Pappy's Flatshare - House Meeting (A Real 32er) S10E32

Episode Date: August 10, 2020

Matthew, Ben and Tom slide into your ear canal for a catch-up. We're all recording too much, time to get strangers involved?Pappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman plotting her course to freedom at a lot for... It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Poor things. It's like theaters, December 15th.

Greetings, listener dear. I'm Tom, and I'm here to deliver some hot breaking news about the recording of this week's flat share slam down. For those of you that don't know, we're going to be doing a live recording via Zoom on the internet tomorrow night. That's Wednesday, August the 12th. And I guess we had previously announced we're going to be Joe Wilkinson and Sindov. Well, Joe Wilkinson has had to drop out, I'm afraid.

So I'm here to announce a very exciting replacement. Our guest will now be David Odochety, the international star. So we've got a brilliant lineup, David Odochety and the marvelous Sindov. So if you wanna get tickets for that, it's gonna be on Wednesday, August 12th, kicking off at 8pm and the tickets for that are at Event Bright and to find them,

I mean just Google Event Bright and that's Event Bright, bri.t.e.co.uk, Papi's Flatshare and you'll find it. It's up there with, saying with Joe Wilkinson and Cindy Vee, but that will now be with David O Dockety and Cindy Vee, one of our firm favourites. Tickets are £5 or free if you work for the NHS. So come along and join us tomorrow night at 8pm for an evening of absolute fun. Cheers everyone. Bye! Greetings, listener dear. I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I am Matthew and welcome to an exciting episode of Happy House Meeting. Sorry, we are. Yes. It's all right, no, no. You know what? It's always good to get a little bit of a of a cypress hill style hype man going on underneath. I should have just, you know what, the fault is mine,

I should have rolled with it, I should have gone with it, because it's lovely to have that, in fact, we'll try it again, and I'll accept you as the weird guy from the automatic. Okay, welcome to another exciting episode of Happy Splash Air House Meeting. Happy Flagshare House Meeting. Happy Flagshare House Meeting. I'd love that job.

Yeah, it's not a Flagshare stamina, we should just say. If you are going to be a hype man, it may be better that you bring a clipboard on with the notes. Just to make sure you don't act any hype. He needs to be the hype man, I'll be the note man. And you can be the talking man, I'll be the note man. And you can be the talking man. I'll take that. So, welcome to the episode.

I should say that house meeting, I've never experienced anything like the response we got for the last house meeting. We had so many emails, if you want to get in touch by the way, papysflatshareatgmail.com, had so many emails, so many tweets about it, I thought we should pick through them because we, you know, we don't do a mail bag very often on the podcast. So before we get into the episode proper, how do you feel about doing a bit of a mail bag? Great, let's do it.

This is about the birthday proposal. The birthday, yeah, the birthday thing, really put the cat amongst the pigeons. You know what? Split down the middle, some people loved it, some people didn't like it, but it certainly prompted a lot of discussion. Great. So, let's start with this first one. Do you want to read that Tom? Yes. So, memorable cakes and scary not scary things from MinerviapapiFlucheroGmail.com.

Tom Benner Matthew, this is simply an add to your conversation on the house meeting about memorable cakes and things that weren't scary but you were scared of as a child. Number one, my brother had a cake for his fifth birthday which was a chocolate ring with jelly snakes in the middle like a snake pit. Wow. That's so good. That seems too scary. All of my brother's friends got a slice of this cake and there was none left for him. Oh! During lockdown it was his 24th birthday

and he asked for it to be made again to the russet rungs could be made right and he could have his cake and eat it too. That's adorable. Lovely. Can I just ask Tom, 5th birthday and 24th birthday, where do you stand? 5th birthday allowed, 24th birthday not allowed.

Number two, I used to be fucking terrified of the clangers. Why did they make that noise? What were they? Why were they made from wool? How were they so small and space so big? These were the questions I had But I watched the clangers again the other day after telling my boyfriend they scary they were and they aren't big clang a fan Anyway, that was all best wishes listening sincerely Minna, thank you very much Thanks, where that was great. Thank you Minna. This is from Jill, now there's some questions here.

Great, bring them on. So Jill says, she tweeted, I said, Papi's tweet, if you want to get in touch, that's where to find us on Twitter. How big would the gift bags be? Now remember you said that everyone gets eight gift bags a year in this new system. Something like, five, was it five?

Five, five, yeah. Maybe it's five. OK, so how big would the gift bags be? Some people get cars for their birthdays. Even a casey football isn't very gift-bag-friendly. I disagree with the birthday plan. My best one was 19, and 20-21 were awful. Also, it puts a lot of pressure on allowed birthdays.

Well, let's, before we allow it, let's get to the, how big of the gift bags. What are you thinking? Well, I think it's quite obvious that the gift bags are kind of a conceptual gift bag. So, for example, you could have, we could have like eight bows, for example. And as long as you, the bow is the, make what makes it a gift. Sure, a bow with a little sort of, like, what would you call it, a little rosette type thing on the top?

Like if the gift bag on the car, and then you give it, and it's like, oh, yeah, there's the gift bag. To be fair, if someone bought me a car, I wouldn't be going, fuck no, you haven't gift wrapped it. I don't know if I can do that so much. The course is dying, I need a replacement, you know, so I'd be delighted, gift bag or no.

And what do you think about Jill saying that she disagrees with the plan? 19 was 19 was her best birthday. 2021 were awful. Look, once, once the systems in place, people will learn to love it. Don't worry about it. Like the thing is once the system is in place, people wouldn't know about their 19th birthday being good enough, because it wouldn't be a thing. It'd be the new norm.

