Clarky. Right.

She's causing Clarky Big Big, she calls him. I'll dream about Clarky Big Big. He's done makes him sound like he's from the sopranos. Well, this is it. Yeah. Is there some sort of protection racket you've got? Is it? Is it intimidating?

Is that the reason? I probably stole a horse's head, sleep next to him. But yeah, big, big fan of Clarky. Big fan of Clarky Big Big Fan of clocky, big fan of clocky. Big, big fan of clocky. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I was, I thought about you guys over the Christmas period because I didn't think of you at all. It's about the result of nice Christmas. I'm not saying it's one of them. The WhatsApp exchange is a testament to that. Well, I've consecutive sense. No, I thought, I don't know if you saw one of the BBC's flagship programmes, this Christmas was the boy, the mole, the fox and the horse. Oh, did you see that?

No, I've not even heard of this. I've not watched it. I kept trying to convince my daughter to watch it, Cleo, and she just looked boring. It's not for kids. It's definitely not for kids. What it looked like to me was, is it like, so you know that thing that has become very popular

of Winnie the Pooh, right? Drawings of Winnie the Pooh, like very popular of Winnie the Pooh, right? Drawings of Winnie the Pooh, like pencil drawings of Winnie the Pooh and then like some sort of aphorism next to it. It's, you know, some sort of Instagram you think, it felt like that, but the TV show. Well, the book, it's based on a book that was two or three years ago, was like the best seller at Christmas.

Oh yeah. And that's exactly it. It's a weird story of a boy who's looking for home, but he finds a mole, they find a fox, and then they find a horse, and every page is just a different aphorism really. Right. And it's like this kind of, you know, like, you know, be like the boy will be like, I'm cold on the moral goal. Cold is just the feeling of warmth trying to get out. Yeah. And then that kind of war calm.

I've turned blue. Oh, for that. I'm like, I wish you'd written it. The fuck will be like, that fox seems lonely. And it's like a loneliness is just standing around, waiting for a friend. It's like that. And so like they animated that.

Yeah, and it's like, it only is made. I'm like, I'm like, did that. And yeah, I don't only French, that's why I'm lonely. Yeah. And it was like a bust on where they come along every five minutes. So it was like that basically. And like, in the end, the horse sprites wings and can fly a spoiler alert.

But it's like, it's most certainly not for kids. And like, but it's all for adults, but the sounds that they see the page is kind of like this, you know, where is home? Maybe we already are home. Home is just people who want to help you get home, or whatever it may be. That's how all the characters talk. Good. I'm gutted now, because I thought it's something that everyone had seen, because I was going to, it made me for the first time in years.

I was like, I would love it if puppies were still gigging to do a sketch about the boys. Oh, really? Oh, the fuck's the boss. You've got to feel like the first decade. The first decade. Yeah, like, it comes on as the boy, and he's got a little pet mole,

and they're talking to each other. It's all very sweet, and then the fox joins in, then, and then the horse is just like an absolute rock. I mean the casting really works itself out. If you're like you know when you're scared a hug can make you brave like a shield and then the horse is like and we have a stuck game for cow's dick? And everyone's like, oh, should we need to find shelter? Yes, friendship can be as warm as shelter as a leaf. Oh, have you ever slicked shit? Can we get away from the horse please? Is it like, is he licking shit?

Is it like, just like, just like really ruining the vibe? Oh, yeah. But if it's not, if it's not something that's in the of the two views here would be a tricky bitch I'm familiar with it. Yeah. Yeah. No, I Make it a sore laughs. I mean now it fail miserably Very same thing like it. Yeah Initially then bad idea I'm up for it though. Asaz. Yeah, yeah, for it.

Get back out there. Played a great game of guest, the voice during it from the Irish horse. Oh, yes. Because it was Gabriel burn. And he's absolutely one of those guys who's in the sweet spot of you can reckon, you recognize that voice. Yeah, do you do you get to Gabriel burn? Yeah, I get to try to hunt him down and beat the fuck out of him.

You don't have to stick your hoof up his dick. You don't quite get to Gabriel burn. You kind of guys. He's behind a lot of people. Anyway, that was that's really resumstanduated yeah yeah I think the question how was the large Christmas dinner yes how did you do it oh I like he's big big Christmas dinner okay big big Christmas dinner yeah it was tough I had to do it across two different ovens. I had to do beef as well as turkey. And now these are these are now because I know you went to Scotland for it was one of the

ovens in your house and the other one was in Scotland. Yeah, yeah, it was it was a hell of a commute. It's a hell of a missed out fire to try. And one of the ovens would perpetually smoke, so every time you opened it, it would set off the fire alarms, so both. As would the chef, am I right? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Did you serve dinner at 420? Do we have 420? It's munchy. It's 20-23.

