Pappy's Flatshare - House Meeting (Apple vs Bull vs Aniston) S12E33

Episode Date: September 12, 2022

Matthew, Ben and Tom slide into your ear canal for another house meeting. Oh no, off to the Apple Store we go to see the geniuses, AGAINNEXT LIVE SHOWS9th October at The Cheerful Earful festival in Balham - https://www.designmynight.com/london/pubs/balham/the-bedford/cheerful-earful-podcast-festival-day-4Pappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareProduced by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman plotting her course to free the Pat in Lutford. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things. It's like theaters for December 15th.

Greetings, listener dear. I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I am Matthew and welcome to another exciting episode of Papi's Flat Share House Meeting. House Meeting! That's right, House Meeting is where the three of us, the three housemates of your ear canal, get together and talk about any old shit, and that's exactly what we're doing this week. Yes indeed. So obviously it's been quite a historic week. That's a really good way of phrasing it

Matthew. It has been a very historic week. It has been a historic week. What's happened? Yeah well you know I'm actually the queen passed away on Thursday and obviously if you know well I don't want to mean any disrespect but basically we don't reference that at all in this podcast, this is just a silly chat. If you feel like you want a little escape from all of that you come to the right place. If you feel like you're not quite ready for it, wait a week and listen then but yeah it's just you know we obviously you don't need tributes from us, you've had tributes from everybody else. Oh, yeah, and we've already been doing the rounds on the news, you know, like we can do nice. You get that in the mainstream media.

Nicholas, which was first thought was we've got to call Papis? That's true. What are they thinking about the big cloud in the sky that's appeared that looks like? Yeah, they're going to talk about where her majesty's on sweep bathrooms are all the same. A question will never find the answer to, man. We'll never get an answer to that question. That's true, that's true, because obviously Buckingham Palace has been demolished. And King Charles is... Wow, there he is. And the King Charles is orders. Anyway, yes, so we don't really talk about that.

We talk about another great ruler, the Apple store. For quite a long time. It's a Leo Canal special. It really is, it truly is an Leo Canal special. So yes, just to say that we still have a few tickets available for the flat share slam down that we're doing at the Bedford pub in Ballon on the night of October at 5pm. It's a Sunday, so come on down and see us there at the Bedford. It's a double bill of sorts in that the birthday girls are going to be our guests on

Flashy's Landown, and then we are going to be guests on their birthday girls party in the same venue at 7 o'clock. So back to back, two fantastic shows, three amazing guests. And a great pub, right? And a lovely pub. A lovely pub, if you've not been to, if you've not travelled to Taballum, right? And a lovely pub. A lovely pub. If you've not been to, if you've not travelled to Berlin recently, it's a gorgeous area.

And you know, you'll have a lovely time. Come along, come along, have a drink, have a smile. Yeah. Sunday, a really good pub. And a couple of good groups of podcasters. A couple of good groups of podcasters. Yeah, it will. Be a real treat.

It will be a real treat. So, night of October, 5pm, and then 9th of October, 7pm, get all the tickets for both shows at cheerfuleafel.co.uk. Can't wait to see you there. Do come along. We recorded, we did two flagship standouts this week, which I can't wait for you to hear, but they were so fun. And really part of the joy now, especially,

we did them over Zoom for so long. it sort of felt sort of weirdly disconnected now we're back to doing them live I'm really enjoying um meeting people who've uh you've been listening to the podcast you know it's been great it's been really really fun so do come along and come along and say hello and make yourself known um obviously not during the recording. along the say hello and make entirely silent for the whole point. Yeah, it's actually, it is your problem that you never say a word. That's your problem, like nothing's new with the two of us. Never shut it up. Fuck up. Anyway, yeah, and of course, during the Patreon as well, there's still a fantastic

episode over on the Patreon. Bonus beefs, there's all the bonus audio from our flagship slam downs and there is our regular promax episodes that we do every Thursday over on the Patreon. So get over and enjoy those. And yeah, just enjoy this episode. It's a lot of fun. I've had a thought. I've got an issue. I've got a question I want to ask you.

I want to talk. I want a chat. Okay, let's sit down and chew the fat. Has me ting, me ting, me meeting. What temperature should we set the heat? Has meeting. Why on earth am I always waiting? Has meeting. Who went my bed while I was sleeping? Has meeting. What's the point? Does life have a meeting? Has meeting. I had to go to the Apple store yesterday.

Oh my God! You know what? This is unbelievable because I had to go to the Apple store two days ago. So tell me, tell me your Apple store experience and I'll tell you mine. Okay, so it's not strong, it's not a strong Apple store experience basically. Okay, but then I don't know if it's possible to have one. It's a disorientating experience. I don't know what's going on. have one. It's a disorientating experience. I don't know what's going on. Can I ask, your dress like Steve Jobs, did you go there to buy a black jumper?

But I went to see if that's the kind of thing they sell. Yeah. To get the look. So what took you there? My computer charger had stopped working. Right. So I've taken it to, I tried it in every port. I've taken it to different plugs in the house.

It stopped charging. Pinter, Dave. I was free-lancing, so I was on the clock. So I managed to get to lunch with 1% battery left. Oh. Now, I was getting stressful, but I thought, I've timed that treat. Yeah. Nipped into town. I said, I need a new charger, I think. I'll take it's getting stressful, but I thought I've timed that treat. Yeah, nicked into town.

I said, I need a new charger, I think. I take it by computer with me. They got a new charger out. That also wasn't working. Oh, no. Oh, right. And then, yeah, so it wasn't working. They tried one of their old charges, one of their new charges and my charger. They tried the wire with the cable, lots of different, you know, different things, the cable and the box and all this shit. So they booked me a genius appointment, which is one of my first piece. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. You're dassily. Absolutely.

You're dassily. It's a massive call. Because I was in there for that. I started to wait an hour. So I'm watching these fucking geniuses of work. LAUGHTER Do you call them geniuses when you're talking? All right, genius.