It's a good point. It would, it's, you know, sure, there's going to be a little bit of dissent in the people who still remember the old system. But gradually, those people are going to, you know, sure, there's gonna be a little bit of descent in the people who still remember the old system, but gradually those people are gonna, you know, they're gonna die away. Exactly. New people are gonna be born. Brave new world. Brave new world, exactly, yeah, which,

sure was a good thing. Clarkie, do you wanna do this one from MasterChef? Certainly, MasterChef. We love this guy via Papiastatio. Yeah, what a great guy. His name is Matthew, he's on MasterChef once, and he calls guy via Papi. Yeah, what a great guy. His name is Matthew, he's on Master Chef once, and he calls himself Master Chef. Absolutely.

Please grant me my 50th birthday this November, as I have the one and only alternate book to DJ at my party. I don't know. Do you remember alternate? Oh my God, they were like a sort of early novelty raised band. A perfect band for your birthday party

because they performed in masks. They had the kind of mask she'd wear for doing a bit of painting or a bit of DIY. That kind of thing. And also with hoodies and masks on. Here's the thing I want to say to Master Chef though. If you've got alternate performing at your party, how do you know it's them?

Clarky and I could put on Mask and Hoodies, Sharp put on an alternate record. They're indeed DJs, isn't that they've played instruments, put on an alternate record, and I could say I was in alternate. That's no kind of life. Alternating personators. Alternate seven. An alternate tribute band. If you were in that you'd pick Daff Punk, wouldn't you?

Yeah. You would go. No, no, no, no, no. I'm going to go for alternate. And in fact, actually, if it turns out that you can't have your 50th birthday party, your 51st birthday party match, me and Clark, you're going to show up. Don't you worry about that.

Oh, turn seven, you're getting them. 50th Granted, of course, it's granted. It was always going to be. Yes. You're not going gonna be set the big half century And Jane via Twitter says I want to know what the consequences of a list of birthday parties would be the death penalty perhaps I mean the old shakes be it exactly born and died on your birthday The old Billy shaker There wouldn't be a list of birthday parties because there's wouldn't be, there wouldn't be.

Like I can say, it'd be so normal for there not to be a four-sinked birthday party. You'd have your thirteenth birthday party, and in your head your brain would go, well, I can't wait for my next birthday party. I'll be 15 years old. It's just the way the brain will re-engineer sign abses. That's the way we'll think.

And if you break the rules, we'll kill you. The old Willie Shaker! So, yes, well, thank you for getting in touch, everyone. If you liked hearing that mailbag by the way, listener dear, then we do correspondence all the time on our flat share lockdown podcast. That's how we know Matt's the share. Exactly loads of regular emailing pals that we are to and fro with and it's great fun

Yes So if you want to get involved then get along to the Patreon and for just five dollars a month You get a whole load of bonus material flat share lockdowns And you get to be part of the patron community Yeah, I think there's I think there's nearly a hundred Bonus bits of content. I was looking at it Oh, there's a lot of bonus bits of content. I was looking at the other days. There's a lot of stuff out there.

And you get it immediately. It goes straight into an RSS feed. You can listen to it immediately. The day you join up, you get every single piece of content that we've made thus far. So $5 and above, get on the Patreon, patreon.com, forward slash Pappy's Flat Share, and enjoy it.

Well, speaking of recording too many things, that is exactly. That's okay, yeah, yeah, go on. That is exactly how we started today's house meeting. I've had a thought. I've got an issue. I've got a question I want to ask you. I want to talk. I want a chat. Okay, let's sit down and chew the fat.

Has meeting,. Has meeting. What temperature should we set the heat? Has meeting. Why on earth am I always waiting? Has meeting. Who went my bed while I was sleeping? Has meeting. What's the point?

Does life have a meeting? Has meeting. Right, I'm recording. I'm also recording. How is not yet recording? the point does life have a meaning? Right, I'm recording. I'm also recording. Harry's not yet recording. Pretty soon he will be recording. Okay, I'm recording.

And we recording too much. You know what I mean? You know what I mean by that? What do you mean by that? Like as a people we started recording everything. Oh, so you're not just talking puppies, you're talking the world. Absolutely. Well, you know, the number of like photographs and videos we take on our phone,

compared to the number of photographs and videos we then look at on our phone. I think we're sort of slightly, we are slightly spoilt for choice, aren't we? And that, you know, back in the, I mean, I hate the sound like an old fart. Oh, here he comes. Back in the good old. Oh, here he comes, guy.

Grandad Polaroid. That river. Old Grandad Polaroid coming over the hill. With his eight track and his beta max. Why, the camera was the beta max and not go on a picnic? Sorry, no, I don't know. Yes. No, you actually know what? In this instance, you're right to apologize. Because the camera was a beta max and I'll go on a picnic makes zero to zero sets.

Apology accepted math. sets. Apology accepted Matthew Apology except yeah You're very welcome No, I got I think got but uh You know when you you could go on holiday with your little role of film and you would take what would be 24 26 Per film maybe you take 20 or four roles of film 24 and 32 That 24 I thought yeah, I thought it's 24 and it was 24 and there was the bigger one if you wanted to. If you were feeling flush, if you were going to the Imperial War Museum with the school. Oh, absolutely. That's a 32 role, if ever I heard it.

Because you want to take a couple on the coach. You've got to take a few on the coach. In fact, the ones you're going to hang on to, the ones on the coach. You know, the mannequin dressed as a Tommy, that's not what we're after. We want the one of, you know, like, you want Chris and his new game. But you come back, that's it. So I'm pretending to fart on somebody's sleeping. Brilliant. That's the good math. That's what you're getting off the coach. You've burnt at least eight of those fighters. You reckon you're eight down, getting off the coach. at least eight of those fighters. You reckon you're eight down, getting off the coach.

If it's been a strong coach journey, you've burnt 32. I've had a few 32s. It's all coach. I genuinely have. Back in the, I've had some of my happiest memories on coaches. I've had a few 32s. I would often get off a coach and say, that was a 32er, whether or not I had a roller film on me.