Welcome to ToteCast. But generally, I think it was a success, I'd say. Are you going to do it again? Or is it now, as the mantle been passed on? I'm never going to do it for those guys. No, I'm not. do it for those guys, not on that one. You're not gonna make it. You're not gonna back to that family, are you?

I think they told me to fuck off, basically. But weirdly, you didn't know them, did you? That's what I was waiting for. It wasn't your family. Yeah, did a lot of complaining about their two others. Was this this weird, this poor Is family that you arrived at? Well, the first thing it was you knocked a wall through to the other kitchen. Didn't you?

It's first thing you know, the neighbor's neighbor's kitchen. Oh, I've, I've ever got hiccups. I haven't had hiccups in apps at ages. It's because it's because you've left an ages being in a sketch group making sketches together You're right back I'm sorry to drink with ages I mean I've broken into hives

I'm gonna have to I'm out of the chin this coffee a bit warm Well, it'll at least warm. But it's a little bit burning. It's a bit burning. I've got a good question for you. Who won our big fat quiz of the year? Tom. Now, right, let me... Let me... Let me... Let me...

Let me... Take it to the dock. Oh, can I... Tom, now, right, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, Oh yes. Several ex files, aficionados. Oh, the year, Tom and I, This is all covered in the dock man. Is it in the dock? Of course. Come on, you think people haven't tried and did with that. Let's get into the dock, because the quiz is in the dock, this is in the dock,

and we'll pick through it, we'll pick through it. Let's tick dock into the dock. That's a good point actually Right do you want to start Harry with this message from Simon? Do you want to get? I will start by getting into the dock. Sorry, I'm not doing that big deal so much. Get yourself into the dock mate, absolutely. So checking upon a package that's about to be delivered. OK, yep, absolutely do.

Do a little bit of life ad monger in there. That's the way you let the jingles. They're long enough that you can really do. I've found my VAT. That's the way you've got the jingles. They're long enough that you can't really do. I've found my VAT. Oh, don't. Oh, there. Yeah, this is it's got to, it has to happen, man. It has happened.

Yeah, anyway, let's not, let's not depress people who are, you know, knocking on the door at the end of the tax year. Right, this is from Simon, uh, Powery. Have you, can you see it there? Yes, all in capitals, tombs from Simon via Papi's Flatshow at gmail.com. Dear old Matthew Langtom, Simon Ben and acquaintance in that. Really good. Lovely start from Simon there. Happy new year. I hope you had a great time of it in that big old house

that all the comedy podcasters definitely live in. We're in the basement. Let me have a cup of dinner. Have we been, have we been short this did for the comedy awards? It's in the doc mate, it's all in the doc. It's in the dock mate, it's all in the dock. LAUGHTER Oh! Stop trying to leave it. It's totally around. It's all mentioned.

Trust the dock parry. It's a dock right on my alley. I can tell you that. Oh my god. Oh, my god. Yeah. No, hang on. Wait, the door is open.

It's probably the door with the package. I think I've just had a miss call. I'm pretty sure it'll be my delivery. OK, I'll carry on reading this message out. You go and run to the front door and chase the guy down the street. OK. No, yeah, well, hang on. Bobby won't. Hang on.

Hang on, hang on. I think we're quite a bad podcast. We just waited for a little bit. So I just wanted to add my voice, right, Simon, to the hordes, no doubt rushing to let you know that Eugene Tooms is set to strike again in 2023. I'm sure left your stretched out stockings over the fire, but I'm not sure if he's a rival. So the next message comes in from Neil. I'll read the next bit. I mean, I'll have to jump around a little bit because the next bit is for Paris, but another message comes in from Neil, important 2023 anniversary

update from Neil, via papysflatshareitgmail.com. Dear Emma, Matthew, Tom and Ben, in order of the number of Google results for your name in quotation marks, now I'll tell you now, caution, you are a rare breed because you get a mere 5,660. I'm not, yeah, but there's only one me. There's only one of them. There's only one of them. There's only one of them. There's only one of them.

There's only one of them. There's only one of them. There's only one of them. There's only one of them. There's only one of them. There's only one of them. There's only one of them. There's only one of them.

There's only one of them. There's only one of them. There's only one of them. There's only one of them. There's only one of them. There's only one of them in the quotation marks, but yeah. So you're get see my whole internet existence when you're getting that. Harry, I get 54,000, sorry, 54 million, 7,000. So it leaps right up. Then I'll hang on a sec. 54 numbers. I think the number wrong there. So it's 54,700. So, so, parry gets 55,700. I get 55,000 and then Clarky gets 392,000. I don't know how there are more Ben Clarks. It feels like that. But your daughter doesn't know how to use Google, yeah. Oh, Clarky Big Big gets, oh, get to well over a million hits. Yeah, I'm in the order of the number of Google results for your name

in quotation marks? Yeah. There we go. It's a good one. Neal writes. Sorry, gone. Um, that's all I look to give you a couple of minutes again.