It is a bold statement that sort of then gets come all of self- geniuses. And it's an only fail. You can only fail. It's like just seeing anything that, you know, it'd be like describing yourself as the handsome guy, you know? Like, there's gonna be people going, really? Sure, they might be people who say, yeah, yeah,

absolutely, I agree with you, but a lot of people are going, honestly, you're the handsome guy, I don't think so. Yeah, but in their case, it really is like us call ourselves the handsome guy. Yeah. It's a hell of a thing. So you're watching them tinkering away?

I wait an hour for my genius appointment and then I plug my computer in and it just starts charging. No! Just starts charging. And the guy is like, uh... Maybe they are, dude. This is... What did you check it was plugged in? Yeah, I checked it was plugged in, genius.

Ah! What, is it? You check it was plugged in the other end, like plugged into the wall. Yeah, yeah, that's what it came down to. Was that what it came down to? Was this genius thought? I didn't know it's plugged in my own fucking computer. Oh my god. Oh, boy. Maybe that's why the considersale geniuses. They've got know it's plug in my own fucking computer. Oh my god

Maybe that's why they consider themselves geniuses. They've got such a dim view of the rest of us I know Compared to yama fucking genius. I've only added fuel to their fire there basically. Yeah, and it's it worked ever since Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah So he said look all you know, you ran a diagnostics, nothing came up. He said, I'll clean it. He took it away and cleaned it. It was nice. Yeah.

With a duster, I needed that to give me a little bit of status back. I needed this fucking genius to go off and clean my thing, you know what I mean? Yeah. Maybe feel like I could get an ounce of respect for myself. Clean it good, mate. Give me back real clean. Doess of respect for myself? Clean it good mate. Give me back real clean.

Does he charge you for it? No. He didn't charge you for the cleaning. No, he said he'd quite enjoy us doing the cleaning. Yeah. I bet he was delighted. Because actually, if you had to deal with a real technical problem, you would have been all at sea.

But he was absolutely delighted. I used to do it. He said, oh, that's a big thing. He fixed itself and then I got to clean it. Here's the thing you realize in one of those appointments, though, is that there is a shitload of things that they are told that we're not. And I don't think that makes them genius.

Does that make, like, what we're withheld the kind of information that they're given, but then that makes them feel like they're geniuses, but is that what being a genius is anyway? I don't know. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's what's been like a dictator is, isn't it? Yeah, they're hoarding the goods.

It is a store. That's what it is, but like the Apple, you know, the Apple store have this hold on us, like a dictatorship, and you know what, and there are people, and I guess kind of, I'm included in that, hurried through all to this dictator, you know what and there are people I guess kind of I'm included in that or in through all to this dictator you know who who wander around these palaces and go oh yeah new charge exciting you know sort of not

not thinking I'm actually I'm gonna say I'd have to buy a new charge because I've got a you fight me I've never done it before oh new charger exciting price of new charger terrifying well this is of new charger, terrifying. Well, this is it. So let me explain to you my Apple experience. Yes, please. I so, I recently bought myself Air Pods. Right?

I got myself some Air Pods, the little earphones that, Of course. Very, you know, very cool. You think, how did I stay in the year? I always saw people with, by the way, when I, when the first came out, my wonderful wife, Charlie, was looking around, oh, we're walking around,

she's going, what is this trend for people having half a cigarette hanging out there here? Oh, wow. She's genuinely, just like, why are people walking around now with half a cigarette sticking out there here? And it's like, wow. That's a, that's a headphone.

But anyway, but yes, so, so I got these AirPods, and I was really happy with them because basically when you have a little baby, you spend quite a lot of the time where you'll be at a place with the baby and one of you have to go for a walk with the baby to get the baby off the sleep in the pram, right? That's kind of, that's a lot of my time. So I was

at AEM, I was at a birthday party and I realised I was going to have to do that job, but I was walking around without headphones. And so as I was doing it, I ordered these air pods, right? It was only a couple of months ago. I ordered the air pods, brilliant. I've got these air pods. Sounds like you're doing this, mate. Yeah, exactly. And I'll tell you, they cost, they were from Amazon, another dictatorship that I'm in through all two.

They're from Amazon, it has 180 pounds, okay. A lot of money, a lot of money to, but I thought, Waller. Yeah, they're so useful because they're in a little box, I can keep my pocket at all times, it's little box, it's in my pocket, and then I always have my AirPods with me.

And of course, the deal that's really good for them right is that they charge in that little box, right? They charge in the box. Yeah, you've got to charge the box so you still have a charger, but they do charge in the box. Okay. So you put your headphones in,

you know, if your box is charged, oh yeah, as it often is, then you can put the headphones in and if your box is charged, I don't know, I just don't know on. Then you could put the headphones in a walk around and then slowly charge your headphones. So it means that when you, at the end of the day, you can go, oh, put them in and they're 100%. That's the idea. The first disaster happened when about a week into having them,

I was doing the washing up and one fell out into the washing up. And I I fished it out really quickly and of course I was you know you cut I had to just dab it down with a with a kitchen roll you can't put like it's just too small you can't put rice in it and they said in fact don't put it in rice or don't put rice in it. If you put't put rice in it. Either way. If you put it in rice, the rice will go into all the little bits of it. If you have to go into a genius bar. It's a Portland rice bar.

You went to a rice bar. I went to walk to walk. So yeah, so anyway, but I managed to sort that out. It was fine. It didn't seem to affect the sound or the charging or anything. Great, great, great, great.

Anyway. What, can you just re-enact for us the noise you made was fine, didn't seem to affect the sound or the charging or anything great, great, great, great, great, great. Right. Anyway, what, can you, can you just realact for the noise you made when I met you and had these awards to sing? Well, it was a series of, it was a series of nose. I said, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, with the kitchen. Anyway, anyway, that's fine. So this is June. What are we in now? Just very quickly, just very quick question. How often do they come out like that?

Because that's, when I see them, that's my overwhelming feeling for them. You know what, they've never, no, that's not true. That one was a problem, but you'll give you different size buds. You've got a slightly baggy ear. Yeah, one of my ears, my ear on the right hand side, is it's got a bit more give to it.