Yeah. Yeah. That was an absolute 30er. So at some point, did you invent Megabus? Was that you, Crop? I did, yeah. I wanted every Megabus to be called the number 32. But quite rightly, they said that's confusing. The reason buses have different numbers is so you know where they're going.

But I said no. Every bus is 32 because we know it's a 32er.'s a 32. It's a 32, guys. We've got a 32 on our hands here. And then like, and then obviously you're back from the trip, then it goes in, then you're sending it off to Ponte print or whatever it is. And then there is two weeks, two weeks for the photos to come back. Did Lidlidlid it, did it, did it, anticipation, two weeks of, two weeks of glorious anticipation. Also as well, do you remember at the, because the reason I said 24 or 26 is, do you remember often at the end, there'd be a couple of ghost photos. Yes. Yeah. Where? It would be. It would be, we don't know what this is.

They put this to go. I know what it is, mate. It's a close-up of Tim's face. On the coach, I tried to bring it up. But it would all be with the close-up of Tim's face, merged with a photo of a bench that you've got no regulation of taking. Yeah. We've got two photos merged together with a big red sort of mist down the middle. And sat on the bench, a Tommy, having his final cigarette before going over the top. One of our brave boys Did that have bread did that benches and the trenches that was the phrase wasn't it?

They All viral in that song God rest their sorry Yeah, so like basically at some point we have tipped over from the amount of photos we're taking to the amount of photos we're looking at. We're now taking more than we look at. Our attention span is getting shorter, but for some reason, we're cataloging even. What you'd say now, you wouldn't even have a good coach, Jenny, if you had a good moment, you'd be like, that's a burst.

Yeah. That's a burst, that's so. That last half second was so enjoyable, is a proper burst. That sounds quite cool, actually. I like that phrase quite a lot. Oh my God, lunch was an absolute burst. It makes it seem like you've eaten too much lunch. Oh yeah, okay, maybe we're still clear of lunch.

Oh, that was, that, that co-strip was a burst. I don't mind that. Yeah that's alright actually it's alright. But yeah I mean like not even photos you just think like stuff, recordings, everything like there's too much. Are you saying Tom if I'm correct are you saying that we're the stars of CCTV? Is that what you're trying to say? Is that you? Is that? Are you are you are you can't you're not hard for? I always always could you're not hard for. I just think maybe like wouldn't it be better if we were just um no actually that doesn't work because I still have to think of it. No but please finish the thought because it's always good. These this is we love your best thoughts on the ones that they want. I was trying to, yeah, I, I, I, I, all these thoughts.

I was trying to strip back, I was trying to take the recording element out of a podcast and then I realized I'd just be describing a live performance, which, yeah, or just a conversation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just the three of us sat in a room chatting to each other and again, you know, we don't want that. The public one, it's never of us sat in a room chatting to each other and again, you know, we don't want that. The public one, it's never a 32. It's really even a burst. But yeah, why have you got to...

I mean, I agree with you, we're recording a lot, but there's got to be pluses to it. There's got to be positives to be taken from the fact that we're cataloging everything. I think it might give everyone an inflated sense of importance to the things that they're, I think because they're recording it, they think it, I will, at least that's preserved for posterity and you're like, go, well, it shouldn't be.

I'll let you know, like, like, say, put it, put it, put it, if everyone was hired to be someone else's editor on their content, fuck me, you get rid of a lot of stuff, wouldn't you? Yeah. So about caution team, is everyone's editor? Well, you know, everyone has a caution.

Everyone is, no, everyone has to do a shift with someone else, you get, You get a lot of a stranger. And then at the end of every day, you have to spend an hour editing their content. So at the end of the day, as a result, you know when you're doing your photos, then you're like, do you know what? I had a tough day yesterday.

Maybe I'll go easy on my edits. Yeah, we all have a content editor and we all put in the half an hour or something in the evening where we all edit each other's content. And then there's a story, isn't there? There's a film in it of the person who falls in love with the person they're editing. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha don't have changed someone. You just want to say, I don't need to see a picture of your feet.

You can take it. That's changing. So what you say, you can take the photo, but just don't show it to anyone else. You can take the photo, I'm deleting it mate. What do you mean by that? What do you mean by that? But if you're gone.

But yeah, like, yeah. So you see that you've seen of that burst ago. You don't want them to change, but that's what we do anyway That's why we favor photos you go through your photos You've just said I've taken 14 of you know say for example your lunch. This is the one I like this is the one I like you you're sort of editing it yourself anyway, aren't you? Yeah, but not enough mate crossbeaut back then you said that's changing Are people not take it is that a thing Are people not taking photos of their feed anymore?

No, I was saying to Tom, he said, we're not changing a person, but I was saying editing a person is changing. Oh, I thought you'd like read an article or it was like, no one's taking photos of their feed anymore. No, I've not read an article since about 2013. Too busy taking pictures.

I've got some photos and some great articles actually. I'll tell you, this is bad news for me, but I get all of my information from this podcast. And that's not a good thing. Yeah, that's bad. All of my, everything I've learnt, I've been taught by either the two of you or myself. I think you've got some brave new ideas your way, mate. I think that's what this podcast gives. We're like the kind of dominant comings kind of,

we need to be bold and change the way we do things. I feel like comings would get, I think comings gets us. Is that a good thing? Is that a good, Lisa? Is that what we're looking for here? This is the podcast that, if dominant comings were a podcast, that would be our podcast. Beautiful. That's what you're saying. The brave news. I don't know how much I'm into that. podcast that if Dominic Cummings were a podcast, that would be our beautiful.

That was the brave news. I don't know. I don't know how much I'm into that. We're in the gray bean. He hats. We're chucking out all the rules. We're here to make a difference. Baby, no more birthdays.