So we'll have an interview. Did you get it? Did you enjoy the teams? Did you enjoy the teams chat? Tom, it's in the dark mate. Oh, if you want to, trust the dark. This is the second tomb's message we're on here. We're going to read both tomb's messages and then we'll get into the, we'll get into

the dark. It's 2023 and you know what that means. Yes, it's 30 years since 1993, which means we're due an emergence of friend of the podcast, Eugene Victor Tooms. Now, you may say to me, but Neil Tooms was institutionalized from 1993 to 1994, disrupting his cycle and then got chewed up and killed by an escalator. And to that, I would say, grow up, that was just a teleprogram. The real Eugene Victor Tooms lives in our hearts and in our livers, squeeze everyone by.

To me, Glasgow. So we've had two mesh measures, one from Simon, one from Neil to say that tombs is back. Tombs is here. It's the year of tombs. Holy shit. So do we need to now set up the tombs cast? Because you know, like a lot of people,

they clock these things, these sort of zeitgeisty things. I've seen a lot of traders podcasts, you know, popping up now, because everyone's into the traders. What do you think about a toomscast for 2023? You can do it. I think we should definitely do it. And you know, we're releasing it for 20. Or 20, maybe?

Just to read the last bit of Simon's message, the first message. It's more directly for you, Tom. Yes, that's a real idea. Also, the latest episode of the Lawman podcast, spelled L-O-R-E-M-E-N, has just informed me that as late as the 18th century pigs selected the new mayor in my childhood home of Leicester, I hope that fans shall approve. Wow. That's really good.

Yeah, it's good. It's good. These are one by Simon, birthday, a pig. You shall be there one day, mate. You shall be as late as the 18th pig's selected the mayor of Leicester. Great. Do you know what? It's not a bad idea for like, I think a pig will be able to do a better job than the British

facing public. Oh, it's a good chance, yeah. I think we should bring it back. Bring back the pig system. Absolutely. What a pig's into their intelligent guys, aren't they? I think we should bring it back. Bring back the pig system. Absolutely. What a pig's into, their intelligent guys aren't they?

They're intelligent. They're intelligent. Yeah. They're up there with dogs in terms of problem solving and forming relationships. And also whenever you see a pig, they're always like basically lying down, having a sleep. So I sort of like their ethic, you know,

smart, but they appreciate a bit of relaxation, you know? Yeah. And they can't look at the sky. They can't look at the sky, they can't look up. Yeah. There's a lot of tick talks of people holding up the pigs so that they can see the sky. I don't know what's going on in the world.

Can they roll on the gutter? They can roll on guy. I don't know what's going on in the world. They roll in the gutter, but they can roll on the gutter. They can roll on the gutter. Roll on their back and look down. Good point. Good point, crossing. Well, I would say rolling your back and look. It's still be called it, look it up, wouldn't you? I just wanted to say.

Instead of rolling the gutter out, we've all got a trotter. We've all got a trotter and none of us can look at the stars. Ors and swells. I know it wasn't us than swells, was it? Was it worse? It was swell! Are you thinking of horse and the pig from Charlotte's Wed? Maybe, that's what I've got to be.

Horses and swells! I didn't know not only do you have a new character, you've got a new character Horses and swells. The Piggier Direct's movies. Tom, I feel like this is our year, listen, I know anybody who's recently expressive, but I feel like that we've got, we've got, what about down on the farm with Pappies? This is our new show, right? We've got the mole, the fox, the horse, and now we've got Orson Swells, the picket directs movies. Yeah, but it's got to be, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's hogs to wild, isn't it?

It's not Orson Welles who said we're on the guts of, but someone was a look at this time. Orster Welles. Yeah. Well, hogs to wild in Orson Swells, you know, I know they'd probably never, they're a pair. We're right. This could be a puppy's life show that I'll tell you what, that's a sketch.

This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This could be a puppy's life show that I'll tell you what that's the sketch is it this is it I think this is more of a kids to TV show And I'm that kind of sketch that wouldn't get past bright and fringe, you know what I mean? Brighton fringe and then a fond farewell. They were forgiving audience, but Austin swells and hogs and wild The crime solving literary detectives Sput, Orson, Swills, and Hogs and Wild. The crime-solving literary detectives. This is a job for Swills and Wild. Yeah, the crimes can never happen in the sky or in a shelf.