It's got a bit more wiggle room. Yeah, I've got a baggy left. That means a bag, but yeah, I've got a really left. A bit more wear and tear than the other one. I'm trying to think, yeah, what have I done to that side? So if you're right listen right ones if you're right ones bag yeah and your left ones bag yeah Clark you think it's me being stood between you and you. Yeah yeah yeah yeah

if anything I've I've bagged out your ears. Well I think I feel like you might have stood on my left side and and my left side's slowly closing up to avoid this. Right, it's like an evolutionary step. Where that ear is just slowly gonna melt over. But yeah, no, I don't know why that ear is back. The only thing I can think of is that I sleep on that side. So I'm squishing it every night. Hey, listen to dear, here's a quick thing for you, because obviously some of you might be listening

on the very devices that we're talking about. about good boy listening on some kind of listening devices good times check out which ones you baggy here Give it a bit give them a bit of a wiggle give you a round given a bit of giving a bit of right left now in the old Stereo controls See which one sounds more echoing sure Technician who's got near so badger that get you let go from their own here I'm just going, sure. I'm not even so into this. I'm just going to be playing. I was going so into it. I was going so into it. Who's got a near so baggy that get your echo from their own ear? Let's go over to the right channel, right?

No, right? No. That's not what it's like. If you had to near that baggy, you could just put them both into one ear. I know. I know. Are you thinking of the BFG?

I'm kind of thinking of picture in BFG. Those enormous ears, yeah. But I'm sure it's not that. I'm sure it's not that much, but much worse. No, no, no. I mean, what I do have, if you look at, if you look at my ears, I've shown to you now, you can see actually this ear is sort of closer to the head as well. The other ear flops down.

You know, like the old, you know, in blackfish they've got dorsal collapse. That's what one of my ears has got. Cross me up, got the same, but on the opposite side. Maybe it's the side, sleep on that side. Sleeping on that, because here's another thing. In blackfish, what, so hang on, they Facebook, they Facebook strangers and pretend that they're girls.

Fitting the whales. No, okay. Okay, okay. Okay, I'm not seeing it, but I'm just cool. the whales. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. I'm not seeing it, but I think it's cool. It's really cool, man. I wonder if, because there is a thing as well, and I'm not going to name any names, but there is a parent that I know from being around. A famous parenting podcast.

No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. It's not. Certainly not through anyone. No, this is somebody from an NCT class, I was part of, like not a friend, but they have a- They have a very sensitive podcast. Not a famous NCT. NCT is not the initials of this person.

The, they keep a band around their kids head to stop them from having sticky out ears. So in there is such a thing as like, you know, the fact that my, the fact that I've got a floppy on one side and the side I sleep on is flat to the head. There is some, there is some, they've got a head band, like what, like a permanent headband type of effect. Yeah, they basically always, they, the kid always wears a, wears a headband and, and they said we're talking about a brand new baby, like less than a year old.

Like, just a sweaty baby. I'm on board with that. They're also cool, they look, they're a cool looking baby. I feel like you got a little hurt. I feel like you got a hurt. Hey, you're not gonna have a kid with baby ears. Bear, you're gonna have the coolest baby in nursery. Yeah, yeah, I mean, it's not nothing

of the size of the ears, it's to do with how much they stick out like a trophy. But I think, you know what, I think it's nice to have ears that stick out, you know, gives you a bit of character. Well, I'll say this though, the two things I've observed having a friend who has slightly stickier ears is, you put them off, it takes short hair off the table for them and it puts them off baseball caps. Clarky. Yank, so. Yeah. That's shortly.

That's the observations I've leaned from spending most of my life with Clarky. Yeah. Growing up with that. Now I don't care. Now I'm like, oh, what did I care about? But when the bully cut was all the rage in Wolverhampton, Clarky could often Now I don't care. Now I'm like, oh, what did I care about? When the bully cut was all the rage in Wolverhampton,

Clarky could often be heard to my truck, we should I could have a bully cut, but my nose might be bullied. It'd be a real bully cut for me. It'd be a, giving the bullies exactly what they want cut. Yeah. I'm baseball cut similarly. Is the bully cut, so is the bully cut, sorry, Steve Bull? Is it the same cut as that? Yeah, that's right. cups similarly. He's the bully cups, so there's the bully cups, sorry,

Steve Bull, is it the same cup as that? Yeah, that's right, exactly. The tipped and skin, the tipped and skinned. So it's, yeah, it was like a grade three all over, traditionally. And it was, he managed to get grade three all over, named after him. Like one of the least remarkable haircuts you can have, just the same length all over, that after him. One of the least remarkable haircuts you can have.

Just the same length all over. That's my, like this, and also as well, this is what the 80s, the 90s, you know what's happening. So how do you manage to, I mean, that's just, that is a testament to the charisma of Steve Bull, isn't it? Exactly that. And also, the, the, the, the, the, the,

the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the I bet if you still went into West Midlands Barbars and said, can I have a bully cut, you're getting the same cut. Whereas I don't think Beckham has that. On that right? Rachel from Friends has that. Give me the right to leave. I think Jennifer Aniston still has that. Because it doesn't matter what Jennifer Aniston's hair is now. If you go in and ask for a Rachel cut,

you're coming out with that cut. I think that's fine. Is that because, but then she's not a real person, right? If you went in and said, give me the bar Simpson, they'd go, you know, that's preserved in amber as a haircut, isn't it? Yeah, that's a fair point. So I think that's, you know, I would say that Bull is greater than Amiston. Because you can't go to the Jennifer Aniston,

because they go like, oh, I'll look at what her hair was like in the last movie she did. Whereas, you know, is he going to just stay on brand? Does he still have the bully? Yeah. Well, he kind of does, yeah, like he's obviously going gray and thinner. He walks his dog now around the park that my dad would have. So my brother. He said that was such enthusiasm. He walks his dog now. He thinks he's going to football. You should see him with his dog.