Sure. That's a thing now. Yeah. I'm going to be editing your content every night. That's a thing now. It's like, yeah, this is it. People won't like it at first, but honestly, it's necessary.

But I did the future, the lardator. In the future, they won't be allowed to criticize it. Otherwise, they'll be murdered by the police. No, we use the phrase, we use the phrase editing. They'll be edited by the police. They'll be edited out. We're editing you out of life. There's a half an hour every night

where the police are coming at it. Some people line. There's a half an hour every night where the police are coming at it. Some people, no, it doesn't get that far. I'm just talking about restrictingly matter stuff. You know, we've got a light in the load of the cloud, baby. Can I? Yeah, because the cloud is, oh, my cloud is bit to bursting. My cloud is for a long time. Exactly. I get an email almost every day saying, you know, you're clouds full. I'm like, yeah, mate. I know. I pay money to it. I pay money for that. Do you? Yeah. And I don't know why. It was just one day, like one day I was, I was sick and tired of all the messages and I thought, well, if I just chuck a bit of money in it,

I don't know how much it is. It might be 79p, something like that. It's not a lot a month and my cloud is bigger. I don't ever look at the cloud, I don't know what, here's the thing as well, I don't know what I'm putting on my cloud, but it's so big, but not only am I putting stuff on it, I'm paying money to put stuff on it. Exactly. I'm as well hire like a big yellow storage thing, just somewhere out there.

No, but you are there. And just chuck, yeah, that's what you are doing. And what wants in a while, some rando comes, picks up from my house and chuck it in the big yellow storage, and I don't think about it anymore. That's what it, that's not about it. Yeah, that's a better idea than the idea of paying 79p a month to have a big cloud.

But that's what it is, isn't it, the cloud is, like it is literally, there is a building with the data in it, like's not it is not it is on a cloud it is a it's a building that gets hot there's a and the cloud guys the cloud is not cloud it's a building that gets hot that's what you mean it's a classic dominant coming spin there. It's not even spin, it's hard truth. The spin, the spin is that they call it the cloud. It's not a cloud. It's a building that gets hot,

and I have to call that building down because it's so hot. How do you call it down? We're fucking fossil fuels, my friend. What? They call it down with colds. Look, they call it down. Look, all I'm saying is, but it's true. It's true. It is. It is right. No, no, I don't, I don't doubt it. I just don't know what any of the words in the sentence mean.

The clad- What do you mean it gets hot? What do you mean? What do you mean? The gets hot. They have to call it down, calling it down, costs a lot of energy, but they're burning energy to call down our data. The clad cloud isn't a fucking cloud. It's a building that gets hot baby I never I never thought it was a cloud, but I never sort of I thought it sort of existed as a digital space I didn't know it existed as a physical physical physical place exactly what you do. Where is it? There's a few they're all over the shop Big data are buying up land, baby. I'm just like I'm saying what we need is we need this kind of round robin. It'd be quite exciting I think

and maybe you get a new person every month so that you don't get become a to attached or be too critical. What about though, isn't it? I've got a bit of a breach of your sort of privacy that somebody comes round, sort of a government issue person comes round and goes through your phone. Interesting, you know, like... You're interested that you think we still have privacy, my friend. Have you not been... Have you not been disappearing down YouTube wormholes this whole lockdown? Because, honestly,

I've got a kid. Oh, you baby! The ultimate world. Yeah, I've watched a lot of something special where we're all friends starring Justin and Mr. Tumble. Oh, what a thing. Apart from that, no, I've not been disappearing down any YouTube world. No, I mean, he does, ain't joking.

But privacy is a concept, my friend. Doesn't, doesn't, yeah, but do you know what? I think we're fine with a nebulous cloud looking at all of our stuff, even if it is a hot building and not a real cloud. What we're less happy with is Derek from down the road, knocking on our door and going, hello, let's have a look how many photos you took

if you're a kid today. Do you really need to take 17 photos of them, you know, attempt to eat a biscuit? I don't think so. You know, you wrote 16 of them, oh, you don't know who it is. What do you mean I won't know? So they don't won't know who it is. That's what you mean I won't know it. So they don't come in physically into the house.

They appear digitally and just suddenly things are pinging away on your phone. They are their own hot building. Things get pinged to them for them to edit. Right. Okay. So they can they come into your house and start smashing up your photo frames with a sled jam. I'm not saying photos everywhere. I'm talking about that. You hand them your phone and you sit down together. Have them where I imagined it.

Hand them your phone. Grandad, you've got to get into the present man. Hang on, you can't get my head around his face. You can't get my head around his face. You don't give them a photo album full of your photos and they'll put it on the fire. No, look, every night you log on and you go, right, you've got Zaynab in Chile for one month.

This is what Zaynab's recorded today. Okay, he's taken 40 photos, he's done a podcast and I'll be like, right, well, the podcast is going. Let's have a look, keep that photo, keep that photo. Okay, you're not into 10 photos now. All right, off you go, Zane up. That took me off for an hour. Zane up doesn't know who I am.

He goes, and you're doing it in like on a little chat window, like if you log onto like Curries, you know, and you're trying to, you know, is there any interaction between you and Zane up? So Zane up just comes on. It's dead to me. I literally just look at his content and edit it. Bar right.

And, and Zane up has no right of replied it's in a car say oh by the way Unfortunately you threw away my birthday difficult What I sort of need you recording your birthday Zanab What a record if you're birth. It's quite it's quite useful thing down. Just don't stick you've been bored. Don't stick online You can have it in a box. I'm not going through his possessions But you are though, aren't you these are our possessions digital You've been bored. Don't stick on line. You can have it in a box. I'm not going through his possessions. But you are, don't you? These are oppositions.