I've already heard that. They say you jumped from the 13th floor up there. Where? I don't know, actually. That's better than I've heard. All I know is he hit the ground. He hit the ground. We're all looking at the ground,

but some of us are looking at the stars. We're all looking at the ground, and some of us are also looking at the ground. And another message in here, this is from... Oh, hang on, just very quickly. How did Charlotte's web work then? To Charlotte's web. We're two and two together for Charlotte's web.

Charlotte's web, for some reason, because Charlotte, the spider was writing about the pig. Everyone thought the pig was amazing. That's that was that was what I think you said you couldn't look up to see the web though. Is that what you're asking Tom? Yeah, I'm saying. There's they've lied to us. I think I think moving your neck up and being able to see up, you know, from a distance. If I get, Jeremy, we're not to look up. Double dare. Old, clarky, big, big talk over there.

It's love him. Adults don't. What would you say can Wilber see his own web, the web? Well, Charlotte's not going to do it in a place out of his eyeliner. I mean, you know, not until Wilbur and Charlotte have an argument and she's like writing what a twat. Twat, and they're pointing down. Twat, thing on the right.

It's another good, it's another good puppy sketch right there. And it's like, Charlotte will be about a four and a half and Charlotte's absolutely big. Mostly pig related. It's a pig. Yeah, it's a very, it's a pig. Yeah, it's called puppies on the farm. Swines.

I think, yeah, puppies in Swill, yeah, or swines, yeah. Swines is a good one. That's the sketch is us. Is that his pigs? We, we perform it in the Pleasants trough. We ask them to set a separate... A separate menu just for us. It's outdoors. We're just rolling around in mud.

Some days people sharpen it's just the three of us lying on the ground. Not one of the people. I just fucking love it. Oh, I'd be up for that in a heartbeat. So our different Mick has got back in touch. You know Mick got in touch to ask if you were in the TV show Spaced Tom. Yes. Oh, yeah.

You know mid-90s TV show Spaced. He asked you a few, you're in it. Dear Emma, Ben, Tom, and Matthew in descending order of testicles, in my opinion. No offense as a 51 year old monotestical man, I tuck mine into my sock. That's really, it's really painted a picture of us. I'm offended, I'm offended. You've got enormous nuts, haven't you, Corsham?

Yeah, I keep them in my socks as well. Yeah, yeah, and they're not attached to your, and you're about to find it. I keep finding the other hole. I hope you're well and rested off the Christmas hiatus. Before the break, you read out a comment I made on Patreon about Tom being in space. The thrill I got from this was weirdly satisfying,

almost worthy of a love-sec shag down. Well, I included a screenshot of the scene in no question. Now I look at it, I must have been drunk watching it. There's little to no resemblance at all. I just include an actual picture of Tom and Casey forgotten what he looked like without the hair plugs and big fur coat which I've seen me now sports after the enormous success of your Christmas or mine, which me and my partner enjoyed very much over Christmas. By the way, love the partner. I hope you smash the channel for podcast award thing you told us to vote for, which I did. Cheers everybody.

Bye, love Nick. And you know what, I'm gonna give Nick a tiny little bit of credit, I sort of see it. Yeah, there's a tiny bit of resemblance. And there's a tiny bit of resemblance. What I like about Nick is he and I have the same people spotting skills. Yeah. I like Mickies kind of a breaddrin of mine

because that's exactly the kind of show I'd have made. Yeah, like if I wasn't me, I'd have seen that and gone, guys, that's Tom Perry. And Tom, don't do yourself down. Your people watching, your people spot, this is so poor. If it was you, you still might have said that I've got a feeling I might have been in that. I know I was in a lot back in the 90s.

Yeah, you know what, I would say that guy owes more to the Carl Pilkington. It's a bit more like Carl Pilkington, then he does Tom Pary, but I definitely see it. So yeah, the the the comedy awards. We got longlisted, very exciting, longlisted for the comedy awards. I think I think voting closed this week and who knows, you know, we'll have to wait and see. They timed it very awkwardly to when we weren't actually podcasting for us to actually push for a vote. This is the conspiracy. I don't think so. Maybe it's the absence makes the heart go just grow fond of it and maybe you've got more of it.

The absence of us being able to tell people via the podcast that they all listen to, that is the problem. I tried to do it on Instagram and I still can't really work Instagram so I didn't. I tried. I have no idea how people are doing what they do. Did you say, do you say, best, production would bet that they've ever seen. Picture the three of us then please vote for us in the end. People like repost stuff with like writing over the top of it

and movement and stuff and I just do not know how they've done it. When you say movement you talk in videos. Little gifts. Yeah. There's got to be like a class in a local village hall that does this kind of stuff for you. Yeah, like they do.