Honestly, that Barbara Woodhouse. My brother and my sister-in-law, seeing most mornings, walking the dog, and to them, they don't play that he's bully because they don't want to make it weird. So he's just like a friendly dog walker that they get to see every morning. And it's a morning bully. He has like a daily relationship with bully. What's broad andry? That's great. Straw andry? So anyway, is there anyone else who, who else could go toe to toe with bully in the barbers

in a regional area, I guess, as the question is, isn't it? Well, I am, like, again, I guess my brain stuck on football, but it's like, if you went into a new castle barbers and said, can I have a David Ginola? What did he have? Like a kind of mullet-y, slightly mullet-y haircut. Yeah. He's like long, slay mullet-y, yeah. Like, I think he would still,

you don't think, oh, what's David Ginola's hair like today? Yes, you're right. You're right. Oh yeah, the David Ginola. Would this same be true of David Seaman? Yeah, I think so. I don't even, you're not really going to a hairdresser for that eye? You're doing that one at home.

I think some barber is going to struggle to see me. I have to go to a surgeon if I want the Seaman. I'm going to... It's not something a barber can just whip up for me. Although if you tell people you're going to the surgeon for some Seaman, that's a very different... I'm going to gonna see horse this baby Tom's done a junior that's not a bad idea is it a bit of a quality in the relationship your wife has the first gear do you have the second one oh I mean it seems fair it's any fair, right? She's done nine months. I really think so.

She's done nine months hard, Grav. How's Beauty? Can I have a lift I live in the need? How's Beauty? Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman plotting her course to free to act in love for.

It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Poor things. It's like theaters for December 15th. So anyway to take us back to the Apple store. Please. So last Friday yeah I got off the train happily listening to my pods, felt my pockets and realized, oh no, a little charger box. Charger box, gone, meh meh gone. So left at home or lost on roof? Well, of course, that's the first thing you do is,

you text, I text Charlie and I say, can you have a look? And inevitably, it's like, you know, it's as I'm going into work, so it's sort of like as she's trying to put Sylvie down for a nap. So I'm like, you know, she's going, oh Sylvie's struggling to nap, and I'm going, yeah, yeah.

Can you just have a look around the kitchen and see if my headphone charges there? Anyway, but sorry, I realize that it's not there. And then I get home that evening, I've done my own little search. It's nowhere around. So I go on, find my, you know that fine thing. Oh, yes. And I see it seems to be like somewhere up on the, in sort of South-Oak. So I think, right, I've got to go to South-Oak.

You could track this box. Well, here's the thing. As I'm planning my trip to South-Oak, I've got to go to Southwick. You could track this box. Well, here's the thing. As I'm planning my trip to Southwick, I can't do it for a few days, so I've got work and the rest, so I think I'm gonna go on Wednesday, I'll go up to Southwick on Wednesday.

As I'm, you know, hoping that it's still, I still be there. I'm really gonna article about it, and they go, oh by the way, the box isn't in the find my only D pod's are. So what you've seen is, that's the last time they had a full charge. Oh, right.

Subbac, I've got the pods with me. I've come back. So I'm not in Sothek. I'm crucially, I'm not in Sothek. Crucially? No. Crucially, I'm not in Sothek. Otherwise, the app would just be called,

are you in Sothek? I've also got that app as well. Oh yeah, it is. It's just checking. You just load it up and it just says, I have a look around you. Are you in Sothek? It takes up a lot of space on the phone,

but it is vital. It's certainly worth it. It's definitely worth it. There's a reason you, it comes with the Apple phone and you can't delete it. Most of it, I get a notification just saying, you're not in S South of the country. You're not in the South of the country,

but the day's when you are. Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, you're not in the South of the country. Oh. Oh. The stupid thing was, I, the, the, the find my app also allows you to send a message to the air pods to say, I've been lost. Yeah.

I'm on my way. How's that been read out? What's happening? The air pods don't say. I have been lost. Could you please pretend they don't, is that just a play in the headphones? Yeah. It says you can send a message. It shows you the text it sends.

It's clear for the phones, they just haven't realized that you can't, you know. But you can play, if you've lost them in the house, you can play a little noise that will help you to locate them. But you can only do it while the airport is charged. Anyway, that doesn't, none of that matters, because I... Is that in case someone finds them, though? Someone finds them, they pick them up and they say, I've been lost and you're like, oh, these are lost.

Yeah, but they don't just have just been left I'm sure someone stole them. They're like he's coming for you Yeah, Liam Neeson right. I'll keep it in stolen. I will find you I have a find my app and I'm on my way PS are you in Southern Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep Yes, are you in Southern? Hahaha. Bipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipip But firstly, no messages getting read out of these air pods. And secondly, it only works while the air pods are in charge. And they died in my arms, basically, whilst the... Oh no! Because you don't turn them off, you just put them in the box.

They just slowly, the bluetooth just stays connected. Just slowly lowering them into a washing up model. Much like humans, they don't turn off, they just get, they run out and they get loaded into a box. Yeah. But unlike humans, this box then regenerates them. I'm back. I'm in South-Ock. Bim loads loads of Googling, all you can get,

for some reason I've bought the AirPods Pro, all the other boxes you can buy are, they're about 60 quid, right? What's the box? And they're for the first and second generation AirPods, so I can't get it. Can I quickly ask, what's the difference between it normally phones and earphones pro?

Oh, I've got no clue. I just, they just happen to be the ones that were the cheapest and most recent on Amazon. So I got, Oh, okay. Apple, Apple do this to me a lot as well where you think, I'll get that thing and then they go, you could get that thing

or you could get that thing pro and you think, I like, I like the style of being pro, mate. Yeah, yeah, I kind of fancy my junters, but you know what, actually. Do you know what, there probably was a little bit of that as well. There's a lot of that with that,

for all that very good. That was a lot of good. I think for 60 quid, I think I'm gonna go professional. I mean, you're really good at listening to music. You could be professional at listening to music, actually, Matthew. You kind of go, do you know what?

And I want to be like normal dude listening to music in the street. I want to be like pro at it. And then, and then lo and behold, I've paid another, whatever, 100 quid for everything happens every time to me. And extra 50 quids, you can be genius. Oh, genius, you can be genius. Oh!

Genius, they'll pay you. Do you remember those yo-yos with the soft drinks on them? They had super professional, didn't they? Yeah. You can have a phanta super and a phanta professional. And the professionals were clear bands around the edge of the yo-yos and the supers were blocked out, colours. And I was always, sprite professional, I was.