Digital possessions. Wake up, grandad, in the digital world. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! The slippers on the other foot. The slippers are on your feet.

I've seen the other cheek. Ah! He's got his birth certificate, a box under his bed, little pink box that he gets from IKEA. Lovely. So, suddenly I feel relaxed again. Little clue to where I keep my birth certificate and passport though. Little pink box under the bed.

Little pink box under the bed. Has me to be a big thing. I live in a house made of iron sheets. House meeting! Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman planting her course to free them at in-luck form.

It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things. It's like theaters December 15th. A cast powers the world's best podcast. Here's a show that we recommend. Hi, I'm David Boris, Canadian historian and host of Curious Canadian History,

a bi-weekly deep dive into the wild, worrisome, and wonderful world of Canadian history. This season we've covered not season Alberta, the Palestinian partition, and even the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. We also have eight seasons worth of back episodes all right there for your listening pleasure. Check out new episodes of curious Canadian history every other Tuesday wherever you get your podcast.

Hey Cast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Hey Cast.com So the idea is that you don't have any, there's absolutely no right of reply. You just look at your phone and go, I could have swore I took more photos. I could have swore I, you know, what about, what, what, and how do we know that, that, you know, you and Zaynab aren't using each other's data for nefarious. The system takes care of that. Oh, the system takes care of that.

You are talking about it. You've got to trust us. Let me re care of that. Oh, the system takes care of that. You are jobless. You've got to trust the system. Let me rephrase that. My system takes care of that. So say, for example, I've had a fruity day. I've had a fruity day when Harry logs on. It's 2014. Crosby's had a fruity day.

I've had a fruity day. It's back in the old days. I've had a fruity day. I've had a fruity day exactly it's back in the old days I've had a fruity day I've had the house to myself I've taken 30 to 40 photographs of my right right? Because because why not? Because it's 2014. I've got no nothing you would call a job I've got I've got I'm I'm I'm all the cash port time rich and I've got a and it's a hell of a tush He's tuck us in 2014 oh yeah, yeah, you could crack walnuts on it It's worth scrolling back through my Instagram. I'd say guys. It's really worth scrolling back take a trip down memory lane So before the same I've got his hands on it. Yeah, this is it

So I just say I say I've got his hands on it. Yeah, this is it. So I just say, I've taken a few, I've taken a few, I've got a diagonal saw. Yeah, do you not know that? How is this the, honestly, for me taking a shit is like Tetris. That's why you take so long in the bathroom. So that's why we're recording late today. You have to sit next to the toilet bottle. Is that why you come out dressed as a cosack?

Sorry, that doesn't make any sense. It may have since for me to enjoy it. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey would, you know, hang on. That would be the end of me. Surely my knees are sideways. Surely the dancing is a very small part of being a Kossak. Ah, it's the whole thing, surely. Is that slow, Kossak? You know what, I wasn't thinking beyond, I wasn't thinking beyond the dancing myself. I was actually. So, that question was, can you Kossak dance?

How do you think you do as you were forced to Kossak dance professionally? Because the Kossak's weren't a dance tree. What's up? It wasn't their thing. It wasn't the thing. Like every single time I? What's up from there, think? It was something like that. Like I said, every single hour learned something new from this podcast.

It's amazing. It's absolutely amazing. The winners of Russia's Got Talent. Russia's Got Talent is fairly samey, because everyone is a Cosack dancer. Every single person coming out. How can you put it in every year, put it in wins? How can you put a fresh twist on the Cosack dance today? I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's Everyone's just doing the cos act dance. So it's like someone's doing this and having a routine. Someone's

to go out and perform the talk, but they're just constant, constant cos act legs going. I think, I think there's a fine line between really funny and the casualty racist. I think we've just crossed it, but I, you know what? I mean, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the hell out of it. Yeah. Surely the Russians are still fair game aren't they? I think Some of them are I think it's I think it's it's a funny dance, isn't it So hang on is it purpose isn't it isn't it a bit mad right surely the the main thing about being a Kossak is being a Brutal warrior right isn't it like weren't the Kossaks fucking, I think so. So is it weird that like all we think of them now? It'll be like in 200 years

time being like, oh can you be in that seat? Can you do the walk? And it's like we just reduce them to a walk. And it's like the Kossaks now in our popular culture just like, oh the crazy dance. And it's like, they were a very happy they were slightly baggy trousers and they can do like little sort of Crouchy squatty kicks or am I thinking of madness They were mad at the school fairs is they didn't wear furry hats but um still what a band Wait now the cossacks who are the ones who are halfway up a crane playing the saxophone? Is that madness?

That madness or the Cossacks? Yeah, fairy-dane just do that dancing half-hour. Absolutely. That's how they go up there. You know, it's in the man's Cossacks halfway up a crane. You haven't lived. Oh, well, I've not too did to where a Russian has got talent, unfortunately. Genghis Sugs. Well, I've not too did to where Russia's got talent, unfortunately.

Genghis Sugs. Anyone? Anyone? Anyone? Well, you know, if you are, guys, if anyone listening is called Genghis Sugs, do you get in touch? The usual email, happyflatshareatgmail.com. I'd love to receive an email from Genghis Sucks, do you get in touch? The usual email, happyslatshareatgmail.com. I'd love to receive an email from Genghis Sucks. I mean, we are right at that stage

where we're trying to pick names for the baby before they arrive and, you know, it's going on the list. Genghis Sucks is at the table. Genghis Sucks is at the table. It's at the table. It's at the table. Have you asked anyone about, I mean, I'm not asking you of course now to give,

I've been, have you taken it to a jury larger than your partner in yourself? Have you? Initially and then you can't do that. It's a fucking nightmare. It's an absolute nightmare. Yeah, that's it. Yeah.