In Apple, they do like old people how to use iPhone. It's like I feel like I need to have like two hour go on Instagram with someone because not a clue. Yeah. And you see like other people doing dynamic stuff and you're like, yeah, yeah, that's going to get people voting and that's dynamic. And it's like, yeah, I wouldn't even know where to begin. Yeah, yeah. I did, I did put it all up on our, on our socials. I've seen more people are doing it now because it's like the last.

Um, I don't want to be like defeatist. But like last year, I think it was an off menu, parenting hell, and the Chris and Rosie Ramsey podcast. Yeah, I think that if you can feel in a reason that you've probably got a head start on us. I think that's it. Yeah, you know, it sort of is a popularity contest literally. Yeah. Because it's a vote. But yeah, I mean, I did, I did all of that. If it's

still, like, if it is still up and running, then I'll pop up on the socials again today. But I've got on the website. It says voting will open soon. And that's it. I saw. No, no, it doesn't. I've been on there channel for a website. Yeah, now the long list is done. Oh, I see. Then you get a shorter list, I think you can say that. No, no, no, no, no, no, because I voted for us. Have you voted for us? Well, that's a long list, yeah.

A long list, yeah. Ah, no, a long list. Like too many of my podcasts kept advertising that I should vote for them. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, in the podcasting game. Eh? Emila Bands. Yeah, we'll start. I hope for them. Then just for us. For us. Oh, OK. Yeah. And then.

That's what I want to say. Is that's beside the point? And I did, no, it's Patrick, the super vet. I did one for him. Why are you still hopping on about who started you off? Of course. We're not talking about who started you off anymore. Who's finished this move?

Who's finished my career? Yeah. Thank you, yeah, guys. It's talking. This isn Thank you, yeah, guys. This isn't, this is your life. Well, I'm sorry, the voting is too late now, the voting from the long list is shut. Who did you vote for?

I didn't vote for any of you. I just got too overwhelmed and panicked and I didn't vote for anything. I'm a terrible human being. No, no, no, no, no, not at all caution. We're very appreciative of all your hard work. But obviously if we don't end up on the, I'll make sure this you're fired. I appreciate it. Yeah, finishing not starting the career, but finishing it off. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We've finished your. We've had you better. No one asked. Sorry for my podcast. That question. By the way, we'll go out. We will have a love sex shagging out coming up. So please get it to touch. At hisflatshareitgmo.com. Please, us who finished you off. I had a, I had a, I had a idea for a feature today.

Yes. Yes. And it stems from, I mean, we're in a WhatsApp group. We already shared this but I do think it's I thought there's a good feature in it I was reading a bit of blurb around badly drawn boy. Oh, yeah, I got a festival. Oh, yeah, and the blurb says He talks about bewilder beast is Mercury Prize-winning debut album then it says since then he has cemented his national treasure treasure status With albums including the same track to about a boy now I would argue that's his only other successful album after this I think that's true yeah I cannot think I don't think you can pass badly drawn boy

I as a national treasure certainly not as a cemented national treasure. Yeah, I think it's bandied around quite a lot. Right. Yeah. So he's the thing, like, we'll see a sort of treasure and he's good. Yeah, national nickname. He's a national nickname. He's a right national nickname. So I think, I can I just say as well, I love Baddie Droomboi. I think I think especially that first album, I think he's absolutely brilliant. I love him. drum boy, I think that first album, I think he's absolutely brilliant. I love him. Love that first album. Love the about a boy's own track. That doesn't get you to national treasurestates. No. No, Bob. This is very, this feels a little bit like,

did you see the Caroline Polly check thing that happened on Twitter recently, where she said, can everyone please stop calling me the next Kate Bush? And to her credit, lots of people have called her in articles, but it really isn't something you can complain about. She's got apps, absolutely. It's worth finding that tweet and just looking at the quote tweets because she got absolutely slaughtered. And now every tweet she does, there's somebody who actually listens to our podcast, the adult mom, the band adult mom, is retweeting her tweets going, isn't this a Kate Bush?

It's very fun, but yeah, you can't mention, once someone says you're national treasure, all you can do is be, is demure and, you know, be humble about it. So I think we can have a feature where it's national treasure watch or whatever it is. And whenever our listeners, either our listeners could submit someone. Is it National Treasure Hunt?

National Treasure Hunt. Oh yeah. So it's National Treasure Hunt. Well, it's one of two ways, basically. Either we become the arbiters of National Treasure. And if you see, if the listeners see someone being described as National Treasure, they can submit it to us and we can rule on it. Or you submit someone who you think is a national treasure and every week we confirm or deny whether they are after a small healthy debate.