That was my brand. That was your go-to. Could you do any of the moves on it? Because I could barely get it to go up and down. Yeah. That was the same. Yeah, it was a one way street for me. The only thing I could do that I couldn't really do,

but I sort of pretended I could do, was walk the dog, you know, it said walk the dog, but you basically be dragging it along. Like, it wasn't real, I was flooring. Yeah, just flounder of the dog. Just dragging it along and going, I'm walking the dog here.

I found, I found, I mean, I was obsessed, everybody in, in primary school was obsessed with those spinners, they were really really into them. I'm so excited for glad, like for glides getting to them. Is that, do you think kids are still into it? I think everyone go, I think everyone goes through it. I'm going to swear, you weren't going to say no, but I had big or small leaves.

Yeah, my god daughter asked for a yo-yo for Christmas. Right, so it comes back around. Oh, yeah. Oh, well it does fit around. Oh, well, it does. It comes back around. It rocks in the cradle. Yeah, I could do, yeah, I could rock the cradle, which always. I like one of the biggest ones. Oh, that's a big one. Yeah, I could rock the cradle. I could rain the world and I could walk the dog. I don't know if I can do much more than that. I know if there was much more than that to do to be honest. Yeah, but you've got a

knackered spinning it down and it's staying there. Yeah, you know, the world's your oyster. Yeah, the world's your oyster you have to climb inside the clams of the yo-yo and turn into a pearl. But did you have a brand? Did you have a go-to? Because it was... I had Fanta. Fanta professional or super? Fanta super.

I will say this. For any what? I think Fanta super was the only good Super. Oh, thank goodness you said that. I've already, like I was thinking through it, I was like only good Super was Fanta Super because it had the really nice orange and blue block deck colours. You look good, man. Yeah, it looked really good.

Yeah. How did you get them? Did you have to send away tokens or do you just buy them from the shops? Well, they just... I Do you have to send away tokens or do you just buy them from the shops? I thought you had to send, I have a save up and send ring pulls or something like that. Yeah, I think so. And then you can buy the strings from the shop in like a little plastic bag, like a party bag, you could go on it. The job of the person's unpacked ring pulls. Their fingers must have been lacerated by the end of the day. That's been because this is the 80s, it's not like it would have been the old fashioned

pull, the entirely pull off ring pulls that would slice you up. Watch what a job. I work in the spin-off factory counting out ring pulls. Is that why you want to get seven fingers? Yeah, yeah. I've been on the job for two days. Seven fingers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been on the job for two days. Ha, ha, ha. Very high turn over. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You don't try to have it for long. Clarkies, did you, did you, did you have one? Did you have one? Did you have one mate? Oh, I had one mate. But I had a fan-tour, which was, I was very upset about that personally. And it was just like the worst one. It was like the basic.

You had a fun to super is what you say. Fanta super. That's the one I had. You were just being kind about the fun super. Does it make cross-refer like, okay about it? Back in Elkhaki. I didn't realise the basic is super. It's not calling you normal place in a shop of genius bar. Yeah, but that's the world of marketing though, isn't it?

That's what you're not gonna have, you're not gonna have the pro and the shitty, are you? You've got to have one that's called, you've got to have one that's called the super to make the kids who didn't get the pro, you know, feel better about themselves. Yeah, it's like coffee shops not having a small, You could have one that's called the soup to make, to make the kids who didn't get the pro, feel better about themselves. Yeah, it's like coffee shops not having a small,

it's just like brilliant, better, super, that has a pro coffee please. Yeah. Two genius coffees. But yeah, that's what I'm saying is this, it basically it works calling it professional. Like if we put out our Thursday podcast and called it Flatslam Pro,

started saying to people, join the patron, you get to listen to Flatslam Pro, people will be like, oh yeah, you know what, I think I was going to be a last time. I think that's an idea. You might have just, you might just might have just somebody there, boy.

I'm not, I'm just saying, I was going to lead you in a lot of money, but. I'm saying, listen to Dears, if you wanna get involved with the Patreon, then we do plan episode. I'm a great kid, man. It's Plappy's Flat Share Pro, you know? I'm like, it just works.

You know, I do be, I do be pro. Yeah, it's place. It's like, oh, I can do it. You see, pro on the end of it, and suddenly everyone's interested. It's so, oh, I can't do it. You said you'd pro on the end of it, and suddenly everyone's interested. It's so cool. That was a diversion, but I was interested to know what the difference is.

But yeah, so you more than I was. Because you're only bloody human, mate. I went into the pro, which means that the case, I couldn't find it anywhere. And also I got a special case, it was called like a MagSafe case case It's like magnetic it locks closed magnetically I'm just I'm an idiot I'm an absolute

You're a professional idiot. You're a professional. I'm an idiot pro Yeah It's having subtitles on a foreign film cheek So anyway, I go online. I can't find this case anywhere, doesn't seem that you can get this case. So I think on the way to Flash Yes Landown on Monday, I'll pop into the Apple Store before the show. Go into the Apple Store.

First as well, there's always loads of people talking to other people, loads of these workers talking to other people. So I eventually, I managed to get the attention of one of them. I say, hey, I've lost the case to my F-Pods Pro, could I buy a replacement, please? They said, oh, you've got to speak to someone at the front. So I go to the front, the greeters, and I say, hello, I've lost the case to my F-Pods Pro, could I buy a replacement case, please? And they said, oh, you need to book an appointment at the Genius Bar. There's no appointment today. But if you come back tomorrow, I said, well, I won't be in town tomorrow. And they said, well, find a Genius Bar near you and book an appointment at the Genius Bar. There's no appointments today, but if you come back tomorrow, I said, well, I won't be in town tomorrow.

And they said, well, find a Genius Bar near you and book an appointment. So I look in Bromley, they only do appointments at 5.45 in the evening for some reason, I can't do that. So I find a place in Croydon, I can book in for 10 o'clock the next morning. So I'm just buying a thing on you.

Yes, but you've got to do it, you've got to do it through the geniuses. That's how you've got to do, get this case. That is great. These creatures. How incompetent are these greeters? The greeters are like just in thralls of these geniuses. The henna dee this is.