My mother-a-law, God bless her. I love her to pieces, but would always have these bizarre, like every time you'd say, oh, we're thinking of this name, she would have a bizarre, like, television show from the 1940s that Owen remembers, and think that will be a reason she'd get bullied. So it would be like, oh, you know, so say, for example, we say, and oh, we're thinking of calling it, I don't know, Nancy. She'd be like, oh, no, they'll call her Nancy, Nancy, the Ali cat. And you're like, no one's calling anyone that. Don't ask the thing.

Also, I mean, pretty cool nickname. Oh, my name is Dickhead. Dickhead, Dickhead, Dickhead. Which I mean was. I got a diet. Yeah, crossbees the diagonal alley cat. Absolutely. Have you ever seen the artist going to hire us?

I've got a diagonal loss. We'll never tell the secret of Paris. Yeah, that's the one. It's the one thing we're holding back from listener dear until a 300th episode. It's a bit like what's inside the Marcellus Wallis's suitcase in part. What when you part my ass cheeks,

a light shine, that of it. Absolutely, yeah. The sun does shine out of it apparently. I certainly think so. Yeah, according to your fake news. Have you, so have you got names then? If you've got names, you think you're off. Oh, I've got names, mate.

I've got names. You have to, there's a lot, you have to factor in, isn't there? You have to factor in like initials, rhymes, you know, the scanning of like, you know, what it sounds like with your partner. You know? Yeah, that's a good point. So, for example, my partner's name's Jane, so Freddie, Tom Jane and Freddie, you can't, you can't do it. Because it's too close.

Freddie, very nice name. You could, though. I mean, I would say that's, come on. Raymo's not been on the television since the late 80s, early 90s. Come on, you've got, you can get some cool dude friends. I called him Rob, then it's Rod Jane and Pary. I can either way, I don't know. I love it. But I tell you what, Rod Jane and Freddie, that's a reference that will certainly slice through the demographic of our listeners.

Oh, the age lines. People didn't turn off during the disposable camera chat. If you don't get Rod and Freddie then welcome millennials. Sorry. Please don't apologize. Now the thing about Roger and Freddie is, what was their thing? What was their thing? Where did they come from?

Where did they come from? Where did they come from? Cotton eyes. Cotton eyes. My nickname. But I'll never tell. Oh, we've seen a light shides out. Just plug it with a piece of cotton wool. That's what it is.

Which gets very hot and has to be cool down using fossil fuels. It's a hot house. It's a hot house. It's a hot house flower down there. You two have actually seen right into my household, haven't you, but I think we've covered that many a time. I wish you had covered it many times.

That's very much the problem. Very much the problem. Yeah, what was the deal with Roger and Freddie? For listener dear, in fact, I'll be interested to hear this. Clarkie, for a listener dear who doesn't know of Roger and Freddie, pitch them Roger and Freddie in a sentence or two. Hey, I don't even, are they from... ...Rainbow.

He's a young... They are. Don't be playing young to try and get your casting age down. So, I'll be pulling this shit. Oh, I don't know. What is Ghostbusters, first, as a bad example? Oh, yeah. LAUGHTER I don't remember. 2017.

Yes, yes, yes. Come on, Clarky. No, I don't know. I genuinely don't know enough about that. Roger and Frayne. They were like the neighbours in Rainbow, or the mates from Rain the Place. Yeah, they wore sort of...

I really remember the puppets. They had wastecoats. Subitible puppets. What? No, no they're no puppets on radar. There was a zippy George Bungle Jeffrey and then I don't know they had some puppets made to be popped around in episode I never saw but they were like Bungle was a bear he wasn't a fucking puppy. It was a bear He was a bear and so they being George were like aliens Well, so he was so he was a zippy and George was a hippo. Yeah puppets I'm sorry Harry's change anyway, I'm ruined child Roger Freddie were they the original thrupple oh

Do you think they were in a polyamorous relationship? Well I certainly had a lot of fun and they were together. They certainly had a lot of fun. You know like, you don't need to be... It sounds like polyamory, isn't it? I mean, even if you take out the same two polyamorous, all I'm saying is we have a lot of fun. Er at number 32 and they have a lot of fun. I think If you take the fruitiness out of it, they could be a fruple regardless of whether they're fruity or not Because either they're just three mates, but I think they I think they lived together. They did everything together I think it was it was further than just being mates. That's flat mates.

That's what, you know, you can have, you can have flat shares slam down maybe the original flat shares slam down. Exactly, yeah. You can try to tell me we're not a thrupple. Oh, mate. Because I'm gonna have to change my Tinder biog. Oh, my God.

It's even worse when you do modern references. It's even more upsetting. No, sorry, because it wasn't always, it wasn't always Rod J. and Freddie. Was it? It was, there was a different guy in there at one stage. Really? I think, yeah, I think Freddie came in later.

Caution, can you look up Roger and Freddie and find out? This is what? And find out who had a lot of fun. And at what point? In their, in their etymology. Corsham, you don't remember Roger and Freddie at all, do you? No, but I know that they were, yeah, there was, I think there was couples swapping.

That's all I know of them. They were people. One was married to the others and the other one they... Basically. Basically they had a lot of fun. So you're saying that Rod was married to Jane and then Jane broke up with Rod and got together with Freddie. Oh, the other way round, yeah.

That's, I think... Unbelievable! LAUGHTER They do put a lot of innuendo into those old shows. So maybe it was genuinely. Well, I know they were alluding to that. I know they used to put an innuendo for a thing called the Christmas tapes,

which was they would put rude things into the TV show and they sort of edit them altogether and make that the Christmas tape they'd watch at the Christmas party. They would film specific, they'd split, they'd film specific rude scenes. Like there's a scene of, have you seen one of those? Yeah, with Zippy peeling a banana and he goes,

one skin, a two skin, a three skin. Oh, hello, I would say a trapper. It's very, it's good stuff. And it's good to, I mean, basically, it's a job we could have had if we were around in the 70s, writing the Christmas tapes for Rainbow would have definitely been our bag. Go on, what are you gonna say?