Yeah, I love it. Yeah, really. And then we can get, what we can do over the course of the year is come up with a definitive gallery of national treasures. And you know, maybe I think already that talk of like national nicknacks, we can, there'll certainly be a holding gallery. I think people who are on their way, but not there yet. But you know, I feel like we can figure that out. And, but, but actually that's the, there's the nailed on gallery of national treasures. These people are in the holding room. These people definitely aren't.

We're like these experts on Antique's Roadshow and people bring along a little national Nicknack. And we go, sorry, that's a reproduction. That's five pounds. We're not in my opinion, smash it up. That's right. It's like a national treasure hunt or national treasure roadshow. I like it. I really, really like it, man. I think it's right. It's like a national treasure hunt or national treasure road show. Whatever.

I really, really like it, man. I think it's good. Because also as well, there are people who are young, like people who are under 40 who have achieved, I would say, the phrase national treasure been used for them a lot. And that's always interesting, isn't it?

Well, you got like, I mean, we take it as given Attenborough, right? Attenborough. Who's over 40, I think? National treasure, Julie Dehch. Just about. National treasure. Yeah.

These are, these are people who you can definitely call them national treasures. Why must Julie Walters, National treasure, right? Yeah. You know, these are people who are absolutely national treasures. Julie Andrews. Julie Andrews, National treasure. All the two. Anyone could be. So you're featured. absolutely national treasures. Julianne. Julianne Drew's national treasure.

Anyone could make a huge midjouly from, midjouly from Ali G. David Tennant. Yeah. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The make cracks open. Because the thing, the person I was thinking of is Ryland.

You know, and I feel like Ryland gets national treasure used. And I, obviously, am a huge, huge fan of the man. I think he's absolutely brilliant, absolutely wonderful. But national treasure, it's a big question. It's a big question. It's, you know, it's a heavy crown to wear the national treasure. Absolutely. You know, it's hard to crown to wear the national treasure. Absolutely. You know, it's hard to learn.

Yeah, I think we need to work out. Like, either it's when you use, you, you, what, I think it can be both. If you read somewhere, someone being described as national treasure submitted to us, that's part of our national treasure watch hunt. But we can also have, you could submit people and we can tell you whether they are or not. Happy'sflatshare at gmail.com, getting touch guys, happy'sflatshare at gmail.com, getting touch now with your national treasures or of course you can tell us on Patreon. I stupidly typed it while we were talking into Google Images and of course it's all the

national treasure movie with Nicholas Cage. All every image is Nicholas Cage and national treasure. And listen guys, we shouldn't really have to say it's but I feel like maybe we should. Don't come on. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. Because we can't.

It's not for us to say. We can't be the arbiters. We can't own national treasure status. We can't, we simply can't. That's for you to decide. And maybe, maybe tweet about, you know, it's just, you know, it's for you to tell you about. Yeah, you know, just, but don't, because we don't want to be put into that position

today. Not today. Not today. Maybe it's not in this year. Speaking of new features, Tom, you. Oh, yes, you're surgery. I've had a facelift certainly in the end of me. No, you're in Turkey.

Well, you, me. Excuse me. You breaking up or breaking up? Who you, me, me, 2020? Oh, sorry. No, I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry. Sorry, I didn't.

That's not what it sounded like. It's it's like the new. It sounded like you were talking backwards. So you like someone that started rubbing out of your pants, you should be back in your little red room. Someone just started reminding you. He's going back to 2020. I'm going to be here.

I'm going to be here. I'm going to be here. What are 2020. What a great year. A simple time. But do you have the time? Ever. Do you have Tom's new feature? Because Tom sent us this over the break over WhatsApp. And I'm excited to hear this. Right. I've got a strong new feature because I don't have a Twitter account anymore

and I'm deprived of that creative outlet and the world is deprived of my creative input. I'm gonna have a section called, I don't know, we'll work it out. It's essentially me doing Twitter live, so throughout the week things that I would have tweeted I make a note of and then I just read out a couple of them. And if I listen to this like them they can send a retweet or a reply or what they'd have done on Twitter.

Big, big stuff, strong year. Can I have big, big stuff? Big, big, big stuff, strong year. Just in case you were... Of the catchphrase. Just in case you were thinking how Tommy's on the podcast is a bit of a character that really was paid to that room. He stripped off as well during that listening to that. He took off a jumper layer. Got so excited. Yeah, well you've got

a you've got to you've got to strip down for a for a brand new feature. So what about Tom? I feel free to reject this, but what about Pappy to tweet you? Love that. Great. Really good. Pappy to tweet you. I have extremely parried to tweet you. What about Pappy Tom, Pappy Tom tweet you? Pappy Tom tweet you. Okay. Brand new features. Pappy Tom tweet you. She'll get work on Jingle please. Pappy Tom tweet you. Tom, Tom Witter was too short for you guys. Is it? Tom Witter was good. Tom Witter was great. No, Tom Witter is when Tom reads out the lyrics of shed seven. And his, his, his, his, his, Oh, a lovely reference all the way back from 1996.