How can they not accommodate just buying a box? Well, this is it. It's a, I'm buying a charger basically. That's what I'm buying on buying the box. Well, this is it. It's a cat. I'm buying a charger basically. That's what I'm buying I'm buying the charger. So anyway, the next day I drop off the kids I get in the car at the genius bar at the genius car the genius bar I drive and I'm driving through traffic I'm late to the guy. I'm gonna miss my genius appointment to this place in Croydon when I get there It's not even a proper genius bar. It's like an empty

You know when you're going to a shopping center and you're like, ah, right. Why have they not just closed this place down? place in Croydon. When I get there, it's not even a proper genius bar. It's like an empty shot. You know, when you're going to a shopping center and you're like, ah, right, why have they not just closed this place down? Every shop seems to be, you know, there are the shops that I think at one point would be open, but just weren't open at 10 o'clock in the morning, because, you know, who shops at 10 o'clock in the morning? So, I eventually get into this place and it's an accredited Apple place, but it's not a genius part. It's called the repair shop.

It's an accredited place. So I sit down with a guy and I say, look, I've lost my headphone case. Can you please get me to get me to your headphone case? He goes, yeah, yeah, we can order one in. I'm like, okay, fine. Let's order one in. And he said, yeah, it's 120 quid. And I was like, and I was like well could I just, you know the actual

headphone cells. Could it not be? Yeah that's kind of what I said. Yeah it's really chance you can, you know, come on I'm a good guy, you're a good guy. Could it not be that? And he said, I said look the headphones themselves cost 180. Are you telling me that, you that each headphone is 30 quid and the rest is charger?

That can't be the case. And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we don't advise you by it. What? I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, but that's great, you not advised me by it. But now I've got these two airpods that don't work, I just use this little bit to plastic. I thought, a shot front guy can tell you that.

No, I don't. If only I, a shot front guy can tell you that. No, I was. If only I was a genius, I could tell you, don't do that. Yeah, he says, well, we're vios, you don't buy it. And he says, he says, what I recommend you do is buy a new set of AirPods. I'm like, yeah, I don't wanna do that. I don't wanna do that. And he's like, look, if you get the brand new ones,

the brand brand new ones, they're really, really good. And I was like, yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure I said, oh, you need a mate. Pro pro. Weirdly they've called it pro basic. And did it all I, there's a pot max. Is that what we're talking about?

Fuck knows, anyway, I'm not, I say to him, I'm not There's AirPods Max. Is that what we're talking about? Fuck knows. Anyway, I'm not by an AirPods Pro Max. My gut health is fine. I don't need that. So I'm so... You're easy to swallow to be fair. Well, that's what happened to us, a name. Curse your soul.

Curse your soul. Yeah, thought she swung an AirPods. No, of course. No, it's also. Yeah, I thought she swung in her airpods. I love God. No, you didn't, mate. Yeah, bro. No, also, no one keeps loose vitamins in their pocket. You shouldn't even keep loose,

airpods in your pocket. Put them in the charging case. I'm not using the barren of this entire story. Yeah, exactly, yeah. So anyway, I say, well, look, I don't want to buy new, I've got these, I've got AirPods. It'd be Matt but he said, when did you last buy so I bought them in June?

I don't want to be buying them every few months just to get new AirPods. And so then he goes, oh well, we could always have a look on eBay. And so I'm driven to fucking Croydon to sit in a room with a guy and search eBay. And eventually we do. He's next level, that's why they call them geniuses.

Well, he's thinking outside the box. Cosby, you didn't check eBay. I didn't see, I checked Amazon, I checked a bunch of like reputable places. I don't want to buy them second hand. Geniuses basically say, look let's buy ones that have been stolen from some person on the back by yours back yeah this is this is exactly yeah so he said he said like check check on eBay and there was one there that was like a what are they called it re furbished yeah yeah refurbished yeah refurbished they great yeah it was like a refurbished

thing and it was and it was in a in was in a box and I thought, okay, well, I'll get that and they're arriving on Monday, but they were 70 quid. No, what? No, what? He's what genius is doing. Crying to genius. He's, you're saying it is a,

it is a bit, e-bay account, isn't it? He's going home, he's going home with a couple of air pods. It is parking every night He's going home with a couple of air pods To people are coming in he's saying oh, I tell you what mate. You don't be buying you. Let's check Let's check e-bay all hello. This guy's selling sub just happens to have the same name as me This is for numbers after his name. I know you're in luck. I take it all back.

I think this guy really is a genius. I see one who's sticking it to the man. He's screaming off the top. Anyway, I've had the man as you by the way. I feel like a fucking idiot. That's the experience we're going to the genius bar is that you feel like a crettin. Because now, I've spent $69.99

by a secondhand airport, airport case, which I'm going to fucking lose in three months time anyway. I feel like I need to do something like, you know, like how an old person might have a string around their glasses. But you're just hiding the whole headphone today. Yeah, if only these airports are some kind of wire attached to them.

That's what I need to do, is I need to get some wires attach them to the headphones and attach them permanently to the case and hang the whole lot around my neck constantly. Yeah. Oh my God, I feel, you know, it's just such a, it's such a disparaging experience because what do you, what, like what's the alternative?

They've set up a system that there's no link for you to just go online and buy it. You can only get it from a genius. There are 120 quid, they say don't get it. He also has said, you can get them from Amazon, they're like 30 quid, but they're knock off ones. When you go on Amazon thing and it's got four reviews, and the average is 2.5, and you go go, well I'm not getting that, am I? But he's like, oh maybe that'll be all right?