So this is from Wikipedia, present day. In June, 2008, Rod Jane and Freddie appeared on the show 50 Ways to Leave Your TV Lover on Sky and talked about newspaper claims that they were involved in a love triangle. They explained that Rod and Jane had been married then divorced. Jane partly with Freddie sometime after after he had joined the trio,

a relationship that led to the eventual marriage in May 2006. So you know what, yeah, they've had some fun. I mean, not necessarily a thrupple, but... A close enough, they are. To use a phrase I don't love, but they are cast of cousins. They are close enough. They are close enough. They are close enough. They are close enough. They are close enough. They are close enough. They are close enough. They are close enough.

They are close enough. They are close enough. They are close enough. They are close enough. They are close enough. They are close enough. They are close enough. They are close enough.

They are close enough. They are close enough. They are close enough. They are close enough. They are close enough. They are close enough. They are close enough. They are close enough. They are close enough.

They are close enough. They are close enough. They are close enough. They are close enough. They are close enough. You said, what was that? Customs, they've danced together. I think there is something interesting in that, but if you said to someone, what do you think about COSACs, they'll go, hey, hey, hey, right? Yeah. If you said hello to somebody, they might say, hi, hi, hi, as well. Settle-outs of Roger and Freddie, they certainly would. Hi.

Carry on. If I said hello to Roger on. If I said, Roger, you're afraid they say, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm saying is like the costacks, I don't think dancing was their main thing, you know? I think being bastard on horseback was like their main thing. But I think they've had a good marketing team.

Right, it's the old joke about being dragged away by the Cossacks isn't it that's what that's what people should remember them for. What's the joke about being dragged away by the Cossacks? Isn't it that my you know my grandfather was dragged away by the Cossacks all sounds painful. You know what that joke is that? No but I'm enjoying it. There we go. Nice, nice, nice, have a bit of actual humor. See some again. Yeah, again. Once in a while on the podcast.

It's not, it could be like hearted once in a while. We're not just doing with heavy issues, like where the Roger and Freddie were swinging. Well, look, the good thing about this is, once Zayn, I've gets hold of this episode, who knows which pit will, you know, stay in. Well, maybe we should, you know, maybe to round off, we should, we should, we should pick back through it and see if there are any moments that you think. How do we try to do producer ever after job here?

No, no, no, no, because we're in fact, we're doing the refabric because we're going to, we're going to, we're going to, we're going to leave the episode long, but we're going to edit down based on, edit down mentally now so that you want listeners already heard it. Okay so I'm going to tell you now the bit I'd leave out would be the joke about. I've said it once before but it bears a repeat. I did put an impression of Kelly Jones a festival once and it was just like five minutes of me pretending to be Kelly Jones. And it was just like five minutes of me pretending to be Kelly Jones. I remember it was very fun. And then about an hour later I got off stage and a woman came and found me and said,

I'm Welsh and I found that deeply offensive and I think you should apologise. That's very interesting. Did you say, did you try and play the I'm half Welsh myself card? I would play it my Joe's I said I'm well Check the spelling on Thomas T O M O S I didn't play it as much as lick the card and stick it to my forehead And adopt a slight twang that isn't mine. And what did she say to that when you said, oh, I'm actually Welsh.

So, you know, I'm a child of the values myself. What did she, how did she respond to that? She was continued with her being offended. And I, I guess that's the nature of it, isn't it? You know, if you're offended, you're offended. It doesn't really matter, you know, it would take, I think it's, if something genuinely deeply upset you, it takes a lot for you to re-contextualise it in your mind. But, you know, there's always going to be someone.

I think I may have done that thing of apologising for offending rather than apologising for what I did, which isn't an apology. Right, the non-apology, yeah. But, yeah. But, I really was like, ah, I'm not going apologise for this, but then obviously she was offended by it, but what can you do? It's, you know, obviously, it's interesting, obviously, in this day and age of like,

offense, culture, and apologising for offending, you know, where you, but that for me was like, I remember that being like a case where it was like, well, I'm not going to apologise, but then I had offended someone. Yeah, it's tricky, isn't it? Because you've got to sort of look,

you know, you've got to look at intent. Having to be... It was in intent. It was at a festival. Well, so. And therefore, you know, you need to apologize. What happens in intent stays in it. It stays in it.

But, yeah, I guess. Yeah. Oh, it's believe you me. the stuff I've done in Tent. So I'm going to, if we can move the cloud out of a hot building into a tent, is this your way of going to be a tough? Oh, it's going to get even hotter. Is this your way of getting hotter? What are you talking about when you wake up in the morning and a tent?

You're absolutely roasting. I just thought it might be your way of getting around the editing rules. What goes in the tent stays in the tent? That's for the tent. That's for the tent. Is that what you say the tent. That's for the tent. That's for the tent. Is that what you say after you? That one's for the tent. So you said I've used to a picture of your diagonal arsehole. That one's for the tent. So you've got the cloud and the tent at the two storage places. So all of the stuff that stays on the cloud, all of

Zaynab stuff that stays on the cloud that you've not shoved in the tent. Saying ab still got access to that, does saying ab ever get access to the tent, or is it something you have to deal with just before you... Oh hang on. Is it like you're live flashing before your eyes? Well, the tent is, the tent, the stuff that isn't deleted, is that what we're saying?