To the eye. Oh, it is, of course. You listen to Steve LeMax. Now, let's see. So I've got, I've got, I mean, I've got a lot because it's been a few weeks. Can I also say, by the way, what a great outlet this has been for me, knowing that I can still put things out there that I would have put on. This is great.

This is great, you know, and you know what? It's about refining the audience. The people on the Patreon, they're a good gang. We know that already. You're not going to get any classic numpties. So we've got a good team here. Tom, OK. Talk us through your first week.

Is the Dimagio mentioned in Madonna's Vogue, Joe the baseball player? That can't dance to or what? Is this a written in code? It's under like a spoken poet. It's like it's definitely written all in caps. We know that much. Is the Dimagia mentioned in Madonna's Vogue, Joe the baseball player, that can't dance to or what? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, it's good. It's good. Joe the baseball player that can't dance to or what? Yeah

Okay, yeah, it's good. It's good Okay second one I think it's is it yeah gone. Sorry. I'll do my reply in a second Toast done under the grill be brittle as all shit. Yo Toast done under the grill be brittle as all shit yo Wait, you've got a persona for these two eggs as well toast times the grill be brittle as all shit yo I'll give it a little heart reply. That's it. That's you're getting you're getting a little like you get a like off of that one Pretending I've not seen these What do you call a group of sharks shiver? Okay, brrr. What do you call a group of sharks? Shiva. Okay. Brrr. What do you call a group of sharks?

Brrr. Tricky won that one. Tricky won to do that. No one. That feels more like a sketch. I'm going in the show. It's going to be very confusing with us for snouts on, but I think more one though. It is.

Yeah, the more I'm joking. Yeah, it's different. yeah yeah people are chatting to each other they're talking about sharks I'll do three more okay my favorite cocktail you ask I'd probably have to say vodka and prime oh yes please vodka and prime oh my my god. I like that. You know what? It's zeitgeisty. Honestly. I don't, I've got, I've got a retweet from Logan Paul written all over it. Yeah, there you go. That's it. Oh, that's that. Yeah, it's okay. Yeah. I think it'd be a picture of me like lying on a bed around all my prime,

empty prime bottles. You could Instagram it. That would that's all you need to make in Instagram. He would be definitely Instagram that. Yeah. Yeah. And then I've got two boring opinion ones and I don't know whether to read them out, but it's just like, this is what would have happened on Twitter. I'd have put them out there. Okay.

Spare me this one of the bullshit. The greatest three world cups end of that was after the death of ballet I've been able to get to the great man. There you go. Okay. Yeah and um That's like a pie. You can Unpopular opinion banshees of i is a less good calvary and Martin McDonough is a less good John Michael. Ooh. Heading into Oscar season with a bit of controversy.

Yeah, he is. I have not seen Calvary. I don't know. It's very good. Is that a current film? Or is that an old film? Did it about a few years back? Ten years ago.

A few years, I've not seen it. I'm good. But. And then this is from today. If I'm Emily Evis, if I'm Emily Evis, I'm bunging chat GPT on at the park stage for a laugh hashtag Glaston. And again, that's that's that's lost me that one. Who's that GBT? So that's an AI generating thing. You can type in random prompts and it'll... So it's been the news today because Nick Cave's been criticising a song that's been written by chat GPT as a cave song.

And so the argument is between kind of human creativity and AI. Right. Because let me tell you, once those computers start to podcast, we're in trouble, y'all. Weease in trouble, baby. Once those computers get there, get their grubby little trotters on our pig idea. You can kiss third nomination, goodbye. It's just not happening. And then I mean, like the final one that again is no good, but I was reading about a crossover episode where the makers of

Frazier were also doing their sitcom Wings based in None Tucket. And they had Frazier. The episode that went out that night of Cheers had Frazier say, I'm off to Nantucket on a plane. No. And then he left the pub and then later on in the Wings episode Frazier landed in Nantucket and he's in the Wings episode. Oh, I love this. I love that kind of stuff.