36th grid and I'm like, oh god, it's all a fiddle isn't it? Crossbeak, exciting news for you today because I just went on to have a check to see what the official terminology is for these new boys and AirPods Pro second generation. So we're into generations now of earphones. AirPods Pro's second generation, they drop today

pre-order from 1pm, they're available on the 23rd, but you can pre-order them today at 1pm. Well, I'm getting my case, it's being delivered on the 21st. So I'll probably lose it on the 22nd, so I'm as if it's pre-order now. I think I'm going to die in just in time. Tom, talk me through it. How much is it going to be? It's a click on view pricing to see how much it's going to be and it

message comes up. We can't wait either. We want to start at one period. Yeah, but see you then. then but how much is it how much though? Oh, yeah We're excited. I'm rubbing my hands together with glue. Yeah, go just just just just just It's just you're gonna go in there. You'll be you'll be excited to you know what I'm excited to find how much Money you've just been we can't wait to the part your money from yeah, I mean like why can't they just say how much it's They said because you're watching the event simple These earphones have got an event What's the event live

It's insane. It is fucking insane. It's insane, but for some reason I'm in this is the world. I'm living in Throw in my throwing good money after bad. Well, it feels like the only alternative is to live under a rock. It feels like there's two that you can't be a ladite. I mean, I will say this. I don't think, now, I've got bluetooth headphones. Well, everything's booted these days. They are famously the catchphrase. These are my biggest, they're my biggest bane.

They're the root of my daily annoyance. Because... Oh, you're not talking about Tom Hardy, you're not... I always thought he was playing that. As soon as they... He's a very muffled Tom. He's a mask, he's a mask, not earphones, yeah. So it's like, as soon as they get to like 60% charge,

this woman starts talking to you, saying between six and 12 hours remaining and it's like, I don't need to know that. No. But she'll continue to tell you that every 15 minutes or so. There's got to be a setting, you can switch that off, you've got to be, there's got to be a setting, you can switch that off. You think?

You think? I've been in there, I've been online, I've been all around it, you'd think. If you've been to a genius bar, Tom. Then that's something that's not helpful. And then also, and I mean, look, this is tedious, I you'd been to a genius bar, Tom. Then suddenly they're not happy. And then also, and I mean, look, this is tedious, so I'll try and keep it brief. But if you connect it to your laptop on your phone at the same time

and you need to go somewhere, so you pick up your phone and you walk away, and it severs the connection from your laptop, then she says, you know, you've just lost connection, but she will never stop telling you that. No, what? So you have to then switch the whole commood off and switch it back on,

because she won't let go of the fact that you've left your connection. The attachment issues. And I'm like, I know, I know we've left that connection, but you're still connected to your phone, so you don't need to keep telling me, she keeps telling you, she keeps telling you. So I walk down the road like a madman,

like shouting at this damn thing about it. I was like, I know, you don't have to keep telling me and people are like, whoa, whoa, oh, I've always got issues. And it's like, yeah, me issues on these fucking headphones. It's like, top, top. Or because, gone. Can I recommend you get yourself a pair of AirPods? Ah!

Ah! I have to wait till 1pm today! I can't wait either. So you got like, so I think the ultimate question is, were wires that bad? Was having that little wire down to your pocket that bad? Oh, and that little wire down to your pocket, you want to keep that by the way, don't take over that. It's like the price that you pay for the emotional price. The price that you pay is your sanity,

is your financial well-being, or because we've been told that this wire thing is not okay anymore. It was fine, it was fine for 30 years. Well, you know, like obviously you have the occasional the wires annoying or like, but not as much as this woman fucking getting inside my head and playing tricks with my heart. You know, you're not falling for it like that's it. She's just like that.

You know, she just tries me. Why are the cast not thinking about it? I know the edible one, I hear from wild. I can't stop thinking about her. I'm angry at her but I want to hear from her. She seems a bit needy. She seems a bit like every time you move out of another room she tells you that you're being disconnected. Yeah. Anywho. Yeah, exactly. Don't get me tied on my car. I go into my car and she's desperate to attach to my car and start talking to the car. I don't want to talk to the car. I'm only going for a two minute journey. I need to go out the car to go eat a saint's breeze but she's lost on the car now and then you leave the car

and she says you have lost connection. Don't connect! I didn't have a lost connection. I've got to go out the car. That's what I've done. I mean, you've got to leave my step man shouting at the car. I'm still in front of sayings with his points at my own car, saying it like I'm having an argument with myself. Give me the wires, give me the wires back. I'm telling you, can you imagine if all this time you go in somewhere to ask and they go, oh this is a wired headphone?

You shouldn't be the here again, the thing. There is no woman's voice. Yeah mate. How's BD? Can we get this piece of Deliverton and BD? How's BD? It was a lot of fun. Wasn't that fun? I enjoyed that a lot. I enjoyed that a lot. It was a real tonic in the afternoon. We hope we've helped work out the size of your ear canal as well. Listen to dear, we're happy to provide that service. Yes. Do get in touch. Yeah, we'd love to know. We'd love to know, papiFlatMetShare at G-Mill.com. Tell us about whether you've got a slightly larger left slightly larger right, both pretty large, both pretty small. We'd love to know.

Oh, yeah, are you cock-bollock? Are they exactly the same size? Are you cock-bollock? Are they exactly the same as Bob? Are you cock-bollock in the ear holes? We'd love to know. Absolutely. Get in touch, guys. Yeah, don't forget to review, rate and review the podcast. Tell your friends about it, all of that kind of stuff. And if you're thinking of joining the Patreon but are on the fence, then, well, we can only recommend it.

It's really, really good fun. And here's the sort of thing that you might be enjoying. Here we go. Matthews embarrassing failed attempt at a joke. He's put it in brackets here to repeat the joke. Where is it? We all know what it is. Matthews embarrassing failed attempt at a joke.

Remind me of a similar experience I had at work years ago. My mate told me he'd been in a meeting with, my mate told me he'd been in a meeting with three of them, competed to see who could sneak the most lethal songs, song title, into the conversation. We need more help, ideally yesterday, etc. I thought it sounded fun, so I planned to attempt it surreptitiously at the pub that night. I don't know why I'm very sorry but it's just the idea then. Oh, this is the guy who's gone.

That's a fun game. I'm playing on my own. That's a fun game for me to play in my own head. My mate was talking about his first few dates with a mutual friend of ours. Actually more than a mutual friend of ours, actually more than mutual friend, me and her had done bits as the kid said, if I'm honest. The frame hadn't completely died for me. I decided to attempt the mixture to go...

You can't see. Random, nobody tends to situation. It's really got me there, Gareth. He's playing Gareth. He's playing Gareth. He's playing Gareth. He's playing Gareth. He's playing Gareth. He's playing Gareth.