Right? No, the tent, the stuff that is... Oh, the tent, the stuff that's gone. No, no, there is no tent, that's the whole point. There's like, there's either, like, there's either, it stays or it's like evaporated. It's in the ether. Yeah, but you can't get rid of, you know,

once you take a photograph on your phone, you can never delete it. You can? You once you flush your recycle bin on your laptop. Oh, no, Tom, Tom. Oh, no, Tom. Somewhere, where does it. Oh no, Tom's in there, mate. Somewhere, where does it go then? It's all still there, mate, Tom.

It gets recycled, it shows up on someone else's camera. It's become, you can be five minutes with your laptop. I'll find all that stuff you thought you'd deleted. No, because my laptop is in the pond in the garden. LAUGHTER It's in a pink box. It's in a pink box. I bought from my kea at the bottom of a pond in a tent.

Whoa. That's basically what a VPN does. Visible panty, no. Ooh, you can think quick enough. Don't worry Tom. That's for the tent. VB-NOO. VB-NOO. We're gonna think of enough. How do they make bread no

wheat in? How meaty. Wallop, there you go. What a house meeting. Love that one. Yeah, it was really fun, really enjoyable. And I'm just saving it now to the tent. Yes, saved on the tent. I'll tell'm just saved on the tent. I'll tell you what, listen dear, if you want to create memories that you will want to save to your tent, then get along to our next recording. That was a seamless link.

You've got to admit that was a seamless link. Beautiful, beautiful Tom. The only thing I thought was not seamless about it was you stopping to tell us how seamless it is. Oh yes, okay. Aside from that, pitch perfect. Okay, well if you're speaking of pitch perfect the tent if you What that was a good link as well? Oh?

Lovely link look if you want to create memories I don't know what you're linking to okay if you want to create memories that will last you a lifetime Then get along to the next recording of flat share slam down Absolutely right tomorrow night if you're listening to this in the day it comes out Which I hope you are tomorrow night the 12th of August at 8pm We're going to be live on YouTube. So get yourself to event bright.co.uk. Join the Patreon, find us on Instagram at Pappy's comedy, at Pappy's tweet on Twitter, all of that kind of stuff. Look after yourselves guys. Today's episode was produced by Emma Corsham.

Corsham teams. We didn't have to think about it. There are little we had to we had to think about it was cheers everyone. Bye! Hi, Nye. Okay. Hi, Nye. Yeah. Nye. This is happening. Listen up. Today's neighborhood watch. Roll call. Plays be upstanding. Do you understand what I'm saying to you? I'm saying to you, please be upstanding. I think I'm going to. Yeah. Yeah, thank you, though. I understand the words, the location of the person. Who are you? I've gotten you. Who are you?

I've gotten you. Get over here. Who is that guy? Hi, there you there. He is. That's my man. Hello everybody. What's going on here?

Hi. Hi, nice. How are we supposed to be doing for a voice today? What's going on every bottle every wine? Hard day, yeah, okay, let's talk about the neighborhood watch What patron roll call patron roll call everybody? tree and roll call everybody. Welcome our friend from the America from the other side of the pond. You're very welcome. Now which one of us is that? Now which one of us is that? Your friend from even know. But I can tell you this. They always give me glances.

That's right. It's Francis. Oh, how now? Oh, I know everybody. I tell you what. Hi, do you? I love this. I love this lad. He's gone down south. He's always, he's always sending me his drawings. He's a lovely wee lad. His name's David Rawlings. Okay, everyone. It's hey, a lovely wee lad. Sounds like a lovely wee lad, everybody. So, I've got...

Her friend from across the pond. I've got to say it's great to be here, everyone. He's from... I don't know which pond he's from. I I don't know which I don't know which pot these are for He's a cross problem. I've been across a many a pond. I fed the ducks. I've even I've even taught one to talk And I called that duck Richard Walker and thanks How dare you thank you very much? No Thanks! How dare you!

Thank you very much! No! Now, you listen to me, speaking about being across the pond. I saw someone swimming in the pond and they had a lot of promise. And swimming in ponds. Oh! He's a lovely way fella, how do I say it to him? Are you James Thomas?

And what did he say? He said, how dare you? No, that's not that's not me. My name. He said, how dare you ask me my name into pond. Thank you. I tell you what this puts me in mind. Where's? Oh, he was down.

I do believe this. I was down. He's got to leave this. I was down at the pond. How dare you go to the pond? How dare I indeed... He's got that stuff. Speaking of daring and how. Oh, yeah. This guy is a tailor-cord.

Oh, there he go. I don't know how he did it and how dare he for doing it This guy was hoeing a fridge Right to the middle of the pond. Hi, no fly tipping. How dare he? It was Chris's ostrich Wow Fly tipping in the pond. I don't mean today, but that's what he was doing. What did he say? He said hello Like I can stay agree on him. Oh, I can't stay is that your catchphrase?

Is that your catchphrase? What did he say? That's my cat phrase is that what did he say? That's my cat phrase. What did he say? It's a game show I'm prepared to watch. Let me tell you now just the other day I'm sure I prepared to watch but I'm very I'm very upset that I want it How dare you have the day I was walking through the street with my friend and What did he say? What did your friends say? He said, I'm not in a hurry. I said, you're not in a hurry, but I am in a hurry.

So there's no time for you to shilly Shelley. His name was Christian Daly. Oh, I was... how dare you! And what did he say? Thanks very much. I was taking a shit in the pond. Oh no! I was!

How dare you! Because I just don't give a fake. And I tell you who was doing worse than that. Into the pond. No, it was Jim Peck. Jim Peck is a good name for a duck. Where, who are you? And how did you get in here?

I, what did you say? What did you, you called that pond? How do you get that, you get back into pond? Listen. Right, that's it. I've had enough of you. That concludes today's neighborhood watch, patron Rokal, and might I just say, how dare you!

And spoiler alert, I was a ghost all along! Hooray! Hooray! Get into the pond! Go on the world, a ghost, bye! Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes! Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. Bye!