And I just wrote, I could not love this more in capitals. Oh, there we go. That's great. Yeah. So where are you, can I can I just ask what are you where are you writing these you write these with with a pen and paper? No, I'm writing them in my notes. Right in your so it's the same effect of having It's the same effect of having the tweet because you're typing into the phone. I need yeah, exactly. So it's it's scratching that itch You know that there's some good stuff in there, man because you're typing into the phone. I need, yeah, exactly. So it's scratching at it. You know, there's some good stuff in there, man. But have you thought about maybe taking it

to a different like, like, have you? I'm on true social at the moment, and I'm doing great guns over there on true social. So maybe you could join me. Yes, that's trumps, that's that's Trump's own social media thing. Some of the chat's a little fruity and bracing. They have slightly different opinions on PLA, but, I can tell you, honestly,

that kind of stuff will be a breath of fresh air over there. Caps locks. They love the caps lock. Thepellings. They love it. They love a caps lock. The one cut and off Joe DiMaggio, I don't know how that's going to play, but it's still there. It's definitely worth the try. I thought that was a really strong first outing for him.

Yeah, lovely. And again, if they don't want to get in touch, we've got national treasures now. We've also got a Parry Tom tweetety, is that what it's called? Pari Tom Tweety, uh Pari Tom Tweety or uh or national treasures do get in touch Papis Flat Share at gmail.com. You can just be a like, can be a re-tweet, it can be a reply. Any of those things, yeah, or do a Patreon. Well, you know what, man, it's strong to be back. It feels great. Yes, lovely to be back.

Lovely to be back. Lovely to be back. My new trainers are on our way to the episode. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, they look nice. That was walking. That's a real treat for the $10 Patrons. You know, if you want to see them in the flesh, you can have to come to one of our live shows. That's one of our live shows. Oh, by the way, I can announce, I can announce exclusively

for the patrons who are next to live shows. Who can say exciting about these? You know what, this is a real treat for people. So we've got two, two back to back as we've been doing. We've got Monday, the 27th of February and Tuesday, the 28th of February were at the Phoenix in Cavendish Square, we're back there and we have two amazing shows. The first show is going to be Amy Annette and James A. Castor. The second show is going to be Catherine Boehart and Harry Hill. You want to get along to those. If ever there is a reason to do the dubbler, we will obviously will stick all the details. By the time, yeah, I've made the page for it, but I'll stick all the details and the

show notes for this on the page. If only for the return of the trusty hog beef. Do you know what I mean? It's a good point. Yeah. Yeah. That trusty hog beef. Do you know what I mean? It's a good point. Yeah. Yeah. That trusty hog beef that we'd never really poured in the petrol on.

Of course you got to go over the hogs. They're fantastic. Yeah, that'd be very exciting. So we got we got we got Catherine Harry and James and Amy. It's going to be very, very fun. Hogs versus swines. Hogs versus like, yes. The hogs versus swines. Fantastics vs. Swines. Yes! The Hogs vs. Swines. Fantastic.

What's the jaw? Feed the fish. Need the goddamn pigs. Fill the trough. Right. Harry, wrap us up, man. Well, cheers, everyone. The dice. LAUGHTER Can I have a little while?

It's been a while. Oh, have a look. Can you say that? Can you look at it? Yeah, do we know who gets it this time? Oh, yes. New cocks, you take the box, how did you do it? There's some cocks rocks. I don't know. I don't know. I'm gonna put it in the whole episode.

Well, can I just put an idea into your head? Maybe that could be your version of a retweet. You're in Jiren Papi top meet you. Yeah. Or you've squeezed it. Can I just put an idea into your head? Maybe that could be your version of a retweet. You're in Papi top meet you. Yeah. Or you've squeezed it in somewhere else. Yeah. Have you got a jingle that John could be? My version of a mute.

Is there a way of doing that? A mute person? Lock and report is there a list? See list of this. See list of this please. Tonight's episode was produced by Eva Corsham. Corsham team. Cheers everyone!

Bye! Bye! I'm like a chimp in the afternoon. I am a chimp in the morning. What's that over there? It's a piece of truth. So there you go. That was a flat-share pop-roamed. That was indeed. And if you enjoyed the sound of that,

the taste of that, the flavour of that, then get along to our Patreon.com forward slash Pappy's Flakshare. But if you don't fancy any of that, that's fine because we're gonna be back for free in Eureka Niles on the 7th of February with a brilliant flat share slam down, which was us and the birthday girls.

Really excited about. Oh yeah, that was great fun. Really excited about putting that one out, really excited. You know what as well? We also guested on their podcast. It's all referenced in the episode, but do go and listen to Birthday Girls House Party and listen to our episode of that because we had a really, really good time.

They're so pretty. It's a fruity one, my friends. Of course, don't forget, 27th, 28th of February February we will be at the Phoenix Cavendish Square with spiritual hamster, our spiritual home James A. Castor, Amy Annette, Catherine Bohard and Harry Hill and of course the three of us producer Gwynne and producer Emma so get along, get your tickets, get them now and we will see you there. This episode was produced by Emma Corsham. Corsham team, cheers everyone! Bye! This episode was produced by Emma Corsham. Corsham Team!

Cheers everyone! Bye!