He's playing Gareth. He's playing Gareth. He's playing Gareth. He's playing Gareth. He's playing Gareth. He's playing Gareth. He's playing Gareth. He's playing Gareth.

He's playing Gareth. He's playing Gareth. He's playing Gareth. He's playing Gareth. He's playing Gareth. He's playing Gareth. He's playing Gareth. He's playing Gareth. Sorry, shooting, I decided to attempt the Beatles game, choosing a little known album track I quite liked and have been listening to recently. I waited for a pause in my mate's story, shook my head earnestly to sell the line and said, you're going to lose that girl. There was a good silence.

Then the night continued and I didn't have a chance to explain. I still feel the cold sweat. The thing is, mate, the thing is, Karath, if you had a explain, it would have been worse. I'm playing a game in my own brain where I have to say beat the songs instead of acting like a human being with you. Anyway, there was an Auckland silence and there's no other cold sweats. I went to their wedding a few years later, so no lasting harm done, where I sang the song, you're the least I can go.

As their first dance, cheers everyone. Bayy didn't do that. Cheers everyone. Bayy, Gareth, Gareth, I enjoyed the hell out of that message. Thank you so much. I went to the mid-wedding, go harm someone. Until I announced on a podcast that we'd done bits. Yes. No. And till I announce on a podcast that we've done bits, it's very much Papi's Flatshare

Pro. Let's be honest. Yeah. It is Papi's Flatshare Pro at no mistake. No, mistake in it. Yeah. So yeah, please get on board. Come and join the Patreon community.

We have a lot of interaction with those guys. We have a lot of fun. so yeah, come and join us. Do they're a good bunch? They're a good enjoy-ish, count board. Alright then, well today's episode was produced by Emma Corsham. Corsham team! Cheers everyone! Bye!

Bye! Hello dear, welcome to the checkout. Oh, I see you're buying yourself a Patreon neighborhood watch roll call. Beep beep beep beep beep. Oh lovely, a lovely bag of rocket. I like to eat it wild. I put it on the side of my pasta when I'm eating with Paul God child. Good child beep beep beep. Hello, hello my darling. Welcome to the checkout. Here it is.

That's where you are at the moment. The checkout. So welcome to it. Oh, I tell you what. Oh, yes. You've ordered a lot of healthy stuff, haven't you? I can tell when it comes to foods, you're a goodie, not a badie.

You're a my, and my friend, Hadi. Hello. Welcome to the checkout. Welcome. Thanks so much for coming. I'll tell you what, these eggs, can you have got a case for them? They're a bit of a handful. Go back and get a box, Susan Turnbull. Beep, beep, beep. Go back and get a beep. Welcome to the checkout. Go back and get it! Welcome to the checkout, because that's where we are. Go and get a box for your eggs. BEEP! Oh, I see, you've got a lovely breakfast plan, you've got some prune, you've got some oats,

you've got some porridge too. Oh, you're going to have some real Ooty Joy! BEEP! Can I come round for breakfast with my brother, Stoty Boy! Oh yes! You should do, yeah. Oh I tell you what, you've got some lovely awful here. Oh, you've got some gorgeous awful, you've got some

awful. You've got some kidneys there, you've got, you've got, you've got a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little,

a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, little, a little, a, a little, some cows lung. Yeah, I tell you what, you're a big fan of the organ, aren't you? Yeah, you put me in mind about my dear friend, Gareth Morgan. Of course Morgan, he loves the organ, he loves the organ, yeah, yeah. Welcome to my tell you. I tell you to check out, beep, beep, beep, because that is where we go.

That's where we are, we're going to check out. We're going to check out and welcome to it. I'll tell you what I've been working on today. I'm absolutely running off for you. Please take over all the vahews. Beep, beep, beep. Oh, here we go. I'm just putting through your shopping,

but yeah, I'm gone a minute. You've got things in your pockets that you're sneaking past my checkout. What's margarita mix burritos tacos you're under arrest sunny boy for shoplifting you better call a lawyer I'm gonna see you go to jail you shop lifting Ben Boyar oh my goodness he's going to jail oh beep beep welcome to the till. Straight from the check out for that. That's where we are.

That's where we are. Welcome to the check out everybody. That's where we are right now, the check out. Oh my, beep, beep. Oh my goodness, you know, we have a sale on here for Mother's Day, of course. Of course, yeah, of course. All of the year.

They always forget, don't they? They always forget, yeah, yeah, it's Mother's Day, of course. Of course. Yeah, of course. They always forget, don't they? They always forget, yeah, yeah. It's Mother's Day, right? So we're having a sale for Mother's Day and you know, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was,

it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it Hello, Mar-dele. Anyway, bye. He's finished a shift. I'd love to check out for that is where we are. That's where we are. This is where we are. I'll tell you what, I'll be working all day. All these beeps. They give me a right split headache.

Be a love where you and go and get me some Advil. James J. Powell drill. Fine art. Beep beep. Oh, we've got two bread rolls here. I call them a carbon abun. Very good. Enjoy both your sandwiches.

My lovely Kate Robinson. Beep beep beep. Oh my. But the checkout for that's where we are. That's where we are. Welcome, welcome to the checkout. We're having a lovely time here at the checkout for that's where we are. That's where we are. Welcome, welcome to the checkout. We're having a lovely time here at the checkout. It's where we are.

It's where we are. Oh, let me tell you, the food here is absolutely fantastic. Some people think it's brilliant. Some people think it's wonderful, but everybody thinks it's good. That's right, it's nice, isn't it? Anyway, that's nice. Please welcome Mardel. That's right, it's not as nice isn't it? Anyway, that's nice, it's you.

Please welcome Mardel. Hello Mardel. Hello Mardel back. Happy Mother's Day. Back for another shift, Mardel, well done. And also welcome my dear compadre Craig Wood. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Welcome to the till. Well, out yeah. Well look at you

buy all of this bread, more bread and more bread. I love it but it's a lot of gluten. Are you sure you can manage all that? I love a routine. Well, listen now, it's not our place to comment on what people are buying. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B- and spectacularly entertaining. A woman plotting her course to freedom at inla... It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Poor things. It's the like theaters, December 15th.